Dating Stories That Ended Bad! | What Are The Common Red Flags?
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- čas přidán 18. 12. 2019
- Learn Spanish With Violeta!
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In this video, we have a special guest! Violeta from Social Spanish and I will talk about the dating scene in Colombia and how clients of us have been scammed.
We already heard so many different stories of how people got scammed by Colombian girls. In this video, we want to talk about some of those stories and also give you tips on how to spot some common red flags!
Common red flags when dating:
- When it is too good to be true...it most probably is!
- A big age gap
- Asking for gifts, especially before even meeting
- When she asks for money for her sick granny, her sick pet, or for her broken phone
Violeta is a Spanish Tutor for over 8 years and has helped many foreigners to get fluent in Spanish. The advantage of tutoring is surely the individual approach she can take with every student. Depending on your level, speed, etc. she will adapt to your specific needs in order to make your learning experience the best possible!
On top of that, you can already start learning Spanish with Violeta today! Violeta has her own CZcams Channel where she talks about common mistakes, how to pronounce words properly and more!
Find more info here:
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🎥 CZcams: / violeteacher
Don't hesitate to contact us with any Expat questions you might have. No matter if you've got questions about Medellin, Bogota, Santa Marta or Colombia in general. We would love to support you on your journey.
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This Channel's mission is to help and educate Expats, soon to be Expats and travelers.
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#HowToExpat #DatingInColombia #SocialSpanish
Thanks for the video. I am colombian and I would like to add some things. Make sure the girl you are talking with is studying at the college or graduated (more educated people are middle class, so they have a good life here) and if she speaks english, that is a good sign because in Colombia the education is still a privilege)
And these "hot girls" that wear vulgar clothes are not good girlfriend/wife material. That is common sense
No money no honey. Remember that!
And likewise - no honey, no money.
My wife is Colombian and 19 years younger than me and she’s definitely not with me for money because I don’t have any!
How long have you been married for, where are you located?
@@IvanAkinfiev lol, concerned citizen?!
Sure. I never tell my GF I have any money either.
I got a girlfriend in the states that’s 19 years younger than me.! If you are a attractive man or woman in the States you’ll be more attractive in Colombia but, if you had a hard time in the states getting a girlfriend or boyfriend nothing changes in Colombia it’s the same. It’s only a little better in Colombia than the states.
My favorite is that she is about to be evicted and tomorrow is her birthday.
I would ask her to find a nice landlord....and then I would say Feliz Cumpleanos:) fact
I am talking with a woman in Honduras. Everyone says she is just trying to get a green card but she seems genuine and I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Here's a much better option.. visit Medellin for 6 weeks, take a 4 week beginner Spanish class for $390. Go to stores, restaurants to practice your Spanish, ordering food, buying clothes, etc. Learn to ride the metro. Don't mess around with the first 10 women that give you the time of day. Dress like the locals. This will take you out of your comfort zone but is equivalent to a college degree on how to deal with women in poorer countries.
I can't do it. You need to know that you cannot date women from many other countries without dating the entire family. You marry them, you have to marry the entire family. All of your free time is spent at social events for the family and some of the things celebrated are so small, the rest of us don't bother. You can only go on vacation from where they were born. You are non-stop shipping them things their family "needs" back to their home country.
If you are bored, have no hobbies or social life, foreign women are a great way to make sure you are preoccupied. Forever.
I dated a Colombian girl for a year and not once did I ever have to do anything or send anything to her family. I went with her to see her sister for one weekend and that's because I wanted to go, if not she would have gone alone. You as a man, decide how much you want to do for the woman and how much to get involved in her family life, period.
Lamooooooo
@@zerocal76 🎯
I date woman up to 60 years difference in age and been fine with it! I an 78 years old! 12 years difference is so the Spanish teacher are too old for me since she looks 30+ years old and she is way to old for me! My woman age range is 18-26!
Great video! Y muy importante para nosotros solteros! Thank you Violeta and Sam for posting this and also giving us the right perspective to be very cautious but also not too TOO paranoid either.
Y, por supuesto, nunca volveré a tomar bebidas en un bar. ¡¡Estoy bromenando!!
The English teacher is funny and cute, plus love her accent.👍😉
Oh...and one last thing:
PLEASE understand relationships simply dont last FAITHFULLY for a lifetime. IT does NOT matter if you marry a woman from america or overseas...your relationship will end one day because we live in a era where EVERYONE has so many choices for partners.
EVERY relationship has ONLY 2 outcomes...either they cheating or they eventually leaving.
Women are the same ALL OVER THE WORLD. The ONLY difference between is women cultures are different when you travel....BUT the lies, cheating, etc etc is ALL the same ALL over the world.
NEVER FORGET MY MESSAGE BELOW:
"Spend time in relationships...BUT ALWAYS keep you money and your heart in your pocket."
You have been advised.
Enjoy and good luck.
Advice that people with a bad attitude give to everyone even little children. Shame on you man. That's how you advice your kids ? Shame on you !
@Delroy kelly The truth is as much as people want to degrade relationships which lead to Marriage. Marriage will always stand the sands of time. The only difference is that pop culture wants to mislead people into thinking relationship are doomed for failure because of the growing population and it's okay to breakup "if all our needs and wants are not met". So the truth is , we are not to accept such lies, because we all understand that vows such as "till Death Do Us Apart" are still relevant for meaningful relationships. And the future lies with us to stay committed and walk the talk, for the world to be a better place for our generation and the next. #NakedTruth
@@dionkungu2752 With what the divorce rates are, marriage is not standing the sands of time
@@Baz_09 Clearly because of the ability to just wake up and divorce. Ooh you don't love me like I want you to. It's a free world. You should just let them go, if you truly love them. Please ! this are people who are not mature and they're clearly too selfish. Hence they should not have been married in the first place. Marriage is not the problem. The problem is getting married and living like people who are cohabitating.Making a mockery of the Vows. But it doesn't not mean Marriage or a good relationships don't last long anymore. The're real life people who enjoy this privilege. So don't add fuel to the blazing fire. We know divorce rates are high and we know where the problem is, but we should remain optimistic and teach our children the truth about marriage. So that they can enjoy the same privilege of being married"till death do..."
@@dionkungu2752 keep dreaming
So...the same as everywhere. but still good advice.
Parece que no le gusta Colombia. Sus comentarios son 💔.
I would lie and tell her skateboard and gifts got lost at airport. Lay her a few times and move on.
I lived in Panama back in the mid 90's. I was warned to be careful of the women I listened but didn't hear. Went to all the clubs, the hottest girl I saw all the time was hustling but it really was worth the 1 or 2 weeks. If you're older just go down there and keep busy and make absolutely sure you reject the first 10 women that come on to you because those are the biggest troublemakers. If you act like a sucker they will play you like a sucker.
Heck, tell them straight up you're not dating and go about building your status slowly over time. If she's not working don't even think about it.This is only 10% of what you need to know but this is enough to keep most guys out of TOTALLY UNNECESSARY TROUBLE.
it's always best to have friends with benefits type of relationships in these countries, if your over 40.....it's always cheaper in the long run, without the headaches .......
Nothing has EVER been said better.
Great job as always, Sam! I enjoy your channel a lot.
I know couples in the US that have more than a 30 year difference. Every culture is different. Apparently Colombian culture is age gap sensitive. I recommend the Philippines for age gap acceptance. Good Luck!
Another great video. You're lucky you do not have to worry about dating in Colombia, even with some common sense it is a challenge out here!😅
Jajaja well said :D
It is not about the age gap, It is about choosing a lady with good character an good morals. While I agree with some of her advice, but you can tell that she has lived in the united states which I am sure has shaped a lot of her opinions on this subject. Because age gaps of more than 12 years are very common in colombia. I have exactly 42 male friends who live in medellin that are between the ages of 50 an 73 an they all have wives who are more than 20 years younger than them an all 42 men that I am friends with from medellin have been happily married from 8 years of marriage to 10 an 15 years of marriage all the way to my friend who 73 an has been married to his wife for 23 years. All of them have well adjusted kids who have successful business carreers. A few of them even have grand kids.
Yes this video does seem a bit misinformed about an age gap problem from my research. Sure if a gorgeous childless 25 year old is throwing themselves at you right away she is probably trying to trap you. I do agree that providing money before the relationship is well established is always a bad idea. Sure if you want to be a sugar daddy go right ahead.
One should rarely take advice from a young woman very seriously in my experience.
@@RustyCohle I got a better one for you, never take advice from women about life in general, God forbid romance!
I'm 52... but gorgeous... so I assume that they love me.
yup, they love your money :-)
Settle down and have a family like I did...I'm 58...so it isn't too late. And if you don't want a family then who cares if they really love you.
Courtenay McKee young Colombians love young men and oldies money
I am divorced twice , nothing can scare me now :))) Violeta has sweet smile :)
This is good advise for foreigners because I see a lot of odd couples in Colombia, and I feel sorry for the guys who get ripped off. Some of these guys are truly looking for a relationship and your video explains in detail the way women think in Colombia.
Mi novio es mayor que yo y la primera mujer con la que salió en Colombia tenía su edad y en la segunda vez que hablaron le pidió dinero por qué según tenía un familiar enfermo o algo así.
El es mayor que yo y lo quiero muchísimo y nunca me imaginé saliendo con un hombre mayor ya tenemos 8 meses juntos y los dos hemos estado el uno para el otro, hemos pasado muchísimas cosas difíciles pero hay vamos, en muy poco tiempo seré una abogada y ya el ha terminado su vida profesional así que veremos cómo continúa, lo único que digo es que no todas las mujeres jóvenes piensa igual Sam.
Siento lo mismo, tengo 40 años, mi novia tiene 21 años, ambos somos conscientes del significado y de lo que la gente piensa, pero son solo dos personas una vez que dejas de lado todo lo demás y ha cambiado nuestras vidas en Colombia de una manera excelente. buena suerte a todos
Emily Gil mi amor 8 meses no son nada. A ver cómo te va en unos días y años. Ojalá que bien y mucho amor.
Good information and very honest
Those stories happen a lot in Thailand too. Mother is sick, sick buffalo etc etc
A fool and his money are soon parted, lol.
Here's some very much related Spanish vocabulary to this topic:
Grilla - gold digger
Burundaga - scopalamine. Also called escopalamina. This is the drug Violeta was talking about.
El marrano - You, the chump being scammed, the sugar daddy or the guy who pays the bill for your "amiga" and her girlfriends while you party all night long.
El paseo millionario - You are taken from one ATM to the next to take out as much money as possible. This usually happens after you've been given burundanga. Or at gun point.
Stay safe out there people, like they say in Colombia, NO DES PAPAYA!!
And ladies, don't think for one second that handsome Colombian dude won't turn you into his Sugar Momma.
You can't help guys that want to give their money away. My advice is just date here. And it helps to be an unagreeable person such as myself. I think I actually like blowing women off that I suspect are insincere.
But I did finally settle down here in Medellin. I'm 57 and my wife is 31 and we have a 2 year old daughter. If you want to marry a Colombiana....marry one that wants your babies.....if you don't want a family then don't marry a Colombiana because that is the only real reason for them to marry.
Congratulations Tommy and sound advice.
Make sense
@A W my resources are in the USA....you can keep a wife and child here for less than child support in the USA.
Well I guess it is a matters of perspective really.
I see quite a few guys that would rather go extinct than have children
@@tommylee7760 😂😂😂😂😂
@AA 4SHAW Divorce settlements are civil judgements.....and are only applicable in the country they are awarded.
All of my assets are in the USA.
Heyyyy....12 years is not too much of a difference. My wife of 14 years is 12 years younger than me. I'm 54.
Always listen to Too $hort.
quality dating advice
Hey guys , this video is very informative especially those people with the eutopia mentality of women in south America or elsewhere rather than your own nation. So please be informed before you bump into this. Though if you believe you can find a wife in Colombia, don't lose hope just be wise and keep the faith as you keep on searching. I 2 believe I will marry a Latino who speaks English and still has the Spanish heritage. Also I would love to adopt a Colombian preferably a Afro descendant Colombian who loves soccer/football.
Smart, enterprising people could help foreign travllers as security/consigliere for these unscrupulous people.
good advice
Good info
Thank Goodness I've never gotten into that situation in over 12 years!* 👍
Learn Spanish With Violeta!
🤓 Tutoring: socialspanish.co/
🎥 CZcams: czcams.com/users/violeteacher
I can't seem to get theink to the Spanish teacher classes is it working for yo
Can i have her class link please. This one wont download
@@kevinmoore7081 Here you go: socialspanish.co/
Sam & Violetta. Thanks for the video. A lot is common sense, but it's good to be reminded of the reality. I'm at the early stage of the old stage. lol. Anyway, I've been concerned about my date or the women in my family and life getting drugged, but I don't pay so much attention to my own possibility of getting drugged. Scammed? Oh yeah. If you're on an international dating site, it feels like every week or two some scammer tries to scam me. Is it just me? Maybe I should stop smiling so much on my profile pics. ;-)
Its all over the world and if youre over fifty...keep it real.
I'm scared now. She wants to come to me. I'm 26 and she says she 24 some of it is red flags. But I hope it works for me
Somebody said ‘wife is a costliest whore’. Isn’t sugar daddy is best just stay alone keep them only to use them. Nothing more
I'd like to take Violeta’s Spanish lesson 😀
they was asking me money like $50 USD or more before to meet them for the first time! that happened few times in Cartagena. and then I said no and when i meet them again in the street. She asked me again more money to go back home! But she was working ina nice super store and she was born and raise there! I don't feel I want stay there anymore. I left actually.
The stories about scopolamine making people into zombies seems physiologically impossible.
medellin can be like miami, kyiv, los angeles...lots of may/december relationships...i realize age is just a number but if the woman is 25 or younger and the guy is 55 or older, those numbers won't add up...30 and 23, yes...45 and 31, ok, 60 and 45, ok...but be sensible
How about 58 married to a 32 year old and a 2 year old daughter....just don't try to pull that off in the States and you'll be fine
Having a young family is a lot less stressful the second time around. More time to spend with your child and less worries about money.
@Michael Walker agree completely
Hi Sam, I enjoy your posts. I clicked on Violets link and was told it was dangerous to security. Can your please advise as I need spanish lessons and she seems well suited. Brett
Im 64 she is 26 but ive been taking care of her for a year but we are in Bogota and she is Venez refugee with a one year and three year old. I know what everyone is thinking but i never had kids so???
If you're a man in your 40's, 50's or 60's, just eat right and keep your body in shape. That would bring up your sexual marketplace value in the eyes of those women.
LOL this video makes me glad I am not a guy. Always wise for everyone to be careful though.
Yea, there is basically zero benefit to being a guy nowadays. The world worships women.
@@Harpazo24 facts women have extreme privilege
If it’s more than 12 years difference just realize it’s about money and not true love.
True love is overrated anyways!
I went to a bar in the Candelaria area of Bogotá and a beautiful girl approached me. I was drinking my beer and she ask me to buy her a drink 5 minutes in the conversation. I bought her a drink. I needed to go to the restroom and I took my beer with me. Her eyes open up and she said: no tienes que llevar tu copa al aseo contigo. Tu copa está segura. Yo vigilo a tu copa. I responded: si mi copa esta más segura conmigo. Gracias.
Well she felt insulted and never returned to speak to me. I felt so sad that I lost out.
@Robd1 replies that is so correct. I’ve had not just girls but this guy brought me to his house to meet his wife and two kids and he didn’t even know me. Same happened with some girls. People in Colombia are generally friendly people.
In candelaria I was on that particular mission so I was prepared.
What is the name of the drug you mentioned twice?
Scopolamine
Devils Breath, origin is a common flowering plant found in yards of Los Angeles. Unsuspecting property owners handle it with bare hands! Easily reduced to a powder and if blown in your face renders the affected a zombie and compliant to the perpetrators requests.
Good video 👍👍. As obvious this information is, some old guys still think the girls are in love with them because they are handsome. You just have to be honest when you meet the girl, and establish the rules of the sugar daddy relationship. She needs iPhone, you need a young thing...
This is the way. I don't care what others think, I know what I want.
Damm all those chumps making it worse for everyone else. My last trip I would hook up with girls on tinder and within a day or two they ask for money/presents.
We have a say in the army for when we go on mission. If you are a 4 in your country, you are a 4 everywhere
Two questions:
1) Do you have any idea as to whether there are Colombian women above 35 who do not have kids and are single?
2) How come no expat in Colombia ever mentions Colombian churches? Are Colombian churches welcoming to foreigners? Can one find friends through them? I'm a Presbyterian. Have you ever seen a Presbyterian church in Medellin?
Hey, I might be able to help with that.
1) yes. There are lots of single women in Medellin who are older without kids. It's not the majority, but they are here.
2) there are at least two Presbyterian Churches in Medellin, but you might have trouble making friends through them unless you speak Spanish.
about churches. There are two English speaking masses in Medellin. One in Poblado and a new one in Laureles
The Single Dad Nomad: I must state that I'm really grateful for your response.
In terms of the first question, it warmed my heart to read your answer. I've never been to Colombia but have been wanting to visit for a couple of years now. Have seen countless CZcams videos on the country. However, as a single 58-year-old man who has never been married, I've always wondered how practical it is to expect to find a female friend in Colombia. Maybe there's a slim chance?
Regarding my second question, I asked because I like to go to church but it struck me that I've never heard or seen anything regarding Colombian churches from the numerous CZcams videos put out by Americans and other visiting foreigners. It's nice to know that there are at least two Presbyterian churches in Medellin. Of course, the next challenge is learning how to speak Spanish ☻. But I'm glad to get this info.
God bless you!
How To Expat: Thank you very much for letting me know about the two English-speaking masses! This is the kind of info I've been trying to get for a while. I wonder whether Colombians attend these English masses or are they mostly made up of expats? I would love to receive God's word in a Colombian church. It's always interesting to hear how others explain the Bible.
One thing I find hard to imagine is an attractive Colombian woman reaching even 40 without having a kid. It looks like women get hit on a lot. Also, doesn't the culture place a premium on motherhood (like many developing countries)?
I get a lot of a super likes on Tinder here in Medellin. I'm only 33. How worried should I be?
Follow the rules, use your common sense and you'll be fine!
very, 90% of women on tinder in colombia are prostitutes...
@@suizod when I first came to Colombia over 20 years ago....I used to laugh when older guys would tell me there were lots of prepagos here because I never got charged a dime.
Now that I'm in my late 50s I see they were right. Jajaja
Just make sure they have a cedula and you'll be fine
@@tommylee7760 i know what you mean man hahahaha... when i went to colombia for the first about 30 years ago foreigners where still exotic. in santa marta the women all wanted to a have a kid with me because of my green eyes hahahaha. once you're 50 they don't even look at you anymore unless you're paying...
It's all about the dollar.
If I was to stay for long term a guy like me im all tattooed will i be safe
Sugar What? Electric skateboard ?True love ya “ has no boundaries right ?
I am 55 year old man. I would not look for anybody less than five years younger or five years older than me. these old men that are trying to get 20 year olds deserve everything they get.
Yeah there are lots of girls here that don’t even lie about it here
I’ve wasted my time learning Spanish then 😕
The last time I was in Medellin gringos got kidnapped at a local malls and castrated!!!!
wow beautiful lady
legal 16! thanks for the info ...
What do they usually use to drug people with what is the name of the drug
Scolponamine
77 years old men search young wimen...
He's not the poor victime - saund like pure narcissism to me.
Every guy is a narcissist according to women. They learned that big word on facebook and tiktok.
I hate to be the guy who knows this, but the age of consent in Colombia is 14. Also, you can be prosecuted in the United States for sexual misconduct in another country. So if your an American 18 is your limit.
If a girl ask you for a gift and you haven’t even met her hang up change your number.! Stop being Desperate because those are the men that get ripoff!!!
I wonder why "90 Day Fiancé" doesn't mention any of these dangers...;)
do single men meet with a real guide to show them country ,thats accepted as a designated guide ?
If you get robbed by Colombian woman is your own fault. As a Hispanic American that lives in N.Y. I speak Spanish and have learned the lingo. It’s not enough to learn Spanish. When I speaking with a Colombian I say Phrases like.! Abla serio. talking seriously. Automatically they know that they aren’t talking to a normal Gringo. If you are in the area’s where theirs prostitution you got to understand that it’s dangerous in those areas.
Women love to hear “no.” Everything you think you should do, do the opposite! A man with a cell phone full of quality backup women, doesn’t get played. Ever!
very true....i've never had one girlfriend ....always two or three....and always have company when i want it....
is she single?
It all depends.... Are you a player? Or a freaking toy? LOL
I don't know why you feel sorry for these guys. They make me sick, they deserve to be ripped off. Men in their 50s would never consider having a relationship with a woman in her 70s or 80s because they would think she's an old bag. Well, that's what these men are to the yound women they're trying to seduce...OLD BAGS. GO LOOK FOR SOMEONE YOUR OWN AGE! I've been targeted by that type, hence the emotional response!
Jealousy does not look good on you... Nobody cares what you think. You are not in their relationship.
what is the best place to live in Columbia for someone with a remote job? I was thinking Cartagena or Bogota also if it matters I'm Columbian
Also, the best place to meet locals, most people don't speak English correct?
ColOmbia, not columbia
@@pixelty auto correct i live in BC but good to know you don't have a life other than correcting others spelling mistakes
@@manc3163 I apologize. Did not mean to offend you. I know how these little mobile devices behave when typing. It happens to all of us :-). I also know that many Colombians HATE this way of spelling their country's name.
How about man in colombia?
They tell you straight up they are looking for sugar
I rather be a sugar daddy than a bf or husband. Best relationship in todays world! Cash for Pleasure!
If you are white, blue-eyed and limited Spanish, you have a huge target on your back. And really, what woman is not going to take advantage of a man? Instead of a sugar Daddy, go over to El Centro to the cat houses and you can get sex for 45 mil. GF’s are no longer cost effective, especially for a guy over 50.
Some woman don’t care how old a guy is , as long if they have money , both parties are happy
Reminds me of what my paisa de Manizales me dijo "Sin plata, no hay amor." Que verdad!
in these countries, it's always about the $$$ ......if you keep them living comfortably they will love you long time....cut the money off and then you will see her true intentions......
@@spanishh2001 You may be right; probably are. But I understand and accept she would act this way. Not sure of your age, but I'm 73 and accept that a younger woman's choosing to be with me involves a choice which is justified for the financial security it may bring her...at the same time, I'm receiving a lot from her that I'd never get in my country. Seems a fair deal to me, but it's always better if the relationship is motivated by deeper things than just money, and I've experienced many that were...and a few that weren't. Love to us all.
@@spanishh2001
Which country isn’t like that?
The legal age in colombia is 14
Prostitution age of consent is actually 18 in Colombia. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_age_of_consent
And you pretty girl, you don't need a sugar daddy😘🌹👌
Thankfully I’m gay so I don’t have to worry about any of that. Lol
Don't be too sure about that. We had clients dealing with the same issues, and they were gay. Just make sure to use common sense when dating here.
Isn’t that prostitution?
I'm finding a lot of your videos are pretty negative towards Colombia.
I disagree, I feel they have a real outlook and most importantly educational 🙂
@@ExpatMoneyMoves hahaha you're obviously going to say that about someone you collaborate with in some way shape or form.
But from the videos I've watched they have all been pretty negative. Adding a slightly positive point at the end doesn't change that.
Every country has good and bad things. It's important to acknowledge both fully.
Foreigners being targeted by pretty young women is a very common thing, they often fall for it and the consequences can be extremely bad.
I don't know about other videos, but this one at the very least is completely justified.
@@BigSlimyBlob
That only happens to horny perverts trying too hard to get in bed with a younger, pretty woman. In their haste they end up in the wrong bar/neighborhood or soliciting the wrong person.
Most Colombian woman (99.9%) are honest and don’t want to take advantage of you (some are struggling financially yes, so help is appreciated)
Take it slow please
These racial combinations have the HIGHEST CHANCE of success. Please see below:
WHITE MEN are most compatible with women from:
Ukraine women
Philippines women
Thailand women
BLACK MEN are most compatible with women from:
Latin America women
South America women
Caribbean women
ALL LATINAS basically
Middle eastern women
LATINO MEN are most compatible with women from:
White american women
European women
Black women
Italian women
These racial combinations have the LOWEST chance of divorce when marrying internationally.
These are the facts....the decision is yours.
@AA 4SHAW Right 😂😂😂😂.
you are true.I like latin america women.I am Indian
I have zero sympathy for these old or young, sex tourists. They are disgusting. Congratulations to you, the Colombian smart girls. Take all the money you can.
Lol, you two are a bit confused.... who is using who? The so called older mature man with money, and experience or the younger marginalized, broke pretty Colombian woman with no resources..... rethink your strongly held views on the poor dump older expat... lol , after all who are your ( both Sam and Violeta) clients... visa vie, what dose that make you?