Trump Tweets Tough, But He's Got Nothing On Jesus
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- čas přidán 28. 05. 2024
- Though the President-Elect is adept at chastising enemies in 140 characters or less, he's about 2000 years late to the Twitter shade game.
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If you voted against Hillary, that's fine, but if you actually voted FOR Trump, you are what's wrong with this country.
Elaborate.
Your opinion means nothing Xavior. Enjoy 8 years of the God-Emperor reaming you. Signed, yet another deplorable.
God-Emperor just like Nero the Zero, lolol
Maggy Urena
He hasn't even taken the oath of office yet and he is already a more effective leader than Barry O ever was. And yes, I will use the term God-Emperor so long as it spins up assholes.
who signs a youtube comment?
"Mr. Trump, Putin is not the leader's intelligence we've been questioning". I'm done.
not the leader WHOSE intelligence* (not leader's.)
"I'm like a smart person." "I know words, I have the best words." "I know the best people, better than the ones you've heard of." "I know things other people don't know.".................... I can't believe nearly half of Americans have fallen for this kind of 7-year-old level BS!
Toad Jiang Are you really surprised?
Toad Jiang Only half of Americans voted, less than half of which voted for Trump. At best, 25 percent did. And even then, 17 percent of Trump supporters don't trust him. They really believed he was the lesser of two evils.
Ten ways to spoil dinner remember emails-emails-emails-emails...........on your plate at dinner for months until Hillary decided to hibernate in nature.
Actually trumpanzees are in the minority now.
"i love the poorly educated" sums up his win.......allow me to come off all Presidential for a sec.
#sad
"Mr. Trump. Putin is not the leader who's intelligence we've been questioning!" Enough said!!
he is a fucking mastermind ,i haven't seen a leader so calculative and dangerous since Stalin , he deserves credit for that
I haven't seen someone so dumb to compare Putin with a communist leader, since Putin is against the communist party.
+Ruvenss G Wilches
You do realize that communism isn't the only dangerous ideology, right?
Badly Drawn Turtle - Sure isn't. We've got Christianity, Islam, Catholicism, 3rd wave feminism, sjw mentality, pro-lifers, flat earthers, creationism...
StrangE2u Waterworld there have always been idiots , but never before could so many idiots connect with one other so easyly , stupidly is relative ,I'm stupid , your stupid , everyone is stupid if you look from a certain perspective , even Stephen Hawking is stupid while it comes to dancing
Trump's twitter is slowly devolving into a Putin fangirl diary.
How long before he starts linking to NSFW fanarts?
G Alad hahahaha
And soon we'll see Putin x Trump x Pence Love Triangle Fanfics
find how you liberals idiots know attack Putin and Russia back in 2012, Barack Hussein Obama even praise Putin and mitt Romney was warns Russia, and lol stupid libertads 😂😂😂
you my friend need to learn english
It shocks me how many people still take Trump seriously
Edit: obviously as President, we need to take that seriously, but with Trump it's more of a feared seriousness. This man isn't even my president, but as a Canadian citizen I am still in danger of being affected by him. But what I mean to say shocks me is the amount of people who take Donald Trump as a person seriously, as the president. To listen to him and think "that's president worthy" is what astounds me.
Republicans are retards. This has been known for decades. It's no surprise these brain dead fuckers support the orange buffoon.
It shocks me how many people like you still exist on the face of Earth.
You told him!
/s
.....I loathe people like you.
Ethan Micallef Hes our president
Did Trump just try to paraphrase "Thanks Obama" ?
If I thought he was familiar with the concept of paraphrasing, I'd say yes. As it is... could have been an epic accident? (Like his presidency.)
WASDxMerceless That's not a paraphrase, that's a yufanism
WASDxMerceless he's flipped it. With Obama it was about blaming him for bad things he had nothing to do with, for Trump it's about praising himself for good things he had nothing to do with.
borot man : A Yufa- what ?
@sagerider10 Not sure if Euphemism? xD
For a long time now I thought that. "Dubya" was the stupidest person to ever sit in the big chair. Boy, was I wrong.
Dan Boyle this guy makes GWB look like a member of the intellectual elite.
It's going to be interesting. Trump will be the first President that's never held public office or served in the US military.
Or gave a crap about anyone but himself.
Or not know anything
Oh Dan, I am watching this in May 2024. Not much change since 2017, alas.
Missed Colbert🙌
"When Donald Trump calls you out for being unethical, that's a wake-up call." :D
"He has to digest the information before he pulls it out of his ass" Great line!
When you thank your self for something you did not do. lol
Keybraker it was because of him. Consumer confidence is up
Couldn't that have been from christmas stuff?
Shamic Entertainment it's not likely.. being its the highest it has been in 15 years
I think it was meant to sound like "Thanks, Obama!", which, as most people know, was one of the most overused phrases in the last few years. :P
Wait 6 months for his budget and we will see. We are still under Obama's budget.
New Year's just started and the government is already a shit show. Gonna be a fun four years.
Well, we asked for it!
Amber Cherise The majority of Americans asked for something else. The powers that be decided to go a different route however.
Atonement for? Barack Obama has been a great president. There is nothing you can say that will convince anyone with a rational head otherwise. Sure he may have been a little naive in thinking that Republicans would work with him but everything he's done and tried to do has been for the betterment of this country.
pcbgatlas our sins included putting W in office and now putting Trump in office.
pcbgatlas well no I do not but than again find me any government whos been completely free of sin. Good Luck!
Awww, he's back!!!! MISS YOU Colbert 💗✨🌸✨
Oriolez he's been back for a while
Joshua Graham I didn't know, I just saw the videos on CZcams
Oriolez it's been awhile since the report finale
Oriolez I miss that show
Americans are in for a fun ride! You were warned though!
I feel sad for them. SAD!!! :D
They deserve it. As much as I love my American friends and family members, the just pay for the unjust. They, as a nation, need a wake up call for all their actions.
did you see greece welcoming obama. look at tat fun utube video
Thanks princess! Just worry about your privileged self and your leftist friends
teckelred It isn't a democracy at all. When 79k votes is more important than 2.8 Million it isn't called democracy. Their so called founders built the Electoral college not to have a balance. They built it because they knew that sometime in the future slaves will be free, and they didn't wanted THOSE SLAVES to dictate the outcome of an election.
Goddamn, we have such a stupid president come January 20th. LOVE!
Congratulations on that.
Nah, he's gonna be a great president.
OH THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK.
Love those two guys
we just need john oliver now
Cartman C yep, he needs to be back
Amen to that!
Ivy that's what I said lmao
When Don King becomes a spokesman for the President of your country you have to ask yourself "what the fuck just happened?"
Saying they are "Not just TV friends" is the cutest! Who wouldn't want to hang out with these two? These two would have so much they could talk about to each other. What interesting lives and professional achievements they have had.
i can't stop laughing at this!....i swear Stephen is my therapy
Stephen is on fire already! Biggest balls in all late shows. 💙
War is Peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength
Hate is Love❤️
.
I nearly lost it at the Daughter's B-Day card! *Love!* ❤️
Always able to bring in the laughs to this crazy situation. You go Colbert!
I remember seeing that stupid 'Love!' tweet and wondering how on earth someone could take the mick out of themselves that badly while being totally serious about it. Hilarious to see it in a comedy show!
Donald got that from "two Corinthians" 😂
if @realdonaldtrump was not enough, from 20th we would have @POTUS.
yup, twice the bullshit.
not bull, Orangutan-shit.
Don't underestimate Orangutans, they have ape strength.
the_dead_poet love!
the_dead_poet Maybe we need to redefine "Trump" as a synonym for shit?
Chunkboi "I gotta take a massive Trump" yea I can see that
theres so many controversies with trump i just lost track of it
Presidentarino Kripperino that's kind of why it works in his favour. People only learn this stuff through repetition. When he has a new scandal every week it means that none of it gets to really sink in or feel like a big deal. It's why something like not releasing tax returns feels like a little side bar. If Clinton had done that, nobody would even be mentioning emails, because that is so much more suspicious, but when Trump refuses to it gets like 3 days of coverage before they move onto the next thing he did.
Exactly! That's exactly how he won the Presidency.
You're just proving how brainwashed media controlled robots with no will the Americans are.
That last joke was savage... A+ for that one!
Thank God you're back Stephen! One of the only people that got us through 2016. We need you on TV everyday just to keep some sanity. Love!
The joke about having to digest the information before pulling it out of his ass had me dead 😂😂😂😂
First, he tells himself to keep calm on stage. Now he's thanking himself. Cabinet members better watch out -- he might fire them and replace them with himself.
Trump vs. Mayweather! Boy would I love to see that!!!
Mayweather with the haymaker - oh, wait, oh no, the Trump has him locked in. He has him locked in!
***** one thing's for sure: Floyd is going to need a very long shower afterwards.
shiva1008 o
shiva1008 I'd bet money on trumping winning. fo sho
Hypolite on account of him actually being a trumpl'oeil of course..he'd confuse Mayweather to death.
Fuck "LOVE!" is stuck in my head now
My days were depressing without him and now it's gonna get better, Thanks Stephen.
Whenever he comes back from a break his monologues are soooo good.
The fact that Trump called millions of Americans enemies is very troubling! Also they didn't stop the Ethics Committee dismantling because of Trump's tweet but because of thousands of phone calls from the American people! He is not against the idea he just thinks they have bad timing!
"Of course President Elect Trump defended America by supporting Russia."
You might want to check your facts. Looks like Biden is the one with ties to Russia.
Not Trump, Biden
"He needs time to digest the information before he yanks it out of his ass." PRICELESS. X'D
10:43 I literally choked on my coffee
Looking back at this, that second greeting card really IS based on a true story now...
Yaaaay! It's back!
I know, I am so happy. I hope you have are doing well. 😊
***** Me too, and my name is also Jasmine lol. Have a nice day as well. :)
Jasmine Tea that's actually really nice :)
greenthumb b Thanks, it's easy to be mean online since you don't know the person you are interacting with, so I want to be nice since I don't know what the person is going through. With that, I hope you have a nice day too. :)
Oh my god this conversation is so lovely. lol
Trump's face when Don King interrupted him was priceless.
This would be funny if it wasn't so tragic.
Trump is a real life version of Cartman.
That's funny.
Stephen Colbert is so so so good and humorous, as always. Love him.
As always, every time they ask DJT to elaborate his answer is the same, "Stay tuned. Tell you later. Etc." Just like a child.
Dear Mr. Colbert,
I wanted to thank you for your show over the past several weeks, The elections had me so utterly disenchanted as an American who served his country in a time of war and your show has allowed me to see the absolute humor behind it all. Thanks for bringing someone who is really down in the dumps some laughter during the holidays my life has been really hard but your "Like a really funny guy"
♥ I adore this show ♥ Thanks for making me laugh, your acerbic wit is the best.
the best 11 minutes of my day so far great video . how is this being allowed to happen astounds me. this is going to be fun
AWESOME! Keep the laughs coming Stephen!
Stephen went haaaard. Savage! Love!
HAPPY NEW YEAR COLDBERT!
Namida you mean warmBert
ChillBert
HotBert
Love you Stephen!! I think you're going help me get through my Trump depression!!
Sit Back and Enjoy the Ride....Just Fasten Your Seat-Belts, might be little Rough..
And ugly, ugly from the first day of office.
I'd watch yourself until March 16th. Tis when we hit the Debt Ceiling. If we default all hell could break lose.
Wouldn't be the first time lul. You guys lived thru it :D
Sheralyn Chin True but give me any republican but Trump or Pence, they will destroy so much, maybe even the world.
Philip de Ficquelmont *Chews popcorn from South East Asia as 16 March approaches. Lul.
Really excited about Trump's upcoming foolishness in the next four years even though he's not my president.
nor mine
Agreed! & we have Stephen Colbert here to make us laugh through it! Love, Stephen, love! 😂
He will be YOUR president though, so hop off the Magic School Bus and put down your coloring books.
That was brutal.
In a recent interview on CBS, you mentioned you would like to have Donald Trump on your show. I think after this monologue, I don't think it is ever going to happen. LOL Thank you for saying what a lot of us are thinking.
Donald Trump was already on the show. His second guest ever, I think
These guys gotta win best writing. Hilarious stuff.
Rolling in the new year with your amazing show! Love it, Stephen! Keep up the good work and the good show. :) Happy New Year Everyone! 🎆🎈
what flavor of sherbet is Colbert?
Not orange. Love!
Truth Hurts that's hilarious
Shit flavor because hes so full of it ask the black guy in the band hes had a taste over the holiday when he slept over at Stephens.
Stephen is so savage and I love it.
LOVE! Oh my God, I LOVE YOU, Stephen! I missed you while you were on vacation. :) So good to hear someone who is SANE. Thank you!
you got oprah? damnnnnn colbertdawggg! you go!
Think of how important punctuation is. "Trump Tweets Tough, But He's Got nothing On. Jesus!!"
So this is how liberty dies.... with thunderous applaus!
Nyt Mare yep. Perhaps he might even build a Death Star.
Well there is tons I can do, when you call me any of that. But I doubt that you understand the fundamental problem here. And I don't think I can explain it to you in a way, you would accept or understand.
You can't explain it because you are brainwashed. You keep repeating what the corrupt media is telling you, crying for safe space, hatting on people for making a reasonable decision you disagree with, but you can't explain why the liberty supposedly dying or why people voted like they did.
You are not an enlightened rebel watching the fall of the free society, you are a mindless drone brainwashed into submission by an evil and inhumane system which just took a massive hit.
Ok let me try. Trump is a demagogue. He will say anything to make the people happy. But he is the first one (I know of) to openly admit to that. And history shows, having a demagogue in power can be very dangerous. Getting rid of the ethics committee is a very dangerous move. As John Dalberg-Acton said: Absolute power corrupts absolutely. The Ethics committee is a self imposed balance to keep the people at power in check, that forces self reflection. It is basically the first line of defense for a politician to crave more power than 1 person should morally have in a democracy.
So this 'could be' the first step to remove the checks and balances in place to stop 1 person to aquire too much power. And while it could look like a desirable step in the right direction, it could also be the first step away from democracy. So maybe the GOP and Trump camouflaged this step away from demoracy towards a government controlled more by an elite or even a single person as a step towards a desireable direction. Hence the thunderous applause for the death of liberty.
(I don't know the future or the plans of the GOP or Trump, I am just saying that the obvious might be a subterfuge and it can never hurt to try to sneak a peak beyond the curtains)
Aww listening to his piano player talk about their friendship was so sweet 🖤👍
If manhattans called "the big apple". Does that make Trump tower "the big orange?"
"I know stuff about hacking" oh wow! Anonymous you're in troubles.
"And I also know things that other people don't know."
Jesus, if someone said that to me in a conversation in the real world, I probably couldn't even keep a straight face. This guy talks like a teenager trying to get out of a jam he already knows he can't get out of. But he's gonna give it a try anyway, why not?
"He needs time to digest the information, before he yanks it out of his ass" Now that's how you end a monologue !
Trump vs Mayweather! Make it happen! I'll pay to watch that!
The new amendment that Trump looks like he will pass is to make Twitter's character limit from 140 to 1400.
+Hammad Ali If that twittering twat increases Twitter's character limit to 1400, he won't be able to understand what he's supposed to be twittering about. Then he'll need a special "Twitter Translator". That's when the real fun begins !
Hammad Ali I don't think he can handle writing something that long.
He doesn't have that much stamina. It would take him an hour to send one tweet. He would also have to get every tweet approved by putin.
This is why I hate the electoral college.
Can't get rid of this pain in the pit of my stomach. Feels like Lesterland.
Dude I've missed you. *salutes with a single tear rolling down mah face* Welcome back.
Oh come on, We all know the real phrase is "If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget." It's not that hard to remember!
InnocentDoodles AAAAAHAHA! YES!
I wonder what Donald trump would do to the dog park...
Trump has no idea how ridiculous he looks and sounds does he? I suppose if he did he'd be SAD.
Legitimately heartwarming moment at the beginning!
Every tweet is different, every war is the same...It gets into your head because it is not natural. Waiting, fighting, tweeting... one of 'em is already enough to break anyone.
Colbert and Noah are back baby! WOOOOOO!
It's Cris ☺☺☺
Yes but Noah isn't funny. Bring back Jon Stewart and we'll actually have some solace.
gorginhanson What do you mean he isn't funny?!??
It's Cris I guess what I meant to say is that: he isn't funny.
gorginhanson Whatever you say man
Please, if those cards are not already real, someone make them. PLEASE I NEED THEM
To tell your daughter that she's hot?
"He needs time to digest the information before he yanks it out of his Ass"
I'm dieing xD
Attorney's also are allowed to investigate themselves--equally stupid.
Anytime someone rips on Donald Trump, an angel gets their wings. Love!
He has to be drunk when he's tweeting some of these things
Peasants For Plutocrats more like a fetus.
Chunkboi not smart enough.
Peasants For Plutocrats a virus.
Ghetis 396, *normal* people would have to be drunk to tweet some of those things....
he's not normal!
Ghetis 396 didn't he claim to be a teetotaller though?
Oh how I missed Stephen over Christmas :D He's now funnier than before!
I'm just dying here at the appearance of Don King XD
So, anonymous tips don't count, but anonymous votes do? Nice hypocrisy. How is it even constitutional for congress to vote anonymously?
I know this one is old but I had to watch it just because the thumbnail is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.
Ah U.S. Congress... The descent into darkness continues!
Trump telling us about ethics ?. That's like the hunchback of not Notre Dame telling you to sit up straight .
Seems like true misery brings the best comedic material. Bush era brought the best outta these guys. Good thing atleast we will have comedy for the next 4 years or more....or less???
Well, until the President-elect tries to arrest/sue him into the ground. My money is that he's going to go after Trevor Noah first, then Samantha Bee, then Bill Maher, then Stephen, then John Oliver. #StaystrongStephen
Don't forget Seth Meyers, dropping those truth bombs on network television.
Shelly Mathews that's the one good thing that'll come out if this, also some good music
"Mr Trump it is not Putin intelligence what we've been questioning, we know he's smart"
Those cards are hilarious lol😂
that last part had me dead 💀💀💀
Trump is such a boss. He's running the world via Twitter from his Golden duke throne.
The US is not the world buddy. Worth keeping in mind.
rocker4577 That's part of the obnoxious conservative mindset; that we Americans are the best at everything and run the world. Don't try to burst that bubble. How dare you! :o)
Yeah, some on the fringes do but empathetic people (liberals) see nuance. They have empathy for everyone not just their "tribe". They care about the environment and the future and not just an "I'm gonna get mine" attitude. They realize that the world is imperfect but try to make it better. Don't get me started. This could go on for days but, I know, you don't give a shit. You're a conservative.
He is tweeting from his shitty toilet. Which is a lot more fitting for such a turd.
Vincent Kennedy McMahon Who gives a shit, hes still an asshole.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known
Nothing you can see that isn't shown
There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be
It's easy
All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need
May be Donald Trump was thanking Donald Duck! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
This is the funniest talk show intro I've seen since the election started