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This is Not Love.

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  • čas přidán 17. 06. 2024
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Komentáře • 165

  • @jeffreyjackson5229
    @jeffreyjackson5229 Před 2 měsíci +102

    They would rather control you than love you.

  • @sommesoul33
    @sommesoul33 Před 2 měsíci +101

    They even laugh at you when you are upset or they are all composed and no compassion.

    • @PassionateFlower
      @PassionateFlower Před 2 měsíci +11

      As I cried and panicked at his wild and untrue accusations trying to escape his scathing character assassination of me over the phone, mine openly mocked me, in a high pitch obnoxious voice going, "Mnew new nah nanernaah" as though he was a 6 year old boy picking on a girl in the sandbox for crying because he stole her shovel, and not a 42 year old 6 foot one 250 lb grown adult man engaging in what should have been mature conflict resolution with me his girlfriend and he was working for Comcast as an engineering supervisor and being a 3rd infantry division Iraq war veteran hero and former mayor and former city council member of his hometown and uncle to his nieces and nephews and talented drummer and practically the unofficial go-to personal trainer buddy for people at his gym.
      But there he was, on the other end of the phone line, the man who said he loved me, mocking me, like a childhood bully on a schoolyard playground after baiting me and antagonizing me until I just completely broke down. Sick. He's a sick person. Just vile.

    • @sommesoul33
      @sommesoul33 Před 2 měsíci +6

      @@PassionateFlower they have mocked me too. I have had a lot of male and female narcs do it to me. Parents, partners (when they became exes), bosses, partners of parents and strangers on the internet etc. Its awful. I wish none of these sort of people were in this world as it would be a better place.

    • @Alabaster12994
      @Alabaster12994 Před 2 měsíci +6

      It is just sadistic

    • @user-zh5fh2li9u
      @user-zh5fh2li9u Před měsícem +4

      That is sadism....and when that happends...time to end the relationship !

    • @tpolishgal
      @tpolishgal Před měsícem +1

      ​@@PassionateFlower Hugs to you. 🤗 I know exactly how you feel.

  • @zoilarobledo8135
    @zoilarobledo8135 Před 2 měsíci +82

    I've experienced this a few times, from a few different narcissists. I could never understand why they had no remorse, no compassion....and NO LOVE. Now I know they never really loved me.

    • @JKDVIPER
      @JKDVIPER Před 2 měsíci

      Because life to them... is a deal. Somebody so concerned with his or her image, that facts go out the window. ❤and as you know, I’m sure of it, they cheat the emotion. They steal our good feelings. They smuggle negativity, traffic in every kind of vice, make every demand, and most definitely think they are the smartest person in the room. So with all those to contend with AND MORE, that’s how they look like they have no love. As far as I know, they can only experience a taste of love, because with all those insecurities, the boundaries they have are unimaginable. ❤😂you know what I mean. They have the most needs, wants, desires, and DESERVES.” 😬🤟💯

  • @GreenTea3699
    @GreenTea3699 Před 2 měsíci +32

    And they only get worse as they get older...

  • @jeffreyjackson5229
    @jeffreyjackson5229 Před 2 měsíci +46

    They will not change no matter what you do for them. I have seen it with my own eyes.

    • @michellegaines3568
      @michellegaines3568 Před 2 měsíci +7

      I agree 💯 percent ❤❤❤❤❤

    • @chrisantoniou4366
      @chrisantoniou4366 Před měsícem +2

      Not quite true... the more you comply with what they want, the more they want, and the nastier they get if they don't get their way.

  • @lori-annefay4138
    @lori-annefay4138 Před 2 měsíci +28

    ABSOLUTELY! You are better off without them in your life.

  • @louisehroncich281
    @louisehroncich281 Před 2 měsíci +33

    More and more people these days are loving that darkness your talking about. It is so rampant there are no kind people anymore.

  • @yinyangphoenix
    @yinyangphoenix Před 2 měsíci +30

    Perfect description of emotional sadism.

  • @alimccreery755
    @alimccreery755 Před 2 měsíci +26

    The only changes I saw from the abusers was what worked on me to further traumatize me so that I could give them what they wanted. That’s the name of the game when it comes to abusers.

  • @SLLiberty23
    @SLLiberty23 Před 2 měsíci +44

    This evoked pain in my heart….the essence of this evil. They are not love. God is Love ❤️. They are counterfeit, liars 🖤.

  • @stevengalindo7932
    @stevengalindo7932 Před 2 měsíci +18

    It must be a power trip for the narc to know their words are so powerful they can make you break down and cry. My dad did that to My mom, and my older brother treated his wife the same way. You are right, Jill. It is not love. It is power and control.

  • @terrystout9969
    @terrystout9969 Před 2 měsíci +17

    That's when i just leave with no contact

    • @conniepfannerstill817
      @conniepfannerstill817 Před měsícem

      Good for you. My Mom is 89 and is a narcissist. She is developing health problems and dementia. I told my brother she is now his responsibility as I am severely disabled. His wife is not happy as I helped her my entire life. Too bad. 🤨😒. I took care of my Dad when he was dying of cancer and when he died I was told I , as a nurse was unreliable. Took her and my Dad to every MD appointment and every chemo appointment. Just tired of the BS. I had severe health problems during that time and my husband worked 3 jobs so we cd pay our bills. My Moms comment was “ not my issue”.

  • @csh43166
    @csh43166 Před 2 měsíci +21

    Cruel and dark - yes... 😞😢

  • @YBSolow
    @YBSolow Před 2 měsíci +32

    I've seen it. And all they said was "I don't remember that happening".
    Sure you dont...

  • @user-qv9nw1dq2f
    @user-qv9nw1dq2f Před 2 měsíci +11

    True. That is not love but evil.

  • @danarchambault8723
    @danarchambault8723 Před 2 měsíci +48

    They smiled after severe emotional abuse

  • @mama7464s
    @mama7464s Před 2 měsíci +14

    I'm SO BLESSED!!! My husband's parents were both narcissistic, so he learned a lot of behaviors from them. But he HAS changed from watching me cry, and in all the best ways! At first I was worried he was a narcissist too, but fortunately, he's not and he's proving it more every day!!!

    • @beaglerescue5281
      @beaglerescue5281 Před 2 měsíci +5

      My husband also had narcissistic tendencies but after 40 years of marriage he has changed also.
      Now we are struggling with a covert narcissist daughter who is much worse. You just don’t want to give up on your own child. I’ve been discarded and plan to use the separation to heal. I pray for her everyday for God’s mercy to heal her and our family.

    • @balanced4harvest552
      @balanced4harvest552 Před měsícem +2

      ​@@beaglerescue5281
      She can be Delivered, if she seeks Repentance, and the Spirit of Reconciliation!

    • @beaglerescue5281
      @beaglerescue5281 Před měsícem

      @@balanced4harvest552 I pray for her everyday. I’m encouraged by the mother and a father who begged Christ to heal their demon possessed children.

  • @hurricaneaquatics
    @hurricaneaquatics Před 2 měsíci +8

    💯 Take it from me, 28 years married to a female narcissist. It was so hard for me to come to terms with. I couldnt understand how a human being could take vows and be so cruel. This video is spot on. They're truly evil.

    • @paulwisdom1090
      @paulwisdom1090 Před měsícem

      I hear you, was married to a female narcissist for 3 1/2 years but knew each other for 8 years total. I knew something was off the whole time from the beginning, but I just thought maybe she's just not perfect. Until things went from good to bad to worse and when I called her out on her behaviour and called her a narcissist she showed this raging demonic devilish face 😈 was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in a human and couldn't unsee it!! I couldn't understand just like you said how someone could take vows and come all this way just to be soo cruel and downright disgusting!!!?!! Psychosis

  • @visitorcat9153
    @visitorcat9153 Před 2 měsíci +5

    I cut contact because someone who doesn’t want good for me is a nobody. When the abuse occurs within a narcissistic family system, the scapegoat's brain is wired in a self defeating mode. The target of family abuse becomes a people pleaser to survive, then attracts more toxic people in the outside world because of poor boundaries. It's like a puppy who does not receive safe nurturing in their first months of life.

  • @jasonjones4492
    @jasonjones4492 Před 2 měsíci +12

    I dont think they are even capable of expressing real feelings you never know what their true motives are for behaiving the way that they do!
    Thank you for sharing Jill.😋

  • @louisemccoy9410
    @louisemccoy9410 Před 2 měsíci +3

    That was my mother...she was a pain inflicter and found pleasure in hurting people !! I had to separate and ignore her !!

  • @noormohamed2991
    @noormohamed2991 Před měsícem +4

    You are so right! That is not and can never be Love! Spot on…thank you xx Love is kind and compassionate!❤ Love heals…Love does not inflict scars…

  • @jkevinparker
    @jkevinparker Před měsícem +1

    The way my covert narcissist wife just sat there expressionless when I announced to our kids we were divorcing and WE all cried our eyes out… but zero expression or comfort even to the kids… 😳 BUT my kids will never forget that about her.

  • @markcahoon2534
    @markcahoon2534 Před měsícem +3

    They are incredibly cruel for demons with a very fragile ego.

  • @Beat909
    @Beat909 Před 2 měsíci +7

    I had a friend who betrayed me. We " reconciled" but the deceit still hurt
    When I cried. I told him that I cried and his response " I have a better perspective now". Really??

  • @christinehayes1475
    @christinehayes1475 Před 2 měsíci +4

    I found that out the hard way...years lost...I now pray God will have mercy on his soul for what he did to me.

  • @user-im8xw6xh1l
    @user-im8xw6xh1l Před měsícem +2

    My own narc parents actually screamed at me while having a seizure from a prescription drug withdrawal. Then a few weeks later my mother mocked me having one. Despicable. NO CONTACT IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER! 😊

    • @paulwisdom1090
      @paulwisdom1090 Před měsícem

      Omg!!!!! Seizures are nothing to play around with and your own parents could do such a thing???!!!!! Wow, you better go no contact and block them on everything and get as far away from them as possible!!! That's the devil 👿

  • @ziggyvonmars
    @ziggyvonmars Před měsícem +1

    Yep!! They get their kicks from it. They say all the right words with ZERO intentions of changing.

  • @Teddybeloved
    @Teddybeloved Před 2 měsíci +4

    My mom did that and mimicked the day I had shingles, and I was appalled she would go so far as to emulate the worst pain of my life.

    • @tpolishgal
      @tpolishgal Před měsícem +1

      Awww, I hope you are feeling better.

  • @randybrinkman-do4xf
    @randybrinkman-do4xf Před 2 měsíci +3

    Not a thing nope , there are those with no Love in them ! They cannot love , nor recieve it !

  • @user-em8on8py9z
    @user-em8on8py9z Před měsícem +3

    Its the definition of evil.

  • @helenarubio3371
    @helenarubio3371 Před 2 měsíci +5

    Sad but true

  • @PatriciaCrump-jb6xy
    @PatriciaCrump-jb6xy Před 2 měsíci +9

    That's what I experienced. That's why I left. His attitude was wierd....

  • @Melva-Tjong
    @Melva-Tjong Před 2 měsíci +3

    You can’t be more accurate, it is the bottom line.

  • @Leaptab
    @Leaptab Před měsícem +2

    When i told my mother i was feeling suicidal on my birthday because of her abuse and mistreatment, and she did and said nothing, i knew it was over.

    • @tpolishgal
      @tpolishgal Před měsícem +1

      Omg 😳, that is awful. I hope you are feeling better. ❤

  • @Jetmab04
    @Jetmab04 Před 2 měsíci +6

    Spot on 🌹🌹🌹! !!

  • @JamesScott-uc9qr
    @JamesScott-uc9qr Před měsícem +1

    Absolutely, SO VERY TRUE
    Better OFF without THEM in LIFE..
    THANK YOU' BIG TIME 🗣️💨💖👏👏

  • @paulcarter8705
    @paulcarter8705 Před měsícem +1

    Yeah, been there and I broke down and cried in front of her and my kids through her bullying me and tormenting me!
    Her response was
    Do you realise How pathetic you are”
    No empathy just vicious!
    This is not love
    I’ve moved on now and I’ve been through the Stalking & Hoovering phase
    But I’d never go back
    Still carry the emotional scars but I’m getting stronger everyday without her in my life 😊

  • @Musicalwhispers03
    @Musicalwhispers03 Před měsícem +1

    The going back and fourth was what got to me ,the uncertainty of my heart. I understand everyone's thoughts, i just believe in God and theres nothing he cant change. Its a sad day for me in a beautiful place and doing better things and realizing you may not be able to share this with your spouse. Prayers for everyone dealing with this process . May the lord comfort and help our hearts to heal.

  • @octoberdawn1087
    @octoberdawn1087 Před měsícem +3

    My tears made his eyes sparkle. It was awful.

    • @19783008ful
      @19783008ful Před měsícem +1

      Omg that's sick 😫 horrible 😮

    • @tpolishgal
      @tpolishgal Před měsícem +1

      😢 I got the smirk as if he enjoyed every second of it.

  • @Angelaangelat
    @Angelaangelat Před měsícem +1

    They sometimes change for a short time, but revert right back to their usual harmful behavior.

  • @PassionateFlower
    @PassionateFlower Před 2 měsíci +3

    Yes💔Can confirm this is 100% true unfortunately😿❤️‍🩹

  • @Enorytl4
    @Enorytl4 Před měsícem +2

    They are pure evil.

  • @Moose74491
    @Moose74491 Před měsícem

    Oh I was yelled at, “CALL YOUR FING MOMMA!!!” when I would be in the corner of the room crying.

  • @JKDVIPER
    @JKDVIPER Před 2 měsíci +3

    Ya that’s bazar. 🤢you’d think some of them would realize it eventually. But no. It goes on. The no love thing I was telling one of the patrons here, all those insecurities and preoccupation with SELF, that grandiose entitlement, and the MEGA BOUNDARIES, it’s no wonder they can’t truly love. 😎🤟💯

    • @JKDVIPER
      @JKDVIPER Před 2 měsíci

      I get the most nervous on your site because I do take it seriously. I try not to be obsessed by it, but these sites help us deal with resentments. Very healthy exchange here.” 😉🙏💯

  • @sinjinmonsoon9055
    @sinjinmonsoon9055 Před 2 měsíci +3

    You're exactly right. And you look fab 😊

  • @paulk6077
    @paulk6077 Před 2 měsíci +4

    Sometime crocodile tears. Mine would cry if she didn't get her way plus more. She would cry to punish others. Then a satan voice would come out. So how do you determine an act from reality.
    Mine would cry if you said hello wrong ?

  • @bewarefalsenonprofits
    @bewarefalsenonprofits Před měsícem

    TY for keeping it real. I'm so glad I got to calmly tell my EX mother ( narcissist, alcoholic, schizophrenic, Sleestack and worse,.to her face before I went NC with the family of vipers THAT : " Just like the blues song lyrics go, " IF that's what you call love you can keep it to yourselves."

  • @itziaVR
    @itziaVR Před 2 měsíci +2

    My mother says I'm trying to manipulate her when i cried because she was emotionally neglecting me 🙄

  • @filizjohnson2059
    @filizjohnson2059 Před měsícem

    My husband watched my 9 year old son Oliver take his last breath in my arms after fighting cancer a month later whilst trying to break up a fight between him and his sister he punched me around the face, last year after going to a san smith concert ( Oliver loved Sam) with my then 16 and 14 year old he knocked me in my stomach where I had to shout and remind him I was pregnant and that’s how my other children found out, I have lived through so many years of abuse mental and emotion physical abuse my children been treated the worse and that’s after losing my son, he still to this day tells me the mother of Oliver it was hard for him when Oliver passed. I gave my faith to god and I left him two months ago

  • @jmwoods190
    @jmwoods190 Před 2 měsíci +5

    My mother & brother in a nutshell unfortunately

  • @jeffreyjackson5229
    @jeffreyjackson5229 Před 2 měsíci +6

    Well put. 👍

  • @allekramuomizt1848
    @allekramuomizt1848 Před měsícem +1

    Dark and cruel is what it is!

  • @phoenixrisin2269
    @phoenixrisin2269 Před 2 měsíci +5

    They are sub humans

  • @emmajean-ub6sh
    @emmajean-ub6sh Před měsícem +1

    Needed to see this. It’s so hard letting go.

  • @Maudiedrake
    @Maudiedrake Před měsícem +1

    Because they don't love themselves! That's straight up demonic spirits! You have to love God, yourself then it spreads abroad!!!❤❤❤❤

  • @ByronRainer-AMG
    @ByronRainer-AMG Před měsícem

    Thank you fir sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us. Stay beautiful.

  • @katemizu
    @katemizu Před měsícem

    This is my ex-husband. Your channel inspired me and gave me the strength to divorce. Thank you Jill!

  • @franksimmons9242
    @franksimmons9242 Před 2 měsíci

    Helps understand the violent reaction I got once from the X when I told her I loved her, looking back she knew she was unlovable.
    Never happened again

  • @Sandra-jo1lj
    @Sandra-jo1lj Před měsícem

    The whole time, I changed for everyone. I wanted to be better for my kids and I because I felt off. I always wanted to show up for my family and friends. I realized I was the only one putting in a team effort 🚶‍➡️🚶‍➡️🚶‍➡️

  • @mariafemarquezdeguia4431
    @mariafemarquezdeguia4431 Před měsícem

    Such a painful truth!

  • @bonnieromick9397
    @bonnieromick9397 Před měsícem +1

    Amen

  • @kelly450
    @kelly450 Před měsícem

    That's PURE HATRED...☠️💀

  • @user-jc1jb4ku1m
    @user-jc1jb4ku1m Před měsícem

    Yes, ex-wife with a very cold heart. Get thee behind me, Satan!

  • @user-tc4ry5oo7k
    @user-tc4ry5oo7k Před 2 měsíci

    This is exactly my sister!

  • @Becca0082
    @Becca0082 Před měsícem

    I experienced this with my parents.
    They told me though, they can't handle to see me going through trials. These trials I brought on myself. Mind you, it was a God fearing man who i married and he just passed away. They had no sympathy for me because they didn't agree with me choosing him therefore I brought it on myself to be alone in this..... 😮
    They are there when it's convenient though and think I need saving

    • @tpolishgal
      @tpolishgal Před měsícem +1

      I am so sorry for your loss. 😢 You had real love. God has your back.

  • @santoparfano1910
    @santoparfano1910 Před 13 dny

    Very true. My narc..she literally flirted with another guy on front of me at an event. And she literally was eye f$cking this guy the entire night. I made sure i was seeing exactly what i thought i was seeing and it was. I wont go into the arousal cues she had whole oogling. My marriage ended that night in my eyes bc if how embarrassing it was..the betrayal and disrespect. Later, i brought it up and she absolutely denied it all like she always does...surprise, surprise. I told her if she could look at that dude the way she did, she has been cheating and/or could cheat. Im not an emotional guy unless its a really really bad situation...i began to break down as i told her how what she did hurt like hell and watching her do this destroyed trust, and my commitment. She didnt respond...at all. She continued to do things to try to get to me. Ive been planning my exit ever since. I want ME back...the dude who would have walked at just one behavior infraction/disrespect shes done. She wore me down over many years. God bless...

  • @pamelakelley-hj3wi
    @pamelakelley-hj3wi Před 2 měsíci +1

    He would just look at me like I didn’t do this no comforting me nothing like completely unemotional. I later found out he had been cheating on me at the very place we were

    • @19783008ful
      @19783008ful Před měsícem +1

      That is terrible. I've had that too. I don't know if they've cheated, but last yr I saw emails of them chatting in emails to a few 3 yrs ago when I saw them they few wks, they said it was nothing & they were joking with them. Yea right

  • @jonathancasavant7541
    @jonathancasavant7541 Před 2 měsíci

    On the other hand I have watched a narcissistic person cry from a pity party and have shown no emotion whatsoever cause of all they put me through hope doesn’t make me a bad character but I just couldn’t

  • @ericleonharris3827
    @ericleonharris3827 Před 2 měsíci

    Narcissism is the flower on a dandelion. The weed root is sin which is an assault on your Creator. God is love, but I don't ever hear much about that from internet Narcissism gurus.

  • @sonjabrady1032
    @sonjabrady1032 Před 2 měsíci +1

    NEVER EVEN ASK ANY QUESTIONS ⁉️

  • @Tanz-og6yh
    @Tanz-og6yh Před měsícem

    Learnt this the cruelest, hardest way

  • @daniporter413
    @daniporter413 Před měsícem

    Yep.

  • @lillie9641
    @lillie9641 Před 2 měsíci

    Thank you for this ❤

  • @carolnahigian9518
    @carolnahigian9518 Před měsícem

    mom- Dad-brothers& Sister; you just DESCRIBED... toxic very Toxic folk

  • @diansimpson2839
    @diansimpson2839 Před měsícem

    Totally 💯 agree

  • @hewadschannell812
    @hewadschannell812 Před měsícem

    Thank you Amen

  • @foureyedchick
    @foureyedchick Před měsícem

    Lady, those black men's frames are lovely !

  • @michaelcartwright3327
    @michaelcartwright3327 Před měsícem

    Love, doesnt even cross there mind,most Evil

  • @Costa-u3y
    @Costa-u3y Před 16 dny

    Even though I know what they are… it still leaves me speechless. Inhuman is the only thing I can say.

  • @soulglory6696
    @soulglory6696 Před 2 měsíci +1

    Describes my daughter.

  • @jeanettelove8490
    @jeanettelove8490 Před měsícem

    So true ❤

  • @johnniepatrick6537
    @johnniepatrick6537 Před 2 měsíci

    That’s my adult children.

  • @tonightinareacode309
    @tonightinareacode309 Před měsícem

    Women cry fake tears sometimes to emotionally manipulate people. Just because someone is crying doesn't mean it's real.

  • @allp5347
    @allp5347 Před měsícem

    Baby mama,,, yeah,,, two years later ,,, I was the love of her life again! That was 10 years ago! Mmm , that was a tough lesson!

  • @user-kg4hr1cw5l
    @user-kg4hr1cw5l Před měsícem

    Yes it is

  • @ND-or5so
    @ND-or5so Před měsícem

    So true

  • @sandymoorebrown7206
    @sandymoorebrown7206 Před měsícem

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
    THANK YOU!! THAT IS NOT LOVE
    WOW!!! THANKS FOR SHARING!!
    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @jinxmix5295
    @jinxmix5295 Před měsícem

    That hurt so gd thank u

  • @dianaBryant-vk6wp
    @dianaBryant-vk6wp Před měsícem

    On spot❤

  • @maryhawkins3399
    @maryhawkins3399 Před 10 dny

    🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

  • @AntonioFlores-be1jo
    @AntonioFlores-be1jo Před 2 měsíci

    Thank u

  • @user-rj9yz3mr9o
    @user-rj9yz3mr9o Před 2 měsíci +3

    🕯️🕯️🕯️☀️

  • @karenholtzclaw3135
    @karenholtzclaw3135 Před měsícem

    Learned that

  • @pattyloza-gonzalez520
    @pattyloza-gonzalez520 Před měsícem

    100% !!

  • @Potato-fv9ns
    @Potato-fv9ns Před 2 měsíci +2

    It's abuse

  • @jerry9858
    @jerry9858 Před měsícem

    I'm going to get Divine Justice money highest God nobody in Tennessee going to blame me for the justice it is coming to them treating a human like that like this your car behind the scene I don't know everyone of them that went up against me evenly

  • @marialunsford8308
    @marialunsford8308 Před měsícem

    👏👏👏👏👏👏

  • @GloriaAvishai
    @GloriaAvishai Před měsícem

    Too many people and money

  • @LRS11B
    @LRS11B Před měsícem

    My father did