Most Epic Drunken Fails in History
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- čas přidán 21. 05. 2024
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Here in America. Breathalyzer test doesn't matter. They just want your DNA. It's up to the arresting officer opinion. You're going to jail no matter what you blow.
When does the episode start? After 10 or 20 minutes? It used to be a 15 min episode now it's a 5 min episode extended to 60 minutes. Is this the history channel?
No.
Simon turned into a Canadian temporarily
He's not your pal buddy
So glad someone said it😂😂
I’m not your pal, friend.
This is not tradition.. not traditional at all.
I'm not your friend, Buddy!
There was actually another entry on this script that never made it to production. If there is enough interest, I’ll find somewhere to publish it :-)
I'll try to jump in on one of the lives some time although they are quite a bad time for me as I’m in the Northwest US. But keep doing what you you are doing brother. I'm also blind and it is rather cool seeing what you are doing for Simon. Is there a way to reach you on an idea? You've actually encouraged me to start working on a project of my own and one that I think you'd appreciate especially being blind. But I do not want to talk about it publically because as far as I know nobody on CZcams is doing this idea yet. Its already in the starting stages and filming will be starting for the first few episodes in July. But I’d like to get feedback from someone who works around CZcams consistently to see if you have ideas or changes to add
I love your writing on the casual criminalist!
Dave, you definately need to listen to more American comedy shows. The U.S has way too many sarcastic phrases to be considered sarcasm-impaired. (especially in the south, with its "southern hospitality") I recommend Blue Collar Comedy as a research source.
@@Vaeldargthe problem is there are far too many people who read or hear subtle sarcasm and take it far too seriously. Sarcasm is "natural" for me and I spend more time than I like explaining to people that I was kidding and what I meant. Another chunk of time is spent laughing at comments that everyone else took seriously.
@@Vaeldarg Someone who thinks that America doesn’t have sarcasm has clearly never been in New England.
South Park Canadian Simon is cursed and I’m here for it.
yes exactly.
High tech animation, almost lifelike, for canada
As a Canadian I must say I truly loved it
I'm glad we were given a heads up before it happened I would have freaked out
Nightmare fuel even... 🫣
The correct response to "Do you know who I am?" is "I'm so sorry, are you suffering from amnesia?"
Funniest i saw was the cop answering
"That is something that would be on the Drivers licence"
Or simply "I don't care."
Well either I don’t know you are or i do and I still don’t care!
Epic
“She’s old but quite desirable”
Sounds like me trying to sell my 200,000 mile Subaru
Could be worse, could be "She's well worn but quite desirable"
But it’s actually true about a Subaru! LOL!!! Miss mine so very much and would love to have one again, especially a low mileage one with a mere 200,000 miles on it. 🥰
I know you are lying because Subarus will leak all of their oil and seize up at 100,000 miles.
"Is this still available"
Lol. Or my XJ.
I love *overly caffeinated Simon* he’s almost as good as *unnecessarily enraged Simon*
Yes... Caffeine...
I want some friends with the same relationship like Simon has with his writers.
Like “we’re cool and all-but let’s never hang out” 😂👌🏻
No need to hang out - they're locked up in the basement
@@richardvanderlaak826 the Blaze-ment
They're the best friends
You should the Live blazes. Simon is trying to meet up with Liam and Dave.
The boys are trying to meet up for a pint 🍺
I was not prepared for Canadian Simon.
Yet we want more!
Someone who works in hotels was telling me recently that it is *astonishing* how frequently people lock themselves out of their hotel rooms naked in the middle of the night.
It’s also astonishing how many affairs you witness. xD
Only once, in Scranton, Pa. And once Barefoot with shorts on in Lax Vegas.
I got locked out on my balcony, naked. 😬 The maintenance man had to come let me back in. I wanted to jump off.
What's more astonishing is how infrequently you hear about it, which speaks of exemplary maid service.
I work Security at a resort in a big tourism city, and let me tell you there is what we call "good naked" and "Bad naked"; usually its bad naked.
The day I started, a guy went behind the front desk and removed his trunks before leaving. He had lost his key.
Another time more recently we had college frat guests on premises, and a Girl twerked pant less.
Alcohol usually is the contributing factor. But not always. But that's just two of many.
Simon just teasing everyone with the casual criminalist notebook
Canadian Fact Boi AI will be a great way to pay off Simon's great-grandchildren's gambling debts.
I had a drunken fail once. After realising my friend was sleeping three floors below me I climbed out of 6th story hotel window and then entered through his window with a sort of “ta da” vibe. Unfortunately my friend was asleep and also very drunk and assumed I had just been there all night…
Lol nice
my most epic drunken fail (after many many mixed drinks) was at a bar. A couple was drinking at the next table and the lady leaned over on me. Her boyfriend, also quite sloshed, rather than getting all uppity proudly proclaimed "that's my girlfriend".
In a burst of creativity and boldness, I responded "what. do you want to share her with us?"
Needless to say, my two friends who I had been drinking with were incredibly shocked, while the couple were so confused they left
Drunken humble brag 😂👍🏻
I think Dave has actually told the story about his brother before on one of the live episodes!
Excellent as always. Always love a Dave script!
Yeah, simon told the story in a live episode. I did say spoiler a lot at the time :-)
@@blinddave8328OMG. How'd you manage to get a phone smuggled into the Basement?
I assumed the writers had to use Encarta or some physical encyclopedia set.
At the very least I thought you'd be sequestered behind some "parental filter" software... or a literal fire-wall!
They're going to escape and we'll lose our content D:
Seriously though, I love your work ❤
@@Trogrammingnah, Simon wants them churning out scripts, which requires internet access. The Blazement has the best internet connection around...it just doesn't have a door.
Not Dave’s joke about Reese Witherspoon and Gwyneth Paltrow going right over Simon’s head 😂
Not sure about Simon, but Dave can't see sarcasm.
A true or false themed episode this is fantastic day.
"Awkward encounter with their potential in-laws" made me flashback to my first sleepover at my BF's parent's house. We were back at our respective parent's houses from college for the summer, and I was giving him something to remember since we were now a few hours apart. So, he took a "fun" polaroid of me and hid it behind something on his wall and he forgot to grab it when left for his last semester of college. We then moved across the country together a few months later... so his parents packed his room up...and I still don't know which one of them was treated to an eyeful when the photo fluttered down. Man, he is lucky I keep blocking out that memory and still married him.
My moneys on the Dad... The mum would've probably returned it to you...Dad however probably still has it knocking around 😆
I was not prepared for Canadian Simon
He needs to work on the accent
Yes! I love these! The dilemma is to watch it by myself or wait to watch with my husband. Or watch and then impress him with my guessing skills😅
That’s a great idea I’m doing this now thank you!😆
Gotta sprinkle in one mistake though to make it more believable 👍🏻
I want Canadian Simon all the time! As long as the editors have time, of course! Excellent addition to the show, and can make up for the loss of "Bada bum bum tsssss" and "Am I right, Petah?"
LOVE that bit from Hellsing Abridged! Class editing as always!
Favourite quote from this episode: “I know Lily Allen. She sings music.”
Holy shit this episode is scuffed with that floating head. Thanks Julian/ Editor, I love it
Many of us Americans can understand sarcasm, but the thing to remember is that a much higher proportion of us than the rest of the Anglo-sphere are very, very stupid, which can skew the results. When I attempt dry sarcasm, often people just take me at face value or think I’m a lying asshole (and I am, so this can further complicate things).
I remember the Reese story. Before you even start, I’m pretty sure she goes on a drunken rant of “do you know who I am?” 😆
12:50 We need to keep the sound Simon makes and put it on a short video of a motorbike revving its engine at a set of traffic lights.
This is the most underrated comment ever. You have my word as an editor that this will one day, possibly, maybe, kinda become a thing. Unless I forget.
🤣 Talkeetna is a drinking town with a climbing problem! Generally you have to worry more about drunk moose in Alaska than drunk bears.😂
I was neither drunk nor naked, but I once locked myself out of a hotel room while on a business trip. I don't recall why, but I had stepped out of the door in my sweats. As soon as I heard the "click" I knew I was screwed. I went down to the front desk, explained the issue and was told "No problem! All I need is your ID." which, naturally, was in my room. They had to go with me to the room, where I could produce the ID. All ended well, but I made damned sure I never opened a hotel room door again unless the room key was in my hand or pocket.
Your sarcasm is not lost on all the colonist. 😂😂
It's a bad idea to mess with a bear, it's an especially bad idea to mess with a drunk bear.
Any time one of Simon's editors throws in a Team Four Star clip is always a pleasant little treat.
Keep up the great work, y'all.
I've always wanted to see someone during a traffic stop yell "DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?!?!"
Who do you think you are? I AM!!!
The tangent cam has me dying 😂😂😂 this needs to continue 😂😂😂
Holy. Fucking. Shit. The animated head asides got me.
Tears of joy. *chefs kiss*
This editor deserves a raise. Or at the LEAST heaps of praise.
I wonder how many medieval soldiers went into battle drunk af
Most of them actually. It's not called liquid courage for no reason.
@@OGNibblybitsplus most of what they drank was alcoholic lol (mead, ale, etc)
How else do you get somebody to sacrifice?Their lives for somebody richards and them getting drunk and high on drugs
Water wasn't safe, so i can imagine tolerance was pretty high. Not clear headed, but fairly acclimated to having a certain BAL.
Wake up super hungover, no idea what happened or how you survived, did the whole two day battle blacked out drunk, and don’t remember being the hero that everyone is celebrating 😂
oh, please please please make this the permanent tangent cam!
Simon please give this wonderful slave-I mean editor deserves a raise! I was laughing so hard I freaked my dog out when the camera went out
24:36 Nice call, Brain Boy!!
[I'm trying to decide whether I'm more impressed with your feat of prediction, or with Dave's ability to make a good anagram of Totally Fictitious Person]
Brain blaze drinking game:
1. One shot per tangent minute.
2. One shot when Simon says “… and I, same page”.
3. One shot per “am I RIGHT PETER”.
4. One shot per Siri not working.
5. One shot per question asked at ChatGPT.
6. One shot when Simon says “amount of times I’ve …., amount of times I’ve ….. f’ing ZERO.
7. One shot when Simon explains that Dave is blind.
8. One shot per 5 vintage memes. (Extra shot if it is, “joke’s on you, I’m in to that sh!t”)
9. One shot if an intro is longer than 5 minutes.
10. One shot per Simon mentioning he has other channels.
11. One shot per Simon calling it “business blaze” instead of “brain blaze”.
12. One shot per Simon telling what he has been, or is gonna be, eating or drinking that day.
13. One shot per Simon sh!tting on Raid shadow legends.
14. One shot per Simon telling that he is doing this video because the last video with the same subject did well.
15. One shot per Simon telling that he likes money.
16. One shot if Simon tells that he lives in the Czech Republic.
17. One shot when Simon says “allegedly”.
Please add suggestions. And I’ll add them for next video’s comment.
I was not ready for the Hellsing Abridged clip. 😂
Text: “Liucos Filtteroy Pontitas”
Simon: “Lucas Fitzroy Pontis”
That Terrance & Philip Tangent Boi Cam edit was so incredibly brilliant 🤌🏻😂
Julian, you deserve an award for this editing job! 🏆
11:18 - Lucious SHOULD HAVE instead, thrown a load os 'Space cakes' towards the bear, then... HE WOULD HAVE SURVIVED, as the bear would have slouched back, got comfortable, mumbled a lot about nothing, laughed (in its own way), and then got SERIOUS munchies!!! 😏🤣🤣🤣🤣
😎🇬🇧
6:56 that skeletor was placed perfect haha. Same again a few seconds later lol
You were extra awesome today, Julian!
No, u.
@@VulianJu What a charmer!
@prasselboll I agree!
Lmfao! I LOVE the side cam like that.
You don't "turn nasty" because you drink. You turn nasty when you drink BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED. That's right, drunk behavior is *learned*.
Oh, I dunno... I always just thought it gave me the balls I didn't have when I was sober.
I want a episode of Simon, his writers and editors to go on a weekend trip... Including some of the legendary friends the writers mentioned in their scripts!
Geeez, looks like Simon found some left over cocaine before this episode, even the ad read was 'energized' :D
I really like that Simon respects his wealth and success and doesn’t take it for granted or forget that he started poor and unknown, too.
Tangent camera use - HILARIOUS! Thank you!
Young lad hooks up with girlfriends mother was a movie plot. The Graduate.
Yes Editor...!!! 🤣🤣🤣
I freaking love South Park style Simon!
I'm giggling like hell at janky Simon. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I spat my cocoa out.
Blair House is not a hotel-it’s basically the White House’s guest house for visiting VIPs.
THAT HELLSING ABRIDGED REFERENCE HAD ME ON THE FLOOR.
"Do You know who I am!?!" - Simon "Whistle Boy" Whistler
Loved the animated head 😂 Way to go above and beyond editing
Give Jen a raise! That “janky animated head” was so good I don’t think I would’ve noticed.
The split second Helsing Abridged reference made me much happier than it should have. I may go binge that whole series on CZcams after this.
100% recommend anyone reading this comment do the same.
This is the most organized I’ve seen Simon do a T\F episode
Today I found out Simon is Canadian 😱
Yeltsin? “Circling Shannon”!
So Simon is canadian then. Got it.
I love the bear cartoon!
Every Blaze is a unique gem...however, the episodes with games are the best. Keep on, keeping on!
God bless the editor having to audio balance the blaze screaming at the mic
Epic caffeine fail at 25 minutes in where Simon says "go on the story to tell the show"😅
Animation was on point this episode. Well done!
This episode features Canadian Simon and I couldn't be happier
FUN STUFF! More please. Great editing. Super episode all around.
Simon going all fast and in a hurry at the start making gestures like "move along, we in a hurry" and I'm all like "this is a video, fact boy! I can't watch faster!"
Drunken fails ... I've had a few, but they mostly revolve around bodily fluids exiting ones body at great force at the worst possible moment. 😮😂
I demand animated head Simon be a regular part of B.B. from now on- and also respectfully request Simon's Coca-Cola belches NOT be.
Dave: For those of you who are good at anagrams
Me: Oh, Sweetie. You vastly overestimate the amount of thought I put into, well, anything.
Love the editing. Just, chef's kiss
10:59 he’s only crazy if it was a grizzly bear or polar bear; that’s actually exactly what you’re supposed to do if you encounter a black bear. (I went to college at a place nicknamed “the university in the forest”; they regularly sent out campus-wide emails when a black bear had been spotted around & advised you to “get big, make as much noise as possible, etc”- make yourself seem like too much work, in other words).
“If it’s black, fight back; if it’s brown, lie down” (play dead & it will consider you safely stashed away to come back to later).
I think there’s a clever addition for polar bears, but the long & short of it is that if that guy notices/decides to interact with you, you’re basically already dead. Better pray you have friends with you and multiple heavy-duty shotguns to go around, and mayyyyybe they can stop it from dragging you underwater to show its babies how to hunt 😅 (If it’s white, get ready to see the light, maybe?)
I vaguely remember it going "if it's white, good night" or maybe "say bye."
If it's black fight back, if it's brown lie down, if it's white, goodnight.
Loud yes, but don't scream. A high pitched scream makes you sound like prey.
We teach the girl scout to stand together, raise the hands (with jacket, if you have them, and sing "Happy Birthday" at the top of your lungs. Can't scream if you're singing. 😉
Nice😂😂😂
❤Lilly Allen
😂 the editor! Thank you for the animated bobble head Simon ❤
11:32 I wouldn’t be surprised. There’s an entire movie about a bear who ate cocaine. I can see a bear wanting to string a sweet smelling alcohol
Reese Witherspoon had a house in Delaware years ago, about a 5 minute drive from my childhood home. It's pretty big and had an airplane hanger.
I'm ngl, I love the Canadian Simon tangent animation, 😂😂😂😂 it's genuinely funny
Yay I’ve been wanting a new one of these for ages!!!
These are some of my favorite episodes
You should keep the animated side view. Lol
Editor needs a raise... This was put together brilliantly... Tangent-Cam awkward Simon was 1000% more fun.
Yeltzin and Clinton laughing makes me happy and sad. Oh how close we came to Russia being OK.
Loved the Dragon Ball Super edit from the Goku Black Ark.
As soon as the editor left a note saying they aren't lazy, I knew this wasn't edited by Lorelei
Woah woah woah, pump the breaks there buddy…nobody insults me like that. Never left a note in my life…
As an Alaskan, the bear one 100% could have happened and I wouldn't have thought twice
As a fairly reserved American, I enjoy both British humor and British sarcasm much more than in-your-face, crude American sarcasm and humor.
Leo Laporte also had a television show called *"The Lab, With Leo Laporte",* a call in show that that started in 2007, and lasted 2 seasons, that i watched faithfully.
Besides being informative..Leo was quite entertaining.
Something like the sleeping with a girlfriends mom has definitely happened.
The yeltsin one was the same visit where he stopped off at shannon on the way back to meet with the taoiseach and other members of gov for a high level diplomatic discussion and was so pissed they couldn't wake him up let alone get him off the plane! they were on the tarmac for an hour and a half waiting for and eventually they met with a subordinate. they tried after to claim he had a heart attack but every man and his dog had the story before he landed back in moscow, in fact circling shannon airport used to be a term for someone being seriously drunk!
Starfishes frigging love this
South park canadian simon isnt real it cant hurt you
LMAO the fact that his glasses change as well as he speaks like a Canadian in South Park on those "tangent cams"
The only one I missed was number 3 the drunken bear. I could really see some idiot winning himself a Darwin award by doing this.
I love it when we get to interact with the Blaze team.
didn't realise Simon was Canadian. nicely done