Slob vs Neat Freak // Which one are you?
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- čas přidán 16. 06. 2024
- Do you live with a slob? Or a helicopter Neat-Freak? Leave a comment!
Thanks for being here! We’re Kim and Penn Holderness of The Holderness Family. We create original music, song parodies, and skits to poke fun of ourselves, the world we live in, and (hopefully) make you laugh.
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Lmao, Penn acting out Kim's amazing narrative is pure oscar gold!!! Love it!!!
Beer, chicken, taking off my pants in the middle of the kitchen, whooooo marrriagggge!! 😂😂😂😂😂
Kierney Manson lol
Kierney Manson LOL
omg, thats soo tru
Haha
Lollll
Her face when he said he does most of the dishes was priceless. I am right handed but play sports left handed so I feel your pain Penn.
If I have to take my ring off my finger (and since I was much thinner when I got married, I actually don’t wear my ring very often), I always put my ring in one of two places: either with my engagement ring in the house or in the zippered coin purse in my wallet. That way I always know where it is. Then again...my husband is also on wedding ring #3 (or is it 4, I’ve kind of lost track). The first replacement we got at (believe it or not) a turnpike service area in Ohio for $15 - and he got more compliments about that ring than he did about his original wedding ring. When that one wore out (as truck stop rings do), we splurged on the latest replacement - and bought a $20 ring from the Italy pavilion at Epcot. So the moral of the story is: either put your ring where you won’t lose it or buy one that you can easily replace if it gets lost. :-)
Penn, why don’t you just move the ring to your right hand when you play tennis. Then you move it back after?
Great question. My right knuckle is like 7 times the size of my left knuckle. I tried it and got it stuck. Had to sit in a cold room with dish soap to get it off.
What if you just get it sized for that finger (the right hand) and keep it there?
Kim Napoleone I think the tattoo solution saves all. 👍😊
@@theholdernessfamily try Windex to remove rings. Works like a charm and it cleans them at the same time!
@@theholdernessfamily did you try putting it on a different finger?
Lola’s face as a burglar!!! Hahaha
She's getting to be pretty funny isn't she?
The Holderness Family I know I’m late but yes she is haha
Ikr
Lola is awesome!
OMG this was hilarious!!! Love it when you do each others voices & the whole "fake news" had me nearly spitting out my breakfast! Love u guys, so you are so fun!
It almost sounded like penn was trying to convince himself that he does most of the dishes.
Fun fact, I lost my (family heirloom) wedding ring for 4 YEARS. Then we got a new fridge. Guess what was safely stashed on top of the old fridge? 😵
This is the family I always wanted to have. You guys have been such a lifeline for me during the pandemic, I am so thankful for your videos.
Many many years ago I told my husband I was only going to clean the clothes that were in the hamper. One morning he got up and asked where his clean underwire was. I replied were they in the hamper? He looked on the bedroom floor on his side of the bed. All his underwire was dirty and on the floor beside the bed. I told him to put his dirty clothes in the hamper and I would clean them. For most of the time since then he has put his dirty clothes in the hamper.
Pam Murphy 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
Nicely done.
Penn should get a ring tattooed, he’ll never loose it
globldygloop _ he does
@@thecreativeweirdos3633 no its kim’s name not a ring
Kim, I feel ya girl! We just talked about the laundry thing this morning. A hamper next to the bed...on his side...dirty boxers and shorts on the floor NEXT to the hamper.
Totally LOVE this! I'm the neat freak and while my Love isn't a slob he like takes 4 mos to put something away. Ex: He took down the ceiling fan in the living room and put up a really cool light fixture that I bought. No lie: the ladder, the 8' ORANGE ladder, stayed in the living room for a week following the project. After I couldn't take it in there anymore, he moved it out to the porch. Where it's still living. Upright. In all it's orangeness. Leaning. Totally destroying the view of our beautiful farm with out cute beyond belief goats. I, on the other hand VACUUM the porch. I'd vac the barn if possible but I do rake it 3x/day and make sure it smells pretty and I hang little cutesy things from the barn ceiling so the goats have some nice decor to look at. That's just a small example. :) But I love this man beyond belief and couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone but him. He's my husband and my Love and my Sweetheart and ... I'm an OCD nut job and he's my slob.
Haha and this video perfectly illustrates why I love your family! Perfect balance. :) My problem is I am both people. I just get these spurts where nothing is in order enough! then there are times when I am just "meh, these socks will find their way to the hamper eventually." Past me and future me never see eye to eye.
Have you seen those new rubber rings? Their for busy people. This was hilarious by the way!
YES! I was just going to post this same thing.
What are these
And he can order like 30 of them at a time
Tattoo ring
Groove Rings
The pants!!! Why do men have to leave their pants everywhere??? It's bad enough I have a nudist for a toddler. I don't need my hubs leaving his pants in the middle of the dining room floor!!
Men have the liberty to take off thier clothes and they happen to use it a lot😂😂
SOCKS..my husband wears only black crew 🧦 socks..they are like 🐍 snakes..a sock hanging on the stair rail, socks on the kitchen floor..in the hallway..creeping out from in between the couch cushions..ick..they just multiply and show up everywhere..even our sons room!! I hate those socks..they're evil😉
@@frozennorthwoods4401 I don't understand it; does he throw them as he is taking them off? Does he fling them? My Husband can't ever seem to get his stinky socks or his under ware into the hamper either. Why? Is it like a fireman thing that is they get woke up in the middle of the night, they want their under ware and socks available in a pinch if there is a fire? I think they are all doing it. Must be a man thing.
One day I am slob and then the next I am like WHY IS MY ROOM SO DIRTY!!!!!
Same ! U just earned ur self a sub
Thank you
Littlecat 5 that’s me! Like rn my room is a wreck but tomorrow I’ll be reorganizing my bookshelf and such. Also I’m your 9 or 10th sub!
Saaaame!
I love how these topics are like real life matters... And yet they are so playful with their communication! ...While the rest of us vent and complain and nit pick about our lives.
Such a simple thing!
Communication!!
Lets hope this continues behind closed doors! 😁
Kim, I so feel your pain. I'm like you and my husband and all 3 kids are like Penn. My son thinks the whole house is his room and just starts something somewhere and then just leaves it behind to start something else. At any given time there are 3 books at least one computer and probably some dishes lying around in the livingroom, diningroom and outside. My husband and I share an electric toothbrush and everytime I use it, I put "my" brush back on it's holder. My husband just leaves his "brush" on the base so before I can use it, I have to remove his brush and replace with mine. I may be a "helecopter neat-freak" but honestly, I think I'm just normal and my family are just slobs. LOL!
Everyone should be blessed with a family like the Holderness family. Y'all are awesome.
My husband gets so upset with me for not wearing my wedding set! He says I'm not a normal girl! But the struggle is real with being left handed! I don't own a hand held can opener ! I use an electric one! You guys should do a clip on the struggles of being left handed! It is a right handed world. We've had to adapt. I think it would be hilarious to watch the world have to do things with their left hand for 24 hrs on things that left handers do on a daily basis. Reverse everything! Don't even get me started when it comes to writing in pencil! (All that silver led smearing all over the side of my hand up to my wrist) Everything is made for a right handed world! Left handers learned to adapt, it would be a nice (and quite funny) change!
My husband’s skinny fingers lost the first ring on our wedding day. He is on about the fourth ring and this one is a $30, Tibetan OM Mane Padme Hung one that is not a complete circle. We literally clamped it on him with pliers. Thanks for all the laughs!
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE EVERY VIDEO FROM THE HOLDERNESS FAMILY... Penn is SO TALENTED , I know, layering the music for each joxan and music parts and making the final sound AMAZING !!..
Have A Terrific Day dear Holderness Family !
I 'll be anxiously waiting to see more .
I want to love this over and over, love it!!! Keep the laughs coming 😄😄😄
I just laughed and laughed! I think this is the ever present issue in a family cause usually one kid and one parent are also very different in this need for neatness! Just admire your teamwork so much!
Omg I watched this video laughing hysterically, feeling like I was watching the story of my life . My hubby has lost his rings to the point I purchase several at a time now ( cheaper ones because I know he's just going to lose it ) so I have backup already on hand. I'm the helicopter cleaner and he's the delusional dish cleaner all the way . Lol thanks guys I loved this video
This family seem so down to earth I love it. My hubby is totally a helicopter neat freak
From a neat freak about a slob. My fiancee refuses to use a napkin while she eats. It drives me CRAZY! She has literally said "Why wipe my face? It'll just get more messy, so there's no point!" and she tried to use the scenario of "You wouldn't vacuum the floor when you know that there will be kids coming in with dirty shoes, right?", to which I responded with "If you're eating a messy breakfast and don't catch the stuff that's going to drip on your clothes, you'd have to either change your clothes THAT YOU JUST PUT ON, or go the whole day with gross stains on your shirt"....she said that it's not that big of a deal to just put on new clothes -_-
I'm the fiancee in this story... Yes I am a slob and it irritates her very much lol. But I think all the slobs will side with me on this, you can't tell a slob to clean up while they're eating or making the food, but she insists on telling me to wipe my face while I'm eating.
I'm both
Love the shuttle shrug when Penn said "You are obviously going to win this fight."
Thx guys for looking at those time stamps! Plz leave a like! That will tell me that you would like me to do more holderness time stamps! Alright bye!
Hahaha the first bit was sooo funny btw i love you guys
" I can't be trusted with such things! " 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This was hilarious 🤣 and I agree with Penn, bieng left-handed is hard.
I so love y’all!! Y’all are us!! 100%! 💕
This was so funny! I was laughing with you guys for the whole last part of the video!
My husband keeps rearranging the refrigerator. He likes to put the tall items in the back and the shorter ones up front. This sounds good, but the things I use most often are always in the back and I can't quite reach them. I have to get a stool if he is not home. Just when I get them all back to normal, he does it again. He, too, is cute, sweet, funny and loving. That's how he survives. You guys crack me up. Love your vlogs.
I'm a slob at home, and a neat freak at school.
No lie: My husband thought "doing the dishes" meant putting them in the dishwasher just like Penn. That's it. Then I told him "doing the dishes" means cleaning the kitchen, scraping the dishes, rinsing the dishes, putting the dishes in the dishwasher, putting away the leftovers and cleaning the pans....and cleaning the counters...so resetting the kitchen completely. Then when the dishes in the dishwasher are finished--put them away. It includes everything except the cooking. sometimes even taking out the trash and sweeping/mopping the floors....a reset to a clean kitchen. reset. (I am getting mad just writing it. This must be a standard husband/ wife argument, in which case you may have to let it go. Just fighting against nature is an uphill battle.
I’d be overjoyed if my husband would even put his OWN dishes into the washer. I will say, when I worked and our kids were little, he did half. But now? I’m a personal valet.😒
@@mangot589 Make a chart of all the things that need to be done around the house and give them a time value. Average the time it takes. My husband would take twice as long to do any chore than me. Go back and forth with things you most like doing. Like if you hate doing the dishes and he likes it, give him the chore. All chores must be done before bed if they are daily ones. Then when he doesn't do them, just let it go and write it down on the chore list on the refrigerator. Let the dishes pile up, let the laundry pile up, let the garbage pile up----not your problem. Tell him it is not fair that you both work full time and you do all the work in the house alone. Men will let women do all of it. Mostly I think it's cause they have no idea how much work it really is...so, show him
If he refuses to help after living in a pig pen for awhile, time to go to counseling. :)
Love you guys! You both are hilarious! This is sssooooo my husband and me! We have known each other since we were eighteen. My Honey had a nightmare of a messy room. I would help him clean and organize it at times. Nothing has changed to date. He is messy and I still clean and organize.
My goodness, I hope my husband and I can be like you two for a long time
Love your family so so much!
So funny haven't laugh this much long time thanks I love to watch like everyday laughter good medicine
They need to do a diss track on each other and the kids should too 😂
Lol soooooooooooooooooooo funny thank you for making me laugh like in every vid
I absolutely love when penn voices Lola
Every time Penn said he does dishes, Kim’s mouth opened wider and wider in shock and outrage lol … I love it when I get my bride stirred up like that
Ha ha ha ha OMG I'm dying! "I do most of the dishes." And Kim's face!! That would be the same face I'd have if my husband said that!
If husbands do ANY of anything they always say it's most. There is no basis for this idea in fact. Ever.
And they really believe it, and they are quiet when they see the eye roll, but then go back to there assertions anyway.
My dear husband finally changed the lock on our front door...only took a year. He was so proud that he told me about it three times in about 30 minutes. I finally asked him if he wanted a parade thrown in his honor...even he had to laugh 😂
@@maryannajackson8238 and he took a minute to imagine the parade and wanted to tell you yes, honey I do want a parade. Maybe this is why men tend to have more confidence than women generally. Maybe we should all start doing less, lolling about like a male lion and announcing our daily chore list, waiting for accolades and confetti. Nah...men would just retreat to the garage confused or go for a walk. :)
1234constantine Yep 🤣
Mary Anna Jackson If he isn’t very “handy” he may have been mostly pleased/surprised at his success 😉👍
Daily you give me so much joy and laughter watching your videos! Thank you!
During holiday dinners, mom used to grab my plate while In was still eating it. I would stop her if she did it while the fork was on the way to my mouth, but it I had gone to the bathroom my plate would be gone. I always asked, "have you ever known me to leave food on my plate, especially all of these yummy veggies? " She has OCD and would start taking plates away as soon as she could. I also would say " why do you bother with the plates when you know very well, I will be the only one who will be cleaning the dishes even with there being 6 people in this house. "
Penn, Penn, Penn. Kim is a saint.
My hubby is a hoarder. I’m disabled and have bad OCD when it comes to cleanliness. Nobody gets how we manage to stay together but we do. Needless to say, we’ve gone though counselling lol. But I WILL say that now that the kids are all grown and gone and I no longer have their help to keep the house clean and stay on top of Chris’s hoarding, it’s been a bit of a challenge.
End of the day...we love each other. And he’s really trying to keep it in check. Just be glad if Penn does do the occasional load of dishes - trust me, it could be worse! 😉❤️
Let’s just remember the song my wife comes home in an hour. Best song ever besides I never stretch out.
If we find ourselves fighting about who does a particular house chore the most, that's a sign that we've been doing it for so long that the kids are now old enough to do it for us. Conflict solved.
My car? They’d have to clean it to steal it. Lol!
My wife and I share same things and both of us tell each other what we did wrong, then we talk about it which turns into a funny ass argument 🤣🤣🤣🤣
1:04 and 2:44 are soooo funny 🤣🤣🤣
His ring is still not on, I think she won that round!
I absolutely enjoyed your introvert Vs extrovert video,it was like describing us as a couple...and this one too
He needs a groove ring🤣
I'm not married, but I'm Penn. I had a para-educator who realized that I piled stuff. She could organize my piles by making sure they were straight, and I never lost a paper. She never understood my system, but she trusted that I remembered which pile I used. I loved her because she knew my weakness was, and she was "I've got that covered, you do you." Kim seems to do that well with Penn
My husband works very hard outside the home so that I can stay home. So I keep the house cleaned up. Couple weeks ago hubby was sweeping the floors and uttered these words: why do I always end up with the floors. I know that you do everything else but why... nevermind."
ROFL - Loved the Eye Roll take at the end : - keep me laughing thanks
6:04 Is hilarious
This battle has been raging for centuries....trust me.
This is so my husband and I......🤣 Except he has never lost his wedding ring.
This video had me laughing so loud my 5 yr old daughter was asking what was so funny! I love this! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I am DEFINITELY a neat freak 😂 great video! Love you!
Love you guys so much
LOL, this is what I say when I see anyone but me in the kitchen: "What are you doing in my kitchen?" lol. Meaning, don't dirty anything up. GET OUT! I'm terrible, lol.
I can totally relate to the helicopter neat freak part!!! There are socks all over the house!!!! ...but I tend to be more of a slob. :) You guys are fantastic! Keep it coming!
I never understood how my ex could forget his cereal bowl in the shower every morning. I finally posted a picture of it on Facebook and he stopped after that.
My car is like him. My house is like her. My kids hate my car and my house haha. So can't win
Me, too! Our car is bad, but I have to keep the house really clean or it gets to me
OMGosh...y’all are like us!! I’m introvert and want things clean...he’s extravert and OMGosh you can’t even get in his car lol! I needed him to pick our daughter up from school and he’s like...I don’t have any room.......he’s driving a crown Vic, alone!! His trunk, back seat/floor, as well as front seat/floor is FULL!! There’s just enough room for him to sit in, lol! Stuff goes in the car never to return....ever!! Hahaha!
Feel for ya Kim. I’m
right there with you.
I'm watching old videos. We had been married just a little over a year, and one of my summer jobs was coaching my old neighborhood swim team. One night I went home and told my husband I lost my ring in the pool. Luckily it wasn't too terribly expensive and he bought me a new one.
My wife and I see you both as our marriage twins! Great video!
That is so true!!
So glad you stay together. You're a beautiful couple.
This is adorable and makes me smile...also makes me feel so much better about losing my wedding ring years ago at the gym. I don't wear my cheaper ones inside the gym anymore, but am now thinking a tattoo on my ring finger sounds like a great idea!
You guys deserve more subscribers
Too funny..my husband says….”you’re cleaning up before me”. As he’s cooking!
I can relate to her. My husband lost a ring flinging a fishing pole into the lake. I'm the neat freak and take off those shoes and not leave them in random places around the house. We do have coat racks too. Nothing like having to vacuum more and suck up shoelaces.
So, y'all are cracking me up about the rings. My husband's ring got cracked in half at work. So now, my husband has his good ring (the real one) and his Qalo ring that he wears to work, and it can get broken because I only paid $15 for it! Best investment ever. And the Qalo comes with a zipper pouch that I use to store the good ring until we have a date night or some other event where he wants to look fancy. But when he's working, or coaching, or anything that isn't sitting there looking pretty - its the Qalo.
Thx 4 the 😄😉😄Laffs....much needed during this Friggin CV 😷 Lockdown 👌
I’m surprised you both survived till the end of the video 😂
I could not live with a neat freak, it would be sooo very stressful. I like neat, and clean, but wow. That is a lot.
I'm a neat freak, but I have to be! If I don't clean up right away, a little mouse will visit me... 😂
Thanks for the cute confrontation. I have a theory about men- they subconsciously have a need to mark their territory. It goes back millions of years in their DNA. My father used to hang his jacket on the chair he would sit at in the dining room when he got back from work, even though the closet was eight feet away. But he was saying "Ok I want everyone to know I am home." My mother would silently move it to the hall closet before we sat down to eat. It was like a ritual. I don't think she was aware that she was always doing that either. Women want to create order so they can notice enemies approaching, without too much distracting clutter. Just some theories lol.
That's me... Useless, but fun to be around. I don't know if I like being called out like this.
2:36
A.K.A. my argument.
This is literally me!
My husband lost his ring 3 times too many years ago! Glad to know he is not alone!
Re watched "You're Welcome".
Like my husband would say he does MOST of the laundry. He'd WASH most of it, dry SOME of it, fold ALMOST NONE of it & put away NOT A STITCH. But YEAH, he did MOST of it...
You two have the greatest marriage.
Kim reminds me of a Disney princess 👸 😂
Also we have a lot of car robbers in our neighborhood too. My dad literally leaves his really really nice Apple computer and iPad in the car and they don’t take it!!!! They take like 2$!!!! He also hates his car so he just wants them to take the whole car cause he also leaves his keys in there
You guys are great
Somehow I'm like both of you, but more like penn. It's really hard if you're a somehow a bit of a perfectonist about how everything has to be in you're home and at the same time you're extremely chaotic and extremely forgetful and you have like 100 open tabs in your brain with things that you want to to or that you even have started to do but couldn't finish and just like that it's how my home looks like... So it never looks like I want it to be. There is almost always one or a few areas that are perfect or almost like I want it to be but I've never managed to get my entire apartment perfectly tidy and clean at the same time. It's a problem I'm working on for my entire life (I'm 29) but it's gotten very much better espacially the last 2-3 years and I'll keep on fighting against the kind of a bit "messy" and very chaotic and forgetful version of myself that makes me and everyone around unhappy and disappointed until I'm much closer to be the person that I really am. I don't know how it feels like for others but my ADHD is somehow kind of 'really strong' and I know about it just since 2019 and although I have depressions and... umm... it's like a whole list of chronically diseases that I'm struggeling with for my whole life and also some traumatas... But this year I finally managed to start psychotherapy and I hope this will finally help me after I've been at so many doctors and some hospitals (but it wasn't really helpful for me and it made somethings even worse) and I've tried so many things to help myself and learnend very much things about health and diseases and healthy food and human anatomy and the human psyche all by myself (and I'll definitely will go on 'cause there is so much more important stuff to know [more knowledge than a single person could ever remember] and it helped me a lot to understand myself and what the f*** is going on with my brain and my body, 'cause all the doctors I've been didn't really help me and a few even treated me bad 'cause it's not easy to help me and to help me they would have really to work and so they were kind of annoyed of me and often told me either directly or when some time has passed that I have to go to another doctor (where it happens again and again and...) and so I had to find out what's going on with me by myself. Also at the end of last year I finally found the right medicine that helps me since i've tried so many pills for the last 6 years that doctors gave me and not even one of it was helping me. So... yeah, i'll keep on fighting and working on myself and I hope that I soon can finally feel better in my own skin and become strong and more healthy and the thoughts of myself of being worthless and hopeless and the almost the whole time presently feeling of deep sadness and the feeling that somehow there is no place in this world where I can fit in and the loneliness 'caused of self isolation 'caused of being hurt and being missunderstood and the not just few times I've not even been taken serious with my problems when I tried to get help to many times and much of the intense pain (physically and mentally) will finally stop. There's so much going on in my head I'm struggeling with and everything was so hard for me and complicated in every part of my life that it was my whole life impossible to get my home completely done. But the more I learn about everything and the more I find the diseases that the doctors didn't see or didn't care about (don't know) and the more I understand everything the better everything is getting in my life and I've the feeling that I'm finally slowly getting the control of my body, mind and my life that I never had. But on sunday I broke my leg and I life alone with my cat and know there's not much I can do at all and I feel very helpless and lonely and I can't GO to therapy or go shopping or even bring the garbage to the trashcan. Also I just started physiotherapy last week 'cause I have skoliosis and it hase gotten worse over the years and it hurts very much and now I'm not able to go there and work against the skoliosis and the pain it causes. So I'm sitting here at home, feeling like I'm in prison, having constantly pain, feeling very alone and helpless, being broke and not even have wifi at home or a Laptop and even make something to eat is hard right now 'cause I only have one leg to stand with and 'cause I'm broke I can't even 'call the pizza delivery and I'm trying very hard not to cry the whole time since I broke my leg 'cause now I can't do anything to help myself and there's no help from the outside (only from my mum sometimes a little bit) and I don't know how to go through this situation for 4 weeks (until I can start walking again and being able to get help again)... I hope it will go over very fast... this whole situation is driving me crazy. I always had much problems at the same time and not enough help to get out of it and I've felt so many times overstrained 'cause it was too much but right know... this is a whole new level... I really don't know how to get through this time... I wish there would be any friend or anybody who cares about me and that I could talk to 'cause even with my mom it's not easy to talk to. I love her so much and I know she loves me too, but she often doesn't understand me and that I'm really sick although she knows me my whole life and sees how much I'm struggeling. And I've tried so many times to explain her myself and my diseases but she somehow is not able to understand it. The distance between our both intelligences is huge. Maybe she is really not able to understand me or maybe she isn't empathic enough to imagine how I feel. Or both. There has been many years where she didn't even believed me that I'm really sick and that I can feel that I'm somehow different than all the other people I've met. There have been so many people that didn't believed me. They we're only pushing me harder to 'act normal' and not forget about everything and getting to late to almost every meeting in my life and feeling extremely stressed almost always (in my childhood I had really bad migraineattacks 4 to 7 days a week espacially when I was in school. Schooltime was the absolute hell for me. And often the people didn't even believed me about the migraine...) and overstrained and tired the whole time (cause I'm having sleep disorders and nightmares my entire life cause my brain is always on 150%) and many more things and making fun of me or even bully me....
Damn I wished so badly that I didn't broke my leg. Everything has to get better asap cause I can't take it anymore but I'm so helpless and lonely right know...
If anyone has read all this... could you please give me any hope? Or just say anything nice and positive. Anything that could help me to get through all of this... I need any human to be nice to me. I lost all friends I ever had and I'm an introvert and I can't do the first step and I live very isolated and have extremely low self esteem. Please give me some hope...
I didn't want to write all this, but I somehow couldn't stop myself. It just came out of my brain. Seems like my brain became over all these years of not getting the help it needs that desperate that it tries to get help by writing this on youtube... This was really not my plan. But I'm still going through an extremely hard time and I still don't know how to survive this kind of being helpless and lonely and everthing else...