I was just diagnosed at 27 and find my experience as a male completely aligned with all these videos I am seeing about the female experience of ASD... it feels confusing for me because I also went completely invisible and was misdiagnosed a lot as a kid for all of my struggles. Maybe it is more common for boys to appear more on the surface and girls not, but I find it interesting (and sort of alienating) how my 'high functioning' ASD experience as a guy seems to be completely relatable to the narrative of 'females with ASD' on CZcams and I'm not finding content from other guys with this relatable story. 🤷🏻♂️thanks for sharing
Keep in mind it's a spectrum, and not tied to gender. The male vs. female experience is what is common, however that doesn't mean that there aren't men who present more like the "typical autistic female" and vice versa. Also keep in mind non-binary genders, trans people etc (which there is a high rate of amongst autistic people). IMO it's all about society and nurture. The tendency is still very binary, boys wear blue, they like cars and trains and sports and computers; girls wear pink and like dolls and makeup and clothes. Boys are supposed to be tough and girls are supposed to be nurturing. More pressure is put on girls to be sociable, communicative, smiling etc - which is probably why girls mask more - they feel that pressure and the need to conform to it so as to not become outcasts. It's more socially accepted (maybe even expected?) for boys to be more solitary, not emotional, physical touch-y and all that, so there's fewer reasons for them to hugely mask their differences. Your experience is valid!
@@remy9744 I am yes. And now that I am aware of the proper diagnosis I am seeing it all so much more clearly and allowing myself to be more free with those close to me. Feels good! Getting used to it 😄✌️
when you mentioned how difficult change is to process, my jaw dropped. you stole every word from my mouth. i’m educating myself more on neurodiversity and i really enjoy hearing your perspective. thank you for making these videos :)
I started to question me being autistic when my bf’s mother had told me her family members were uncomfortable around me because I didn’t maintain eye contact and spoke in a monotone. I can look someone in the eyes if I’ve known them my entire life or if it’s someone I have an intimate relationship with them. When looking into someone’s eyes, I feel like I can hear there thoughts and they can hear mine. I always try to give eye contact but then feel uncomfortable, so I look away and don’t look them in the eyes for the rest of the conversation. During elementary school teacher should always tell me j was lying when questioned and they knew I was because I didn’t look them in the eyes. I’d get told by the lunch ladies to smile and was always asked by people if I was ok because I looked sad, but in reality, I was happy and stuck in a. Fantasy world I created in my own mind.
People place way too much importance on eye contact. In other animals, direct eye contact can easily be seen as an act of aggression. It's not comfortable for me, and while I did force myself to do that for years, I'm not as willing to anymore over the last few years. I don't like it, and masking, to me, is about pleasing other people and putting their comfort over yours. It's not a big deal. I think it's hurtful you've been around such rude people, honestly. Why did his mother even tell you what any of them think? Did you ask about their shallow thoughts? I can't imagine not liking someone because they didn't make eye contact to my liking or they're monotone. Don't sound like great people anyway.
Hi, I'm not an expert, but from what I studied in university, autists find it hard to decipher facial expressions. So they avoid eye contact beacuse they can't really gather information from there. For you, it sounds like the opposite. But again, I'm not an expert and clearly don't know you... by the way, I also don't like looking in people's eyes. You can look on their nose - they'll think you look in their eyes lol
@@EMILYHERRERA I also suffered extreme abuse as a child, so it could also be because of my complex PTSD. I have no problem looking someone in the eye once I’ve known them for a while and/or am comfortable in their presence. Thank you for your insight.
I just got diagnosed today.. waited 2.5 yrs for my NHS appointment. I have to wait for my report 2-3 weeks then have a questions & support meeting this coming month. I’m glad I’m not crazy or mad like I was feeling before getting diagnosed. Intrigued to read the report. I did the Aspie Quiz, RAADS & AQ tests as part of my preparation for assessment. Finally I feel at peace and happy with who I am and I’ve found my tribe. Now the work to learn how to unmask everyday will begin, I’ve done it so long on auto-pilot for decades, it will be quite the journey and challenge.
We have to like train ourselves to fit in society. I literally had to study how to smile cause most of my natural smiles look like 😬 and I was told that’s not a real smile....*whispers* I still think it’s a smile. It’s so damn hard trying to understand why ppl want to do and how they know social rules. Me and my friend have had arguments about it cause I’ll be like “why are you doing this it makes no sense” and she will say “cause it’s what ppl DO”. Thank you for this it makes me feel less alone knowing there are ppl the same like me.
Omg I found myself smiling at people and then coming home and checking in the mirror if my smile looked genuine or not. I'm always afraid I'd look passively angry or fake like 🙂
when i was younger my mum said she didn't like my smile and tried to teach me how to smile but that looked stupid and it wasn't a smile and i just don't know how to smile anymore. I'm 16 and don't know how to smile
@@birdtabloid1704 I don’t know the full situation but that sounds more like PTSD type of situation. You smiled but your parent didn’t like it so they basically bullied you into not knowing how to smile without panicking that you’re doing it wrong or that ppl will hate it. Cause from what you said you smiled. You know how to smile. You just don’t know how to smile to her satisfaction.
@@arabelle567 No apparently my smile was unladylike or something because i was told girls dont smile with their teeth and now when i smile i don't look like i'm smiling it just looks like i'm stretching my face in an unfamiliar and strange way and it doesn't feel right or look right
We are just starting the diagnosis process with my 10yr old daughter, so much of what you say resonates. This is one of the most useful videos I’ve watched. Thank you 🙏
Hi, I also do a series about my autism. That's amazing to hear you study autism in theatre. One of my friends in our final year of college did a thesis on autistic actors. Fair play to you for coming out and filming telling everyone your experience. Not many would be able to do it. You deserve massive credit.
Going on 50...removed from the nursery, a few hours after birth and my mom given a private room because I was disturbing the other infants.. Mom said I was Dx when younger, but she rejected the prognosis I would need to be institutionalized when I got older and grew out of control...I have been conditioned and masking my whole life, but still never fit in, always the outsider ..thank you for your video, your experience seems very similar to mine, and I admire your ambition to help others. Take care of you!
So much of what you spoke about resonated with me; masking/ feeling like my life was just me being difficult, not having a place, not fitting in... constantly feeling like a burden/ tricky for other people. Thanks for sharing.
Seeking a diagnosis next year after many problems in life. Finally after yet more people have took advantage of me and the issues im having. That was it. I will be turning 30 next year and i don't want to go on wondering for the rest of my life. X
Thank you so much for making this video! I saw a tik tok and learned about how female autism differs with male autism. A lot of things clicked and made me actually wonder if I can be ASD. I’m scared to get tested and I know it’ll change my life, but I’ hoping to get an answer to everything. I’ve always felt something was off with me and knowing there actually is an explanation might give me a sense of relief. Thank you
i really hope i can learn to unmask someday. i mask so much, when i was 11 they said im not but now at 22 my new therapist has helped me realize im autistic and im scared to go get tested again and get told im wrong and then not be able to get help or ever unmask. im as a female of color so its even harder. i was trying to find females of color who are autistic and i honestly cant find many youtubers or tiktokers who are poc and autistic. it makes me sad for myself to not see myself represented to the fullest idk
Hey! I’m a black woman and I’m pretty sure I have autism. I was thinking about making a video about it. I’m hoping to make more content in the near future (including steaming)
I’m beyond proud of you for making this video!! You talked through the whole thing so beautifully ❣️ I completely understand your frustration with the lack of research on females, I really hope this changes soon! Xx
Good to hear your experiences. There really isn’t that much of a difference between autistic men and women, at least no more on average than any other male/female cohort - most of us struggle with some of the stereotypical ADOS questions and many men are also diagnosed very late in life with doctors failing to recognise the signs. So in many ways it’s the same story across the board.. We have a lot in common 🙂
Ruby I’ve found your video very informative. I have ASD (late diagnosis) and have found many of the same issues. Keep doing your videos they’re helpful to others.
Hi Ruby, thanks for sharing your story. My question for your Q&A is how does your ASD affect your personal life e.g. relationships, friendships, home life etc. :)
Thank you for this video. It’s helpful to have an insight into the flaws of the current system. I’m glad you got your diagnosis first time round! I’m finishing my first year of uni after a decade away from studying. In that decade I have worked with autistic teenagers - I always worked best with them out of all the learning support assistants, and now I know why! I need some support at uni with organisation etc, but the current waiting list on the NHS is two years... and that was BEFORE Covid caused more delays. This means that I wouldn’t get a diagnosis until after I finish uni. Helpful, eh? 😉 SO as soon as lockdown is over, I will organise a private assessment with someone who takes a keen interest in autism in females. It’s a 500-mile round trip (thanks to living in the arse-end of nowhere) and will take a chunk of my student loan to cover, but it’ll be worth the effort. Part of me is scared that I will walk away without a diagnosis, because of masking or the whole “you’re married, you can’t be autistic”, but another part of me is fairly confident. I’m putting together a list of experiences and reasons for meeting each point of the criteria. If anyone dismisses that, they have no business in trying to diagnose autism. 😉
Ah that was so interesting to read I have so many questions!! What are you studying?? What made you go back to it?? When did you realise? How do you feel your experience helps in your work (I also work with Autistic adults so I feel you). I really hope you get that diagnosis but don't give up if you don't. We gotta beat this shit system!!! Xxx
Thanks for making this video, the challenges of just getting to a diagnosis appointment decision is a step that often does not get the emphasis deserved and yet can be a stumbling block most unfair for many which the stories and tone of voice and verbal presentations suggests.
Hi! You have a great video. I have autism. Television is my dream career. My dream is to be a singer, actor, broadcast, journalist, and author. I was diagnosed with autism at age 3. Your research is very interesting to me. I really like your ideas. That's very good to know that you have a few diagnosis. I have a friend that also has dyslexia. Including my other blood cousin, which I have not met him yet. However, I will meet him in a future. He will be in high school in this fall semester. Again, I really your research. That's very interesting topic. Also, I will be earning my associate's degree in general studies next year in the spring. Then, I will be in a bachelor's degree for radio TV and journalism. My name is Andres by the way. It's pleasure to meet you. Good luck at everything you do. God bless you and your family. 🙏❤
You may not see this comment but for the last year I’ve realised that I could really likely have ASD but I’m worried to say to anyone incase they say I’m overreacting and it’s just normal
Me too!!! I don't know what to do :/ I want to talk about this with someone but The last time I talked about my dyslexia people start to act like everyone have my struggles and this was quite "normal", which make me really upset at time because in my school time I haved so much difficult because of my dyslexia, and even when my mom said that I have it to my professor this didn't chance anything! On of my teachers act like I was overreacting, so took me years to talk about this again, and now that I think I may be on the spectrum I'm afraid to talk about it '-' I hope the things go well for you!
@@AfraMinelly I'm 28 and starting to think I might have ASD too, hearing lots of women's stories that I can finally relate to... but also don't know whether to go get diagnosed or continue on as usual. I'd love to t know if you got diagnosed in the end?
I just found this video and your other one about asd. I can't wait to see more videos from you. It made me so happy when you said you were in the theatre industry and going to school for it because that's me. I just graduated with my MFA in theatre. I got my asd diagnosis in February. I have known since last year though.
Omg amazing!!! What is your focus??? My whole undergrad changed when I focused it towards disability in the arts it's amazing and now my whole research. I've currently got a show in the works that I'm so excited for!! xx
For me, unless it's my husband or a really close friend (I have 1 close friend now) I feel like I cannot breathe if someone touches me or gets in my bubble
Do you think autistics get into theatre because there is a script about how to interact with others? I’m a teacher now, but double majored in theatre. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD and I’m waiting for my psychiatrist appointment for ASD.
I don't know specifically about theatre but I'm in circus performing and there are a lot of Autistic circus performers too. I think a reason could be due to playing a character which is different from themselves. E.g. in real life I'm quiet and don't make eye contact but when I'm performing I'm full of confidence
I'm 26 and haven't been diagnosed with ASD.. I have been diagnosed with GAD and panic attacks, severe ocd and depression. I also have a pain condition that's not diagnosed. I work as an LSA in a secondary school and since working there I have discovered that there is a chance I have a linked form of dyslexia.. With numbers and coordination (dyscalculia and dyspraxia) and the more I learn about autism the more omg that's me moment's I have..
I have a known disability since birth ... But I still wondered what wrong with me ... I don't have a diagnosis but I really believe Im autistic as well. Maybe I will speak to a doctor about it. I don't know what he thinks about that ...
Hi Ruby, I love hearing your story. I am currently enrolled into school and we are learning, and having to make an assignment based off of Autism. Would you ever consider answering a couple questions for me? Thank you for your time. x
Hey Ruby, you’re amazing thank you for doing this video! I’m 26 and had my first assessment a month ago. Just waiting on a referral from a clinician. Weird question, would it be possible for me to read your dissertation? Your masters sounds sooo interesting!
So I did a performative research dissertation based on biographical experience of the diagnostic process and my writing was based on that research that I deliver via live performance. However my masters dissertation is accessible on my website here to have a look at: rubysarahwork.weebly.com/fmp.html xx
The covid buggered up my proper autism diagnosis, the psychiatrists say I have aspergers and I was accepted onto the proper screening. I have BPD and ADHD, I'm in the UK too so you know how pants the services are over here.
Brilliant video, thank you for sharing. A very misunderstood disability! Must have been a marathon to script and record this - especially three times! You should be rewarded your masters for this video!! Can I ask is there any further support you are 'entitled' to now you have an official diagnosis? Drawing your degree further studies, do you think your university would have worked with you differently if you had your diagnosis when you applied? - being cheeky and asking two questions. xx
i do a lot of eye contac becuase i learned that is the best way to avoid people talking to me , or they will go straight to the point , specially with doctors , i may not be able to talk propertly bexause anxiety or just something else but for some reason eye contac makes people to respect me more
This was a supposedly competent medical professional who said the clothing you wore or the fact that you had a piercing meant you weren't autistic? Where did he get his degree? A Cracker Jack box?
Thank you for this video, I really resonate with it. I had a similar journey to yours with dyslexia and GAD (and lots of others but I will keep this comment short 😉). I have been diagnosed with ASD in march 2020 and ever since felt inadequate (pretty ironically) to my local autistic community because I'm too good at masking. So I feel not legit to speak out as an autistic person and it's confusing.
This is really interesting we are currently going through the diagnostic system for our daughter she's 22 my wife's son is autistic and realised that a lot of problems and behaviours that she was exhibiting were very like her son's her Dr and psychologist say she has moderate to savear she has previously been diagnosed with depression ocd and chronic anxiety also auditory sensory disorders
Hi ruby, I’m 23 and there’s absolutely no support for me in my area, I’ve called everyone and any service online but there isn’t any support for adults with asd. How do you cope with this? Is it different for you? I’d love to know. I’m 23 and still have never met or at least known of another female like me before. Ellie x
I’m in the same situation there’s is absolutely nowhere near me for assessments for adults they’re all just for children and have the name “treatment” in them as if it’s some sort of disease. It’s honestly a bit depressing.
Your hair looks like it smells nice. I am actually worried i wont be believed for diagnosis. I am a man but seem to be resonating with female symptoms... wonder is that is why everyone thought i was gay as a child? Edit: sorry forgot to tell you i am glad your story is going well,i enjoyed it. My question as a self identified autist to a certified one. What does it feel like to you?
I’m struggling to know if I should look more into me possibly having autism but I also have dyslexia and ADHD but do relate to a lot of what your saying so what do you think?
I am seeking a diagnosis, and the psychologist has scheduled an IQ test for me. Can you tell me why an IQ test is an important component of getting a diagnosis? I am so nervous about it and not sure why I need to take this
I loved hearing your story. I was wondering if anyone considered looking into ADHD with High Sensitivity? Your story of having ASD sounds so much like having ADHD with High Sensitivity so if they did I was wondering what made them different?
So I have SPD and assumed ADHD alongside my Autism but as they are under my umbrella of Autism it's usually just referred to as that. I believe it's some of the key differences that they are able to give one or the other diagnosis that I just present far more with my Autism xxx
(My experience was in the US, so keep that in mind since we use the DSM-5 for psychiatric diagnoses) When I told my Primary Care Physician (general doctor for checkups) about my life experiences that might be indicative of autism, I was given a temporary diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder and she gave me a referral for a psychiatrist. Upon visiting the psychiatrist, he thought I had enough symptoms throughout my life for ASD, but (at least in his view) he considered autism more of a 'symptom' (like how a cough could be a symptom of bacterial infection, smoking, etc). Upon going through his questions, he concluded that I also had ADHD-inattentive which he believes to be (at least partially) causing ASD. I'm not sure, but I don't think this is a consensus view (but thought it was worth mentioning 🤷♂️) The more I learn about psychiatric conditions and how they're classified/diagnosed, the more I suspect that the neat, clean boxes that are used for diagnoses are really just for helping healthcare professionals with prescribing treatments 🤔 A helpful distinction I picked up from a cognitive scientist/psychologist researcher (John Vervaeke) is the difference between a system being "rule-governed" vs. "rule-described". For instance, we could say that planetary bodies are described by calculus (ie, rule-described by calc), but they're not *doing* calculus (ie, rule-governed by calc). Same thing applies to talking about playing a game of chess against a computer. We can talk about the computer *as if* it has intentions and is a narrative agent (eg, "It's trying to deceive me", "It wants me to make a mistake so it can win"), but the computer doesn't *actually* care if it wins or loses. So it might be helpful to *describe* it as being a narrative agent, but it's not *governed* by being a narrative agent I wonder if the same idea applies to the plethora of psychiatric disorders? 🤔 Like, maybe it's helpful to *describe* a cluster of symptoms & behaviors as ADHD, ASD, Major Depressive Disorder, etc., but perhaps those symptoms are *governed* by something quite different (like maybe a case of MDD is caused by a serotonin deficiency or maybe by inflammation of the brain). Even so, psychiatrists like Daniel Amen seem to be dubious about this approach: "Treatment needs to be tailored to individual brains, not clusters of symptoms." Amen's TED talk "The most important lesson from 83,000 brain scans" is pretty neat for anyone who's interested
@@RubyWoodss You may find some of the info in psychiatrist Daniel Amen's TED talk interesting/relevant to your research: "The most important lesson from 83,000 brain scans" czcams.com/video/esPRsT-lmw8/video.html
@@RubyWoodss I am a psychiatrist, and I know it's veeeery hard to comprehend, even to pinpoint, certain symptoms when you're young, even old if nobody has explained them to you... And explained, in here, means explain explain explain show show show (ad infinitum). I can make diagnosis now in 30 seconds that I coudn't even fathom in months 15 years ago, sometimes words are not enough to "see" things than cannot be explained only with words, that's why I tend to tell my patients "don't read anything, you're gonna get even more lost than now". Anyhow, I hope you're doing great, it's been a lovely surprise to receive your answer, didn't spect it at all. Keep it up!!! Best Regards, Jaume.
I was just diagnosed at 27 and find my experience as a male completely aligned with all these videos I am seeing about the female experience of ASD... it feels confusing for me because I also went completely invisible and was misdiagnosed a lot as a kid for all of my struggles. Maybe it is more common for boys to appear more on the surface and girls not, but I find it interesting (and sort of alienating) how my 'high functioning' ASD experience as a guy seems to be completely relatable to the narrative of 'females with ASD' on CZcams and I'm not finding content from other guys with this relatable story. 🤷🏻♂️thanks for sharing
Keep in mind it's a spectrum, and not tied to gender. The male vs. female experience is what is common, however that doesn't mean that there aren't men who present more like the "typical autistic female" and vice versa. Also keep in mind non-binary genders, trans people etc (which there is a high rate of amongst autistic people). IMO it's all about society and nurture. The tendency is still very binary, boys wear blue, they like cars and trains and sports and computers; girls wear pink and like dolls and makeup and clothes. Boys are supposed to be tough and girls are supposed to be nurturing. More pressure is put on girls to be sociable, communicative, smiling etc - which is probably why girls mask more - they feel that pressure and the need to conform to it so as to not become outcasts. It's more socially accepted (maybe even expected?) for boys to be more solitary, not emotional, physical touch-y and all that, so there's fewer reasons for them to hugely mask their differences.
Your experience is valid!
@@xoxoLeony thanks 🙌
You are probably just really good at masking
@@remy9744 I am yes. And now that I am aware of the proper diagnosis I am seeing it all so much more clearly and allowing myself to be more free with those close to me. Feels good! Getting used to it 😄✌️
@@jacobfschaffer I'm trying to do that but it's brought forward so many obstacles
when you mentioned how difficult change is to process, my jaw dropped. you stole every word from my mouth.
i’m educating myself more on neurodiversity and i really enjoy hearing your perspective. thank you for making these videos :)
I started to question me being autistic when my bf’s mother had told me her family members were uncomfortable around me because I didn’t maintain eye contact and spoke in a monotone. I can look someone in the eyes if I’ve known them my entire life or if it’s someone I have an intimate relationship with them. When looking into someone’s eyes, I feel like I can hear there thoughts and they can hear mine. I always try to give eye contact but then feel uncomfortable, so I look away and don’t look them in the eyes for the rest of the conversation. During elementary school teacher should always tell me j was lying when questioned and they knew I was because I didn’t look them in the eyes. I’d get told by the lunch ladies to smile and was always asked by people if I was ok because I looked sad, but in reality, I was happy and stuck in a. Fantasy world I created in my own mind.
People place way too much importance on eye contact. In other animals, direct eye contact can easily be seen as an act of aggression. It's not comfortable for me, and while I did force myself to do that for years, I'm not as willing to anymore over the last few years. I don't like it, and masking, to me, is about pleasing other people and putting their comfort over yours. It's not a big deal. I think it's hurtful you've been around such rude people, honestly. Why did his mother even tell you what any of them think? Did you ask about their shallow thoughts? I can't imagine not liking someone because they didn't make eye contact to my liking or they're monotone. Don't sound like great people anyway.
Hi, I'm not an expert, but from what I studied in university, autists find it hard to decipher facial expressions. So they avoid eye contact beacuse they can't really gather information from there. For you, it sounds like the opposite. But again, I'm not an expert and clearly don't know you... by the way, I also don't like looking in people's eyes. You can look on their nose - they'll think you look in their eyes lol
@@EMILYHERRERA I also suffered extreme abuse as a child, so it could also be because of my complex PTSD. I have no problem looking someone in the eye once I’ve known them for a while and/or am comfortable in their presence. Thank you for your insight.
You may be an empath?
I just got diagnosed today.. waited 2.5 yrs for my NHS appointment. I have to wait for my report 2-3 weeks then have a questions & support meeting this coming month. I’m glad I’m not crazy or mad like I was feeling before getting diagnosed. Intrigued to read the report. I did the Aspie Quiz, RAADS & AQ tests as part of my preparation for assessment. Finally I feel at peace and happy with who I am and I’ve found my tribe. Now the work to learn how to unmask everyday will begin, I’ve done it so long on auto-pilot for decades, it will be quite the journey and challenge.
We have to like train ourselves to fit in society. I literally had to study how to smile cause most of my natural smiles look like 😬 and I was told that’s not a real smile....*whispers* I still think it’s a smile. It’s so damn hard trying to understand why ppl want to do and how they know social rules. Me and my friend have had arguments about it cause I’ll be like “why are you doing this it makes no sense” and she will say “cause it’s what ppl DO”.
Thank you for this it makes me feel less alone knowing there are ppl the same like me.
Omg I found myself smiling at people and then coming home and checking in the mirror if my smile looked genuine or not. I'm always afraid I'd look passively angry or fake like 🙂
haha I'm 43 and I smiling is still very difficult for me.
when i was younger my mum said she didn't like my smile and tried to teach me how to smile but that looked stupid and it wasn't a smile and i just don't know how to smile anymore. I'm 16 and don't know how to smile
@@birdtabloid1704 I don’t know the full situation but that sounds more like PTSD type of situation. You smiled but your parent didn’t like it so they basically bullied you into not knowing how to smile without panicking that you’re doing it wrong or that ppl will hate it. Cause from what you said you smiled. You know how to smile. You just don’t know how to smile to her satisfaction.
@@arabelle567 No apparently my smile was unladylike or something because i was told girls dont smile with their teeth and now when i smile i don't look like i'm smiling it just looks like i'm stretching my face in an unfamiliar and strange way and it doesn't feel right or look right
I'll have my first autism assessment tomorrow, I'm so nervous. Last night i had a nightmare about it
Hey, I know I’m 5 month late but I hope your assessment went well!
Hi I’m 8 months late and I too hope u update us on your assessment🥰
wsp, I'm 1 year late and I hope your assessment went well too 💙
Hey I'm 2 years late I hope your assessment went well ☺️
We are just starting the diagnosis process with my 10yr old daughter, so much of what you say resonates. This is one of the most useful videos I’ve watched. Thank you 🙏
Hi, I also do a series about my autism. That's amazing to hear you study autism in theatre. One of my friends in our final year of college did a thesis on autistic actors. Fair play to you for coming out and filming telling everyone your experience. Not many would be able to do it. You deserve massive credit.
Going on 50...removed from the nursery, a few hours after birth and my mom given a private room because I was disturbing the other infants.. Mom said I was Dx when younger, but she rejected the prognosis I would need to be institutionalized when I got older and grew out of control...I have been conditioned and masking my whole life, but still never fit in, always the outsider ..thank you for your video, your experience seems very similar to mine, and I admire your ambition to help others. Take care of you!
So much of what you spoke about resonated with me; masking/ feeling like my life was just me being difficult, not having a place, not fitting in... constantly feeling like a burden/ tricky for other people. Thanks for sharing.
C a m e l milk is c u r e f o r a u t i s m .
Qu r a n v e r s e c u r e
f o r a u t i s m
Seeking a diagnosis next year after many problems in life. Finally after yet more people have took advantage of me and the issues im having. That was it. I will be turning 30 next year and i don't want to go on wondering for the rest of my life. X
Thank you so much for making this video! I saw a tik tok and learned about how female autism differs with male autism. A lot of things clicked and made me actually wonder if I can be ASD. I’m scared to get tested and I know it’ll change my life, but I’ hoping to get an answer to everything. I’ve always felt something was off with me and knowing there actually is an explanation might give me a sense of relief. Thank you
Emina22 8 I’m in the same position. I’m scared I won’t be believed
i really hope i can learn to unmask someday. i mask so much, when i was 11 they said im not but now at 22 my new therapist has helped me realize im autistic and im scared to go get tested again and get told im wrong and then not be able to get help or ever unmask. im as a female of color so its even harder. i was trying to find females of color who are autistic and i honestly cant find many youtubers or tiktokers who are poc and autistic. it makes me sad for myself to not see myself represented to the fullest idk
Hey! I’m a black woman and I’m pretty sure I have autism. I was thinking about making a video about it. I’m hoping to make more content in the near future (including steaming)
I’m beyond proud of you for making this video!! You talked through the whole thing so beautifully ❣️ I completely understand your frustration with the lack of research on females, I really hope this changes soon! Xx
Awww thank you Nicole
You're about half my age but we have all the same mannerisms. It's amazing. You're doing very well.
Good to hear your experiences. There really isn’t that much of a difference between autistic men and women, at least no more on average than any other male/female cohort - most of us struggle with some of the stereotypical ADOS questions and many men are also diagnosed very late in life with doctors failing to recognise the signs. So in many ways it’s the same story across the board.. We have a lot in common 🙂
Ruby I’ve found your video very informative.
I have ASD (late diagnosis) and have found many of the same issues.
Keep doing your videos they’re helpful to others.
Great video! I definitely relate to a lot of what you said. Best wishes for the future!
i’m just wondering; what sorts of questions do they ask your parents about your childhood?
Thank you for being so open and honest, I can identify with a lot. Much love to you!
Hi Ruby, thanks for sharing your story. My question for your Q&A is how does your ASD affect your personal life e.g. relationships, friendships, home life etc. :)
Thank you!! Such a good question
I also find it difficult to switch between tasks
Thank you for this video. It’s helpful to have an insight into the flaws of the current system. I’m glad you got your diagnosis first time round!
I’m finishing my first year of uni after a decade away from studying. In that decade I have worked with autistic teenagers - I always worked best with them out of all the learning support assistants, and now I know why! I need some support at uni with organisation etc, but the current waiting list on the NHS is two years... and that was BEFORE Covid caused more delays. This means that I wouldn’t get a diagnosis until after I finish uni. Helpful, eh? 😉
SO as soon as lockdown is over, I will organise a private assessment with someone who takes a keen interest in autism in females. It’s a 500-mile round trip (thanks to living in the arse-end of nowhere) and will take a chunk of my student loan to cover, but it’ll be worth the effort.
Part of me is scared that I will walk away without a diagnosis, because of masking or the whole “you’re married, you can’t be autistic”, but another part of me is fairly confident. I’m putting together a list of experiences and reasons for meeting each point of the criteria. If anyone dismisses that, they have no business in trying to diagnose autism. 😉
Ah that was so interesting to read I have so many questions!! What are you studying?? What made you go back to it?? When did you realise? How do you feel your experience helps in your work (I also work with Autistic adults so I feel you). I really hope you get that diagnosis but don't give up if you don't. We gotta beat this shit system!!! Xxx
Hi!! Your research topic sounds so cool!!! I have autism and I love theater and I’m interested in playwrighting and acting!!
Thanks for making this video, the challenges of just getting to a diagnosis appointment decision is a step that often does not get the emphasis deserved and yet can be a stumbling block most unfair for many which the stories and tone of voice and verbal presentations suggests.
So proud of you for filming this xx
Thank you for being a constant inspiration and support 💕 so much love to you xxxx
Hi! You have a great video. I have autism. Television is my dream career. My dream is to be a singer, actor, broadcast, journalist, and author. I was diagnosed with autism at age 3. Your research is very interesting to me. I really like your ideas. That's very good to know that you have a few diagnosis. I have a friend that also has dyslexia. Including my other blood cousin, which I have not met him yet. However, I will meet him in a future. He will be in high school in this fall semester. Again, I really your research. That's very interesting topic. Also, I will be earning my associate's degree in general studies next year in the spring. Then, I will be in a bachelor's degree for radio TV and journalism. My name is Andres by the way. It's pleasure to meet you. Good luck at everything you do. God bless you and your family. 🙏❤
You may not see this comment but for the last year I’ve realised that I could really likely have ASD but I’m worried to say to anyone incase they say I’m overreacting and it’s just normal
Me too!!! I don't know what to do :/ I want to talk about this with someone but The last time I talked about my dyslexia people start to act like everyone have my struggles and this was quite "normal", which make me really upset at time because in my school time I haved so much difficult because of my dyslexia, and even when my mom said that I have it to my professor this didn't chance anything! On of my teachers act like I was overreacting, so took me years to talk about this again, and now that I think I may be on the spectrum I'm afraid to talk about it '-'
I hope the things go well for you!
@@AfraMinelly I'm 28 and starting to think I might have ASD too, hearing lots of women's stories that I can finally relate to... but also don't know whether to go get diagnosed or continue on as usual. I'd love to t know if you got diagnosed in the end?
I just found this video and your other one about asd. I can't wait to see more videos from you. It made me so happy when you said you were in the theatre industry and going to school for it because that's me. I just graduated with my MFA in theatre. I got my asd diagnosis in February. I have known since last year though.
Omg amazing!!! What is your focus??? My whole undergrad changed when I focused it towards disability in the arts it's amazing and now my whole research. I've currently got a show in the works that I'm so excited for!! xx
@@RubyWoodss Scenic Design. I hope your show goes well! The two shows that I was designing got canceled :(
For me, unless it's my husband or a really close friend (I have 1 close friend now) I feel like I cannot breathe if someone touches me or gets in my bubble
Do you think autistics get into theatre because there is a script about how to interact with others? I’m a teacher now, but double majored in theatre. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD and I’m waiting for my psychiatrist appointment for ASD.
I don't know specifically about theatre but I'm in circus performing and there are a lot of Autistic circus performers too. I think a reason could be due to playing a character which is different from themselves. E.g. in real life I'm quiet and don't make eye contact but when I'm performing I'm full of confidence
I'm 26 and haven't been diagnosed with ASD.. I have been diagnosed with GAD and panic attacks, severe ocd and depression. I also have a pain condition that's not diagnosed. I work as an LSA in a secondary school and since working there I have discovered that there is a chance I have a linked form of dyslexia.. With numbers and coordination (dyscalculia and dyspraxia) and the more I learn about autism the more omg that's me moment's I have..
Third time is a charm. Overwhelming amount of good information. Hard to find.
Good video. Continue on your road on getting the silver play button along with interviewing with Chris ULMER of SBSK
I have a known disability since birth ... But I still wondered what wrong with me ... I don't have a diagnosis but I really believe Im autistic as well. Maybe I will speak to a doctor about it. I don't know what he thinks about that ...
Hi Ruby, I love hearing your story. I am currently enrolled into school and we are learning, and having to make an assignment based off of Autism. Would you ever consider answering a couple questions for me? Thank you for your time. x
Hey Ruby, you’re amazing thank you for doing this video! I’m 26 and had my first assessment a month ago. Just waiting on a referral from a clinician.
Weird question, would it be possible for me to read your dissertation? Your masters sounds sooo interesting!
So I did a performative research dissertation based on biographical experience of the diagnostic process and my writing was based on that research that I deliver via live performance. However my masters dissertation is accessible on my website here to have a look at: rubysarahwork.weebly.com/fmp.html xx
@@RubyWoodss thank you so much!! Xx
The covid buggered up my proper autism diagnosis, the psychiatrists say I have aspergers and I was accepted onto the proper screening. I have BPD and ADHD, I'm in the UK too so you know how pants the services are over here.
You are really pretty and Thank you for your Story ! ☺️
Brilliant video, thank you for sharing. A very misunderstood disability! Must have been a marathon to script and record this - especially three times! You should be rewarded your masters for this video!! Can I ask is there any further support you are 'entitled' to now you have an official diagnosis? Drawing your degree further studies, do you think your university would have worked with you differently if you had your diagnosis when you applied? - being cheeky and asking two questions. xx
aww thank you so much Hugh, omg I would love that if I got a MA for this :') god knows it was tricky enough ahahaha xx
@@RubyWoodss It was a really cool film!...sure you will nail the rest of your MA!
xx
i do a lot of eye contac becuase i learned that is the best way to avoid people talking to me , or they will go straight to the point , specially with doctors , i may not be able to talk propertly bexause anxiety or just something else but for some reason eye contac makes people to respect me more
Thank you. 🖤
Beautiful, thank you
Would you be able to link the test?
This was a supposedly competent medical professional who said the clothing you wore or the fact that you had a piercing meant you weren't autistic? Where did he get his degree? A Cracker Jack box?
Thank you for this video, I really resonate with it. I had a similar journey to yours with dyslexia and GAD (and lots of others but I will keep this comment short 😉).
I have been diagnosed with ASD in march 2020 and ever since felt inadequate (pretty ironically) to my local autistic community because I'm too good at masking.
So I feel not legit to speak out as an autistic person and it's confusing.
This is really interesting we are currently going through the diagnostic system for our daughter she's 22 my wife's son is autistic and realised that a lot of problems and behaviours that she was exhibiting were very like her son's her Dr and psychologist say she has moderate to savear she has previously been diagnosed with depression ocd and chronic anxiety also auditory sensory disorders
I realized I Had Asberger at age 28...
never understood for example why people do sit in cirlces. Doesnt make Sense for me
❤
i can relate to a lot of things you listed, one thing i don't understand are ticks, what are ticks and how can i identify them?
Wow. Very interesting info. Ive wondered what autism is like
I got diagnosed when I was 4 and my mom had to fight so hard for me to get diagnosed. If she haddent fought so hard I wouldn’t have gotten diagnosed
great mom!
@@anjachan she really is!
Hi ruby, I’m 23 and there’s absolutely no support for me in my area, I’ve called everyone and any service online but there isn’t any support for adults with asd. How do you cope with this? Is it different for you? I’d love to know. I’m 23 and still have never met or at least known of another female like me before.
Ellie x
I’m in the same situation there’s is absolutely nowhere near me for assessments for adults they’re all just for children and have the name “treatment” in them as if it’s some sort of disease. It’s honestly a bit depressing.
Ooh,your nose ring looks good.
Your hair looks like it smells nice. I am actually worried i wont be believed for diagnosis. I am a man but seem to be resonating with female symptoms... wonder is that is why everyone thought i was gay as a child?
Edit: sorry forgot to tell you i am glad your story is going well,i enjoyed it.
My question as a self identified autist to a certified one. What does it feel like to you?
Excellent video 👍🙏❤️
For me, I need to shower at the same time each day or it won't happen
You are the cutest
I’m struggling to know if I should look more into me possibly having autism but I also have dyslexia and ADHD but do relate to a lot of what your saying so what do you think?
yeah you could do that!
I relate to this soooo much
I am seeking a diagnosis, and the psychologist has scheduled an IQ test for me. Can you tell me why an IQ test is an important component of getting a diagnosis? I am so nervous about it and not sure why I need to take this
Part of the dsm criteria is that the symptoms cannot be dismissed from the presence of a cognitive disability.
I hate how people miss understand A
Make more videooooooooosssssssss
I’m sorry what the hell was going on with it taking YEARS to get a diagnosis
Many women go undiagnosed
that’s a common experience unfortunately, unless you are amab and/or not a heavy masker, it takes an eternity.
I loved hearing your story. I was wondering if anyone considered looking into ADHD with High Sensitivity? Your story of having ASD sounds so much like having ADHD with High Sensitivity so if they did I was wondering what made them different?
So I have SPD and assumed ADHD alongside my Autism but as they are under my umbrella of Autism it's usually just referred to as that. I believe it's some of the key differences that they are able to give one or the other diagnosis that I just present far more with my Autism xxx
(My experience was in the US, so keep that in mind since we use the DSM-5 for psychiatric diagnoses)
When I told my Primary Care Physician (general doctor for checkups) about my life experiences that might be indicative of autism, I was given a temporary diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder and she gave me a referral for a psychiatrist. Upon visiting the psychiatrist, he thought I had enough symptoms throughout my life for ASD, but (at least in his view) he considered autism more of a 'symptom' (like how a cough could be a symptom of bacterial infection, smoking, etc). Upon going through his questions, he concluded that I also had ADHD-inattentive which he believes to be (at least partially) causing ASD. I'm not sure, but I don't think this is a consensus view (but thought it was worth mentioning 🤷♂️)
The more I learn about psychiatric conditions and how they're classified/diagnosed, the more I suspect that the neat, clean boxes that are used for diagnoses are really just for helping healthcare professionals with prescribing treatments 🤔
A helpful distinction I picked up from a cognitive scientist/psychologist researcher (John Vervaeke) is the difference between a system being "rule-governed" vs. "rule-described". For instance, we could say that planetary bodies are described by calculus (ie, rule-described by calc), but they're not *doing* calculus (ie, rule-governed by calc). Same thing applies to talking about playing a game of chess against a computer. We can talk about the computer *as if* it has intentions and is a narrative agent (eg, "It's trying to deceive me", "It wants me to make a mistake so it can win"), but the computer doesn't *actually* care if it wins or loses. So it might be helpful to *describe* it as being a narrative agent, but it's not *governed* by being a narrative agent
I wonder if the same idea applies to the plethora of psychiatric disorders? 🤔 Like, maybe it's helpful to *describe* a cluster of symptoms & behaviors as ADHD, ASD, Major Depressive Disorder, etc., but perhaps those symptoms are *governed* by something quite different (like maybe a case of MDD is caused by a serotonin deficiency or maybe by inflammation of the brain). Even so, psychiatrists like Daniel Amen seem to be dubious about this approach:
"Treatment needs to be tailored to individual brains, not clusters of symptoms."
Amen's TED talk "The most important lesson from 83,000 brain scans" is pretty neat for anyone who's interested
@@RubyWoodss You may find some of the info in psychiatrist Daniel Amen's TED talk interesting/relevant to your research: "The most important lesson from 83,000 brain scans"
czcams.com/video/esPRsT-lmw8/video.html
Why are all these autistic women so good looking? Should perhaps be part of the DSM-6?
Lovely young woman, wish her the best. But one question: if there's no "normal", how is she labelling herself as "not normal" aka ASD? Makes no sense.
So true!! Something I’m more conscious of now - I think it’s hard getting out of language you hear a lot you know x
@@RubyWoodss I am a psychiatrist, and I know it's veeeery hard to comprehend, even to pinpoint, certain symptoms when you're young, even old if nobody has explained them to you... And explained, in here, means explain explain explain show show show (ad infinitum). I can make diagnosis now in 30 seconds that I coudn't even fathom in months 15 years ago, sometimes words are not enough to "see" things than cannot be explained only with words, that's why I tend to tell my patients "don't read anything, you're gonna get even more lost than now". Anyhow, I hope you're doing great, it's been a lovely surprise to receive your answer, didn't spect it at all. Keep it up!!! Best Regards, Jaume.