Kazaam - Nostalgia Critic
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2015
- What do you get when you combine Shaq, Rap, and a horrible plot? You get Kazaam! The Nostalgia Critic bravely reviews this movie of untold horrors!
Originally aired on October 6, 2008.
Watch more Nostalgia Critic here - bit.ly/NCPlayList
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Kazaam is a 1996 American musical fantasy comedy film directed by Paul Michael Glaser, written by Christian Ford and Roger Soffer based on a story by Glaser, and starring Shaquille O'Neal as the title character, a 5,000-year-old genie who appears from a magic boombox to grant a 12-year-old boy three wishes.
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#NostalgiaCritic #Kazaam #Shaq - Zábava
oh look its Vanilla Ice's black counterpart, Chocolate Room Temperature Water
No Chocolate Steam?
sonikku956
that sounds a hell of a lot better lol
Zoë Z. Snazzy yaaaaaaaay.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wouldn't that just be Ice T or Ice Cube?
ObsidianWolf no
its lemonade, read the sign
I like how the joke at the end suggests that the Nostalgia Critic ends up in an alternate universe where Kazaam never existed. I wonder if Shazaam (starring Sinbad) exists in this alternate universe?
Ben Buckley Productions wait there is a so bad one
Pretty sure that's what he was referencing
Kazaam never existed in my home dimension.
We didn't have Shazaam, either.
My god I swear to God I remember an old nostalgia Critic episode where he even references Sinbad in the movie. When someone told me he didn't do it I honestly didn't believe them
Let's Green Egg and Ham It will forever be my favorite bad line in movie history. Thank you Kazaam, thank you.
Same. xD I shout it every time I hear a bad rap song.
deathconceal1 my favorite is "I was frozen today!!!" Use it in every opportunity
It sounds so wrong though
@@venomwise yet it feels so right, also 4 years later Jesus we’re getting old
@@deathconceal1 yes that line although it sounds wrong it’s hilarious the way Kazaam says it lets green egg and hammit
My friend - "So whats your favorite horror movie?
Me - "Kazaam"
My friend - "...the one where Shaq was a genie? That wasn't a horror movie..."
Me - "..You haven't seen Shaq acting have you?
this is a reference to Scary Movie 1
Don't you mean shaqting?
I've imagined an Splatoon remake w/ Pearl as the title character. Maybe it's better than the original.
Son of the Mask fits better than Kazaam IMO
You're Carmen Electra?! : o
"I guess I should have an emotion right now, but I don't want to."
Love that line.
It's probably my favorite line in the whole review to be honest.
That made me laugh because it fits his dull expression so well.
@@hew2356 Exactly! :D
"Oh my god, Shaq's gonna eat me!"
I think the same thing every time I see a can of his craptastic Arizona strawberry soda. He has his "I'mma eat you" face on those things.
At least the cream soda flavor rocked
Soda Shaq! HYDRATE YO BLACKASS!
Soda Shaq was amazing
God I wish they still sold it
+xabies Zamudio Did he actually say that?
“You’ll jiggy jiggy regret it.”
Two seconds later
“Less green eggs an hammit!”
I’m the man who can grant your wishes!
“BISHEZ!”
Let's green egg & ham it!
+Keiläs Philler 'Cuz they didn't PUT THE PUSSY ON THE CHAINWAX!!!
Would you do her / In the box?
Would you do her / Such a fox?
Would you do her / Make it rain?
Would you do her / Pull a train?
I do not like her / Sam-ka-zaam!
I do not like / Green jugs & clam!
***** Well...except that Geisel died in '91 -- 5yrs before "Kazaam" came out...
+Reuter Atwork He could see the future
What?!
"Looking like a Cadbury Egg dressed as Liberace." Oh my gosh, I almost spit green tea all over my computer... it was like an explosion of strange sounding laughter. I lost it again at "Vanilla Ice was blacker than this!"
I work at a hotel reception desk in a small town... I am at work watching this and keep exploding into laughter because of this video, I think if a guest were to come in they would think I have totally lost it.
no
Show it to the guests!
I wish I could have seen that
@@ellocogaspar7784 yes
What the hell is "a talent agent in pirated music"?
could b a fancy term for underground artists, but then again this movie doesnt make sense, so why bother
+AceAttorny Before the internet, there was only the TV and the radio for getting music out there. One of the most popular things to do was set up pirate radio stations, called such because the FCC decided that not only did they own all radio wave frequencies in America, but using them without paying was a crime (they often would broadcast music that could also be found on regular radio without paying for rights or anything, so there was some legitimate piracy going on). This only made pirate radio seem hip, cool, against the man, rebellious, etc. etc. etc. There was legitimate talent on pirate radio so there were legitimate agents working pirate radio, looking for the next big meal ticket I MEAN talent.
Halen2020 ... Huh.
its in the sentence, its a dude who gets money by supporting a guy with a certain talent for singing bad songs
Ditto
Man, you can really tell the difference in energy between old Nostalgia critic and new episodes.
Yeah in the old reviews he actually makes jokes with effort put into them. Nowadays he barely puts in actual jokes, let alone ones that are funny. Now he does silly skits and his own commercials that run almost as long as half of his reviews that aren't funny.
He mostly phones it in these days and is clearly going through the motions because it's clear he doesn't want to be doing the whole critic character schtick anymore so he barely even plays the character save for his opening tagline. It's night and day, and the dark and dawn are equally shrouded in shadow.
@@loneronin6813 plus Tamara and Malcom aren't funny and he doesn't need them. He never did.
@@K-dawg26 Agreed. He always made a better solo act, although he did have the occasional co-review and those were usually ok up to a point.
@@loneronin6813 *_"Yeah in the old reviews he actually makes jokes with effort put into them."_* That and a whole lot of screaming and cursing.
The new ones still have funny jokes and reviews, labyrinth and cats
10:03 NC: That's sad when breakfast is the best actor in this movie.
NC Steel review, "The soiflee is the most developed character in this movie."
So basically inanimate objects can rap better than Shaq
Shaq is the ultimate guilty pleasure. He seems genuinely nice
He was my second favorite basketball player growing up.
13:32
"nothing to do but mock this scene with totally inappropriate music"
AND I- [total silence to avoid copyright]
"Due to reasons of vengeance" is still the best excuse for an absence ever.
SonofMrPeanut
Yeah, it was because of his fight with the AVGN. This episode came out in 2008 and that was when their 'fight' happened.
nostalgia critic is a riot; especially about the pervert jokes
Adrianna De Vega He is crazy! I always like his reviews, he is just hilarious
I love him!
IKR!! LMFAO!!! He'll ALWAYS be funnier than these candyasses known as MysteriousMrEnter and his butt buddy PhantomStrider8. MEGA LULZ!!
@@Wishbone4evr
Love NC too! But Phantomstrider is my fav. 💜
I love going back to the Critic's old reviews.
Yes.
2007-2012 are his best years.
He still does a really great job with his newest episodes.. but it's still nice seeing the old stuff
no.@@doctorwhoscpblitzkrieg770
Holy shit… I remember this. I buried it, deep down… but the spray paint scene brought it all back 😱
You poor thing!
TheStanishStudios same thing with he-man😳
Dont you remember the days when kids will tease you and randomly spray paint your outline against the floor
Time to green egg and ham it up!!! ;)
Kimani Wilson-Hunte Still a better Dr. Suess adaptation than The Cat in the Hat
Kimani Wilson-Hunte GO HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha funny!
That sounds like my new favorite innuendo.
Seen this review like ten times, and each time I've tried several times to catch what he actually says there. Cheers. That is indeed awful :)
Kazaam: Djinn only exists in fairy tales and I don't believe in fairy tales.
Me: Here I thought Peter Pan not believing in fairy tales in Pan was stupid but Kazaam’s claim is dumber.
But, this especially stupid when you find out that genies and djinn and literally the same things.
@@AN474-e1o Lol! So true.
It's also probably sacrilegious considering how djinn are actual beings in Islam.
Hey its Vanilla Ice in a parallel universe... Hot Chocolate
4:50 I love that he threw in the Herbert the Pervert joke!
You know, with the right degree of acting, and a good director, I think Shaq could pull off a action star. He certainly has the intimidating size and build, or rather he did
+Russell Danis (Korvas Terindar) I think he has some potential. As of this movie, though, I gotta say Dolph Lundgren acted better. That might actually be pretty cool to see; Shaq vs Lundgren(just don't let Shaq make Lundgren hit him full strength, Lundgren put Stallone out for a while when Stallone wanted their boxing to look authentic).
They tried that, it resulted in the disaster known as Steel
an action*
Fun fact: Genies are thought to be based on "dust devils" so the swirling tornado actually kinda fits.
The genie from Aladdin was funnier than Kazaam.
Of course. There's noway Shaq could top the late, great Robin Williams.
The genie from Aladdin was Robin Williams. Of course he was funnier.
Prince Stormstrider Well, that goes without saying.
Prince Stormstrider to the point where I feel like comparing them is an insult. *Ofc Aladdin's genie was better!!* RIP Robin Williams. That's like comparing gold to glitter covered dog poo.
Prince Stormstrider of course he was he was voiced by robin Williams that's like saying Mel Brookes is funnier than a piece of toast YEA THINK
8:38 I frecking LOL at this part!!!!!!!!
Let's green egg and ham it!
I guess someone's a huge fan of Green Eggs & Ham when he/she wrote the Screen Play. @@SuperPiposaru
"Let's green egg and ham!"
-Shaquille O'Neal, 1996
Nice biggie reference
Shaqtin' A Fool: THE MOVIE!
2:41. That Taz Mania gag takes me back to my childhood.
Not defending the concept by any means, but in mythology genies were literally magical slaves to whoever they owed their service to, but they often tricked their masters into wasting their wishes thus freeing the genie from servitude
So, what you're saying is Genies are practically magical slaves with a personality of a pestering managerial boss?
This kid tried to do the same thing Aladdin did with the genie, use his powers without technically making a wish.
However, Aladdin was subtle about doing it & tricked him. This kid openly announcing his intentions should have been met with "sorry I only respond to wishes." Well, in rhyme of course.
The movie came in like a wrecking ball....!
god... damnit... nappa...
9:12 a family picture
MrHothead099 you know, for kids!
8:44 What is this Seuss Doggy Dog!? I mean that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life! That's something an infant says when he's just learning how to read!
I really wish it was Shazam instead of Kazaam.
Oh really a dc character's movie is made by dc?
I mean technically Shazam/Captain Marvel was originally another comic book companies property, but was actually bought my sc.
Them marvel whined about the name captain marvel even though dc had the character even before marvel existed so now he goes by Shazam.
@@jacobhogan3208 They might referring to a different genie from the 90s called Shazam staring Sinbad. But that movie is another example of the Mandela Effect
The bastard child of Mario and Saddam Hussein. Funny!
Also, that Sha Fu reference.
Imagine a movie about Kanye West as a genie where he serves Jared Fogle
i'd prefer not to
Wow....a joke about a rapper becoming a GENIE...? IN 2008??
DOUG WALKER was really ahead of his time!
Paul Mark Glasser (The Director of Kazaam) was in Fiddler On The Roof (1971)
Bad touch!
911 Emergency? There's a tall man who's been stalking this kid, giving him treats and now he's touching him while in his bed and wearing his pajamas! HURRY!!!!
NOW HE'S BATHING IN FRONT OF HIM! THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT HE'S GONNA DO NEXT! HURRY!!!
HE'S KISSING HIM! WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED!?!
Those three things are hard to jusify, though.
ok, question.
am I the only one who played the PS2 game "Harry Potter: Quiddich World Cup" and couldn't get stop laughing that same music that was used during the intro of this is played over the opening cinematic of that game?
dark lord of sword I know this comment is dead but I must know if this is true lyrics and everything.
Have you watched the Callmekevin lets play of that game, trust me its good.
"Let's Green Egg and Ham it"
"WHAT?!?"
13:10 made me laugh so much milk squirted out my nose, and I'm drinking water.
LMAO! nice
🤣😂
Damn! Looks like Shaq is gonna rip that guy's skeleton out of his asshole!
Now THAT'S talent!
14:00 "I should've been the one to fill your dark soul with liiiiight!!!"
"Let's green egg and ham it " I can only imagine Dr Seuss reaction to that
man, wouldn't it be awesome to see nostalgia critic actually review the shaq album with rap critic, I don't know it just seemed it would be cool.
I regrettably saw that film. Never getting those hours back.
Hard to believe Shaq was only 24 when he acted in the movie.
"Acted"
23 actually. It was filmed during the offseason in 1995. It would've been hard to do the same in 1996 as Shaq was a part of the USA olympic team that year.
Shaq's acting is something you have to witness with your own eyes to believe how bad it is.
"A Cadbury egg dressed like Liberace."
LOLOLOLOL!!
"let's green egg and ham it " my goodness that's horrendous
If you think this is bad, check out shaq's rap album. Yes he has a rap album.
TheSuperBigPunch Say WHAT now?! Welp, there goes my faith in humanity
no, he doesn't! he has several albums, actually.
Michael Goldwater That's WORSE!
TheSuperBigPunch Im not surprised, "Macho Man" Randy Savage has a rap album too, im not joking. It includes a diss track directed at Hulk Hogan
Smith Curry Pick any of the above.
whats sad is that the recent shaq fu game is actually not that bad, its kinda fun, and self aware
I am now going to use "Green Egg & Ham It" in everyday speech...
6:30 *careless whisper starts playing*
3:35 - accurate representation of what Shaq did to his reputation
13:39 Shaq: Guess i got to eat him...
All things considered, it's not like an athlete has to fail at being an actor. The Rock ended up being a great choice for Maui from Moana. And hell, he put on a pretty good musical number as well.
Appplsskings cobmessdersditessditsgodss
Shaq's starting to get ridiculous in his endorsements again. o.o I literally sat there and watched a Gold Bond commercial, and then an Icy Hot commercial, and it took me till almost the end of the Icy Hot ad to realize I was watching two different commercials because Shaq was in both of them! He's also sponsoring The General Insurance now for some reason...
The same reason Katherine Heigl is doing those stupid cat food commercials: money. Gotta pay those bills.
I see Shaq's face every time I pay my insurance.
Well, at least his latest endorsement isn't half bad-Shaq fu-A legend reborn.
@@brandonmiles86 she screwed herself over by being impossible to work with apparently
6:37
Well, the boy's actor is half Dominican. But who cares? Slavery is slavery.
Well every race in human history has enslaved some other race. Downside of being conquered
2:18 “he went through a hole! What do we do?”😂😂😂😂this is the best part of the review ever
Bad touch scenes always get me 😂
11:45 are you sure this isn’t dc comics
0:26 Maybe the funniest thing Ive ever heard Doug say. I died
That green egg and ham shit was lit af lmao
The kid actor's name is Francis Capra, but he's not related to a certain well-known director with a similar name. Anyway, look up the photo IMDB has of him now. Not so fun fact- his bio says his father was in jail most of Francis' life and was killed when Francis was 19 or 20.
He's also the little brother from Free Willy 2.
"Vanilla Ice was blacker than this" XD
Shaq roaring like a T-Rex while the Mortal Kombat theme plays in the background is the baddest ass thing I will ever see, I'm positive of it.
I almost forgot this movie existed😂. Also, anyone else notice how they use the name “Max” in almost every movie
Don’t worry. In the future we get a rapping genie that’s WAY better.
0:59 oh gawd space jam (original) was more watchable than this
I miss the old Nostalgia Critic! Back before these pointless skits taking up 90% of the review and the whole CA controversy! Can we please go back to these days?
What does CA stand for
Sirocco Ferrari Channel Awesome
Longing for or thinking fondly of a past time or condition? I think there's a word for that. 🧐
I was about to say that. I still think Doug is a brilliant comedic writer. I think he should move on to work on his own projects. He’s not terrible, his reviews are still pretty solid imo, but I think he got to the point where he has to move on in a different direction. I think he should do at least more serious, less geeky movie analysis, or trying writing/filmmaking.
I actually like him better now. He's less shouty. And I like the skits.
"Vanilla Ice was blacker than this"
-ohh BURN!!!!!!
This is one of my guilty pleasure movies that I really cant defend except for the fact that I watched it as a kid and liked it then so its pure nostalgia. :P
However it does bug me when Kazaam talks about "Djinn means free" knowing that the Djinn, which is what the legend of Genies are based on, want to destroy humanity because we stole this world from them and they are banished to another realm...so... evil is freedom I guess?
In another culture, Djinn are creatures that live in our world, can see us, but we can't see them. Some djinn are good, and others are fiendish, with the fiends being known as Devils. Some djinn are mischievous, and are mistaken for ghosts because the manipulate real life objects. No one is sure how they look like, but it is said that you will see them 1 second before immediately dying. The sight of them will instantly kill you.
And I just replied to a 3 month old comment.
+President Coriolanus Snow I am replying to a one month old reply so don't feel too bad
thedeadlypacifist I shall now set the bar in responding to a TWO YEAR old comment! Ha!
Please...three years for me, anybody in the future want to make it four?
man this brings back good memory's i know it is goofy but man i cant help but have a soft spot in my heart for this movie i just love this movie
That must be what happened to the Sinbad movie Shazam, that so many people claim to remember. The movie was so bad that when Doug reviewed it he wished that it never existed.
This movie could have been good, with better casting and writing.
His reaction to the kid coming out of the glass of water is honestly pretty funny
NEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRFFFFFF!
Or nothin'.
0:04 ok who's getting the axe?
i have to admit Shaq making that villain a ball was pretty awesome
That shaq/mortal kombat crossover was the best thing i never knew i needed
5:50 my reaction to that Cats trailer
For the longest time I thought this movie was called "Shazam!"
8:35. Oh come on! Vanilla Ice was blacker than this!
"A horror movie with Shaq as a strange man with an evil grin offering treats to get little boys to go with him."
...Sweets for the sweet? :P
Seriously though, I could easily see someone like Tony Todd (of Candyman fame) playing a horror movie version of Kazaam that does offer three wishes in order to convince young children to follow him wherever he may lead. Once three wishes are made, their souls belong to him.
Yes it's a dumb idea I put about five seconds of thought into, but it might end up being better than the actual Kazaam movie. For the record, I am well aware that Candyman doesn't actually use candy and that the quote, "Sweets for the sweet," doesn't actually have anything to do with candy either.
is it me or is this much better quality than the other older episodes?
Pause at 2:07 and you will see Pedro before he moved to Idaho to meet Napoleon. This probably explain we he was so sheltered, and shy.
Who else thinks this movie inspired I am bread
Because of the French toast and the CGI look a lot like I am bread
Felipe Alvarez We had the same thought, it seems.
Felipe Alvarez one problem people found enjoyment from i am bread so cant be true
Brendan McCabe true
Felipe Alvarez Except I Am Bread came out in 2014 and this movie came out like in the 80's.
NC: There's nothing to do now but mock this emotionally lacking moment with totally inappropriate music.
Copyright: Yeah, right!
I would have rather watched Shazam, with Sinbad...& that never existed.
I KNOW! a while ago I was searching for NC's review of this movie and I thought the movie was called Shazam but it turns out that it's called Kazam not Shazam
The Laughing FoxX It was better than this movie, I remember it clearly. It existed in one reality.
@@anotheraccountididntneedto7222 multiverse experiment
A Time Traveler Erased That Movie From Existence.
Shaq is love, Shaq is life
B A D T O U C H!
Indeed
"Just because a man can make a decent free throw"
But Shaq can't make free throws
Anybody remember Shaqs dumb ass part at the end of Freddie got Fingerd?
You should search for Aries Spears impersonation of him, it's funny as shit, and his Charles Barkley is great too.
Kazaam was one of my FAVORITE childhood films! I always dreamed of pancakes and chocolate bars falling from the sky!
12:42 - 13:28
Unironically the best part of the review
It's pretty funny that Shaq and B.I.G. also did a song together. 😂
What?
This is one of three movies I have walked out on.
I don't think this was the first NC review I've ever watched but it's the one that got me hooked