Overcoming Entrenched School Refusal
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- čas přidán 16. 06. 2021
- A six-point plan for parents for getting school-refusing children back to school.
to learn more about SPACE, parent-based treatment for child anxiety and OCD, visit: www.spacetreatment.net
#anxiety #absenteeism #school refusal
Point 6 is has worked for my son. Thanks to going to school with a friend, my son with OCD has missed school only once this semester, and that one day his friend was sick. Last year, he was chronically absent, even with a reduced schedule and very involved teachers. His struggles with school are not over, but now he is taking the first step--getting there. He feels much better about himself, which is huge.
What if they have no friends or friends aren't able/willing?
I keep seeing professionals claim is a situation that's totally diagnosable. It isn't applicable to my son. He just genuinely doesn't enjoy school work. He doesn't want to go. We home schooled him to control the education he was receiving. The teachers he encountered would overlook him when he was struggling. He needed more attention to ensure he committed to it. But even home schooling he fought and argued doing the work too. He is very smart and intelligent and I believe that to be a big issue as well. He learns things very quickly and he's able to teach himself just by viewing examples. It's quite impressive. However he cannot be motivated to do it. This gentleman is very knowledgeable and helpful to some regard. But most isn't applicable to our situation unfortunately. Thank you for the information.
I’m in the same situation. My son was excited for school but quickly became disappointed when he wasn’t learning anything new. This is why gifted kids need gifted education. We waited too long to homeschool and the damage is done.
School is institutional anti-education. It takes an intelligent kid to recognise that so soon.
My son is the same as yours 😢
I will implement the 6 points and will be back with testimonies. Thank
School refusal is soooo hard. My daughter is struggling with this right now. We're on a waiting list for therapy, but it has spiraled in the meantime.
hi I am in this situation right now. No school, awaiting therapy. I see your post was made 1 year ago. Can I ask you how things are going now, and did the therapy help at all?
I’m in this position right now. He hasn’t gone since September only seven days the whole school year. We’ve had a pre-screening for some kind of therapy that’s in addition to his normal therapists and we’re on a waiting list that could be 45 to 90 days. My husband died last year so that’s made things very difficult. I don’t know what his problem is. Nobody’s been able to tell me why he won’t go to school and he won’t say anything. I’m beginning to think he’d be better off in a foster home with both parents maybe siblings or something I don’t know how it works but he’s definitely not thriving with me.
The school Principal does this at my daughters school to try and help I agree with point 6 and feel this is the most effective when done consistently over a month
I’ve been learning a lot about autism and nuerodivergent children because my daughter who has school refusal and severe anxiety ( mostly triggered by school and sometimes triggered by over crowded or loud places such as malls and grocery stores ) seems to be showing signs that could be autism that she kept hidden all her life. They call it masking and done kids can do that well, especially girls . I don’t know for sure if she’s autistic but I’ve just been reading a lot about it and we are currently seeking diagnosis. I heard that forcing an autistic child into an environment that causes them great anxiety can cause ptsd in them . Shouldn’t we be having kids checked for such things before we force them into situations that are not suitable for them ? I feel like all the forcing we did to get my daughter into school traumatized her to the point that she can’t even open a school book now . She used to be scared of malls and grocery stores to but I was able to help her overcome that by planning pleasant activities together with her ( I called them our mother daughter days ) at malls and quieter places while also empathizing with how she’s feeling . I put the control in her hands by telling her to let me know when it gets to be too much and we can leave .( I saw a video that talked on how someone experiencing anxiety attacks has lost their sense of control and safety and they need that to overcome the anxiety. ) It worked and now she asks me if we can go to the mall together all the time . This is a huge improvement from staying in her room all the time not even wanting to leave the house . She may not have autism, it could be agoraphobia…. Idk yet but it seems to me that what a person experiencing anxiety needs is a sense of control and safety . To know that they get to take the steps forward when THEY are ready . Forcing something too much only seemed to break my child more . It’s possible though that we just haven’t experienced what’s on the other side of forcing her through it to see if after all that she actually did get better . There just seemed to be no other side where she overcame it . It just kept getting worse the more we pushed. For my daughter the forcing ended in her freezing in place, hyperventilating and scratching sores into her wrist . That was the final straw for me . I didn’t feel it was wise to keep pushing at that point and now I’m wondering if for some children this pushing doesn’t help them overcome it but rather gives them ptsd or severe depression and self harm , especially if they have something undiagnosed such as autism. Shouldn’t schools be required to mention this too the parents so they know their suggestions aren’t going to cause more harm ?
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I also get that there needs to be sensitivity around bring these possibilities up with parents and to let them know it may not be the case , it’s just important to know before proceeding . Often times people don’t look autistic , adhd , agoraphobic, etc.
it seems finding the root cause is important to knowing the best route to a solution rather than a one size fits all approach .
I have also heard that a root cause could be about a child’s beliefs about themselves that they picked up somewhere whether it be from school itself or otherwise . Such beliefs as not being good enough and that once we tackle the root cause , this will be a big step in overcoming the anxiety
Agreed. With different diagnosis like asd technology is actually a way to self regulate. Regulating emotions and the fight/flight response is key to overcoming phobias and anxiety. Some of these suggestions will cause neurological meltdowns with an ASD child. He does say it won’t work for some children, but it would be helpful to list some that it won’t work for.
Thank you for posting your comment. I am currently dealing with this and hope to find help. This information is a step in the right direction.
I have the same problem i have not been to school since 2 months , i just cant get myself to , i ensure my familly that i will go but the next morning i just cant do it , also i am really introverted shy and quiet in public someone please tell me what should i do
Wonderful video. God bless you
How do you know if an expectation is reasonable for a child's functional level? What if they don't meet the expectation put in place for weeks on end?
Then it shows that have the willpower to not be bullied by everyone they know into attending a brain-rotting depression factory.
Thankyou so very much for doing this very important video. We school staff are very grateful
Thanks, I hope it helps!
Very helpful! Thanks so much.
Glad it helps!
When your child has no friends? How do you approach number 6?
My question is about someone who is intellectual disabled and severe autism?? Had been having school refusal since TK .. Kindergarten , first, second, third, fourth. Not 5th because it was at home learning. Now 6th grade and I struggle
Public school is not the right fit for your child.
School is bad for every child.@@lisabrigali8582
This is all great information and seems doable. However, what about the siblings? No screens for 24 hours? What if I want to watch tv with my son? Do I have my SA child go up to her room so she can’t watch? The seems very harsh and punitive, not to mention isolating. Also, if they don’t have their phones, how are school staff and family members to call them?
do you not have a phone? My NT child often asks for time on her own tablet rather than watching with my ND child so she'd be fine with this...
You can learn better on your own. School brainwashed you by suppressing born talents. I loved comedy, acting but 'teachers' tried to change me. I walked out and was tutored. To Hell with schools!!!
Ok MAGA
Very true
@@kbanghart MAGA is a direct result of school degrading everyone's critical thinking skills.
When the hell did so many people become so anxious about everything?
Cell phone/screen addiction.
After covid
Too much fear implemented also over social media, having to be validated etc...
Anxiety isn't a new experience or invention. Decades ago we would lobotomize people and believed in blood letting, before that we put holes in people's skulls to let out demons.
Some modern economic, cultural, and technological changes affect anxiety rates, in different ways in different countries, but it's not one single cause.
School is nothing more than indoctrination by the state. If your kid resists, it’s because they’re smart.
Unfortunately point 2 is not good advice. A distressed, anxious, depressed child needs the opposite of point 2.
Follow Dr Naomi Fisher clinical psychologist who completely disagrees with this. The child is likely burnt out and traumatised and you will cause additional trauma by taking away their special interests, comforts (devices), and ruining your relationship when what they need is for you to have their back and be their advocate and trusted person. They need connections and compassion. Not punishments for the fact that school is failing to meet their needs.
School stinks and teachers too.
my son uses very similar words to that