Soul Connection 35 - Extramarital Affair - What to do about it ? - Sr Shivani (English)

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  • čas přidán 18. 12. 2011
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    Join Sister Shivani who shares in this video that partners often drift away due to rejection in a relationship. It is an emotional wound that we need to help the other person heal by creating pure positive thoughts for them and accepting them as they are.
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Komentáře • 2K

  • @minisingh29
    @minisingh29 Před 4 lety +312

    I don't understand society's obsession with having people live together even if they are not right for each other, and even if there are other people out there who might be better matches for both parties. Sometimes you realize that you are with someone who is not right for your temperament only after getting married. Why hold someone captive just because there is a piece of paper that says they must live with you? Wouldn't it be a lot better to be with someone who lives with you because they want to? And not because they HAVE to?

    • @proudhindustani214
      @proudhindustani214 Před 4 lety +9

      Exactly

    • @anithabharadwaj5595
      @anithabharadwaj5595 Před 4 lety +7

      How true !!

    • @mgupta3525
      @mgupta3525 Před 4 lety +34

      Problem is not that the wife will get bored of the second one too everyone should learn to compromise and adjust a little. Today girls are like that only they find someone good today then tommorow get bored of him and same with second one too.

    • @silverstar71000
      @silverstar71000 Před 3 lety +2

      Exactly my thoughts!!

    • @carolinapaez2309
      @carolinapaez2309 Před 2 lety +14

      Absolutely. The answer is religion. Creating guilt and shame for just being human. It is all about social control over women.

  • @kristasingh1976
    @kristasingh1976 Před 4 lety +366

    Sometimes relationships are better to let go once it becomes toxic to endure. Enduring pain in relationship continously does put one soul or both in lifetime of torture and distress.

    • @manjarishree
      @manjarishree Před 3 lety +13

      Yes not applicable for violence....this works in situation where emotional satisfaction is not there....then one is ready to mend....then we can try...

    • @narendermalik4126
      @narendermalik4126 Před 2 lety +1

      @@manjarishreep

    • @narendermalik4126
      @narendermalik4126 Před 2 lety +1

      @@manjarishree ll lo

    • @pinkyranjan9013
      @pinkyranjan9013 Před 2 lety

      I need help

    • @liblib1815
      @liblib1815 Před 2 lety +3

      @@manjarishree but how do someone mend emotional side ? I think it is impossible for someone to try to become like the lover to provide the same kind of emotions.

  • @anilsah2692
    @anilsah2692 Před 4 lety +30

    Yeah women who are looking for emotional connectivity from their men are inclined to feel rejected.....very true Shivani mam

  • @videndanoor3408
    @videndanoor3408 Před 4 lety +41

    This woman is exceptional, she just explained how to heal a relationship after an affair better than any psychologist out there. Her explanation , her view and intelligence amazes me.

  • @narmadabhat44
    @narmadabhat44 Před 3 lety +169

    Hats off to her thinking. I wish atleast one person should be there like her in the family.. and that person could be YOU🙏🙏

  • @Kia_ra_96
    @Kia_ra_96 Před 6 lety +465

    She is most positive soul I could ever hear from on this earth
    She totally changed my thoughts on this topic

    • @pradeepsarmalkar6990
      @pradeepsarmalkar6990 Před 4 lety +3

      You are perfectly 💯 right

    • @meena6044
      @meena6044 Před 4 lety +5

      You must be a higher soul,may be going towards twin flame journey dear,God bless

    • @stefanmitrovic973
      @stefanmitrovic973 Před 3 lety

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    • @vandanamishra3986
      @vandanamishra3986 Před 3 lety

      Hindi me bataye

    • @meerat9502
      @meerat9502 Před 2 lety +1

      Hats off to u sister Shivani atleast one person should be there like u in a family

  • @thoughtsbychitra427
    @thoughtsbychitra427 Před 5 lety +32

    I m also married,I was also frustrated with everyone. I was thinking no body cares,no one appreciates me.1 year I used to blaming others but sis shivanis inspirational thoughts and her 1 speech when I saw my married life became magically happiest. Everyone u should remember that what u gives to other u will get it back.and I used this formula give love,respect and in short give other what u expect u should get from others.easy way.

    • @kundrapuharitha5187
      @kundrapuharitha5187 Před 2 lety +3

      It's not so easy...
      It happens only when there is misunderstanding..
      People who are jealous, greedy and toxic who follow others foot steps willnever change...
      All they want is to satisfy their ego...
      Every time our self esteem stoops down to a new low..
      Losing all self confidence and finally will become a wreck..
      Ego is bad
      We should leave.ego for betterment of our relationship
      Not at the cost of self respect
      When people hate you for nothing
      What ever you do can't satisy them
      That's what i have learned sacrificing half of my life
      Better to be far away from such people.

  • @TamilFreelanceCoaching
    @TamilFreelanceCoaching Před 4 lety +44

    The calmness within this lady is unlike anything I have ever seen.

  • @pavithramowli
    @pavithramowli Před 5 lety +103

    Send people positive thoughts, feelings, and affirm that your relationship is healed and perfect, watch your relationships heal, it's not magic, it's a law, it will work. Sending everyone who reads this only love, kindness, and lots of positive thoughts.

    • @manojsharmapcsclasses4627
      @manojsharmapcsclasses4627 Před 3 lety +2

      Aissa practically nahi hota hai

    • @manishakumari-it2me
      @manishakumari-it2me Před 3 lety +2

      @@manojsharmapcsclasses4627 yes it happens practically too...

    • @manojsharmapcsclasses4627
      @manojsharmapcsclasses4627 Před 3 lety

      @@manishakumari-it2me how can you explain it happens agar Aissa hota to life ki bahut saari problem dur ho jata ex, ek parents Apne bigde Hui bachhe Ko kitna achhi achhi baton se samjhayenge hai Lekin us par koi asar nahi padta hai ek broken relationship ek partner dusre partner ke liye achhi achhi bate sochta hai but uska relationship theek ho pata hai aisse unlimited ex hai to fir aapka law kaha kaam karta hai

    • @manishakumari-it2me
      @manishakumari-it2me Před 3 lety

      @@manojsharmapcsclasses4627 ye law tab kaam karta hai Jab aap thinking level pe pure devotion ke Saath aise thoughts logon ke liye sochte ho......outer level also when u talk with them but constantly on your subconscious level u send and wish positive things and love for them......if someone can do this ...then there is no relationship in this world which can't be healed.......but u have to believe in it or in other person entirely with pure heart .....

    • @ruchikagupta4726
      @ruchikagupta4726 Před 3 lety

      Meri marriage life problem ko ek guruji ne solve Kiya hai jinka contact number sabhi ke sath share kr rhi hu +91-8295510157 innhone sirf 2 hi din me mere husband ko wapis Meri Life me la diya mere husband ka kisike sath affair tha uske liye wo mujhe divorce dena chahte the Me bohat depression me thi tabhi Meri ek friend ne mujhe in guruji se contact krwaya or aaj me bohat khush hun ap bhi Meri tarah preshan na ho isliye aap bhi inse contact krna or apka Kam hone ke bad Dusron ki help bhi krna ,thank you so much guruji..
      Hhjjk

  • @jessicadeshpande7988
    @jessicadeshpande7988 Před 4 lety +19

    I have seen people forgive and get back with their ex who cheated on them..
    And they keep on doing the same thing again and again until the cheating party completely destroys you... Where forget taking care of yourself you won't even be able to take care of your kids...
    Best celebrity example...
    Deepika padukone and Ranbhir kapoor..
    And many of personal people I have met...
    One can forgive but can't forget...
    Even if you get back... You can't trust again...

  • @staceydenise5538
    @staceydenise5538 Před 2 lety +24

    The problem are the thoughts. Sometimes we think the grass is greener on the other side. If you don't settle your own mind and keep looking for love outside yourself, you will keep chasing the feeling. If you haven't done the work on the inside, you may keep creating the same drifting relationships from the ladies perspective.

  • @user-ru5oe3jg8i
    @user-ru5oe3jg8i Před dnem

    Thankyou very much sister ❤my friend is suffering from emotional illness.he was having a extra marital relationship.i will guide him the right way through this video.❤

  • @jazzwithjiggy
    @jazzwithjiggy Před 5 lety +131

    I was very insecure about getting into relationships regarding cheating and hook up, but now I am motivated and able to understand her point of view.

    • @radhikaradz7072
      @radhikaradz7072 Před 3 lety +11

      You should trust in yourself. Do not make others stories become yours

    • @s.abdulsalam220
      @s.abdulsalam220 Před 2 lety +4

      Excellent solution by this marvelous lady, still solution to such problems can't be generalised. Like neglect from of the couple, many other causative factors too play an important role. Example, sexual deficiency, abnormal lust feelings, neglect and easy going attitude etc. So, no doubt the advice is extremely great, still can not heal all the erring

    • @daisymoodley8735
      @daisymoodley8735 Před 2 lety +1

      Iam married for 35 years but it's not rosy my husband is not prepared to let go off me but he had an affair with a woman up until 2008 then she past on I caught him to many times but I forgave him for the sake off the kids they were small at that time

    • @daisymoodley8735
      @daisymoodley8735 Před 2 lety +1

      But then he started changing his pin on his phone then I got suspicious again an caught him again with msg s he changed his pin again an he denied it he said his friend used his phone but its a lie I know he's lying an he gets away an act normal again iam now married for 35 years need advice

    • @sheelanair6753
      @sheelanair6753 Před 2 lety +5

      @@daisymoodley8735 nothing can be done at this stage. If you are able to live alone kick him and file for divorce. Once a cheater always a cheater. They wont change. I left my hell called marriage after wasting my precious 25 yrs😡

  • @umeandwe9952
    @umeandwe9952 Před 5 lety +99

    It's better to let the person live his/her life as they want.. relationship must not be forced but must be freeded ...coz we are human beings... we love a life of freedom and not of bondage... If it was I then would had allowed my hubby to live his life as he prefers... Rather to ill force him to be with me and die..

    • @nazishali1730
      @nazishali1730 Před 5 lety +1

      Absolutely

    • @manand85
      @manand85 Před 5 lety +22

      It's very easy to say this Shalomi. Better not to comment if you are not in the situation. Hopefully God never puts you in such a situation but if you were to be it will be interesting to see your actual behaviour. WE DONT KNOW WHAT WE DONT KNOW

    • @umeandwe9952
      @umeandwe9952 Před 5 lety +9

      @@manand85 I have seen many families undergoing such kinds of problems and ending in crime and loneliness..And as per I am perfect in my decision whatsoever I take... I made myself bold to become strong in these kinds of situations...you may not but I can... For to me freedom of human beings is important...Now what you think is upon you.. No one can change my mind except God.

    • @thephenom9881
      @thephenom9881 Před 4 lety +3

      @@umeandwe9952
      But most women can't make a decision like yours.👉 You are one among the few. They keep him around & continue to nag him not caring how he feels until he dies completely.

    • @ssudhha4882
      @ssudhha4882 Před 4 lety

      nazish ali hj
      Ml

  • @bpcp3720
    @bpcp3720 Před 3 lety +49

    Aa per osho, let them liv. Sometimes if we just keep adjusting, the other person will take you for granted. All don't realise their mistakes. Once a cheater always a cheater. A scar remains life long. Back stabbing cheating kills the spouse. Trust is gone forever. Better to separate and do your duties

    • @ananya.a04
      @ananya.a04 Před 3 lety +3

      Agreed

    • @pranavom
      @pranavom Před 3 lety +5

      Completely prejudiced, once a cheater always a cheater is not true in all cases, cheating is a symptom it's not the disease. The disease is something else. There are many couples who understand this reconcile and have a happy life together. The other thing is, ours is a male chauvinistic society, if a male commits this, it's seen as a common waywardiness and the society tries to brush it away. If a woman commits such a mistake because she has been a disturbed soul, the society slut shames her. Ofcourse a male or a female will walk out of a happy marriage and do this, they are altogether a different class. But what if a wife was ignored, emotionally abused, then she did this! If both the partners have mutual respect and the person who committed the mistake is remorseful and ready to do anything to make things work, then they are going to make a beautiful chapter. Humans are so insignificant that even when someone truly apologises, our ego doesn't give way to forgive them. Their actions are lying in the past which the other partner cannot change no matter what. It's the present and future that matters. Remember, one can always wake up next day to be a better person, then whatever happened till yesterday will no longer be significant.

    • @ananya.a04
      @ananya.a04 Před 3 lety +7

      @@pranavom people say they are sorry, yet they repeat the same mistakes all the time. It’s not what they say, it’s what they do. I agree with your chauvinist society point, but it is in the rarest of cases where the man or woman is capable of performing true penance. 99% of the time, they are just looking for a free pass to cheat once again. The adrenaline and the excitement from the experience keeps gnawing in the inside of their minds and most of them succumb to it again and again until it becomes a habit. Change always comes from the inside, no amount of love and consolation from the partner’s end can change a cheater from the inside unless he/she himself/herself wants to. That is the bitter truth of today’s society

    • @pranavom
      @pranavom Před 3 lety +1

      @@ananya.a04 I agree with your point also, often the person who cheats does it for the excitement of it. But one should forgive them. It is to be understanding forgiving and accepting them in life back is a different thing. You can forgive and move on, it's mainly for the benefit of the cheated spouse

    • @Jen-jd3ci
      @Jen-jd3ci Před 2 lety +5

      @@pranavom well studies have found that cheaters are 350% more likely to cheat again.
      Yes once a cheater, always a cheater

  • @richardeliasjames5190
    @richardeliasjames5190 Před 3 lety +23

    I feel this topic is very situational. Soul connections are not often found and are worth every bit of fight left in you to keep.” “We all are so deeply interconnected; we have no option but to love all. Be kind and do good for any one and that will be reflected. 💛

    • @suhaskulkarni1280
      @suhaskulkarni1280 Před 3 lety

      Yes, you are right, we have no option than to love everyone

  • @goodone974
    @goodone974 Před 5 lety +49

    I LOve You, my brothers who sacrificed their lives to make india independent.

  • @poojakamath1351
    @poojakamath1351 Před 4 lety +337

    I feel this topic is very situational. We can't bracket everyone in the same box.

    • @emokiriemiabednegoabed2844
      @emokiriemiabednegoabed2844 Před 4 lety +13

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    • @shanawajali9592
      @shanawajali9592 Před 4 lety

      Pareshaani batao apni whatsap pe 7506159607

    • @krisgopalchengalvarayan3113
      @krisgopalchengalvarayan3113 Před 4 lety +6

      You are correct .I know my friend wife literally cheated him by getting married to him and continued extramarital relationship with his exlover. My friend is the poor fellow who lost his life and he suffered a lot when he came to know such a infidelity

    • @S-u-p-a
      @S-u-p-a Před 4 lety +12

      If you hear this carefully please. The kids are 18. So atleast 19 years they had relationship. 7 years with this other man. So it wasn't at the start. From personal experience a hurt soul commits adultery, a secure one does not.

    • @shilohshadin8740
      @shilohshadin8740 Před 4 lety +27

      I agree with you. I tried to make my relationship work many times but finally, i gave up on it and now i am happier with someone else. The only regret i have is that, why i suffered for years and did not leave earlier.

  • @shainazvelji2050
    @shainazvelji2050 Před 4 lety +7

    I think this is absolutely possible if the party that betrayed wants to make things work .. then only can it work .. lots of commitment and loyalty. To earn trust back is not easy , almost impossible .. I’ve been there.. BOTH parties must do their part. No ego allowed.. prayers. Blessings and love ♥️

  • @jayantilaldesai5187
    @jayantilaldesai5187 Před 4 lety +28

    Didi, it is not always what you think. Many times one person is very loving , always thinking my love can change the person, but the other person take it for granted that whatever the person will do , willbe tolerated and will do no negative thing , to handle and bare him. And the person will do anything that give him pleasure may it spoils the happyness of family members. In such case a nice person with courage has to stop thinking of relationship , because that nice person thinks that no more bad behaviour should be tolerated to maintain happyness in remaining family members for future. So please talk about such sotuation also.

  • @hpb6983
    @hpb6983 Před 6 lety +10

    Thank you so much for such wonderful program that has helped us to impart about our own life and connect with our own soul. OM SHANTI.

  • @blueskies773
    @blueskies773 Před 3 lety +11

    Oh, my gosh. I love you BK Shivani for lighting up in such goodness and truth that I am able to unravel the dissonance in my mind created by believing the separateness ideas of others. I am so grateful I confronted this pain of mistrust in relationships and chose to click this video.

  • @ainulhasan9523
    @ainulhasan9523 Před 2 lety +4

    One of the best intelligent lady full of wisdom. Greatness from head to toe. Matchless in simplicity she had given many valuables thoughts which are appreciable she has practices a lots and presenting in a best way to get rid of from the wound of problematic life

  • @wonderwoman5281
    @wonderwoman5281 Před 2 lety +5

    Trust me sister I was dieing internally but your words saved my life.. 🙏 each words you spoke are correct. Such important decisions should be taken by understanding with a calm mind only.. Thank you soo much 🙏🙏🙏❤️

  • @gooddayok
    @gooddayok Před 11 lety +32

    EVERY COUPLE WHO HAVE CHILDREN SHOULD VIEW THIS VIDEO. BEING A PSYCHIATRIST, I CAN ATTEST, SISTER'S EXPLANATION ARE 100% ACCURATE ABOUT THE DEEP EFFECT SUCH RELATIONSHIP ISSUES HAVE ON CHILDREN.
    MOST OF CHILDREN COMING FROM A BROKEN HOME NEED A SHRINK AND YEARS OF GOOD THERAPY TO HELP THEM LIVE HAPPILY.

    • @parthasarathyramadoss9362
      @parthasarathyramadoss9362 Před 5 lety +2

      Physical illness and emotional illness... beautifully explained...

    • @ushasachu2473
      @ushasachu2473 Před 4 lety +1

      Accepting is good but the family will not see her in earlier look n in India its doesn't work I'm sure

  • @syedmammar1
    @syedmammar1 Před 4 lety +9

    I love her comment on facing rejection from family members...it makes you seek acceptance outside of those relationships.

  • @janakin5182
    @janakin5182 Před 3 lety +11

    Sister Shivani is absolutely right. It sounds and feels right. Love in the form of compassion and understanding is the only permanent way to solve this crisis. Not easy but every being is a loving being and love can heal. Om Shanthi.

  • @AneeshNair007
    @AneeshNair007 Před 3 lety +19

    another solution maybe : that husband should thank her for her actions and realize that no human relationship is absolute, and it is always variable. This is the great opportunity for that husband to understand the relationships fundamentals right, he is a complete life by himself and doesn't need somebody for his joyfulness and happiness, this is the time for him to experience his life with full potential.

    • @shwetachaudhari1586
      @shwetachaudhari1586 Před 2 lety +2

      Very true 👍👍👍 nice thought

    • @kabyasrikundu8924
      @kabyasrikundu8924 Před 2 lety +4

      nice .... u quoted sadhguru

    • @AneeshNair007
      @AneeshNair007 Před 2 lety +1

      @@kabyasrikundu8924 yes, you are absolutely right, I learned from Sadhguru, and found more appropriate here 🙏.

  • @chethusharmaji
    @chethusharmaji Před 8 lety +19

    Fantastic. Thank you Sister Shivani.

  • @Mahi-ka
    @Mahi-ka Před 2 lety +15

    She is great advisor & have very deep understanding about relationships
    I am so moved by her thoughts
    Loads of blessings to pure soul like her

  • @happyborah287
    @happyborah287 Před 5 lety +20

    Thank you sister. I feel too much strength to my relationship

  • @vershaatre
    @vershaatre Před 2 lety +5

    This video really connected me to a real life incident. Came to know that family bond is really every one's responsibility.
    There is nothing better than to make it strong.

  • @archanashrivas901
    @archanashrivas901 Před 9 lety +210

    Easy to think,hard to do,but it can create magic.....I believe you. Om Shanti.

    • @ramakabra4974
      @ramakabra4974 Před 4 lety

      Very true.

    • @kheerosings2291
      @kheerosings2291 Před 3 lety +6

      Aum Shaanti. Extramarital Affairs can be very complicated, because each Case is unique ; Therefore they have to be treated Case by Case basis......There
      are NO Standard measures or Speculations.
      The prevailing Circumstances at a given time or period, dictates a Sudden relation...if this makes any sense ??

    • @kheerosings2291
      @kheerosings2291 Před 3 lety

      Hello Archana...!!
      What can create Magic ? I kept re-reading some comments. I have been watching this Vid. In parts...
      Sorry, But can YOU be more Clear about your STATEMENTS ?

    • @kheerosings2291
      @kheerosings2291 Před 3 lety

      "hard to do". Feelings...?

    • @nom5205
      @nom5205 Před 3 lety

      @@kheerosings2291 ...watch the video....then ask question.

  • @sudhirsharma1883
    @sudhirsharma1883 Před 7 lety +27

    ultimate lecture. every one should listen it who wants our relationship resh

  • @shanthalaga5898
    @shanthalaga5898 Před 2 lety +23

    She talks so beautifully about such a difficult topic. Really such a fresh perspective to ponder about!

  • @colleenrogers3536
    @colleenrogers3536 Před 3 lety +17

    Self love vs. Selfishness. One has to appreciate, value and love themselves first. If the person has brokenness inside themselves, it doesn't Matter what they're partner does or dosen't do. You can't depend on someone else to make you happy! You have to make yourself happy by knowing your own worth and value. Being with someone else is not finding true happiness, it being selfish. Because, now your just expecting someone else to make you happy, which is a temporary fix. In the end the person will feel worse about themselves. What about the happiness of the children, the family, the spouse? All this destruction and pain because they are broken inside. It's nobody's fault except their own. Adultery is a choice, it's selfish and self depleting, one gains nothing in the end except for more pain for everyone connected to them.

    • @trifectawinnings7755
      @trifectawinnings7755 Před rokem +1

      I was having a conversation with my cheating boss (who has been married 41 years and who is currently still married). We were talking around the situation, when he said, "You have to find happiness wherever you can." I said, "Not at the expense of someone else's happiness." His wife, his adult daughter, her husband, family friends, coworkers, etc. I tried to continue to work there for another 3 years but her privileges started to affect my job, I quit. I'm not married to him. He didn't like my disapproval and I didn't like the effects on everyone else.

  • @sonalisahoo3043
    @sonalisahoo3043 Před 3 lety +5

    How can be anyone on this Earth is so positive and so much clarity thinking I thought only God can become this

  • @thirumanarchunan6998
    @thirumanarchunan6998 Před 4 lety +31

    Every soul knows how to find peace by itself in its own way despite understanding and undergoing pain. It never waits for others advice each instance or from any other sources .

  • @angelakelly2014
    @angelakelly2014 Před 5 lety +25

    You have so much wisdom...this was such a positive talk around such a delicate subject because children are involved..you are such a wonderful soul

  • @brontokill1698
    @brontokill1698 Před rokem +2

    I m in the same boat Didi.
    I m not allowing her to go ahead.
    I m trying to get her back in my life.
    Everyday i sending positive Vibes.
    Waiting for results since last 2 months.

    • @tulipbubbly3748
      @tulipbubbly3748 Před 6 měsíci

      Do meditation and tell your wife to meditate. It will help you both.

  • @jannatbeegun6280
    @jannatbeegun6280 Před 2 lety +9

    Real life is different
    My father left and never had the feeling of guilt
    Reconsider your thinking

  • @sadietrego6247
    @sadietrego6247 Před 6 lety +6

    I love Sister Shivani she’s so awesome and on point it’s not easy but it’s worth it.

  • @amalahealthcarecenter2578
    @amalahealthcarecenter2578 Před 2 lety +13

    The trust issue is so true to the core in my case. I have watched parents' display of hatred for each other, constant negative outpouring of one parent of the other, one being so verbally and physically abusing us the kids for petty things shattered my belief on marriage or love or trust anyone else in the family.

    • @sunitabhura961
      @sunitabhura961 Před rokem

      What about pre marital affair which was carried on for 36 years even after marriage. Is my husband not cheating on me. I was a devoted wife all these years but he carried on with his own mami NINE years older an intense illegal relationship without sharing with any other person. Now that she has dumped him two years back ours life is in doldrums.

  • @kajaltiwari3244
    @kajaltiwari3244 Před 4 lety +37

    Omg.....what a positivity....the amount of respect for you is increased now after watching this video 🙏🙏🙏

  • @philipboas3890
    @philipboas3890 Před 2 lety +16

    what a wonderful woman. my love and admiration for her.

  • @ushmadesai2095
    @ushmadesai2095 Před 5 lety +17

    Yes this is possible !!
    Children & family will be saved if relationship is saved.

  • @acceleratecompany2606
    @acceleratecompany2606 Před 4 lety +14

    physical illness vs emotional illness , best point of conversation

    • @summer7529
      @summer7529 Před 4 lety +2

      This isnt mental illness this is emotional illness.
      Your welcome

  • @cotton-xb1xp
    @cotton-xb1xp Před 2 lety +38

    My friend had 4 children and the youngest is 5.
    She had a secret relationship with a man and she was so happy with him.
    When her husband got to know about it, he ask her for forgiveness. He told her that he will change for the better.
    When he change, she change.
    After about 8 months, their relationship was entirely different and at a different level.
    She found herself.
    And she gain her self esteem and self empowerment.

    • @prabamoodley7779
      @prabamoodley7779 Před 2 lety

      8

    • @NFS691
      @NFS691 Před 2 lety +9

      But,, it's wrong
      If she wasn't happy with him,,,then she should break the relationship first. Then go for other man.
      But relationship with other man while in relationship with husband.
      This shows what type of character she has.

    • @diptipatel5201
      @diptipatel5201 Před 2 lety +2

      Wait until more time. You will find out her real face..

    • @moneyst59
      @moneyst59 Před 2 lety +2

      @@NFS691 what happens to the guy who gave her happiness ... Dumped.

    • @NFS691
      @NFS691 Před 2 lety +4

      @@moneyst59 I can feel that pain bro.
      Just because someone can't give time in relationship,, that doesn't mean he/she doesn't love their partner but..the other ll start affair with someone.
      Because the entire world is selfish. Right people always tie their knot with wrong and characterless people.
      When u really love someone,,, automatically u ll never think about love from other person. U ll try to understand your partner's situation....try to relax him/her...try to work on the relationship,,try to remove the misunderstanding dart from his/her brain.

  • @YathieshHS
    @YathieshHS Před 2 lety +15

    It's amazing how she explains this with so much of understanding , without being married or in relationship

    • @francisdantis205
      @francisdantis205 Před 2 lety +1

      For ur information she is married and has a daughter and in laws, she has left everyone and joined Brahma Kumari

    • @YathieshHS
      @YathieshHS Před 2 lety

      @@francisdantis205 oh sorry I didn't knew . So currently she is not with her family ?? Or she is with family ??

    • @francisdantis205
      @francisdantis205 Před 2 lety

      @@YathieshHS to my knowledge she stays in Bramha Kumaris and not with her family

    • @shivapriyabk9053
      @shivapriyabk9053 Před 2 lety +1

      She is married and stays with her husband. She does not have any children. She keeps coming once in a while to BK centres whenever there are programmes. However she stays with her husband, who has been helpful to her in a incognito way.

    • @francisdantis205
      @francisdantis205 Před 2 lety +1

      @@shivapriyabk9053 well I am not aware , I saw a video on her long back on utube which stated her life history, she is an Engineer by profession an IIT and worked as a Proffessor, later on her parents married her and after some time of her marriage she decided to join BK and live a life of Celibacy.

  • @mindfulmatters3856
    @mindfulmatters3856 Před 2 lety +4

    Trust is a basic criteria for a healthy relationship. If someone cheats on us , we shouldn't keep continuing in that relationship. I say we let that person go. And marry someone else

  • @margaret4930
    @margaret4930 Před 2 lety +2

    Dear sister it's very true in what you are saying I'm in the same boat of the lady who has another person who really appreciate her. That I m in a relationship with my childhood friend who is married 37 yrs has found me now and he is staying in Canada with his wife and two children.
    Has everyday without fail we communicate with one another.
    It's really a god's gift to get in touch again.
    Thank you

  • @AGworld_Agastya1978
    @AGworld_Agastya1978 Před 3 lety +3

    Today as a wife I'm in the same situation of that husband in the story ... that's why I came here..., When the video began I thought she doesn't understand the pain I'm in and talking unrealistic ...., But in later part I understood that what she told is absolutely correct. We have to be patient and forgiving if we want our spouse back. Thank you sister, I feel these words came from GOD himself to me. 🙏🙏🙏

    • @arunarajeev2751
      @arunarajeev2751 Před 3 lety

      Same situation....and I will definitely try to be patient, forgiving and give my positive thoughts to the relationship.

    • @AGworld_Agastya1978
      @AGworld_Agastya1978 Před 3 lety

      @@arunarajeev2751 all the best dear. God bless you

    • @trintrin189
      @trintrin189 Před 3 lety

      Both of you are dumb.Keep giving your positive thoughts,he will keep betraying you.

  • @sarunakarmi4814
    @sarunakarmi4814 Před 6 lety +10

    How amazing your explanation is..!! just so serene and Melo...

  • @seemadutta671
    @seemadutta671 Před 5 lety +7

    Great thought to continue the relationship. Thanks Didi. Om Shanti.

  • @chinmeilien
    @chinmeilien Před 2 lety +2

    Such brilliant suggestions for such complex situation. Full of compassion and healing power. What an energy, Sister Shivani! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

  • @rebeccamochel
    @rebeccamochel Před rokem +1

    I am the child in this situation I am 50. I am finally able to heal my family. Thank you you have no idea what I am about to do it so big huge I love you I love all I am giving giving and giving it.

  • @cherxiong8064
    @cherxiong8064 Před 8 lety +83

    What an enlightening lesson. Thank you both. ❤️🙏🏻

  • @mittaltanu512
    @mittaltanu512 Před 6 lety +81

    Awesome perception to the situation. Ma'am hats off to you. This video will help me guide my few clients who are drifting away in their marriage. I love you ma'am.

    • @moneyst59
      @moneyst59 Před 2 lety +1

      Pls do not give the wrong advice. It's an individual case by case that you should look into.

    • @greenpath26
      @greenpath26 Před 2 lety

      @@moneyst59 yes agreed. Every situation is different

  • @blessing8490
    @blessing8490 Před 2 lety +4

    True....After 20 years of suffering God put me in a place I needed to be without me knowing...to get my own personal inner happiness.... did not go out looking for it but it found me... It might be temporary or permanent I don't know yet. Just to be touched , be loved , accepted, kissed nothing more....just that..
    But I had to choose to just be happy even if it's one minute to heal. I was afraid but could not deny how nature was going. I had to nature to take its course.
    I have endured a lot.... multiple extra marital affairs and a lot of emotional abuse etc... from my husband.
    Never thought I would be the one supportting such in a thousand years.

    • @the_waist_coat8351
      @the_waist_coat8351 Před měsícem

      So, have you tried to implement these thinking habits into your life. Could you see any changes in the relationships afterwards?

  • @divyas318
    @divyas318 Před rokem +3

    How profound her knowledge is, so unbiased, so genuine, live long sister shivani

  • @shilpasawrikarfa8170
    @shilpasawrikarfa8170 Před 5 lety +3

    Thank q so much didi
    I always feel positive thinking after watching your videos 👍🏼

  • @exploreshadesofindia1198
    @exploreshadesofindia1198 Před 4 lety +16

    I feel every person has own subconscious mind which always warn to people when they r stepping out which leads bad results. We all ignore our tiny voice of our soul which regularly guide us.... Om shanti 🙏

  • @poushalissimplelife6488
    @poushalissimplelife6488 Před 5 lety +2

    Thank you didi.i try it myself.and my mind is very peaceful.

  • @ekentaipodia3875
    @ekentaipodia3875 Před 4 lety +9

    BK Shivani : a very enlightened woman par excellence

  • @yogeshsureshdambale9031
    @yogeshsureshdambale9031 Před 6 lety +38

    Shivbaba the supreme soul that blessed me a lot and completed my great dream in this running life. Thank You Shivbaba

  • @renukanwar2667
    @renukanwar2667 Před 2 lety +4

    So much of distress pain suffering in broken homes 😭

  • @Dr.priya.kumari
    @Dr.priya.kumari Před 3 lety +6

    I feel empowered and enlightened ,never thought that way🙏

  • @reddragon3288
    @reddragon3288 Před 5 lety +49

    Every relationship is different, at the beginning between two people attracted to each other's traits. However in many long term relationship most people's needs desires, and change over time, the lust, excitement and love in your partner also fades. It's normal for the highs of the relationship to level out because this phase couple's think they're not "in love" anymore and they may start taking each other for granted. It's human nature.

    • @summer7529
      @summer7529 Před 4 lety +8

      Thats why no point of getting married

  • @ami9433480965
    @ami9433480965 Před 6 lety +9

    Sister Shivani you have a great, pure & divine soul ! My heartfelt pranam to you !

  • @hobertjohn7525
    @hobertjohn7525 Před 3 lety +3

    This is amazing way of handling and healing broken heart...this will surely work...

  • @latikagupta7279
    @latikagupta7279 Před 3 lety +6

    I needed to be reminded about how I was creating a negative energy in my surroundings 🙏🌹

  • @1autumn-soul
    @1autumn-soul Před 3 lety +23

    WOW! This is how problems should be approached! Such wise, healing method of mending heartache and relationships!
    I loved the input of the host-he brought the prefect question to deepen this dialogue and raise many critical points.. love it
    I’m a new subscriber❤️
    You gave me so much clarity about some personal issues that I’m dealing with-which are no where near the scenario you are discussing. I’m so grateful.. thank you 🙏🙏

  • @isaacpvful
    @isaacpvful Před 11 lety +58

    The man wants to know how to handle the situation. Trying to get her back is secondary. How to face the situation is primary. First he has to deeply accept the situation without any internal resistance and the deep state of acceptance will assist him to come up with the positive ,calm, courage to take the right action. But if he resists the situation then he can never come out of it. Because resistance will create tremendous negative energy. YOU cannot make others happy if you are not happy .

    • @Krishnadeevani
      @Krishnadeevani Před 4 lety

      What do you mean by acceptance here...? In what way sir ? I'm sorry I'm new to these things. Kindly explain ☺️🙏

    • @meena6044
      @meena6044 Před 4 lety

      Agree with you 99.99%

    • @pranavom
      @pranavom Před 3 lety +1

      True, acceptance of the situation is the first step to healing, then seek professional help, that's the way to go about it. As guru says it's an emotional illness, it's a true illness, most don't understand that because it's not visible physically. Once couple decide to reconcile they have to be understanding of the situation and not runaway from it. Like I said before if a male commits this, it's seen as a common thing, but when a womam commits the society slut shames. But if one decided to break the relationship then it should be after healing, breaking it before will only leave with a lot of negative energy.

  • @swatixl
    @swatixl Před 4 lety +21

    Awesome Sister! I'm just head over heals for you n your thinking...this is definitely going to help masses to build their relationships stronger...no matter wat enhance your existing relationships even if there's no extramarital soul connect!!
    You are d ultimate blessing to mankind..❤️

  • @jaswinderbhatti10
    @jaswinderbhatti10 Před 2 lety

    She always explains way better than I can even think of. I always think that I have answers and I can explain better than most but she always Impress me

  • @TheRachelrockz
    @TheRachelrockz Před 3 lety +15

    You are so wise n brilliant and just amazing!! I love listening to you speaking. It touches my heart n soul. Thank u. 😘😘😘💜

  • @ashwinipai3756
    @ashwinipai3756 Před 2 lety +7

    Lovely topic and so well addressed❣️😍 yes it is important to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand why the person has moved away. Everyone in the family has to shift from blaming the person who has moved away and look at why it has happened as we are also responsible for that change the the spouse’s attitude and behaviour. After understanding what went out of the relationship and made the person stray, we need to decide whether we want to bring those things back in the relationship. If we want the relationship to change, we need to change ourselves to being the person the other needs us to be. If we don’t want to change, then we need to let them go. But don’t blame them for moving away coz we are also responsible for making them look out. If we were giving them what they were looking for, they would have not strayed in the 1st place. 🙏

  • @jagjitkaursohal3160
    @jagjitkaursohal3160 Před 5 lety +9

    True i saw this
    Nd giving pure thought cure this problem

  • @girdharchawla653
    @girdharchawla653 Před 2 lety +6

    Indeed fantastic discussion and positive attitude, thoughts to save the. situation for good for all concerned in the loop / family . Hats off to Shivani Didi’s way of thinking and councelling . She is doing great 👍 service to mankind with her great positive advices and thoughts !

  • @aishwaryabaskar177
    @aishwaryabaskar177 Před 5 lety +8

    Beautifully said
    Om shanthi😇

  • @kanupriya7030
    @kanupriya7030 Před 7 lety +6

    day by day its changing me thanks sister

  • @aiyyarcars4776
    @aiyyarcars4776 Před 3 lety +4

    Sisters each and every word is really powerful .

  • @ThuLe-eh1xe
    @ThuLe-eh1xe Před 4 lety

    BK Shivani is wise. I agree with her. I have an older sister who is very bossy, abrasive, who pushes people dow, critizes people including me, bragging about herself. My health is going down, , my energy is depleted because of my relationship with her. I try to avoid her at family gathering and this create loneliness in me because she has been good to me also and because we had beautiful childhood memories together. After listening to this video, I will try to change my perspective. Instead of condemning her and being angry at her, I will understand that she is in pain and I will send her forgiveness, help her feel better about herself. Changing our perspective can create magic like BK Shivani said. It can turn the situation around and brings the world together with love. Thank you sister BK Shivani.

  • @vibhasatuluri4007
    @vibhasatuluri4007 Před 2 lety +2

    While listening..i cried..very badly...she explained beautifully..very true...

  • @anu2804
    @anu2804 Před 5 lety +116

    I love suresh obroi♥️ he got a fantastic voice

  • @vidhyapriyadharsini234
    @vidhyapriyadharsini234 Před 5 lety +6

    God bless you both 🙏🏾🌺

  • @tanuarora24
    @tanuarora24 Před 2 lety +1

    I defer to agree...just because the woman will have a guilt doesn’t mean that she should stay in that marriage where she is already not happy...whatever she is saying is very difficult in reality...!

  • @naturekinautankigreensbird1813

    13:00 what Shivani ji is saying here has to begin with feelings of total forgiveness. Otherwise positive thoughts r not possible. Without forgiveness, family will give fake empathy in font of her and think negative behind back. FORGIVENESS IS KEY.

  • @harshawardhanchaudhari9269
    @harshawardhanchaudhari9269 Před 3 lety +11

    Absolutely marvelous! A classical example of application of wider divine perspective in day to day problems.

  • @koushiksutradhar5152
    @koushiksutradhar5152 Před 4 lety +48

    When a person cheats on ..it's because there is no respect for the partner,no respect for the relationship. Once a cheater always a cheater.Cheating is a choice.. not a mistake. Cheaters want to have their cake and eat it too.

    • @ginafinch3307
      @ginafinch3307 Před 2 lety +2

      koushik sutradhar, cheating is not a sport, people cheat for many different emotional reasons. This lady was married for a long time, looking after her family and feeling not respected or loved by her husband, this got her closer to someone whom she feels is respecting her.

    • @shantkm100
      @shantkm100 Před 2 lety

      @@ginafinch3307 no excuses for cheating. She can try to solve the problems . If she cant , she can divorce him and search the next. No right to live with some one and love the other one. Dont justify the cheating. Its the following to satanic whispers, nothing else.

    • @ginafinch3307
      @ginafinch3307 Před 2 lety

      @@shantkm100, hate and judgment never helped anyone. To heal the situation people need to apply love, compassion, and understanding. I trust your religion also speaks about that. 😊

    • @shantkm100
      @shantkm100 Před 2 lety +1

      @@ginafinch3307 cheating is not a mistake, it is a choice. Dont justify it with its reasons. I dont want to hate the cheater, but dont want to continue with the cheater. Its not justice. If every one seek happiness, let them to seek. And i have also right too seek my happiness. Why i hv to spoil my happiness with this cheater. If u lose the trust one time, never it comes back.

    • @shantkm100
      @shantkm100 Před 2 lety +1

      @@ginafinch3307 u cant understand the rality of any feeling untill u experience it. U killed some one and u are telling i didnt get love, so i killed him. And fix the love with me by solving ur mistakes. But how the dead body gives u the love. Cheating is like killing. If u lost trust, life is broken. Never u can fix it again in the same structure. Its true. All other opinions are just imaginations. Shivani is always in imaginary world. She thinks breathing is the remedy for all problems in the world.

  • @rose-yq3wt
    @rose-yq3wt Před 2 lety +2

    I love this. Societal norms ruin things. The soul gets pushed aside. We tend to only look at the physical aspects of things ignoring emotional illness. “We are all healers”.

  • @najumehra1966
    @najumehra1966 Před rokem +1

    I am so glad sister Shivani you brought this perspective for women - it’s very empowering ❤

  • @sreyachatterjee5377
    @sreyachatterjee5377 Před 3 lety +9

    One size doesn't fit all...everyone should create their own way to be happy & positive..and moreover radiate positive energy to our surroundings..

  • @debanwitaaroyy4162
    @debanwitaaroyy4162 Před 2 lety +4

    @BKShivani - This divine soul is my second mother in this costume..Maa,I love you from the core of my heart.Koi bhi galati ya gunah ho agar jay mujhse willingly or unwillingly,she will accept me and she will make me realise my faults in such a way that I will also realise my fault/guilt myself and will never do this again...I love you so much.

  • @piyali9163
    @piyali9163 Před 3 lety +1

    Thank you sister.this world need more people like you who help us to be a better human beings.

  • @prakashbagha9352
    @prakashbagha9352 Před 4 lety +2

    Great guidance.
    Thanks a lot both of you

  • @arunarajeev2751
    @arunarajeev2751 Před 3 lety +9

    Same situation....and I will definitely try to be patient, forgiving and give my positive thoughts to the relationship. Thank you sister for such a good advise.... hope it works...

    • @vaniraj-sr9zs
      @vaniraj-sr9zs Před 3 lety

      Hi, Aruna can I connect with you please

    • @arunarajeev2751
      @arunarajeev2751 Před 2 lety

      @@vaniraj-sr9zs Yes

    • @poonamsharma6917
      @poonamsharma6917 Před 2 lety

      How can one gives positive thoughts to a relationship wen ur better half cheats u n in physical relation ship with number of girls before n after marriage
      N even now after hvng a kid he is not settling down but continuing the same old stories...
      After 9years of my marriage n with so much deciet n lies I can't give, am so stressed but can't give positive thoughts now
      Can anyone help me in this
      For my sanity

  • @bhagyashreekhairnar6035
    @bhagyashreekhairnar6035 Před 6 lety +7

    Very nicely explained both the situations.. Loved it..

  • @lathaelangovan7470
    @lathaelangovan7470 Před 3 lety +2

    Sister your solution to this problem is most humane. So wonderfully practical...Great thoughts

  • @monabhat426
    @monabhat426 Před 3 lety +4

    Thank you sister
    U r such a pure soul that u help us to heal