How to Comfort Someone Going Through a Tough Time

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  • čas přidán 14. 11. 2016
  • For many people it can be challenging to comfort someone going through a tough time. It's common for a lot of people to shy away from emotional situations because they feel awkward or uncomfortable. A lot of the time they don’t know what to say, worry about doing the wrong thing or they want to fix it but don’t know how.
    A few weeks ago I went through a rough time. Within the span of 5 days a relationship ended, I got sick and a friend of mine passed away in a car accident. It's been awhile since I’ve felt that drained emotionally, mentally and physically and craved real emotional support.
    It's not always easy being vulnerable and talking about the hard things you’re going through and how you’re feeling. However, I also started to realize how difficult it can be for others on the receiving end of it.
    It requires vulnerability to create space for someone to be vulnerable. It can be challenging to hold space for someone else. What I mean by holding space is being able to create an environment where all you do is listen and express empathy with no judgment.
    People don’t always want or expect you to fix things for them. A lot of the time things can’t be fixed the way we would want to fix them. It’s about listening, comforting and honestly just letting them know you're there for them.
    If you struggle and feel uncomfortable holding space for others I want to challenge you. Ask yourself why, and what about it makes you feel so uncomfortable. If you want to be there for someone in their time of need, how can you find a way that feels good for you?
    Did you enjoy this video? If so, be sure to also check out The Gift of Vulnerability
    I want to help you work through those blocks that are getting in your way of you living up to your full potential. For more information on how to be the driver in your life and take control of that wheel, click www.sharonstokes.ca/the-gift-o...
    Website: www.sharonstokes.ca/
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Komentáře • 27

  • @someonelikemevl3360
    @someonelikemevl3360 Před 5 lety +93

    I often find myself in situations in which a friend of mine or some one dear to me is sad and broken hearted or is going thru a rough time. Many a times I just can't do anything. I often feel useless and think that I should say something , however I find myself in lack of words. Thanks for the video

  • @TheSoitenly
    @TheSoitenly Před 4 lety +40

    Sometimes saying nothing and just listening can help the most.

  • @Remi-px4qn
    @Remi-px4qn Před 5 lety +27

    Thankyou! I feel exactly like this!
    My friend's brother just left for college and he is so depressed, drained. I never seen him like this. This video is exactly how I feel, I want to help and I been texting him every night.
    He was at his aunt's and I said "I wish I could do something to help"
    He simply replied "you are"
    Just being there is enough for him and I feel better knowing I'm helping a little bit

  • @toontales2479
    @toontales2479 Před 8 měsíci +1

    It was 5AM in telaviv I had just gotten hit by a car and then an hour later I ended things with a girl. I’m normally a very strong person but I’ve never been so broken in a single moment in my life. My friend asked me what happened and I couldn’t get a word out. I’ll never forget what he said to me in that moment. With a confident comforting voice he said “if u need to cry get it out, let it all out. I’m here for u.” I’ve never felt so comforted in my life by a person. Sometimes ppl just need a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes people don’t know how to express their emotions. They just want to get it all out.

  • @ameiu
    @ameiu Před 3 lety +9

    Thanks for this video. I have this friend who is going through a rough time. He opened up to me this one time but I really didn’t know what to say because I’ve never been through anything like he did. I also don’t wanna ask what his life problems are because I feel like I’m going to come off as a nosey person. I just him to know that I’ll be there for him whenever he needs me and there are people that care for him.

  • @roseb2105
    @roseb2105 Před 4 lety +7

    Its uncomfortable for me either that I cant do anything about it or that I feel the same way but dont feel comfortable telling the other person when it is meant to be about them

  • @icyjaam
    @icyjaam Před 2 lety

    Thank you Sharon this will help me now, my very dear friend, whom I am in love with, needs this, I understand it, she is not seeking answers, she says all he rproblems, and I feel like and an idiot not being to help her, all she wants is a little support that someone who is not going to judge her. Thank yiou I am in tears.

  • @shawnthompson3936
    @shawnthompson3936 Před rokem

    Thank you. I will use this

  • @mohammedalmuteb5501
    @mohammedalmuteb5501 Před rokem +1

    Sharon ❤️Thank you for the helpful video. My friend is going through a tough time. It is not in my nature to know how to comfort someone. I earned and applied from your video. May god/universe send you blessings For that you care for others. 🦋

  • @hannahisabel7624
    @hannahisabel7624 Před 5 lety +33

    I have a friend who has a problem but is having a very hard time opening up. He just tells me vague things that’s why I don’t really understand his situation. I know it’s not his fault that he has a hard time opening up. I don’t know what to do whenever he cries and I just end up asking him questions so I can understand more of his situation. I feel like I am not any help to him but i REALLY want to help him effectively but I don’t know how. What should I do??

    • @hydrocemia2690
      @hydrocemia2690 Před 4 lety +8

      just keep asking. eventually, you will break through, and its at that point, where you can really open up the real problems, and work through them together.

    • @rhiko7
      @rhiko7 Před 3 lety +2

      @@hydrocemia2690 That's really great way to make people open up to you but I'd say sometimes being with them is enough. If they feel like sharing they eventually will.
      In short, dealing with them requires patience

  • @roseb2105
    @roseb2105 Před 4 lety +4

    also I dont think the other person is interested in hearing about me they want to vent about themselves

  • @AStark-dn6yh
    @AStark-dn6yh Před 3 lety +3

    Thank you for this video. My girlfriend is going through a really rough time right now, and I felt like I needed to be her hero, and fix everything for her, and I really had no idea what to say or do. This video was extremely helpful.

    • @somedude4530
      @somedude4530 Před 2 lety +1

      Same situation my gf is going through a hard time and I suck at comforting her I want to help but it feels like I’m a fucking robot I hate it

    • @AStark-dn6yh
      @AStark-dn6yh Před 2 lety +2

      @@somedude4530 She broke up with me a few months ago.😔

    • @somedude4530
      @somedude4530 Před 2 lety +1

      @@AStark-dn6yh I’m sorry to hear that 😔

    • @somedude4530
      @somedude4530 Před 2 lety +1

      @@AStark-dn6yh my girl actually broke up with me too like a month ago

  • @karmtor2758
    @karmtor2758 Před 6 lety +6

    Really good video for someone who needs this explanation. Luckily not for me

  • @johnrainsman6650
    @johnrainsman6650 Před 11 měsíci

    I have a question: how do you cheer an insecure person up if everything they say about themself is _true?_ My neighbor feels like a loser and was expressing his self-doubt and pain. But The thing is...everything he said was completely right. He has a learning disability and ASD; he's a very slow learner; he can't drive; he's lived with his mom for 27 years and has never moved out; he went to a small charter school instead of the superior local public high school; he graduated at 20, not 18; he depends on others to do tasks right; he can't manage things alone very well; his boss won't let him work shifts alone, without someone to guide him. I don't see his skills or potential. So...I don't know what to tell him. I actually agree that the people around him (and many more, of course) are better. He...actually _is_ less/lesser, as far as I'm concerned. So yeah...what do you say to someone when their pain and insecurities are part of the truth and aren't exaggerated? I don't know what to tell this guy, so I didn't say anything when he talked about how weak and inferior he was.

  • @ricknogan413
    @ricknogan413 Před 4 měsíci

    Can you put your microphone closer to the highway, I can’t hear the traffic.

  • @lovingatlanta
    @lovingatlanta Před 6 měsíci

    👍🤩💝🙏
    ❓What happened to you? Why did you stop posting content?

  • @tiptoe2323
    @tiptoe2323 Před rokem

    How do you comfort someone who finds out she’s been living a lie. My niece found out that her father is not really her father after 40 years. Her mother is dead, so she can’t get any definitive answers. I question Ancestry websites can cause issues in a family.

  • @gusiii864
    @gusiii864 Před 3 lety +2

    Feeling like a burden

  • @loveandfaithfulness4479

    Philippians 4:6-7
    Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.