Matt McCusker Opens Up About His Former Life of Crime

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  • čas přidán 21. 05. 2024
  • Excerpt from This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #504 | Matt McCusker
    Full Episode: • Matt McCusker | This P...
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    #TheoVon #MattMcCusker #ThisPastWeekend #Comedy #Podcast #TheoVonClips
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Komentáře • 160

  • @marshallwilson3668
    @marshallwilson3668 Před 28 dny +400

    “No, because they were my enemies” sounds like the Viking shaman 🤣🤣

    • @johnshaw4137
      @johnshaw4137 Před 28 dny +20

      432HZ

    • @rare5960
      @rare5960 Před 22 dny +7

      he was being DEAD serious. His face when he said it actually made me laugh.

    • @JoeMACofNAC
      @JoeMACofNAC Před 4 dny +2

      I fucking love Matt 😂

  • @juice2620
    @juice2620 Před 27 dny +187

    "even if I'm a thief dude that doesn't mean you should be gay" - This podcast has some banger jokes.

    • @OfficialElljay
      @OfficialElljay Před 27 dny +1

      just be glad he’s not a gay thief. cause that ass would get taken 🤣😭

    • @tq6892
      @tq6892 Před 26 dny +13

      Two wrongs don’t make a right - McCusker

  • @taviantownsend5192
    @taviantownsend5192 Před 15 dny +16

    Matt is the perfect bro friend. Everyone deserves a friend like Matt

  • @allenjanvalie
    @allenjanvalie Před 28 dny +82

    the level of darkarts theo has when he was the one who stole the underwear and proceeds to call the other person gay for wanting their OWN underwear back 🤣🤣

    • @PepsiFuture
      @PepsiFuture Před 28 dny +8

      Perfect example of the dark arts

    • @DSToNe19and83
      @DSToNe19and83 Před 26 dny

      Haha, I’m saying!
      Only shit Theo would do..

  • @kaymillerfromTX
    @kaymillerfromTX Před 28 dny +66

    “I think he was gay” he said after taking his bros underwear lmao 😂 Theo is too funny.

  • @Jose-wf6po
    @Jose-wf6po Před 28 dny +46

    Matt kleptomania is still running rampant, he keeps stealing the air out of my lungs from prolonged laughter!

  • @daveyreed
    @daveyreed Před 28 dny +34

    I haven't cried laughing to a podcast in a hot minute.

  • @somarvitor
    @somarvitor Před 28 dny +57

    Barely scratched the surface of Matt's criminal past. Needs to go back on n talk about selling drugs n cheating self checkouts.

    • @DesiS16
      @DesiS16 Před 27 dny

      That’s what I laughed at

    • @spencerbrown2933
      @spencerbrown2933 Před 26 dny +4

      I thought "N Talk" was the name of a podcast and I was like damn dude.

  • @dustinmurphy82able
    @dustinmurphy82able Před 28 dny +48

    20-30k 😂

  • @AB-fw6qp
    @AB-fw6qp Před 27 dny +26

    These two have good podcast chemistry 😂

    • @yoboy6319
      @yoboy6319 Před 26 dny +1

      Podcasts used to be fun, now it's the same hacks just repeating stories and blowing each other. This is at least OK

    • @eastonstafford8315
      @eastonstafford8315 Před 23 dny

      @@yoboy6319you’re a real bummer

    • @yoboy6319
      @yoboy6319 Před 23 dny +1

      @@eastonstafford8315 sorry I can't listen to these dudes say the same stuff over and over.

    • @eastonstafford8315
      @eastonstafford8315 Před 22 dny

      @@yoboy6319 yo you don’t have to watch the same episode over and over they come out with new ones like all the time

  • @CARBINEZzZzZ
    @CARBINEZzZzZ Před 23 dny +13

    A one-man pizza operation where you get the call, make the pizza, then lock the doors and go deliver it is such a fuckin funny bit lol

  • @dylanstack8710
    @dylanstack8710 Před 23 dny +5

    The Viking is not a thief. He is a vigilante. "$500 back then was 20-30 grand" sent me.

  • @chrisdoe3642
    @chrisdoe3642 Před 26 dny +13

    Matt and Shane don't make me feel so alone

  • @DSToNe19and83
    @DSToNe19and83 Před 28 dny +61

    “I stole my buddies underwear”
    Sounds like something Theo would say..

    • @littlejackalo5326
      @littlejackalo5326 Před 23 dny +1

      He definitely felt another man's warmth.

    • @DSToNe19and83
      @DSToNe19and83 Před 23 dny

      @@littlejackalo5326 warm silky ass nuts warmth… I suppose

  • @Stacey_-bf2mb
    @Stacey_-bf2mb Před 28 dny +5

    He hit Theo with a HARD Springsteen there at the end

  • @AG9271-gt7ck
    @AG9271-gt7ck Před 28 dny +61

    Two wrongs don’t make a right is such a good line.

    • @samstancea3613
      @samstancea3613 Před 28 dny +6

      Is it really that good lol?

    • @gunncab4760
      @gunncab4760 Před 28 dny +25

      Tf? It’s a common saying. It’s Not a good or unique line anymore than “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”

    • @chadchadchadchadchad
      @chadchadchadchadchad Před 28 dny +1

      Three lefts (90 degrees) make a right.

    • @HughJanus-ey6cs
      @HughJanus-ey6cs Před 28 dny +12

      How old are you that that saying is revolutionary

    • @PepsiFuture
      @PepsiFuture Před 28 dny

      @@chadchadchadchadchadnobody said anything about left or 3. Don’t force an unfunny joke where it doesn’t work. Also, no it doesn’t. Every left makes a … left. It would only be a right from the perspective of someone who is in the original position, not to the person turning. Stupid, very stupid

  • @phil8528
    @phil8528 Před 6 dny +1

    Man I relate to Matt on this. I gamble for a living so have a lot of spare time. So I just go to stores that I know overcharge for their products and shoplift there, literally just to pass time and it’s genuinely fun. I’d never shoplift from a small business or anything like that. Just large expensive places.

    • @snowfrosty1
      @snowfrosty1 Před 23 hodinami

      Shoplifting from big (usually overpriced/expensive) corporations can be kinda fun(thrilling?) as a preteen-HS teen.
      Yet try to stop this while you can homie. It’s not really a good schtick inherently tbh, definitely not something you wanna continue with heavily past the 18-22 “college aged” stage of your life.
      Try to keep it to like candy bars & small items if you must.

  • @Mark-sd7fc
    @Mark-sd7fc Před 28 dny +6

    My man bought this table as a school auction

  • @nicholasdhall
    @nicholasdhall Před 26 dny +2

    This man really has done every single job you could possibly try 😂

  • @ryanlemley4866
    @ryanlemley4866 Před 27 dny +1

    This shit is crazy. Matt just described my life and Shane grew up in Mechanicsburg where i lived for several years. I missed the boat man.

    • @HighlyRegardted
      @HighlyRegardted Před 25 dny +6

      Yea dude you def coulda been a famous comedian wtf were u even doin the last few yrs

  • @ri5clipsrl664
    @ri5clipsrl664 Před 26 dny +9

    “40hrs a week is part-time”- I felt that….

    • @nuckels188
      @nuckels188 Před 26 dny +1

      I get all my work done in 10 hours and play on my phone for 30 😢

  • @levijamesvstheworld
    @levijamesvstheworld Před 26 dny +1

    Theo makes up the craziest shit lmao. Sometimes u can see him trying to think of it in his head on the spot

  • @aliasSix
    @aliasSix Před 28 dny +17

    Same timing a pizza for payment is wild 😂 🍕

    • @Humblemumble7
      @Humblemumble7 Před 28 dny +4

      What tf is "same timing" a pizza?

    • @Matt-uj9wl
      @Matt-uj9wl Před 28 dny +5

      @@Humblemumble7 not handing the goods over until the money is in your hand "at the same time"

    • @Humblemumble7
      @Humblemumble7 Před 28 dny +7

      @Matt-uj9wl Oh yeah, of course! Lol Thank you, man. For some reason, in the context of pizza, that shit didn't compute.

    • @ETAisNOW
      @ETAisNOW Před 28 dny +4

      @@Humblemumble7I’ve only ever heard “same time” during an exchange, it being used as a verb is weird.

    • @goofballbiscuits3647
      @goofballbiscuits3647 Před 27 dny

      ​@@ETAisNOW It's a gerund.

  • @jsmithsemper4848
    @jsmithsemper4848 Před 28 dny +2

    This whole thing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @s_dolla1341
    @s_dolla1341 Před 23 dny +1

    Boxer shorts is crazy 😆

  • @gregorio87
    @gregorio87 Před 26 dny +3

    "somebody said Jesus only worked like 30 hours a week", lol. That sounds like a reasonable amount of time to do carpentry or spread the word. He was just chillin with wine and prostitutes the rest of the time. Can't blame the dude

  • @brookej.5888
    @brookej.5888 Před 27 dny +3

    "If you even did it." 👀

  • @yellowman6866
    @yellowman6866 Před 22 dny +2

    I am convinced this is how Theo answers every follow up question.
    "Somebody said Jesus only worked 30 hours a week"
    -Who said that?
    "Huh?"

  • @indigowendigo8464
    @indigowendigo8464 Před 26 dny +1

    I delivered pizza in college and never realized I was a badass

  • @gp5078
    @gp5078 Před 24 dny

    Somebody said jesus only worked 30hrs a week 😂 too good man

  • @frankmurphy5
    @frankmurphy5 Před 24 dny

    This studio should ditch that table and do all pods just laying on that plush ass carpet 😂

  • @stephenb2276
    @stephenb2276 Před 28 dny +7

    40hrs in construction considered part time is a joke. Huuur, duuurr, youre not a real man if youre not doing 80 a week

    • @BigNoseTony
      @BigNoseTony Před 26 dny

      The average construction is 50-60hrs. Figure you get overtime a few hours each day. Unless you're on a long controlled job.

    • @littlejackalo5326
      @littlejackalo5326 Před 23 dny

      Your beta Bernal is rearing its ugly head again. It's a real mystery to you why you're bullied. "wAaAaAa. wHy aM i sO bRoKe, aNd WhY aRe aLL tHe oThEr gUyS BuLLyiNg mE? wAaAaAa." Beeeeeta.

  • @ErmiasTenkir
    @ErmiasTenkir Před 28 dny +2

    Theo, i watch ur videos and i love what u do. Man Please help me get out of this bad situation i am in

    • @notagiantseaslug5523
      @notagiantseaslug5523 Před 28 dny +9

      Theo helps those who help themselves.

    • @Heopful
      @Heopful Před 28 dny +5

      Theo pays his openers $100 lol he ain't helping anyone.

  • @JayWilkins-zh7fx
    @JayWilkins-zh7fx Před 22 dny +1

    They were my enemies for real. What was the shop? Oh it was a ice cream store. Lmao wut

  • @ervxpi4728
    @ervxpi4728 Před 27 dny

    Theo is well arguably the GOAT

  • @smokeyblunty4263
    @smokeyblunty4263 Před 23 dny +1

    McCusker interrogation

  • @frankfurt1063
    @frankfurt1063 Před 28 dny

    theo just wanted to stunt on rogan with that table

  • @spaceghost3941
    @spaceghost3941 Před 26 dny +1

    432Hz gang for Lyfe

  • @kurtman8954
    @kurtman8954 Před 28 dny +1

    Why is the table so big?

  • @brandonopolis
    @brandonopolis Před 28 dny +7

    Working at Taco Bell in high school, my friend memorized all the combo prices after tax, so if someone came in and ordered a single combo meal, he had a technique to pocket the money without throwing off the register. Personally, I was too scared to steal money, but I ate like a king every shift :)

    • @hova5025
      @hova5025 Před 28 dny +2

      All the free......Diarrhea, King!!!!

    • @ETAisNOW
      @ETAisNOW Před 28 dny

      It’s interesting how people justify stealing something worth money easier than stealing the actual money

    • @chrishitchcock7977
      @chrishitchcock7977 Před 26 dny

      Don’t listen to these weebs, take this and pile drive it into your heart :”hell yeah”

    • @ETAisNOW
      @ETAisNOW Před 26 dny

      @@chrishitchcock7977 what are you even talking about right now?

  • @antonioavella9905
    @antonioavella9905 Před 26 dny +1

    Two wrongs don't make a right lmfao

  • @justinbrazel1925
    @justinbrazel1925 Před 28 dny +1

    Spiders make silk in Louisiana?

  • @dakotatotten5355
    @dakotatotten5355 Před 28 dny +13

    We had a 3 shirts for price of 2 on all our stuff . So you pay for 2 shirts get one free or pay for 2 pants get one free and I would hit that button and never tell the customer and after my shift pick out like 3-4 shirts / pants and take them home . I got a whole new wardrobe in like 2 weeks . I could wear a new shirt with out doubling it for weeks . I was a asshole but my manager was the one that told me about it . I still feel bad about it hahaha 😂 sorry Steve and Barry’s

  • @paulwilliams6415
    @paulwilliams6415 Před 28 dny

    Is that carrot top. 2:33

  • @mike2312p
    @mike2312p Před 26 dny

    Im trying to think what mall matt would of worked at??? I dont think concord mall had a brewsters so my guess would be granite run mall. Plymouth and k of p would of been a far commute.

    • @tarawhite986
      @tarawhite986 Před 26 dny

      @mike2312p
      Would it be the old Galleria Mall that used to be right in Center City?

    • @mike2312p
      @mike2312p Před 26 dny

      @@tarawhite986 with the movie theater? I didn't think about that

    • @mattlitzenberg9623
      @mattlitzenberg9623 Před 24 dny

      I know what Brysters he workers at. There is a Brysters like 10 minutes from the concord mall by the Kohl Library and the Laspadas Hoagies. There is a high chance that the Shaman served me ice cream as a child

  • @BL_762
    @BL_762 Před 23 dny

    Matt should rock a bowl cut or a Edgar cut

    • @PRICEX
      @PRICEX Před 22 dny

      Bowl cut would go hard

  • @danthomas3112
    @danthomas3112 Před 28 dny +7

    I worked on a turnpkie collecting tolls after high school partime time during college damn we stole so much money

  • @austinhowell3463
    @austinhowell3463 Před 25 dny +1

    Little less than 850$ today for 500 in 2003 when Matt was 17

  • @Peter-zg3em
    @Peter-zg3em Před 26 dny

    i'm so glad these two hit it off. shane's instantly funny, cusker takes a few episodes until you realize what makes him tick and his purity. he and theo have so many things in common even if they do have a very different delivery. they're humble guys, they're willing to grow. most comedians have the swagger of shane, the coolest guy in the room with an immediate appeal to most. these two are quietly the coolest dudes in the room and it might take a bit until you realize that.

  • @ML-kx9gz
    @ML-kx9gz Před 24 dny

    lol @ scoop nuts

  • @jonvia
    @jonvia Před 16 dny +1

    Just an m'goodboy trying to make money for his chicken tendies and special sauce.

  • @rfs81
    @rfs81 Před 27 dny +6

    This dude makes the Carny look like a Saint

  • @waynecampbell8531
    @waynecampbell8531 Před 27 dny +2

    I used to take in donations at a (for profit) thrift store and stole stuff every single day. It was exhilarating.

  • @kornflakes420
    @kornflakes420 Před 28 dny +1

    Ha. Jesus' 30hr work week.
    "Sorry, I'm off the clock."

  • @John-mf1sz
    @John-mf1sz Před 27 dny

    Holy hell.
    Ive never, up into this point in my life met anyone that I could relate to as much as McCusker.
    Grade A++ 👍🏼
    I had a very similar scheme going on with out of state truckers; especially when our cameras literally did not work for months on end.
    I’ll say the same for thing now that I said then; prove it.
    Especially when these audits are only done once a quarter.
    Come on, now…You may as well be asking for it at that point.
    And to be clear, this was a large chain not some Mom and Pop place.
    I’d never do that if that were the case.
    Corporate can more than take the hit, though.

  • @mamterilleq
    @mamterilleq Před 28 dny

    Real enemies bahaha

  • @Michael-jr5ie
    @Michael-jr5ie Před 26 dny

    “ how far do you think Hitler commuted to get to the holocaust?”

  • @skibbydweez2647
    @skibbydweez2647 Před 27 dny

    Former life of crime
    Proceeds to rob Nickles quarters from sweet shop

  • @CharlieL292
    @CharlieL292 Před 23 dny

    Jesus only worked 30 hours a week? 😂

  • @trentnoble10
    @trentnoble10 Před 28 dny +1

    In high school, before we were 18 we stole the FUCK outta CCC's from WalJart & any store that carried Cough & Cold Coricidin. I tripped balls on cough meds from like 16-22 nonstop! Lmfao I never get colds, still to this day! I think all those CCCs supercharged my sickness defense systems!

    • @rdel2007
      @rdel2007 Před 27 dny +6

      I think it probably had the opposite effect lol

    • @goofballbiscuits3647
      @goofballbiscuits3647 Před 27 dny +1

      It broke you and made you blind to your own downfall 🎉

  • @hen8950
    @hen8950 Před 27 dny

    Mccusker is super likable. I bet he’s a good man.

  • @JimNortonsAlcoholism
    @JimNortonsAlcoholism Před 28 dny +4

    Nice bot comments

    • @notagiantseaslug5523
      @notagiantseaslug5523 Před 28 dny

      I’ve seen you comment before and I’m so curious about your username. You’ve obviously had it forever, and quite possibly could you be Jim Norton? Or what the fuck? And also what the fuck is up withthese bot comments? Is that something you can pay for as a channel? Help me, Jim Norton, you are my only hope.

    • @PeterBulka-nf3rn
      @PeterBulka-nf3rn Před 28 dny

      Crazy same pics and all joined a few hours ago.. like what’s the point??

  • @crryder44
    @crryder44 Před 24 dny

    "If you work 40s ur part time"💯

  • @Initial__B
    @Initial__B Před 26 dny +1

    baby cone baby cone baby cone

  • @user-uo7xi3fh6y
    @user-uo7xi3fh6y Před 26 dny

    I owe the Restaraunt I managed a good $5k at least. Too easy to steal cash when you’re the manager and can do mental math/write down the amounts

  • @aphextwin2612
    @aphextwin2612 Před 28 dny +1

    matt is so dope

  • @benmeadows391
    @benmeadows391 Před 28 dny +2

    The owners came in that day cus they knew he was stealing I guarantee it

    • @Waawaaweewaa_
      @Waawaaweewaa_ Před 22 dny

      Owners came in before he started stealing you complete moron 😂😂😂

  • @waynecampbell8531
    @waynecampbell8531 Před 27 dny +1

    I used to take in donations at a (for profit) thrift store and stole shit every single day. It was exhilarating.

  • @yankquinn9992
    @yankquinn9992 Před 26 dny

    😂😂😂

  • @johnnybradsher7021
    @johnnybradsher7021 Před 27 dny +1

    bro this is not his criminal past

  • @guineveremoonmist1060
    @guineveremoonmist1060 Před 28 dny

    Stealing was so fun as a teen God forgive me lol

  • @jessetree13
    @jessetree13 Před 28 dny

    Now I wanna know how many hours Jesus worked for real

  • @jessesshow1
    @jessesshow1 Před 28 dny +2

    This is the first Theo interview I can actually sit and watch

    • @jimirsayssponsor5844
      @jimirsayssponsor5844 Před 28 dny +2

      Agreed I like Theo but sometimes he tries too hard to be random and say some weird shit it reminds me of a child. Like you don’t always have to try & be funny

    • @jessesshow1
      @jessesshow1 Před 28 dny +1

      @@jimirsayssponsor5844 he tried to hard ALL of the time like bruh just have a convo and let the funny stuff happen , he’s actually having a conversation with Matt

    • @tomhiggins8509
      @tomhiggins8509 Před 28 dny +1

      ⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@jimirsayssponsor5844 that’s kinda his whole thing though, so what do you like about him

    • @Heopful
      @Heopful Před 28 dny

      You didnt cry from laughing at the "two wrongs dont make a right" line?

  • @tonythetiger1600
    @tonythetiger1600 Před 24 dny

    He 4 got the time he was top shotta n popin percs n runn8ng tge block