How To Get Your Husband To Stop Lying To You
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- čas přidán 1. 07. 2024
- “He could have told me the truth-but he didn’t...why did he lie to me!?” When your husband lies to you, it may break your trust. It may cause you to wonder... “Will he always lie to me?” Or, “Is there some way to stop this?”
In this video, you’ll hear Dr. Joe Beam’s insight on “lying.” It’s common to think that people lie because that’s what they’ve always done- it doesn’t cause any problems in their conscience to lie. However, this type of person, a “liar-liar,” isn’t common.
It is more likely that your husband is lying to you to protect you or to get out of trouble. Sometimes, people lie in order to put up a safeguard around themselves or around the ones they love- doing so out of “protection.” While the intention is protection, these types of lies aren’t necessarily perceived as protection. Many times, these lies feel more like deception.
If your husband isn’t lying to protect you, it could be that he is lying to “get out of trouble.” He may want to avoid the consequences of his actions whether it’s a little issue or a bigger ordeal. In this, it’s important to ask yourself- how are you reacting when you discover something he’s done? We aren’t justifying the fact that he’s lying to you, but it’s important that you respond to him in a way that can help build your relationship.
If the lie or the issue in your marriage seems to big to handle, or feels like a crisis, we’d love to help. We have resources that have helped thousands of couples and we’d love to help you too.
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To all the women here, let’s just do our parts. The reason we are even on this video because all of us are hurting in some way or the other. I prob can’t comprehend the hurt some of you may face on a daily basis but wow, there is a reward for evil doers and selfish people and I know it..... you are a good woman and continue to do Good.
Thank you 🙏🏽
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Thank you
Thank you! What a lovely thing to say/type 😁 May God bless you! ❤️❤️❤️
@@sammnew ❤️❤️
My husband is a jerk that is why he lies.
Why should I analyze my reactions ? He shouldn't lie consecutively.. maybe I wouldnt be such a bitch if he would just act right...
Sigh I gotta end this.
He is not talking about the ones that never stop. He is only saying to look at your reaction and see if he is lying to avoid conflict. Otherwise, liars are the hardest of all.
Good one I have been Almost. 25;yrs And the other day. The bug lie Man never paid my rent Hinding. Over 3000 $$$ I just counted that much had to go care for my sister dieing of cancer. I'm SORRY. I'm 58 with lupus I think it's time ... GB you
@@Revert2017 25 Almost intired treapt i paid now he started Hinding money. 25 Almost bim leaving. 10 hrs away please pray.
Yea this guy is off
@@Revert2017 Lying to avoid conflict is never an excuse to lie to someone. I dont understand why people resonate like this, As if ” Let me lie in my relationship 25 times because I knew my partner would get mad so I lied”. Not Ok!
Spot on, I realise now after 26 years that my husband lied to me from the very start of our relationship. My husband is a liar, liar.
😢 We excuse their behavior and justify it sometimes. But, if they don't want help... What do you do?!
Same with me
man sorry to hear that that’s horrible
@@GypsyCellist we must leave them honestly it weighs us down as women and ages us. it’s very childish and difficult to get through life with a liar you don’t know what’s what it’s hard so i feel the only thing to do is breakup cuz they had to have been a liar their whole life
My husband lies about everything he’s the sort of person who would say the skys pink when it’s blue.
mine too
Wait, lying is disrespectful. If he lies to me, he had no respect for me or the relationship. Right?
Yes
So scenario 3, I am supposed to accept his lies so he doesnt feel bad???? How about my feelings of self worth when mu partner in life chooses to constantly lie? Hmmm.
Stop talking to them. If there’s no conversation they can’t lie.
Yeah, but if you don’t talk about anything, then how would communication be in the relationship?
Here is another man telling women how they need to respond to a man lying to them. Why not tell men how to stop with the bullshit. Where is that video, does anyone have a link?
One more time and I'm done. Marriage literally hanging by a thread. The lying drives me crazy! He has said that lying is normal and everyone does it. I try to ask him how he'd feel of he is lied to all the time, and he says that people lie to him and it's whatever smh. It's human to lie, but it doesn't make it right! It's so toxic and seriously causes so much anxiety and questioning my own sanity. I can't believe it, but my husband is a liar liar.
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Mine is a liar liar too. A thief a manipulator a bully
If he wanted to save the marriage ….. simple don’t lie
My husband lies about everything. He has become the 5yo that has chocolate cake all over his face and swears he didn't touch the chocolate cake. Small stupid things. Everything. He's driving me crazy. I walk around with a knot in my stomach all the time. It's gotten to a point where if I want the truth, I need to believe the opposite of whatever he says.
Hello Mr osekhametalor He can recover your relationship back
Text him on wha'txpp
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You should look up covert narcissism, gaslighting, triangulation.
For me, I'd say it's a mix of 2 and 3. He lied about his affaire to protect my feelings but also to cover his tracks.
They lie to protect themselves, men will avoid conflict at any cost, it's completely selfish, and takes YOUR choice away from you, whether you want to live wit a cheating husband... men are sorry they get caught!
@@marqann I agree. When my husband admitted he affair and then we started arguing all the time because of it all he keeps saying is "I regret telling you". And im like wow you keep saying "I regret telling you" but NOT ONCE have you said " i regret cheating in the first place." and that speaks volumes to me. It hurts
I just wanted to say, that this explanation of why a man lies to his wife is because he's afraid of her is ridiculous and it is victim blaming and wrong on so many levels! People lie because they want to lie. They lie to cover up their terrible behavior and actions. They lie because THEY ARE SELFISH!!!! So please, stop Defending the LIARS!
I don’t think Dr Joe is defending. More explaining the psychology. He fully admits he was a liar at one point.
Understanding is everything. Usually people only fully trust others they feel have a thorough understanding of them. Sadly in many marriages, couples can go 50+ together without ever CHOOSING to understand one another, due to various fears and doubts about themselves. Those couples never get to experience genuine happiness, joy, or bliss together. Sad.
Everyone lies!! Every single person... Having such a harsh reaction toward the behavior may mean you are far more guilty of it than you'd like to open your eyes to. We have to despise things in others that we despise in ourselves!
Mark and avoid those that cause pain in your life. Remember to forgive them and never trust them.Amen
It’s so sad and heartbreaking to see that there are so many women going through this. My husband and I have only been married for 8months. I found out he had been lying about EVERYTHING before we got married. I wish I called it off but I was scared of judgment. Now in the marriage, everything is just so bad. He’s a smoker, I didn’t know...he tells me he’s going somewhere but he’s actually somewhere else, uses drugs, I had no idea either. I am so sad a lot, i cry a lot, and I feel soo alone. I have no idea what to do. My mom is so traditional she just tells me to “be patient.” He doesn’t want to see a therapist together because he’ll feel “judged.” I am an amazing wife, i try to be. I am so done with him. I am so done with all of his bullshit
Leave him. Feel the pain and do it! Don’t listen to anyone except yourself.
You should go get legal help and divorce him based on his decieved lies and substance abuse.
Girl... I have been married 10 years and have kids with this man. Didn't see it coming. Just found out he's been cheating most, according to him (prob all), our marriage with strippers. Just saying you can cut ties now without being permanently attached due to kids, like I am
He won’t change….might be on best behavior for a while but will always go back to old patterns. Run
So the liar is to be understood,supported and not making feel judged ? What about consequences ?
What happens when you find that he lies to everyone and it isn't just you. Is that the first one?
Gaslighting
I asked my husband why he lies he said everybody lies but he is pathological with his lies
I can’t believe how it’s supposed the wife’s fault the husband lies. Unreal!!
It's not her fault and it's not about fault. It's about someone choosing to make choices that will actually have the best chance of saving your marriage if that's what you want.
Awe the poor husbands.... These horrible wife’s that are turning them into liars...
Some lie to cover actions which are in disagreement with partners over personal boundaries about provocative jokes, flirting and drinking.
*sigh* It's amazing how MH posts videos when I need them most. 🙏🏽
Great video and lots of perspectives to consider here. While understanding the 3rd type of liar, I feel at times the reason women go into parent mode is because the husband acts like a child 🥴. I’m not making a joke by far, however, if the husband behaves irresponsibly and is untrustworthy, what role are they leaving for the wife to reply in?
I’d honestly wish he’d just reply as my equal, vs attempting to conceal and cover. We’re both adults. No?
AGREE!!
Agree!
That is exactly why women go into parent role because their husbands are immature.
My husband wants explained to me after I confronted him numerous times about the lying that there’s different kinds of lies. That means he lies about all kinds of things in varying degrees. My husband is a liar liar. The best I can do is just not talk to him about anything at all because pretty much he lies about everything and anything and doesn’t really seem to think there’s anything wrong with it or at least he’s not trying to change it.
What if your husband is all 3? ugh..
Same
Too much blaming of the spouse....
Inviting the spouse to look at their own behavior is in no way blaming them!
Wow! I have a LIAR LIAR! Narcissistic, EVIL man in my life! God please help me.
So have I
Me too.
get out from relationship
I will pray. I pray you don't have children .. I don't but his step grand suffering his lies. If you cannn RUN. 🙌🧓
@@sukmawahyu5973 Did you leave I'm leaving After 25 almost Sad
My husband is a liar liar. I remember one time he asked me...what’s the difference between saying this or that...I replied the truth. It’s like he doesn’t understand the value of being truthful.
Mine says that it's not a big deal. "Everyone lies, so what"
Not only is my husband a liar, liar and a gaslighting narcissist, he refuses to get help
Mine too!
Same
This was actually excellent information thank you
Thank you so very much. You did an excellent job of teaching us about the different types of lies and the underlying root causes ~~ nice presentation!!!
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I think he should add to the "Get out of trouble lair", that the person who is lying feels that lie is not important. I would struggle with knowing that person kept it from me because they felt it wasn't a big deal..which, I might disagree. I understand the point he's making which is the intent of that person...poor judgement, but still not intending to be malicious.
ummmmm who wants to be with a chronic liar?
I am married to one and he lies about the dumbest shit.. ughhh. i cant believe anything he says.
I don't. But I am. I love him and just want to know how I should go about dealing with his betrayal and lies. He gets VERY defensive when I try to open a discussion about it. He is a liar liar and a liar who doesn't want to get caught for a Major reason (not infidelity). We’ve tried therapy and, he says it doesn’t help (I just think we had the wrong therapist). When he’s caught in a lie, he does not want to discuss it or explain why he lied and to “just drop it.” I want to save my marriage and family and want to do my part in being an understanding and reasonable wife but... he doesn’t give me very much to work with.
@@robinlynn898 me too. I cannot understand it, as it causes so many problems. Why keep doing something that is so destructive.... i just dont know what he gets out of it
liar-liars lie to qualified therapists.
Yes... sadly they do. They’ve become experts at it. It’s hard to find a therapist who can see through their lies. 😔
My husband has embezzled $150k of family funds towards us failing business. I’m sure he thinks he protecting me 😒 but let’s be honest he’s upset I found out
Thank you so much for providing insight on a liar. I couldn’t comprehend how someone can lie to someone they say they love.This video also showed me what I’ve been doing wrong to make it worse. I will be calling you soon. Again thank you.
Hello Mr osekhametalor He can recover your relationship back
Text him on wha'txpp
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While I agree the person being lied to should analyze their reactions however I also think you just gave people who lie a justification to continue to do so. It is hard not to build defense mechanisms to protect yourself again someone who lies to you all the time, it usually doesn’t start out that way.
Agreed! I need advice tho , My ex lied to me alot, But he said ” I lie and divert the truth a bit to south because I know you would go crazy and get mad”
Is that ok? To lie to someone because they knew the person would get mad? Because thats like saying ” Alright let me lie 24 times cuz I knew u would get mad”.
Agreed. It’s always on the person with better character to just keep tolerating bad behavior from others.
Yup! It feels like he validates their bad behavior. It pushes me away from their information on this page. Seems like they help the cheater more than the betrayed spouse.
You all are forgetting that he said when the thing your husband is hiding isn't actually that bad. That's when you look at your behavior and see what you might be doing that causes him to lie to you. If your husband is cheating or doing illegal stuff that will have major effects on you than you don't need to look at yourself. I have lied to my wife about minor things because she goes crazy about them and makes me feel like I'm a cheating no good husband who can't do anything right. That compounded over the years to where I just lied about everything because I was tired of being treated like a child. I'm wrong for lieing and should never do it. She made me want to lie because every little thing I did outside of the character she wanted me to be was a fight and I was left feeling depressed and suicidal because I didn't feel good enough.
Thank you so much advice
Victim shaming big time. Awful
Liar liar. Because his motto is deny deny deny. Same with one of his siblings. They're both calculating and manipulative.
I hated this advice
My husband doesn't seem to care anymore because when I cry and really need him to comfort me, he just ignores me and it only makes it worse. I am already struggling with health issues and depression is one of them! He never takes me anywhere anymore, he's just not in love with me anymore, he says he is but actions speak louder than words..I don't understand why or where did I go wrong?!
I try to communicate with him and he gets mad, he doesn't want communication, and yes I have caught him in lies.. this really breaks my heart...💔
Sweet SunShower, I feel that you are describing my husband. 💔😔
@@danilu07 I'm so sorry to hear that, it seems no one can be happy anymore 💔😥
Mee too 😔
Girl do things to make you happy. Join meetup. I like outdoor hobbies. It gives me life n make me forget my disappointment
As a wife of 20 years, i can tell you it is the wife's job to make the sacrifices and lower our expectations. I do have a good husband, but lying is like breathing to him. It just comes natural. It is my job, however to except that. It is also my job to change myself where I fall short in his eyes. It is my job to embrace his hobbies..and do mine alone. Welcome to married life.. If you don't take care of yourself, no-one else will. If you don't fix the marriage, no-one else will. It has to be you 100%. Are you up to that?
My husband was the lier lier type, I left
This is quality advice. Thanks.
BECAUSE HE CAN.
Spot on!
Thanks!😌
Thank you for explaining in detail each kind of a liar. I had no idea there were that many categories of liars. I pray God convicts and grows people into being more honest in their relationships and everyday life. God bless you and yours thank you for the free resources too!!! Great video, very inspiring.
Hello, this was a really great video. Do you offer some sort of a course that I could review in regards to lying in a marriage? Thanks
My husband was to lie to me all the time and tht was to cause huge problems in our marriage it was to frustrate me and i never trusted him or believe him at no time and whn he did change was the nearing time to leave me and depart this world and i am broken up inside with no healing
Thank you
As a man in a male-male marrige, i can tell you there are so many times where my spouse lies and i have a discussion with him about what lying makes me feel like. How do i get through to a compulsive liar without just cutting it off? Ive been following your advice as well as discussing the situation. Tell me what ive done to make him lie in those situations please?
Thumbs up if you agree with this ladies and gents! We all know you like lies ladies... Why do you think we always say, "you don't look fat" when we get asked that classic loaded question? I believe it comes down to what the guy is lying about in regards to each individual and is subjective by nature. Lies can be both good and bad like the speaker is saying. Ones that protect you and ones that can hurt you. I guarantee you won't get along with a guy that is brutally honest like myself as you would need to have the patience of a saint as you'll think of me as being rude and inconsiderate. Lies shouldn't be viewed in black and white. In most cases its a grey area.
My husband has been lying to me because of another woman he left and filed for divorce
Very profound and straightforward!! Mine lied of a small simple thing he did not have to because of my reaction and splitting on him to his mom previously i never realized that i might have embarrassed him and and then same problem small like before and he did it again??? Is he scared i will phone his mom again its so easy to tell the truth and there will be nothing to fight about but though he might be afraid of my reaction his lies totally made me scared to trust anything he says nowadays to the point that i snoop i don't understand why the lies was necessary in the first place because it is not even major yet small as it is it is tearing away at our marriage because i dont understand why he did it and it damaged me in a way that he does not seem to comprehend and my new investigating persona is beating him up and by doing all this i am pushing him away but still he gets angry but don't realize that this is who he created and again the result for me will be endless lies because i accuse him and investigate on him to get peace of mind i am lost
He's lying to protect her, the more he curses at me the more I know he's lying, he's knows he's lying and the more he gets angrier at me and uses the most filthiest language to me
He lies becuz there’s something seriously wrong with him. After 20 years I’ve had enough.
Evil is evil period
"Ladies, here's another thing you are responsible for doing..."
Actually I hate lies but hearing this has helped me realise that I do overreact and he has explained that he feels inferior, lied to protect me, so I’m making it worse! It’s a hard one!😔
Step number one: Don't lose your mind when your husband tells you the truth.
Well this is stupid advice. The man shouldn't be lying of he doesn't want more problems. Lying abt how many beers and lying about anything else and everything else eventually gets to a serious situation on which they lie then you find out and he tells you that you have to lie for him and you end up having to lie for the sake of money needed for the children... number 1 and 3 go together as at least one of their parents lied and told them to lie at times... this advice is no good.
After watching this video I realize my husband is a troubled liar.😔 it’s me. Thank you 🙏🏻 I have just learned a great deal about myself. Before this video, I have watched PIES. THANK YOU 😘
I will not and cannot be with someone who isn’t honest.
I can recommend you to this woman who help me bring back my wife back just in 48 hours
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I want to see another video from a woman's prospective why they lie in a relationship. Mine doesn't necessarily lie to me. However she does keep secrets and withholds important information and believes it not to be lying. What is your thoughts on this ladies? Is withholding important information or telling half the truth considered lying?
Jonathan S Absolutely, withholding information is DECEPTION and a LIE OF OMISSION !
I would say if she’s lying or hiding something she is already ashamed and hurt and it can be hard for her to talk about the struggle. Maybe she feels out of control and needs help
My biggest pet peeve and deal breaker for a friend or a significant other is a LIAR unattractive and if you married one leave forget that!
My husband is a lair lair. I hate him
What about the husband who lies since he says his wife will make a big deal about something but in actuality he is lying because he got caught? Ie being too chummy with a female coworker? Inside jokes with her, him becoming her confidant and ear for venting her frustrations at work?? Women have a sense of innate intuition and when the husband lies, withholds info and is deceitful then says it's his wife's insecurities prying into his business?
He lies so he doesn't get in trouble or disappoint me .. NOT because of my reaction but because of his childhood and his parents and mostly father .. so I am paying to consequence for his parents actions .. so now what ???
Get him help. He needs to process the childhood traumas. Sending prayers. I'm on the same boat as your husband. I know exactly what he's going through.
My husband is the 3rd one.. he feels inferior and I don’t how to help him change his self worth. I need help on how to interact to let him know I’m not superior and I don’t feel superior to him. He said he cheats on me because of my “personality” which is really harsh but watching this i know what I’m doing wrong. Yelling and he’s even told me. I need help working on me not to fly off the radar when he tells me something. Get out of trouble liar 🤥.
And I’m not excusing his cheating at all but I did blow up on him.
What you are doing wrong is staying with a man that sounds like my narcissistic ex. He played the inferior card too. A healthy good man wouldnt cheat in the first place let alone blame you in anyway. Sounds like he is deflecting. Please look up toxic relationships because this is not your fault at all and isn't excusable.
I would Run Mine started hitting until I got a POT ON HIS HEAD THEN MOVED 10 HRS NOW I GAVE HIM A FRIEND CHANGE AFTER 24 HINDING. MONEY BOTH. GIRL I PRAY U LEARN. ITS HARD BUT WE GOT GOD
@@JH-tk1mv So Thank God mine lied allnour 24. From MONEY TO PORN TO HINDING ALOT OF$_ LAST WEEK. OHH GID HELP ME IM LEAVING LORD WILLING 5/17/21 FATHER HELP ME 10 HRS AWAY I ALMOST HATE HIM BUT I LOVE GOD I NO
thanks for your advice sir , I have sent you an email .. I need help in my marriage
I act like his parent because he refuses to act like a husband..hidden money, hidden bank accounts, stealing money from our business…. And I am not supposed to react??? I am confused…
He lied to me about money.he got easily get mad.he is so defensive instead to explain to me he said i distrust him.
Namaste~_* Great video... ths.
A better question would be "why did you cheat?"
He prolly read that book where men should be deaf and women should be blind within a marriage ...i am too attentive and I'm trust issues problems
He is
help
Dr, why should he afraid that I will know,ohh he will feel rejected, thank you
I’m here for my wife lying. It pains me that there is a video for men lying specifically.
He lies about smoking- he lies about buying cigarettes, & I hate it.
Hes all off them
I'm thinking of breaking my home because of this
Why does my husband lie to me? "He's a man."
I think u can help me, SA.
My husband a clever lier
What on my mind he lying coz he want to prove that he not lying but many told me that my husband has another kid to another woman. I ignore everything coz I want to save our marriage coz I had a kids. But its difficult n painful. If the I will that is true how can I accept it. As for I can't accept it and I want to break up our marriage coz pain is like an illness uncurrable. 😭😭😭
Live life as a timepass, give 1st priority to yourself and play ur role perfectly,
pretty sure mine is the first one :(
I married a liar! I didn’t find out until after we got married 😢 He continue to lie and gets angry. I don’t have a biblical reason for divorce. I’m trusting God.
In the same boat. Stay strong 💪
He talk only me in he heart and speak tell me don’t worry about house money you stop work me agat you me take care you fokus stay at home
why can't i control my blatter?
Josh Gott probably because it's a bladder, troll...smh.
Dumb
Me to hello mr iam dewi from indonesia I married with man from American but started me married with him he lie so much
What if he talks to other woman behind ur back
I can recommend you to this woman who help me bring back my wife back just in 48 hours
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What about telling these women their being insecure or jealous or maybe they for get the husband birthday.
Nice way to blame a woman for another one of men's indiscretion. I'm exhausted with this. My husband is a liar liar. He's lied about seeking help for his lying. Stop blaming women for men doing horrible things!
why husband backbites his wife
This guy is awful, blaming the wives for grown men lying
Everybody lies. Men, women, children, priests, presidents, judges, counselors, teachers,.etc. Regardless of title or gender it's human nature. The severity of the lies will vary, but nobody is a saint. We are all tainted.. products of our environment. If you don't like someone you're surrounding yourself with, leave. You're not a tree. Faith and happiness to everyone 💕
The third liar
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