How To Write Poetry For Beginners | 5 Easy Tips To Start Writing Poetry
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- čas přidán 4. 07. 2024
- Looking to learn how to write poetry for beginners? In this video I'm teaching you 5 tips on writing poetry. (Actually, you're getting 9 tips if you watch the whole video!)
After watching this video you'll walk away knowing how to write rhymes, alliteration, in metre AND even know how to write a sonnet!
Grab your FREE 'Become a Working Poet' PDF: www.adamgary.co.uk/become-a-p...
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thanks for this video
do check out the poem i wrote
czcams.com/video/6i7ngLjJI8g/video.html
Lore, door and you forgot "more"
why are you saying " how much nicer"
I'm going to check out this link thank you for suggesting.
Nicolas Cage never ceases to amaze me with his talents.
LOL
Had not thought that. Now there is no escaping it lol
Lol
Lol, but my mind first dove to Robert Sheehan
That is totally what I thought too!
i grew up learning that poetry is so structured and confusing, and i just can’t get away from that pattern of thinking
I used to have this same exact problem. It caused writers block so bad. Once I let go of that, I’ve written the best poems that have moved even myself. Even if it’s just two lines. I rhyme when I feel like it, but most times I’ve got too much to say and it feels too restricting. If it’s a more profound thought, I just let the pen take it away. Sylvia Plath is a great example as well. Sometimes what she does is she sprinkles a rhyme or two in there and just goes off without rhyming again. And I don’t always understand her stuff, so in order to gain an appreciation for it and try to dig deeper, I go line by line and look up explanations on what she’s trying to display, or to understand the general gist of the poem and what she’s trying to convey. Look up a bunch of different poets to get inspiration, old and new! What’s awesome is everyone has totally different styles from each other, and the more you read the more you start to adapt to that more free way of thinking. A poet I’m really into right now is Shay Alexi. Her and I have very similar styles of writing in the sense that we add a lot of imagery and metaphors to our stuff. My favorite poem by her is “And This Time The Butter Rejects The Knife.” I’ll link the video, she is an INCREDIBLE writer! Sorry for the lengthy comment, I just hope that if you’re into writing that this helps you to be more free because it truly is such a therapeutic and amazing outlet to have!
Edit: The poem czcams.com/video/9UuSdpUMnD0/video.html
Hey @Henry Heller,
Your comment in itself is poetic, I tell ya
I like the rhyming of “confusing” and “thinking”
The lines also have a badass rhythm
You should consider expounding on this foundation
To complete a poem, yet to be seen in this nation
Truly, truly express how you really feel
About your misleading ordeal
I’d love to read your impending hit
If you’d care to share it.😉
Blessings!🙏🏽
Same, but now I just realized I like poetry and I'm currently writing my own poems on wattpad
When I heard the clouds roaring
I remembered his words
They were soft but harsh
Like the drops of rain
Calmly falling on my window
While my eyes looked outside
Through the edges of my tears
I remembered
The tone in which he spoke to me
The body language that made me realize
I was someone not worth mattering
I wish, I wish I could stop things
At that time
But all I have now, is soft but harsh raindrops
I just wrote first time with 0 thoughts, plz give opinions
Wooow, it is really good
Nice
Loved this
Good try,keep moving
Good foundations to build upon. As with your poem, I like to start with a narrative. My advice with this is to show more, tell less. Use imagery and metaphor to illustrate aspects such as the harsh words. There is imagery here already...I'd say develop that further 😄
Congratulations on starting your poetry journey! I hope you find this video of some use. I also have a free pdf you can download which I'll link for you in the description! 🌹
Thank you for this I'll let you know when i am done with my fist poem. Thank you sooo much again
This has helped thank you so much.
@@badhri492
Your Poem Baka 😖
Travelling The Aether Back To You
To A Land So FarAway
I Feel The Distance In Between
Fragment Of The World That Used To Be
Speaking Through The River Stream 🎶 😖 Baka 😖
I have written this poem
*Address to the Rain God*
I sat gravely before the window,
watching the dark that laid before me
profoundly thinking for a moment or so,
about the Showery world that I could see.
And up the heaven, I looked henceforth
Towards the paradise, till the eye's sought
'What makes him rain such?'
'Brutish he is' is what I thought.
Above the world I looked far end
And beneath came the God of Rain
Thundering the skies and the heart of men
stiffening the shower that had went insane.
I stood there aquivering with fear
for he stood in front of me
and asked me for my remembrance
knowing well that it is he who caused it.
Politely I said with tongue no less,
"This world is beautiful with creations unparallel"
But the unstoppable rains have made such mess
Why don't you stop that you shall!
'It is you the humans', replied he 'who pray for rain'
The rain that quenches the Earth's thirst
Deepening the swift streams that long last
And then calling for it to return to the den.
And Oh! the inner me felt deafeated
But I stood there losing no faith
But that was prime, this is subordinate
"Has the thirst, vanished not yet!"
The rain has caused havoc on crust
The temporary world is biting the dust
Fields overflowed by the tyrant rain
'Floods and rain', are they same?
The king of splashes was pleased with me,
At least what I thought from what I saw
And replied with a strong voice
With the winds added to his draw.
Glad are you, jolly are all,
Happy are you when the rains do fall.
Irrigating the fields," the mother earth weeps
For the joy, that water beneath seeps.
The joy lasts shorter do remember,
For nothing lasts Forever
and sorrow after joy is a chain of cycle
Each in it's time is completely great
So he told and so he went
Leaving an impression that long lasted
Shaken was I and ended up in faint
Oh the conversation was just what I dreamt.
The story still doesn't end here and I ain't,
For it teaches that nothing is permanent.
Time heals everything, just wait for the day
For joy and sorrow both are great.
Joy comes after Sorrow, misery after happiness
Just don't look behind the eternal fence.
Life is not a bed of thorns, wise men say,
For a man on alms is a king next day
III CANT WRITE A FREAKING POEM WHYYY
T-T
I GONNA GIVE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
@@kevinnguyen552 just let your mind run freely
@@lynnaxel5611 ok I try
Thank you Adam. This was very insightful and I really appreciate you taking the time to share your knowledge with all of us. Please take care of that flu/cold. Hope you’re feeling better soon. I truly look forward to these videos and learn a lot from them. ❤️❤️
Oh thank you so much! I'm very glad you are enjoying the videos and it's my pleasure to share what I know with you! Definitely looking forward to some days off work to rest up. Take care! 🌹
my first poem lol.
She was claustrophobic
Trapped in those sturdy walls
The sturdy walls of the castle
She was a princess
The most gorgeous princess of them all
I was the knight
I visited her often
I protected her
From all her worries
She trusted me
The feeling was mutual
Until one day
She fell in love with the prince
He was so charming
Something I could never be
I don’t blame her
Thus we were both women
I never got my happy ending
uh yeah that’s my first idea. a lot of poems i see have multiple stanzas or spaces in between the lines, but i’m not sure if and where i need any.
Thank you for sharing you poem! I've actually just launched a new poetry platform where you can share your work, gain supporting feedback, learn new techniques and discuss all things poetry! I would love to see you over there!
www.thepoetrycove.com
5:21 Was that a fart,
as you spoke from the heart?
At five twenty-one in time,
such cheeky a sound is a surely crime...
Ahaha! No, it’s actually me swallowing! For some reason I swallow awkwardly loud and as my mic is placed on my collar, it picks it up in almost all of my videos. This gave me a good chuckle though, thanks Kathleen!
I have a good laugh reading this :)
This is super cool. Enjoyed your tips. Experimenting is key.
This is such an insightful video Adam! Thank you for doing this, I'm inspired to write again.. You always help me in some way or another, always a motivator! 🙏🏼♥️🙏🏼
And take care, get well soon!! ♥️♥️
Thank you Urmi, very glad you enjoyed the video. I appreciate the support you give on here and instagram! 🌹
My favourite sonnet too. I have written over and over in order to memorise it. As I’m not there yet, I keep reading it over, and love it more with each reading. Thank you for this vid, I gave enjoyed it.
I'm like a moth drawn to your flame
Set me ablaze, but I'd still feel the same
Sitting here, in this hurt, comphrenhending why you won't reciprocate
Maybe our stars didn't cross right, maybe just blame it on fate.
My first ever poem (I'm still working on it)
Thank you for sharing you poem! I've actually just launched a new poetry platform where you can share your work, gain supporting feedback, learn new techniques and discuss all things poetry! I would love to see you over there!
www.thepoetrycove.com
Hey!! Have you completed it.. I'd love to read it. You're so great.. it's such a good start..I can't believe you're trying poetry for the first time
just realized Poe's rhymes remind me a lot of mcr lyrics! i would not be surprised if he was an influence.
I am so stirred with excitement to simply write.
I've been looking for tips on how to write poetry better and I've found it! Lol. I just realized I like poetry and now I'm writing my own poems on wattpad 🙂
Thanks to Gary, I can improve my poems.
I LOVE THIS GUY!!!! :) LOVE YOUR VIDEOS
I would say I regret meeting you.
But if i could go back,
Back in time,
When the butterflies had yet to be turned to stone,
When i couldn’t imagine you hurting me so,
I would.
A summer sunset,
Nervously waiting in the car.
Waiting to finally meet you,
I have to say, I was not dissapointed.
Your smile just like i’d imanged it.
Your voice just like i’d dreamed.
''If i only knew all the tears you’d cause.''
My head screamed.
this is copyrighted dont steal it thank you.
I've played around with some poetry in the past. This is my stab at it
A simple introduction was made
I knew in that moment
My world started to become frayed
And this was going to be potent
I feel my world melt
Safety and security comes over me
For I haven't felt
This free
Flowing through this cathartic river
I see the authentic
I begin to shiver
To this antiseptic
Envisioning a bright new day
I am seeing the way
Thank you for sharing you poem! I've actually just launched a new poetry platform where you can share your work, gain supporting feedback, learn new techniques and discuss all things poetry! I would love to see you over there!
www.thepoetrycove.com
This is my first poem. It may be long, but I felt it was right. Please feel free to give constructive criticism.
||is it just me||
Is it just me?
As I walk down my road of misery and terror
I always think, "could I have done that better?"
All through my life of anxiety and dispare
Was I never good enough for them there?
Is it just me?
Or do you feel this way too
As if when you walk you have to just stare at your shoes.
Never making contact as you think all the eyes are on you.
But it's just the spotlight effect messing with you
Or is it just me?
Having this thought of whether your liked or not.
Its crazy i know but why not, Why not feel the knot growing and growing within your heart.
Aching for love and aching for joy?
Aching for fun and aching for the happiness.
Is it just me or is it you too?
absolutely amazing
This so awesome, informative, funny, and relaxing. Absolutely brilliant.
I'm new at writing poems, this was really helpful.
Your thought is Good, Thank you I will try on my Poetry
This is awesome thank you!!
Such an amazing teacher you are With such a nice voice too! I’m excited to start writing poetry. Shakespeare is my inspiration 💖
Thanks lots of great info
I think it`s so important to both see and hear poetry and, you showed it amply in the video. Will you be able to show more about sonnets? Keep up the good work.
On days I feel I can't get out of bed
I always think of you
Your energy makes me excited to live another day
Something only, you could bring to my array
Energy is the source of happiness
It is the fuel that feeds each and every soul
It is the part of me that makes me feel whole
You give me too much credit for thinking I have it all together
Even though, I have no idea what I would do without you
This is my second poem I ever wrote. I feel its very sweet and is for my bae
I'm interested in poems now because I discovered Jim Morrison
I would love to have reviews on my poem:
Titled: Don’t let go of my hand
I think back to the night we met
Like touch of a ray of sunchine on a beautiful day
The first touch of your soft skin, I will never forget
As we talked and laughed the night away
The first sight caused sparks to fly
The first touch caused an eruption, the fire ran high
But now here I am with my hart in my hands
Frozen in time
What has happened to us, I can’t understand
How can love bring us here, it’s not really clear
But my love, please don’t let go of my hand
I promise, together we will fly out of here
And don’t be afraid as we fly high
For I will never let you fall into the sand
My love please don’t let go of my hand
I will make you understand
That we can be happy again
Stay in my arms all along
We will hear our harts singing a song
Letting us know, to whom they truly belong
(My first poem)
Best video Ive seen on poetry today. Would love to see one on poetry slam.
particularly as non native speaker this is the best explanation of a iambic pentameter I have heard thank you!
Thank you!
I have been writing poetry for many ayear now, however it has come to light i'm dyslexic. Which in all fairness has not surprised me. I took an english class starting at the botton of course, as my writen english was so poor. Now coming to the end of my three year course, I am more able to understand what it is im writing. I am still dyslexic , that will never change and does make writing different. I have never been to college nor have i ever been taught poetry. Yet it seem to come from , like you said " deep inside". I have shown my wirting to one or two people and i have to admit, they loved it. Obviously not all my writing is good , far from it ! I'm in my 50s and want so much to write nearly every day. So i have been lookiing for guidance and happened to stumble across your youtube channel today and found it very insightful. Thank you !
Thanks for this video! It's pretty much exactly the primer I was looking for. Now at least I have some idea where to start!
Taking the pressure off has been so important for me.
I always loved poetry and I always wanted to write poetry but because I wanted to be amazing at it from the start I kind of spoiled the fun/ beauty of it for me.
I pressured myself into writing about big themes such as love and the meaning of life and death. But by doing that I didn't allow my thoughts to flow freely. I realized that for me the only way to write good poetry is to stop trying to write good poetry.
Pressured writing will never be able to make you feel the same emotions as writing that flew freely out of your mind
Hey! I answer your comment in tomorrow's video! 😀
"If My Heart Could Talk and Other Poems" by David Sanford is my debut book of poetry detailing my experiences living with my heart condition. It's available in paperback on Amazon now! As poets, I believe we're a small community and need support. I hope someone gives my work a chance and finds solace and strength in my words. Thank you. Poetry is beautiful!
Thank you for sharing you poem! I've actually just launched a new poetry platform where you can share your work, gain supporting feedback, and discuss all things poetry! I would love to see you over there!
www.thepoetrycove.com
Explained very well! You have a new sub man. Very playful cool and sauve way of doing this, I was entertained🌹🌹 Thanks mate🥰🌹
Thanks for the vid!!! I love the eye wink lol
Thank you so much ☺️
i just wrote a poem that i’m planning on turning into a song. this is the first verse in the chorus, but i’m writing a second verse in a few weeks. the whole idea is to write a verse right after a break up, and one a few weeks after when i’ve started to to heal.
[verse]
end on good terms
that’s okay i guess
it’s for your mental health
and i want that to be at its best
_
i still miss the little things
that we used to do
but i’m cool with good terms
cause i’m afraid of losing you
_
we talk everyday
like we used to do
but it’s different
god i wish you fucking knew
_
talking to you
has got me losing rest
cause there’s one thing i gotta say
i gotta get it off my chest
[chorus]
cause i’m in love and everyday i fall more in love
but you’re moving on
man what the fuck
i don’t know what to do
man i feel so stuck
yeah we broke up but
you still got me starstruck
Great tips, Adam. I just discovered your channel and will be checking out more of your videos.
I encourage my students to keep writer's notebooks - to do poetry exercises, to play with language, form, rhyme and metre. My favorite exercise to give to students is to take an ordinary object, give it human or animal characteristics, and then make it dance, walk, or fly. My example was turning a sidewalk into a snake, slithering and hissing its way to town. This allowed me to use so many other great poetic techniques. Poetry is such fun and so is playing around with words and language!
Hellor Mr Gary, today I have just found your channel. And after listening to your explanations I bravely tried my creativity and luck:
Adam Gary is so friendly teacher
Your teaching is excellent and simple
After learning poetry I feel better
Would want to entertain other people
I love your page, Wow
Can't wait to see some of your poetry in ghost rider 3
Thank you man! Just found your channel by chance. Let me know if you ever want to collaborate on anything in the future. I'm a software developer and musician as well as a mentor in technology
poetry tells us a lot i dont kow why people cant inderstand that sometimes
Probably because it often can be interpreted in different ways. And some people are to lazy to really think about it in depth.
Very informative video! I think a video just dedicated to sonnets would be really helpful
Thank you so much! I'll certainly have a think about getting a video out on sonnets! 🌹
Walking with the grace of a doll
and the fear of a child
wandering through the long path that is life
it's not linear
it's not clear
but you know what seems near
wandering through the forest
wandering through the snow
but never knowing where you're supposed to go
blindfolded to the light
blindfolded to it's delight
but always know that you'll survive for another night
I would love you to do a video on acting sonnets. I really enjoyed this video.
Hi Margaret, I actually teach how to perform poetry at The Poetry Cove Academy if you ever fancied it! www.thepoetrycove.com/academy-online 😀
You can keep it simple yet elegant. I love this guy found my guy lol, you do have Nicolas cage vibes though lol
Druids used rhyme to cast their spells.
Will you be my valentine? I am asking for a charity, they told me that a date for you is somewhat of a rarity.
love this❤️❤️
@Steve Weiser, this is good. Did you finish it?
this video is very helpful for teenagers like me who's interested in poetry! thank you ❤️
Lore, More and Door rhyme.
When I was young, people were suggesting that we didn't like Shakespeare, but we did, we were fascinated with him, especially the fact that his words are still relevant today. He is our culture, at the moment there are many people who try to rid us of all that is important to being English. One of the reasons that I have stopped paying for the BBC TV licence.
I'm amazed
Hope the cold is gone
Question which one this is the simple clear clean ND sounds sweet to the pple
WOW
Do you run any classes or mentoring?
I’m a beginner of writing my own poetry, thanks to my auntie Paula, may she b.I.p I’m working on my first poetry right now, I’m not rushing it I’m taking my time hopefully I will be done with my first poetry by 1/5/20222, wish me luck
My first poem
You say I shine
but thats your bright light im reflecting
You say Im strong
But thats your dominance im presenting.
You say you love me
And I say i love you to
I absorb your love as energy
And it keeps me going through
You love me and i love you more
Without you i would have no core
And id simply be nothing at all
Gorgeous!?!!!!
I wish my first poem looked like this.. God!! you're so talented..
I showed this to one of my co-workers.. he wasn't convinced that it was somebody's *first* poem..
Wow..! I'd love to read more of your work.
I would like a video about sentence structure...
Noted 😉🤔
nice
What about ‘She shat on my heart when she said her final goodbye! - an even better example of illiterate😬
I adore the open invite to relish your eccentric core
Encouraging I thieve your wisdom ignites this passion more
Spirit removing my veil by surprise unbeknownst to poems inside
Fearless illuminated lioness unchartered territory I refuse to hide
My first of poems written this month thrilled without denial not even once
Beckoning the wise retort you have this poetry leading my souls ascendance
The silence was like a needle
That pierced my soul
Strength and valor turn feeble
The young turn old
For nothing last forever
Not even the lonliness of the night
The seasons come and go
darkness always turn to light
This is amazing!!
"Let's take a look at Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 which is my favourite sonnet of all time..." - and that's when I subscribed. ;)
First (short) poem!!:
This beauty I have forgone,
inflates my failure
This defeat has only sparked a flame
that an autumn storm cannot douse
I will free myself from gloomy thoughts
And rid my soul of burden
albeit with an empty heart..
my 1st poem in my life..wanna share with you although it is horrible...could nt finish it..
I am a master,
You are a pastor.
one needs ice cream,
other needs shaving cream.
Turn your head on,
will i burn your head son?
It seems pretty awful
I find very fanciful.
Thanks for sharing, I hope you get to finish it!
@@AdamGaryPoetry but i got strucked in between
Thank you for sharing you poem! I've actually just launched a new poetry platform where you can share your work, gain supporting feedback, and discuss all things poetry! I would love to see you over there!
www.thepoetrycove.com
Poetry hasn’t captured me because it too often seems very light. I want to read poetry that is fiery, lands with heavy impact, or is brutal. I’d like to write that way. Where can I go to read poetry like that?
Hey Eric! I know exactly what you mean! My tastes are veering in that direction as well! You should check out www.thepoetrycove.com and take a read of the poems there! I think you’ll like what you find! 😉
It's crazy how much you rhyme when explaining...or am I just hearing things?
I just started writing a poem do tell me if it’s bad or good it’s not finished yet. it’s about reading a book
I don’t like the world I live in
So I escape it
I open Pandora’s box
To which I am …
The pain he possesses: its about time he confesses,
He loved you more then… the world could manifest it.
He broke himself down, It took him some time;
to realise this night was his last to say bye.
sorry for the mess, you realise hes done - so does everyone’
But He will smile once more as he knows thats what she adores, the boy she once saw standing there at her door.
He feels his souls gone this world is so raw, he wasnt made for it now but maybe once more,
pray for higher power..to guide what for? a brighter day before… he leaves for sure…
Its a matter of time, dont ask why’ hes not looking for help he did this to himself.
First poem probably makes no sense to anyone else but lmk if it does 💔
The step one looks this difficult what should I do? I don't have time I have to submit it till 5pm today only, and after you get a theme it becomes more difficult I can take the pressure off!!!😢😢😢😢😢
.my first poem :
I want u to look at me everytime I call you
Cuz u are the one who made my life new
I can't think of a better way
Instead being with you everyday
There is no other place
Just a glimpse of your face
This world Is so small
U are my everything my all
I have u sunshine
when it rain
U gave me laughter
When I was in pain
U love riding in stars
But I want to be with you underneath the stars
U love me I know
but when I am with you I want this time to be slow
This world is so small
U are my everything my all
Pls guys give me your opinions it was my first poem
U can refer this to anyone😁
Can I write fictional type poetry?? I mean a story of lovers that I imagined in my head and then write it down as poetry!? Pls REPLY, thanks
(Because many people say that poetry are from poet's feelings or thoughts)
Bruh that is a thought u came up with that story in your head which is a thought
Ofc
😍 you're so adorable 😊😊 amazing and genius 🙌🙇💗
Wow! High praise indeed. Thank you so much! 🌹
Really great video to watch and informative, you're an amazing teacher and you can see how the passion burns in you 🙏💗🙇
@@AnthieaHera wow you're so sweet! Thank you! 🌹
ADAM! SWEET PEA I JUST DISCOVERED YOU!! Is there anyway I could possibly have you read some of my work?? I would wholly appreciate it! My request is due to my feeling spirit has me leaning towards! All of my poetry does rhyme; however, it's strange ... I sometimes feel our language is barron in descriptive verbiage. Finding words to portray the depths of my abyss ... what collection of alphabet letters sounded with air upon the lips, can possibly echo feelings never before spoken?? All love and light to you and all reading!!!
3:30 Ethan Becker, is that you?
You sound exactly like the goth guy out of IT crowd. Portrayed by noel fielding lol.
Other than in comic books by Marvel Studios you are the man who is alive in real to be called as Dr. Strange in literature. Truthfully you are 😂
Can I ask a question about a poem’s sentence structure?
Thank you for sharing you poem! I've actually just launched a new poetry platform where you can share your work, gain supporting feedback, learn new techniques and discuss all things poetry! I would love to see you over there!
www.thepoetrycove.com
Ok then
This is a poem I have recently wrote called
Don’t let it.
Don’t let the darkness keep you down.
Don’t let the darkness fool you.
The darkness knows all of the right things to say .
To keep your mind a stray.
It lies
It cheats
Until you it defeats.
It has no mercy it has no code.
It wants you to believe that you are all alone.
That you can’t seek help.
That no one would listen.
It wants you to believe that you are not worth missing.
You are worth it.
Nobody is perfect.
Let the light help you escape the mental prison that you are in.
Let the light guide you away from the greatest of all sins.
Let it fight away all of the demons in your head.
Please let it help you before you end up dead.
Is it okay that I write this way? I can never seem to write on happiness.
This is amazing. Keep it up👍 I love it, I bet other will too.
@@gwenithdamon5171 thank you so much I really appreciate it.
U good
That was so nice
@@poornachandrika7614 thank you 🙏
I don't know if anyone told you this but you look like Alan Rickman from the 80s. You kinda sound like him too.
😚
10:33 bro hit the dab pen, jk jk. But honestly you were a BIG help.
a lead is continuall, if it can stay a
lead through the change of laws
and justices, according to world/
global growth, we find the most
outstreached, uprite, straight,
path.
I thought I was falling for you
And that wink(17:27) was my fiinal cue.
Strut at the pace time is moving
Stepping to that song
But then enters something cloven
Depths he dances on
Clutch to me this creature fallen
Let me into hell
Tell me is this my true calling
Breath speaks of a tell
Yelling I can’t see his logic
Death rings it’s null bell
Please now demons stop this haunting
Vault of all who fell
Death dealt by such macabre things
Halt under my spell
Breathless calls unto my coffin
False light of jewels
Only to him my response is
Fallen to his rule
Golden flames that keep me blinded
Laws of the cruel
Goofy poem bout goin ta hayell
Also gosh why are all of these in the comments so romance driven
Also I did like a haiku thing with the 5 7 5 syllable pattern, and just basically wrote five lines instead of three and then did four of those like an extended haiku. I was inspired by haikus and old timey lyricism since I’ve been living with my grandma. Also the rhyme for first and last words of each sentence is AB CD AB CD AB CE FB CE FB CE FB GE FB GE FB GH IB GH IB GH. Next I’ll try to use as much center rhymes as possible to see how much rhyminess I can cram in there. Any comments or advice? I’d really enjoy constructive criticism.
Initially i thought it was the actor of naughty America.
superb |
thank you! 🙏
When I'll be
When I'll be 6ft with a plaque of concrete above me
Maybe I'll be free
Maybe I'll be something better
I'll be worth more to the planet then I am to this life I lead.
When I'll be nothing but meat for the worms, nutrients for the soil and I no longer bleed.
I'll be worth more to everyone who was once around me.
Surely then they'll say they need me…
Till then I'll be empty
Till then I'll be nothing
Till one day I'll be something
Opinions??
LOST SOULZ
Some say nothing gold can last forever
And 2 believe this eye need no proof
I have witnessed all that was pure in me
Be changed by the evil that men can do
The innocence possessed by children
Once lived inside my soul
But surviving years with criminal peers
Has turned my warm heart to cold
I used 2 dream and fantasise
But now I’m scared to sleep
Petrified , not to live or die
But to awaken and still be me
It is true that nothing gold can last
We will all one day see death
When the purest hearts are torn apart
Lost Soulz are all that’s left
Down on my knees I beg of god
To save me from this fate
Let me live to see what was gold
Before it’s all too late.
I look to the glimmering moon , I look to the stars.
I look to beating, fleating heart, it is ours.
I pounder what I see, I pounder whom to hold.
I told you, I love you, yet I was frozen cold.
Watch me free fall, watch me fly.
Oh my beautiful silly butterfly.
Kiss me, love me, trust me.
Our love forever to be.
@3:20..... doby is that yiu??? Hahahaha
when a stone is flung up into the
air, what manner of nature makes
it land on your head
the mind controlls the body, with
cigaretts and alcohol, we write
in the ether part of the brain,
recording breaths and water to
solid (bodies)