My Mom Wants Me To Quit My Job To Take Care Of Her!
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- čas přidán 26. 08. 2023
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I had this issue when my father was at the end of his life. I was driving 3 hours away every weekend and vacation days to spend time with him. He was a retired doctor and had enough money to have 24 hour care which was great because he and I could spend quality time. At one point, he told me he wanted me to quit my job and come home. I had a good paying job and was working toward getting retirement benefits. So I told him that he raised us to be self-sufficient and if I quit my job (I was in my 50's) what was I going to do after he passed. I told him I'd be sitting on my suitcases in the middle of his driveway having to start my life over. So I told him "that is not a great idea". I appreciated the fact he wanted me to come home, but it just wasn't feasible when I thought about my retirement plans.
You are very smart.
you made the right decision. im sure your dad had plenty ot money to pay for home health aides
Was there not a huge inheritance waiting for you? No job needed if he was wealthy and left a million or more to you which is my plans.
@@livingunashamed4869 Life is expensive and a million dollars doesn't go as far as it used to. I didn't want to lose my independence and my father could afford 24/7 care.
you did the right thing @@9liveslisa
My Mom will be 92 and lives 2 states away. She takes care of herself in her own apartment. I visit as often as I can. My wife and I both work. That's life. If my Mom wanted to move by us, we would help. But she doesn't want to. She likes her place and she's doing fine.
I look forward to being that mom. 😊 My mother in law recently moved with her sisters, mom recognized that it was too much to live alone even with twice-weekly visits from family to help.
My last Grandma just passed at 95.5!!!!! She was spry and sharp as a tack until about a year before she passed!!!!! Good for her!!!!!!! She wanted to stay in her home: my Mom and I are both nurses and my sister is a CNA.......
One of my extended relatives quit her job to take care of her parents. Their parents have enough money for caregivers but they did not want to spend any of it. All in all, she ended up not having enough for retirement and her parents are not leaving anything to her.
Yeah my mom wanted me to give up my life/job etc. and move from NJ to TN to take care of here when I was in my early 20s (oh and she expected me to get a new job out there at the drop of the hat and pay 100% of everything). She was able bodied but her excuse was, "I am 50 years old. You have to care of me!"
Oh, that's horrible! How could they use her like that and not even leave their money to her? Poor woman. Sounds like she'll have to work until she's 80. :(
What did they do with the money since they didn't leave it to her?
@derekd1510 the parents are still alive and now she has to go back to work at 69. They are leaving the money to charity and the men with grandkids in the family. I am lucky that I am very distant from that extended family and that I don't hear that drama
@deborahblackvideoediting8697 that is what that is looking like unfortunately 😕
I have 6 grown littles. I went through hell post divorce as a former SAHM. 14 yrs later at 58, I am gainfully employed, working diligently to prepare for my retirement and prepare for the later years. I have little saved starting so late and not making a huge income, but I don't Ever want to be a burden on my children! I gave them wings to fly- that was my intention while raising them. All but 1 are doing well. I would love their company more, but they are flying independently as hoped! I would hope when I am incapacitated they will give me uplifting strength with visits and prayers, but I don't expect them to take care of me financially.
"I don't expect them to take care of me financially" that way I won't be disappointed
"Travel agent for guilt trips" still gets me more than it probably should.
Also “flight tester in a broom factory”
It stopped working on me when I put myself 1st, I see my parents as selfish to start with, they won't do for me what they are asking me to do for them to start with. So NO
@@Neddie2k Good for you!! My mom was very much like this. So much she called ME selfish for putting my needs first once I saw her using me as a kid.
That is a good one ha
That is a good one. Loved it when I first heard it. And it's not just parents who can hold that "occupation". Any family member can be guilty of it.
I watch this channel not for financial advices, but more for family dynamics advices such as discussed in this video.
Cousin Nick is in charge of the money and now they are down by $300,000! How are they not seeing the 🚩🚩🚩?
Wow cousin Nick, that's an awesome new Corvette!
Cousin Nick got a boat too@@buddykerr1
Cousin is robbing her blind.
Proof?
How do you know that?
I don’t necessarily feel like the cousin is robbing her. I feel like we have all lost money in the stock market, She just doesn’t know what she’s doing. She does need an investment Pro. She could sell that house in Florida and buy a nice one in Texas.
If the money was invested in indexed funds, which means they track the value of the markets as a whole, there is no way that she lost almost 50% of a $700,000 investment. All the major stock markets are on a 14-year Bull Run that started in the spring of 2009 and has continued until the present day. Now if they were invested in a handful of individual stocks, which is always extremely risky then there is an outside chance they did lose that much on their own. But I suspect given this woman's lack of knowledge about the investment, that the cousin is up to no good.
dam family cousins are the worst
“I want you to choose guilt over resentment every time”. Wow I’m speechless. That struck such a cord, I wish someone told me that before. Very very wise words.
I took care of my grandmother for about 4 years until she passed away the other members of the family really didn't care but when she passed they all had their hands outoout
@rogerhoward1900 - What I'd like to see put in their hands they wouldn't like.
“Mom, I’m moving to Texas. You’re welcome to move there, too. But wherever you decide to live, your money needs to be managed better to pay for someone to care for you.” Period.
Sounds like cousin Nick stole about $350K so far.
😂❤ well I hate to say it but I know it would change the dynamic but I think you could tell your mom hey why don't you come wherever you think it's in her best interest to go and and you can if you feel like you wanted with you just say you're taking her on a trip of vacation to see you and just kind of you know sweetly kind of manipulated into like you know what's in her best interest I mean if she's not in the position perhaps to want to take the full responsibility for the change you can just make him into a vacation and if she seems to like it okay if you can work it being a long long vacation with you into being living there but I think you could do it I really do I think you know it doesn't have to be a long hard decision it can just be kind of like you doing it but her kind of you know kind of enjoying it in the process you know what I mean😊🎉❤
@@stephanieharries7746That looks nice, however, there is still the issue of mom regaining control of whatever is left of her $400,000. The family might not make that easy. There may be battles ahead.
Love how the members of the extended family want the caller to do the moving.
Respond: "If you aren't willing to do it, why should I be willing to go broke?"
@@fhuber7507 Will the extended family be paying the moving costs? Why do I think not?
My "Princess Mom" chose to change her POA to my brother's ex-wife's mother. They have made every attempt to shut Mom's biological children out of her life. I moved to a small town with my husband. It was the best move we could ever have made. When Mom threatens (frequently) to "change the will" I just tell her to do whatever she thinks is best. The Lord is my provider, not her will.
I took care of my dying father from 18-22; he too had lung cancer. I wouldn’t trade stopping my life for him BUT he never guilted me into or made me drop my life. He was my best friend, the best company, & I knew I wouldn’t have him long. This is a hard thing, but I agree her mom should go with her.
Adding, I am the person that will never be guilted into anything, I was known as selfish to my narc mom. I will always say no proud & firm, but taking care of my dad was my honor. Not everyone feels the same.
18-22, that’s not starting your professional career yet. Good job on taking care of your father.
This is good advice. Older parents are like this unfortunately. I’ve heard many friends get the guilt laid on them or written off totally bc they won’t do things like this lady has been asked to do!
Elderly parents that had no retirmenet plan are a pain in the butt. I used to beg my Mom to put money away when she was younger, she would tell me "I'll worry about it when it happens". That meant all the kids must take care of it, sorry I moved away and it broke the family apart!
As an Adult Only Child, my heart goes out to her. The guilt put on us can be insane, when it comes to parents.
Blessings to Max.
They will also hang this inheritance over your head, if you don't do what that say. We received inheritance, and trust me with everything we had to go through; it's just not worth it. This has caused me many anxiety attacks, and other health problems.
I will not be quitting my job to take care of them. That's what a care home is for.
I began my investment journey at the age of 33, primarily through hard work and dedication. I am to share that my passive income exceeded $100k in a single month for the first time. This success reinforces the importance of the advice mentioned earlier. It is not about achieving quick wealth, but rather ensuring long-term financial prosperity..
Investors should exercise caution with their exposure and exercise caution when considering new investments, particularly during periods of inflation. It is advisable to seek guidance from a professional or trusted advisor in order to navigate this recession and achieve potential high yields.
This is superb! Information, as a noob it gets quite to handle all of this and staying informed is a major cause, how do you go about this are you a pro investor?
Through closely monitoring the performance of my portfolio, I have witnessed a remarkable growth of $500k in just the past two quarters. This experience has shed light on why experienced traders are able to generate substantial returns even in lesser-known markets. It is safe to say that this bold decision has been one of the most impactful choices I have made recently.
wow that’s stirring! Do you mind connecting me to your advisor please. I desperately need one to diversified my portfolio.
Do you mind sharing info on the adviser who assisted you? I’m 40 now and would love to grow my stock portfolio and plan my retirement.
I'm grateful for these call's because I know I'm not alone! Family can be toxic as hell!
My mom goes through the same thing. When my grandfather was going through cancer my mom moved 2 hours away to be with them , when he died my mom moved back home and took my grandmother with her . My grandmother has long been asking my mom to quit her job to move back to her house and take care of her full time . The stress of all that has been really hard on my mom as she tries to do Everything for her while working. And to make it worse my brother is constantly asking her to watch his toddler almost weekly
Your poor mom. It sounds like everyone is using her (except you). :(
Please look after your mum, hope you can afford to take her out for dinner, show her some appreciation.
Tell her NO is a complete sentence. My sister and I have to do that daily
@@Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuriesAgreed!
“Choose guilt over resentment”
That hits hard. I’ve hit resentment before and that’s a slippery slope that is difficult to recover from.
The audacity of some parents to expect their kids to live their lives caring for them.
There are many cultures that embrace taking care of their elders. I hope the mom chooses to move to Texas.
@@abrareadsin those culture, the elders embrace the idea of their children taking care of them. The children aren’t excited about it, they are just raised to expect doing it.
@@TonyCox1351
Yeah I know a few families in several countries in Asia and South America since the 90s since before their kids were born.
Yup they aren't excited at all about it and just expected to do it. Many still have to leave home though for their career.
@@TonyCox1351 That's what I was wondering about these cultures where you take care of the elders. I wonder if the adult children grow to resent it. I'm not saying stick the parent in a nursing home and never go see them. If they can live in their own home and afford caregivers, they shouldn't expect their kids to put their lives on hold to take care of them. Makes me wonder if these parents who expect to be taken care of took care of THEIR OWN parents.
In those countries there aren't retirement safety nets. Those people are poor, and they have no choice other than to take care of their relatives for the most part.
@@CarlaQuattlebaum
I asked my mom who’s 60 what she plans to do for retirement since she has nothing to her name, she said die. I’m in my late 30’s and was thinking about retirement savings since I got my first job. I have almost $200k in my 401k. Financial literacy and self motivation is what propels you. Im choosing not to get married and have kids so I’ll need money to be as self sufficient for as long as I can.
What if she asks you for assistance? Won't you feel guilty given your stability that you should help her a little or alot 😢
Shout out to us, im also in my late 30s with almost 200K saved for retirement. I would never be a burden on my children. If I outlive my retirement funds I’ll probably just off myself… will have been a good long life at that point time to exit on a high note 😂
@@chanson8508 Like John said, it's better to choose guilt over resentment. Why should she have to let her immature mom that has no plans to take care of herself take the money she worked for. It's one thing to help an elderly parent once they get older. But their money should be taking care of them, not their kid's money.
67 year old caring for an 89 year old. What I've learned is that I will never do this to my children. Drugs, guns, trains, whaterver it take to not burden them this way. And they should absolutely not feel guilty.@@chanson8508
I'm 63, and can't even imagine choosing to be dependent on a child. Sixty isn't even old, and your mom has at least 10 years to invest. I'd be living in a camper van (Cherokee Wolf Pups are pretty cheap) in someone's driveway and socking away my money (it helps that I think campers are pretty cute). If she put aside 20 000 a year, she could buy a 120 000 annuity in 10 years. That would be about 1000 a month. If she had another 1500 in Social Security she would have 2500 a month. Not a lot but something. Has she ever thought about money in a systematic way? If you're living in America you have to think about this stuff. You don't have a choice. And you don't get to take your kids down with you because you don't want to think.
The 400k invested plus her social security should be enough to last her. She's 86 with maybe 10 yrs left give or take.
Bro at 86 just take me. I might just jump off a parking structure if I live that long. Who wants to go another 10 years being a burden at that point??
Amen. Finally a voice of reason.@@TonyCox1351
400k at 86 is great!
Oh my goodness, I so needed to hear this call today. THANK YOU, and God bless you!
I feel Max's dilemma so hard. My mom was looking after my grandmother while I was graduating high school, and asked me to not go off to college to take care of her as I had also been helping her. It was difficult as I had been working since I was 14 and had money saved up, which also went to lawyers fees as family members were suing over power of attorney. I pretty much decided at that moment I wasn't going to have kids to burden them with that. I then pulled her life support in 2012, eventually got my $$ back, but was so heartbroken over the whole process.
"Mommy Dearest" gets to ASK you to quit your job if she's going to pay you more than your job was paying....
Sounds like guardianship might be a good idea. Get her money in order and plan for her to pay for her care. Ignore the rest of the family
exactly
And conservatorship
@@Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries yep.
That mom is INCREDIBLY selfish!! Also, that "cousin" has either been dipping into that $725k or gambling with it. Either way, the math ain't mathing. Max needs to get cousin's hands off that money asap!
If it was all in bonds, it could have dropped into the $500K's, but $400K's !!?? ..something definitely amiss...
...either way, handing "cousin Nick" three-quarters of a million dollars to manage....☹
Agreed. The cousin looks like he's been helping himself to the money. That's a pretty big drop in funds. They need to get control of that money away from him asap.
@@deborahblackvideoediting8697 A full accounting of every penny ASAP
I'm currently battling with my parents 86 and 87 to move closer to me, as I am still working and not able to travel often to their house an hour away. They could downsize, and have a newer nicer place closer to me as my county is cheaper. They do expect me as the only daughter (and the only child still in the state) to be the one to take care of them. As it is, I drive down to see them once a week--and I'm not going to make that trip more often.
The advice is very good. You have to put you first.
You also have to learn and us one other word. -- No
Guilt over resentment! I like that nugget John!
Someone needs to look into withdrawals on those stocks. It shouldn't have gone down that much.
The investments lost half because of where the money is now. GET BACK CONTROL OF THE MONEY ! Put it in CD"s
I agree. We lost half our portfolio in 2008. We retired in 2010 with some of it coming back. We moved and put it into real estate. Made more back. We took it all out of the stock market and put it into CDs where we have a guaranteed 5% at the moment. We are happy to be off the roller coaster at our age.
Your cuzz is stealin' from yo mama. Fr 💯
I reckon cousin Nick is driving around in a new car. 300k in this environment is suss.
Tell her NO!! It's not your responsibility.
Honestly, what kind of selfish POS asks somebody to quit their job and work to take care of them to free, outside some exceptional assets. If they already have money or don’t need money then it’s different, but if they’re a normal person who needs to work you need to let the younger generation live.
The award for the most interruptions goes to..... Dave Ramsey!
Same thing happened to me. My mom wanted me to move home and it just didn't make sense. I asked her to move into me, she refused, It still hurts.
This sounds so familiar but this is more of a boundary problem than money problem.
The family does NOT get a vote. She needs to fire the cousin, ‘cuz he did a horrible job managing those funds (he lost almost half of that money). It’s not the family’s life, and the mom has got to stop laying down the guilt trips.
I was transferred into their account. Thats where the money went.
@@sariah2425 of course it was; and it’s been spent long time ago. There ain’t getting that money from that dear, sweet cousin.
When she said Nick my mind went right to the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. From then on the whole call seemed like a it had been taken directly from the movie script.
Thank you for sharing this. My Mom is 80 and has a paid off home worth a lot of money and no physical health issues and wants me and my husband to move from Tennessee to another state while we're trying to work and I pay out of pocket for a spine specialist and also refuses to move and guilt trips me too.
Im not from america but dont you have elderly care by government?
I live in sweden and we have the state that take care of elderly people when they get sick and everyone get a low but liveable pension even if you havent worked its noy much money but for someone that havent saved anything by themself its decent.
Pretty selfish Mom....
You haven't lost money on stocks, until you sell "down"... Someone has been panick selling...
Your stock still has a value. So the value went from 700K to 400K. She can hold it forever hoping it goes up but that doesn’t help pay the bills
This lady is a grown child.
Saw the thumbnail with Daves face and "SHE DOESNT GET A VOTE!", and i instantly thought comon Dave, youre not that old.
That investment thing is very suspicious.
Cousin making bank off his uncle and aunt
@vjs4539 - Cousin should find himself sleeping with the fishes . . .
I agree, move where you want to be and offer her to go with you. It’s her decision and no one should blame you for it.
Sell the stocks and house. They'll have no less than 350k after taxes. Live it up on monthly dividends that will grow like a beanstalk.
Sounds like Nick took $300,000🤔
Slick Nick, got a new Caddy
My dad is 70 so I stay close just in case he needs me.
I think it's fear of change. Easier to get everyone around you to make the changes. Ultimately, it's selfish and treating you as a child.
These parents lived their lives and don't want their kids to live their own lives. The one that gets me the most is the guilt-tripping.
@Neddie2k - I said it in another comment - did these parents take care of THEIR parents? If not, why are they expecting their kids to care for THEM?
The cousin needs to be removed from the financial equation. He was in charge of the finances that went from 700k to 400k. He is stealing or incompetent.
John line that he drops every day "choose guilt over resentment every single time" is really stupid. You choose to be resentful and you can choose to not be resentful. And if you feel guilty, it's probably your intuition telling you that maybe you should adjust your course.
I would be so for that if my mom gave me a $3k monthly stipend and living quarters to do it. lol
Here Reno/Sparks NV Church, I believed you have visited us years ago, I would love your direction on how to invest.
I have been threw FPU, not sure it was taught correctly. . . Currently taking the stacked Cd road out of safety but not sure it’s the best bang for my buck, would love to share but not via CZcams. Can you help/guide me. Peace & Grace threw our Savior JC.
I'm sure Nick will understand 😂
What if all of u moved to texas?
Nick has the dough. The stock market didnt do that bad. These people may not be playing with a full deck.
Dave wanted to say so badly “he wasn’t good at the stock market if he lost all of the investment”
She can hirer aid who can live with her don’t feel bad do what you want it your time
I hired one @25hr. Not that bad
I would rather be homeless than depend on my kids in my old age.
cousin is taking the money and running with it
✝️🙏
Better get that money away from the cousin before it's gone.
@Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries - Might have to lean on that cousin a bit to convince him.
Ole' Slick Nick better have all the receipts for that expenditure. Remember "Dumb and Dumber?" He had that briefcase full of receipts? But all the money was gone? That is Nick.
Helllll NO
If I have $8,500 in debt and $9,000 in bank. Should i pay it off now OR take that money and invest and continue $250 a month payments? Minimum payment is $93 i bring home $4,500 a month in michigan
Keep $1K in the bank and pay $8,000 on the debt, then pay off the remaining $500 ASAP. You need to keep that $1k in emergency savings to keep from using credit again.
Why are you even asking this question here? If you indeed aren't a spammer and genuinely asking...you would already know Dave's advice would be to retain $1000 for Emergencies and apply the rest toward paying off debt.
But you have to follow the baby steps and become Gazelle Intense in not only paying off debt... but to also Make sure you Never take on debt again- by following a written budget where you see where every dollar goes.
pay 1000.00 a month from your 4500.00 a month salary until you pay it off in 4.5 months. Then start investing. Paying off debt is an investment plan when you owe.
Bet it all on black.
@@kagnewcobra5228 Take even, let that ball roll.
wow. Max feels guilty about wanting to go to Texas to be with her kids... yet her own Mother won't give a little and go to Texas instead of Florida? Sell that house in Florida! Go to Texas!! Florida is a mess, I know I live here.
Texas is a mess and I live here. Why is Florida a mess?
Agreed. Move to Texas. Your whole family is there. Mom is in Florida by herself. She's the one being selfish. She has to change, not you.
@@AC-qo8oq I think she’s thinking politically, and I’m in Florida and I have to agree but Texas isn’t much better 😜
@@AC-qo8oq Crazy expensive and lots of people moving here.
Move to Texas! Texas is awesome, the absolute best place in the world to live. God's country.
As someone who grew up in Florida and moved to Texas I couldn't agree more. If you want children who'll grow up to be decent adults live in Texas. If you want children surrounded by nonsense, live in Florida. Florida is just for vacations and retirement.
--A native Floridian who loves living in Texas
There is zero chance the best place in the world to live is the USA. Too many stupid people.
Sounds like someone's been swindled out of $350k
Anyone else notice Delony being twitchy and blinking a lot?
Like a cat, ready to pounce
Anxiety ticks.
She needs an attorney to get the money from the cousin. Immediately
That money is long gone. SMH
Counsel mom to get the money out of the cousin's control and into trusted money managers/investments. If mom does not want to do that, say goodbye to her cash (inheritance) and let her decide what she wants to do with her life. Grandma's are precious to grandchildren--plan that move to Texas today, ha ha. The family will be resentful and guilt hurling, so be it. Send nice greeting cards for birthdays and holidays. 😂😂
Nick moved the money to Bitcoin, guaranteed.
seems Ramsey pretty cold blood, i guess thats how his parents raised him. rice and bean and only rice and bean. No extra love for him. I would think everything i can do in that case to take care of my mom if she is 86 and wants to live in California with me. I am the only child, and my mom works so hard to give me all the best until i graduate form master degree. I am lucky and does not have to take out any loan during student life. i would move to her in her last 10 years of life and taking care of her by myself.
She’s taking care of you past her obligation and you are paying it back. That’s fair.
yeah the math from 725k to 400k in the past 2-3 years doesn’t make any sense unless you’re heavily invested in bonds or crypto.
The Stock Market crash she's talking about it's called 'Nick'...
Nick is at best incompetent, and at worst....well...😬
That's a lot to lose over a few strong market years.
They have just started taking care of it. And stocks go up and down all the time.
@@jimmymcgill6778they lost 50% in under a year, in a year where the market hasn't really fallen
@@jimmymcgill6778individual stocks go up and down all the time but that late in the game it should be mostly in bonds or even if it was an index fund it wouldn’t be down that much
John's being a bit dramatic here though. Maybe mom's dream is to live out her days in Florida, she doesn't have to feel obligated to go to Texas to family. Not everyone chooses to be so close to family for one reason or another. But as they said, she's a grown woman who can make her own decisions, if she is indeed mentally there.
That cousin been investing in a pool with his own money and everything that goes up is his and everything that goes down is grandauntie's. Worst decision ever!
How are we supposed to believe our family member want us to live life to the fullest after they die, when they guilt trip and make us responsible for their end of life care? The two don’t correlate to me
So your life is only filled with things that please you?
Make you happy?
Carefree?
In times other than the one we live in you would be labeled a Hedonist.
I think it’s time we started using that label again.
The broad market in the U.S. is pretty much exactly where it was 24 months ago, and exactly where it was 18 months ago. It is about 15% up on where it was 12 months ago, including reinvested dividends. The caller says her $725,000 investment is down 45% to only $400,000 over some unclear time frame which could be 18 months. It is possible that the father had a 401(k) with undiversified company stock and just left it all in one stock (e.g., Tyson foods TSN, or ACCO brands ACCO), both of which are down).
The caller needs to jump into action right now and ask _where_ _is_ _the_ _money_ _invested?_
She needs to get help from someone who actually knows what is going on with this investment and with the markets.
If it is in diversified U.S. stocks and $325,000 is gone then cousin Nick may have his hand in the cookie jar.
Want to messed up situation. Cousin Nick ripping off the mom. The mom trying to control over adult daughter lives.
Meanwhile John awkwardly waits for his turn to get his point in and finally got there.
First lol never done this before 😂
Is Cousin Nick gambling away at 'day trading'?
No one is talking about how that cousin is definitely taking money out of the investment he is managing. No one loses 300,000 without taking money out.
Don't forget to make her pay rent and contribute to the household, you can''t let her mooch off of you.
Her cousin is taking care of it rhe investments because he's male. She's probably Hispanic based on her accent and details and this is common. Women do the caregiving but do not get power of attorney or to manage financial affairs.
Her mother is not beyond the moon and more than likely disappointed there's even the smallest resistance from her daughter. In mom's mind Max is doing the bare minimum. They really need cultural consultants on this show.
I feel for Max and hope she gets some counseling to break this cycle.
She should move to FL.
@alex182618 - Away from the coast!
That's an awfully big loss and the market wasn't so bad it didn't recover. Nick is either completely incompetent or they need to dig into the history of the account...looking for withdrawals or transfers...just saying.
That cousin has embezzled $100000s of money, get it under control asap! Your mom sounds selfish and manipulative and WILL threaten you with disinheritance, it’s just the way she is.
This is the same lady who will be calling back in a month or two and saying “Dave, my mom gave her investment money to my cousin and he says it was a lost in a stock market crash. What do I do?”