My Mom Wants Me To Quit My Job To Take Care Of Her!

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  • čas přidán 26. 08. 2023
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Komentáře • 254

  • @9liveslisa
    @9liveslisa Před 11 měsíci +141

    I had this issue when my father was at the end of his life. I was driving 3 hours away every weekend and vacation days to spend time with him. He was a retired doctor and had enough money to have 24 hour care which was great because he and I could spend quality time. At one point, he told me he wanted me to quit my job and come home. I had a good paying job and was working toward getting retirement benefits. So I told him that he raised us to be self-sufficient and if I quit my job (I was in my 50's) what was I going to do after he passed. I told him I'd be sitting on my suitcases in the middle of his driveway having to start my life over. So I told him "that is not a great idea". I appreciated the fact he wanted me to come home, but it just wasn't feasible when I thought about my retirement plans.

    • @tammi67able
      @tammi67able Před 11 měsíci +17

      You are very smart.

    • @cutehumor
      @cutehumor Před 11 měsíci +6

      you made the right decision. im sure your dad had plenty ot money to pay for home health aides

    • @livingunashamed4869
      @livingunashamed4869 Před 11 měsíci +1

      Was there not a huge inheritance waiting for you? No job needed if he was wealthy and left a million or more to you which is my plans.

    • @9liveslisa
      @9liveslisa Před 11 měsíci +15

      @@livingunashamed4869 Life is expensive and a million dollars doesn't go as far as it used to. I didn't want to lose my independence and my father could afford 24/7 care.

    • @jenniferannfox2316
      @jenniferannfox2316 Před 11 měsíci

      you did the right thing @@9liveslisa

  • @jimroscovius
    @jimroscovius Před 11 měsíci +55

    My Mom will be 92 and lives 2 states away. She takes care of herself in her own apartment. I visit as often as I can. My wife and I both work. That's life. If my Mom wanted to move by us, we would help. But she doesn't want to. She likes her place and she's doing fine.

    • @user-mv9tt4st9k
      @user-mv9tt4st9k Před 11 měsíci +2

      I look forward to being that mom. 😊 My mother in law recently moved with her sisters, mom recognized that it was too much to live alone even with twice-weekly visits from family to help.

    • @shannonobrien9922
      @shannonobrien9922 Před 29 dny

      My last Grandma just passed at 95.5!!!!! She was spry and sharp as a tack until about a year before she passed!!!!! Good for her!!!!!!! She wanted to stay in her home: my Mom and I are both nurses and my sister is a CNA.......

  • @natashac.2038
    @natashac.2038 Před 11 měsíci +121

    One of my extended relatives quit her job to take care of her parents. Their parents have enough money for caregivers but they did not want to spend any of it. All in all, she ended up not having enough for retirement and her parents are not leaving anything to her.

    • @littlesongbird1
      @littlesongbird1 Před 11 měsíci +17

      Yeah my mom wanted me to give up my life/job etc. and move from NJ to TN to take care of here when I was in my early 20s (oh and she expected me to get a new job out there at the drop of the hat and pay 100% of everything). She was able bodied but her excuse was, "I am 50 years old. You have to care of me!"

    • @deborahblackvideoediting8697
      @deborahblackvideoediting8697 Před 11 měsíci +18

      Oh, that's horrible! How could they use her like that and not even leave their money to her? Poor woman. Sounds like she'll have to work until she's 80. :(

    • @derekd1510
      @derekd1510 Před 11 měsíci +7

      What did they do with the money since they didn't leave it to her?

    • @natashac.2038
      @natashac.2038 Před 11 měsíci +11

      @derekd1510 the parents are still alive and now she has to go back to work at 69. They are leaving the money to charity and the men with grandkids in the family. I am lucky that I am very distant from that extended family and that I don't hear that drama

    • @natashac.2038
      @natashac.2038 Před 11 měsíci +3

      @deborahblackvideoediting8697 that is what that is looking like unfortunately 😕

  • @truthseeker6370
    @truthseeker6370 Před 11 měsíci +41

    I have 6 grown littles. I went through hell post divorce as a former SAHM. 14 yrs later at 58, I am gainfully employed, working diligently to prepare for my retirement and prepare for the later years. I have little saved starting so late and not making a huge income, but I don't Ever want to be a burden on my children! I gave them wings to fly- that was my intention while raising them. All but 1 are doing well. I would love their company more, but they are flying independently as hoped! I would hope when I am incapacitated they will give me uplifting strength with visits and prayers, but I don't expect them to take care of me financially.

    • @kagnewcobra5228
      @kagnewcobra5228 Před 11 měsíci +1

      "I don't expect them to take care of me financially" that way I won't be disappointed

  • @jh26pt2
    @jh26pt2 Před 11 měsíci +113

    "Travel agent for guilt trips" still gets me more than it probably should.

    • @OopThereItIs77777
      @OopThereItIs77777 Před 11 měsíci +11

      Also “flight tester in a broom factory”

    • @Neddie2k
      @Neddie2k Před 11 měsíci +1

      It stopped working on me when I put myself 1st, I see my parents as selfish to start with, they won't do for me what they are asking me to do for them to start with. So NO

    • @OopThereItIs77777
      @OopThereItIs77777 Před 11 měsíci +2

      @@Neddie2k Good for you!! My mom was very much like this. So much she called ME selfish for putting my needs first once I saw her using me as a kid.

    • @paulhathaway5907
      @paulhathaway5907 Před 11 měsíci

      That is a good one ha

    • @CarlaQuattlebaum
      @CarlaQuattlebaum Před 11 měsíci +1

      That is a good one. Loved it when I first heard it. And it's not just parents who can hold that "occupation". Any family member can be guilty of it.

  • @vijayapragas
    @vijayapragas Před 11 měsíci +18

    I watch this channel not for financial advices, but more for family dynamics advices such as discussed in this video.

  • @tenacioustande
    @tenacioustande Před 11 měsíci +48

    Cousin Nick is in charge of the money and now they are down by $300,000! How are they not seeing the 🚩🚩🚩?

    • @buddykerr1
      @buddykerr1 Před 11 měsíci +7

      Wow cousin Nick, that's an awesome new Corvette!

    • @Darkpara1
      @Darkpara1 Před 10 měsíci

      Cousin Nick got a boat too@@buddykerr1

  • @michaelvan6675
    @michaelvan6675 Před 11 měsíci +109

    Cousin is robbing her blind.

    • @jimmymcgill6778
      @jimmymcgill6778 Před 11 měsíci +1

      Proof?

    • @sblijheid
      @sblijheid Před 11 měsíci

      How do you know that?

    • @eclipse.5295
      @eclipse.5295 Před 11 měsíci +2

      I don’t necessarily feel like the cousin is robbing her. I feel like we have all lost money in the stock market, She just doesn’t know what she’s doing. She does need an investment Pro. She could sell that house in Florida and buy a nice one in Texas.

    • @FortuneSeek3rz
      @FortuneSeek3rz Před 11 měsíci +4

      If the money was invested in indexed funds, which means they track the value of the markets as a whole, there is no way that she lost almost 50% of a $700,000 investment. All the major stock markets are on a 14-year Bull Run that started in the spring of 2009 and has continued until the present day. Now if they were invested in a handful of individual stocks, which is always extremely risky then there is an outside chance they did lose that much on their own. But I suspect given this woman's lack of knowledge about the investment, that the cousin is up to no good.

    • @angel-ij4xv
      @angel-ij4xv Před 11 měsíci

      dam family cousins are the worst

  • @Joyjoyjoy4
    @Joyjoyjoy4 Před 11 měsíci +7

    “I want you to choose guilt over resentment every time”. Wow I’m speechless. That struck such a cord, I wish someone told me that before. Very very wise words.

  • @rogerhoward1900
    @rogerhoward1900 Před 11 měsíci +18

    I took care of my grandmother for about 4 years until she passed away the other members of the family really didn't care but when she passed they all had their hands outoout

    • @CarlaQuattlebaum
      @CarlaQuattlebaum Před 11 měsíci +1

      @rogerhoward1900 - What I'd like to see put in their hands they wouldn't like.

  • @javaskull88
    @javaskull88 Před 11 měsíci +60

    “Mom, I’m moving to Texas. You’re welcome to move there, too. But wherever you decide to live, your money needs to be managed better to pay for someone to care for you.” Period.

    • @derekd1510
      @derekd1510 Před 11 měsíci +6

      Sounds like cousin Nick stole about $350K so far.

    • @stephanieharries7746
      @stephanieharries7746 Před 11 měsíci

      😂❤ well I hate to say it but I know it would change the dynamic but I think you could tell your mom hey why don't you come wherever you think it's in her best interest to go and and you can if you feel like you wanted with you just say you're taking her on a trip of vacation to see you and just kind of you know sweetly kind of manipulated into like you know what's in her best interest I mean if she's not in the position perhaps to want to take the full responsibility for the change you can just make him into a vacation and if she seems to like it okay if you can work it being a long long vacation with you into being living there but I think you could do it I really do I think you know it doesn't have to be a long hard decision it can just be kind of like you doing it but her kind of you know kind of enjoying it in the process you know what I mean😊🎉❤

    • @user-mv9tt4st9k
      @user-mv9tt4st9k Před 11 měsíci

      ​@@stephanieharries7746That looks nice, however, there is still the issue of mom regaining control of whatever is left of her $400,000. The family might not make that easy. There may be battles ahead.

  • @Vydio
    @Vydio Před 11 měsíci +41

    Love how the members of the extended family want the caller to do the moving.

    • @fhuber7507
      @fhuber7507 Před 11 měsíci +2

      Respond: "If you aren't willing to do it, why should I be willing to go broke?"

    • @Vydio
      @Vydio Před 11 měsíci +1

      @@fhuber7507 Will the extended family be paying the moving costs? Why do I think not?

  • @charleensolnik6974
    @charleensolnik6974 Před měsícem +7

    My "Princess Mom" chose to change her POA to my brother's ex-wife's mother. They have made every attempt to shut Mom's biological children out of her life. I moved to a small town with my husband. It was the best move we could ever have made. When Mom threatens (frequently) to "change the will" I just tell her to do whatever she thinks is best. The Lord is my provider, not her will.

  • @OopThereItIs77777
    @OopThereItIs77777 Před 11 měsíci +10

    I took care of my dying father from 18-22; he too had lung cancer. I wouldn’t trade stopping my life for him BUT he never guilted me into or made me drop my life. He was my best friend, the best company, & I knew I wouldn’t have him long. This is a hard thing, but I agree her mom should go with her.
    Adding, I am the person that will never be guilted into anything, I was known as selfish to my narc mom. I will always say no proud & firm, but taking care of my dad was my honor. Not everyone feels the same.

    • @tinpimiento150
      @tinpimiento150 Před měsícem +3

      18-22, that’s not starting your professional career yet. Good job on taking care of your father.

  • @christiS907
    @christiS907 Před 11 měsíci +22

    This is good advice. Older parents are like this unfortunately. I’ve heard many friends get the guilt laid on them or written off totally bc they won’t do things like this lady has been asked to do!

  • @JoeyNYSDnomad
    @JoeyNYSDnomad Před měsícem +7

    Elderly parents that had no retirmenet plan are a pain in the butt. I used to beg my Mom to put money away when she was younger, she would tell me "I'll worry about it when it happens". That meant all the kids must take care of it, sorry I moved away and it broke the family apart!

  • @Sweet_Southern_Pecan
    @Sweet_Southern_Pecan Před 11 měsíci +36

    As an Adult Only Child, my heart goes out to her. The guilt put on us can be insane, when it comes to parents.
    Blessings to Max.

  • @shea1219
    @shea1219 Před 11 měsíci +6

    They will also hang this inheritance over your head, if you don't do what that say. We received inheritance, and trust me with everything we had to go through; it's just not worth it. This has caused me many anxiety attacks, and other health problems.
    I will not be quitting my job to take care of them. That's what a care home is for.

  • @KatherineAnderson-lm8bw
    @KatherineAnderson-lm8bw Před 10 měsíci +159

    I began my investment journey at the age of 33, primarily through hard work and dedication. I am to share that my passive income exceeded $100k in a single month for the first time. This success reinforces the importance of the advice mentioned earlier. It is not about achieving quick wealth, but rather ensuring long-term financial prosperity..

    • @Jessicatorres_768
      @Jessicatorres_768 Před 10 měsíci

      Investors should exercise caution with their exposure and exercise caution when considering new investments, particularly during periods of inflation. It is advisable to seek guidance from a professional or trusted advisor in order to navigate this recession and achieve potential high yields.

    • @SophiaBint-wj8wn
      @SophiaBint-wj8wn Před 10 měsíci

      This is superb! Information, as a noob it gets quite to handle all of this and staying informed is a major cause, how do you go about this are you a pro investor?

    • @KatherineAnderson-lm8bw
      @KatherineAnderson-lm8bw Před 10 měsíci

      Through closely monitoring the performance of my portfolio, I have witnessed a remarkable growth of $500k in just the past two quarters. This experience has shed light on why experienced traders are able to generate substantial returns even in lesser-known markets. It is safe to say that this bold decision has been one of the most impactful choices I have made recently.

    • @philipcollen482
      @philipcollen482 Před 10 měsíci

      wow that’s stirring! Do you mind connecting me to your advisor please. I desperately need one to diversified my portfolio.

    • @RyanContreras72
      @RyanContreras72 Před 10 měsíci

      Do you mind sharing info on the adviser who assisted you? I’m 40 now and would love to grow my stock portfolio and plan my retirement.

  • @brianal7143
    @brianal7143 Před 10 měsíci +4

    I'm grateful for these call's because I know I'm not alone! Family can be toxic as hell!

  • @mikesmith-wk7vy
    @mikesmith-wk7vy Před 11 měsíci +17

    My mom goes through the same thing. When my grandfather was going through cancer my mom moved 2 hours away to be with them , when he died my mom moved back home and took my grandmother with her . My grandmother has long been asking my mom to quit her job to move back to her house and take care of her full time . The stress of all that has been really hard on my mom as she tries to do Everything for her while working. And to make it worse my brother is constantly asking her to watch his toddler almost weekly

    • @deborahblackvideoediting8697
      @deborahblackvideoediting8697 Před 11 měsíci +4

      Your poor mom. It sounds like everyone is using her (except you). :(

    • @Neddie2k
      @Neddie2k Před 11 měsíci +2

      Please look after your mum, hope you can afford to take her out for dinner, show her some appreciation.

    • @Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries
      @Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries Před 11 měsíci +7

      Tell her NO is a complete sentence. My sister and I have to do that daily

    • @user-mv9tt4st9k
      @user-mv9tt4st9k Před 11 měsíci +2

      ​@@Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuriesAgreed!

  • @snowjae9380
    @snowjae9380 Před 10 měsíci +4

    “Choose guilt over resentment”
    That hits hard. I’ve hit resentment before and that’s a slippery slope that is difficult to recover from.

  • @skyrobin4008
    @skyrobin4008 Před 11 měsíci +69

    The audacity of some parents to expect their kids to live their lives caring for them.

    • @abrareads
      @abrareads Před 11 měsíci +11

      There are many cultures that embrace taking care of their elders. I hope the mom chooses to move to Texas.

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 Před 11 měsíci +6

      @@abrareadsin those culture, the elders embrace the idea of their children taking care of them. The children aren’t excited about it, they are just raised to expect doing it.

    • @blackworldtraveler3711
      @blackworldtraveler3711 Před 11 měsíci +3

      @@TonyCox1351
      Yeah I know a few families in several countries in Asia and South America since the 90s since before their kids were born.
      Yup they aren't excited at all about it and just expected to do it. Many still have to leave home though for their career.

    • @CarlaQuattlebaum
      @CarlaQuattlebaum Před 11 měsíci +2

      @@TonyCox1351 That's what I was wondering about these cultures where you take care of the elders. I wonder if the adult children grow to resent it. I'm not saying stick the parent in a nursing home and never go see them. If they can live in their own home and afford caregivers, they shouldn't expect their kids to put their lives on hold to take care of them. Makes me wonder if these parents who expect to be taken care of took care of THEIR OWN parents.

    • @Darkpara1
      @Darkpara1 Před 10 měsíci +2

      In those countries there aren't retirement safety nets. Those people are poor, and they have no choice other than to take care of their relatives for the most part.
      @@CarlaQuattlebaum

  • @blas8866
    @blas8866 Před 11 měsíci +34

    I asked my mom who’s 60 what she plans to do for retirement since she has nothing to her name, she said die. I’m in my late 30’s and was thinking about retirement savings since I got my first job. I have almost $200k in my 401k. Financial literacy and self motivation is what propels you. Im choosing not to get married and have kids so I’ll need money to be as self sufficient for as long as I can.

    • @chanson8508
      @chanson8508 Před 11 měsíci

      What if she asks you for assistance? Won't you feel guilty given your stability that you should help her a little or alot 😢

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 Před 11 měsíci +2

      Shout out to us, im also in my late 30s with almost 200K saved for retirement. I would never be a burden on my children. If I outlive my retirement funds I’ll probably just off myself… will have been a good long life at that point time to exit on a high note 😂

    • @vickieclark5931
      @vickieclark5931 Před 11 měsíci +5

      @@chanson8508 Like John said, it's better to choose guilt over resentment. Why should she have to let her immature mom that has no plans to take care of herself take the money she worked for. It's one thing to help an elderly parent once they get older. But their money should be taking care of them, not their kid's money.

    • @rh-bd6wv
      @rh-bd6wv Před 11 měsíci

      67 year old caring for an 89 year old. What I've learned is that I will never do this to my children. Drugs, guns, trains, whaterver it take to not burden them this way. And they should absolutely not feel guilty.@@chanson8508

    • @katherinesmith235
      @katherinesmith235 Před 11 měsíci

      I'm 63, and can't even imagine choosing to be dependent on a child. Sixty isn't even old, and your mom has at least 10 years to invest. I'd be living in a camper van (Cherokee Wolf Pups are pretty cheap) in someone's driveway and socking away my money (it helps that I think campers are pretty cute). If she put aside 20 000 a year, she could buy a 120 000 annuity in 10 years. That would be about 1000 a month. If she had another 1500 in Social Security she would have 2500 a month. Not a lot but something. Has she ever thought about money in a systematic way? If you're living in America you have to think about this stuff. You don't have a choice. And you don't get to take your kids down with you because you don't want to think.

  • @livingunashamed4869
    @livingunashamed4869 Před 11 měsíci +13

    The 400k invested plus her social security should be enough to last her. She's 86 with maybe 10 yrs left give or take.

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 Před 11 měsíci +2

      Bro at 86 just take me. I might just jump off a parking structure if I live that long. Who wants to go another 10 years being a burden at that point??

    • @rh-bd6wv
      @rh-bd6wv Před 11 měsíci

      Amen. Finally a voice of reason.@@TonyCox1351

    • @Brsrafal
      @Brsrafal Před 10 měsíci +2

      400k at 86 is great!

  • @jeannekimura7995
    @jeannekimura7995 Před 10 měsíci

    Oh my goodness, I so needed to hear this call today. THANK YOU, and God bless you!

  • @AmandaRogersarock1988
    @AmandaRogersarock1988 Před 10 měsíci +5

    I feel Max's dilemma so hard. My mom was looking after my grandmother while I was graduating high school, and asked me to not go off to college to take care of her as I had also been helping her. It was difficult as I had been working since I was 14 and had money saved up, which also went to lawyers fees as family members were suing over power of attorney. I pretty much decided at that moment I wasn't going to have kids to burden them with that. I then pulled her life support in 2012, eventually got my $$ back, but was so heartbroken over the whole process.

  • @fhuber7507
    @fhuber7507 Před 11 měsíci +8

    "Mommy Dearest" gets to ASK you to quit your job if she's going to pay you more than your job was paying....

  • @wenchyfoodwench4098
    @wenchyfoodwench4098 Před 11 měsíci +11

    Sounds like guardianship might be a good idea. Get her money in order and plan for her to pay for her care. Ignore the rest of the family

  • @progers86
    @progers86 Před 11 měsíci +36

    That mom is INCREDIBLY selfish!! Also, that "cousin" has either been dipping into that $725k or gambling with it. Either way, the math ain't mathing. Max needs to get cousin's hands off that money asap!

    • @Minimalist-Lifestyle
      @Minimalist-Lifestyle Před 11 měsíci +5

      If it was all in bonds, it could have dropped into the $500K's, but $400K's !!?? ..something definitely amiss...
      ...either way, handing "cousin Nick" three-quarters of a million dollars to manage....☹

    • @deborahblackvideoediting8697
      @deborahblackvideoediting8697 Před 11 měsíci +8

      Agreed. The cousin looks like he's been helping himself to the money. That's a pretty big drop in funds. They need to get control of that money away from him asap.

    • @alinatamashevich3354
      @alinatamashevich3354 Před 11 měsíci

      @@deborahblackvideoediting8697 A full accounting of every penny ASAP

  • @LisaGrace
    @LisaGrace Před měsícem +2

    I'm currently battling with my parents 86 and 87 to move closer to me, as I am still working and not able to travel often to their house an hour away. They could downsize, and have a newer nicer place closer to me as my county is cheaper. They do expect me as the only daughter (and the only child still in the state) to be the one to take care of them. As it is, I drive down to see them once a week--and I'm not going to make that trip more often.

  • @mikeshaw4610
    @mikeshaw4610 Před 11 měsíci +4

    The advice is very good. You have to put you first.
    You also have to learn and us one other word. -- No

  • @theadvocate3006
    @theadvocate3006 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Guilt over resentment! I like that nugget John!

  • @dna1149
    @dna1149 Před 11 měsíci +4

    Someone needs to look into withdrawals on those stocks. It shouldn't have gone down that much.

  • @CaptainUnconventional
    @CaptainUnconventional Před 11 měsíci +5

    The investments lost half because of where the money is now. GET BACK CONTROL OF THE MONEY ! Put it in CD"s

    • @zanneizzo8113
      @zanneizzo8113 Před 11 měsíci +1

      I agree. We lost half our portfolio in 2008. We retired in 2010 with some of it coming back. We moved and put it into real estate. Made more back. We took it all out of the stock market and put it into CDs where we have a guaranteed 5% at the moment. We are happy to be off the roller coaster at our age.

  • @robloxvids2233
    @robloxvids2233 Před 11 měsíci +3

    Your cuzz is stealin' from yo mama. Fr 💯

  • @dazzaoutandabout4870
    @dazzaoutandabout4870 Před 11 měsíci +6

    I reckon cousin Nick is driving around in a new car. 300k in this environment is suss.

  • @jimroscovius
    @jimroscovius Před 11 měsíci +3

    Tell her NO!! It's not your responsibility.

  • @adamseidel9780
    @adamseidel9780 Před 11 měsíci +5

    Honestly, what kind of selfish POS asks somebody to quit their job and work to take care of them to free, outside some exceptional assets. If they already have money or don’t need money then it’s different, but if they’re a normal person who needs to work you need to let the younger generation live.

  • @lisalister8002
    @lisalister8002 Před 10 měsíci +1

    The award for the most interruptions goes to..... Dave Ramsey!

  • @bhilbert11
    @bhilbert11 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Same thing happened to me. My mom wanted me to move home and it just didn't make sense. I asked her to move into me, she refused, It still hurts.

  • @jenniferannfox2316
    @jenniferannfox2316 Před 11 měsíci +3

    This sounds so familiar but this is more of a boundary problem than money problem.

  • @NewLifestyleMentor
    @NewLifestyleMentor Před 11 měsíci +5

    The family does NOT get a vote. She needs to fire the cousin, ‘cuz he did a horrible job managing those funds (he lost almost half of that money). It’s not the family’s life, and the mom has got to stop laying down the guilt trips.

    • @sariah2425
      @sariah2425 Před 11 měsíci +1

      I was transferred into their account. Thats where the money went.

    • @NewLifestyleMentor
      @NewLifestyleMentor Před 11 měsíci +1

      @@sariah2425 of course it was; and it’s been spent long time ago. There ain’t getting that money from that dear, sweet cousin.

  • @jocarson5310
    @jocarson5310 Před 11 měsíci

    When she said Nick my mind went right to the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. From then on the whole call seemed like a it had been taken directly from the movie script.

  • @YoReLa72
    @YoReLa72 Před 29 dny

    Thank you for sharing this. My Mom is 80 and has a paid off home worth a lot of money and no physical health issues and wants me and my husband to move from Tennessee to another state while we're trying to work and I pay out of pocket for a spine specialist and also refuses to move and guilt trips me too.

  • @letsbefreeletsbefree7183
    @letsbefreeletsbefree7183 Před 10 měsíci +2

    Im not from america but dont you have elderly care by government?
    I live in sweden and we have the state that take care of elderly people when they get sick and everyone get a low but liveable pension even if you havent worked its noy much money but for someone that havent saved anything by themself its decent.

  • @janelleg597
    @janelleg597 Před 11 měsíci +19

    Pretty selfish Mom....

  • @dannymorris2139
    @dannymorris2139 Před 11 měsíci +4

    You haven't lost money on stocks, until you sell "down"... Someone has been panick selling...

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 Před 11 měsíci +1

      Your stock still has a value. So the value went from 700K to 400K. She can hold it forever hoping it goes up but that doesn’t help pay the bills

  • @listerinr
    @listerinr Před 11 měsíci +2

    This lady is a grown child.

  • @ThaTurminator
    @ThaTurminator Před 11 měsíci +1

    Saw the thumbnail with Daves face and "SHE DOESNT GET A VOTE!", and i instantly thought comon Dave, youre not that old.

  • @sleepyjoe1685
    @sleepyjoe1685 Před 11 měsíci +3

    That investment thing is very suspicious.

  • @vjs4539
    @vjs4539 Před 11 měsíci +10

    Cousin making bank off his uncle and aunt

    • @CarlaQuattlebaum
      @CarlaQuattlebaum Před 11 měsíci

      @vjs4539 - Cousin should find himself sleeping with the fishes . . .

  • @sallythibodeaux7992
    @sallythibodeaux7992 Před 29 dny

    I agree, move where you want to be and offer her to go with you. It’s her decision and no one should blame you for it.

  • @joeriveracomedy
    @joeriveracomedy Před 11 měsíci

    Sell the stocks and house. They'll have no less than 350k after taxes. Live it up on monthly dividends that will grow like a beanstalk.

  • @thehoverfit8094
    @thehoverfit8094 Před 11 měsíci +4

    Sounds like Nick took $300,000🤔

  • @mathgasm8484
    @mathgasm8484 Před 11 měsíci

    My dad is 70 so I stay close just in case he needs me.

  • @njcanuck
    @njcanuck Před měsícem +1

    I think it's fear of change. Easier to get everyone around you to make the changes. Ultimately, it's selfish and treating you as a child.

  • @Neddie2k
    @Neddie2k Před 11 měsíci +5

    These parents lived their lives and don't want their kids to live their own lives. The one that gets me the most is the guilt-tripping.

    • @CarlaQuattlebaum
      @CarlaQuattlebaum Před 11 měsíci

      @Neddie2k - I said it in another comment - did these parents take care of THEIR parents? If not, why are they expecting their kids to care for THEM?

  • @radolfkalis4041
    @radolfkalis4041 Před měsícem +1

    The cousin needs to be removed from the financial equation. He was in charge of the finances that went from 700k to 400k. He is stealing or incompetent.

  • @whitneyw.7919
    @whitneyw.7919 Před 9 měsíci

    John line that he drops every day "choose guilt over resentment every single time" is really stupid. You choose to be resentful and you can choose to not be resentful. And if you feel guilty, it's probably your intuition telling you that maybe you should adjust your course.

  • @wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303

    I would be so for that if my mom gave me a $3k monthly stipend and living quarters to do it. lol

  • @jsgll...godgunsliberty1197
    @jsgll...godgunsliberty1197 Před 11 měsíci

    Here Reno/Sparks NV Church, I believed you have visited us years ago, I would love your direction on how to invest.
    I have been threw FPU, not sure it was taught correctly. . . Currently taking the stacked Cd road out of safety but not sure it’s the best bang for my buck, would love to share but not via CZcams. Can you help/guide me. Peace & Grace threw our Savior JC.

  • @hugopatlan8630
    @hugopatlan8630 Před 11 měsíci

    I'm sure Nick will understand 😂

  • @taniagarrison6216
    @taniagarrison6216 Před 10 měsíci +1

    What if all of u moved to texas?

  • @melanieb2132
    @melanieb2132 Před 10 měsíci

    Nick has the dough. The stock market didnt do that bad. These people may not be playing with a full deck.

  • @chaz3279
    @chaz3279 Před měsícem +1

    Dave wanted to say so badly “he wasn’t good at the stock market if he lost all of the investment”

  • @Anthony-ru5kc
    @Anthony-ru5kc Před 11 měsíci

    She can hirer aid who can live with her don’t feel bad do what you want it your time

  • @TheSarah89
    @TheSarah89 Před 2 měsíci +1

    I would rather be homeless than depend on my kids in my old age.

  • @amc5926
    @amc5926 Před 10 měsíci

    cousin is taking the money and running with it

  • @lukeharris2622
    @lukeharris2622 Před 11 měsíci +1

    ✝️🙏

  • @Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries
    @Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries Před 11 měsíci +2

    Better get that money away from the cousin before it's gone.

    • @CarlaQuattlebaum
      @CarlaQuattlebaum Před 11 měsíci +1

      @Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries - Might have to lean on that cousin a bit to convince him.

  • @alinatamashevich3354
    @alinatamashevich3354 Před 11 měsíci

    Ole' Slick Nick better have all the receipts for that expenditure. Remember "Dumb and Dumber?" He had that briefcase full of receipts? But all the money was gone? That is Nick.

  • @rdbeaz
    @rdbeaz Před 11 měsíci +2

    Helllll NO

  • @DaSpread0
    @DaSpread0 Před 11 měsíci

    If I have $8,500 in debt and $9,000 in bank. Should i pay it off now OR take that money and invest and continue $250 a month payments? Minimum payment is $93 i bring home $4,500 a month in michigan

    • @javaskull88
      @javaskull88 Před 11 měsíci +5

      Keep $1K in the bank and pay $8,000 on the debt, then pay off the remaining $500 ASAP. You need to keep that $1k in emergency savings to keep from using credit again.

    • @truthseeker6370
      @truthseeker6370 Před 11 měsíci +3

      Why are you even asking this question here? If you indeed aren't a spammer and genuinely asking...you would already know Dave's advice would be to retain $1000 for Emergencies and apply the rest toward paying off debt.
      But you have to follow the baby steps and become Gazelle Intense in not only paying off debt... but to also Make sure you Never take on debt again- by following a written budget where you see where every dollar goes.

    • @jenniferannfox2316
      @jenniferannfox2316 Před 11 měsíci +1

      pay 1000.00 a month from your 4500.00 a month salary until you pay it off in 4.5 months. Then start investing. Paying off debt is an investment plan when you owe.

    • @kagnewcobra5228
      @kagnewcobra5228 Před 11 měsíci +1

      Bet it all on black.

    • @alinatamashevich3354
      @alinatamashevich3354 Před 11 měsíci

      @@kagnewcobra5228 Take even, let that ball roll.

  • @anniesshenanigans3815
    @anniesshenanigans3815 Před 11 měsíci +17

    wow. Max feels guilty about wanting to go to Texas to be with her kids... yet her own Mother won't give a little and go to Texas instead of Florida? Sell that house in Florida! Go to Texas!! Florida is a mess, I know I live here.

    • @AC-qo8oq
      @AC-qo8oq Před 11 měsíci +4

      Texas is a mess and I live here. Why is Florida a mess?

    • @chickensandwich3398
      @chickensandwich3398 Před 11 měsíci +8

      Agreed. Move to Texas. Your whole family is there. Mom is in Florida by herself. She's the one being selfish. She has to change, not you.

    • @eclipse.5295
      @eclipse.5295 Před 11 měsíci

      @@AC-qo8oq I think she’s thinking politically, and I’m in Florida and I have to agree but Texas isn’t much better 😜

    • @anniesshenanigans3815
      @anniesshenanigans3815 Před 11 měsíci +1

      @@AC-qo8oq Crazy expensive and lots of people moving here.

  • @percivalgooglyeyes6178
    @percivalgooglyeyes6178 Před 11 měsíci +6

    Move to Texas! Texas is awesome, the absolute best place in the world to live. God's country.

    • @chickensandwich3398
      @chickensandwich3398 Před 11 měsíci +3

      As someone who grew up in Florida and moved to Texas I couldn't agree more. If you want children who'll grow up to be decent adults live in Texas. If you want children surrounded by nonsense, live in Florida. Florida is just for vacations and retirement.
      --A native Floridian who loves living in Texas

    • @amireallythatgrumpy6508
      @amireallythatgrumpy6508 Před 11 měsíci

      There is zero chance the best place in the world to live is the USA. Too many stupid people.

  • @andyg806
    @andyg806 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Sounds like someone's been swindled out of $350k

  • @rhern44
    @rhern44 Před 11 měsíci +1

    Anyone else notice Delony being twitchy and blinking a lot?

  • @mrskitty7929
    @mrskitty7929 Před 10 měsíci

    She needs an attorney to get the money from the cousin. Immediately

  • @bryannorris3976
    @bryannorris3976 Před 10 měsíci

    That money is long gone. SMH

  • @user-mv9tt4st9k
    @user-mv9tt4st9k Před 11 měsíci

    Counsel mom to get the money out of the cousin's control and into trusted money managers/investments. If mom does not want to do that, say goodbye to her cash (inheritance) and let her decide what she wants to do with her life. Grandma's are precious to grandchildren--plan that move to Texas today, ha ha. The family will be resentful and guilt hurling, so be it. Send nice greeting cards for birthdays and holidays. 😂😂

  • @Nick-gk6hj
    @Nick-gk6hj Před 10 měsíci +1

    Nick moved the money to Bitcoin, guaranteed.

  • @evanhuang6963
    @evanhuang6963 Před 9 měsíci

    seems Ramsey pretty cold blood, i guess thats how his parents raised him. rice and bean and only rice and bean. No extra love for him. I would think everything i can do in that case to take care of my mom if she is 86 and wants to live in California with me. I am the only child, and my mom works so hard to give me all the best until i graduate form master degree. I am lucky and does not have to take out any loan during student life. i would move to her in her last 10 years of life and taking care of her by myself.

    • @hiddenhand6973
      @hiddenhand6973 Před 5 měsíci

      She’s taking care of you past her obligation and you are paying it back. That’s fair.

  • @matthewkeens6149
    @matthewkeens6149 Před 10 měsíci

    yeah the math from 725k to 400k in the past 2-3 years doesn’t make any sense unless you’re heavily invested in bonds or crypto.

  • @reyvivas2010
    @reyvivas2010 Před 11 měsíci +1

    The Stock Market crash she's talking about it's called 'Nick'...

  • @jaysleeper264
    @jaysleeper264 Před 11 měsíci +15

    Nick is at best incompetent, and at worst....well...😬
    That's a lot to lose over a few strong market years.

    • @jimmymcgill6778
      @jimmymcgill6778 Před 11 měsíci

      They have just started taking care of it. And stocks go up and down all the time.

    • @TheUnluckyGama
      @TheUnluckyGama Před 11 měsíci

      ​@@jimmymcgill6778they lost 50% in under a year, in a year where the market hasn't really fallen

    • @TonyCox1351
      @TonyCox1351 Před 11 měsíci

      @@jimmymcgill6778individual stocks go up and down all the time but that late in the game it should be mostly in bonds or even if it was an index fund it wouldn’t be down that much

  • @laneyluneva
    @laneyluneva Před 11 měsíci

    John's being a bit dramatic here though. Maybe mom's dream is to live out her days in Florida, she doesn't have to feel obligated to go to Texas to family. Not everyone chooses to be so close to family for one reason or another. But as they said, she's a grown woman who can make her own decisions, if she is indeed mentally there.

  • @sebastiaanvandoorn3223
    @sebastiaanvandoorn3223 Před 10 měsíci

    That cousin been investing in a pool with his own money and everything that goes up is his and everything that goes down is grandauntie's. Worst decision ever!

  • @leahb.1393
    @leahb.1393 Před 10 měsíci

    How are we supposed to believe our family member want us to live life to the fullest after they die, when they guilt trip and make us responsible for their end of life care? The two don’t correlate to me

    • @jocarson5310
      @jocarson5310 Před měsícem

      So your life is only filled with things that please you?
      Make you happy?
      Carefree?
      In times other than the one we live in you would be labeled a Hedonist.
      I think it’s time we started using that label again.

  • @mathematician1234
    @mathematician1234 Před 11 měsíci

    The broad market in the U.S. is pretty much exactly where it was 24 months ago, and exactly where it was 18 months ago. It is about 15% up on where it was 12 months ago, including reinvested dividends. The caller says her $725,000 investment is down 45% to only $400,000 over some unclear time frame which could be 18 months. It is possible that the father had a 401(k) with undiversified company stock and just left it all in one stock (e.g., Tyson foods TSN, or ACCO brands ACCO), both of which are down).
    The caller needs to jump into action right now and ask _where_ _is_ _the_ _money_ _invested?_
    She needs to get help from someone who actually knows what is going on with this investment and with the markets.
    If it is in diversified U.S. stocks and $325,000 is gone then cousin Nick may have his hand in the cookie jar.

  • @random-nz7dy
    @random-nz7dy Před 10 měsíci

    Want to messed up situation. Cousin Nick ripping off the mom. The mom trying to control over adult daughter lives.
    Meanwhile John awkwardly waits for his turn to get his point in and finally got there.

  • @jesscline9661
    @jesscline9661 Před 11 měsíci +2

    First lol never done this before 😂

  • @davinasquirrel7672
    @davinasquirrel7672 Před měsícem +1

    Is Cousin Nick gambling away at 'day trading'?

  • @murraybeachtel8585
    @murraybeachtel8585 Před 10 měsíci

    No one is talking about how that cousin is definitely taking money out of the investment he is managing. No one loses 300,000 without taking money out.

  • @Mam-ur1
    @Mam-ur1 Před 10 měsíci

    Don't forget to make her pay rent and contribute to the household, you can''t let her mooch off of you.

  • @elizabethfigueroa6811
    @elizabethfigueroa6811 Před 10 měsíci

    Her cousin is taking care of it rhe investments because he's male. She's probably Hispanic based on her accent and details and this is common. Women do the caregiving but do not get power of attorney or to manage financial affairs.
    Her mother is not beyond the moon and more than likely disappointed there's even the smallest resistance from her daughter. In mom's mind Max is doing the bare minimum. They really need cultural consultants on this show.
    I feel for Max and hope she gets some counseling to break this cycle.

  • @alex182618
    @alex182618 Před 11 měsíci +1

    She should move to FL.

  • @laneyluneva
    @laneyluneva Před 11 měsíci

    That's an awfully big loss and the market wasn't so bad it didn't recover. Nick is either completely incompetent or they need to dig into the history of the account...looking for withdrawals or transfers...just saying.

  • @darkangel686868
    @darkangel686868 Před 10 měsíci

    That cousin has embezzled $100000s of money, get it under control asap! Your mom sounds selfish and manipulative and WILL threaten you with disinheritance, it’s just the way she is.

  • @SBScott
    @SBScott Před měsícem

    This is the same lady who will be calling back in a month or two and saying “Dave, my mom gave her investment money to my cousin and he says it was a lost in a stock market crash. What do I do?”