This song saved my life my son played it for me when I was at the bottom of a ten year opiate addiction. I saw my kids pain in Nates eyes and voice. I've been clean for two years and a fan ever since.
@@joshuatudgay3053 ya a lot of reactors skip around so they get confused on what's happening because his songs go in order so I'm happy he is doing it this way
I'm 64 and I've heard a lot of music in my life, but THIS....THIS is something I never experienced before becoming a huge fan of Nate's music. I have his last four albums on a playlist that put on rotation. I can listen to it for hours on end and I never tire of it. He's one in a billion in my book.
No, I think she’s saying “Shut up, this isn’t you, no way” as to praise Nate for his music. Which is why it hits HARDER when he says “couple weeks later, guess you were singing a different tune”. Basically him stating that she pretends to care, only to turn around to forget the exchange ever happened.
I must bring attention to the part Talkin' 'bout my music and I brought you some to listen to You started cryin', tellin' me this isn't you A couple weeks later, guess you were singin' a different tune This clearly is saying that his songs were talking about her, and she was saying that wasn't her, but a few weeks later she gave in to the drugs. NF always uses his perspective even for others' speeches; whenever he says you he's talking about someone else.
Another way to interpret the line of the conversation with his mom, she's telling him that this is not her. I've seen enough people trying to fight addictions say things this effect; "this isn't who I want to be," "this isn't how I used to be," things like that, usually during a moment of clarity when they want on some level to get help. The wording he uses makes it harder to decipher which context he meant, but based off of the line right after, "I guess a couple weeks later you were singing a different tune," suggests that she had been trying to convince him in some way that the drugs didn't control her.
This song was my introduction to NF and it was a few months after I lost my son to addiction in 2017. The line “I hate the way I remember you” struck me like a ton of bricks. After dealing with my son’s addiction for 6 very long years, it has been very difficult for me to remember the great things about my son. There was so much more to my child than his addiction. One day, I hope I can remember his great personality, his heart of gold, his smile. I love your reactions and so glad you are going on the NF journey.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm not a mother, nor am I an adult yet but as a child I was forced to grow up. I have lost friends to drugs, suicides, and overall petty arguments. I can't say I understand your pain as we all feel pain in a different way. All I can offer is the thought you're not alone in your pain or way of thinking. I hope you're able to come to peace with your son and accept he was more than his abuse. I think we hold onto the fact they abused drugs as a protection mechanism. Think about it, if we realize that they were more than their addiction, we miss that more. We ten to resent what we don't understand as humans. So in the end, we may resent them more as we can't understand why they turned to drugs even if we saw that sliver of their true personality those couple times when they were sober and happy. I wish you all the luck💜
@@AltSpace I can relate to the song a little bit because I’m a teenager myself and most of my family has been caught up in drugs or has died from them. Honestly it has shown me where I don’t want to be in life so I will not make the same mistakes. The track is so amazing and very deep tho and I’m glad that you really think about not only this song, but all the songs you react to in depth. My favorite music react channel by far👌
@@kiana8950 I'm sorry that you have to go through that. I'm so glad that people like NF exists so that you have a shoulder to lean on. Thank you for watching and your kind words 🙏
And yes that's him actually crying at the end and through out the song he was in tears nd everything....i have not come across any other artist or song that shows this emotion these feels its a song I always feel tough to listen to even to this day
"Not sure if I want to know what's about to happen," and yet, I think this is one of the 2 main songs you have to listen to to understand the entire journey. It's tough, man. This song is tough.
Nate has a way of telling his life story in such a great way even if you don't relate to the song you can still enjoy and learn from it except for me I relate in a deep way cuz I have a mom who did the same thing but she is still alive and this song makes me think of what could happen😐so this song is really important to me💗
This is why Nate has such devoted fans! He does write about real life and his experiences and even if you can’t directly relate to it, you feel how personal it is to him. His music has helped me so much with my emotions and inner struggles as well as relating to my daughters who suffer from depression and anxiety. Love his music and can’t wait to hear what he’s working on!
His dad was there but he doesn't talk about him a lot. Other than in one of his songs his dad tells him he is proud of him. You are literally listening in on his therapy sessions when you listen to his music.
This song gives me chills every time because I can relate. This song describes my life with both parents, both my mom and dad gave in to drugs. My dad died when I was 7 and I haven't seen my mom in 5 years because of drug issues and law enforcement.
I like that your life has not given you the frame of reference to understand some of this song straight up. The social worker in the corner would have been there for his mothers supervised visitation, They would have been raised ward of the state in care. Mum was an addict with a partner that abused NF (Mansion step dad). Addiction takes all you are and all you have before it kills you. I know this story from many sides now and this song says so many things that need to be said. This is the song for children with parents in addiction that can not see what their escape from pain is doing and when/if they do, they can not stop and it destroys them all. It's heartbreaking for everyone involved and so misunderstood because no one wants to talk about it so it only gets more surrounded by shame and the pain just grows.... NF speaks this truth and gives it a voice to end the shame and break the cycle. Addiction hates facing Truth.
Thank you for breaking that down. it's by far his most emotional, I've been reluctant to return to it off camera as I'll just start crying if I listen to it.
After seeing Nate preform a few times, every time he performs this song, he has to have a moment of silence for his mom, despite his sobbing, he still wants to go on. He loves his mother despite it all and he said that in many shows
Having had the opportunity to see NF's Therapy Session tour, I'm pretty the whole room was crying with him as he performed this live. It took a lot for him to perform this song live.
This is the song that made me discover NF and I am grateful that I did he has been my favorite artist since then, I actually heard this song after I lost my grandma a year after the song released, she meant the world to me and when she passed I went into depression and I have been depressed since, and listening to nate's music comforts me, my anxiety used to run my life but nate's music has helped me control it more
Yo really a great reaction man! So since you've heard the song I give you the exact backstory of everything (at least what we know): Nate was born in Saginaw and grew up in Gladwin. His parents divorced when he was young because of his mother's addiction and other things, and he and his sisters went to live with his mom and there was a really weird situation there, with one of their mum's boyfriends who scared them and beat them,as you heard in Mansion (he abused Nate and one of the two sisters). So they moved in with his dad and started having visits with his mom. It was very embarrassing and weird because,as he said in the song, there was this lady sitting in the corner taking notes and writing down everything they said. He didn't even feel that this was his mom but just a weird person they were trying to introduce him to when in reality he should have already been in a relationship with her. Then for a few years in high school or at least for a while he didn't have a relationship with his mom,one of the reasons I think was because the court ordered a social worker to monitor their conversations (I hope that's true, I read about some websites)Then he started having some kind of relationship with her again. He wanted to be there for his mom and he wanted to do something for her,even though he knew he couldn't change her.Then, shortly thereafter, when he was 18, he received a phone call and was told that his mother had died of an overdose. He had seen her two weeks before that. Nate said that getting older he started seeing life with a more open mind, instead of just what he thinks, he has more empathy and compassion for his mom, and although he doesn't know everything personally about her, he believes she had many things she struggled with inside, and he understands that sometimes people becoming addicted to things because they are running away from something.He was obviously sad when he wrote this song but also angry, he felt all his life like the pills were more important than him, but now he has a different perspective on what happened to his mom To record the last part where he cries he asked everyone to leave the studio, so he was left alone to "talk to his mom", then they took only the most important parts and put them in the song Also, I leave you here an old video of him singing an old version of this song Needed you/how could you leave us czcams.com/video/JjaVBzlcyMg/video.html See you at the next video!
If you ever get a chance to watch some of his interviews, he had one earlier this year where they asked him a little bit about How Could You Leave Us and how he's moved forward since. Now he says he's worked through a lot of these emotions and while he doesn't regret making the song, he no longer feels the way he describes here. Basically, he understands a little more that it was about her, not him, and understands that she did love him even though she wasn't able to overcome her addiction. It was honestly really amazing to hear, especially since this song still makes me cry if I'm not in the right headspace to hear it lol
I've been watching since I found your first NF reaction video. I cannot get through this song without crying because I literally lived almost the exact same thing, I just cried watching this at 8:20am lol. My mom was an alcoholic, drug addict, was put in a girls home at an early age and stayed in jail, would trick men to take everything they had and run, fought cops, escaped prison you name it. I was raised by my grandparents since around 8 months, and she signed rights to me over after tricking him into bringing me over to them. I didn't find my real dad and meet him until 21 years old and my real mom caused tons of huge traumatic events moving in and out of my family and doin horrible things. She tried suicide and failed multiple times, I was so angry with her for so long that I don't think hate could even be an accurate description. I held onto that for defense.... one day my ex/friend told me she overdosed at my grandparents house and my grandma found her on the floor dead in the bathroom. All I could do is go across the road on a hill and watch as they wheeled her out on a stretcher and in an ambulance. It took me a year and a half to 2 years to come to terms and break down. I started blaming myself for not reaching out, for not at least trying later on thinking maybe I could have been what kept her here. I've since been able to let the anger I had go and i still have the resentment towards myself..... let's just say my entire life has been pretty dark and painful. I struggled through school dealing with all this and getting picked on, so on top of what pain I was already carrying there was no way out of this mental stuff. But between her and others in my family causing my family to implode and destroy each other I did dedicate myself to never get on or try drugs, my reason to everyone is my real mom gave me the exact picture of who and what I didn't wanna be, so I wanted to become successful no matter how hard it hurt without drugs
I’ve seen drugs take control of my parents and siblings lives. It can be one of the most devastating things to watch from the outside as a child. As you grow and realize what they are doing, or why they are acting a certain way. His anger that later turns into desperation portrays the exact feeling of the child that bares witness to your parents practically killing themselves. They threw theirselves into addictions to seek relief for a temporary fix. Such a hard subject.
One of my favorite NF lyrics has gotta be "I ain't gonna say that I forgive you cause it hasn't happened." The reality and struggle of that... Not forgiving someone you love and needed and not even having them around to be able to have that conversation and work on forgiveness with. That shit is unimaginable to me. That pain... Oof.
I'm thinking his Dad is actually the one who raised him. If you notice, even before the scene with the Social Worker, he talks about her calling to say she's "not coming," then there's the scene with the SW. SW's are usually sent for visitations that the absent parent has with the kids. Also, he makes a comment that "I'm in a room with a parent I don't barely know." Leaving me to believe that she's hardly ever around. Also, he says in another line, about his Mom, "you don't know me that well." I found some info online about him that says his Mother raised him and his siblings for awhile before his Dad had to take the children away due to the abuse of the kids by his Mother's boyfriend. I'm assuming his Dad them from that time on. Anyway...I appreciate your insightful and wise analysis of the song. HIs music is just incredible!
The crazy part about this song is the lyrics hit the same way for different situations. My dad left when I was young and the chorus resonates with me. I used to think it was my fault and I always wanted answers as to why he did it.
His dad is around. He will get to his dad... and his moms boyfriend Johnny. At different points. Him and his dad have had ups and downs but it’s much better now
I love your reactions and breakdowns to NF, some of the best I've seen. You put so much actual insight and substance into the videos and I look forward to watching as you go along the journey. Thank you.
Really insightful reaction as always! Glad you did this one man, it’s so important for the journey. Also super good to see you’re going in order 🙌🏻 hype for whichever song is next!
Great reaction as usual bro. Subbed after your first NF reaction. I really like your perspectives on everything, especially NF. The line about his mom is saying "this isn't you" is to directed towards Nate and his music. She's telling Nate this isn't her, when it 100% is. She's lying to herself because of her addiction to pills.
Love your introspective breakdown on this song. I don’t listen to this song anymore EXCEPT when I watch someone react to it for the first time. And I cry damn near every time. Also grateful I’ve never had to go through any of this in my personal life.
I really loved your review and opinion on the end. A lot of youtuber just shortly comment on wheater they liked it or not but you went deep. Keep that up👍🏽
This reaction is the best I've seen to this song! You really tried to dissect this song and divulge what you could in relation to NFs struggles. This song still to this day makes me cry. (I know I'm a man but we cry whether some choose to admit it or not; there's nothing wrong with it). His story... his past, really hits home with me; his story really correlates with that of my own and i really feel his words. Please keep this reactions 100! They are the best out here!
I really love your channel and NF reactions! I’m going to subscribe because of this reaction alone. I relate so much to Nate, it’s hard to even really describe how much I feel I understand him, especially with this song. My mom was addicted to opiates and fentanyl, as well as other hard pain killers for about 16 years of my life. My father is a very bad alcoholic, and my aunt has been addicted to heroin since she was 14. I’ve been surrounded my addicts since I was about 4; luckily my mom didn’t die and she is actually sober nowadays, but my dad and aunt are not. It was very hard living through it; most things I tell people about the type of abuse and neglect I’ve lived through they find hard to believe. It’s hard for me to realize that my childhood and the majority of my life is abnormal. I appreciated your analysis of this song if you can call it that, and really discussing the topic at hand. My heart goes out to Nate, I can imagine the type of pain hes been through. His music is very touching and dear to me.
When I got the notification for this I was like yes! then remembered it hurts like hell every time. I have the same story.. I still can’t make it through that ending of him crying his heart out without shedding a tear. Loved your input in between, still only getting started! lol btw, love the green, it’ll pay off soon with you on this NF journey. You’ll know what I mean when you get to it. Keep it up ! 👌
It's really hard for me to listen to this song. I get too emotional every time. But I'm loving this series youre doing. My mom passed away from an overdose and this song just hots so close to home. I relate more than you can imagine. He's such a good artist! I'm glad you are getting to know him.
Man, i really enjoy your reactions. The only sad thing is that you don't do a reaction to all songs but go according to some playlist :D I see many YT channels do this, i'm not sure why its not a good idea to go album by album song by song :D so much content for us and also you! :D anyways thanks for this one, this song always brings me to almost full out tears
I skipped on your journey when I saw this one recommended, I usually skip this one completely on other channels but for some reason I decided to watch your reaction to this. Probably because of how much you understand in lyrics and how articulate you are. So having not seen or heard this in a long time, I sobbed tonight. Honestly it brings up so much hurt and pain from my own life that it transforms from Nates story to my own. This song is just so raw. I don’t think there is another song out there that can hit me so hard. Great reaction. When you stopped it and said “F#ck”, that was a simultaneous mirror of me. P.s. I’m sure someone has told you but just in case not, his mom wasn’t a single mom per say but rather had supervised visits with child protection services. Nate and his sisters had their dad (he had his own issues, I think with alcohol) and paternal grandparents. Still wasn’t an ideal or even acceptable situation. Nates moms boyfriend “Johnny “ was who beat him and was one of a couple of reasons why Nates mom lost custody.
I’m a 43 year old man that gets broke down like a double barrel over that last minute of this record Homey... I’ve always said, and shall forever stand by said statement for eternity, Nates superpower is forcing someone, either with their blessing or against their will Lol, to become a super-Empath... like MCU type powers... Idk how he continually does it after all these years, all these albums, all these songs but he dang sure does.... Black Thought has a line n the deified freestyle on Flex where he said “I barbwire my wrist and let it fill/feel (double) the page” and to me that explains what Nate has done over the past 5 albums... idc what Nathaniel says, Clouds IS NOT a mixtape... yes it lacks cohesion throughout but that’s where it stops with similarities of a “Mixtape”... these tracks aren’t B-side tracks hahaha... anyway I rambled long enough... excellent vid as always... waiting on a new one from the “Mixtape” and idk how I missed your reaction to this one.... I haven’t seen them all yet but I have seen the majority and how this one coulda slipped thru the cracks on me the world may never know.... until the next Clouds song reaction, ✌🏼out!!!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts after the song ended. Watching reactions for me is more than just the track itself. I’m always curious to hear how people interpret things, and what it makes them think about, because it gives even more depth and added context to a track or a topic than I’m capable of thinking of on my own. It makes me appreciate artists and tracks even more when I hear other people’s perspectives, and, at times, their own experiences that relate to that particular track. I’m looking forward to your future NF reactions as you see more of the story come together, and how his albums progress from both a stylistic and production standpoint. Keep up the good work man, you’ve got a great thing going!
Thank you for watching! I think we need to come up with a better term for reactions, there's definitely a difference with those who go in depth (not saying I fully count myself in that category yet) but guys like The Third Ernest and Stevie Knight are more like music analysts
I think what amazes me as someone who is a creative is that he continues to walk through the albums and keep continuity between them, almost like one entire concept album that is his body of work, and yet he gets better each album.
I’ve watched probably close to 50 different reactions to this song and I still can’t get through one without crying. My mom passed less than a year ago right after my 26th birthday under similar circumstances and she was only 45
another note, when nate showed his mom the music and she said "this isnt you" imagine how that must feel when he probably feels she doesn't even know him at all because of her life being caught up in the substance. tough man
Some back story for nf is that his mom did leave the family and he lives mostly with his dad. The person taking notes in the corner is a social worker making sure something doesn’t go wrong. One he turns 12 (I think?) you have the ability to go to whatever parent you want to. I saw that you got this wrong, I don’t blame you, I myself have spent an ungodly amount of time with nf.
Hi I’m new here! I just watched you first NF about a 30 mins to an hour ago and then watched half your reaction to mansion, and I was so hoping you would have of reacted to it so I wouldn’t have to wait! You earned a new sub btw!
Now that he is 28... He said he hadn’t made this song... Because he said he has a better understanding of drug abuse. He is a really good guy♥️.... Thank you for reacting too this because it is real🙏🏼
Beautiful reaction my friend really appreciate the work on your setup. Coming from a good place and you know about it, pull the focus on you not the laptop. Keep the amazing work and the image looks super crisp 👌
This is actually the first time I have cried because of this song. Usually my reaction is just: "damn that's sad". Idk this time it just kinda got to me :(. Great reaction bro!
I never got validation from my parents growing up, and that really hurt my mental health. My father skipped my high school graduation. My mom has an addiction problem and she always has to be doing something. I relate to this song a lot. I cry every time I hear it. I have even sent it to my mom for her to hear it
Nate's parents divorced when he was a baby. Mom had custody. She kept bring in losers as boyfriends. The kids were abused by one of the boyfriends and the dad found out and Nate (and his sisters?) went to live with his dad. He also spent a lot of time with his grandparents. Mom seemed to have visitation privilege's but she was a long term prescription pill abuser's until it finally killed her the year Nate graduated from High School.
Great reaction brother! I loved your in-depth post analysis. Some other good ones on this album include: I Just Wanna Know Statement Got You On My Mind Oh Lord Grindin’ ft. Marty
He's such a great artist and I have no idea why he's not widely spoken about in hip hop. Blackeyspeakz has a great video called "The Hopsin's, The NF's, The Logic's" that talks about that.
@@AltSpace facts!! oh thank you for the recommendation, i’ll definitely check it out!! keep up the good work yourself, i truly love your reactions a lot (even tho i’m a little late to this one haha)
@@AltSpace just watched it and woah!! i was blown away by the statement about nf’ fans “they don’t fit in with the rest of the rap fans, just like how nf doesn’t fit in with the rap industry” i totally feel this, thanks again for the recommend
Thank you for giving this track the respect and depth on your breakdown. Honestly your reaction at the end almost made me cry when you talked about having 2 positive role models as parents. I don’t know what that’s like and just hearing you speak on it made me realize that there is a void there that I’ll never fully understand. Just makes me want to be that much better of a father whenever I have kids. Keep up the good work. Honestly I really vibe with your content and would love to chat sometime if you’re open to it just to talk about life and music. Hmu on email or IG @samtarell or samtarell@gmail.com if you’re interested.
This song saved my life my son played it for me when I was at the bottom of a ten year opiate addiction. I saw my kids pain in Nates eyes and voice. I've been clean for two years and a fan ever since.
WOW, that is insane. That truly is the power of music right there, congrats on being clean, you deserve all the happiness in the world ❤
Thanks for sharing and blessing on you and your son
The last section of the song where he's crying out the words... he had kicked everyone out of the studio to do it alone...
I'm honestly not surprised, there hasn't been a track so far where you feel it in this way
@@ervv2905 oops my bad.. i assumed that aside from producer there'd be a couple of people around. Learned something new today 😃!
@@ervv2905 Him and Tommee Profitt are TIGHT.
@@ervv2905 I thought back during this song he was signed with Capitol and had a small team? Unless I’m mistaken. I don’t know. I’m probably wrong.
Listen to Nate by NF. He’s really talking about his whole life in one song
Ya I love that song
He will but he's going through them from the beginning to current. So don't want him to skip so many songs
@@joshuatudgay3053 ya a lot of reactors skip around so they get confused on what's happening because his songs go in order so I'm happy he is doing it this way
Yeah I agree!!
I’ve been on this planet for 44 years and I’ve never heard a song with half the power, emotion, or pain than this.
I'm 64 and I've heard a lot of music in my life, but THIS....THIS is something I never experienced before becoming a huge fan of Nate's music. I have his last four albums on a playlist that put on rotation. I can listen to it for hours on end and I never tire of it. He's one in a billion in my book.
Oh, yeah, this is one of his most personal songs... this one made me cry when I heard it a couple years ago
Super emotional, I was trying so hard not to cry on camera
The line about "this isn't you" its her saying that she isn't being herself not that she is denying his music
No, I think she’s saying “Shut up, this isn’t you, no way” as to praise Nate for his music. Which is why it hits HARDER when he says “couple weeks later, guess you were singing a different tune”.
Basically him stating that she pretends to care, only to turn around to forget the exchange ever happened.
I must bring attention to the part
Talkin' 'bout my music and I brought you some to listen to
You started cryin', tellin' me this isn't you
A couple weeks later, guess you were singin' a different tune
This clearly is saying that his songs were talking about her, and she was saying that wasn't her, but a few weeks later she gave in to the drugs.
NF always uses his perspective even for others' speeches; whenever he says you he's talking about someone else.
Yes he is the second person to not fully hear the line I've watched.
Another way to interpret the line of the conversation with his mom, she's telling him that this is not her. I've seen enough people trying to fight addictions say things this effect; "this isn't who I want to be," "this isn't how I used to be," things like that, usually during a moment of clarity when they want on some level to get help. The wording he uses makes it harder to decipher which context he meant, but based off of the line right after, "I guess a couple weeks later you were singing a different tune," suggests that she had been trying to convince him in some way that the drugs didn't control her.
This song was my introduction to NF and it was a few months after I lost my son to addiction in 2017. The line “I hate the way I remember you” struck me like a ton of bricks. After dealing with my son’s addiction for 6 very long years, it has been very difficult for me to remember the great things about my son. There was so much more to my child than his addiction. One day, I hope I can remember his great personality, his heart of gold, his smile.
I love your reactions and so glad you are going on the NF journey.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm not a mother, nor am I an adult yet but as a child I was forced to grow up. I have lost friends to drugs, suicides, and overall petty arguments. I can't say I understand your pain as we all feel pain in a different way. All I can offer is the thought you're not alone in your pain or way of thinking. I hope you're able to come to peace with your son and accept he was more than his abuse. I think we hold onto the fact they abused drugs as a protection mechanism. Think about it, if we realize that they were more than their addiction, we miss that more. We ten to resent what we don't understand as humans. So in the end, we may resent them more as we can't understand why they turned to drugs even if we saw that sliver of their true personality those couple times when they were sober and happy. I wish you all the luck💜
Remember the bar in a different track when he's said " music raised him more than his parents did"
Yeah, it all makes sense now! 😲😲😲
I saw the title and I was like “How could you leave us here we go” haha. Anyways keep up the good work
I honestly had to take the rest of the night off just to think about how deep this track is, it made me mad grateful for the family I have in my life
@@AltSpace I can relate to the song a little bit because I’m a teenager myself and most of my family has been caught up in drugs or has died from them. Honestly it has shown me where I don’t want to be in life so I will not make the same mistakes. The track is so amazing and very deep tho and I’m glad that you really think about not only this song, but all the songs you react to in depth. My favorite music react channel by far👌
@@kiana8950 I'm sorry that you have to go through that. I'm so glad that people like NF exists so that you have a shoulder to lean on. Thank you for watching and your kind words 🙏
@@AltSpace thank you for everything as well!
If this video gets any dislikes, I'm just not gonna know what to do.
He says what saved him was he has the best Grandparents in the world. Nate's vulnerability and passion set him apart. I feel his music.
your camera is incredible most people with even 44.8k subscribers dont have as good a camera as you
Thank you! I had this camera before I started the channel but I just decided to start using it recently :)
Oh boy this one is so emotionalllll
Bro, it's so DEEP
Makes me cry every time. And of course it has to be one of my favorite songs.
Just if you were wondering NF is my all time favorite singer so..yeah
This was the first song I heard from him and it made me cry, I have loved him ever since
It's truly a beautifully written song but very sombre
Kinda funny how K-pop took a back seat when he discovered nf, and I couldn't complain less.
We still finna go on this Kpop journey though
Zero dislikes. I love this community
Still getting goosebumps by listening to that song... the first time my brother showed me that song I started crying
And yes that's him actually crying at the end and through out the song he was in tears nd everything....i have not come across any other artist or song that shows this emotion these feels its a song I always feel tough to listen to even to this day
"Not sure if I want to know what's about to happen," and yet, I think this is one of the 2 main songs you have to listen to to understand the entire journey. It's tough, man. This song is tough.
Nate has a way of telling his life story in such a great way even if you don't relate to the song you can still enjoy and learn from it except for me I relate in a deep way cuz I have a mom who did the same thing but she is still alive and this song makes me think of what could happen😐so this song is really important to me💗
When he did the last part he send everyone out of the studio
I still fucking cry hearing this. Every time.
This is why Nate has such devoted fans! He does write about real life and his experiences and even if you can’t directly relate to it, you feel how personal it is to him. His music has helped me so much with my emotions and inner struggles as well as relating to my daughters who suffer from depression and anxiety. Love his music and can’t wait to hear what he’s working on!
Imo this is the most emotional song ever. The way it was written, and delivered captures you.
nf's mansion is what hits home for me but love his not just songs but insights to his soul.
His dad was there but he doesn't talk about him a lot. Other than in one of his songs his dad tells him he is proud of him. You are literally listening in on his therapy sessions when you listen to his music.
Man this song is the most impactful one he has ever made 👏
I cry everytime I listen to it. this is the song I relate the most to
NF and Logic are really good friends. NF went on a summer tour with him two years ago
This song gives me chills every time because I can relate. This song describes my life with both parents, both my mom and dad gave in to drugs. My dad died when I was 7 and I haven't seen my mom in 5 years because of drug issues and law enforcement.
I like that your life has not given you the frame of reference to understand some of this song straight up. The social worker in the corner would have been there for his mothers supervised visitation, They would have been raised ward of the state in care. Mum was an addict with a partner that abused NF (Mansion step dad). Addiction takes all you are and all you have before it kills you. I know this story from many sides now and this song says so many things that need to be said. This is the song for children with parents in addiction that can not see what their escape from pain is doing and when/if they do, they can not stop and it destroys them all. It's heartbreaking for everyone involved and so misunderstood because no one wants to talk about it so it only gets more surrounded by shame and the pain just grows.... NF speaks this truth and gives it a voice to end the shame and break the cycle. Addiction hates facing Truth.
Thank you for breaking that down. it's by far his most emotional, I've been reluctant to return to it off camera as I'll just start crying if I listen to it.
After seeing Nate preform a few times, every time he performs this song, he has to have a moment of silence for his mom, despite his sobbing, he still wants to go on. He loves his mother despite it all and he said that in many shows
I like how this song just takes you to deep thought. That’s all of us my guy.. forreal
Fact: NF's real name is "Nathan John Feuerstein"
Having had the opportunity to see NF's Therapy Session tour, I'm pretty the whole room was crying with him as he performed this live. It took a lot for him to perform this song live.
This is the song that made me discover NF and I am grateful that I did he has been my favorite artist since then, I actually heard this song after I lost my grandma a year after the song released, she meant the world to me and when she passed I went into depression and I have been depressed since, and listening to nate's music comforts me, my anxiety used to run my life but nate's music has helped me control it more
This was the first NF song I heard, after floods of tears and just wanting to wrap my arms around him, I had to delve into more of his music. 💔😢
It's heartbreaking, I can't believe it's a true story, I couldn't even imagine what he must of felt!
Yo really a great reaction man!
So since you've heard the song I give you the exact backstory of everything (at least what we know): Nate was born in Saginaw and grew up in Gladwin. His parents divorced when he was young because of his mother's addiction and other things, and he and his sisters went to live with his mom and there was a really weird situation there, with one of their mum's boyfriends who scared them and beat them,as you heard in Mansion (he abused Nate and one of the two sisters). So they moved in with his dad and started having visits with his mom. It was very embarrassing and weird because,as he said in the song, there was this lady sitting in the corner taking notes and writing down everything they said. He didn't even feel that this was his mom but just a weird person they were trying to introduce him to when in reality he should have already been in a relationship with her. Then for a few years in high school or at least for a while he didn't have a relationship with his mom,one of the reasons I think was because the court ordered a social worker to monitor their conversations (I hope that's true, I read about some websites)Then he started having some kind of relationship with her again. He wanted to be there for his mom and he wanted to do something for her,even though he knew he couldn't change her.Then, shortly thereafter, when he was 18, he received a phone call and was told that his mother had died of an overdose. He had seen her two weeks before that.
Nate said that getting older he started seeing life with a more open mind, instead of just what he thinks, he has more empathy and compassion for his mom, and although he doesn't know everything personally about her, he believes she had many things she struggled with inside, and he understands that sometimes people becoming addicted to things because they are running away from something.He was obviously sad when he wrote this song but also angry, he felt all his life like the pills were more important than him, but now he has a different perspective on what happened to his mom
To record the last part where he cries he asked everyone to leave the studio, so he was left alone to "talk to his mom", then they took only the most important parts and put them in the song
Also, I leave you here an old video of him singing an old version of this song
Needed you/how could you leave us
czcams.com/video/JjaVBzlcyMg/video.html
See you at the next video!
I fully feel to this song I lost my mom a year ago this month... to drugs and never really had her in my life
24th time listening to this song and i still teared up, why am i like this
This song makes me cry every time
This makes me cry every time.
I love NFs music you should listen to let you down, why and when I grow up
All coming :) thank you for watching!
@@AltSpace thanks for the good content ! 🙂
If you ever get a chance to watch some of his interviews, he had one earlier this year where they asked him a little bit about How Could You Leave Us and how he's moved forward since. Now he says he's worked through a lot of these emotions and while he doesn't regret making the song, he no longer feels the way he describes here. Basically, he understands a little more that it was about her, not him, and understands that she did love him even though she wasn't able to overcome her addiction. It was honestly really amazing to hear, especially since this song still makes me cry if I'm not in the right headspace to hear it lol
I've been watching since I found your first NF reaction video. I cannot get through this song without crying because I literally lived almost the exact same thing, I just cried watching this at 8:20am lol. My mom was an alcoholic, drug addict, was put in a girls home at an early age and stayed in jail, would trick men to take everything they had and run, fought cops, escaped prison you name it. I was raised by my grandparents since around 8 months, and she signed rights to me over after tricking him into bringing me over to them. I didn't find my real dad and meet him until 21 years old and my real mom caused tons of huge traumatic events moving in and out of my family and doin horrible things. She tried suicide and failed multiple times, I was so angry with her for so long that I don't think hate could even be an accurate description. I held onto that for defense.... one day my ex/friend told me she overdosed at my grandparents house and my grandma found her on the floor dead in the bathroom. All I could do is go across the road on a hill and watch as they wheeled her out on a stretcher and in an ambulance. It took me a year and a half to 2 years to come to terms and break down. I started blaming myself for not reaching out, for not at least trying later on thinking maybe I could have been what kept her here. I've since been able to let the anger I had go and i still have the resentment towards myself..... let's just say my entire life has been pretty dark and painful. I struggled through school dealing with all this and getting picked on, so on top of what pain I was already carrying there was no way out of this mental stuff. But between her and others in my family causing my family to implode and destroy each other I did dedicate myself to never get on or try drugs, my reason to everyone is my real mom gave me the exact picture of who and what I didn't wanna be, so I wanted to become successful no matter how hard it hurt without drugs
I’ve seen drugs take control of my parents and siblings lives. It can be one of the most devastating things to watch from the outside as a child. As you grow and realize what they are doing, or why they are acting a certain way. His anger that later turns into desperation portrays the exact feeling of the child that bares witness to your parents practically killing themselves. They threw theirselves into addictions to seek relief for a temporary fix. Such a hard subject.
One of my favorite NF lyrics has gotta be "I ain't gonna say that I forgive you cause it hasn't happened." The reality and struggle of that... Not forgiving someone you love and needed and not even having them around to be able to have that conversation and work on forgiveness with. That shit is unimaginable to me. That pain... Oof.
I'm thinking his Dad is actually the one who raised him. If you notice, even before the scene with the Social Worker, he talks about her calling to say she's "not coming," then there's the scene with the SW. SW's are usually sent for visitations that the absent parent has with the kids. Also, he makes a comment that "I'm in a room with a parent I don't barely know." Leaving me to believe that she's hardly ever around. Also, he says in another line, about his Mom, "you don't know me that well." I found some info online about him that says his Mother raised him and his siblings for awhile before his Dad had to take the children away due to the abuse of the kids by his Mother's boyfriend. I'm assuming his Dad them from that time on. Anyway...I appreciate your insightful and wise analysis of the song. HIs music is just incredible!
Wow thank you for the insight, his backstory is super interesting!
The crazy part about this song is the lyrics hit the same way for different situations. My dad left when I was young and the chorus resonates with me. I used to think it was my fault and I always wanted answers as to why he did it.
The story is sad.
His dad is around. He will get to his dad... and his moms boyfriend Johnny. At different points. Him and his dad have had ups and downs but it’s much better now
back at it again with another one dude, i have already been on this journey but i am reliving it through your videos
I love your reactions and breakdowns to NF, some of the best I've seen. You put so much actual insight and substance into the videos and I look forward to watching as you go along the journey. Thank you.
Really insightful reaction as always! Glad you did this one man, it’s so important for the journey. Also super good to see you’re going in order 🙌🏻 hype for whichever song is next!
Watched the entire thing man. Appreciate you.
Great reaction as usual bro. Subbed after your first NF reaction. I really like your perspectives on everything, especially NF. The line about his mom is saying "this isn't you" is to directed towards Nate and his music. She's telling Nate this isn't her, when it 100% is. She's lying to herself because of her addiction to pills.
Love your introspective breakdown on this song. I don’t listen to this song anymore EXCEPT when I watch someone react to it for the first time. And I cry damn near every time. Also grateful I’ve never had to go through any of this in my personal life.
Man this one still gets me. NF one of the greatest
I loved your insight and reflection you gave. Gained a new fan here
Yesss my guy, safe for the shout out, loving the NF vids, keep up the grind man, you going places trust me
Also happy birthday to whomever is 6
I really loved your review and opinion on the end. A lot of youtuber just shortly comment on wheater they liked it or not but you went deep. Keep that up👍🏽
This reaction is the best I've seen to this song! You really tried to dissect this song and divulge what you could in relation to NFs struggles.
This song still to this day makes me cry. (I know I'm a man but we cry whether some choose to admit it or not; there's nothing wrong with it). His story... his past, really hits home with me; his story really correlates with that of my own and i really feel his words.
Please keep this reactions 100! They are the best out here!
This song just makes me want to give Nate a hug. ;_;
Another Algoment, keep up on the journey. I hope NF drops an new album in perfect time for your final Search reaction
Keep the journey rolling... loving it, keep it up
I really love your channel and NF reactions! I’m going to subscribe because of this reaction alone. I relate so much to Nate, it’s hard to even really describe how much I feel I understand him, especially with this song. My mom was addicted to opiates and fentanyl, as well as other hard pain killers for about 16 years of my life. My father is a very bad alcoholic, and my aunt has been addicted to heroin since she was 14. I’ve been surrounded my addicts since I was about 4; luckily my mom didn’t die and she is actually sober nowadays, but my dad and aunt are not. It was very hard living through it; most things I tell people about the type of abuse and neglect I’ve lived through they find hard to believe. It’s hard for me to realize that my childhood and the majority of my life is abnormal. I appreciated your analysis of this song if you can call it that, and really discussing the topic at hand. My heart goes out to Nate, I can imagine the type of pain hes been through. His music is very touching and dear to me.
When I got the notification for this I was like yes! then remembered it hurts like hell every time. I have the same story.. I still can’t make it through that ending of him crying his heart out without shedding a tear. Loved your input in between, still only getting started! lol btw, love the green, it’ll pay off soon with you on this NF journey. You’ll know what I mean when you get to it. Keep it up ! 👌
OMW YES IVE BEEN CHECKING YOUR CHANNEL FOR DAYS WAITING FOR THIS VIDEO
Thanks for tuning in!
This song helped me in the midst of an opiate addiction. Im 16 months sober now.
Congratulations
@@harleycollins6627 Thank you so much!
Hey Alt nice to see you again. This song I can relate to so much cause this happened to my mom
It's really hard for me to listen to this song. I get too emotional every time. But I'm loving this series youre doing. My mom passed away from an overdose and this song just hots so close to home. I relate more than you can imagine. He's such a good artist! I'm glad you are getting to know him.
Man, i really enjoy your reactions. The only sad thing is that you don't do a reaction to all songs but go according to some playlist :D I see many YT channels do this, i'm not sure why its not a good idea to go album by album song by song :D so much content for us and also you! :D anyways thanks for this one, this song always brings me to almost full out tears
I skipped on your journey when I saw this one recommended, I usually skip this one completely on other channels but for some reason I decided to watch your reaction to this. Probably because of how much you understand in lyrics and how articulate you are. So having not seen or heard this in a long time, I sobbed tonight. Honestly it brings up so much hurt and pain from my own life that it transforms from Nates story to my own. This song is just so raw. I don’t think there is another song out there that can hit me so hard. Great reaction. When you stopped it and said “F#ck”, that was a simultaneous mirror of me.
P.s. I’m sure someone has told you but just in case not, his mom wasn’t a single mom per say but rather had supervised visits with child protection services. Nate and his sisters had their dad (he had his own issues, I think with alcohol) and paternal grandparents. Still wasn’t an ideal or even acceptable situation. Nates moms boyfriend “Johnny “ was who beat him and was one of a couple of reasons why Nates mom lost custody.
He hits different
I’m a 43 year old man that gets broke down like a double barrel over that last minute of this record Homey... I’ve always said, and shall forever stand by said statement for eternity, Nates superpower is forcing someone, either with their blessing or against their will Lol, to become a super-Empath... like MCU type powers... Idk how he continually does it after all these years, all these albums, all these songs but he dang sure does.... Black Thought has a line n the deified freestyle on Flex where he said “I barbwire my wrist and let it fill/feel (double) the page” and to me that explains what Nate has done over the past 5 albums... idc what Nathaniel says, Clouds IS NOT a mixtape... yes it lacks cohesion throughout but that’s where it stops with similarities of a “Mixtape”... these tracks aren’t B-side tracks hahaha... anyway I rambled long enough... excellent vid as always... waiting on a new one from the “Mixtape” and idk how I missed your reaction to this one.... I haven’t seen them all yet but I have seen the majority and how this one coulda slipped thru the cracks on me the world may never know.... until the next Clouds song reaction, ✌🏼out!!!
The video I’ve been waiting for
Eyyyyy
Thanks for sharing your thoughts after the song ended. Watching reactions for me is more than just the track itself. I’m always curious to hear how people interpret things, and what it makes them think about, because it gives even more depth and added context to a track or a topic than I’m capable of thinking of on my own. It makes me appreciate artists and tracks even more when I hear other people’s perspectives, and, at times, their own experiences that relate to that particular track. I’m looking forward to your future NF reactions as you see more of the story come together, and how his albums progress from both a stylistic and production standpoint. Keep up the good work man, you’ve got a great thing going!
Thank you for watching! I think we need to come up with a better term for reactions, there's definitely a difference with those who go in depth (not saying I fully count myself in that category yet) but guys like The Third Ernest and Stevie Knight are more like music analysts
I think what amazes me as someone who is a creative is that he continues to walk through the albums and keep continuity between them, almost like one entire concept album that is his body of work, and yet he gets better each album.
I’ve watched probably close to 50 different reactions to this song and I still can’t get through one without crying. My mom passed less than a year ago right after my 26th birthday under similar circumstances and she was only 45
So sorry to hear that, I hope you're doing okay 🙏❤️
This song is so much sadder now knowing he's about to have a son.
another note, when nate showed his mom the music and she said "this isnt you" imagine how that must feel when he probably feels she doesn't even know him at all because of her life being caught up in the substance. tough man
I just found this. I'm here for the NF journey.
Glad you could join us :)
Some back story for nf is that his mom did leave the family and he lives mostly with his dad. The person taking notes in the corner is a social worker making sure something doesn’t go wrong. One he turns 12 (I think?) you have the ability to go to whatever parent you want to. I saw that you got this wrong, I don’t blame you, I myself have spent an ungodly amount of time with nf.
Hi I’m new here! I just watched you first NF about a 30 mins to an hour ago and then watched half your reaction to mansion, and I was so hoping you would have of reacted to it so I wouldn’t have to wait! You earned a new sub btw!
Now that he is 28... He said he hadn’t made this song... Because he said he has a better understanding of drug abuse. He is a really good guy♥️.... Thank you for reacting too this because it is real🙏🏼
He seems like he has such a good heart, thank you for watching, I appreciate it
Excited to see your reaction to this one. Ok. Going back to the video now. Lol
Thank you!
Beautiful reaction my friend really appreciate the work on your setup. Coming from a good place and you know about it, pull the focus on you not the laptop. Keep the amazing work and the image looks super crisp 👌
This is actually the first time I have cried because of this song. Usually my reaction is just: "damn that's sad". Idk this time it just kinda got to me :(. Great reaction bro!
Fire🔥🔥
I never got validation from my parents growing up, and that really hurt my mental health. My father skipped my high school graduation. My mom has an addiction problem and she always has to be doing something. I relate to this song a lot. I cry every time I hear it. I have even sent it to my mom for her to hear it
Nate's parents divorced when he was a baby. Mom had custody. She kept bring in losers as boyfriends. The kids were abused by one of the boyfriends and the dad found out and Nate (and his sisters?) went to live with his dad. He also spent a lot of time with his grandparents. Mom seemed to have visitation privilege's but she was a long term prescription pill abuser's until it finally killed her the year Nate graduated from High School.
Great reaction brother! I loved your in-depth post analysis. Some other good ones on this album include:
I Just Wanna Know
Statement
Got You On My Mind
Oh Lord
Grindin’ ft. Marty
Glad you did this one! Love how you break everything down. Keep it up!
Also, you have other social media?
You said in one of your last videos, you wanted to hear a slow song. You skipped Paralyzed. Thats a great one.
Didn’t even have to put the song name in the title I knew it the second I saw nfs most emotional song 🖤
this is the reaction i've been waiting for!! this song gets me every single time i listen to it; an emotional masterpiece
This honestly caught me off guard! I started crying when I turned the camera off
@@AltSpace oof :(( nf's honesty has gotten me to tears multiple times as well
He's such a great artist and I have no idea why he's not widely spoken about in hip hop. Blackeyspeakz has a great video called "The Hopsin's, The NF's, The Logic's" that talks about that.
@@AltSpace facts!! oh thank you for the recommendation, i’ll definitely check it out!! keep up the good work yourself, i truly love your reactions a lot (even tho i’m a little late to this one haha)
@@AltSpace just watched it and woah!! i was blown away by the statement about nf’ fans “they don’t fit in with the rest of the rap fans, just like how nf doesn’t fit in with the rap industry” i totally feel this, thanks again for the recommend
Thank you for giving this track the respect and depth on your breakdown. Honestly your reaction at the end almost made me cry when you talked about having 2 positive role models as parents. I don’t know what that’s like and just hearing you speak on it made me realize that there is a void there that I’ll never fully understand. Just makes me want to be that much better of a father whenever I have kids.
Keep up the good work. Honestly I really vibe with your content and would love to chat sometime if you’re open to it just to talk about life and music. Hmu on email or IG @samtarell or samtarell@gmail.com if you’re interested.