Meanwhile... Kris Jenner Wants To Freeze Kendall's Eggs | Ritz-Oreo Collab Isn't For Sale
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- čas přidán 3. 06. 2024
- Meanwhile... Stephen volunteers to eat an exciting new innovation from the world of snack food, and TV mom Kris Jenner wants to make sure that the next generation of her family keeps expanding. #Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - Zábava
I would a THOUSAND TIMES rather be Hemsworthed or Skarsgarded than Kardashianed.
...and im a straight guy. Still 100% on this one.
Hell, i would even have that roadside stuffed hot dog before i ever consider being Kardashianed
Yrah that makes sense.
Same.😏
Amen
The fact that Stephen couldn’t get through the MEANWHILE without laughing at it speaks volumes for the writers and explains the awards the show keeps winning! Love love love this show!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Best laugh of the month.
Really
Read
I think that is a record number of his crackups for one segment.
I really want an illustration inset beside him, updated every second.
Between the hot dog filler, the beer-urine, and the Ritz-Oreo, I am happy to say I am back on my diet and off food indefinitely.
The 'No Food' diet. Should get the job done.
Shouldn't that be back on food and off junk?
To be fair I don't think any of those things are actually food. 😂
That's why I stick to Hebrew National.
None of those things are food dude.
The writers who do the intro to Meanwhile, deserve an Emmy.
Definitely, I’m also impressed with how seamlessly Colbert gets through it each time.
@@jhollybee3946 It really is very impressive.
EPIC! This was the best one yet!!!!!
The cavalry comes in many forms. Sometimes it's Gandalf leading the Rohirrim.
Other times it's a topless, breastfeeding woman. You! Shall not! Take my goose!
So we must not forget that a wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.
Freeze her eggs
@@Omni0404 There's a joke about when a topless woman comes in there....
That baby is never gonna out-chill mama!
We chase bears off that way as well.
"Sweet Crisco caulk!"😳🤣🤣
I'm dying
The best description of Oreo "cream" ever! Sweet Crisco caulk, indeed!
However, Stephen should have prevented the size issue by suggesting we use mini-Oreos with the Ritz bits. Or regular-sized peanut-butter Ritz with the regular-sized Oreos.
Considering he had to blur a plant shaped like a penis, I'm surprised he was allowed to say "caulk" without getting bleeped.
I’m glad you spelled that out
I'm here for the breastfeeding mom fighting off an apex predator ❤️✊
As a viewer of Late Night with Seth Meyers, I can attest that Timmy never fell down the well
I was thinking the same thing 😂
He was pushed.
Found the Jackals!
Jackal spotted outside of containment.
👏🐾
I would willingly trade our Kardashians for just about anything.
That’s called slavery
I'd even trade them for some salty sweet hog anus :P
@@mikeximenez5285 no, it's called good taste.
Absolutely !! The whole family needs to just fade away.
I would trade all the Kardashians for a single pack of peanuts.
He put some freaking EFFORT into those pronunciations. What a man of the world.
What a man of, a shadow of what he once was! Every time I see it, makes me feel bad, not for him, but his family.
BUT!
I guess they'll get the money once he's compost.
So nevermind!
Exactly! Steven is so cultured and sophisticated. I respect him so much.
Esp after Two rounds of covid 💖🌹
I wonder if the second half is a mad lib he does with the audience… ?
@@D38AS3R he hasn't changed at all idk what ur talking about
Sweet Crisco Calk!!! That was hilarious!!! 😂😂😂
You know Timmy never got stuck in a well. Learned that on Corrections
A Timmy did. Just not from a show. 😈
Me too! I watch all three hosts!
That woman could teach a few things to the Uvalde police in Texas.
Go away bot! 👆
@@gretebremseth1622 Texas Department of Public Safety Col. Steven McCraw: "We believe there should have been an entry as soon as you can," McCraw continued …"Where I'm sitting now, of course it was not the right decision. It was the wrong decision, period. There's no excuse for that."
She's way too brave for the Ulvalde PD.
Although, being Texans, they probably agree with her being home, barefoot, and near Pregnant...
@@tsubadaikhan6332 Yep. And now that her child is out of the womb they don’t give a damn what happens to it.
"Sweet crisco caulk" Best description of the filling in an Oreo I've ever heard.
I’m in tears 🤣🤣🤣 about Stephen getting so tickled about the Crisco Caulk 🤣🤣🤣
Jon's home with Covid, guys. Prayers to him and his wife. 🙏💕🙏
I was wondering
He’s working on The Color Purple before he comes back!
@@jcoopes5604 Wow, that's awesome! The man's a machine, a well oiled one. Thanks for keeping everyone posted.👍
What's the point of being the temporary band leader of a Late Night show if you can't bring your friends on to get them some exposure on a national broadcast and an extra paycheck from a network? Good on ya, Louis!
I have a feeling it's not so temporary.
@@ruckusrevolution9475 Well, we do know Jon's gonna be gone for a chunk of the summer filming his part of "The Color Purple".
@@silentjay01 I love Jon, but I'm starting to love Louis too. Maybe it's his time to shine!
You missed the callback to dip the oreo fusion in the hotdog slurry, then wash it all down with a urine beer!🤢
That sounds like a nightmare!! 🤢
LOL......and EWWW!
Save all that for the holiday barbq.
And don't forget to buy a mattress at the sales!
Ah yes, a memorial day tradition.
Ahh, the road not taken…
I’d gladly take one Helmsworth or Sarsgaard over all the Kardashians that have ever been or will be.
Or or or...
We do away with reality shows altogether. I really don't find humans interesting.
As a Canadian: Of course that last story happened in Canada!
Why would Canadians watch this show?
@@billfoster5257 Same reason I watch it in Norway! 😆
@@billfoster5257
The whole world loves to laugh at the US mess.
Because Alberta is our Texas without the numerous guns, our infant formula is breastfeeding when possible and we support our mothers so they have time to save the goose while breastfeeding. We haven’t yet talked about building a wall to keep your gangs and guns out because good neighbours don’t erect tall walls and they include u in neighbours. We laugh with u too at the funny things and cry at the loss of life and hope the availability of guns particularly assault guns stay south.
Such a Canadian goose...."sorry, sorry, sorry Tim Hortons" indeed 😅
I love how involved in the culture of the show the band is.
Gotta love that Meanwhile preamble, builds up the tension lol
@@donofon101 As a once upon a time auctioneer, I find his mental dexterity in avoiding stumbling on hard to smoothly transition unfamiliar sounds more than entertaining. With a bit of work on his breathing techniques so he doesn't falsetto float his words, and he can have something to fall back on if this gig as a comic falls through. 😉
@@donofon101 "Relax. Want some nitrous oxide?" It was tongue - in - cheek. I really doubt he'll have to fall back on anything, ever. It wasn't a rant to anyone who hasn't had their funny bone removed.
@@tinkerstrade3553 Perhaps he meant, the content of the Meanwhile intro rant? Which I find pretty tedious, and so always skip, as well.
Now I want a full compilation of these Meanwhile intros :))))
Hats off to the PI YING reference in the beginning, the intros to meanwhile has not boundaries, well done writers and Stephen!
Seriously, I laughed so hard at this piece that as I type this I am still catching my breath! Haven't laughed this hard in quite a while. THANK YOU! It has left me feeling so good right now. Spot on delivery by Stephen Colbert and top notch writing by his team! Exactly why I keep coming back for more. Keep it up and keep going deeper when you can. ALWAYS spot on the point. Respect to Kimmel and Fallon but your team hits harder. We need more of that!
AND... Like number 444. LOL
This sketch (my favorite the show) is very similar to Weekend Update from SNL. I don't know if you've already seen it, but if not you will probably like it!
I now have so many new phrases to yell when I next get upset! 🤣
unbalanced manic sock puppet tone poems are my jam.
The writers.. love ALL the openings for Meanwhile.
That breastfeeding mama was not playing!! 😂
nah you can tell it's in Canada cause she didn't run out with an AR-15
C-A-U-L-K!!!!
"Crisco...caulk!"
So, “hotdog filler” is now transported by warm truck to the intestine factory? Wow just when I thought they couldn’t get any scarier lol
This has been my favorite of all meanwhiles. I'm dying 🤣🤣🤣
Haven't had a hot dog in years and now I remember why
And or___ and or___ and or___ and or___ and on and on and on... yeah, reading the ingredients can turn one off.
Yea. I quit after reading The Jungle in high school.
With no John with the band right now, what a collection of wicked awesome musicians 🎉 loving the guests
I'm starting to think the writers have a vendetta against Stephen and they will not be satisfied until he breaks
Too be fair… I’m Canadian and I call them gooses “cobra chickens” (also I didn’t make that up) I can hear them honking over my head now. They are not nice nor Majestic 🇨🇦
Back in elementary school when we were learning our plural forms of animals we concluded that moose should be infact meese. We're in Minnesota.
And a snake is a "nope-rope." And a racoon is a "trash panda."
I hereby propose that all Kardashian eggs be pickled, rather than frozen. We need less of that family around, not more.
You're forgetting the sperm of the one son (and he's beak ready sprogged too)
Bird chasing, breast feeding moms, for the win!
One day the "I sometimes do the monologue, and sometimes I do the 'Meanwhile"" introduction will be ten minutes long and they have no time for the actual news.
Yup… this was kind of an exception. An exception in that usually when the intro tirade is this long, the Meanwhile segment is usually only 3 tales long. This one was pretty well packed with meanwhile’s
I genuinely miss the much briefer intro’s when the segment was new/new-ish; now they are so drawn out and intricate that I often lose track of the overall punchline halfway through
Meanwhile, this comment of mine is also drawn out 😅😓
Haters gonna hate…
Seriously. The video didn't start until 3 minutes into the video.
@@zuko8312 seriously, you’re missing the whole fucking point… Your life must be so shallow… as David Crosby would say, deep as a bird bath…
Does Budweiser plan to file suit against the brewing company for stealing company secrets? 😆
OK, seriously? At whatever time Colbert calls this show quits, Please release a compilation of these Meanwhile introductions. These have become, and have long remained, a breathtaking art form, more than capable of standing all on its own.
Especially tonight's. Not to forget the quarantinewhiles!
Sorry not a fan of those, I always skip them.
Dude went oriental on the meanwhile!! 10 out of 10
Fun fact: Some portion of all drinking water is recycle piss.
Always has been!
Mmm...
all water has been recycled from the begining of time. We are drinking dino piss
Olaf said the same thing on frozen 2.
As my middle school science teacher put it, "We all drink the piss of dinosaurs."
I'm pretty sure my well is Piss free, (T-Rex and all)
Sad. Between Stephen saying the ritz-oreos wouldnt be sold & the undiagnosed depression joke I was thinking I should get a pack of both & try it. I'm currently depressed & technically undiagnosed.
Please consider seeking out help. If cost is a concern, you might be able to find counseling that charges on a sliding scale by income.
Also, after I heard about this promotion I indeed went to the store and purchased regular Oreos, regular Ritz, and....peanut butter Oreos. The combination of all 3 was a challenge. I'm actually enjoying the pb Oreos on their own the most.
CZcams knows all, and it has officially diagnosed you as funny and depressed. It's what's left of the American dream I think.
One of the best meanwhiles ever. Thank you, Stephen. God bless you, sir.
PRAYING GOD BLESS EVERYONE AND EVERYONE'S FAMILIES AND LOVE ONES!
5:06 diagnosed depression works just as well in that recipe
The dog suit 😂😂😂😂
Are we sure the hot dog filler couldn’t have moved off the road all on its own? 😳
Is that a new Pez dispenser?
Nah, it’s new Oreo-Ritz dispenser. Just lift the tail.
I cried when I heard "sweet Crisco caulk!" I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Then I heard "salty sweet hog anus!" And now I think I have to go to the hospital.
BC person here, man that eagle is so lucky that lady showed up. that devil snake is Canada's one true apex predator. Neigh Immortal they are!
Do you mean... "Nay"?
Unless it makes a sound like a horse, in which case I've got nothing ;-)
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 Nigh. As in, The Tick is mighty and nigh-invulnerable.
@@markstyles1246 Ah, yes. I see it now.
Lewis killed me after he said "oh god" right after Stephen's "salty sweet hog anus!" 🤣
Just needs to add some of that sweet crisco calk to it. 😁😁
"Salty sweet hog anus" is one of the most random quotes I have ever read. 🤣
@@hawkeye5955 How about "hickory smoked horse buttholes" ? Seems someone on Colbert's writing staff must have seen Here Comes Dr. Tran. 😜
Lewis is really doing well rising to the challenge of being band leader and Stephen's comedy straight man.
@@MonkeyJedi99 Agree 💯, he's terrific!
I love how cultured Steven is, and how he puts effort into learning how to pronounce foreign names and words. I respect him so much.
...while tripping over up the pronunciation of the English word gradation in the same sentence :-)
@@SpeckleKen welp, that was fair enough!
That's new. Seems like someone on his staff reads comments and is counseling him: he usually butchers Spanish and Portuguese words, sometimes Italian. He's learning though. In a recent meanwhile his Spanish pronunciation was spot on.
Lassie and Timmy will never go out of style. What's that Lassie, Timmy fell down a well?...LOL
I'd rather be from a country that is known for saying sorry than a country that is known for school shootings 🇨🇦
Once gun control goes through, the US will become known for school bombings instead.
@@devlinmorin7615 lol... because every country in the world that doesn't just hand out guns like it's candy has bombs everywhere right?
@@DB-sm6eu America will. Other countries lack the American thirst for death and destruction.
The reason they're giving away those strange cookie crackers is because they aren't sure if people would really buy them....
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm gonna start saying that SWEET CRISCO CAULK. OMG THIS WAS THE BEST MEANWHILE
I don't think big S gets enough credit for the dedication he puts into his monologue before meanwhile, such a tongue twisted
Not gonna lie... I have a deep love for anyone brave enough to run outside naked, holding a baby latched to yer tit, and ready to fight a wild card non-typical adversary that could literally react in any variety of ways for any unknown reason... all in one go. Throwing her own defenseless and exposed flesh forward into the unknown with no real plan of or way to attack without being wounded in order to protect both her friend and, presumably, her child along the way. At a glance this seems like a simple act, but I've seen enough of humanity in times of crisis and trauma to know that her actions were not, by far, a typical response to a threat. That is one brave lady. Respect.
She wasn't defenseless, she could have easily thrown the baby. I'd be more impressed if she went out there without endangering her kid in favor of saving Christmas dinner.
The Bush administration adapted that fighting style and called it, 'shock and awe'.
You should meet my ex... sometimes there just isn't enough vodka.
@@chia_pet7121 what mentalist... funny tho
@@imdawolfman2698 go take your pills old man
That's a mother.
".. and the driver just jumps out! Hopefully."
And that's why I check every hotdog I eat for rings.
It's partly why i only eat vegetarian frankfurts. Or better still, none at all.
That baby sure was latched on and couldn't be released. So the mom had no choice but to chase the eagle barebreasted with baby in tow. It's amazing the suction power babies have.😄😄😄
Lol
PSA: The real Meanwhile starts at 3:10
You wrong as hell. But funny as hell in all the right ways, Stephen. Diabolical genius! This has flow.
Just tried Stephen's cookie recipe.
You can't taste the Ritz AT ALL. If you eat it Ritz-side-down, there's a hint of salt. That's it.
You obviously aren't depressed enough.
I am seriously concerned about your mental health. Are you okay? There is help you can get. Please don't be afraid to get in touch with a therapist. You are loved. You don't need to be destroying yourself in such a gruesome manner
@@danreyn 😆
Best Meanwhile intro ever, which is saying a lot!
And is it just me, or was that also one of the best Meanwhiles ever?! Sides hurt. Bravo!
I'm so excited that singapore made it to Meanwhile! We've been recycling and purifing sewer water for years (New Water) to supplement our water supply as we don't have natural resources 😀 They just decided to use it to make beer recently 🤷♀️
Imposter, everyone knows a TRUE Canadian Bald Eagle cry goes "Sorry, sorry, sorry Eh! Tim Hortons!" That one's an illegal bird immigrant!
I have been watching way too much Trailer Park Boys for this shit lol. Dyin rn.... all I can think of is the shit eagles taking Lahey off into the sky 🤣🤣🤣
I was eating a snack until he mentioned dipping the Ritz-Oreo into the hot dog ooze.
Gag......that pink slime on the highway reminded me of whale guts that I saw on some old documentary of a whale being butchered on a whale boat. But I keep buying hotdogs. Psychologically it must be summed up as "out of sight, out of mind".
Prayers for John Baptiste and family, may they recover quickly.
Am I the only one who hates Meanwhile introductions?
I never have liked them, and who knew that the writers LOVE them? Thank YT for the double-tap FF.
The British do have a term for it: To get on the piss, or getting on the piss, refers to the act of drinking alcoholic beverages, most typically with friends, and getting heavily intoxicated. (Urban Dictionary)
Is that because beer makes people pee more?
Aussies have that too.
@@winxclubstellamusa Don’t know. Perhaps because they look similar.
'Meanwhile', American "pissed" is much different than UK "pissed". I have no idea, it's a few generations old before my grand-father was even born.
It's all a big maybe and I have no degrees in that stuff, but maybe it's from how whiskey is said to make people mad. Just guessing.
Now explain why "take the piss" doesn't correlate
:: I vote for having a book of all the Meanwhile introductions!!!! :) ::
I love Stephens into to Meanwhile, so creative.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: the second part of the Meanwhile intro often sounds unnervingly like a series of lyrics from a Tom Waits song.
Thoughts?
I enjoy watching the 'Meanwhile' segments, but I always fast-forward till I see the title so I don't have to hear the intro
The intros alone are an entire university of comedy-writing. The man is a lunatic! Genius.
That was no hotdog slurry, that was Tetsuo back for revenge!
"Sorry, sorry, sorry... Tim Hoorrrtonsssss!" 😄🍁
A Hemsworth-Skarsgard spitroast does not sound like a threat, more like a reward if people's celebrity opinions are to be believed.
It's OK for some
For women? Yes.
Something, something sweet Oreo caulk
I finally found out what's happening to John Baptiste. I'm SO glad he didn't leave the show, as seeing new band members made my think he REALLY had left.
I wish him all the best in his recovery, I'm currently also recovering from covid, it fucking sucks.
Much love and positive energy going your way, Sir! We do miss you
I had tickets to his symphony premiere at Carnegie Hall a few weeks ago and it was postponed the night before. Several of the musicians in his orchestra also got sick during tech rehearsals leading up to it.
I volunteer as tribute for being Hemsworthed at one end while Skarsgarded from the other!
"There's hamburger all over the Highway in Mystic Connecticut" Fire Sign Theater
I was waiting for the obligatory FST reference...
Damn this one was kinky. First drinking piss beer (watersports are quite fun!)... then the Japanese furry who just out-furried all other furries. Good on him!
This whole segment makes me stop and say: Dear lord, what are we _eating?_
Also: I could please go the rest of my life without hearing any more about the Jen/Kars. Don't care. Never did care. Never will care.
I'm SURE that's "Sweet Crisco Caulk," get your mind out of the gutter and into the salt...😎
After walking in & catching the guy from Atlanta playing the Sax [on America’s Got Talent] catching his story, & my stone cold heart sitting in awe just thinking: “OMG if this kid could work with Baptiste & Colbert, wouldn’t that just be INCREDIBLE!!” So, left it here. Love the guest musicians & American Utopia was outstanding!
Stephen will be remembered well into the future. Amazing combination of intellect, humanity and religious belief. Genius
Lmao. You can’t put genius and religion into the same sentence. Those aren’t in the same space.
Holy sweet Crisco caulk! For a moment I thought he was dead. What a relief.😁
Why do you have to pee so much when you're drinking beer?
Cuz it doesn't have to stop and change color! 😆
Bless Stephen! He makes it through the meanwhile intro and then chokes on Crisco Caulk🤣. Oh wait...
Hello Angie 👋 How are you doing ?
Serves that eagle right for thinking she let her guard down.
CauLk... There's an l in there, folks... Caulk.
I thought when he said at the 2nd time he would stress that harder. But he didn't lol
@@LindaC616 I love that he doubled down after realizing his slip. 😂
@@stefanhoimes 😆
I have had the newBrew beer in Singapore, it’s actually delicious. Singapore is a world leader in water treatment technology. I hope more people pay attention to what they’re accomplishing.
It's an amusing story, but yeah, we shouldn't downplay the significance of the underlying technology. Improvements in efficiency and purity of water treatment aren't trivial.
I don't trust the humans on their jobs of keeping things running in optimal conditions.
That guy saying "oh God" in the background made me laugh longer. 😂
Love your ramblings Stephen 😂🤣😁
We've got a snack called Ritz Crackers Choc Flavoured Sandwich here in Australia but no mention of Oreos. They come in Vanilla too. Not bad... sweet and salty.
G'day M8
Eww, have we? I mustn't check that out!
I saw some "Fudge covered Ritz" on the shelves here in Canada a few months back. Didn't try them though.
Try asking for “black caulk” at Home Depot.
...either way you get something to fill yer crack.
what? Okay, fine... I'll leave on my own accord, no need to get handsy.
Moneymaking opportunity for elderly Kris!
8:02 I’m sure Josh will complete the questionnaire “in a snap”
I can believe that someone who would willingly keep a goose as a pet would run out nearly naked, barefoot, and holding a baby to fight off an eagle.
The protective instinct is strong with this one, and covers many.
This woman is my spirit animal.
Pets are family, too.
@@chrisrj9871 And the goose knew it, too. Look how he knew it was OK to run back into the house to safety while she was after the eagle
@@LindaC616 - I never thought I'd find a grown-ass goose adorable! LOL