Revamp your sex life in 6 minutes | Ruth Ramsay | TEDxDaltVila
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- čas přidán 10. 07. 2023
- Is there a simple mindset shift that can radically improve our sex lives? One which can apply whatever our circumstances, experience or preferences? Yes! Sex coach Ruth Ramsay shares this shift, and how its ramifications go way beyond increasing our pleasure. Ruth Ramsay is an adult sex educator and coach. She helps people understand who they are sexually, how their bodies and minds work, what they need and desire, and how to communicate that. Her style is upbeat, shame-free and pleasure-led.
Ruth holds a coaching diploma backed with vast life experience. She won an Erotic Award for campaigning for the sexual rights of people with disabilities; was a striptease artist for 14 years; teaches exotic dance; and has been a sex journalist, activist and more. Her mission is for sexual energy to be recognised as a force for good. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Variety with a partner you love and respect can bring you to a level of trust and excitement unimaginable.
God, I wish I'd heard this talk when my wife was still alive and healthy. I would have shared this with her and could have helped us avoid so much emotional pain.
God bless you brother
You’ll see her when your time is right and you can have a conversation with her. Keep your chin up ! use this energy and see if there’s something else with someone.
For the hobby method to work. Both partners have to have, a reasonable level of interest already. I’m many relationships, one partner will try anything, the other won’t even talk about it.
Amen!!
Sounds like incompatibility to me!
@@grote__juliasounds like 3 kids and 20 years together to me...
@@hanspersson9451 seems like that long together would lead to better communication skills!
@@grote__julia That too is something that requires a mutual interest. Life sometimes gets complicated along the way.
I took Ruth's course a few months ago then had a 1:1 session recently and it has simply been life changing. I feel so connected with my husband of 18 years but also much happier and fulfilled in other areas of life - family, work, friendships. Thank you Ruth xxx
Thank you @PriscilaHancock - it's been my honour to help.
I am absolutely looking up her course material.
Thanks!
How appropriate- I hit the 69th like.
❤❤❤
She literally said nothing
The best and more natural advices on this topic I´ve ever heard in my life!!
Thank you! I'm pleased you enjoyed it.
I love how the idea of asking our partner what they feel interested in doing the day in their hobby takes all the expectations away I might have on my partner and keeping it simple! Well said.
Nice pic I bet you keep your partner happy
Completely agree with you...even Without changing our partner we may play better if we slightly change our priority👍
Mae West said, "if I got married, I'd have to give up my hobby." I expected this talk to be more like that.
I know someone who's treated it like this for a long time, he and his polycule are some of the most open people about their needs I've ever known, and that goes far beyond their 'play'. Their levels of communication and respect for boundaries is phenomenal, if someone isn't in the mindset to handle something in the moment they understand how to handle that and return to the topic when they're better grounded for it.
Nothing is completely off limits as long as it's approached respectfully and calmly. It's amazing being around people who truly are comfortable with sharing everything about themselves with their partners, it's a thing worth working toward for anyone in a relationship where that level of intimacy is avaliable.
Polycule? Really? Did you just get that on Wordle and had to look it up, and now you have to use it every chance you get? FFS 🤦♂️
Great to hear. Poly people and kink people tend to be super-hot on communication, openness and enthusiastic consent. The mainstream world could learn so much from them!
@@ruthramsay_ Absolutely Agree!
That's been my experience being on the fringes of both communities too. The level of interest they expect before engaging in something is a big part of it. If they can't be sure you're really there for whatever they're patient and understanding in a way that was really healing to me after having been in an abusive relationship as a teen; it helped reframe many things into a much healthier place.
Thanks Ruth, well worded. It’s how I think about it, but didn’t have the words. This will help many❤
Brilliant Ruth- a really important message. Thank you x
Ruth this is so amazing!!! You spoke so well x
Thank you Louise 🙂
The planning part is easy. Every morning before breakfast. Every evening before sleep, and random times during the day.
Couldn't agree more and such a perfect analogy to remove the stigma from thinking and talking about it. Great job!
thank you, I'm so glad you liked it!
YES RUTH. THATS MY FRIEND 😭😭 being the intelligent legend that she is 💜💜💜
follow her, BOOK HER COURSE. You will never find a safer space discussing these topics than you will with Ruth
I have realized that is exactly what I was doing last several years , but I did not have words to explain, nice approach, thanks. 🙂
Thank you, I'm glad it gave you the words to describe your approach.
Totally inspirational talk from an very inspirational woman. Amazing stuff Ruth ❤
Nice pic I bet you keep your men happy
if you want to get better in tennis, you can't play with the same person every time 😅
Facts! 😂😂
That's absolutely not true... Clearly you don't know much about "tennis" 😂
Haraam
You can. But the other person has to put time and interest in the tennis journey too.
You can find a new way of seeing a tennis match if your partner is willing to do some changes too, and try new things.
We don't need different people, we need different mindsets.
Tho, it's good to try playing with people that are open minded, so you can learn how to play and find joy in the journey
Mixed double is the best game.😅
Great stuff Ruth!!❤❤❤
Have been a practioneer of this idea for 50 years, she is correct.
Thank you for sharing your life experience, that's great to hear!
Amazingly well done Ruth, so proud of you!!!!
Nice pic
Very well explained and informative accurate video. Thank you for sharing
I am glad you found it useful, thank you for your feedback 🙂
Nothing short of genius. Thanks for the knowledge.
@huub245 so happy it landed so well for you. Enjoy putting it into practice!
Looking at Ruth’s collar 👀🧐
Bravo! Positive, exceptional advice - I like that view! Thank you
Thanks! I appreciate you!
Brilliant talk! So beneficial to be able to communicate openly and overcome the shame.
thank you! So glad to hear you enjoyed it.
Totally makes sense, thanks for revamping.
Awesome Ruth I'm so happy this is out there. Well done xx
@djdavidphillips thank you so much. A TEDx talk from you next??
What an amazing presentation
Great talk with relatable examples.. 🙌🏻
All I can say is - she found a platform to speak her fav hobby and also do business. 😄😃
Business for sure.
Such an excellent reframing! Thank you. I was nearly there, as are many of the people I know, but mostly by happenstance - and you just delivered the recipe. I think a bit of scheduling and calling for some training sessions for the upcoming season would be cause for laughs - important! - and simply quite a lot of joy in these parts. I don't think it was mentioned in your talk but there is something powerful in converting expectation (with all the fraughts and perils) into anticipation and excitement (let's see what happens Tuesday).
@Relicarious yes! I love that - converting expectation into anticipation. There were hundreds... thousands... more things I'd have loved to say in the talk, but I only had six minutes. Next time! So glad you enjoyed it, thank you for sharing your thoughts.
@@ruthramsay_ I bet there was! And that conversion speaks to a lot of things also from the wisdom of Emily Nagoski - I assume you are familiar, if not, you will find something there with which I bet you will align very well - and for me is about moving out of the critical mindset and make space for creaticity and exploration. "Next time", you say - Yes! I will look forward to more of what you wish to share.
Good analogy Ruth, even experienced couples can get better with a little good coaching.
So simple and obvious - I can't wait to re-frame :)
Thanks for your advice. I’ve since started a tennis league. I have matches all week long now.
My Love and I do the exact thing and have the exact attitude as she says. I feel so good that we follow unconsciously those best practices.
That's great to hear!
Want to live the dreams, Mr Pool
Interesting and inspiring approach❣
"We just hope we'll spontaneously want it at the same time"
probably the best tedx i've ever seen
Amazing Ruth. ❤❤
Brilliant comparison ..! Thank you
I'm glad you liked it - thank you for commenting 🙂
Great analogy
Super well done Ruth , may it get seen by many x
concur!,,, already waiting at the pub!!
Thank you so much! I'm amazed and delighted with viewing figures so far!
Thank you! Wonderful comparing🎉
I'm glad you found it a useful watch 🙂
brilliant talk
3:20 Most of what we are told when we are young is what can go wrong.
4:15 Let's start thinking about it like a hobby. This is a positive affirmative.
6:05 Skill remember: Communication, creativity, empathy.
Grateful for this reframe.
Glad you found it useful, thank you for commenting 🙂
Amazingly conveyed❤❤,
Awesome analogy and talk thank you Ruth 😀
Happy you enjoyed it. Hope you have fun putting it into practice!
Amazing Ruth!
Absolutely love this reframe! Thank you for the valuable and inclusive work you do.
Unless they’re an Olympic pro
Great presentation!
Fantastic talk. Thank you.❤
I hope you enjoy putting it into practice!
Great talk! I 100% agree
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the talk.
Thank U!! That is very very good!👏👏👏👏
I'm glad she mentioned "including solo."
she just loves it, it shines all the way through her
For many people it is not about the choice. Its about being with a person that does not turn you on but a person with who you have children and leaving is a high cost.
I agree with the hobby statement.
But you've chosen to have children and to be a Family?!
@@melmier3500consider the possibilities. Maybe their partner ballooned up to 300 pounds and are not physically attractive anymore.
@@schroederluck7984 we don't know what Future hold. I guess I'm a little bit tired of people acting like they don't have a choice. Humans Change and our bodies are changing as Well. Gainig weight can have a Lot of different reasons. Would be great if a Partner can help and motivate to Change a Lifestyle amd behavouir and sometimes accept a Situation If the reason are health issues for example. I guess I'm a little bit tired of people blaming others and acting like they don't have a choice. We tend to be lazy and are often not willing to change something even if we are not happy. Love and grattitude are powerful 🌤️💕 Wish you all the best
@@schroederluck7984 Exactly. The love is still there, but physical attraction is a real struggle.
@@schroederluck7984 MFT for couples therapy is an option.
Great talk, I totally agree
@barrysmith8920 thank you!
Great article 👏
❤
Nice pic and 😃
I LOVE IT!!!
Wise words :) liked so much!
Flawless presentation.
Excellent lecture!
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Brilliant!
Ruth is fantastic, and we love this talk 👏
Always has and is STILL my favorite hobby😉🔥💓
must watch for everyone
Ah, not a bad idea. Put it on the shelf with all the others that I'll never get around to doing. Hehe
My wife of 24 yrs play tennis everyday! We both love TENNIS but only together no doubles!
Wow hahaha this is exactly what my mom thought me when I was a teenager in the 2000’s. She thought me to see it as a hobby, like tennis! It was such a good lesson for me! ❤
That's amazing that your Mom described it this way!
It’s TAUGHT, not thought. Maybe she should have also taught you how to spell. 🤦♂️
@@RustyKnorrI tawt I taw a puddy tat
The Hobby analogy assumes that both partners have an interest in that Hobby. I married someone that later came out as asexual and can attest that this definitely is not always the case
Not everyone likes tennis either.
@@davidjennings2179 And?
@@thatoneguy1821 It doesn't assume both partners have an interest in the hobby, the video is just addressing the situation where they are both interested. The analogy still works if they aren't, it just assumes the connection is clear.
If someone doesn't like tennis no one is making them play (hopefully).
@thatoneguy1821 mismatched interest in 'the hobby' is the most common issue people are describing in the comments under my talk... I will be preparing a workshop or resource around this soon. Thank you for sharing your situation.
@@ruthramsay_ Interested to know if this workshop is called divorce and legal uncoupling
Thank you for this! Great job!
Glad you enjoyed it, thank you for commenting.
Thank you.
I love this!
Interesting approach! We decided to take a hobby and never came back to sexe! Both our quality of lifes actually greatly improved in doing it. Yes indeed hobbies are great things to do.
Please tell...what hobbies?
What hobby?
Hobby: side chick, 😂😂
What a wonderful talk! ❤
thank you, I'm delighted you enjoyed it so much :)
This was great. Good stuff. I need to listen again so I can get better at tennis.
I really want ponroticacom hotsexmovies
This is my iñtrest request
What a talk! I just found my new hobby!
Thank you
Well done Ruth! 👏🏼
Never had it, and now I'm too old, I guess you don't miss what you never had. Not upset about it,I've always just accepted it
How old are you?
@@minni1094 63 in a few months
@@Pault3788 It's never too late!
@victoriajones8974 prostate issues,and pelvic floor disfunction prevent it
Try prostate massage?
amazing!!!
Foi com esse vídeo que eu comecei a praticar tênis, mudou minha vida
Step 1: find a partner
Thats asking alot these days haha
😂
As someone who paints abstract paintings by just splattering paint everywhere, as a hobby, I see this as an absolute win :-D
Absolutely communication is important with your partner. If you cant talk about what you want then you are with the wrong partner. 😉😊
I don't think she is promoting divorce or breaking up from a meaningful relationship .
Or you've been raised in a very conservative household.
Absolutely not true.
Кира, спасибо за то, что смогли додавить Александра Александровича на интервью))
Well done Ruth. Proud of you!
I have always approached it this way. It is a hobby.
God bless you woman.
Great analogy. I'll start looking for a Tennis-Camp 😁
Tennis camps seem to be associated with upside down pineapples 🤷♂️🍍🍍🍍
Thank you Ramsay for your epic bliss story.
I'm an intermediate English learner. I've first heard most comprehensible talk in TED talk.
I would like to make this video my textbook. But when I'd encounter that 3 letters, my solo violent activity would come not to be stopped even if I'd grit my teeth. I hope these three letter would be changed into 'it' or 'debate' or better stuff.
Communication ,
Creativity,
Empathy
Simply brilliant, thank you!!
I'm glad you enjoyed it 🙂
This is for apsolute beginnerss ❤❤❤❤❤❤
If people evolve constantly trying to do new things.... You dont need a new person, you renew yourself...
A hobby and a Sport to be enjoyed! No guilt, no shame!
STD's are free.
I would have to watch this over and over again 😍😍😍
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@earncryptoz so glad you like it! Thank you for commenting.
What a fantastic idea 👍