Ladies, it's time to age ~disgracefully~
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- čas přidán 29. 06. 2024
- In this video, I talk about the pressures of aging, especially on a woman, and how society treats us ladies at different points of our lives.
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On how love doesn't exist in ~deluluand~: • Love exists in the rea...
On the soft life being dependent on a "high value man": • If your *soft life* de...
On getting ahead of the biological clock: • The biological clock w...
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Chapters
00:00 Intro
03:41 30 and Single? Disgrace.
07:10 Kids or no kids. Disgrace.
14:29 40 or older? Bye. - Zábava
First of all girl you look GOOD and second of all as a 27 years old woman I learned that no matter what I do I will be judged so I stopped listening to all the people that tell a woman where she should be in life and how she should be because it is my life and I want to love it and live it to the fullest.
Yesss! 🙌🏽
I forgot when I bought my first house when I was 25 my uncle told me I'd never get a husband because no man wants a woman who has so much.
Your uncle reminds me of mine tbh... But you buying your first house at 25 is just wow! 👏🏽🩷
They just keep devaluing the things women achieve because they don't want to put in the work to meet you where you are at
A man who wouldn't want to be with you because you have a house is not worth it anyway. Btw congratulations on your house
Girl I’m 25 . I wish I could buy a home now it’s my dream ❤️.
As a soon-to-be-50 year old, I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE! 🙌🏾
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In African culture, aging is not viewed as negatively as the West views it. I am thankful that I was conditioned to embrace aging. Although I now live in the west, I only take care of my skin (face masks, facials, etc…) because it’s fun and not as a way to “prevent” aging (whatever that means).
There's something so interesting about the idea that at 30, women start coming of age - getting to know themselves and their wants/boundaries - have the full potential to become excellent leaders and this is when we start demonizing them. Of course it only gets worst from there. In a culture where youth is social currency, it's really disheartening.
When we were in the pandemic, a mental health group had an activity through zoom. One of the questions was “would you rather stay young but stay the same mindset? Or age and grow your mindset?”. Everyone said stay young and they said they could travel everywhere. I said the opposite, im not afraid to get old as long as my mindset keeps growing and changing in a positive manner. I don’t want to stay young and be stuck in the same mindset that I have now that can be troublesome sometimes to my own mental health
I mean it's funny how people try to bring women down and make them feel irrelevant, when in reality there are so many affairs for example, so there are definitely people who value married women with kids :D As ridiculous as it sounds. And I am almost 36, no kids, no husband but so privileged to be surrounded by people who never rub that in my face or try to make me feel less. It was still hard to not have a partner, but your surroundings can make it so much worse, your videos always remind me of that.
The people that surround you are so critical in forming your experiences, and I think you're very blessed! Honestly, it took me SO long to create boundaries, to filter out the noise, and select the right people to allow around me, but since I've done this I've been my happiest self. 🩷
I love your title (haven't watched yet) ❤ i hate how people talk about aging gracefully, it reinforces the idea that women should be elegant, pretty, in control, etc. Can we just age?
I’m 27 and I have a much different take when it comes to aging. It’s something that I have to just accept but truthfully is pretty hard. Not because I’m aging but because of the stigma that aging= no longer attractive. I know it’s not an issue and it’s a terrible stigma. But because I grew up hearing how ugly I was all my life by my family , it’s pretty hard to accept that on top of not being considered “pretty” all my life on top of that , now I’m aging too lol.
I have a loving partner and we have a daughter together. I love my daughter so much and would never even fathom calling her ugly or even have her thinking she’s ugly. But I realize that in order for her not to feel that way I have to accept how I look , love myself so she can see that and imitate that behavior onto herself. I think the stigma of aging and beauty can also be passed down from women to women in each generation. It’s sad but it’s up to each of us to change it. And with that being said I can’t wait to get older and become even wiser.
You look great in your profile picture tbh and have nice hair 💕
The crazy thing about Jane Fonda playing that character is that she was/is so incredibly gorgeous…like omg, ridiculously gorgeous. Look up Kitty Twist from Walk on the Wild Side. Jesus Christ!
I would say one thing none of the problems we face as women would be resolved if we ourselves would not stand againt it . I am saying it again after sometimes even society stops saying sh!t to us be openly misogynist to us because we start doing a very good job on our own in that matter . I have rarely heard from men on my age and frankly it doesnt effects me . The thing that hurts the most is a woman with same experiences as mine same sh!t faced by her as mine turn around and start repeating the same nonsensical ideas.
You’re not wrong tbh. While I’ve personally had both men and women comment on my age vs where I was in my life, I can agree that overall more women need to support women, and especially women from older generations supporting change in the younger generations.
Another thing is, as a female doing my PhD. My family treats me as the one who has to take care of others. I don’t mind doing it once in a while but they say “oh you are not doing anything, you aren’t married or have kids so you can sacrifice yourself for now.”
I understand caring for one’s family but you shouldn’t have to sacrifice yourself consistently in order to take care of everyone around you! Self care is so important. 🩷❤️
I was feeling sad thinking about my age (being "past my prime") and being single. Looking in the mirror and seeing fine lines, white hairs, and undereye circles I tear up a bit sometimes. Thank you for this video message, Yusra. ❤
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Thanks for this video. I especially liked hearing about the 106 year old filipina..so inspiring and it's too bad stories like this aren't mainstream .
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Thanks for making a video abt ageism. Really appreciate this!
As a woman, it really pains me when older women are so harsh and perpetuate these awful stereotypes onto younger women. The way I see it, most of them are so bitter and unhappy with the lack of opportunity they had and their unhappy relationships, that they just exude their negative feelings on them for no reason other than to bully them.
It's so unfortunate that we have to face social pressure throughout our lives for our life choices whether we do live up to societal expectations or go against the grain. Even if as women, we are being intentional with our lives and doing what is best for us, it's so draining to keep having to justify our decisions to other people who probably were "good intentioned." I'm glad we're definitely having all of these conversations though on the internet and I'm excited for society to change for the better!
The lack of older influencers is down to the evolution of tech. People in the cohorts that are digital natives will be well represented as they age.
I turned 53 this year and I get reminded from everyone that I look too young I should try to look older how do you do that when you're a size 6 with no wrinkles! I can't help genetics. I love saying my age because I earned it. Every woman is beautiful at every stage. Don't let the world dictate how you should age.
Wait what? But I thought looking younger was the expectation? What on earth do people want at that point, it's almost as if the real offense to them is a person accepting themselves and not wanting to make changes because they're happy with what is
You're beautiful and thank you for the message. 😭
@@amethystdream8251 well when you look way younger than your age people do keep telling you that you should act or look your age whatever that means. I'm sure looking younger is the ideal but people will always poke and comment either way.
I love this girl❣️❣️Every wrinkle is a beauty mark, scars earn from the battlefields, along w/ tears & laughter. I get the fear. We have to embrace the good, bad & the unknown. Solidarity 🌹 to all women!!
I felt called out about the retinol comment lmao.
Great video!
Haha you know what I mean! and thanks so much! 🩷❤️
Oh, and another note is the lack of facial expression that plastic surgery does on faces. That's uncanny valley territory and sometimes I wonder if it's reflective on the need for women to present as submissive and 'emotion-free' in order to not adhere to stereotypes of being 'crazy'. Anyways
This is a pretty interesting thought tbh, one that I hadn't thought of before!
This video is a favorite of mine so far. You hit on constant points that are so true and relevant. We would love you even more if and when you had a child. If anything we'll have more insight to gain from you. Thank you for this video.
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I didn't listen yet, but I love listening to your perspective on things.
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LMAO at granny saying she still slays 😂 😂
Lmaaooo I still slayyyyoooooaaa 🤣
I remember trying that old faceapp or something. And it aged me up. I was so happy. I looked exactly like my grandma. Lmao. I don't usually. It was a cool surprise.
I've watched a lot of videos on these topics but seeing it through the perspective of a person of colour is different yet relatable. As a poc, it is difficult to escape the constant pressure of the society and the 'aunties' who take up the duty to remind us. Also love your videos as it's relatable in the context of culture.
I think the only problem is that society completely made it shameful to identify as a mother… so most mothers feel the need to compensate for it which is an impossible task almost… it’s just a vicious cycle of hopelessness.
Kids are are kids for a short while
My life now mostly now revolves in raising my kids and taking care of my house… then relaxing reading or watching movies and that’s the me now… if I were to wan to had something else now it would be hell.
If I want I can work\ volunteer\ whatever later.
Although my life revolves around my family I did not lost myself… that is myself at this moment.
Having a successful career is something external, that’s why people ask you to build a family, because that’s a personal achievement an inner one.
I’m all over the place here … just wanted to put my two cents
Very insightful as always
Thanks so much! 🩷
I’m 29 and I was told at a speed dating event by a 39 year old that I’m past the expired age and that he wants someone much younger cuz “it’s easier” whatever that means
you should have told him that unless he is a multi millionaire, he probably will never get an attractive woman in her early 20s cause she can literally pick anyone, why would she pick his middle aged and average earning ass? I swear some men are so delusional they want to date stunning women in their early 20s when they are middle aged, like Dicaprio, but they miss the part where Dicaprio is a MULTI MILLIONAIRE😭😭Ahhh how fun would it be do be half as delusional as some men are..
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@brownfireball Ireally love all your videos! But I just want to suggest that the way you feel about young privileged women pedaling the soft life (as stay at home GFs) is the way single women might feel about you - a happily married woman - telling them that it's OK to age, get wrinkles, etc. It feels a little tone deaf and not recognizing your own position of privilege in a world where most women want to get married, most men devalue women as they get or appear older, and you are already married hence don't have to deal with these issues with the level of concern that a single woman might. Please take this as constructive criticism only, and keep up the great work!
Hi, thanks so much, and I welcome the constructive criticism! 😊
The way I think about it is that once a woman goes through one hurdle or phase of life, it's like the next one automatically presents itself. First you're single and that is a huge struggle in terms of how society treats you. Then if/when you get married (which I absolutely acknowledge my privilege here, though I've had this privilege for a very short time as compared to all the years I was single 😅) then it's the struggle of having a child, your individuality, how your body changes etc. And then once that hurdle is cleared and you enter "middle age+" it's dealing with feeling completely invisible/irrelevant to society.
As a woman, I think there's just no winning, and things will always be a struggle. Which is why from my perspective, whichever phase of life/hurdle you're going through, I think one should embrace their age/the changes/the battle scars, coz at no point will society ever let it be easy.
@@bfbmain well said, agree
No 106 year old actually looks like that she's been ironed to within an inch of her life, the teeth and gums look suspiciously youthful too although I know nonagenarians who have their full set of teeth and very beautiful ones at that.
What is that Jane Fonda movie please?
No thx I like the power
I find it highly inappropriate to ask a women when she’s gonna have a baby. We don’t know the story behind. Imagine how hurtful are these question for a women who’s going through relationship crisis, break up, sickness or cannot have children.
The aunties are traumatising me 😂
you may think you want to hear from older women, but people don't want to look at them, unless they look many years younger. The video format is deeply unkind to older women, and filters can only go so far. There are reasons why there aren't so many older women online. And why the numbers of young and attractive females are beyond prolific, they are the monopoly. And you , my friend are a young attractive woman , you won't really realize the absolute truth of "pretty privilege" until you are old! So don't wish your life away
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to age we shouldn't shame women for not wanting to age
It's something that no one chooses no-one consents to and it is an ugly part of life , it seems taboo to say that aging is ugly but it is I've known that since I was a child it's sad unfortunate is hurtful but it's the truth, that's one thing parents don't think about when they have a child that one day this child will be ugly old and fragile,, the truth hurts I know
You have a good point. It's one of the reasons why i would never bring a child into this world. Seeing how aging aging hurts both our bodies and cognitive function. It's brutal.
That is what yursa is saying that there is definitely a lot to unpack if you don't want to age because of societal standards on how they view older women. Although if you are afraid of aging because of the fear of death it's normal
@@ayomidedareabel5525 I don't care about society standards
I care about my standards, we don't want to age because (WE) don't want to,, not because society says not to , there are serious consequences to aging,, not only the hideous physical part like you don't recognize your face anymore,
Your skin starts to look like dried-up beef jerky , your vagina starts to sag and gets harrier but the emotional part of aging is torture, oh and your body falls apart becoming weak fragile like a baby only uglier looking like a wrinkly ugly monster yeah this is not a society thing this is an individual thing we don't want this
Would you rather get old or die young?
That’s your opinion, not a fact. Aging is a beautiful gift.
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