My first short film (kind of...)

In this video I wanted to learn more about videography so I recreated a short film. It was honestly so much harder and took a lot longer than I previously anticipated. Nonetheless, it was awesome because I definitely learned a ton. I might make a video in the future about the specific things I learned.
I was using the Fujifilm X-T4 for video and the Rode Wireless Go 2 for audio. Everything was shot in 4k at 30fps. I would love to know how you think I did.
Credits:
The short film I recreated...
Why Not? by Ewungwo - • Why Not? - A Short Fil...
Music...
• Little Simz - Heart on...
/ jid-2007-official-inst...

[@davidwangg]

this is actually really cool. great work!

[@nooaadams8719]

watching this was a really pleasant experience

[@alexchang7959]

great work, looking forward to the work you do in the future!

[@cfelipef824]

Much appreciated!

[@chopinfanclub6672]

I think the original utilized sound a little better. For example the water in the shower scene is not the same volume as the dish washing, and thus adds more texture when watching. Other minor effects like zooming in on the clock also adds more interest visually. Another possible improvement could be moving the desk closer to your wall, or adding even more clutter at 2:36. There's also no reason why your monitors should be off. I think they could have been put to some spreadsheets or even canvas. The original did not have monitors but that obviously does not mean you can't take the creative liberty to. All these changes would sell the idea of being overworked more. Furthermore, lighting in the room could have also been manipulated better. I think it should be slightly darker with the lighting more on your shoulders. This way, the breadth of your shoulders are accentuated in contrast to everything else and further pushes the idea of being burdened by work.
This is relatively unimportant but I think you should have typed that number out on your phone faster, and if you wished to show hesitancy have you hesitate right before pressing call. Or gone through contacts since it would seem to be someone you know well. I think it would make the following scene easier to understand, that you are calling someone who is important to you.

[@chopinfanclub6672]

Overall it was a very well done film!

[@cfelipef824]

Oh yea I just noticed that difference in the sink and shower sound. You make a good point, it does add a sense of texture. Yea I didn't realize that I forgot to add the zoom in for the clock shot until after I posted, nice catch. You make a good point about the monitors, I could've taken some creative liberty there as well. For the note about the lighting being on the shoulders for the office shot, I completely agree. You make a great point about emphasizing the shoulders and I think that Ewungwo makes that exact move in his film. For the note about the phone call. In a creative sense, I agree that it doesn't make a ton of sense to have to dial in the number of someone close to you. But since I was focusing on the technical reproduction, I just recreated whatever Ewungwo did in his film (as closely as I could, I don't have a landline phone thing).
Anyways, thank you so much for your comment! I don't know if you realize how much it means to me. I really appreciate your analysis and the opportunity to critique my work. Thanks, have a great day!

[@Dheuejfk]

It is not a cringe. Last shot with "why not" is out from the color style of your movie, i think

[@cfelipef824]

Well the color should be the same since I didn't color grade any of the shots. But I agree that the last shot is over exposed since I was shooting in sunlight. I wanted to get separation of background but I had to stop down my aperture all the way to get closer to proper exposure. This is why I need some sort of ND filter. Thanks for the critique tho!