Beginnings...Middles...and Endings... Why is the middle of Grief so challenging?? Share your thoughts and experiences!🙏 Let's Work Together to Support Your Grief. Learn more here... www.jomcrogers.com/
I am thankful for videos like this on CZcams as I have no support. My two closest friends passed away last August and September. They were my support and now trying to deal with the pain of losing them is unbearable some days. Everyone I know all told me to talk to a therapist. Not a single person offered any kind of help or support and that totally crushes me. My childhood fear of no one actually liking me is becoming true (I'm 50) and that just adds to my devastation. Thank you for being here for those of us who feel completely alone...
It’s been just over a year since I lost my husband and found myself a widow at 55. Now that the ‘business’ and shock of his passing I find myself in this stage of grief. I still have a solid cry daily and talk to him like he is still with me. It takes a lot of effort for me to do my regular activities; I feel like I’m pretending and am wearing a mask. I’m trying to find the balance to move forward and process this incredible weight of sadness in a healthy way.
I know how you're feeling. Although my losses are not profound like yours I am going through these feelings as well. It's only been a few months but people are tired of my sadness so I have to put on a happy face so I don't have to be completely alone. Perhaps you have a similar experience. I'm sure your husband is still around you. As living beings our energy does not die and your love for each other connects you. He can hear you. You are still together but in a different way though I know how painful the physical separation is to bear.
I lost my sweet husband 6/29/22. I thought I was doing ok, but lately I am just so sad. I miss him so much and some days all I want to do is curl up and cry. Everything you talked about in this vid is true for me. 😢💔
FEEL SO bloody sad and .lonely most people Do not😂understand you are like a Fish 0ut of Warter being a lonely widow is horrible hate being a lone the pain dose not go a way
I lost son (Feb2021) then husband (Dec2021)…I realized a few months ago, I’m not in shock now, and then my grieving really hit me hard. I am beyond alone. Every day I don’t care to live and death seems so much more peaceful state to be in. I am clinging to my faith. But I am beyond sad and lonely.
I lost my son in Jan. 2021. I lost my husband Oct. 2023. I feel like I’m in a world where I no longer belong, that I no longer care about. No one can really help because they were my world. My heart and soul. My husband and I did everything together for almost 50 years, since we were teenagers. I am not me anymore. Losing him was losing myself. It’s wrong. It’s hell.
Sigh. I find that my illusion of having passed through the worst of grief gets rattled as I join in watching these videos. I am reminded that I remain spiritually dead and lost for any meaning. I know that this grief has matured, I no longer cry everyday, but I also know that I will never feel normal again. It really is very hard to live in the moment, to embrace life as a series of changes, to have no attachments, when life’s greatest meaning was found in the person you lost.
I am exactly where you are. I have wonder as to why and what for am I here. I am alone 99% of the time, just me and the cat. no kids, no close friends.. what's it all for?
Your words resonate with me. I had a “friend “ that I could I count on. Would have lunch once every two weeks then once 3 weeks till one day nothing. No phone call….nothing. No no explanation. ….
13 months since I lost my husband and I feel I have taken a backward step. Such longing to have my husband with me, stronger than anything I felt in first year, can’t find pleasure in anything although I do continue to meet friends and socialise. I thought I was coping but now I feel I have run into a brick wall and my heart aches for my beloved husband of 57 years. This is so hard.
I needed to hear this video today, I have just returned from a family visit with my son and 2 grandkids. On the last day there I was very emotional and was not really sure why, I had so much fun with them all but I still felt unhappy! I was missing part of me and they seemed to not even recognize that my husband was alive and was such a big part of my life. I am in this stage of grief. It’s been 15 mths since his passing. I have been able to do so many things that I could not as his caregiver. This is good for me in some ways but all these things do not fill the space in my heart that is empty.
Dear Jo, you’re the only one who explains the numerous minutiae of this impossible grief. I find even when am relatively ok there is a pointlessness to everything even conversations & family. You are truly lovely & maybe the only one who understands. Thanks ever so much for your kindness.
This is exactly where I find myself 8 months after losing my husband and best friend of 50 years. I thought I was losing my mind. It is reassuring to know that this is a "normal" part of grief, however I feel so lost and need more direction.
I am in the ecotone. I actually feel more empty right now than I have the past 10 months since my husband died. Everything has changed. Nothing in my life is the same as the day he passed... My home, my location, my family, my job....nothing is the same. I have no goals, no plans, and no thoughts. Right now, I'm just empty.
Somehow, I think the worst grieving period was from year 3 to year 10. So true that after “ robot mode”, I was utterly devastated. My husband’s death was very sudden and royally unexpected at 61. This August it will be 12 years since his death. It wasn’t until year 10 that I could think fondly and chuckle about my husband’s personality and his keen sense of humor. Now I am looking forward to seeing him in the resurrection, which comforts me greatly. I play the widow card and the old lady card whenever I can .🤣🤣
It has been 4 months since lost my soulmate! I was married before for 58 years and my husband passed away after 10 years of surgeries due to an accident in Africa. And between every surgery we serve the Lord in Africa. God brought Joe into my life he had been married 43 years and lost his wife. We were married five years ago. Not quite five years when he passed. I’m lost without him! I live alone on a very large piece of property in a rural area. Because I was in Africa for 30 years I don’t know very many people. I have a very very small circle of friends. Each day feels like 100 years ! I’m 83 years old and very healthy! I’m a Christian and I believe God is in charge, but right now I just find it difficult to do anything but cry because I’m missing my soulmate so much! Life just has no meaning without him! I do appreciate your articles it does make me realize I’m not losing my mind. Which is very important at this time!
So true, is this the no-mans land? You cry, you are scared, you don't want to be alone, but yet some things you get on with because they have to be done.
In five more days it will be one year since my beloved husband of fifty years died. I always followed his lead, and we had division of labor regarding house, yard, bills and many decisions. I look back on this past year where I had to take on everything. For the most part, I have managed alone. I completed eight months of grief therapy with a wonderful counselor. I'm trying not to look ahead too far, because it becomes overwhelming. To do lists get checked off, but I know I need to spend more time reflecting on where I'm headed. I was stronger than I thought I would be, but the anxiety and grief always lie in wait.
I'm going into year 8 now of losing my mother - and 7 months later, my eldest son, aged 29 died suddenly by an accidental prescription overdose provided by his "estranged" bio dad who had just re entered his life. I then lost my best friend of 40 years 3 years ago and in January this year, my beloved kitty, who was my loving companion for 23 years passed away. People comment to me often that I'm one of the strongest women they know. Well I didn't have a choice of course. It's been a very lonely journey as I keep my grief inside, which I know is not healthy but that's what I've chosen to do so as not to make people including my husband uncomfortable and feel awkward. Thank you for your wonderful videos, Jo. Your voice is calming and your discussions give me some peace and insight! I'm grateful for you!
Dear Jo, I came across one of your videos within days of losing my husband very suddenly and I am so thankful. Just being able to listen to someone that understands and gives practical advice and hope in those early days has meant so much to me. This is such an important resource for those in grief and I cannot thank you enough, Jo ❤
Thank you for these videos, they have been very helpful. I am in middle grief. Exactly as you explained, where I am in a life today that is the same as before my husband passed, but has a huge hole in it. And not yet in, the next life that is unfolding. It is still excruciating much of the time. I even broke down at the grocery store yesterday. My husband died unexpectedly on September 20, 2022. He was 49, healthy. Our relationship and life was vibrant and robust. I miss him so much and the grief feels like God is ringing me out like a wet washcloth. Thank you for the reminder to use tools to integrate this experience. Thank you
Thanks Jo, yes, nearly 16 months in and 'symptoms' of grief I expected in the early days but which weren't there are here now like waking with a start thinking my partner will be ringing me from treatment or that I need to ring him, not believing it's real and if I play magic I can renegotiate reality and have him back. The main thing is, when I look to the future it seems my life is over. I manage in the present in a micro way, it's bland but not devoid of small joys. Long term meaning is gone without him in my orbit yet I keep going, counting my blessings.
My sister passed on 2 weeks ago & I am still in the shock & denial that she is gone...I talk to her every day in spirit as if she is still alive...I see her spirit in the birds singing to me, on the trees outside my window...I can feel her spirit around me as my new guardian angel...All these signs from spirit & heaven are comforting to me at this time...Thank you for these grief videos that bring comfort & support for all those who are grieving at this time...
JO, I was just trying to explain this feeling to a friend and thought I was losing it. Thank you for validating these feelings. My past was comfortable and happy. The present is numb, scared, and shattered. My future is without my husband, which I can not fathom, I can not see a happy future. It's like starring into fog. No clear direction. We were first loves since 17years old. He passed suddenly in front of me from cardiac arrest. I thank God every day for my children. They are my future.
7:30 This sounds so much like my journey. Me and my husband was also first lives since I was 12 and he 14 years old. He died in our bathroom in front of me also of cardiac arrest 😭😭on 23 December 2022 barely 5 months ago. One month before our 38th wedding anniversary. He was only 58 years old 😭😭 Life lost its taste for me, nothing excites me anymore 😢 although I'm also soo thankful for my kids and so glad that they stay in the same town as me. And then on top of it all I was diagnosed with Leukaemia 4th April. Started with therapy two weeks ago. Although I all the side effects of the medication it feels like its happening to someone else. It doesn't bother me.
Thank you Jo for this video. 24 mths have passed and I suddenly find myself regressing into a frozen state of inertia. Back to staying in PJs, back to exhaustion, any simple activity seems insurmountable. I think about the child I've lost with intense focus around the clock. I will be seeking therapy.
I noticed i spoke about my loss of a loved one with people a long time, I was seeking some sort of validation. I believe this was because of my denial. I couldnt integrate the truth of it for a long time.. Now the emotions have hit me like a truck. And so, I no longer speak about my grief, I just feel it now. I grief alone and in silence. I have welcomed in the emotions I have been denied feeling for so long.. And so I have actually started processing the grief I believe. I am no longer as stuck in chock, denial and confusion as I was for the first 10 months. I have now surrendered to the emotions. I have willingly said to myself "I will allow this to destroy me. So that something new may grow from the ashes." And it is sort of a strange but valid way to honor the grief and my loss, to allow it to thuroughly change me in whatever way it see fit. I want this to leave a mark. I want this to change me. I want to honor the person I lost. Honor her life and our life together. I feel there is grace in letting grief change you. The truth is, it is impossible for me to be the same person that I was before my loss. That person died when my beloved passed away. There is no turning back. And so, allowing the grief to take me over, surrender into it and let it change me. That is the only way forward. And so I have stopped "bargaining" with my grief. I now just let it in, and honor it with complete dedicated attention whenever it needs me to feel it.
I am 19 months into my grief for my dad and 4 months for my mom and have been struggling. I have to completely start over now that my mom is gone. I need a job since caring for her was my full-time job. I need to figure where I'll live because I lived with my mom while I was caring for her. My siblings are anxious to sell the house. Clearing out the house is more personal for me in so many ways. They have homes and lives independent of this situation. This became my whole life. I put everything into care of our mother and little into myself. Now I have to learn who I am and what my purpose is so that I can move forward.
Yes, stay strong. You gave of yourself with love. Your siblings should acknowledge that by making your life easier. To give you enough to get a home. Sending you hugs❤🙏🕊️🙋♀️
This is where I started at 1 month, and now it is almost to the 1 year mark. On the 28th of April, it will be 1 Year. I find it is very difficult the closer I get to the 1 year mark. I have been alone , since the start of Month 2. The most difficult journey of my life. For the most part, I’m doing better…so there is hope. I just really miss my Husband every day, Night, Afternoon, Morning, and all the hours, minutes, and seconds in between. I know now it will never leave me,I will never stop thinking about him and all the memories we created, but I am feeling a small amount of calmness , and not that sick, frantic, preoccupied, despair. Thank you Dear Jo, You have given us a place to come, to share our feelings and talk about our loss. ❤️🌷😇Love
My husband has been gone for one and a half years now. this really helped me. Thank you. I was thinking all kinds of things about myself. I was thinking I am having dementia or I have some kind of learning disability. I feel like I want to do yoga and some kind of art. I just can't get started.
My husband passed last month after being in a a facility for 3 years due to a hemorrhagic stroke. Now, Im angry at the world and just about everyone in it as horrible as it is to admit such a thing when I’m considered a kind soul is more excruciating than the grief. I’m also very frustrated trying to get therapy all that is offered online is CBT so what is there for people like me that doesn’t appreciate this what I call a Pollyanna approach I don’t need homework at 72 years old I need someone to listen and give feedback. If I were reading this from someone else I’d think what a bitter person and that’s exactly what I’ve become. I don’t want to meditate, do yoga, walk in 100° I just want someone to listen because I’m broken and filled with fear. Most of all I feel so… sorry for myself that it’s becoming embarrassing.
I’m 72 female, no family here or close friends. My situation is my defacto partner of 24yrs has found someone else he loves….he said he is not in love with me and wants to be with her. So we have to sell up….I am scared too…not knowing where I will be living, no special someone in my life for the reminder of it….surreal at times. Also hurt, rejection and grief all rolled into one. So, please know your not alone…there are many of us. Please seek help…. I am sending you a huge hug and wish you well. We on this channel understand where your at. 🕊️🙏🙋♀️❤️
Hi Jo, first of all thank you for your continued work that you do for all of us grievers. You are qppreciated. I lost my girlfriend to a car accident last December. An engagement was just around the corner for us, talk of children too. We were so in love and it all ended so suddenly. I've had lots of support from family and friends which is wonderful, but I still feel rudderless most days. I had purpose with her in my life and now I feel dispassionate and unmotivated. I find validation in what you say and I am also lost in the mystery of it all, the why of my loss. lost my girlfriend to a car accident last December. An engagement was just around the corner for us, talk of children too. We were so in love and it all ended so suddenly. I've had lots of support from family and friends which is wonderful, but I still feel rudderless most days. I had purpose with her in my life and now I feel dispassionate and unmotivated.
I’ve been watching many of your videos and reflecting on my journey. Grief is very different with each loss. My mother had very painful cancer but still found great joy in each day plus the certainty in her heart of her next great adventurer. Her death was gentle, a relief, and I although there was a hollowness in my soul for some time, sitting vigil with her was an amazing experience. My MIL was also afflicted with cancer many years later. As an in-law with a few “challenging” people to deal with, my grief was worked through doing my work as the Executor for her estate. It was a privilege and gave purpose to my grief. She’s also the one who started dropping dimes for us beginning shortly after her death. These two, and those who came before, have each given me lessons on life and living. And now I am a widow as of Nov 2022. This is entirely different not only because he was my intimate partner of 41 years but because his death came about from injuries sustained in a MVA. For three weeks there was hope for recovery. He was 74 yrs old. Then came the day he initiated The Talk that we had rehearsed many times over the years - the one that says “I’m tired, I can’t do this anymore.” And I said OK, and had to strongly advocate on his behalf with medical staff to let him die as comfortably as possible. It took 10 days and they were remarkable. His last words were “No regrets. I love you.” For months, my grief was anger, terrible anger… but I had to suppress it, help my adult children in their late 30s process their first major loss, deal with the business of death and estate, console other people. Now I have time to grieve. I have strong friends to lean on when I need to. This month, though, has been one of being caught off guard, triggered to tears by the silliest things. I’m starting to say Goodbye.
Yes. I am just beginning to experience middle grief. I'm 7 weeks out from my spouses death after an intense illness starting in January and just 3 weeks out from his memorial. I found your vid to articulate it nicely. The fight or flight and auto pilot modes are disappearing quickly. I found their numbing effect useful and find myself yearning for it because now I have to face the hard work going forward. It's tempting to self-medicate right now because I miss the protective layer of NUMB. But I resist. It is hard.
Ecotones. You explain so clearly the interface between having and not having, guilt, love that does not die, and a future that seems at the moment too like forgetting. The pain comes and goes, but the pit of despair is always there. Today you have grounded me a little more, and I will always hurt. Thank you for helping me so much, Jo. I have really been left so alone and feel like such a failure. My poor dear Mary.😢
Thank you once again Jo ..I am at this stage I find it difficult to find myself and what amazes me is that some family members feel that they have the right to tell you what you have to do,where you have to go when going out,and with whom which friend, they can’t seem to understand that yes we have changed, I lost my husband 3 years ago and life is is struggle I don’t need to be controlled by someone else on how to live my life people can’t get it into their heads how difficult life is as I have not just lost my husband but the life we shared together …I have in my own time to find my own peace once again thank you Jo for your videos they make so much sense and they are very therapeutic god bless 👍❤️🙏
I've just found your channel and I'm enjoying your videos. 9 months after my husband was killed by a drunk driver, I'm better certainly but still not sure exactly who I am now. Still have hard wracking bouts of tears but the storms are less frequent and don't last as long. Talking about grief is hard for people who aren't going through it. Would you consider talking about how to handle everyone around you moving on when the pain is still so intense for the person grieving? Like, it was a single moment in time for the people around me, but it's a constant event for me. I deal with the aftermath of a sudden death every day. Yeah, I laugh, I've found some joy in life again, but the event is never far from my mind.
You seemed to be the only person who understands. I’m having a struggle to eat. I just to die and be out of this misery. There are days I don’t eat and I am hoping I will drift off
Thanks Jo. It's been a year this month since our only Son died. He was our life & helping us all the time. He was so fit & healthy. Was here with us had lunch said see you tomorrow . 8.30 pm had a phone call from a friend Son just fell while they were talking. Was dead when the paramedics arrived. We also lost our only Daughter 8yrs ago to kidney failure. Don't have many friends anymore. We live in Africa, so all relatives are overseas. Very hard. Xx.
I came across your video today and it was as if it was sent as a message to me! It’s been 15 months since my wonderful wife of 34 years passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I’ve felt like I’ve been regressing lately and did not understand why; you just explained it beautifully. I still feel all of those things you spoke of but knowing why is some comfort and offers hope! Thank you!
My partner died of suicide less than two weeks ago. I have already started searching for a new partner because I can't bear trying to figure out who I'm supposed to be as an alone person. Something tells me that I'm not actually going to be able to find a new partner for a long time, but it helps me feel focused on trying to put my life back together. I am learning about finding a secure attachment style.
This is exactly where I am- it has been very confusing. Your video really helped. You are the best I have found,and have passed your information on to many! Bless you!❤
Jo, your channel is really blowing up! Congrats! It's difficult for me to think of a "middle" of grief because I don't think there will ever be an "end," but at a year and a half out from losing my daughter I can definitely identify with the feelings you mention in this video. There is a definite sense of "what now?" happening! ❤
I have a creative business; and for over 30 years my mom was a part of everything- she knew what & when to clean as I worked. Was my accountability person but so much more than just a business elderly partner lol. Everyone joked that everyone who would help me paint was elderly and they were. 2 aunts (both having passed in 6 years) along w my mom. She was my best friend and in the middle I am. She’s passed 6 yrs and my business, house and my mind is a wreck. Currently I’m sitting on bills that should have been paid last 2 weeks, bags of yarn bc I want to crochet but don’t. Every room in my house isn’t dirty, but so so cluttered. My sister yelled at me last we that I can’t continue to live like this. What it is, that I don’t want to continue painting in an old space but new space which is getting cluttered w containers. I’m at the point of being overwhelmed. Everyone asks me what am I going to do? Business wise or life wise. It creates even more turmoil in my life & body. Thank you for this vid bc I’m sitting 🪑 right middle. ❤
Hi Jo- I enjoy watching your videos. It will be 4 months for me May 6 since my husband passed. The worst ‘experience’ of my life. I have support from friends and make time to stay involved. I have come to the conclusion that I must turn over my pain and sorrow to God. I am a devout Catholic and one day while sobbing that I could not do ‘this’ and to help me, I did get my answer. ‘Give it all to God. ) am now going to daily Mass. I realize that not everyone is in the same place religiously. All I know is that I cannot fix my grief. In fact, no human can. Best.
I can say that I am somewhat in the middle stage of grief. I lost my husband of 24 years to cancer 6 months ago. I still cry everyday and miss him so much. before he passed I was a wife, caregiver, housekeeper, worked 40+ hours per week, cook, etc. My life has changed so much in a blink of an eye. I dont know who I am anymore. I still work and have great support from my co-workers, but I feel like a huge part of me is missing. I feel lost without my husband. I feel lonely without his presence. I dont know how to get past these feelings. I just wish I could have him back and still have the life we had together. I never planned to be alone and without him.
I can really relate to this. My brother passed six months ago and at first the shock and numbness was over whelming. About two months ago it felt like the numbness was wearing off and the real feelings were coming through. I’ve been feeling very low about it but it helps to know that it’s normal.
They are the hardest is a good possibility, but I’m just over the shock of the loss entering into the grief phase. I don’t think at the hospital I really grass what was happening my mind. I thought I was gonna see him again before heaven . I couldn’t fathom him not being here, so I hid the grief it was gonna be a temporary thing that all the busy would move me through it . But then it hit me I wouldn’t be going over his house anymore no more birthday parties no more weekends no Seder no Friendsgiving no Christmas no more after church football no more wearing the same pjs no more late night snacks . No more FaceTime or phone calls . No more “ I love you Bobby” I love you too Dave”. Imagine the lord sends someone into your life that you never quarrel with or have one harsh word to say to each other . Me leaving after being there was hard for both of us . Dave was my retirement plan to move on upstairs and care for him till the lord called him home . Jennifer never wanted to live in langhorne . She loves center city . All gone !!! Now what ??? Time to readjust no gate card no pool or sauna no tesla no road trips . A true best friend …
I lost the love of my life in our home. May 16 he died in my arms he took two breath and then he was gone i look in his eyes and I saw was panic and scared while I was cradling him. I lied him on the floor and perform CPR but I new he was gone. He suffered a lot with chemo treatments we fought this desease Pancreatic Cancer together for 8 months and 3 weeks his death was sudden and awful. We were together 14 years and I miss him very much i feel so broken and lost without him.
I often ask who I am if I am not Pat and Lynns daughter??? I am not a sister I am not a mother. Unconditional love is gone. Married 36 years. Getting a tattoo actually helped me.
Thank you so much for this! When my Mum passed, I lost my best friend and my moral compass. And for a time, I thought she would be appalled at what I had become, because I was forced to live differently (obviously, since your life changes drastically at such a moment). And as I started doing things that I had no means of confronting with her opinion, I grew scared... As I think of this time I realise how much I needed perspective and grace, luckily I have family and friends who were able to support me in this and validate all of my feelings.
it's been three years since my Mom died and I am a grown woman, but I am so depressed and find no joy anymore....I am on 1.5 of klonopin to sleep and I wish and pray to God that I find joy again....I used to be such a happy person and now I just don't care....
I'm glad to have found your channel. I lost multiple family members in a short space of time, my two volunteer jobs that gave me friendship, routine and connection, and my wonderful amazing beloved cat who was my best friend. I don't have a partner or children and I often feel incredibly lost, alone, depressed and numb. I've lost my whole way of life. It's been 11 months.
I believe I am in the middle place. My hubby died 5/26/2019. People, with the best intentions, try to “help me along” by suggesting. I am afraid. I do not really want to be in a relationship with another person. You are so right. Thank you again and again for your most valuable channel. ❤
I don’t want to normalize grief or my miss of the most important person in my life. I’m not going to be ok, ever. I just keep thinking, what is all this? What’s the point? It’s cruel. Everything feels senseless. I am an artist. My heart has lost its motivation for creating anything. Why? I refuse to use art as sone nebulous tool that makes me better.
again, i thank you so much for these videos. you've just opened up a world of insight to what i've been dealing with for the past several years now. just learning all this, in and of itself is healing! THANK YOU!
When you talk about grief, is it only loss of a beloved person? I have had 2 huge life losses and traumas not related to loss of a loved one, and grieving deeply for a year now
It's my birthday. I buried my mother six years ago today. She married this day 1960. Gave birth four years later. . Conviently diied so we could bury her today. Death and rebirth as me. Not who she wanted. Traumatic childhood Abused all my life. My partner died 17months ago. I'm trying to relocate. Start again. Take the best of our lives for the rest of my life. Integrate two homes into one. It's been the hardest 17 months and I'm still working through the process. The emotional response to the transition is taking g it's toll but I am closer to moving than not. Life isn't easy for me and limbo is becoming more prison like the closer I get to moving. However, when I move, I will have what I want by way of home and the future will unfold from there. But not today. Today I celebrate me! Go me. Today I share I will leave my job where I'm wanted and not being pushed out. Today I do gratitude. That I did find a love that was until death us do part and that he's left me with more than enough. He's within as well as around. And I teach Be kind because you never know what people are going through. So much change but the this butterfly will emerge stronger and wiser when I finally settle into my new independent and way of living. Thanks for the video. Steering through grade 4 rapids is so much better when navigated with guides.
My husband of 21 years died 25 months ago and I'm into my 18th month of therapy. . . and doing well by all accounts. What I'm having the most trouble with at the present is deciding to move out of my present city or stay. And if I decided to move will it be instate or to a new state. At times just thinking about this is paralyzing.
At 5 months yesterday, I am a mess. The shock has worn off and I’m angry my dead husband didn’t hardcopy our taxes. Who does that?? Angry at my beloved husband for bad book keeping.
Why are so many who go through grief so insensitive when YOU have grief? We ALL go through this and yet no one wants to acknowledge your grief and you are told to shake it off and move on. Is that what most people do? What do I say to people who tell me this? I don't get it at all.
I know what you mean , after 2 years still hurts so bad, but people have not learned how to cope with grief, so they say what they think will help Big hug
Today is my birthday 🎈 but hard now because my brother not here anymore he been gone since November 2021 😢I miss him everyday I thought the pain 😢 easy now but it came back like rushing 🌊 because his birthday was yesterday I am at the crossroads at moment and don't know which way to go 😢.
😢😢😢 Now i get very painful uncontrolled grief. I lost my mom. She died of stroke 😢😢😢😢 which drug can help me ? I really miss her. This huge grief is killing me😭
My kids and sisters don’t understand me I know I am not the same person anymore and they don’t like the new me and they treat me that way which makes it hard on me I wish I was the one died maybe they would treat my husband better and I wouldn’t have to go through this I am so sad
M daughter left us in Aug 2020 and I was feeling a little better, than I realized she was never coming home, no touch no hug, feel worse than ever. 😪😪😪Jo is this normal after 3 years or am I stuck and am in complicated grieve????
Dr. Jo, I don't know how to do this, I keep going out to the mailbox expecting to see my brother's truck coming down the road to my house again and to hear him say knock knock as he opens my door. How do I move forward now?
Beginnings...Middles...and Endings... Why is the middle of Grief so challenging?? Share your thoughts and experiences!🙏
Let's Work Together to Support Your Grief. Learn more here... www.jomcrogers.com/
I am thankful for videos like this on CZcams as I have no support. My two closest friends passed away last August and September. They were my support and now trying to deal with the pain of losing them is unbearable some days. Everyone I know all told me to talk to a therapist. Not a single person offered any kind of help or support and that totally crushes me. My childhood fear of no one actually liking me is becoming true (I'm 50) and that just adds to my devastation. Thank you for being here for those of us who feel completely alone...
Boy oh boy.. grief sure is a sledgehammer to the guts. To anyone out there grieving, sending you love. You're not alone..
It’s been just over a year since I lost my husband and found myself a widow at 55. Now that the ‘business’ and shock of his passing I find myself in this stage of grief. I still have a solid cry daily and talk to him like he is still with me. It takes a lot of effort for me to do my regular activities; I feel like I’m pretending and am wearing a mask. I’m trying to find the balance to move forward and process this incredible weight of sadness in a healthy way.
I know how you're feeling. Although my losses are not profound like yours I am going through these feelings as well. It's only been a few months but people are tired of my sadness so I have to put on a happy face so I don't have to be completely alone. Perhaps you have a similar experience. I'm sure your husband is still around you. As living beings our energy does not die and your love for each other connects you. He can hear you. You are still together but in a different way though I know how painful the physical separation is to bear.
I'm sorry for your huge loss. Everything you say resonates. X
I lost my sweet husband 6/29/22. I thought I was doing ok, but lately I am just so sad. I miss him so much and some days all I want to do is curl up and cry. Everything you talked about in this vid is true for me. 😢💔
STI.L FEEL SO LONLEY BEEN TO YEARS FEEL SO EMTEY😅😢😢
FEEL SO bloody sad and .lonely most people
Do not😂understand you are like a
Fish 0ut of Warter being a lonely widow is horrible hate being a lone the pain dose not go a way
I lost son (Feb2021) then husband (Dec2021)…I realized a few months ago, I’m not in shock now, and then my grieving really hit me hard. I am beyond alone. Every day I don’t care to live and death seems so much more peaceful state to be in. I am clinging to my faith. But I am beyond sad and lonely.
I lost my son in Jan. 2021. I lost my husband Oct. 2023. I feel like I’m in a world where I no longer belong, that I no longer care about. No one can really help because they were my world. My heart and soul. My husband and I did everything together for almost 50 years, since we were teenagers. I am not me anymore. Losing him was losing myself. It’s wrong. It’s hell.
Sigh. I find that my illusion of having passed through the worst of grief gets rattled as I join in watching these videos. I am reminded that I remain spiritually dead and lost for any meaning. I know that this grief has matured, I no longer cry everyday, but I also know that I will never feel normal again. It really is very hard to live in the moment, to embrace life as a series of changes, to have no attachments, when life’s greatest meaning was found in the person you lost.
I am exactly where you are. I have wonder as to why and what for am I here. I am alone 99% of the time, just me and the cat. no kids, no close friends.. what's it all for?
Brave enough to choose them. Brave enough to loose them. stronger than we know is actually true. the window will open...
I can relate to you….sending you a hug 🫠🙏🕊️🙋♀️
Your words resonate with me. I had a “friend “ that I could I count on. Would have lunch once every two weeks then once 3 weeks till one day nothing. No phone call….nothing. No no explanation. ….
Therapy will help all of you. Blessings🙏
13 months since I lost my husband and I feel I have taken a backward step. Such longing to have my husband with me, stronger than anything I felt in first year, can’t find pleasure in anything although I do continue to meet friends and socialise. I thought I was coping but now I feel I have run into a brick wall and my heart aches for my beloved husband of 57 years. This is so hard.
This describes my mom 100 percent 😰
I needed to hear this video today, I have just returned from a family visit with my son and 2 grandkids. On the last day there I was very emotional and was not really sure why, I had so much fun with them all but I still felt unhappy! I was missing part of me and they seemed to not even recognize that my husband was alive and was such a big part of my life. I am in this stage of grief. It’s been 15 mths since his passing. I have been able to do so many things that I could not as his caregiver. This is good for me in some ways but all these things do not fill the space in my heart that is empty.
Dear Jo, you’re the only one who explains the numerous minutiae of this impossible grief. I find even when am relatively ok there is a pointlessness to everything even conversations & family. You are truly lovely & maybe the only one who understands. Thanks ever so much for your kindness.
This is exactly where I find myself 8 months after losing my husband and best friend of 50 years. I thought I was losing my mind. It is reassuring to know that this is a "normal" part of grief, however I feel so lost and need more direction.
I am in the ecotone. I actually feel more empty right now than I have the past 10 months since my husband died. Everything has changed. Nothing in my life is the same as the day he passed... My home, my location, my family, my job....nothing is the same. I have no goals, no plans, and no thoughts. Right now, I'm just empty.
I am there, but sometimes still in shock. It has only been 4 months. I feel numb and clueless. Thank you for this video ❤
Yes 15 months after … and it feels like i have no idea of what to do in my life 😢
7 years loss still miss him and don't want to forget... Or move on with anyone else .
I feel so lost without my husband of 48 years. He passed away on the 2nd February after a very long illness. Thank you for your video
Somehow, I think the worst grieving period was from year 3 to year 10. So true that after “ robot mode”, I was utterly devastated. My husband’s death was very sudden and royally unexpected at 61. This August it will be 12 years since his death. It wasn’t until year 10 that I could think fondly and chuckle about my husband’s personality and his keen sense of humor. Now I am looking forward to seeing him in the resurrection, which comforts me greatly. I play the widow card and the old lady card whenever I can .🤣🤣
It has been 4 months since
lost my soulmate! I was married before for 58 years and my husband passed away after 10 years of surgeries due to an accident in Africa. And between every surgery we serve the Lord in Africa.
God brought Joe into my life he had been married 43 years and lost his wife. We were married five years ago. Not quite five years when he passed. I’m lost without him! I live alone on a very large piece of property in a rural area. Because I was in Africa for 30 years I don’t know very many people. I have a very very small circle of friends. Each day feels like 100 years ! I’m 83 years old and very healthy! I’m a Christian and I believe God is in charge, but right now I just find it difficult to do anything but cry because I’m missing my soulmate so much! Life just has no meaning without him! I do appreciate your articles it does make me realize I’m not losing my mind. Which is very important at this time!
I lost my beloved husband Feb 12th. I lost my Dad two and a half weeks later. Your videos have been incredibly helpful. Thank you!
So true, is this the no-mans land? You cry, you are scared, you don't want to be alone, but yet some things you get on with because they have to be done.
In five more days it will be one year since my beloved husband of fifty years died. I always followed his lead, and we had division of labor regarding house, yard, bills and many decisions. I look back on this past year where I had to take on everything. For the most part, I have managed alone. I completed eight months of grief therapy with a wonderful counselor. I'm trying not to look ahead too far, because it becomes overwhelming. To do lists get checked off, but I know I need to spend more time reflecting on where I'm headed. I was stronger than I thought I would be, but the anxiety and grief always lie in wait.
I'm going into year 8 now of losing my mother - and 7 months later, my eldest son, aged 29 died suddenly by an accidental prescription overdose provided by his "estranged" bio dad who had just re entered his life. I then lost my best friend of 40 years 3 years ago and in January this year, my beloved kitty, who was my loving companion for 23 years passed away.
People comment to me often that I'm one of the strongest women they know. Well I didn't have a choice of course.
It's been a very lonely journey as I keep my grief inside, which I know is not healthy but that's what I've chosen to do so as not to make people including my husband uncomfortable and feel awkward.
Thank you for your wonderful videos, Jo. Your voice is calming and your discussions give me some peace and insight! I'm grateful for you!
Dear Jo,
I came across one of your videos within days of losing my husband very suddenly and I am so thankful. Just being able to listen to someone that understands and gives practical advice and hope in those early days has meant so much to me. This is such an important resource for those in grief and I cannot thank you enough, Jo ❤
Thank you for these videos, they have been very helpful. I am in middle grief. Exactly as you explained, where I am in a life today that is the same as before my husband passed, but has a huge hole in it. And not yet in, the next life that is unfolding. It is still excruciating much of the time. I even broke down at the grocery store yesterday. My husband died unexpectedly on September 20, 2022. He was 49, healthy. Our relationship and life was vibrant and robust. I miss him so much and the grief feels like God is ringing me out like a wet washcloth. Thank you for the reminder to use tools to integrate this experience. Thank you
I liked grief better in denial, acceptance is so hard
Thanks Jo, yes, nearly 16 months in and 'symptoms' of grief I expected in the early days but which weren't there are here now like waking with a start thinking my partner will be ringing me from treatment or that I need to ring him, not believing it's real and if I play magic I can renegotiate reality and have him back. The main thing is, when I look to the future it seems my life is over. I manage in the present in a micro way, it's bland but not devoid of small joys. Long term meaning is gone without him in my orbit yet I keep going, counting my blessings.
My sister passed on 2 weeks ago & I am still in the shock & denial that she is gone...I talk to her every day in spirit as if she is still alive...I see her spirit in the birds singing to me, on the trees outside my window...I can feel her spirit around me as my new guardian angel...All these signs from spirit & heaven are comforting to me at this time...Thank you for these grief videos that bring comfort & support for all those who are grieving at this time...
JO, I was just trying to explain this feeling to a friend and thought I was losing it. Thank you for validating these feelings. My past was comfortable and happy. The present is numb, scared, and shattered. My future is without my husband, which I can not fathom, I can not see a happy future. It's like starring into fog. No clear direction. We were first loves since 17years old. He passed suddenly in front of me from cardiac arrest. I thank God every day for my children. They are my future.
7:30 This sounds so much like my journey. Me and my husband was also first lives since I was 12 and he 14 years old. He died in our bathroom in front of me also of cardiac arrest 😭😭on 23 December 2022 barely 5 months ago. One month before our 38th wedding anniversary. He was only 58 years old 😭😭 Life lost its taste for me, nothing excites me anymore 😢 although I'm also soo thankful for my kids and so glad that they stay in the same town as me. And then on top of it all I was diagnosed with Leukaemia 4th April. Started with therapy two weeks ago. Although I all the side effects of the medication it feels like its happening to someone else. It doesn't bother me.
Thank you Jo for this video. 24 mths have passed and I suddenly find myself regressing into a frozen state of inertia. Back to staying in PJs, back to exhaustion, any simple activity seems insurmountable. I think about the child I've lost with intense focus around the clock. I will be seeking therapy.
Now that I am experiencing this phenominal grief I can more deeply sympathise with the grief of others, it is Real !
I noticed i spoke about my loss of a loved one with people a long time, I was seeking some sort of validation. I believe this was because of my denial. I couldnt integrate the truth of it for a long time..
Now the emotions have hit me like a truck. And so, I no longer speak about my grief, I just feel it now. I grief alone and in silence. I have welcomed in the emotions I have been denied feeling for so long.. And so I have actually started processing the grief I believe. I am no longer as stuck in chock, denial and confusion as I was for the first 10 months.
I have now surrendered to the emotions. I have willingly said to myself "I will allow this to destroy me. So that something new may grow from the ashes." And it is sort of a strange but valid way to honor the grief and my loss, to allow it to thuroughly change me in whatever way it see fit. I want this to leave a mark. I want this to change me. I want to honor the person I lost. Honor her life and our life together.
I feel there is grace in letting grief change you.
The truth is, it is impossible for me to be the same person that I was before my loss. That person died when my beloved passed away. There is no turning back. And so, allowing the grief to take me over, surrender into it and let it change me. That is the only way forward. And so I have stopped "bargaining" with my grief. I now just let it in, and honor it with complete dedicated attention whenever it needs me to feel it.
I always find the right video at the right time. This is where I am now!
I am 19 months into my grief for my dad and 4 months for my mom and have been struggling. I have to completely start over now that my mom is gone. I need a job since caring for her was my full-time job. I need to figure where I'll live because I lived with my mom while I was caring for her. My siblings are anxious to sell the house. Clearing out the house is more personal for me in so many ways. They have homes and lives independent of this situation. This became my whole life. I put everything into care of our mother and little into myself. Now I have to learn who I am and what my purpose is so that I can move forward.
Yes, stay strong. You gave of yourself with love. Your siblings should acknowledge that by making your life easier. To give you enough to get a home. Sending you hugs❤🙏🕊️🙋♀️
@@trishpurden7131thank you.
This is where I started at 1 month, and now it is almost to the 1 year mark. On the 28th of April, it will be 1 Year. I find it is very difficult the closer I get to the 1 year mark. I have been alone , since the start of Month 2. The most difficult journey of my life. For the most part, I’m doing better…so there is hope. I just really miss my Husband every day, Night, Afternoon, Morning, and all the hours, minutes, and seconds in between. I know now it will never leave me,I will never stop thinking about him and all the memories we created, but I am feeling a small amount of calmness , and not that sick, frantic, preoccupied, despair. Thank you Dear Jo, You have given us a place to come, to share our feelings and talk about our loss. ❤️🌷😇Love
🙏🙏🙏🤼🐏🐏🐏💔💔❤🩹❤🩹❤🩹 a big hug to you!
A year is not long enough to expect to much. Glad our here💞💞💞💞
I lost my father last April 28.😢
It's been 2 months today my son passed, and I'm completely at peace. I just miss him so much. Have good days and not such good days.
My husband has been gone for one and a half years now. this really helped me. Thank you. I was thinking all kinds of things about myself. I was thinking I am having dementia or I have some kind of learning disability. I feel like I want to do yoga and some kind of art. I just can't get started.
I feel like that sign up for things and dont do them… that was never me my memory is so confused 😞
@@paolacolombini sending you big giant hugs.
Thank you..This is exactly where I’m at and it feels awful.
Thank you so much. 19 months in from my husband dying, I have been here for a few months. Good to have it described as normal and progress. Thank you
It’s still so new to me , losing my daughter Jan 2023
I’m just trying to get through each day
My husband passed last month after being in a a facility for 3 years due to a hemorrhagic stroke. Now, Im angry at the world and just about everyone in it as horrible as it is to admit such a thing when I’m considered a kind soul is more excruciating than the grief. I’m also very frustrated trying to get therapy all that is offered online is CBT so what is there for people like me that doesn’t appreciate this what I call a Pollyanna approach I don’t need homework at 72 years old I need someone to listen and give feedback. If I were reading this from someone else I’d think what a bitter person and that’s exactly what I’ve become. I don’t want to meditate, do yoga, walk in 100° I just want someone to listen because I’m broken and filled with fear. Most of all I feel so… sorry for myself that it’s becoming embarrassing.
I’m 72 female, no family here or close friends. My situation is my defacto partner of 24yrs has found someone else he loves….he said he is not in love with me and wants to be with her. So we have to sell up….I am scared too…not knowing where I will be living, no special someone in my life for the reminder of it….surreal at times. Also hurt, rejection and grief all rolled into one.
So, please know your not alone…there are many of us. Please seek help…. I am sending you a huge hug and wish you well. We on this channel understand where your at. 🕊️🙏🙋♀️❤️
Hi Jo, first of all thank you for your continued work that you do for all of us grievers. You are qppreciated.
I lost my girlfriend to a car accident last December. An engagement was just around the corner for us, talk of children too. We were so in love and it all ended so suddenly. I've had lots of support from family and friends which is wonderful, but I still feel rudderless most days. I had purpose with her in my life and now I feel dispassionate and unmotivated. I find validation in what you say and I am also lost in the mystery of it all, the why of my loss.
lost my girlfriend to a car accident last December. An engagement was just around the corner for us, talk of children too. We were so in love and it all ended so suddenly. I've had lots of support from family and friends which is wonderful, but I still feel rudderless most days. I had purpose with her in my life and now I feel dispassionate and unmotivated.
I’ve been watching many of your videos and reflecting on my journey. Grief is very different with each loss. My mother had very painful cancer but still found great joy in each day plus the certainty in her heart of her next great adventurer. Her death was gentle, a relief, and I although there was a hollowness in my soul for some time, sitting vigil with her was an amazing experience. My MIL was also afflicted with cancer many years later. As an in-law with a few “challenging” people to deal with, my grief was worked through doing my work as the Executor for her estate. It was a privilege and gave purpose to my grief. She’s also the one who started dropping dimes for us beginning shortly after her death. These two, and those who came before, have each given me lessons on life and living. And now I am a widow as of Nov 2022. This is entirely different not only because he was my intimate partner of 41 years but because his death came about from injuries sustained in a MVA. For three weeks there was hope for recovery. He was 74 yrs old. Then came the day he initiated The Talk that we had rehearsed many times over the years - the one that says “I’m tired, I can’t do this anymore.” And I said OK, and had to strongly advocate on his behalf with medical staff to let him die as comfortably as possible. It took 10 days and they were remarkable. His last words were “No regrets. I love you.” For months, my grief was anger, terrible anger… but I had to suppress it, help my adult children in their late 30s process their first major loss, deal with the business of death and estate, console other people. Now I have time to grieve. I have strong friends to lean on when I need to. This month, though, has been one of being caught off guard, triggered to tears by the silliest things. I’m starting to say Goodbye.
Yes. I am just beginning to experience middle grief. I'm 7 weeks out from my spouses death after an intense illness starting in January and just 3 weeks out from his memorial. I found your vid to articulate it nicely. The fight or flight and auto pilot modes are disappearing quickly. I found their numbing effect useful and find myself yearning for it because now I have to face the hard work going forward. It's tempting to self-medicate right now because I miss the protective layer of NUMB. But I resist. It is hard.
Ecotones. You explain so clearly the interface between having and not having, guilt, love that does not die, and a future that seems at the moment too like forgetting. The pain comes and goes, but the pit of despair is always there. Today you have grounded me a little more, and I will always hurt. Thank you for helping me so much, Jo. I have really been left so alone and feel like such a failure. My poor dear Mary.😢
Thank you once again Jo ..I am at this stage I find it difficult to find myself and what amazes me is that some family members feel that they have the right to tell you what you have to do,where you have to go when going out,and with whom which friend, they can’t seem to understand that yes we have changed, I lost my husband 3 years ago and life is is struggle I don’t need to be controlled by someone else on how to live my life people can’t get it into their heads how difficult life is as I have not just lost my husband but the life we shared together …I have in my own time to find my own peace once again thank you Jo for your videos they make so much sense and they are very therapeutic god bless 👍❤️🙏
I've just found your channel and I'm enjoying your videos. 9 months after my husband was killed by a drunk driver, I'm better certainly but still not sure exactly who I am now. Still have hard wracking bouts of tears but the storms are less frequent and don't last as long. Talking about grief is hard for people who aren't going through it. Would you consider talking about how to handle everyone around you moving on when the pain is still so intense for the person grieving? Like, it was a single moment in time for the people around me, but it's a constant event for me. I deal with the aftermath of a sudden death every day. Yeah, I laugh, I've found some joy in life again, but the event is never far from my mind.
You seemed to be the only person who understands. I’m having a struggle to eat. I just to die and be out of this misery. There are days I don’t eat and I am hoping I will drift off
Thanks Jo. It's been a year this month since our only Son died. He was our life & helping us all the time. He was so fit & healthy. Was here with us had lunch said see you tomorrow . 8.30 pm had a phone call from a friend Son just fell while they were talking. Was dead when the paramedics arrived. We also lost our only Daughter 8yrs ago to kidney failure. Don't have many friends anymore. We live in Africa, so all relatives are overseas. Very hard. Xx.
I just had the first anniversary of my wife death and it's brought back feelings of grief just like it was then!😢
I came across your video today and it was as if it was sent as a message to me! It’s been 15 months since my wonderful wife of 34 years passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.
I’ve felt like I’ve been regressing lately and did not understand why; you just explained it beautifully. I still feel all of those things you spoke of but knowing why is some comfort and offers hope! Thank you!
I'm in the state of complicated grief for 13 years from my mother's death. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone 💔 😢
My partner died of suicide less than two weeks ago. I have already started searching for a new partner because I can't bear trying to figure out who I'm supposed to be as an alone person. Something tells me that I'm not actually going to be able to find a new partner for a long time, but it helps me feel focused on trying to put my life back together. I am learning about finding a secure attachment style.
This is exactly where I am- it has been very confusing. Your video really helped. You are the best I have found,and have passed your information on to many! Bless you!❤
Jo, your channel is really blowing up! Congrats! It's difficult for me to think of a "middle" of grief because I don't think there will ever be an "end," but at a year and a half out from losing my daughter I can definitely identify with the feelings you mention in this video. There is a definite sense of "what now?" happening! ❤
I'm so sorry that you lost your daughter. It would be the end of my world.❤
I have a creative business; and for over 30 years my mom was a part of everything- she knew what & when to clean as I worked. Was my accountability person but so much more than just a business elderly partner lol. Everyone joked that everyone who would help me paint was elderly and they were. 2 aunts (both having passed in 6 years) along w my mom.
She was my best friend and in the middle I am. She’s passed 6 yrs and my business, house and my mind is a wreck. Currently I’m sitting on bills that should have been paid last 2 weeks, bags of yarn bc I want to crochet but don’t. Every room in my house isn’t dirty, but so so cluttered. My sister yelled at me last we that I can’t continue to live like this. What it is, that I don’t want to continue painting in an old space but new space which is getting cluttered w containers. I’m at the point of being overwhelmed. Everyone asks me what am I going to do? Business wise or life wise. It creates even more turmoil in my life & body. Thank you for this vid bc I’m sitting 🪑 right middle. ❤
Hi Jo- I enjoy watching your videos. It will be 4 months for me May 6 since my husband passed. The worst ‘experience’ of my life. I have support from friends and make time to stay involved. I have come to the conclusion that I must turn over my pain and sorrow to God. I am a devout Catholic and one day while sobbing that I could not do ‘this’ and to help me, I did get my answer. ‘Give it all to God. ) am now going to daily Mass. I realize that not everyone is in the same place religiously. All I know is that I cannot fix my grief. In fact, no human can. Best.
Yes this is where I am!! I thought I was just “stuck “ in the grieving process.
I can say that I am somewhat in the middle stage of grief. I lost my husband of 24 years to cancer 6 months ago. I still cry everyday and miss him so much. before he passed I was a wife, caregiver, housekeeper, worked 40+ hours per week, cook, etc. My life has changed so much in a blink of an eye. I dont know who I am anymore. I still work and have great support from my co-workers, but I feel like a huge part of me is missing. I feel lost without my husband. I feel lonely without his presence. I dont know how to get past these feelings. I just wish I could have him back and still have the life we had together. I never planned to be alone and without him.
I can really relate to this. My brother passed six months ago and at first the shock and numbness was over whelming. About two months ago it felt like the numbness was wearing off and the real feelings were coming through. I’ve been feeling very low about it but it helps to know that it’s normal.
They are the hardest is a good possibility, but I’m just over the shock of the loss entering into the grief phase. I don’t think at the hospital I really grass what was happening my mind. I thought I was gonna see him again before heaven . I couldn’t fathom him not being here, so I hid the grief it was gonna be a temporary thing that all the busy would move me through it . But then it hit me I wouldn’t be going over his house anymore no more birthday parties no more weekends no Seder no Friendsgiving no Christmas no more after church football no more wearing the same pjs no more late night snacks . No more FaceTime or phone calls . No more “ I love you Bobby” I love you too Dave”. Imagine the lord sends someone into your life that you never quarrel with or have one harsh word to say to each other . Me leaving after being there was hard for both of us . Dave was my retirement plan to move on upstairs and care for him till the lord called him home . Jennifer never wanted to live in langhorne . She loves center city . All gone !!! Now what ??? Time to readjust no gate card no pool or sauna no tesla no road trips . A true best friend …
Thank you ❤ knowing I’m not going ‘crazy’ and actually in some way making progress has really helped. Thank you
Thank for such an honest description of grief.
I lost the love of my life in our home. May 16 he died in my arms he took two breath and then he was gone i look in his eyes and I saw was panic and scared while I was cradling him. I lied him on the floor and perform CPR but I new he was gone. He suffered a lot with chemo treatments we fought this desease Pancreatic Cancer together for 8 months and 3 weeks his death was sudden and awful. We were together 14 years and I miss him very much i feel so broken and lost without him.
I often ask who I am if I am not Pat and Lynns daughter??? I am not a sister I am not a mother. Unconditional love is gone. Married 36 years. Getting a tattoo actually helped me.
Thank you so much for this! When my Mum passed, I lost my best friend and my moral compass. And for a time, I thought she would be appalled at what I had become, because I was forced to live differently (obviously, since your life changes drastically at such a moment). And as I started doing things that I had no means of confronting with her opinion, I grew scared... As I think of this time I realise how much I needed perspective and grace, luckily I have family and friends who were able to support me in this and validate all of my feelings.
it's been three years since my Mom died and I am a grown woman, but I am so depressed and find no joy anymore....I am on 1.5 of klonopin to sleep and I wish and pray to God that I find joy again....I used to be such a happy person and now I just don't care....
I'm glad to have found your channel. I lost multiple family members in a short space of time, my two volunteer jobs that gave me friendship, routine and connection, and my wonderful amazing beloved cat who was my best friend. I don't have a partner or children and I often feel incredibly lost, alone, depressed and numb. I've lost my whole way of life. It's been 11 months.
I believe I am in the middle place. My hubby died 5/26/2019. People, with the best intentions, try to “help me along” by suggesting. I am afraid. I do not really want to be in a relationship with another person. You are so right. Thank you again and again for your most valuable channel. ❤
Have had horrible experiences trying to find Traumatic grief support… I am so very grateful for you. Thank you 🙏🏻
I don’t want to normalize grief or my miss of the most important person in my life. I’m not going to be ok, ever. I just keep thinking, what is all this? What’s the point? It’s cruel. Everything feels senseless.
I am an artist. My heart has lost its motivation for creating anything. Why? I refuse to use art as sone nebulous tool that makes me better.
I'm currently in the middle stage. Got 2 weeks off from work. Doing the best I can. I'm sure we all are.
For me there will never ever be a ending .never ever will I forget my beloved husband from simone thank you
This video speaks to me
again, i thank you so much for these videos. you've just opened up a world of insight to what i've been dealing with for the past several years now. just learning all this, in and of itself is healing! THANK YOU!
I’m at this stage now. It’s so difficult I don’t know where to turn or how to navigate it
My body is protesting so hard I feal sick every day,makes me scared if I will ever be able to move on
I need you. Thank you for your insight
I CONVINCED MYSELF THAT I COULD NOT DO THIS ...BUT I WOKE UP BACK INTO THE NIGHTMARE
Yep! Here now, so thanks for the insights
When you talk about grief, is it only loss of a beloved person? I have had 2 huge life losses and traumas not related to loss of a loved one, and grieving deeply for a year now
It's my birthday. I buried my mother six years ago today. She married this day 1960. Gave birth four years later. . Conviently diied so we could bury her today. Death and rebirth as me. Not who she wanted. Traumatic childhood Abused all my life. My partner died 17months ago. I'm trying to relocate. Start again. Take the best of our lives for the rest of my life. Integrate two homes into one. It's been the hardest 17 months and I'm still working through the process. The emotional response to the transition is taking g it's toll but I am closer to moving than not. Life isn't easy for me and limbo is becoming more prison like the closer I get to moving. However, when I move, I will have what I want by way of home and the future will unfold from there. But not today. Today I celebrate me! Go me. Today I share I will leave my job where I'm wanted and not being pushed out. Today I do gratitude. That I did find a love that was until death us do part and that he's left me with more than enough. He's within as well as around. And I teach Be kind because you never know what people are going through. So much change but the this butterfly will emerge stronger and wiser when I finally settle into my new independent and way of living. Thanks for the video. Steering through grade 4 rapids is so much better when navigated with guides.
It will be two years that I loss my mom.I have good days and bad days I’m trying to do things for me
It is like a chrysalis stage.
I lost my mom 6months ago.
It's hard, I am trusting in Jesus
To help me though it.
My husband of 21 years died 25 months ago and I'm into my 18th month of therapy. . . and doing well by all accounts. What I'm having the most trouble with at the present is deciding to move out of my present city or stay. And if I decided to move will it be instate or to a new state. At times just thinking about this is paralyzing.
At 5 months yesterday, I am a mess. The shock has worn off and I’m angry my dead husband didn’t hardcopy our taxes. Who does that?? Angry at my beloved husband for bad book keeping.
Why are so many who go through grief so insensitive when YOU have grief? We ALL go through this and yet no one wants to acknowledge your grief and you are told to shake it off and move on. Is that what most people do? What do I say to people who tell me this? I don't get it at all.
Tell them you love them but you are done with the conversation.
I know what you mean , after 2 years still hurts so bad, but people have not learned how to cope with grief, so they say what they think will help
Big hug
@@annekebrinkhof991 Thank you so much
@@coochalena2616 I did this last weekend. They looked confused but backed off. LOL
I am stuck in inertia 8 months after my husband of 42 years died. I isolate and feel lost.. who am I and what is it all for.
I am in the middle of grief.
Today is my birthday 🎈 but hard now because my brother not here anymore he been gone since November 2021 😢I miss him everyday I thought the pain 😢 easy now but it came back like rushing 🌊 because his birthday was yesterday I am at the crossroads at moment and don't know which way to go 😢.
Yes it was
Jo can you give me advice on my grief after losing my wife after 52 years when she suddenly died. I can’t find support for such long term marriage.
😢😢😢 Now i get very painful uncontrolled grief. I lost my mom. She died of stroke 😢😢😢😢 which drug can help me ? I really miss her. This huge grief is killing me😭
My kids and sisters don’t understand me I know I am not the same person anymore and they don’t like the new me and they treat me that way which makes it hard on me I wish I was the one died maybe they would treat my husband better and I wouldn’t have to go through this I am so sad
M daughter left us in Aug 2020 and I was feeling a little better, than I realized she was never coming home, no touch no hug, feel worse than ever. 😪😪😪Jo is this normal after 3 years or am I stuck and am in complicated grieve????
Dr. Jo, I don't know how to do this, I keep going out to the mailbox expecting to see my brother's truck coming down the road to my house again and to hear him say knock knock as he opens my door. How do I move forward now?
There is no purpose in life. My purpose is gone I can’t see a future alone
how do you grieve 3 people at once/??
i am 70 years old.