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My partner died of suicide less than two weeks ago. I have already started searching for a new partner because I can't bear trying to figure out who I'm supposed to be as an alone person. Something tells me that I'm not actually going to be able to find a new partner for a long time, but it helps me feel focused on trying to put my life back together. I am learning about finding a secure attachment style.

Found my neice dead in my house last Aug, 18yr old cat Feb, 38yr of marriage husband died June 5 after 3yrs of Multiple medical mistakes and severe pain so I'm Literally double Parked in the Twilight Zone with no change for the meter right now.No family support they are toxic and crazy uggg. (BTW A lot of people talking about grief are quoting CS Lewis. He really wasn't as good of a human being as the words he put on paper sadly:(

What you stating is absolutely absolutely absolutely True True and True. I can so so so relate this Vlog with my Life and to my Grief Anxiety, that I have been dealing with, struggling with past 14 yrs since my Beloved Mom's sudden death due Heart Failure.💔 Thankyou

My mom died by suicide in 2022. I still am grief stricken. She was my best friend and my life is just missing something without her. I cant find a way to fill that missing part. I just want to find a way to make a positive out of it if that makes sense..I find myself using alcohol more than ever to numb my pain 😔 life is tough lol. I am with all of you that are struggling! Good things are coming 🤞

I'm dealing with grief and loss because I'm in a one sided relationship with a narcissistic controlling manipulative father who loves gaslighting, playing mind games, bullying, neglect, silent treatment, blaming shifting me for literally everything. Can't stand to be around him because of the betrayal. Sure as heck feel triggered as f... depressed outta my mind can barely get outta bed anymore he doesn't give a damn about me everything's all about him always has been he has no right trying too control my life.

Greif feels WAY WAY WORSE THAN FEAR!!!! It’s pure hell on earth!! It’s not fair. I ask God why do we have to stay and be tortured and evolve or “grow” through the pain? It’s bullshit. Hasnt enough of this already been downloaded into consciousness so that we don’t have to keep repeating it? When my boy died my soul died too. I would much rather not even be on this earth, it sucks here. I wish I could be put to sleep. This earth =bunch of slaving just to survive and tons of jackasses! Very few joyous moments, not even on a daily or weekly basis. U “pretend” to be happy bc what other option is there.

Yes Self Compassion is a very important topic to cover. I noticed that I was neglecting my own needs while processing the grief and felt like I was running myself into the ground. A year and 4 months after the death I finally decided to get extra sleep and make sure that I ate and drank fluids regularly. I also take a vitamin dayly. Self compassion was on the back burner for way to long.

Superb video thankyou it has helped me greatly to appreciate what has been the cause of my feeling so physically and mentally so awful since my wife died followed soon after by our youngest son. At 85 years of age 60 years of marriage, I find myself in a terrible place every day I wake up. No one understands the daily problems your video so excellently highlights. Thankyou so much. Your delivery was excellent and most revealing. It will be a big help going forward. ❤

I went crazy when my animals died. I mark my life in stages. When my dad died. When my grandparents died. I don't think I'll ever get over it.

Jo this is such a good session. Before and after, who am I now and How do I place this loss in my future are such relevant questions. Thank you also for using the word death. My husband died he didn't "pass on" . I am 3.5 years down the track and have dealt with emotions as they came, I cried, screamed, rocked said no to anything I didn't want to do. I took charge of how I reacted in a situation where I felt I had no control. That is, I chose to experience every bit of emotion that came my way and made no apology for it. I felt my husband was worth that. I have just had my first 5 week trip overseas and I had a wonderful time. I allowed the people I visited to be kind, generous and so welcoming of me and was so blessed as a consequence. Thank you for your such grounded and relatable sessions.

I needed to hear this session so much. I just wanted to know how long this will go on. I was married for 40 years to my best friend. He was my everything and now I’m so lost.

❤

Feel I am going mad with grief after two years of losing my husband. We were together for 60 years

Turning in and no interest in anything outwith myself, so true

I lost my precious husband. 48years with the love of my life. He was my everything my reason for living. I wake up crying everyday and mornings are worse. Its been almost 2years and l miss him so so much. Grief is the price of loving him. I just can't let go..... 💔😢

My 22 year old died due to medical negligence.

I have experienced all of this.

Thank you for this. I’ve been navigating 9 years of grief over multiple losses. I keep trying to move on which just seems to lead me to anxiety and depression. Trying to be who I was before. But I’m not. Past present and future do feel smashed together. But I haven’t really allowed myself to sit in all this. It’s so scary and unfamiliar. This video makes me feel ok with the confusion. Maybe I’m normal.

Everything I do comes with a guilty feeling because after 60 yrs together he doesn’t get to enjoy it with me

Courage! 💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹💔❤️‍🩹♥️

I relate so so much to what you say here. I will watch/listen to this again and again. Thank you so much Jo.❤

Thank you... It's kind of hard to breathe or to trust grief counselors when you think they're just taking notes to try to condemn you...

I lost a tiny stray kitten that my dog mauled... I saved him only to have him pass three days at the urgent care during critical care. My Jack Russell, who is the guilty party to the murder of this tiny kitten... Is sensing my grief and resentment. I named him survival even though he didn't survive and I do believe that God is about life... I do believe that Jesus is the son of God and God and he promised to come back rain on the earth finish off the evil and the wicked restore the planet to what it once was and the righteous will dwell in the land. I'm not trying to be pretty here but it's not giving me hope that this tiny kitten and all that I've lost that I've loved... Will be in the Kingdom.

11.05 I often find those rabbit holes, and have explained them so well. I find that if I continue to honour my wife by continuing to do the things we used to do together, like cleaning, social, health and all of the things that loving couples do, I can find myself moving through the days without getting too attached to my grief, although I think that I have come to the terms that it will always be present in my life and I accept that. Many things will trigger my heart felt emotions which can make me cry. I lost my wife to Vascular Dementia just seven weeks ago 25th May this year, I was with her until her last breath. She will always be in my heart forever . I have watched a lot of your videos and they have given me a lot of wisdom and strength and for that I thank you so very much. (Kind thoughts,kind words and always kind heart) to you always ❤

My husband of almost 44 years took his life January 14 2024😢

Dr Jo, it’s been 7 yrs since my mom passed and 8 yrs for my dad. I was the baby of the family. (Just as an aside) When my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer she lasted 15 months and celebrated her 94 bday as if nothing was wrong but a month later she passed. They both had wonderful lives & lived into their 90’s. I was 55 when she passed & since I started a business, she was a part of it for 30 years. We became very close & even after 7 years, I’m still having a problem at times knowing she’s not physically. I no longer go to the shore bc it was our favorite place to take day rides. Now at 62, I still can relate to lots of things- I’m aging who am I now, and what do I do? Had a few grief counselors but Covid arrived and that went away, so did my job. Thank you for being around for everyone who may think they are different- there’s no one way of grief ❤❤

❤yes Self Compassion would be very helpful. Thankyou

Self-compassion is so difficult for me. I push myself until I am exhausted and in tears. There seems to be so much to handle since my husband's death, and it's all so difficult to accomplish.

All of this is true for me. I am feeling all of this. Thank you so much for this video. I lost my Mum 18 months ago but have only started the grieving process recently due to avoiding the intense pain. I feel I've lost my identity since losing my beloved Mum. It has affected every part of my life so severely. I am working with a wonderful grief therapist who says I am dealing with complicated/prolonged grief. I had no idea grief could be so devastating & "destructive". Thank you for validating how I'm feeling ❤

Thanks 🙏

I was find until today. Lost is lonely.

Can't seem to move forward as your comments are true for me

Thank you

I still have my faith, but there is 180degree change with me I have had to learn to navigate inspite of my constant emotional pain

Thank you... this helps

Hi Jo. I find your videos very helpful. My ex took her life in April. Grief and I have been on intimate terms ever since. Am grateful for your generous insights and encouragement. Thank you!❤️🙏

Now that I am experiencing this phenominal grief I can more deeply sympathise with the grief of others, it is Real !

Yes, my wife is declining in a Care Home, I have been experiencing deep grief and loss for no longer having her with me at home, then I thought, she always spoke of decorating her own coffin and now I am looking into myself and her family and friends doing this for her. I think this has shifted my Mind.

I'm there.💟

♥

I ask myself these questions every single day. I don't know how to move through these questions. Especially when no one else wants to support and explore this with me.

Mornings are quiet now but my husband was a high conflict person & massive workaholic, I'm actually relieved that he passed away. He was in extreme pain & every Waking moment was spent listening to him.Cry and scream and running back and forth to palliative care . It's quiet, no family support and the super Christians he worked with Are right next door to me in the office.And because I don't go to church.Not one single guide from that office will come over and help me with a single thing in this house so there's that too. I took over one of his part time jobs and they have to deal with me anyway but they definitely aren't like him Is high conflict as he was.He would never have let any of their wives.Do the type of stuff.They are literally watching me do from their cars😤

I cherish the comments, I don't feel so alone with my grief.

Routine works for me, plus vocalising with sound, I sing without words so my emotion gets expressed physically through my throat, loosening my voice so eventually I can speak with more strength. The grief takes away my ability to speak.

yes

Question 1: I think I'm in the integration right now, but I switch between all three stages throughout each day. Today is day 4 since the loss. Question 2: I breathe deeply and think of him in darkness at the bottom of my abdomen when I inhale. Question 3: I am integrating two things separately: 1. my relationship to him now and 2: the grief of losing the relationship we had before he passed on. Thank you.

<3

Not convinced about these questions personally. They have a place within the grief process but the first fundamental question is why, even when it is an anticipated death and even more so when not. Guarantees is a trigger word dependent on how far in someone is in their grief journey. An alternative word could be 'experience'.

I will definitely be trying this. I wake up

My beautiful cat I had for 11 yrs since she was a kitten just got taken from me 4 days ago by a predator right from my front porch 😢 I am devastated & feeling so guilty because I let her stay outside !! I wish I could do things differently & just keep obsessing why I let her stay outside at night. My house feels empty like a tomb , I miss her so much !!