Can Commitment-Phobes Feel Love?
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- čas přidán 4. 07. 2024
- Can Commitment-Phobes Feel Love?
Can commitment-phobes go beyond the infatuation stage and actually feel love? And what needs to happen for that to occur? Don't miss the answer to these questions!
If this topic is of interest to you, I invite you to visit my website www.transmuteyourself.com/ and subscribe to my newsletter, which will give you access to my free gift: "3 Powerful Tips to Overcome Commitment Phobia and Connect to Yourself in the Process". If you need help with fear of commitment or any topic where you would like to grow and lead a lighter and happier life and are interested in working with me, I invite you to apply for coaching here www.transmuteyourself.com/wor....
#fearofcommitment #commitmentphobia #commitmentanxiety
Thank you so much, you are the one that describes my experience/feelings most accurately, and it is very reassuring knowing i can overcome this.
Im in college and im having a crush on one girl , im taking things very slowly so i can process the fear step by step and not having to deal with all of it at once , im willing to do anything for this girl and i wish i can spend my entire life with her.
My question is : there is not really sufficient psychiatrists in my area(and also there is the stigma) , so can i depend on my self to overcome this? And also can I overcome the phobia WITHOUT even being in a relationship?
I also hope you can recommend some books that helped you, thanks again.
Thanks a lot for your comment! I'm super proud of you because you are aware that you have that fear. Go at your own pace, getting out of your comfort zone little by little to challenge your fear and grow in the process, and I trust that you can achieve anything that you want. You can of course do a lot of progress on your own if you are very committed to it. However, please note that if trauma is a big factor or the levels of anxiety become unbearable, it can also be recommended to get professional help, even if online.
Regarding tools for making progress on your own, I recommend developing your awareness in the moments when you feel your fear of commitment-related feelings and old patterns crop up, compassionately catching yourself in the moment, and then doing the opposite of what fear wants so you desensitize yourself. You can also implement journaling about what you feel and think during the day in moments where you fell into your old patterns, asking yourself how true those things really are, and then writing how you would do it differently next time. Meditation can also help a lot.
You can make progress without being in a relationship by revisiting who you were in the relationship as you displayed your patterns, examining how you felt and what you thought, and coming up with new ways for your new relationship. Being single gives you a lot of time to reflect and grow, so take advantage of it! However, it is in a relationship that you can really put your new skills to the test, as only with the triggers do some hidden things come up.
I recommend you the book: "Yes, no maybe" and "The Child in You" by Stefanie Stahl, but, although not related to the topic itself, "Breaking the habit of being yourself" by Joe Dispenza and "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle also played a big role in my own process.
If you need help in this process, you can always request coaching at www.transmuteyourself.com/work-with-me. Take good care!
@@transmuteyourselfcoaching1289 thanks a lot sir your words and advices are really much help , wish you all the best
Super helpful videos! I'm a partner of a commitment phobe and I've been struggling with all of these being on the other side. The first months of infatuation as you described were really amazing until the doubts and the fears surface that of course ended up in a breakup gradually. The relationship stopped for 4 months and now we are reconnecting and there is some possibility here for a new beginning although he appears to be fearing it a lot, saying that "I'm gonna be the same again, I'm gonna hurt you" or "Whats the point, it didn't worked the first time" - He acknowledges that he has issue though and he has started seeing a therapist and at the same time he recognizes that there are feelings for me still. He says that he wants to take things "slow" (but slow in a commitment phobe's language means limbo). Its a little complicated. Any tip on how I can help him and save this relationship?
Did you got back together? At least he acknowledged his issues by seeing a therapist.
Is there a way to help a commitment phobe see that they would be happier alone ? Or make them feel that they aren't obligated to stay ? I've been trying to discuss seperating or sort of trying to give my partner an out but he won't even consider it even though he is clearly unhappy with closeness.
Thanks for your message! Each case is unique so i cannot know exactly what his perspective is. Therefore, this is just an opinion from the info I have, so please don't take it as professional advice. If you have already communicated that and he is still with you, then there have to be reasons for it. Those are good conversations to have because they can create a better mutual understanding. However, especially if things are very complicated with him and seem to go nowhere for too long, it could even be more important for you to get the focus back on yourself and your happiness rather than on trying to make him see a point. Hope this helps! If you would like help with this don't hesitate to contact me and request coaching at javier.penalba@transmuteyourself.com
Im 37 and I feel like I never fell in love although I had many relationships how crazy
Same. 41 and just ended a 12 year marriage. We are not alone.