Catch blame shifting before it spreads 😷 ...hope you enjoy the new series! And yes: this is a reupload. I consulted the audio doctor earlier, and the diagnosis was "one of your vocal tracks also got inverted somehow, which causes really bizarre phase cancellations you wont hear in a good number of listening situations, especially on mobile." Thanks to everyone for pointing this out - I was only listening with headphones so I couldn't figure out what was going on. ...I take full responsibility for the error.
BrainCraft Does Blame-Sharing have similar effects? I find I do this a lot. If something is my fault I’ll say so but usually there is blame to share and then I feel like I can’t honestly take all the blame or the issue won’t get fixed so I’ll share the blame with whoever else caused the problem. Is that an ok behaviour?
I had two older sisters that blamed me for all their bad deeds, but I always told my parents when something was my fault. Eventually, my sisters learned that they couldn't lie because my mom knew I would tell the truth no matter the cosequences. Truth and owning up to faults are always the best policy. I look forward to the rest of these episodes. Thanks for sharing!
not taking personal responsibility for your own actions and, even more importantly, your reactions to the actions of others, has become a disease more deadly than any other on earth. thank you for addressing the topic. 💕
Sometimes in life, it actually is someone else's fault. It's one thing if you're blaming someone else for something you 100% did. It's another thing if the person you're blaming actually played a part in whatever happened.
This is something I think a lot about when I play video games. In highly competitive games it can be real easy to spot mistakes in your teammates but more difficult to spot your own. Often, others failures do in fact result in your own failure. But that is not always true and even when it is true there are usually things you can do to improve the situation. If you're constantly blaming other people for all of your failure you won't find these things and you'll never improve.
As more people become aware of toxic behavior, and learn to recognize it as it happens, and gain the courage to call it out at the moment, perhaps all social activities will generally improve.
I've seen this phenomenon a lot in things such as video games! I've thought a lot about this and noticed that bad players are much more susceptible to such behaviour than good players. There is this concept of "Elo hell", where bad players claim that they are unable to get higher rating because they consistently get bad teammates which is why they cant win more than 50% of the games they play at this low rating. I believe this inhibits their ability to get better at the game because they don't look at their own mistakes and try to improve on them, but rather they think they don't make any mistakes at all and blame the failure on the team so they never improve!
It's amazing that when someone tries to shift blame (and we've all done it one time) the reason is to try make ourselves look better... but in the end has the opposite effect. My respect for someone assuming their mistakes goes through the roof... while it tanks when I see someone trying to shift blame. The worst is that in a corporate environment it usually works... and I think that's why it's so prevalent in it.
I love how everything was written in a notebook and flipped through at the end, and all the credits were in the front cover :) that’s such a neat touch.
Not just self-image is at risk. One's entire future (political, financial) can be imperiled by those who must find a source of blame for every misfortune, accident, or innocent mistake.
My father, he told me I can't handle my work, I've got pretty upset and angry so, instead of say sorry, he jus said: "I said nothing wrong, you are too nervous" and my mother argued at him about so, he came back and said: "it is your fault that your mother is arguing with me, you both wants to see me dead".
Just remember that blame (or fault more accurately) is not the binary system we pretend it is. We love to pin blame on an individual, ignoring things like a victims poor choices, people looking the other way and involved groups with higher purposes. Once in blame mode, logic seems to be out the door. We often substitute the "good enough" blame for fault.
I wonder about pessimism--a lot of pessimists I know blame themselves for a lot of things, even things that aren't out of control. Maybe it's when pessimism is combined with apathy? I wish this kind of information were taught in schools (in age-appropriate language etc.). Imagine if people were more self-aware from the time they were young! Great video.
Is this a result (or side effect) of congitive dissonance? For instance, if I think I am a good employee, and my boss blames me for something bad that happened, I would experience cognitive dissonance as a result. Would seeking a scapegoat then be a way for me to delude myself into continuing with my belief of my own awesomeness while not addressing the original problem?
If you take responsibility for your own mistakes, you can expect those around you to be accountable and do the same especially if you have some authority. This has a lot to do with fairness, justice and truth. The less truthful a culture the more there is blame shifting or negating that refuses to resolve an issue. Admitting blame allows the building of trust because it provides a criteria on which progress can be made because there is an intelligent, self aware agent behind the action. Over time even if that person proves less than completely reliable, at least there is data on which to build expectations.
Sitting Still said: "If you take responsibility for your own mistakes, you can expect those around you to be accountable and do the same especially if you have some authority." I respond: Ehhhh. Maybe. Then again, the strategy has a _strong_ pay-off: namely, that those folks who successfully blame-shift aren't penalized while other (potential competitors) are. That will _always_ be enough incentive for some to engage in the behavior.
You will never win by blaming others. Blaming people only creates hostility and never leads to anyone accepting the thing or situation you are blaming them for.
But blame is important in life, without blame we can’t heal or have peace, and NOT in all cases but in some cases, victim blaming is the right approach.
Why are pessimistic people more likely to blame shift. Pessimism is only seeing that failure is more likely than success. I would think that probably makes it part of good science
I was taught to own your mistakes. When a supervisor blamed me for something in public I said nothing. I called him and we had a meeting. I said everyone’s knows it wasn’t me and so do you. I will not tolerate your next gaffe. If you need help call the team on and we’ll help mitigate any potential disaster. That made us all look better it time. Years later when we parted ways he thanked me. He became a better manager and I also made sure I understood what not to do.
Imagine a whole country watches one person like how do you even have time for that. Proves that people have most handed to them and then blame unfortunate people
No matter what we are selfish creatures and it is programmed in us to be the victim when in confrontation. Like a defense mechanism, we never stop to consider the other sides' perspective, leading to arguments. Even small things like bumping into someone.
Thanks for this . People used to say I always blame. But in my mind it was never my fault or my inability to perform was due to the mistakes or laggings in their part. I really feel bad for all the people who had to suffer. No wonder so many close relationships crashed. I will try my best to work on myself. If you have any more ways I can work on myself please help
my ex blamed me for our relationship ending, fair enough I ended it because it was a long distance relationship that was too emotionally difficult for me to maintain. he stated I should have come and visited him. I hadn't seen him in over 2 years. but I told him honestly I couldn't afford to go to china while in college, I just couldn't make the money to get to him.
I feel like people blame their problems on me. In the bookstore there was a book about anti racism. Of course I know it is about my people. If I am wrong, I would feel lie a fool. I have seen myself being wrong before. But self blaming is destructive. My family tells me to blame myself. When I stop, I tell them I am scared. Then they blame me. I don’t really think about blame. But I heard angry women when I was in high school.
I can tell you with full confidence why we blame others. It in our sinful nature to blame. Where Adam messed up in the beginning, sin and corruption was created. Hence blame was also created. And there you go.
A lot of the comments I see here remind me of a book I read a few years ago, "Leadership and Self Deception" by The Arbinger Institute. It's a good read, and after that, I always saw it differently when someone tried to blame someone else.
Off the top of my head ,how about rule breakers. Like thinking before you speak. But there are situations like touching something hot that require reacting not thinking. Maybe talk about impulses. What kind of rules should we have for possibly appropriate impulses. Like if you were picking up a pan full of your friends important food and you think it's cool enough to handle but then you realize it may be not and you have a split second to choose whether to drop it. So no matter what happens what could we reconcile about the experience, and what can we do to train ourselves. May the force be with you?
Whenever I trip on something in my house, I don't blame myself for not being aware of my surroundings or for putting my furniture there in the first place, I blame my cats for being so cute I can't help but get distracted. They don't seem to mind.
A blame B A thinks he is smart A blocks himself from progress, fixing the problem, letting the problem build up and accumulate, aggravate the problem, ... What is your job-scope.? What is your area.sss of responsibility.? Where is your friends and family and leader and ... Whose instructions are you following.? How to accord blame fairly.? When blaming others unfairly, who get exposed and discarded like used tissue.?
j think this series is going to be great :) Maybe more concrete examples could help sollidify the information, like behavior in a relationship and how to do it better (not shift the blame) :)
When I screw up I automatically look for the reason, if it's a person I'm quite happy to blame them. I'm quite aware that it's a natural human instinct to not "look bad" but I don't think that's where it originates. I think it's an inbuilt reaction to help up develop, learn and survive. Like a caveman rubbing two wet sticks together and looking for the reason why his fire won't light. The same human reasoning just happens to overflow into blaming somebody from time to time.
0:25 "But that doesn't mean we should do it" I know people LIKE to shift blame but do some of them actually think it's ok?! Do some people have that much of a warped sense of personal responsibility?! It's crazy that you have to point it out as bad!
GuitraSchlong -- If only most cases lent themselves to fit that easy rule. Unfortunately, & as BrainCraft has pointed out before in other videos, often times "who did what" and "what effect(s) did it have" are largely a matter of perception rather than objective facts. Even "cause" & "effect" are debatable here: if I admit "performing the action," but I don't honestly believe my action "caused the thing," what then? *shrug*
The Guide to Shift Blame Rule 1: They're blaming their mistakes on me, EVERYTIME Rule 2: You see they shift-blame to someone else too. Rule 3: Obnoxiously loud and unneeded volume to embarrass you Rule 4: Always trying to blame other first, instead of finding out the solution or accept the things for what it is because of what it is. Small rule: Inconsistence argument, or as I like to call it, LIE Small rule 2: Always confidence, always believe they're right. Come on, nobody can be right all the time.
hytlerson .. actually,there was no sound in some parts...i thought there was something wrong with my phone until I read comments and realised it's not just me..😅
I am not Blane anyone but I don't want anyone to speak to me or talk about me or have any connections with no matter what is that too much to ask I am sick and tired mentally emotionally and physically all I want is live peaceful alone life and be happy does all I ask for nothing more nothing less is it too much ask for ?
The captions don't seem to match what is said in the video at the time they're shown. This makes them extremely hard to use for their intended purpose.
I love it! But....... ........ Can you please define what is "bad" and "good" because in my mind they sometimes aren't the same things. Or even if they exist outside of our minds as mutable concepts. Thanks. I'm looking forwards to your new videos.
Ugh, my mom is a master of blame shifting. Its beyond rare she takes responsibility for anything she does. She is a bit of a perfectionist. Its why I can't stand blame shifting. To be fair she was badly abused as a child for her first 16 years of life so I'm sure thats part of the problem. Though her not getting proper help is the current problem. She just says "I'm not as bad as my dad is!" as if that makes her attitude ok.
Hi Love your videos long time fan.....but can you try next time to not use such light colors when writing down small fraces? But other than that great job
my brother took my laptop out of my room and put it on the ground and I didn't realize it and then my dad found out and then he yelled at me and hit me with it
This is a great idea for a series of videos. However, I feel that it's not very helpful to say that the solution to doing something bad (e.g. not taking responsibility and, instead, blaming others) is to not do that bad thing (e.g. taking responsibility instead of blaming others). It seems to me that it would make more sense to first determine the possible causes of the bad behavior. Once the causes are recognized, a strategy to address them could be devised. When put into practice, the strategy could then, hopefully, have the desired result of reducing or eliminating the frequency of the bad behavior which would have normally been the ultimate result. In the example of blame-shifting, one common cause is fear of punishment. *Why* might people fear punishment? Is it because the punishment is unknown? If so, then maybe discussing the consequences of failing at a task at the time the task is given could help. If a person knows what the consequences of failure are, they can maybe come to terms with it or prepare for it in case it happens. Or maybe the punishment would be so minimal that it would not even be worth fearing. Having this knowledge of the opportunity to prepare might, in some cases, reduce the feeling of fear the person may feel should failure occur and minimizing one potential cause of blame-shifting behavior. There various other possible causes and potential strategies for addressing bad behavior, like blame-shifting, to one degree or another. Some causes of bad behavior might be ultimately unaddressable, or even impossible to determine at all, however. Nevertheless, simply advising someone that the best way to avoid bad behavior is to not engage in that behavior is not really useful advice, for the most part. My apologies if I come across sounding overly critical. I do enjoy your videos, and I hope you guys keep making them!
Catch blame shifting before it spreads 😷 ...hope you enjoy the new series!
And yes: this is a reupload. I consulted the audio doctor earlier, and the diagnosis was "one of your vocal tracks also got inverted somehow, which causes really bizarre phase cancellations you wont hear in a good number of listening situations, especially on mobile." Thanks to everyone for pointing this out - I was only listening with headphones so I couldn't figure out what was going on.
...I take full responsibility for the error.
BrainCraft just a perfect example for the message of the video!
BrainCraft Does Blame-Sharing have similar effects? I find I do this a lot. If something is my fault I’ll say so but usually there is blame to share and then I feel like I can’t honestly take all the blame or the issue won’t get fixed so I’ll share the blame with whoever else caused the problem. Is that an ok behaviour?
Come on, that's not your fault. How should you have been avoiding that mistake?
What an unrealistic scenario is the premise of this video.... I mean what do you mean by "my boss screwed up" ? xD =)
I shift blame *to* myself all the time and I can’t stop. Help me. It hurts. It always hurts.
I had two older sisters that blamed me for all their bad deeds, but I always told my parents when something was my fault. Eventually, my sisters learned that they couldn't lie because my mom knew I would tell the truth no matter the cosequences. Truth and owning up to faults are always the best policy. I look forward to the rest of these episodes. Thanks for sharing!
I wish i had a mom like yours my mom blamed ma
I'd love to be your sister's brother! ❤❤
not taking personal responsibility for your own actions and, even more importantly, your reactions to the actions of others, has become a disease more deadly than any other on earth.
thank you for addressing the topic. 💕
I blame Vanessa from Australia..... for making me subscribe to BrainCraft and watching these videos week after week.
Hahaha!
😂😂😂😂😂 from Australia
Sometimes in life, it actually is someone else's fault.
It's one thing if you're blaming someone else for something you 100% did. It's another thing if the person you're blaming actually played a part in whatever happened.
This is something I think a lot about when I play video games. In highly competitive games it can be real easy to spot mistakes in your teammates but more difficult to spot your own. Often, others failures do in fact result in your own failure. But that is not always true and even when it is true there are usually things you can do to improve the situation. If you're constantly blaming other people for all of your failure you won't find these things and you'll never improve.
I love Muse's 'Blame Contagion': You've been bitten by Someone more guiltier than you!
As more people become aware of toxic behavior, and learn to recognize it as it happens, and gain the courage to call it out at the moment, perhaps all social activities will generally improve.
I've tried calling it out ,and it only got worse, sometimes it's better to numb your heart and get an engrossing hobby like crocheting.
I've seen this phenomenon a lot in things such as video games! I've thought a lot about this and noticed that bad players are much more susceptible to such behaviour than good players. There is this concept of "Elo hell", where bad players claim that they are unable to get higher rating because they consistently get bad teammates which is why they cant win more than 50% of the games they play at this low rating. I believe this inhibits their ability to get better at the game because they don't look at their own mistakes and try to improve on them, but rather they think they don't make any mistakes at all and blame the failure on the team so they never improve!
league of legends.
Yah, this is a sad truth.
Wingsofredemption lol
Be wary of people who blame all their problems on other things or circumstances, eventually they'll find something to blame you for.
Am still asking nicely.... It's not me
Looking forward to the series so I can avoid the bad behaviour!!
This is going to be my new favorite series! Thank you for doing this. 💓
It's amazing that when someone tries to shift blame (and we've all done it one time) the reason is to try make ourselves look better... but in the end has the opposite effect. My respect for someone assuming their mistakes goes through the roof... while it tanks when I see someone trying to shift blame.
The worst is that in a corporate environment it usually works... and I think that's why it's so prevalent in it.
Not really if it was just 2 people. Then no one else knows the truth beside yourself. And trust me, it still hurt
I love how everything was written in a notebook and flipped through at the end, and all the credits were in the front cover :) that’s such a neat touch.
i get blamed for someone else mistakes and now they won't forgive me
I'd rather you blame me, Then...I can apologize to you for it! ❤
Not just self-image is at risk. One's entire future (political, financial) can be imperiled by those who must find a source of blame for every misfortune, accident, or innocent mistake.
My father, he told me I can't handle my work, I've got pretty upset and angry so, instead of say sorry, he jus said: "I said nothing wrong, you are too nervous" and my mother argued at him about so, he came back and said: "it is your fault that your mother is arguing with me, you both wants to see me dead".
Just remember that blame (or fault more accurately) is not the binary system we pretend it is. We love to pin blame on an individual, ignoring things like a victims poor choices, people looking the other way and involved groups with higher purposes. Once in blame mode, logic seems to be out the door. We often substitute the "good enough" blame for fault.
I wonder about pessimism--a lot of pessimists I know blame themselves for a lot of things, even things that aren't out of control. Maybe it's when pessimism is combined with apathy? I wish this kind of information were taught in schools (in age-appropriate language etc.). Imagine if people were more self-aware from the time they were young! Great video.
I'm excited about this series.
people nowadays are so toxic, you cant interact with them...
I love the way you made the pencil roll over 😍
This looks like it's going to be a great series! Can't wait to see more!
Is this a result (or side effect) of congitive dissonance?
For instance, if I think I am a good employee, and my boss blames me for something bad that happened, I would experience cognitive dissonance as a result. Would seeking a scapegoat then be a way for me to delude myself into continuing with my belief of my own awesomeness while not addressing the original problem?
This is one of my favorite channels on youtube.
Thanks I needed to watch or hear information about this topic, thanks the universe there´s science for these topics
Such an awesome and highly creative episode, I love it! :D
If you take responsibility for your own mistakes, you can expect those around you to be accountable and do the same especially if you have some authority. This has a lot to do with fairness, justice and truth. The less truthful a culture the more there is blame shifting or negating that refuses to resolve an issue. Admitting blame allows the building of trust because it provides a criteria on which progress can be made because there is an intelligent, self aware agent behind the action. Over time even if that person proves less than completely reliable, at least there is data on which to build expectations.
Sitting Still said: "If you take responsibility for your own mistakes, you can expect those around you to be accountable and do the same especially if you have some authority." I respond: Ehhhh. Maybe. Then again, the strategy has a _strong_ pay-off: namely, that those folks who successfully blame-shift aren't penalized while other (potential competitors) are. That will _always_ be enough incentive for some to engage in the behavior.
Do not criticize,condemn or complain - Dale Carnegie “How to win friends and influence people”
You will never win by blaming others. Blaming people only creates hostility and never leads to anyone accepting the thing or situation you are blaming them for.
But blame is important in life, without blame we can’t heal or have peace, and NOT in all cases but in some cases, victim blaming is the right approach.
Why are pessimistic people more likely to blame shift. Pessimism is only seeing that failure is more likely than success. I would think that probably makes it part of good science
I was taught to own your mistakes.
When a supervisor blamed me for something in public I said nothing. I called him and we had a meeting. I said everyone’s knows it wasn’t me and so do you.
I will not tolerate your next gaffe. If you need help call the team on and we’ll help mitigate any potential disaster. That made us all look better it time. Years later when we parted ways he thanked me. He became a better manager and I also made sure I understood what not to do.
Thank brainCraft love your video
Its easy to overlook your own mistakes and pass the blame
Most people become defensive
Yes! Right! Stop blaming yourselves or others!
Learn Feng Shui and blame the furniture!!!
Imagine a whole country watches one person like how do you even have time for that. Proves that people have most handed to them and then blame unfortunate people
No matter what we are selfish creatures and it is programmed in us to be the victim when in confrontation.
Like a defense mechanism, we never stop to consider the other sides' perspective, leading to arguments.
Even small things like bumping into someone.
Im actually learning a lot sticking wit this Chanel
The legend says if you're early, Vanessa will like, screenshot or even reply...
take an clap from me
Thanks for this . People used to say I always blame. But in my mind it was never my fault or my inability to perform was due to the mistakes or laggings in their part. I really feel bad for all the people who had to suffer. No wonder so many close relationships crashed. I will try my best to work on myself. If you have any more ways I can work on myself please help
I love your videos. They're really unique in their own way
This means a lot today - thank you :)
I'm happy to hear :)! - Hope you're doing well
This is a great video! It gave me an idea why people blame others of their mistakes. Kudos!
Love, respect, and endless thanks for all of your efforts to help us all better understand how we became that which we call ourselves!
You are an awesome artistic drawer and education communicator. Be proud. ;)
I got really excited when I saw the Field Notes notebook she was using. I'm a dork. :)
my ex blamed me for our relationship ending, fair enough I ended it because it was a long distance relationship that was too emotionally difficult for me to maintain. he stated I should have come and visited him. I hadn't seen him in over 2 years. but I told him honestly I couldn't afford to go to china while in college, I just couldn't make the money to get to him.
great series!
I'm kinda glad you didn't blame me at the end.😊
Looking forward to this series.
My cousin blamed me that I started a fight because she did this emoji “🙏🏻”and she started kicking me and hitting me and she thought she crashed
I feel like people blame their problems on me. In the bookstore there was a book about anti racism. Of course I know it is about my people. If I am wrong, I would feel lie a fool. I have seen myself being wrong before. But self blaming is destructive. My family tells me to blame myself. When I stop, I tell them I am scared. Then they blame me. I don’t really think about blame. But I heard angry women when I was in high school.
This has helped alot with my studies💞 great video &I love the animation 👍
I can tell you with full confidence why we blame others. It in our sinful nature to blame. Where Adam messed up in the beginning, sin and corruption was created. Hence blame was also created. And there you go.
This video explains a lot about what happens in politics and the change in the common ideas of the community ! Great work :)
A lot of the comments I see here remind me of a book I read a few years ago, "Leadership and Self Deception" by The Arbinger Institute. It's a good read, and after that, I always saw it differently when someone tried to blame someone else.
Just happened to me today ☹️.
Off the top of my head ,how about rule breakers. Like thinking before you speak. But there are situations like touching something hot that require reacting not thinking. Maybe talk about impulses. What kind of rules should we have for possibly appropriate impulses. Like if you were picking up a pan full of your friends important food and you think it's cool enough to handle but then you realize it may be not and you have a split second to choose whether to drop it. So no matter what happens what could we reconcile about the experience, and what can we do to train ourselves. May the force be with you?
Whenever I trip on something in my house, I don't blame myself for not being aware of my surroundings or for putting my furniture there in the first place, I blame my cats for being so cute I can't help but get distracted. They don't seem to mind.
I love this! I want to see more about cognitive biases.
A blame B
A thinks he is smart
A blocks himself from progress, fixing the problem, letting the problem build up and accumulate, aggravate the problem, ...
What is your job-scope.?
What is your area.sss of responsibility.?
Where is your friends and family and leader and ...
Whose instructions are you following.?
How to accord blame fairly.?
When blaming others unfairly, who get exposed and discarded like used tissue.?
j think this series is going to be great :) Maybe more concrete examples could help sollidify the information, like behavior in a relationship and how to do it better (not shift the blame) :)
0:19 Love the "What?" head move :D Exactly how you feel when someone tries to blame you for his/her own mistake :-)
How do you handle oppression by someone over you?
When I screw up I automatically look for the reason, if it's a person I'm quite happy to blame them.
I'm quite aware that it's a natural human instinct to not "look bad" but I don't think that's where it originates. I think it's an inbuilt reaction to help up develop, learn and survive. Like a caveman rubbing two wet sticks together and looking for the reason why his fire won't light. The same human reasoning just happens to overflow into blaming somebody from time to time.
This was great! I can't wait to see the other videos from this series. :-D
I blame society for needing this series ! 🤓😂
Can’t wait for episode 2
0:25 "But that doesn't mean we should do it" I know people LIKE to shift blame but do some of them actually think it's ok?! Do some people have that much of a warped sense of personal responsibility?! It's crazy that you have to point it out as bad!
I am looking forward to this series.
How can you tell when you’re blame shifting and when it’s not your fault
Critical Thinking Skills For Dummies by Martin Cohen
stu woooooooooooooooosh
GuitraSchlong -- If only most cases lent themselves to fit that easy rule. Unfortunately, & as BrainCraft has pointed out before in other videos, often times "who did what" and "what effect(s) did it have" are largely a matter of perception rather than objective facts. Even "cause" & "effect" are debatable here: if I admit "performing the action," but I don't honestly believe my action "caused the thing," what then? *shrug*
The Guide to Shift Blame
Rule 1: They're blaming their mistakes on me, EVERYTIME
Rule 2: You see they shift-blame to someone else too.
Rule 3: Obnoxiously loud and unneeded volume to embarrass you
Rule 4: Always trying to blame other first, instead of finding out the solution or accept the things for what it is because of what it is.
Small rule: Inconsistence argument, or as I like to call it, LIE
Small rule 2: Always confidence, always believe they're right. Come on, nobody can be right all the time.
Finally ! ..the earlier sound was ...well,u know how it was !lol😆😉
Edit: btw nyc video!
so that's what was wrong. ok.
hytlerson .. actually,there was no sound in some parts...i thought there was something wrong with my phone until I read comments and realised it's not just me..😅
Great video! Thank you.
I'm a blamer. I want to change. I don't know how?
What if you blame yourself?
Of your blame for everything shud you apologize when you know its never bin your folt
I am not Blane anyone but I don't want anyone to speak to me or talk about me or have any connections with no matter what is that too much to ask I am sick and tired mentally emotionally and physically all I want is live peaceful alone life and be happy does all I ask for nothing more nothing less is it too much ask for ?
Omg this blame thing is dangerous.
Oh boy I can't wait!
Vanessa! Love your work. Can you talk about psychology of relationships or how can someone deal with a partner in some common situations ? Thanks :)
The captions don't seem to match what is said in the video at the time they're shown. This makes them extremely hard to use for their intended purpose.
I’m perfect. That’s why!
I love it! But....... ........ Can you please define what is "bad" and "good" because in my mind they sometimes aren't the same things. Or even if they exist outside of our minds as mutable concepts. Thanks. I'm looking forwards to your new videos.
Still going to do a video on the illusion of asymmetric insight in this new series? Still my favorite!
This is a great idea - thank you for the suggestion!
Politicians from both sides of the isle are the biggest blame shifters ever.
Great video series idea, we could all benefit a great deal from it. :D
Amazing video
Its alarming to future and chilldrens very truely backfire i see to them
Ugh, my mom is a master of blame shifting. Its beyond rare she takes responsibility for anything she does. She is a bit of a perfectionist. Its why I can't stand blame shifting. To be fair she was badly abused as a child for her first 16 years of life so I'm sure thats part of the problem. Though her not getting proper help is the current problem. She just says "I'm not as bad as my dad is!" as if that makes her attitude ok.
I believe behavioral contagion can happen with many other behaviors
love your videos thank you
My mom blamed me
Valium,vathanayum avaravarku vantha thaan purium,pilaika thariyathava naan kidayathu,all out of jealous,I'll come soon
Ight, imma copy this one for my assignment then
Thank youu!
Hi Love your videos long time fan.....but can you try next time to not use such light colors when writing down small fraces? But other than that great job
my brother took my laptop out of my room and put it on the ground and I didn't realize it and then my dad found out and then he yelled at me and hit me with it
I love this!
It's not me, Vanessa makes me procrastinate.
This is a great idea for a series of videos.
However, I feel that it's not very helpful to say that the solution to doing something bad (e.g. not taking responsibility and, instead, blaming others) is to not do that bad thing (e.g. taking responsibility instead of blaming others).
It seems to me that it would make more sense to first determine the possible causes of the bad behavior. Once the causes are recognized, a strategy to address them could be devised. When put into practice, the strategy could then, hopefully, have the desired result of reducing or eliminating the frequency of the bad behavior which would have normally been the ultimate result.
In the example of blame-shifting, one common cause is fear of punishment. *Why* might people fear punishment? Is it because the punishment is unknown? If so, then maybe discussing the consequences of failing at a task at the time the task is given could help.
If a person knows what the consequences of failure are, they can maybe come to terms with it or prepare for it in case it happens. Or maybe the punishment would be so minimal that it would not even be worth fearing. Having this knowledge of the opportunity to prepare might, in some cases, reduce the feeling of fear the person may feel should failure occur and minimizing one potential cause of blame-shifting behavior.
There various other possible causes and potential strategies for addressing bad behavior, like blame-shifting, to one degree or another. Some causes of bad behavior might be ultimately unaddressable, or even impossible to determine at all, however. Nevertheless, simply advising someone that the best way to avoid bad behavior is to not engage in that behavior is not really useful advice, for the most part.
My apologies if I come across sounding overly critical. I do enjoy your videos, and I hope you guys keep making them!
I like that notebook, where did you find it?
That is a cool magic color changing pencil you have! I blame the media.