Being INFP In The ESTJ World 😤💪
Vložit
- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
- How are INFPs affected by the over-idealisation of strength, power, success, and proactivity? Being INFP in the ESTJ world can be tough.
Music by Sirius Beat: / sirius-beat
►►►
/ erikthor
www.erikthor.com
►►►
Hey! My name is Erik Thor and I recently started my own independent website exploring personality psychology, flow and neuroscience.
►►►
I practice a mix of jungian typology and Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) Theory. I am strongly influenced by Neojungian Typology neojungiantypology.com. It's typology, but based on neuroscience and psychology. Join the community @ / discord
I am an INFP. For me, success is having your basic needs met so that you can focus your energy on improving the world.
I relate!
EXACTLY!! Well said my friend!
Lol! Same here...
You sum it up perfectly for me, Tech Witch!
That's so true!!!!
I wish my childhood innocence of just drawing and doing things remained without being tainted from the world
I would wish that too. You're not alone in your feeling. If you think that it can only mean you have a pure and beautiful soul. I understand you.
Me too. Everything feels so heavy now... 😔
Its only as tainted as you let it be and i say dont let it be dreams can be broke by this world if you wish it wasnt tainted then dont let it be grab it hold omto it we all fight to keep things like that
God I get sad when I think about how happier life used to be sometimes
I have felt very similar, heavy and wishing for innocence of youth. But you can still enjoy life as an adult. Self care is so super important ESPECIALLY when you're feeling tons of pressure from the outside world. Exercise is great for maintaining a strong body and mind, and not feeling like emotions will overtake you. And I highly recommend learning meditation and energy clearing, and doing it daily at some point. It's a nice journey for sure, though it was challenging to me at times, I kept with it and now it's my very favorite thing in life next to my cat and bunny rabbit.
I think that an INFP's life becomes more calm and peaceful as they get older. As we mature we realize who we really are and we have accepted our strengths and limitations. We know what really makes us happy and we don't need other people's validation. We stop conforming to other people's expectation of what is 'normal.' We have already figured out our authentic selves and does not feel the need to apologise for who we truly are as a person.
As an INFP, I believe that we shine very often in moments of true crisis. I mean, when every single drop of hope has been lost we can be the ones who 'dream' of possible directions to take and will never stop until we have achieved that goal if we truly believe in it and is well aligned with our core values. We are capable of endless sacrifice if we think it's worth it. In that sense I'd say we can be inspirational leaders rather than managerial ones (we don't normally enjoy telling others what to do, but by the same token we do not want others to do so to us); we can be the last line of defense in moments of extreme calamity due to our exceptionally strong sense of what is right and idealism. When in a situation of true emergency we can make use of our true power to get to where nobody else thought possible...The sensorial world is nothing but a manifestation of the inner world or the unseen...(I'm not saying that only INFPs can do this, what I'm saying is that this quality can be found more naturally in us)
Finally! A person who interpreted my thoughts exactly how they are!!
I really, truly love this, thank you
Yes, but in moments of true crisis, everyone will be looking to the big, dominant people who have been left in charge all this time (ESFJs for example) and probably won't suddenly think of listening to the quiet, philosophical one who doesn't liking bossing others around. Sadly, they'll go with what's been established for longer.
I've always thought of the INFP as what Plato would call the "Philosopher King"
This is true, as the matriarch (also an INFP) of my little family, I got them all rounded up at the beginning of the pandemic, dragged them to the lawyers and got them all to make their wills and I paid for it. There was no way I was going to have any of us kick the bucket and that our little grandchildren are not looked after financially.
Thank you! I cried watching this! Growing up, my ESFJ mum always thought there was something wrong with me, she tried really hard to push me into society, to be more open, more extroverted, more talkative, more assertive. She insisted that my own personality only will lead to a disaster. At school and work, people consistently told me that I need to speak up, I need to be more confident. I feel devastated.
Nobody gives me permission to be just me. Two years ago, I decided to allow myself to be me, the original me, and then I recovered from anxiety issues and depression. I want to bring respect and compassion to the workplace and to any situation I am part of. With Love. P.S. I got a Ph.D. degree, fellow INFPs, we can excel in academics.
;---; I'm still in my undergrad studies and I'm struggling a bit with some calculus concepts so I sometimes wonder if I'm better off with an art degree....
But I have a part of me that hopes to get a PHD one day to be a professor or social scientist(researching about the society interests me somehow)....so thank you. This gives me so much hope!
@@reyabells , @Liu ... I am happy for you both. You can excell in academics, and You especially need a stable career (not necessarily high paying but long term stable) because ESTJ world can be very mean especially for business or management positions.
Am INFP male in Nairobi Kenya. Struggled a bit with career but my IT degrees enable me to keep going.
Our value isn't recognized, but we don't care. We know true value, and that the world is "up side down" in this respect.
lies. INFP care about others opinions and a whole lot at that. You care about status you just can't reach it because you're too lazy or happy in little confort zone.
we care about others thoughts on us, but we just don't do anything about it since it's an inferior fear in us but once we know what to do, no one can be more "good reputated" than us (uh... I dunno about my wording, it seems weird)
But more than that we would rather defend our values, and if it means that others think less of us then ...
you either live with it and embrace it
or you're most likely turning insecure and are turning muchy and planing on thinking a FUCKING LOT about those value and what to change about them
since you do all that work you are inclined to like reconition since you did aaaaall this work
but um... wait oh right you're an infp people gotta ask you first before you speak
there a lot of coping mechanisms infp developed over the years most of them include changing the narrative making others good, yet they're better because they observed and know values more than anyone (which is true) and a lot of other positive things, ignoring COMPLETELY how shit we are with dealing with truth and how easily manipulative/ manipulated we can get, ohoho no one talk about the dark side of the infp
Wanting others to think highly of us aka status and recognition ? oh nonono, call this caring about everyone's opinion! call it idealism! call it being too kind for this world!
Too hung up on their own pace and confort and wouldn't like to learn how to make things a habbit? oh no!!!! This is just me being critisized for being myself! I am just always in my own head, don't you know that humanity's best political systems are made by infps?! It takes a mind to think through this! Yeah right.... you're doing what right now?
INFPs dealing _only_ with THEIR emotions. When, like legit WHEN, have you ever thought about sucking others emotions instead of making them your own and getting too busy nursing yourself? Guys, INFPs are INFPs we don't magicaly act INFJ when people want us to no matter how much you want to. INFPs are selfish, would rather take care of the self-implanted emotional burden than deal with others emotion. example when someone dies, their relative confides in you, instead of naturally being good, you cry for them/ with them... kinda look in them and analyze what they want to be heard. And you do that... manipulate your way into being likable. Fi makes it look real, our consciousness of others thoughts (mostly desires) make us know what "the right" thing to do next.... overall it's a marionette play.
And I'm SO gonna get so much hate where you're gonna change the narrative for me and change the truth for your benefit.
think about it. REALLY do.
@@salaheddinecherrak6386 I don't know about any other INFP's but myself. Myers BriggsTyping is about tendencies, and we may all start with similar tendencies but growth does happen, and therefore we can all be at different stages on the growth continuum. I would grant you that, yes......in an ideal world our INFP value would be recognized fully and I would be very happy about it.
Regarding your comment:
"we would rather defend our values, and if it means that others think less of us then ...
you either live with it and embrace it or..."
I would say that I have learned to live with it and "accept it" as the reality of our current world... and have learned that it doesn't pay to fight "what is"...and that I'm happier when I don't waste energy on endeavors that don't pay.
MaCoeur
I read all what you've said, I honestly don't have anything to add
I'm happy you found your form of maturity
I just... I gotta say one thing. You don't even have to consider it because it's something I'm still building in my head but it's taking its sweet time so I have to talk it out to move my brain out of its confort zone to pester it a bit...
ehem
I think we should always use our Fi to fight others who don't have morals, why else do we have that function as our dominant one (of course this is debateable but like... if we take so long to make our philosophy stone so that we can share it with humanity like some sort of 'solve life' button then isn't it worth fighting for no matter what? Maybe an Fe user will catch it and make it of better use ...) I have to much willpower for this yet I'm reluctant about doing that... I feel like it should be agreed upon more than forced for it to work but yet again, if I don't seem confident others types may not want my ideas
huff... thoughts dragts are annoying
@@salaheddinecherrak6386 I still do what I can where I see any "receptivity" from Fe users who may have the ability and willingness "catch it"and make better use of it....but I no longer have any illusions that I can change what isn't ready to change, nor the energy to try and "force" anything where the receptivity just isn't there. That has never been effective for me and we can save ourselves a lot of valuable energy by letting go of fights that aren't fruitful once we have a better grasp on what does and doesn't work for us.
So true.
This brought back all the school memories of my teachers telling me to talk more lol... i feel like school doesn't respect indivuality, not everyone is loud and i don't get why they think we should be? Teachers and other people telling me I'm too quiet only made me feel like something is wrong with me and that I had to change who I am. But I'm fine with being quiet as an adult now though.
And the greatest problem is when we try eventually to speak our mind and be more open they are the first one to ask what is wrong with us if you need an advice never listen to any one who ask you to change who you are
INFPs are awesome! You are great people, we need your Fi creativity and insights. You're fun! Never let people make you suppress your Fi. We need more of your Fi! :D
+Iris Yes!
😁 You're awesome.
We need more people who are as open to positivity as YOU are! 😊
this made me smile, im actually owning up to being an INFP right now
thank you so much, i needed it
Thank you 💚
As an INFP i don't often hear these words of understanding and encouragement. But when i hear this i have to conclude i do need them. Thank you very much!
I think we need it more than others, because we care so much
I’m infp.
I felt high school was utterly useless for me. I wasted 3 years of my life in this building repeating the same thing each year. I used to daydream in class because I wanted to go out and actually learn interesting things. Doing actually interesting things. Instead I was made to robotically intake information that won’t help me in the long run. I knew I would never need algebra in my life. Why was I learning it? It’s been 10 years btw and I still feel algebra was utterly useless for me. I could of learned something actually useful to me.
People would discourage me from doing things my way. I was quite the pushover so I listened. In college I started becoming very aggressive cuz I just got fed up of everyone around me. Btw I’ve listened to Extp, Enfj and xntj’s. How they argue their points. They make people listen. Learning how to argue my points properly and well.
OMG I thought I was alone in this. I'm an underachiever the typical "gifted but lazy" child. I can't focus on things that don't capture my interest. I'm usually inattentive when school becomes a meaningless routine. Doing things over and over again for what? Also, why should I spend my life studying the things that don't excite me? People say "Just study, government knows the best." Hell, no. This system is corrupt.
@@NoOne-wt6om
A lot of intuitive people feel that way.
@@CandyApples4ever..
Yes but Fi feels this 1000 times more than normal 😂
I am an INFP and became a high school teacher with at-risk youth. I am doing inside work, subverting the dominant paradigm! :-)
Excellent! I love it!
As an INFP, I really enjoy your channel because you're speaking my language. Perhaps what is hard about the dreamy/idealist perspective is that we don't necessarily offer direct or tangible solutions, rather we dream of different ways of being, of doing business, of existing. We're a compass or, as you mentioned, an advisor: one whose thoughts and ideals need to be recognized and then put into effect by those action-oriented types who see value in our words.
Yes, I find myself naturally always looking deeper; trying to see the root cause or the real why; Always observing things & sensing things, to come to a more complete assessment of a person or situation. Basically, I want to know the Truth of a thing.
Capricorn in Neptune generation lol
So true!
Let an INFP into your life. You'll never regret it!
It’s funny and ironic how the most helping people is the less valued ones
My suspicion is that most people look at us INFPs with some fear in two ways. First, we are driven to be authentic which could come across as being weird or extremely courageous, and as most people fear the outsider or lack the courage to be themselves, it means our biggest haters may be projecting hostility towards us because of that. The Second Way is that when people mention the idea of having a successful life they often seem to equate that with a big house, fancy job title and loads of money in the bank. But none of these things seem to matter to the INFPs. We are content to live in modest homes. Indeed, not only do we not care about most of what consumer society offers, often we can achieve many of the markers of "success" without following any of the rules. For example, despite only working two days a week, I paid my mortgage on my 40th birthday while people my own age or older who are working full-time still have a decade or more to go before they pay off their mortgage or don't even have the prospect of ever owning their own home because of their debts etc. The point is it can leave people asking themselves how can someone that works far less than me manage to be better-off and have the option of quitting his job and retiring early?
My mother is ESTJ. I love her, but she makes me cry very often 😅 I need more patience because she will never ever change. Specially because she's my mother and I must respect her life experience and that she took care of me. So the day she'd truly understood me would be the day the pigs flew and sang rock songs 😂😂
@Ai Ni let me join the group here.
My mom is an ESFJ, and she used to insert herself in my life choices and career choice. I felt a lot of pressure to excel in life.
Now, she leaves me alone more because I assert myself and stand up to her. I have grown in self-acceptance and self-worth. She accepts me for me now.
We are fairly close and spend lots of time together. I have also made friends with 2 other ESTJs, and I actually really like them. Amazing, isn't it?!
Thank you for your wonderful insight! I'm an INFJ but one of my daughters is an INFP. We always think of her as our Fairy Child or our Peter Pan. I had her take the MBTI test and of course she tested as an INFP. We were not surprised. She's only 12, but plays violin, loves art, and being creative. I love your message at the end. I'll definitely show that to her. I should let her listen to it every night before bed to let her know how special she is.
My whole life I have been told to behave differently, not to be so sensitive and introverted, but please to get a master's degree, then a safe and high paid job. And although I lived up to the outer expectations for some part, I always felt like a failure, not understood, while I was constantly fighting for another tiny bit of individuality - or while fighting my own personality in the end. Your videos gave me hope again! I will try to embrace being an INFP as much as possible, giving my INFP-self, what it needs. I hope everyone else can too! Doing so will most likely deal with any jealousy we might be feeling towards other personalities as well.
I hope you will read this 1 year later >.<
I'm back to my family since a month now and realized how my family is critizising me all the time and want to change me (deeply), as an INFP is it what you are talking about ? Being constantly attacked as an individual ? When we say we can't change, they answer "ou course you can, but you don't want to" .... I have this thinking process : "Listen what they say, because they are right, and then explain that you are who you are, you tried to change and it didn't work so now you are learning how to accept yourself and do good with yourself, but it needs time and it's something you have to do by yourself, you have to grow slowly like a plant does." I'm feeling less attacked and i am more happy ♥ Hope it helps ♥
this video speaks to my soul. I've always had trouble with people who say "you should" all the time
YES I'M LIKE "WHY?????" "WHY SHOULD I????"
Your videos are really helping me. All my life I've felt unappreciated by Friends and family. I couldn't understand why I would give so much and show them how much I care for them and they would turn their backs on me. It definitely makes me feel worthless or like something is wrong with me. Watching your videos helps me "process" lol and feel like I am being appreciated. 🙂
Uh.....yes! Same here. I feel as though I've given more to others than I ever get back. By that I mean on every level-emotionally, psychologically, energetically, physically, even monetarily(in every possible way). It used to upset me, I'd feel used or underappreciated. I learned that not everyone has that same depth of desire to connect as me and willingness to give so freely of themaelves and have accepted that. I only give to a point now where I don't feel drained and try to stay away from people who will use up my goodness and will never actually 'get' me. I don't know any other INFP's, it would be so nice to feel truly accepted for all that I am, and all that I am not as well! I'm tired of feeling bad or guilty for what I'm not. We don't fit well with this world and I'm ok with that now and kind of love it!💖
I recently ended a polyamory thing with someone because even when I was with him in person I’d pick up on not having nearly as much of his attention as I gave him. I decided that wasn’t healthy for me and now we’re just friends. I’m fine with that .
Thank you for vocalizing this so well, Erik! Seriously. When I was in primary school, all of my teachers recommended I go into a special school program for "gifted children" or whatever...but I took the standardized test twice and for the life of me couldn't pass. Luckily for me, my teachers insisted that I should be in the program - after all, I was cutting out detailed 3-D animal shapes out of construction paper while my classmates were still practicing their triangles - and that's how I got in. I gravitated towards the arts my whole life, but was dissuaded from pursuing it by various adults for years. So I tried to force myself (all the way up until my MA degree!) - to suppress my INFP instincts and be more "quantitative". (As if you can just BE something you're not.) The "safe" career paths, as you called them. But what I learned was that there is nothing safe at all about trying to force yourself to live outside of your element. I had no advantages there, just struggle. (And therefore limited success because I was so emotionally exhausted all the time.) I thought I was stupid my whole life. I believed it to my very core, regardless of how many times people have praised me for my "creativity". "You're creative, but...your SAT scores suck and you'll never go to a good college." (I left my country to go to college somewhere they didn't require standardized testing because of this!) It really shocks me how many people have no qualms about pointing out our INFP flaws. ("You're a slow learner. You're too sensitive. People say you're a bit weird. You're quiet. You're not focused enough...") I'm glad you speak about what you do, and for all the people commenting here. It's really great to not feel alone while......well.......staying home alone while my colleagues all go party... : - o I appreciate you!
You be you. Why not party at home instead? :) I struggled with standardised essays because I could never stick to the subject they wanted me to. I always ended up deepdiving into another side-topic.
There's more fun to be had on the margins of the notebook paper anyway ;)
Chelsea NJ I have to suppress my INFP instincts in order to be “successful” in the job I have and the people I lead. It’s been taking a mental toll on me and I now experience anxiety attacks at least once a day. It’s a mind imprisonment. I haven’t been my natural upbeat self because this ESTJ environment I’m in now sucks the life out of me. Unfortunately I’m under a contract, but once it’s up I’m moving on even if it means taking a pay cut to gain happiness and to have job satisfaction.
You missed one...."you're a scatterbrain" sigh, I remember it well.
This is so true! It is always the Introvert that is expected to change and come out of their shell and not the other way around! Extroverts automatically fall into the lap of social acceptance.
I wish I had CZcams when I was younger. I'm 50 now and am just starting to accept I'm INFP. I struggled to make my way in the ESTJ world, having to take on the persona just to make a living. I don't regret doing that, it was the only way to get a decent job with a decent wage. It's only now I've started to live according to my actual values and I've noticed that with accepting what I really am, my energy has picked up. I don't approach the world in the ESTJ way anymore, I'm not putting so much energy into that persona.
I never felt like I fitted in that world - my view of the world was too deep, too profound for the people I met, I tended to freak them out. I felt like a misfit, but it didn't stop me from seeing the world underneath.
Thankfully, I've recognised it before it was too late. I now work in a job that aligns with my values and therefore meeting more INFP people, I feel comfortable for the first time and I love my job, for the first time in 30 years. The job doesn't pay well, it's within the NHS in the UK. But I'm helping people in a concrete and real way in a public service that us not motivated solely by the pathological pursuit of money, power and profit. I see money as a way to pay the bills , nothing more. Money has never been my motivation in a job.
I wish out education system was setup so that those of us who come to our vocation late in life could have the chance to get qualified to pursue our dreams in the second half of our lives. Maybe one day, eh? Maybe one day 😁
Wow, you spoke to my soul! As an INFP i need this kind of encouragement, but i rarely get it in the real world. So thank you!
This means so much as an INFP. Thank you 😊
I am an INFP and the end bit of this video brought me to tears ❤️ thank you so much, I really needed to hear that.
Amazing, it's just like reading my horoscope, only this is real
As an astrologist infp lol that's kinda f-ed up my pet peeve is sayin sumthin isn't real unless maybe u studied it for like 20 years like I have. However I struggle with it now based upon what I see as contradictory information n the Bible because I'm a big believer n God as well...just sayin...
Also a long term astrology student - 40+ years, I know it's an astounding, working science. You need to see journalistic Sun sign astrology for what it is: story-telling make-believe.
Go see a good astrologer, they'll probably be an INFP, or certainly have strong Ne.
I now work solely with Jyotish, pleasingly an infinite study because it's a 'veda' and connects to all the other branches of esoteric knowledge the ancient Indians wrote about so reverently. Also, why stay within one country when the dots spill over into a primordial global system of esoteric science, of which astrology is a primary crown jewel?
Thankfully, I don't have religious beliefs - ooooo must be hard! Spiritual beliefs- plenty. 😊
Thank you Mr. Erik Thor... For your insightful message on INFPs. This is my first time to ever comment on a CZcams video... I'm a long time user but have never been touched enough to comment before because of my dire need for privacy... Yet your video has struck such a chord in me... If my heart was a guitar, it would've played the most beautiful of melodies by now.
I am literally crying, out of gratitude, because of your genuine insights on my kind. Your ability to use words and phrases, like a master wordsmith, is like a healing balm to my soul. (Sorry, obvious INFP here)
The best thing you can give to every struggling INFP who has yet to find a place in this cold world is UNDERSTANDING. Just knowing that someone sees us and understands us is enough... Thank you.
Thank you for this. I've been having a hard time lately in terms of some people close to me expecting me to bow down when it comes to my values. Essentially it's felt like they are saying I should be more okay with the status quo and not as vocal about challenging it. That it's more mature to just focus on yourself and the people around you and not so much on the rest of the world. It's gotten to the point where I'm questioning if something is wrong with me for caring, but honestly..I would have a hard time feeling like I have a purpose on this Earth if I only cared about myself and people like me. This video helped a lot in how I'm feeling and validated that I should trust myself more in what feels right and wrong and that it's okay to be who I am.
Don't worry, a black sheep would also question herself among a majority of white sheeps, and she would also think there is something wrong with being black.
Thank you, Erik. I am an INFP. Listened to other of your videos, about INFP ; the one about HEALTHY INFP. Yes, I have felt all my life the pull to be less sensitive, more outgoing, forget about your feelings, be strong & etc. Anyway, I'm maturing to be who I am.
I haven't touched the MBTI subject for years and have been busy with life. The first time i listened to you, i felt numb and then brushed with pain. I feel my busy life has changed me into someone i'm not, it overwhelmed me and it's made me unauthentic to myself, made me less creative, and maybe that's why i've felt so stressed and unhappy these days. Thank you for the punch in the gut, you woke me up haha. Brb gotta relax and regain the infp i have always been
I encourage you never sacrifice yourself for people who dont worth it
@@rosettesionne9139 thank you very much! Sometimes we sacrifice ourselves for other people because we care to much, because we value our relationship with someone to much and aren't ready to drop that the moment we realize that person doesn't worth our care
@@soraeverblue If you wish to talk I am here. As an Infp myself who had also experienced judgement from others be sure that I Will never judge you we all need to be surrounded by people who help us to love ourself
@@rosettesionne9139 sorry for the late respond. Thank you very much! That's really kind of you. Let's connect thru other platform if you don't mind
I really need to listen to videos like this more because there's no such thing as too much "encouragement" the INFP male can get. the world only wants to tell us, honestly, we're losers. But we have the ability to collect friends and we can thrive.
I'm an INFP on search for becoming my authentic self from being undervalued and misunderstood all of my life. Your insight, and validation is soothing for my mental, and emotional state. I appreciate your videos, and have such genuine respect for your insight. It has also helped me understand the loved ones around me who have different personality types, so I can connect with them better, thank you! Also your accent mixed with your tone of voice is so relaxing, I go into a small meditation when listening lol, keep up the great work!!
You are such a beautiful soul. Thank you for this. I have been a struggling INFP for a very long time, and your videos have helped me feel validated in who I truly am. Bless you.
As an infp, i wept through this video. I have never heard things that resonate so closely.
It's wonderful! I am an INFP teacher struggling to a myself as i am. It is easy to accept my students, now for me.
Physics, art, biology are best or near best fields for INFP, second are business administration and nursing.
Love it, I can also recommend therapy, counselling, mediating, creative fields, artistic fields!
Infps tend to also have polymath mind .
There are quite a few books about finding careers based on personality type. "Do What You Are" (1992) is an easy-to-read guide. And of course, there is the classic "Please Understand Me" (1984).
Is business really that good for infps?
@@XMarx-it1yj coming from someone who's studying for a degree in business psychology, it is! You just have to find your right path😉
Fantastic Eric
Even this ESTP (and many other types) can relate to this. I so much just want to express my energy, creativity, fun, zest for life, but instead found so much of school and work to be so constraining, limiting. So many rules, pressure to conform, get good grades, get a good degree, get a good job, make the money, pay the bills, an on and on. I won't even get into my narcisstic SJ parents.
Matt Bonneville I always hang out with estp’s when an estj is in the room.
We are comrades.
Infp and estp are very different but we both feel like society is caging us like animals and this is how we become friends in my view. :)
Being INFP, and having ESTJ mother-in-law, I find this video very helpful, thank you. :D
This is absolutely fantastic, Erik. Everthing you say is true. I'm an ENFP (with very strong Fi) and have been forever trying to adapt to an ESTJ world (becomes so draining). Have INFP friends who feel the exact way. Will definitely be sharing this video with them :-)
I feel like accepting one's individuality creates peace in the group.
Bless you so much. I am an ENFP but understand the struggle of my fellow INFP’s . ESTJ’s (as my partner is) were right for the old world the INFP is the angel leading us into the new and better future. You are the best and most imaginative writers Carl Yung, AA Milne, Dr Seuss and my favourite amazingly talented imaginative author Douglas Adams. Do not let others make you feel less. You are the meek that will inherit the earth, while making everyone welcome! ESTJ’s are action and status oriented but at the cost of compassion and even the cost of the earth. So you must just humor them for they no not of what they say 😊
I've been watching your videos some time now but this one really speaks to me. It's like you just tild my life story without knowing who I am or what I'm doing. XD And hell yea finally someone who understands me in a way. :3 I appreciate this video so much!
Awesome! :D
Me too!
Agreed.
Wow, Erik! This was one of your most inspiring messages and much appreciated by this INFP. ❤
I get what you mean. I wish I were practical, organized and logical. But I am who I am. A ball of emotion who is constantly being limited by my self imposed rigid values.
You are just the most wonderful young man. I have learned so much from you, I really appreciate your videos, they are fantastic. Thank you from an old INFP.
Omg!! You are the mouthpiece of all of us infps!! thank you so much. This means a lot!
Thank you so much for all your videos about INFPs
Being INTP I feel it's ESFJ world. People are so god damn irrational. I've been repeatedly told I should not analyze everything. But yeah, I get what u r saying :D
Your videos are so beautiful and well spoken!! Finally someone gets the mind of an INFP and what essentially life is all about
As a young adult I found it didn't really matter what i did as long as I was generally left alone to do my job.
I was happy driving a delivery truck, listening to my podcasts/going off into my own world. And that little bit of interaction at thestart and finish off the day was good for me--just the right amount.
It wasn't until management changed that I decided to leave (abruptly).
Today with a company like Amazon constantly tracking me, I don't thinkId last 3 days.
The crazy part is I could be REALLY productive for a job like that but there's this stubborn belief that "this is how you do it!" even when it's actually a simple go from A to B task.
Thor doesn’t just know his shit.
He knows his shit in a second language.
I am infp, for me learning new things in school was difficult bad memory use to get in the way then i started to use my imagination by filling my head with pictures and listening to lectures and imagining them in my head my grades improved dramatically and by using this technique i got higher degree from one of the best institute in my country
I needed to hear this right now, thank you ❤️🙏
Thank you. Recently I discovered I am an INFP and I really relate to your interpretations of us. Not often do we get solid reinforcement to pursue our passions as valuable people in society typically we are dismissed. Constantly criticized for not being like others and living up to that expectation is exhausting. It’s meaningful to hear someone believe in us and it felt like being truly seen and heard for once. I was about to give up on my entrepreneurial endeavors. You are right. We don’t process like the majority and it’s super difficult at times. It’s a refreshing reminder that I love that about myself in the same moment I am criticized externally for it. I am a creative. I don’t want to be boxed in. I was on the brink of giving up on myself because so often we are told we aren’t doing it right. Right for who? This gave me a boost of courage to keep pursuing my path even if it doesn’t make sense to others.
You're a really lovely bloke, Erik...stay strong, yet flexible like the reed you're named for. ✊
I was actually crying while watching this video. Thank you so much for making me and other INFPs feel like someone finally understands us.
Excellent. I feel that I relate to INFP's fairly easily (INTJ 5w4 sp/sx). I feel an internal pull between the search for meaning/depth, and efficiency/practicality... :/
New Subscriber! All of these comments are so real... I feel like I can’t even enjoy life. It used to always be so bright. I only did what made me happy and it was so care free. I wish I could be even close to that state again. But, especially as an INFP, it’s pretty much impossible.
Now I have crippling anxiety and social anxiety. Everything I do seems to be shaped by how I think others will perceive it. I just wrote a very long comment rambling about society and then deleted it after reading the others.
You are graded on what you contribute to the world. I just feel so directionless and cold. But in my darkest hours somehow I created another spark. A will to live. To peruse what makes ME happy. What will impact society in a way that aligns with my values and makes me not want to die. I have depression and have tried to kill myself. I was hospitalised for 6 days and it traumatised my family.
I really love helping others. But often my social anxiety inhibits me. The thought of being a counsellor terrifies me.
It doesn’t compare to other populations of the past, but introverts seem to be low-key repressed in our society, specifically America. Our goals just don’t lie in getting money or having fame!
This was magnificent. Exactly how you said, if you want to be a successful in whatever, then there seem to be certain recipes that one is required to follow, to learn how this or that should be done. I tried this for so long and finally realised that it doesn't work for me. I always get so discouraged and end up concluding that there is something is wrong woth me just because I don't function as the majority or the social ideal.It's a constant remembering and forgetting that who I am is okay and valid and I should follow my own lead. It's so incredibly easy to be swept away and compare myself to those who function completely differently than me. It's basically everywhere I look, invalidation. In the same time, perceiving the outside world as invalidating might also show that I'm invalidating myself and this is just a mirror.
Thank you for sharing, so validating! And so accurate. You could be describing me; it's great to know that there are others having the same life experience!
'Wow, that's cool. Tell me more about how you work.' No one has ever asked. Very sweet.
the end of this was very inspiring Erik, Thank You.
Wow, for the first time in my life I feel understood and appreciated! And redeemed for all the time I've judged myself for failing to change to be 'normal' and 'successful' and 'upright' and 'sensible' Brilliant and thank you so much for defining INFP so well...to an INFP!!
you brought my eyes to tears , friend ... Thank you
As an INFP I can’t adequately express what value we bring to the world. It’s this nebulous thing.. it definitely exists though.
I wonder what the world be like if there were no INFPs at all..
Maybe what we bring is the curiosity to open new doors and look in new directions. However we may not have enough focus to carry out the physical actions to pursue in those directions. Lol
I wonder what type Elon Musk is.
Yokkabai if healthy. When an infp is passionate they can change the world. An infp is one of the first few people to say fuck you to any oppression. They’re open to ideas. An infp maybe passionate about finding a cure for a disease, oppression, psychology ,arts, literature, music. Experimenting, Creating culture and healing people. I see self reflecting as unique talent. An infp has this unique type of softness about them that makes you let your guard down that no other type has. Tbh an infp is basically like a scientist, experimenting.
Basically take infp away and this stuff will be taken away from the world.
I wouldn’t mind unhealthy types disappearing though xD.
Eric, good sir, can't thank you enough for making these videos. Needed to hear this.... Corporate America has been my cage for the past decade. Finally beginning to walk my own path.
8:30, INFP here, feel the same way. I am in my early 50's. I've always worked in corporate workplaces and constantly have to deal with the grind of process-driven work where planners, project-managers, box-tickers, and task-masters thrive. It's profoundly demoralizing and makes me want to switch jobs when it gets overwhelming. The thing makes it bearable is that I maintain skill-sets and talents that are rare in the organization and I am able form strong trusting relationships with decision makers, and I am good with mentoring juniors to develop job skills.
I find that I am happiest when there's a huge unforeseen problem and the process-driven people flip-out and become useless. There's a character in the Terry Gilliam film, Brazil, that I think perfectly encapsulates the ideal role for an INFP in a corporate workplace: Harry Tuttle, Heating Engineer (played by Robert DeNiro).
czcams.com/video/dht_3NziwSw/video.html
OK, it's not that exciting in real life-- for me it happens in a cube, on a computer screen, but that scene pretty much captures the apex of joy that an INFP feels when they're in a technical job.
Infps we have an estj subconscious wich is our shadow too. These are our emotional triggers and limited beliefs.
I'm amazing at controlling the crowd, and I love bending them to my will, *but only when I'm performing MY music* :)
Or talking about wierd stuff I care about........like MBTI
PS: *so sick of people telling me to be safe, love em though.*
I finally feel understood, thank you, it's giving me strength to stop repressing my true self in order to fit in
The stubbornness....it is soooooo true. I've always upheld my inner believe firmly, my parents often think it is my major weakness. But who cares, I do not change (personality or a certain view of something) because I am told so, I will only do it after this particular view has been validated by me, and my mind and heart feel it is necessary to do so.
A funny example, a long time ago one of my friends tried to talk me into her religion, it irritated me hugely. It has little to do with religion itself, but rather how I intuitively perceive it as a threat to my inner system of belief. I felt like my life or mind can only be in my hands, and I don't need 'someone' to save me or to wash me off the 'sin', to some extend I even thought that no one has the right to cry over me. There are many other things like that.
It took me a really long time to adjust and find the balance between inner mind and the voice of opinions from outside. It feels excellent when I finally found it.
Thanks for your video.
I’m crying 😭 Raising your voice was so powerful!
I also hated those self help books, especially the ones focused on men. I would try to follow them and get so depressed and frustrated that I couldn't be like the "successful alpha male". That being said, I do love some life coaches like Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer and their philosophies on life. But he's an ENFJ so that's pretty self explanatory.
Thank you for this. I've been mistaken for an INFJ quite a bit lately and being labelled in ways that I just felt didn't describe me. I started to doubt myself, but then of course, I know myself well, so I did some research and your videos have described me so accurately it's almost scary but comforting at the same time :)!
I'm quite an old INFP. If I had a penny for every time someone has told me how much I'm missed after I've gone, or how right I was about things, when no-one would listen... Well, I'd have quite a few pennies. I don't mention this to sound smug or over-smart, just that I think INFPs are walking examples of things people don't appreciate until they lose them. Maybe, despite being pretty radical internally, we do a rather good job of blending with the furniture, quietly doing what needs to be done, on our own initiative? I still haven't found all the answers, but this video gave me a *lot* more to think about. Thanks, Erik.
Thank you for respecting and appreciating the INFP.
Thanks so much Erik for your wonderful, kind and insightful videos! This INFP thanks you from the bottom of my heart! xo I am exactly at that point of realizing and accepting my INFP ness thanks to people like you!
This is very comforting, thank you
Thankyou, its very validating to hear this as an INFP
Thank you Erik!
65 year old INFP, Enneagram 6, Strengthsfinder :Empathy, interconnectedness, developer, communication and adapter.
Thank you for giving voice and encouraging us to be ourselves and to interact with the world with trust. It makes all the difference!
That was absolutely amazing. So much so, it made me weep with excitement. I swear I can feel your enthusiasm and passion for this topic and I was enthralled. Good stuff. Love & Light.
I tried to be who I was supposed to be. I tried very hard to do as I should so I could do what I wanted. It didn't work. At this point, I choose to be no more or less than myself and if I fail, I fail. I'll take my failure over success by someone else's yardstick.
Good! Check out my video releasing in 10 hrs, its very relevant!
I'm an INFP but I find the ESTJ type very attractive. Yes they can be annoying and scary but I think we love the amount they care about us when they do. How they can push us to be the best version of ourselves. Their strength is just so attractive.
That's because you're a female.
@@ZekeMan62 Actually. This comment was from back when I was very ignorant of MBTI as I had just gotten into it.
After looking deeper into it I realised I'm actually INFJ. Also. I'm not a female lol. Also I really don't think I agree with what I said there. What I appreciate most about STJs in general is their stability.
Have a nice day.
@@kbg12ila Glad you came to that realization.
As soon as I read your comment, I KNEW that you were not an Infp.
As an infp I immediately disagreed with your comment BUT I respected your right to have an opinion and even reevaluate your opinion. Thanks for sharing.
@@crystalbush5273 Haha. That's cool. But tbh I'm sure there are INFPs that have similar opinions. Actually.... Maybe not 😂
@@kbg12ila Bingo ! Maybe not :)
I've always looked at myself as being an extroverted introvert. I am capable of socialization and it can often be fun for me, but its still draining. We're kind of fringe when it comes to social situations. By fringe I mean on the absolute edge of the social circle. The ,"I like to be alone, but I like to be alone surrounded by people," type. We need something to study, since social values are paramount to our own self discovery and our own inner value systems. That's what makes us such great diplomats. Just my opinion though.
Well said
I think I love you lol. You have made me feel something I haven’t felt with any family member or boyfriend in years. Purpose
As an INTP, I'd always gotten the sense, growing up (before I'd even heard of MBTI or any other personality assessment tests), that U.S. values, overall, didn't exactly favor any IN-- 'Philosopher' type. But yes, I'd say the stereotypical INFP man (esp if he's also a [T]urbulent type instead of [A]ssertive) would probably come off as being "a big f'n sissy man" in an ESTx country.
Why ESTx (not J)? Because I believe there are two different basic trains of worldvalue thought: the Te to "Success" & the Se to "Happiness".
1) You live a happy life if you become successful in all you work toward, and gain the respect & prestige due to you from others, in life. (And you're a pathetic loser whenever you're "not DOING anything" in this society.) --my fairly simplistic 'ESTJ' take
2) You're succeeding in life when you live it to the fullest in the moment and make & cherish all the good/fun/happy times you want to keep sharing & having. (And you're a pathetic loser if you're regretful an/or depressed when reflecting on negative experiences whenever you could be immediately putting yourself out there in the here and now instead.) --my fairly simplistic 'ESTP' take.
I was bullied and considered "a loser" a LOT by my peers growing up--and am still considered a "social failure" & a "waste of space who needs a lot of his own" by my ISTJ mom, & a "lost cause" [for happy romantic relationships] who "can only be happy when he's on his own" by my ISFP sister--simply because I'm not "like" them. How sad.
Basically, if you're Se or Te PoLR: Good Luck to you in this life; you're gonna need it. More so if you're also a different race or gender association than the majority of people in power.
I've never been afraid of my emotions, as strong as they are. Actually I think it is more masculine to be able to display and release emotions than pretend like you don't have them.
Russell Clement it doesn’t matter! Look at the world dominated by sensing and judging type people. It only took 100 Years to destroy life on earth! You have to see deeper and think deeper! Pls explore human condition you will be amazed by how messed up all balance and harmony!!! I’m telling you sensing and judging people should not be leaders. They are not wise and intelligent but smart and clever though. Humans are different in the term of evolution stages as well as talent and capability. Capitalism and technology truly messed up beautiful human qualities and value. You want to deny it ? Massive extinction is truly possible at this point! Pls listen to wise and intelligent who see deeper and beyond the surface. One more thing is human beings are a continuum of the body mind and spirit but.....I have faith on the universe and my angel guides me to right direction in b/w across real and spiritual realm!
Human kind isn’t doomed yet instead of whining and complaining about the direction the world is going try and change it. Little things big things opening peoples eyes and doing good things
If you give up as an infp you’re losing yourself to the masses no?
If you lay down and quit nothing will happen use the internet to spread your ideals and morals.
We’re philosophers people will listen once you’ve dug deep enough in yourself. Think about who you were as a child that’s your original authentic self if you lose your way ground yourself to that part of you before the world made you think you weren’t good enough because you are ☺️
Thankyou for this astute and thoughtful video Erik. A very considered reflection of Infp's in a humanistic way that is not as detached as i've found from other types including Infj's reflections on Infp's which can sometimes actually be too disembodied and objectifying. Thankyou for your genuine empathy.
Being an INFP is understanding things deeply but not having the language to explain it because emotions are felt
really love the ending message Erik. "Maybe not ask you to change, but you're so cool, tell me more about yourself, tell me how you work";) INFPs need to hear this.
In an ESTJ world the values an INFP have to offer is of little worth & that's okay. They have their own lives to live & as much as possible, so do you. & Besides, do you really want or can you, be like them? Give thanks to the Lord & embrace your differences.
I am an INFP. I recently stepped out of my character and held an art community at my house. It was a very extroverted thing to, and was very difficult and strange. But I led with my intuitive function, so it was all worthwhile.
Thank you Erik for giving the world a beacon to the INFP's....Im 45 years old and still struggle with life, but your videos on the subject of INFP's have been a life savour for me. thank you
I noticed that being an infp in the crisis is a blessing. My individual inward strength makes it easier for me to go through stuff than for my estj husband. Thank you for your great videos 🌞
I’m a INFP-T, and my Supervisor at work she’s an ESTJ-T and I guessed this highly reflects why I’m scared of my boss 😮😮
I loved the video and comment section... very heartwarming. Thanks to all
I'm an INFP and my mum is an ESTJ. We're complete opposites and butt heads on a daily basis because I always do things differently from the way she wants them done. It's either her way or no way.
Edit: Mum found out that INFP's are also called the dreamers and legit just called me useless heh :(
I had to listen to this (estj) married to an infp...I am impressed with the amount of words you used to say nothing that made sense to me and I really wanted it to. I think it is hard to articulate introverted feeling (It is the shadow part of estj) I think if this is your dominate function you could at least help me to understand the process...it's very hard to compromise and work out things with this personality.
I feel so inspired, thanks so much for this. It lifts us up, and INFPs need that in this world of sensors, who don't understand why we don't join the group and participate in things like the "Ice bucket Challenge." We are outsiders because we don't dance the "macarena" with everyone. They think we are the odd ones because we don't have hive mentality, and unless you join up with that, you can't be part of the group. So we are pretty lonely most of the time. Lonely or not, we refuse to do all that silly stuff.
WOW! You just described exactly where I am at in my life. I went to school to become a mechanic and failed greatly and then found out that I have add and asd which gave me the permission to be different. This week I decided that I was going to do what it takes to get into the art class in cegep. I have always excelled in creativity. By taking art I want to open my horizons and learn more and enjoy it. I am in the process of exploring deeper and enjoying different artistic expressions ( drawing, painting, youtubing, writing). I have stopped caring as much as to where my road will take me but instead focusing on enjoying the ride and just letting myself be myself and learning and healing in the process with professional help which is delightful.
I've gotten so used to following rules and doing things according to how everyone wants me to that I have a hard time letting myself be who I want to be. I'm filled with anxiety about whether something will be seen as "good" by one person or another, or whether things are practical because of how the world has scared me into believing it is the only thing I should focus on. And yet, whenever I try to focus on these things, I'm drained and tired, annoyed, and saddened, because it feels like I'm not in the right place. I'd much rather be thinking about my dreams, hopes, working on projects, and communicating on a deep level with people. I hope I can fight off the toxic perfectionism I was taught out of fear, and accept who I want to be while acknowledging that I'm never going to be perfect and that is okay. Thank you so much, as an INFP, this video really helped me think