Paragraph Structures Are Destroying Top Grades: Here's Why
Vložit
- čas přidán 7. 10. 2023
- Kindle Unlimited lets you read all my ebooks for free for 30 days! amzn.to/2LR8ISl
Sign up to my NEWSLETTER with FREE grade 7-9 resources and top tips mrsalles.substack.com
The channel where 27% of viewers go up 3 grades or more, and another 25% go up 2 grades! Why not you?
Language Guides
Guide to 100% in the Language GCSE amzn.to/2EwpvmG
Guide to Grammar, Punctuation and Spelling amzn.to/2wJT3xH
Guide to Awesome Story Writing: amzn.to/2EQHIwZ
Ultimate Guide to Description (including 20+ Grade 9 Answers!) amzn.to/3Jg8ZYC
Quick Guide to Awesome Description amzn.to/34t1ERe
Ultimate Guide to Persuasive Writing amzn.to/3ch3zxK
Guide to 100% in Language Paper 1 Question 2 amzn.to/3LsRGFt
Guide to 100% in Language Paper 1 Question 3 amzn.to/3Sils1D
Guide to 100% in Language Paper 1 Question 4 amzn.to/3MI4ZCu
Guide to 100% in Language Paper 1 Question 5 amzn.to/3TedzLM
Guide to 100% in Language Paper 2 Question 2 amzn.to/48lS6Zo
Guide to 100% in Language Paper 2 Question 3 amzn.to/46c0VD0
Guide to 100% in Language Paper 2 Question 4 amzn.to/46bqzb1
Literature Guides
Guide to GCSE English Literature amzn.to/2JkpfLC
Guide to An Inspector Calls: amzn.to/2EO6iye
Guide to Jekyll and Hyde amzn.to/34njncR
Ultimate Guide to Macbeth amzn.to/33QJeKf
Ultimate Guide to A Christmas Carol amzn.to/2QvT2Xk
Ultimate Guide to Romeo and Juliet amzn.to/3BNhmpY
Guide to Power and Conflict Poems AQA (11 Grade 9 Essays) amzn.to/3KHDAxK
Books on Teaching and School Leadership
The Full English: How to be a brilliant English teacher amzn.to/3vXcq1y
The Slightly Awesome Teacher: amzn.to/2q7Z1ks
The Unofficial Ofsted Survival Guide amzn.to/2Uivxk1
How to Differentiate Your School amzn.to/3drteTm
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases, so I can keep prices to my guides very low. They are much more informative and more detailed than every other guide at the same price.
Want to buy resources from my videos?
Visit my shop on TES: www.tes.com/teaching-resource...
If you want to get resources more cheaply, or to book me for any CPD, visit my website: theslightlyawesometeacher.com/
guys listen to every thing this man says he got me from a grade 3 to a grade 7 and barely put work and i dont even remember even writing 1 practise essay just watching the vids was a huge w on its own
Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end.
@@user-dy3wg3xl8wthat’s just not how that works
Me and my class are always complaining about how there isn't enough time to write a bunch of massive paragraphs when doing an exam, I should give this a try. Points mean prizes :)
Exactly!
Hi sir I want to say thank you for helping me get grade 9 in literature this year. I was grazing grade 7 in previous mocks but your final analysis and predictions definitely helped me get grade 9. I actually got 157/160 by far the highest in my school which I absolutely did not expect. I would love to try give you my essays but I’ve asked for my papers and am not allowed access to them. One thing I do want to say though is my teacher also helped with his unique take on structure. He says just do an intro and 2 paragraphs for every essay (except poetry). The introductions would include themes, intentions, synopsis and a critic opinion. And for the main paragraphs I would have to use a quote from the extract and fully analyse it then in the same paragraph I would have to link to another quote from elsewhere in the story and show the progression. I really like my teachers method because I’m not very fast at writing so just a prewritten intro (with 2 sentences linking to theme of question) and 2 paragraphs helped me finish every question.
Also mr everything’s trick to prewrite language q5 helped me get grade 9 in language because I had a prewritten grade 9 story that can easily be linked to the question with a few changes and regurgitated in 30 minutes, saving me 15 minutes for the rest of the paper.
Summary- I got almost full marks by doing intro and 2 paragraphs.
Yes, that approach will definitely work.
It sounds like a very easy structure, but actually it has a lot of moving parts! Your introduction is very complex - what level of synopsis, and which critical opinion?
Then each paragraphs is also highly complex.
Your quote paragaph demands that you have so many things to say about a single quote. How many explanations is enough to "fully analyse"? Then the second paragraph requires you to do the same with a later quote from the text, with the same issues.
You need to be super smart with this approach - in other words, if you can write in that much depth, you are already very articulate and perceptive. However, it is not likely to get a student from grade 4 or 5 to grade 8 and 9 - it is just too hard. My techniques are designed to move students on massively.
It is also not real English Literature writing, as it doesn't teach you how to build an argument as an essay, or vice versa. I'm also keen to give students skills which are worthwhile.
I'm delighted it worked for you though, and congratulations on your grades and improvement.
I like the sound of this structure, do you have any examples of it?
@@fmb2k I got rid of all my English resources after gcse but I can show you my prewrriten intro that I used in literature: I have a Christmas carol, Romeo and Juliet so tell me if you need any of them
Here’s the intro
Kim Ballard in her essay examining thematic considerations within Romeo & Juliet comments that: 'it is a part of Juliet's tragedy that she is unable to inform her authoritarian father of her marriage to Romeo', leading audience members to consider whether the untimely deaths of Romeo & Juliet were a result of generational conflict, gender conflict, societal and familial disagreement, and even concepts surrounding fate. In some instances, it is even the very love the 'star-cross'd lovers' have for one another that leads to their demise as critics argue that the two lovers prompt the audience to ponder who we become when influenced by love. Therefore, the audience question what sacrifices they may make for love and how they change when in the presence of the one they love, creating a divide in the audience as they wonder whether the love between Romeo and Juliet was worth the destruction left in its wake as both titular characters end succumbing to love induced injuries. To elaborate, the play is deliberately set in Verona as, at the time, Britain was in religious and political turmoil. Shakespeare may be attempting to criticise the British for lacking the values for love that the Italians venerate whilst highlighting the conflict and tragedy that entails when that love is contained.
(Try manipulate the intro a bit to link to the question wherever you can)
For Edexcel, it's now PEARL - reader's response is important. Naming the technique is less important, although good if you can. 😊
Hello! Just wanted to deeply thank u for all of the hard work you do for us, so we can improve! I am a Ukrainian refugee, came to the UK school at the end of Year 10 - knew nothing about English exams. Was constantly predicted 3s and 4s in Language and Literature, however, never lost faith, watched your videos, made notes, listened to your advises rather than my teachers and got a high 9 in Literature and 8 in Language! Also to add, your videos were not just helpful to get the grades, but also got me to love Literature and now I am doing my wider researchers on many of the topics! So so so grateful Mr Salles for your help:) Never give up and never lose faith in yourself, work hard!
Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end.
Wow, what a success story. I am so impressed by your determination. My family lost everything when I was 10, we moved country and then when I was 11 we got deported as illegal immigrants. Starting again was hard. You are amazing. Thank you for keeping faith with my teaching.
@user-dy3wg3xl8w are you joking?
absolutely agree. am going to send this to a student who really needs it, thank you.
Thank you
@@MrSallesTeachesEnglish Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end.
@@user-dy3wg3xl8w no, that 100% is not how it works
Hello Sir,
I have recently received my finalised GCSE results after sitting them in June as part of last year’s cohort. I received a grade 9 in both literature and language and full marks (96/96) on my English Literature paper 2! I wanted to know if you would like my paper 2 script to use in one of your videos (for reference I competed: An Inspector Calls, Love and Relationships Anthology and the Unseen poetry). These grades were partly due to your own dedication and tenacious attitude in publishing a plethora of useful videos on my texts, so thank you!!
That would be amazingly generous! You can email me through Substack, or the About tab on my channel
@dannaulls1181 broooo, please tell me where did you get your analysis for the love and relationships poems???
Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end.
@@MrSallesTeachesEnglish
@MrSallesTeachesEnglish Please do more of the love and relationship poems! (Day 1)
Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end.
Hi sir! Thank you for your videos, I was just wondering if you plan to do any more grade 9 / close to full mark answers of Paper 1 Q5 Language, especially the story?
glazing is crazy
Yes I will
Thank you sir I went from grade 2's in both lang and lit to a grade 6
Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end.
You’re amazing!!!
my teacher's always taught me to use a petal structure for literature papers, where you embed one quote and write a lot about a little. However, I realised that means that you can only analyse 1 quote per paragraph, and in general you will only have 3-4 paragraphs. I watched your video on how to get a level 9, and saw that you mentioned that you need to refer to at least 15 quotes. Therefore, should I scrap the petal structure, and start writing using more quotes (e.g. 3 quotes per paragraph, linking them together) without following a structure like you mentioned in the video above? Obviously I'll still try to hit all AOs but which one do you think is better?
You can do it with PETAL, but it is just much harder. 13 - 15 quotes are typical, but they are not all analysed. Some are, but others double up - first a longer quote, then zooming in on the word. Top answers simply dive in to the points they need to make, and back them up with the quotes they need. They ditch all paragraph structures, and simply group their ideas in paragraphs.
Try it, and compare it to PETAL. If Petal gives you higher marks - keep using it. If neither get you a grade 8 or 9, keep practising my method.
Hello mr Salles! Your videos have helped me to prepare to my upcoming exams a lot,and I’ve done lots of practice using your methods to write essays. Three one of my pre planned story essays for language paper 1 question 5. Do you mind marking it?
In the early hours of dawn, the sun stretched its golden fingers across the sky, painting the clouds with hues of pink and orange as if nature herself was orchestrating a symphony of colors. The breeze whispered through the trees, urging the world to awaken from its slumber.
A solitary robin sang its morning melody, a sweet serenade to greet the day.
With a yawn and a stretch, the sleepy town stirred to life, bustling with activity like a hive of industrious bees, each person eager to seize the day's possibilities.Coffee sizzled and bubbled in pots, filling the air with its rich aroma, tempting even the most reluctant of risers to partake in its invigorating embrace.
"Isn't it amazing," she murmured, her voice soft yet filled with wonder, "how each day holds the promise of something extraordinary?"
The streets buzzed with life as people hurried about their daily routines, their footsteps mingling with the chirping of birds and the distant hum of traffic.
Her Morning town was filled with sound and chaos. The cars are washing the children laughing and cold early morning wind rustling through rustling the trees. The minuscule skyscrapers towered upon the ordinary people making them seem like a tiny hard-working ants critically bothered with their lives.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the horizon, the town settled into a peaceful slumber once more, a gentle lullaby to bid farewell to the day.
is there a different structure to anwering edexcel questions compared to aqa
Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end.
Sir, I'm in year 11 now and studying for my mocks, do we use PETZEEL or no structure? Wouldn't abolishing the structure make you lose marks?
Try a practice answer and find out. Get your teacher to mark it
Hi, do you have any good tips for poetry?
5 Top Tips for Poetry Comparison
Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end.@@MrSallesTeachesEnglish
Mr. salles, I got 32/34 in an inspector calls gcse, and I got 28/30 in my poetry gcse. Can you tell me why I didn't get full marks?
Examiners have different opinions, they can be strict or generous
@IntelligenceQuotientPlayz Yeah, I didn't think my answer was amazing, so maybe they were generous 😅
mr salis do you do English tuition it would be really helpful If you do as currently im a grade 4 in English year 11 but with year help I cna get to a 9 so please let me know
sorry for my spelling
I'm filming courses which will do this for each question, as these will be much cheaper than paying for my time. They will start coming out this year.
Nice video
Can we use pretzel like mr EE?
You can use any of them. Prtezel also includes the Z for zoom, so it forces you to analyse.
Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end.
@@Diana-xg3rt
Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end. @MrSallesTeachesEnglish
I know this is not relevant but should i still be watching urs and mr everything English videos because i am now doing LIFT 2.0 with edexel and i asked my teacher if i should continue watching or not but her answer didn't really answer the question so that is why i am asking you
You should be doing past papers. I am also sitting 2.0 in November! Good luck
@@MrSallesTeachesEnglish thx, i will do past papers and watch urs and mr everything english videos for info i can use to be ready for resits
hello mr salles, thank you for ur amazing videos! my mocks are very soon can u pls give me some brief feadback on this short essay on how inequality is presented in a christmas carol:
In his novella a Christmas carol, dickens reveals to his readers the extent of inequality in society and warns them about the social responsibility and the impact their behavior has on the lives of the poor.
Dickens presents inequality as prevalent in society. Fred describes Christmas as “the only time when [the upper classes] thought of those below them as fellow passengers to the grave and not another race of creatures”. Here the contrast between unity and equality and division and discrimination alludes to the dismissive attitudes of the upper classes and their feelings of superiority over the poor. Due to the class divide present in the Victorian era, there was a large disparity between the upper classes who lived in wealth and comfort and the lower classes who lived in poverty and suffering. The dismissive attitude Is reinforced by the description of the poor as “creatures” which implies that they were treated in an inhuman way. Perhaps Dickens is trying to imply that this poor treatment of the lower classes is unnatural and immoral, therefore inviting his readers to reject such views. Furthermore, when approached by the charity workers to help the poor, scrooge says “if the poor had rather die, they had better do it and decrease the surplus population.”. This echos the belief of Thomas Malthus that charity would only cause the poor to be idle and increase poverty and as a result the population. Dickens uses scrooge who is a proxy for the rich upper classes to display these views in order to reveal the extent of injustice to and therefore the suffering of the poor. A Victorian reader feel sympathy for the poor and begin to reject their aporophobic views of the poor as they are held by scrooge who is presented and cruel and immoral.
Dickens presents inequality in society as a consequence of the greed and lack of social responsibility of the upper classes through the character of Fezziwig who acts as a foil to scrooge. Though both men re rich employers, scrooge chooses to give his employee bob, “a fire that looked like one coal” and make him work in “a dismal little cell” while Fezziwig provides scrooge and his other employees with a fire that was “heaped with fuel” and a “snug, warm warehouse” to work in. Here the juxtaposition between the lack of warmth and the abundance of fire reflects the difference between the kindness of Fezziwig and the cold cruelty of scrooge. Furthermore, it shows the difference between the miserly attitude of scrooge and the generosity of Fezziwig and teaches the readers about consequences of their greed on the poor; such as bob Cratchit. During the Victorian era it was common for upper class business owners to underpay their employees which were often of the lower classes. Dickens could also be trying to show his readers how their thoughts and actions towards the poor impacted their lives, and how each and every reader has the choice to either positively impact the live of the poor like Fezziwig or exploit the poor and make them suffer like scrooge does.
Dickens presents inequality through his anthropomorphic description of ignorance and want. The children are described as “yellow, meagre and ragged”, creating a semantic field of contamination implying that the inequality in society has caused the children to be sick and their childhood purity to perish. During the Victorian era, the upper classes lived in wealth but payed their lower-class employees small insufficient wages, which meant that the poor remained in poverty. The children also “prostrated in their humility”. Here the verb “prostrate” echos the language of the bible, suggesting that despite their poor condition the children still able to have morals and strong faith. Perhaps dickens wanted to critisise the belief that the poor were immoral and undeserving which was a commonly held belief at the time due to the poor law. Moreover, Dicken’s makes children, who are a symbol of freedom and innocence “prostrate”; implying that they are begging; to invite his upper-class readers who would have most likely had children of their own to relate with the poor and therefore sympathise with them as they wouldn’t want their children to go through the same horrible experience
This essay is really good. I would give it a high grade 7. You've got some level 4-6 A03 context and you've clearly added onto your points. Points to improve in my opinion: I think You could have talked more about the writers techniques and Dickens own purpose and why he really does what he does along with some personal context. As well as i think you quickly move on to adding onto other points eg. "Furthermore..." while i think you could have added to your previous point a lot more. Other than that its really great.
@@KD_mmilz thank u so much
Really helpful feedback
I forgot that I even made this comment 😅
Thank u so much🥰
Hi
Hey, if you purposely do badly in the mock English exams, it might cause the grade requirements to drop. This could make the actual GCSE exams easier. The government wants more people to pass, so failing the mock might help you do better in the end.
Lets start with a metaphore. Starts with a simile
So true- it wasn’t like that till I had to edit it!
listen to everything he says guys got me a 9 in lit I got a 5 in my November mocks as well, plz don't follow a paragraph structure as mr Salles is saying, its restricting you from getting top marks
Thanks!
Everyone listen to mr sales. I went from a 3 to an 8. Also as the vid says, paragraph structures are extremely limiting.
Than is and well done