Every Zero Punctuation 2012
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- čas přidán 1. 08. 2019
- Every 2012 Zero Punctuation episode with no punctuation.
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"YES BUT I DON'T FIND MYSELF TERRIBLY ENGAGING AS A CHARACTER, I'M QUITE THE BELLEND."
Every single time that makes me fucking wheeze. Every single stupid time.
It’s the little slunk spurt coming from his hat that really makes it.
Just realized that Yahtz like Specs Ops: The Line so much he didn't even complain that Walker is voiced by Nolan North.
Going back, it’s so strange to hear Yahtzee dismissive of Dark Souls, knowing that today he regularly bows at the altar of dodge roll
It's also interesting seeing the 3DS being dismissed and hated on.
People are allowed to change their minds 😉
@@andrewmontague9682 It was not overhyped. It failed to win GOTY even in RPG category from multiple sites to Skyrim and the Witcher 2. It only gains traction when its dedicated fan base start to annoy everyone to give it a try.
@@andrewmontague9682 I too hate it when people change their minds about something and refuse to stagnate. I mean, their original viewpoint aligned with mine, so it's obviously the correct viewpoint and any change or deviation thereof is automatically wrong because I am right.
*Let people enjoy things you miserable, self-important tosspot. Dark Souls isn't my kind of thing either, but at least I don't demonise people that like it*
People don't like change, as it seems. It's probably seen as the devil's work, and anyone who deviates from the status quo is damned to rot in Hell. Or at least seen as wrong.
"What I say goes. I'm right, you're wrong. You're stupid for disagreeing with me in the first place, and you were probably dropped as a baby, and molested by your uncle." And ad infinitum, if you so much as hint that you disagree with their opinion and way of thinking.
0:00 Serious Sam 3: BFE
4:56 Yahtzee’s 2011 Best & Worst
9:55 Super Mario 3D Land / Rayman Origins
14:40 Sonic Generations
19:35 Star Wars: The Old Republic
24:19 Amy
29:09 Resident Evil: Revelations
33:42 The Darkness II
38:20 Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning
43:07 NeverDead
48:03 Syndicate (2012)
52:56 Mass Effect 3
57:38 Twisted Metal (2012)
1:02:32 Yakuza: Dead Souls
1:07:37 Ninja Gaiden 3
1:12:46 Silent Hill: Downpour
1:17:40 Kid Icarus: Uprising
1:22:32 Fez / I Am Alive
1:27:21 Prototype 2
1:32:07 Risen 2: Dark Waters
1:36:55 Black Mesa Radio w/ MC Croshaw
1:38:30 Sniper Elite V2
1:43:20 Diablo III
1:48:11 Max Payne 3
1:53:12 Dragon’s Dogma
1:58:10 E3 2012
2:02:59 Lollipop Chainsaw
2:08:13 Quantum Conundrum
2:13:04 Spec Ops: The Line
2:18:09 The Walking Dead
2:23:11 Inversion
2:28:11 The Amazing Spider-Man
2:33:01 Half-Life
2:37:49 Wreckateer / Deadlight
2:42:29 Steam Roundup - Unmechanical / Orcs Must Die! 2 / The Book of Unwritten Tales
2:47:36 Sleeping Dogs
2:52:15 Darksiders II
2:57:03 DayZ
3:02:11 Guild Wars 2
3:07:03 Borderlands 2
3:11:54 FIFA 13 (sort of)
3:16:47 Resident Evil 6
3:21:50 Dishonored
3:26:39 XCOM: Enemy Unknown
3:31:14 Medal of Honor: Warfighter / Doom 3: BFG Edition
3:36:15 Assassin’s Creed III
3:40:53 Halo 4
3:45:28 Call of Duty: Black Ops II
3:50:25 Hitman: Absolution
3:54:56 Far Cry 3
3:59:44 ZombiU
Gods work
ty
PIN THIS!
Much obliged, friend.
My hero
Welp, as it turns out, telltale did not have time for themselves in the end.
And now reborn as probably some thing better I hope .... nah
Good. Let them burn.
Not usually a "wow look how this joke gained a new meaning in the years passed dude deepp", but still almost oomphed uncontrollably at "telltale carries on a whole bunch of stuff and maybe themselves if they're up to" bit.
"He a turrorist." ~Yahtzee
I don't know why, but it never fails to crack me up...
His Spec Ops: The Line review is just as poignant and haunting today as it was nearly a decade ago. A shame he was wrong about video games growing up. :/
I always thought it marked a change in his reviewing. I don't know what changed after that review but subconsciously, I feel that there was some change in the subsequent reviews. Thankfully, the quality at least stayed consistent, if not mostly improved.
Watching these reviews one right after another really demonstrates how well the ending theme song emphasizes Yahtzee's final quip, making it stick in your mind. It's not the same without it.
Yeah but I reeeeally think they need to turn the volume down a bit. The contrast is off
@@parky004 That damn music volume has bothered me since day one. I still love ZP, but it's like *funny ending joke*
*EAR RAPE*
The music sucks. The mix is awful and its so so tedious hearing it every 5 minutes
What stands out to me is his first review of the year, where he despairs the lack of retro-style shooters, knowing that now they're all over the place and he himself has said so.
I like when the first frame of Yahtzee at his desk in one review is the same as the final frame of the review before it. Like 1:02:28 - 1:02:33
It's as if Yahtzee is simply changing the subject during a four hour effort to tell me about the games he played in 2012.
And every 5 minutes he clears his throat and changes sound slightly
Even better when the pose is the same, and you have to wonder for a sec if that was the closing joke or not.
yahtzee records all the segments at the beginning of the year in one big video and just doles them out as the year goes on
There needs to be a button marked "I already own Jam, so knock it off with the ads."
Zp 2012 Timestamps
0:00 Serious Sam 3
4:56 Best and Worst of 2011
9:56 Super Mario 3d Land & Rayman Origins
14:40 Sonic Generations
19:35 Star Wars: The Old Republic
24:19 Amy
29:08 Resident Evil: Revelations
33:41 The Darkness: 2
38:20 Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning
43:07 Neverdead
48:03 Syndictae (2012)
52:56 Mass Effect 3
57:38 Twisted Metal (2012)
1:02:32 Yakuza: Dead Souls
1:07:37 Ninja Gaiden 3
1:12:46 Silent Hill: Downpour
1:17:40 Kid Icarus: Uprising
1:22:32 Fez
1:25:15 I Am Alive
1:27:20 Prototype 2
1:32:07 Risen 2: Dark Waters
1:38:19 Sniper Elite v2
1:43:19 Diablo III
1:48:11 Max Payne 3
1:53:08 Dragons dogma (June 2012)
1:58:09 E3 2012
2:02:59 Lollipop chainsaw
2:08:13 Quantum conundrum
2:13:04 Spec ops: the line
2:18:09 The Walking Dead
2:23:10 Inversion
2:28:11 Amazing Spiderman 2
2:33:01 Half Life 1
2:37:49 Wreckateer
2:40:26 Deadliest
2:42:29 Unmechanical
2:44:05 Orcs must die 2
2:45:17 The Book of Unwritten Tales
2:47:35 Sleeping dogs
2:52:16 Darksiders 2
2:57:03 DayZ
3:02:11 Guild Wars 2
3:07:03 Borderlands 2
3:11:15 Fifa 13
3:12:16 Mark of the Ninja
3:14:01 Anna
3:15:31 Tokyo Jungle
3:16:46 Resident Evil 6
3:21:50 Dishonored
3:26:38 XCOM: Enemy Unknown
3:31:13 Medal of Honor: Warfighter
3:33:29 DOOM 3: BFG Edition spunkgargleweewee
3:36:15 Assassin's Creed 3
3:40:52 Halo 4
3:45:28 CoD Black Ops 2
3:50:25 Hitman: Absolution
3:54:55 Far Cry 3
3:59:44 ZombiU
Very good
I’m watching this on my phone and as soon as I clicked play I accidentally dropped and caught my phone and it skipped a large chuck of the video so the first thing I hear is “they got a neck like 2 mating dolphin “ this is why I watch zero punctuation best laugh I had all day
Seems like ZP had nothing to do with your best laugh of the day it could of been any funny out of context sentence. Give yourself a hand credit where credits due you did all the work dont be humble but i certainly dont believe that is why you watch ZP more likely you find enjoyment in his comedic critique style of review i can read you like a book i know what your going to do before you yourself do i know you like the back of my hand you cant lie to me i van always tell
1:30:55
Be careful what you wish for Yahtzee.
JC4?
Bethesda: _Say no more_
Takes me back to a happy year. I saw 90% of these then and they're still just as good.
Ah, 2012... back when we thought the world would end quickly, such a hopeful time
@@ExpandDong420it's lasting too long...
1:36:54
I know I shouldn't pointlessly ask for more post credit bits like this but I would enjoy them if he ever makes them again
You ever wonder the name of the guy who keeps getting used for the "stock generic face"
One of photographer Thomas Ruff's "Expressionless Faces". After a fair bit of research I'm pretty confident that the dude in frame is artist Michael van Ofen.✌
@@effdiffeyeno171 rock on, fella 🎸
Looks like Bruce Forsyth to me
The half life train ride bit was hilarious
I keep reading this every 15 minutes and my drunk brain doesn't realize it's the same video.
@@ryancue7809 this is a unique and uniquely hilarious comment.
Time stamp, I know it’s a dick thing to say but this video is 3 hours long I might skip it
1:36:54
@@coolbrotherj hero.
I think the best quote I have ever heard is "As ethically restrained as Josef Stalin playing with his bath toys!"
Weird
Loos ml Flasche Sekt k können um kk
Loos ml Flasche Sekt k können um kk
Könnte es zu einer kleinen Stadt Krk und noch
Komm MAMMA ml k können kk k km
2:04:00 Watching this in 2020 it’s hilarious hearing you joke about James Gunn being obscure.
God remember when 2020 was innocent in the beginning?
All these videos do is remind me about lots of really nice games I played or wanted to play and make me, well, go and play them. Thanks Yatz!
what games are those?
@@Aota1740 Dishonored, portal, lolipop chain saw, infamous, borderlands, darksiders to name a few. I never played swtor or kotor, but now I want to.
Anna did a Thingy KOTOR is definitely recommended. SWTOR is...well, at least it’s free-though, the free-to-play model restricts a lot. It can be kind of fun to be an alien cat Sith, but who only makes light side choices.
Thanks for reminding me to buy Jam 10 billion times when I had already bought it
@@ohsweatbret Exactly. Also, they leave in jokes about racism, domestic violence, and so on, but apparently us gays are too delicate of flowers that we can't handle a line like 'incidentally, I am still not gay.'
Was it good?
@@qdllc I thought it was pretty good
A true Zero puncutation fan would have bought a million copies of Jam.
@@inciaradible7144 one isn't connected to the other... The Escapist doesn't earn money from selling copies of Jam, but they do censor some of the jokes for the sake of CZcams's monetisation policies. And even that 'still not gay' joke change is likely to be because YT gets nervous when anything related to being gay shows up on their platform, not because the joke is even objectionable...
Huh! I've definitely been a watcher/follower of Yatzhee for a long time to realise that a joke had to be (understandably) out out at 14:43.
(For those who are wondering: The joke would have been, "After huge piles of games come out in the lead-up to Christmas, all fighting to be the game little Timmy finds under the tree which will one day inspire his high school massacre-")
Oh damn thats a good one though but understandable
@@sexypianonotes6212 no it's not, if they cut out one joke they might as well cut out all of them
@@tommerker8063 yeah you're right we really shouldn't watch these compilation videos at all because really we're compromising our own senses of humor.
@@johnmorrell3187 Being as dense as you are should be a crime but like joke censorship, it unfortunately isn't.
@@tommerker8063 I hope you're less insane nowadays.
"Fuck aroundy makey super murder" caught me way off-guard lmao
14:43 They unconvincingly cut out a joke there.
I noticed that too
Very irritating...
"...that will one day inspire his high school massacre."
3:41:04 Same here. It's so weird to pull these bits specific, it's like airbrushing nipples out of a picture of an orgy
I wondered if anybody else noticed this, good to see I’m not misremembering these episodes
I also noticed they cut the punchline but not the jokes. Weird.
Well I've been treating these videos like podcasts while I work or play games and I got to say I'm really enjoying it. Good work Yahtzee
Playing dark souls will hear him talk about doge rolling in the game that I’m actively playing is quite fun as background noise
11:51 Oh God, I'll see that in my nightmares.
3:00:38 Been awhile since I've seen this review, but it's the first time I genuinely laughed out loud at the piper bit.
Ahhh... Always a treat when I hear that "I am a banana" phrase
Man, that schpiel about Telltale in the Walking Dead review sure hasn't aged well
Joe Nelly 2:18:10
Sweet, already watched the other summaries multiple times
ahaahhhaha praising watchdogs trailer hahahaha
hahahaha
haha
ha
heh
@@Jeff-fe8rf Shame that the watchdogs gameplay trailer was a lie and constructed exclusively for that event and they knowingly replaced gameplay from the actual game as a marketing strategy to increase sales
Like for Dead Island 1 and 2.
That kevin spacey joke in halo 4 review aged like milk on a summer day
just finished 2k11 today, thanks a bunch
The fuck does basketball have to do with this?
Tehee
@@TheReZisTLust TeFuckYourself
2011 is literally the same length and easier to type than 2k11
Those games are STILL spunkgargleweewee.
Low key, 1:36:55 is one of the funniest things Yahtz has ever written.
What is the context for this bit?
@@Pratanjali64 It’s just him over the Half Life intro.
@@kurei2001 I got that. I mean, like, was this some bonus content of a ZP episode? (like the "random documents and audio logs" song?)
@@Pratanjali64 Yup.
Who is Kingdoms of Amalur for? IT'S FOR ME YATZEE! I LOVE PLAYING AS A LETHAL BEYBLADE!
Actually... Its for Ellen.
Can I interest you in Reaper from overwatch, and Salvador from borderlands 2
@@hypergrad2254 how is A dual wielding midget like a beyblade?
@@TheReZisTLust two spin guns and a lot of wiggle room
@@hypergrad2254 that's... What is a beyblade to you?
This will get me through the last four hours of my day. Thank you Yahtzee!
Genuinely thought that sentence was going to end with "life" and made me laugh at my weird brain.
@@kungfuskull oh wow! Lmao
43:20 hilarious voice crack
This a trip
"If you're going to get pumped, get pumped for [Watch_Dogs]." That statement did not age well.
I think that was the last time we heard him somewhat excited for E3, I don't blame him because it was a great setup, and the rug pull wasn't subtle at all.
Every Zero Punctuation has a censor bar with something hilarious on it.
God I love the dry and crud humor even after all this time.
PS I hope to see him play hand simulator and find that special achievement.
I hate that the escapist feels the need to edit out Yatzee's "gay" jokes. despite them not actualy being gay jokes, but a poke at people that are too insecure with their own masculinity. Also despite Yatzee stance that true tolerance is being able to take any joke simply as a joke, and not instantly assume ill intent.
this is just to avoid advertising getting pulled since these videos have so many ad breaks, they're clearly fine with yahtzee making gay jokes since they still host his videos. if they wanted to make an actual moral stand they'd edit/remove those as well
@Felix Porter Sure but they were also released 5-6 years ago when people still thought gay jokes were acceptable, I seriously doubt it's anyone's job at escapist to go back through and retroactively figure out what they would allow on their platform especially since they have their own site
@@xanax6008 are you saying that now gay jokes aren't acceptable? As long as it's actually a joke and not meant to just belittle gay people then it's all good
@@eldritchstories1461 just because a joke isn't "meant" to belittle a group of people doesn't mean those people aren't insulted
@@Flowtail That sounds more like a "you" problem at that point. If "those people" understand the intent behind the words aren't negative, why get offended?
Currently making my way through all of these
He makes it sound like a half joke, but Steel Battalion was LITERALLY unplayable. I have no idea how they didn't get sued out the ass for that game.
Wait A Minute Am I Pimping?
Pimpin’ ain’t easy
2:19:13 - WELP. Wasn't enough time in the day.
My body is ready my sleeping cycle is not...
seeing the shade of yellow change near the end of the video gave me fucking whiplash
his spider-man review really makes you feel like yahtzee
Why the hell did the person who made this include EVERY mention of Yahtzee’s novel Jam? Like, I heard it the first six freaking times, man
I've watched every episode of ZP several times and I just caught the Tennis for Two joke now 1:27:19
1:36:56 BLACK MESA RADIO STATION!
The year is 2024. I still have not played Far Cry 3. I only know about it from Yatzee's ZP and cultural osmosis.
I sit in the waiting room at the doctor's to figure out if I have to be referred to a specialist so I'm quite tense and suddenly my brain just goes
"Watch out for Vaas, he'll enslave your arse" 😂
Thinking back to Diablo, a game with giant spiders wearing flat caps and wielding pipe wrenches has a lot of potential. I'm just saying.
"I, am a banana"
And I’m still mad that there was never a third KOTOR.
As am I sir. As am I.
Yeah the lack of Western RPGs in general is depressing.
There has been muttering of there being a third one being made
@@dylanhill5141 I hope it aint streamlined
Movie 1st unless it flops
We all would love to be plowed up and down the garden path.
I'll stick with the "every zp of 20__" compilations that have been up for ages and aren't censored. Cheers.
Don't tell them that. NotLikeThis
@@Dice12K fair point
@@hanyoukimura they censor any "edgy" lines. Ridiculous really.
@@hanyoukimura
Well, go to the original upload for Sonic Generations and watch the start and pay attention to"under the little tree" and then go to 14:42 in this video. That's one example.
Don't mention that, cos they may also see that the versions already up are ad free as well :O
The birth of Spunkgargleweewee
I learned how to slow it down. The third reason I liked.
It's weird that people even notice its censored like have you acc memorised every zp episode ever 👽
As a long time fan, there's a rhythm and flow to his writing and delivery, and though I don't have every punchline memorized, there's a noticable vacancy after his set-ups
The BFE at the end of Serious Sam 3 I think is meant to stand for "bum-fucked Egypt"
Missing the opportunity for 3D Princess Peach cheesecake shots? Trying to convince us that the 3DS wasn't a bad idea? If Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson isn't what 3D technology was made for, then I don't know what is.
Thank you Yahtzee
i miss the yahtzee19 content
Me too. I keep seeing 'Yahtzee and someone I've never heard of play x' videos but I just know they won't be as fun as Yahtzee insulting Gabe.
@@thomaskirkness-little5809 The Gabe you once knew is dead. Beard-Gabe killed him long ago.
@@thomaskirkness-little5809 The only videos I've seen with that title are the "Yahtzee and Kess" streams. Most of the others only have Yahtz in the title.
@@vdesatch6273 I see Yahtzee and Kess and Yahtzee and Vie. I have no idea who either is. I've also seen Yahtzee and his girlfriend, who I also don't know.
@@thomaskirkness-little5809 Kess *is* Yahtzee's girlfriend. Or I think wife at this point.
Wow they removed the joke from the halo 4 review "the old pope and I had an agreement: I fuck alter boys and he'd hush it up."
I hate that they removed this joke. It's not even like yahtzee came up with it, it's just a description of what actually happens in real life.
Oh no
*insert unassailable argument that Yahtzee is automatically biased against Nintendo*
1:39:00 The russian girl says "I hate you"
2:01:11
- "DEAD SPACE 3!? Fuck off!!!
We made a sequel that no one liked
'Cause we dumped it down too much 'cause we're thick.
Want the real no punctuation? every FPS= it's not half life, every horror game = it's not silent hill 2.
6:43 "Of course, if they do go on to make an InFamous 3, I'm going to retroactively take this award away and give it to Minecraft or something." You heard it here folks, Minecraft.
Can anyone see what "The Device" actually is? 38:20
Awesome
5:42 wonder what he thinks about skyrim now, in hindsight...
2020 blows. At least I can enjoy Yatz hate stuff that was rehashed 6 ways to Sunday (and scattered, smothered, diced, chunked, and covered for shits and giggles) halfway through the preceding bipolar decade. Who knew how bad things could get???
Bahaha...Warfighter
It's funny how half of the comments for this video are people pointing out observations Yahtzee makes that ended up being ironic or incorrect with the benefit of hindsight, while the other half are people complaining that jokes from 7 years ago that didn't age well have gotten edited out of the video.
How is that funny? You're just accurately describing the comment section with no joke or punch line.
@@poika22 Everybody is commenting on things that we know are wrong with the benefit of hindsight. In the case of the predictions or statements about a game company/franchise, the comments tend to be amused. In the case of the poorly aged jokes that got edited out of this video, the comments are angry.
People are laughing at the serious statements and getting angry about the jokes. Pretty standard ironic humor, no punchline necessary.
@@kingofsting19 I understand all that. My question was: "How is that funny?". Since, you know, you started your comment with "It's funny how..."
@@poika22 It's very basic situational irony. You should go look it up, rather than auditing my comments like a pedant.
@@kingofsting19 You're the one who should look up the definition of "irony" because what you're describing is not ironic in any way.
That Watch Dogs quote did not age well
I tried DayZ a long time ago...shortly after it got an independent launch iirc...and had a pair of dudes stop me, handcuff me, and began stealing all my stuff...clothes included...at which point I started "screaming" 'rape' and a small handful of other players came and killed them and let me go...easily the funniest online interaction I've ever had
Aww you cut the second Pope joke?
Ha, that black mess clip gave me nostalgia
2:19:14
Hilariously that was the one thing they couldn't keep going
Appreciate the uploads. I thought I'd heard every episode and it's super interesting to catch old ones for the first time. No, I don't care if a few off-colour jokes got left out.
It shouldn't be up to censors to determine what is good comedy. Period.
@@DTfan43 Oh no, they left out a school shooting joke! The absolute lack of integrity!! I wonder what life you have if this is the sort of thing you get upset over. You'll understand once you're older than 14. Maybe. Hopefully.
@@jessh4016 I'm 30 dipshit, and no, fuck censorship of the arts. Comedy, off-color or not, is supposed to shine a light on the issues in our world (I get that sometimes it doesn't, but it's supposed to) and to censor them is to deny they exist. It also doesn't help that CZcams is up to their neck in advertisers trying to dictate how this platform should run. You think you got me, but you didn't.
Sweet.
Looking at his Amazing Spider-Man review and how many mouse ears there were, I wonder whether Yahtzee knew about the Disney/Sony deal before it actually happened.
I would pay yahtzee to do more black mesa radio. Holy crap XD
How's it feel that an entire year's worth of work can be boiled down into 4 hours?
Worth it
Movies take longer to make and most aren't as good as this.
impress about as well as incontinent st. bernard at a dry cat festival, oof
3:39:16 😂😂😂
Hey I guess we are going back to out roots
25:45 is my favorite clip
Ay, I'm from Derbyshire!
1:36:55 Black Mesa radio
Cookies? - Baked
Lights? - Off
Headset? - On
Hotel? - Trivago
It's Zero Punctuation time.
1:22:37 LOL
14:42 you thought you could just censor a innapropiate joke and nobody would notice
HA NICE TRY
And yet 5 seconds later he makes a rape joke. They seem to be a bit cavalier on what does and doesn't get censored.
The reason I understand on the topic of "Why we're censoring" is that back in 2012 (or earlier), people could take a freakin' joke. Fast forward to 2019 and no one can take a joke. The concept of "liquidized school children" back then is nothing more than a reference to "that's how horrible it is people!" but NOW? Now it's like "oh my god, he must a psychopath or trying to put ideas in children heads, oh no! Take him down along with that history teacher who has informative videos on WWII but they have the Nazi sign so they must be promoting Nazis."
@@Dice12K Dunno if it's new, in 2004 I remember history class in the library and we were told to look up stuff about the Nazis online so the lecturer could piss off for an hour. The computers wouldn't let us look up anything because of hate speech. I think they just want CZcams money so cut random jokes that might upset CZcams's random rule generator.
Or maybe nobody cares? Out of almost a million views, you and a few other people care. People are just being annoying complaining about it like it actually matters