Crusader Kings II - Incest Only Challenge

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  • čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
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    Crusader Kings II
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Komentáře • 3,6K

  • @Valefisk
    @Valefisk  Před 5 lety +12940

    can i get an f in chat for all these unfortunate children

  • @marsproductions1
    @marsproductions1 Před 5 lety +6711

    When you are confused whether the affair is happening with your daughter, sister, or mother

  • @homersimpson6585
    @homersimpson6585 Před 4 lety +5791

    Imagine attending the funeral when his wife dies and say these words
    “I’ve lost a wife and a sister”

    • @helpme9745
      @helpme9745 Před 4 lety +39

      Lol

    • @tezla6332
      @tezla6332 Před 4 lety +463

      And a mother, and an aunt

    • @aaaaaaaaaa7862
      @aaaaaaaaaa7862 Před 4 lety +324

      I’ve lost a wife, a mother, a daughter, my father and my dog at the same time. Yet, only one person died.

    • @stephenlong9806
      @stephenlong9806 Před 4 lety +153

      'I feel your pain Uncle Cousin Brother Grandad'

    • @Nothing-1w3
      @Nothing-1w3 Před 4 lety +49

      So you guys are saying that's weird outside of Alabama???

  • @lamedrawings
    @lamedrawings Před 5 lety +9826

    _When that cute princess winked at you but you are a prince and both live in the same castle._
    *Sweet home Estonia.*

  • @itsashane1552
    @itsashane1552 Před 5 lety +5261

    Of course Kosk thought they were his, the family resemblance was so strong

    • @expensivemagic4754
      @expensivemagic4754 Před 5 lety +64

      lol

    • @MiracleManMax
      @MiracleManMax Před 5 lety +177

      Oddly enough, like father like son, in more ways then one. (:

    • @tuberculosisterrence567
      @tuberculosisterrence567 Před 5 lety +17

      Oh that's good

    • @Mygg_Jeager
      @Mygg_Jeager Před 4 lety +25

      This whole ass comment section man.... goddamn.

    • @ltavito6743
      @ltavito6743 Před 8 měsíci

      ​@@expensivemagic4754😊😊ñ😊😊ññ😊😊ñ😊😊😊ñ😊ñ😊😅😊ñ😊ñ😅😊ñ😊😊😊ñ😊ñ😊😊😊😊😊ñ😊😊ññ😊😊ñ😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

  • @MebbeYeahMebbeNo
    @MebbeYeahMebbeNo Před 5 lety +2144

    "She's humble, she's charitable...she's a lunatic..."

    • @GBfanatic15
      @GBfanatic15 Před 4 lety +104

      she's a NICE crazy lady :)

    • @TheCorrodedMan
      @TheCorrodedMan Před 3 lety +55

      “PELICANS EATING MY BRAIN BLARGAHAGHAGH...care for tea?”

    • @cymikgaming1266
      @cymikgaming1266 Před měsícem

      "and she is your mother-in-law"

  • @beckypotato3295
    @beckypotato3295 Před 5 lety +3941

    7:06 omg one of the options is “vidi, vici, veni” which means “I saw, I conquered, and I came” I CAAAAN’T WITH THIS CHALLENGE

    • @Zebo12345678
      @Zebo12345678 Před 5 lety +661

      Yeah, the folks at Paradox are _real_ good with their one-liners.

    • @schmitty5461
      @schmitty5461 Před 5 lety +101

      Umm I'm no Latin expert but is int that backwards? is it not suppose to be "Veni, vidi, vici"

    • @beckypotato3295
      @beckypotato3295 Před 5 lety +453

      Schmitty yeah that’s the one everyone knows but they were trying to make a joke here so they switched haha

    • @Zebo12345678
      @Zebo12345678 Před 5 lety +768

      @@schmitty5461 Veni Vidi Vici means "I came, I saw, I conquered"
      They flipped it around to "Vidi vici veni" which means "I saw, I conquered, I came"
      It's a dirty joke for nerds.

    • @expensivemagic4754
      @expensivemagic4754 Před 5 lety +35

      NO WAY

  • @inkyfingers317
    @inkyfingers317 Před 5 lety +1586

    “We don’t do the reverse cowgirl here, because you don’t turn your back on family!”

  • @Spencer481
    @Spencer481 Před 5 lety +905

    The king: Is that my sister, wife or daughter?
    Family tree: Yes

  • @RedXD42
    @RedXD42 Před 5 lety +967

    “Oh, my sister’s pregnant again!”
    “Oh, we have a daughter!”
    ...
    wait

  • @kasparkannel3108
    @kasparkannel3108 Před 5 lety +4952

    ah, i see estonia is finally receiving public attention...
    ...wait

  • @ICaligvla
    @ICaligvla Před 5 lety +462

    This challenge is about incest.
    "I want this guy to aspire to what I, in real life can't have." 2:46

    • @Banana_Zach
      @Banana_Zach Před 5 lety +22

      well

    • @mrnfd
      @mrnfd Před 4 lety +42

      I interpreted something and I now wish to uninterpret it

    • @alicestolze8327
      @alicestolze8327 Před 2 lety +21

      That's taken out of context. That said, it's much funnier this way.

  • @ANDREALEONE95
    @ANDREALEONE95 Před 5 lety +1990

    *Targaryen and Habsburg Houses wants to know your location*

    • @rsync9490
      @rsync9490 Před 5 lety +89

      Ptolemy and Rothschild would also like to have a word.

    • @Rickuo
      @Rickuo Před 5 lety +38

      @@rsync9490 The Rothschild's showed me, that incest IS wincest.

    • @octavian2381
      @octavian2381 Před 5 lety +22

      @@Rickuo They have an... Austrian Branch

    • @SebAnders
      @SebAnders Před 5 lety +14

      *Kraster34 is only 3 miles away*

    • @appleciderhorror12
      @appleciderhorror12 Před 5 lety +49

      "there are hot sisters in your area"

  • @KamiRecca
    @KamiRecca Před 5 lety +1726

    *Several generations of incestous relationships*
    "i think we can call this a success for now."
    Egypt would be proud of you, Pharao

    • @sophiejones7727
      @sophiejones7727 Před 5 lety +40

      They didn't actually commit incest: the brother-sister marriages were ceremonial only. Some dynasties still ended up inbred, but that was a consequence of the nobles marrying each other and then marrying into the royal family. brother-sister incest generally gets you nada irl.

    • @admontblanc
      @admontblanc Před 5 lety +8

      @James Pryhs they actually did as weird way to legitimize themselves as pharaohs, probably also to avoid splintering their holdings with gavelkind successions.

    • @kwazooplayingguardsman5615
      @kwazooplayingguardsman5615 Před 5 lety +18

      When you look at the stats, the areas with the highest cases of inbreeding is in the middle east.

    • @trentn1127
      @trentn1127 Před 5 lety +7

      @@kwazooplayingguardsman5615
      A little misleading, the Middle East has the highest rates of consanguinity in the world, not inbreeding.
      Although consanguinity is basically the result of inbreeding so I guess whatever.

    • @pugassassin5591
      @pugassassin5591 Před 5 lety

      @@trentn1127 lol

  • @katiewednesday662
    @katiewednesday662 Před 5 lety +1474

    'Where I united Ireland and married my way into the center of the Holy Empire'
    As an Irish person I wanna announce you as our new Emperor.

    • @benkeane365
      @benkeane365 Před 5 lety +6

      No the Irish have Irish as emporers

    • @maximilianfranz2158
      @maximilianfranz2158 Před 5 lety +22

      Ben Keane Yeah, I heard they had a High-King (not a high King) back in the days. But that was way before Otto I. founded the Holy Roman Empire.

    • @PwnZombie
      @PwnZombie Před 5 lety +1

      Inbred taiga

    • @whiteeagle9769
      @whiteeagle9769 Před 5 lety +1

      Yes

    • @jimbomacers
      @jimbomacers Před 5 lety +6

      Fhjthnl Lol Iuyo Keep your union to yourselves!

  • @OB472
    @OB472 Před 5 lety +2018

    16:30 - The tribes of Brandenburg have converted to the Sunni faith.
    What

    • @HannibalUvvU
      @HannibalUvvU Před 5 lety +301

      Sultanat of Bavaria Wait what !?

    • @Valefisk
      @Valefisk  Před 5 lety +445

      how the fuck did i never notice that...

    • @Valefisk
      @Valefisk  Před 5 lety +519

      also, although i never showed it, they actually formed Germany too

    • @Niekel10
      @Niekel10 Před 5 lety +273

      The sultan of Bavaria.... WHAT?

    • @realfinepork7308
      @realfinepork7308 Před 5 lety +61

      @@HannibalUvvU sounds appropriate.

  • @ScoredOne_
    @ScoredOne_ Před 5 lety +1731

    Im surprised the child didn't come out as a Horse,
    For one of my games we appointed a Horse as the Anti-pope, overthrew the real Pope and then it turned out the horse like to eat people and suddenly me and my friends were hunted down by a magical horse pope called Glitterhoof Benedict 1st

  • @penpenbrady
    @penpenbrady Před 5 lety +4103

    I think Alabama has been trying to do this challenge for a while.

    • @matthewc9624
      @matthewc9624 Před 5 lety +46

      Profile pic checks out

    • @Warrior4Bsoft
      @Warrior4Bsoft Před 5 lety +123

      the jewish community has been living up to this challenge for millennia

    • @brightgarinson3099
      @brightgarinson3099 Před 5 lety +24

      Pakistan*

    • @dashiellgillingham4579
      @dashiellgillingham4579 Před 5 lety +36

      I’m sorry but Jews don’t f*ck their cousins. The Torah (old testament) is where Christian ideas regarding incest come from.

    • @Machintoshhater
      @Machintoshhater Před 5 lety +21

      @@Warrior4Bsoft I think you mean Muslims.

  • @NotParticularlyWitty
    @NotParticularlyWitty Před 5 lety +385

    So the daughter has two kids with the father and names them both after her parents...
    How sweet!

  • @MrBobor1
    @MrBobor1 Před 5 lety +1250

    The second option with the centaur was: Why am I in the stables?
    It was no hallucination. The centaur was a ... horse. You had a son with a horse, congratulation. So not only incest, but zoophilia as well. Nice family you got there.

    • @Szpareq
      @Szpareq Před 5 lety +159

      I knew that horses can do that with donkeys, but damn, humans? CK2 surprises you every time I guess

    • @drichmo
      @drichmo Před 5 lety +257

      Marek Stefański ck2 is a wild wild game. From appointing horses as cabinet members to regrowing limbs if you pray and sacrifice enough to the devil, you can do anything.

    • @miruneverdies
      @miruneverdies Před 5 lety +47

      Nah, it might as well be meant as that she was fucked by a stableman whom she, being a lunatic, mistook for a centaur.

    • @agustinl2302
      @agustinl2302 Před 5 lety +86

      @@miruneverdies I mean, that's my realistic interpretation of it. Even though Glitterhoof is a thing, he's still got -1000% fertility, so I doubt having children with horses is a thing in the game. Then again you have magic and immortality so what do I know

    • @lagrangepoint9386
      @lagrangepoint9386 Před 5 lety +33

      Estonians, what can I say.

  • @itchykami
    @itchykami Před 4 lety +157

    "My accursed Brother-Husband confronted me!"
    Also, the title you're looking for at 17:30 is Sister-Aunt.

  • @colt1903
    @colt1903 Před 5 lety +2362

    Most Ruler's Family Trees: A mile long.
    Valefisk's in game Family Tree: A mile wide.
    Mine: BOTH.

    • @brendencooper5154
      @brendencooper5154 Před 5 lety +136

      Hol up

    • @admontblanc
      @admontblanc Před 5 lety +84

      @@brendencooper5154 easy peasy, change your laws to allow succession by both genders and do matrilineal marriage for all female heirs and you can end up with that.

    • @anshkhanna4667
      @anshkhanna4667 Před 5 lety +11

      Sweeeeeet Home

    • @corbiecrow9738
      @corbiecrow9738 Před 5 lety +2

      Two people need to take away thier likes

    • @anshkhanna4667
      @anshkhanna4667 Před 5 lety +3

      Wa da hell

  • @lilpenpusher
    @lilpenpusher Před 5 lety +804

    >I united Ireland
    >Screenshots shows he's not owning Northern Ireland
    *IRISH REPUBLICAN ARMY WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LOCATION*

    • @tommyscott8511
      @tommyscott8511 Před 5 lety +68

      *Laughs in Margaret Thatcher*

    • @chrisca
      @chrisca Před 5 lety +19

      @@tommyscott8511imageproxy.ifcdn.com/crop:x-20,resize:320x,crop:x800,quality:90x75/images/cf6fd2de3b197d76d899b5d1134ba28e5869e29ff1fa0963ec4e1ec69587e4f4_1.jpg

    • @GabrielAugustomisterkakuna
      @GabrielAugustomisterkakuna Před 5 lety +13

      *Laughs in car bombing.*

    • @mgokce2314
      @mgokce2314 Před 5 lety +3

      Uvf

    • @patriot17764th
      @patriot17764th Před 2 lety

      Yes!!

  • @bakrahabibi5471
    @bakrahabibi5471 Před 4 lety +282

    When you have a crush on a girl in class but you're home schooled.

  • @toddharig8142
    @toddharig8142 Před 5 lety +406

    "im your sister, for kuu's sake".... "the virtue is strong in this one". Yup..

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 Před 5 lety +492

    Estonia, commonly known for being one of the great Eastern European innovators for technology and anti-corruption practice.
    In Crusader Kings II, it's where you can get incest quick.

    • @user-pi8pd9wc5y
      @user-pi8pd9wc5y Před 5 lety +12

      It's considered northern Europe. All of the baltics are.

    • @JuhanLiiv1547
      @JuhanLiiv1547 Před 5 lety +22

      @@user-pi8pd9wc5y Only Estonia considers themself northern, Latvia and Lithuania have more ties to Eastern Europe

    • @pureevil6047
      @pureevil6047 Před 5 lety +2

      @@JuhanLiiv1547 Isn't the Estonian language not Slavic at all? I thought it was closer to Finnish than to any Slavic language.

    • @JuhanLiiv1547
      @JuhanLiiv1547 Před 5 lety +19

      @@pureevil6047 Yeah Estonian is part of the Finno-Urgic branch not Slavic or Baltic(they are both descended from Proto Baltic-Slavic)

    • @ernstschmidt4725
      @ernstschmidt4725 Před 5 lety

      @@JuhanLiiv1547 so... just as the finns estonian are not nordic germans but nordic hungarians?

  • @theex-authoritarian3745
    @theex-authoritarian3745 Před 5 lety +1464

    Many, many years ago when I was 23
    I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be
    This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
    My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed
    This made my dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
    For now my daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife
    And to complicate the matter even though it brought me joy
    I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy
    My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
    And so he became my uncle though it mad me very sad
    For if he were my uncle that would also made him brother
    Of the widows grown-up daughter who was of course my stepmother
    Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
    And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter's son
    My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
    Because although she is my wife she's my grandmother two
    Now if my wife is my grandmother then I'm her grandchild
    And every time I think of it, nearly drives me wild
    'Cause now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
    As husband of my grandmother I am my own grandpaw

    • @hitsugatatsuro9978
      @hitsugatatsuro9978 Před 5 lety +184

      I need a family tree for this, man. Amazing job tho.

    • @theex-authoritarian3745
      @theex-authoritarian3745 Před 5 lety +199

      @@hitsugatatsuro9978 this isnt mine. It's a song from an episode of the Muppets called "im my own grandpa." look it up. There are several videos of it

    • @theex-authoritarian3745
      @theex-authoritarian3745 Před 5 lety +66

      @@hitsugatatsuro9978 I've just been waiting for a chance to post it somewhere

    • @hitsugatatsuro9978
      @hitsugatatsuro9978 Před 5 lety +34

      @@theex-authoritarian3745 Haha, ayt ayt. I've never heard of this. Really dodgy content for a kids.show tbh, but it's awesome nonetheless.

    • @hitsugatatsuro9978
      @hitsugatatsuro9978 Před 5 lety +12

      @@theex-authoritarian3745 Thanks for sharing!

  • @malaizze
    @malaizze Před 5 lety +3347

    " *We don't got a family tree, we got a family wreath!* "

    • @vic-20personalcomputer80
      @vic-20personalcomputer80 Před 5 lety +70

      As a person from Alabama, I find this joke funny. And no, I don't fuck people I'm related to.

    • @oogabooga620
      @oogabooga620 Před 5 lety +165

      Little do people know, there is only two family's in Alabama

    • @nullpoint3346
      @nullpoint3346 Před 5 lety +1

      Despite what you said implying an inversion.

    • @nullpoint3346
      @nullpoint3346 Před 5 lety +7

      @@mattfabz
      I was just trying to be as confusing as possible, seems it worked, because even I have no idea what I said.

    • @mattfabz
      @mattfabz Před 5 lety +17

      @@nullpoint3346 you most certainly succeeded at making yourself look ignorant

  • @Gajiggles
    @Gajiggles Před 5 lety +533

    A select few children of the family were auctioned off to 85 year old men for diplomatic purposes, or forced to marry a young, immature prince and join his several wives in order to increase political stability between regions.
    *_They were the lucky ones_*

  • @aristocrocseerofaeons8268
    @aristocrocseerofaeons8268 Před 5 lety +641

    Family tree? Family circle? More like a family tumbleweed.

  • @lusciouslocks8790
    @lusciouslocks8790 Před 5 lety +728

    This just in: Kosk fancies his sister-niece-adopteddaughter

    • @TheGuardianEzio
      @TheGuardianEzio Před 5 lety +42

      To be precise, half sister, niece, and daughter-in-law.

    • @thundersoul6795
      @thundersoul6795 Před 5 lety +3

      Only in Crusader Kings 2!
      Or is it also in CK1? Like I know the first game is usually the least feature-filled, but Paradox is also known for generally downgrading the next games to add the missing parts as DLC years later and discarding the more complex stuff(like HoI3 research) altogether, sooo...

    • @covidoctor6015
      @covidoctor6015 Před 4 lety

      This is some funny stuff

  • @koisj8310
    @koisj8310 Před 5 lety +1968

    no one:
    youtube recomendations:

    • @MiGujack3
      @MiGujack3 Před 5 lety +45

      I REGRET NOTHING

    • @mii1211
      @mii1211 Před 5 lety +2

      Well actually he said there was a pole vote for this.

    • @enzoh7151
      @enzoh7151 Před 5 lety

      I like how the likes on this comment is 404...too bad that I'm going to end it :v

    • @robloxxd5367
      @robloxxd5367 Před 5 lety +17

      You know that youtube recomendations are based on your internet activity?

    • @koisj8310
      @koisj8310 Před 5 lety +22

      @@robloxxd5367 Hey hey hey!
      we dont talk about this

  • @al0ura
    @al0ura Před 5 lety +183

    "What would you do if you were in a room full of everyone you've ever had sex with?
    " tell me about it. I hate family reunions. "
    **JAZZ MUSIC STOPS**

  • @oceantrinidad4987
    @oceantrinidad4987 Před 5 lety +664

    The family tree is more Roots than tree.

  • @bookworm07031
    @bookworm07031 Před 5 lety +355

    Blood so pure you can take it to church. Which you did... Repeatedly.

  • @JingleJangle256
    @JingleJangle256 Před 5 lety +167

    Coefficient of Inbreeding:
    (Percent chance of genetic defects)
    Father/daughter- 25%
    Mother/son- 25%
    Brother/sister- 25%
    Half-brother/half-sister- 12.5%
    Uncle/niece- 12.5%
    Aunt/nephew- 12.5%
    First cousins- 6.25%

    • @isaiahbaker3597
      @isaiahbaker3597 Před 5 lety +57

      What's the percentage if all of those are the same person?

    • @JingleJangle256
      @JingleJangle256 Před 5 lety +50

      Isaiah Moorehead for comparison, Virve Rivala (14:50) is the daughter of a father/daughter relationship, with her mother being born from a brother/sister relationship. Virve’s inbreeding coefficient would be 50% inbred, which explains her many, many problems.

    • @jacobhines5583
      @jacobhines5583 Před 5 lety +9

      This is blatantly false(in reality) lmao

    • @Microphunktv-jb3kj
      @Microphunktv-jb3kj Před 5 lety +34

      @@jacobhines5583 His talking about in-game debuffs / bad traits wich u can get from inbreeding...
      In realty u have 400% higher chance to be born with < 70iq / genetic disorders... ^^

    • @quintonlim4275
      @quintonlim4275 Před 5 lety +14

      What would identical twins be?

  • @mirasu2777
    @mirasu2777 Před 5 lety +337

    *Has his son marry his sister*
    "I don't like this, I really don't like what I'm doing!"
    Vale, buddy, are you trying to convince us, or yourself? :^)

    • @rune.theocracy
      @rune.theocracy Před 5 lety

      @Prime Megalodon I disagree

    • @KingBrandonm
      @KingBrandonm Před 5 lety +4

      Sometimes that's just how the game goes. In CK2 AGOT I was playing as Aegon the Conquerer and my daughter was married to my eldest son but kept having bastards with my youngest son until the eldest went insane and died. So then I married my daughter after my sister wives died and had 3 kids with her lmao

    • @GEXGE11
      @GEXGE11 Před 5 lety +1

      @@KingBrandonm Honestly sister sagging isn't all that bad, idk why you people continue to fuss about.

    • @KingBrandonm
      @KingBrandonm Před 5 lety +1

      @@GEXGE11 my daughter was married to my eldest son, my issue is that she was cheating on him with my youngest. I had all these grand designs and I raised the eldest to rule. Gave him Blackfyre and my daughter Dark Sister. Then when my younger son took the throne the whole fucking seven kingdoms shattered with every kingdom declaring independence from the throne. Aegon spent so much time and effort unifying the kingdoms, he even brought Dorne in with zero bloodshed. Then he spent over 50 years solidifying alliances and raising his eldest to rule. He died of depression at age 74.

  • @Solll0
    @Solll0 Před 5 lety +440

    The CK2 eugenics program is in full swing i see

  • @AD-hr8sg
    @AD-hr8sg Před 5 lety +304

    "My grandfather is my father and my great uncle."

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 Před 5 lety +624

    Country roads, take me home! To the place, where I belong!
    North Estonia! Mount Your Mama! Take me home! Country roads!

    • @sketchyirishman8975
      @sketchyirishman8975 Před 5 lety +86

      I think In this it would be “mount your mama”
      Did I really just fucking type that

    • @furioussherman7265
      @furioussherman7265 Před 5 lety +23

      @@sketchyirishman8975 Yes. Yes you did.

    • @GameyRaccoon
      @GameyRaccoon Před 5 lety +5

      Stop.

    • @bearvanhelsing6035
      @bearvanhelsing6035 Před 5 lety +11

      @@sketchyirishman8975 I'm screaming and I can't tell if it's from laughter or horror.

    • @sketchyirishman8975
      @sketchyirishman8975 Před 5 lety +4

      Bear Van Helsing if you’re anything like me it’s a bit of both

  • @EonSlater
    @EonSlater Před 5 lety +429

    *Laughs In Police Sirens*

    • @MrLogan2600
      @MrLogan2600 Před 5 lety

      You show up on a lot of CK2 videos

    • @hornblower677
      @hornblower677 Před 5 lety +2

      @@MrLogan2600 he or she shows up everywhere tbh i feel like that search for shit like this that they can make a comment on and get those likes

  • @spudspadeandco.1109
    @spudspadeandco.1109 Před 5 lety +514

    "You're clones are impressive. You should be proud"

  • @plasmacannon1198
    @plasmacannon1198 Před 5 lety +270

    And so the Targaryen bloodline was formed

    • @liquidsleepgames3661
      @liquidsleepgames3661 Před 5 lety +3

      Still better then the ptolemy dynasty

    • @ahtinen4004
      @ahtinen4004 Před 4 lety

      nope, it's and so first valyrian bloodline was formed. behold of House Revalaryen of Valyria

  • @th3_apex_gamer776
    @th3_apex_gamer776 Před 5 lety +659

    15:45 *she's humble, she's charitable. . . She's a lunatic* 🤣

  • @LordIsrafel
    @LordIsrafel Před 5 lety +168

    The various screencaps of people recounting their experiences playing this game failed to convince me to purchase this game. This video, in the first ten minutes, has succeeded.
    Good show, sir.

  • @shanecolby547
    @shanecolby547 Před 5 lety +217

    Roses are red
    12 is a dozen
    Royal family created by marrying cousins

  • @Shooterboy301
    @Shooterboy301 Před 5 lety +192

    Virva Revala was the kings
    sister;
    daughter in law;
    and niece
    Well done i would say

    • @mursuhillo242
      @mursuhillo242 Před 5 lety +10

      Not sure if coincidence, but...
      Estonian is part of the finno-ugric language group, closely related to Finnish, the two of which to foreigners are virtually indistinguishable.
      Revala, or as it's nowadays known, Tallinn, can be literally translated into Cunt town/city from Reva (cunt) and -la suffix denoting a place of something.
      So having an incestuous bitch going all the ways named like this is simply perfection.

    • @lynnk5635
      @lynnk5635 Před 5 lety +1

      @@mursuhillo242 Really? Did not know Reva meant that lul. Have always known Revala was one of the names for Tallinn. Makes me see cafes etc. with the name Revala differently now haha

    • @jumalAnni
      @jumalAnni Před 5 lety +1

      mursuhillo A more legitimate etymology is actually sth like ‘place of foxes/fox color’. There is this Estonian word ‘rebu’ (egg yolk) and ‘rebane’ (fox) might be an adjective form of it as, in their natural form, these things have roughly the same color. (Free hens who have eaten certain bugs or worms produce orange yolks.) Another possible etymology is from the word ‘räbal’ (rag; bad, shabby)... Revala/Rävala has reached us through Germanic sources, anyway. So it’s hard to tell.
      Repola in Karelia seems to have the same etymology and we can be more sure about it. It seems to be a quite usual Fenno-Ugric toponym. Plus, in the area of ancient Revala, there is also Rebala village nowadays.

  • @BobBob-yk5ko
    @BobBob-yk5ko Před 5 lety +139

    "The line must remain pure." LOL

  • @dragonstryk7280
    @dragonstryk7280 Před 5 lety +144

    Sees polygamy "OH No"
    Viewers "Oh YES!"

  • @LynxHylix
    @LynxHylix Před 5 lety +509

    Estonia is the Alabama of Europe

    • @tvtndr
      @tvtndr Před 5 lety +10

      Nejtro Habsburgs not Augsburgs lol

    • @rivopoiss1
      @rivopoiss1 Před 5 lety

      @Nejtro according to this game, he is probably "kotting" his sister

    • @eruno_
      @eruno_ Před 5 lety

      More like Saarland in Germany

  • @oogabooga620
    @oogabooga620 Před 5 lety +271

    When you look up your family tree and it goes backwards

  • @ydraeinedragotto1656
    @ydraeinedragotto1656 Před 5 lety +83

    Got an ad for a game of thrones mobile app before the video, never felt more appropriate.

  • @calebdoty9090
    @calebdoty9090 Před 5 lety +137

    I got a Game of Thrones advertisement before the video...
    Well played Google

    • @tinyrick4987
      @tinyrick4987 Před 5 lety

      Ymir the Primordial you’re gonna get some weird ass ads lol

    • @marleymacneil7966
      @marleymacneil7966 Před 5 lety

      same here, those ads have been everywhere recently but at least it's fitting now

    • @nidohime6233
      @nidohime6233 Před 5 lety

      Isn't there a mod or DLC wich you can play with GoT charcaters?

  • @astralsheepu7379
    @astralsheepu7379 Před 5 lety +97

    You're being awfully harsh on Kosk. I mean, the kid WOULD resemble *him*

  • @AHappyCub
    @AHappyCub Před 5 lety +356

    Others: manage to create unbelievable things like incestuous marriage and converting the pope into a satanist
    Me: dies on third generation
    Clearly I don't know anything about this game

    • @doomyboi
      @doomyboi Před 5 lety +50

      Start small and just colonize the British Isles as an Indian ruler.

    • @AHappyCub
      @AHappyCub Před 5 lety

      @@doomyboi I could even pass the third generation lol

    • @tenacity25
      @tenacity25 Před 5 lety +5

      You see, I'd say the same thing but 90% of the time my runs are ended by something like my children being pushed off a cliff 3 times in a row, as soon as they take the throne, leading to the immediate loss of all of my heirs and a game over

    • @Molochors
      @Molochors Před 5 lety +11

      @@tenacity25 That's what concubines/polygamy is for - if you don't fuck your way across Europe you're not even trying.
      Few hundreads years in and not only your family is pure, whole goddamn land is pure, even if some don't realise it

    • @glenmcgillivray4707
      @glenmcgillivray4707 Před 5 lety +2

      @@Molochors so literally the only defense against the RNG is to go forth and multiply? And get all your family married with as many wives as possible and seduce those too?

  • @RIlianP
    @RIlianP Před 5 lety +93

    Now if you only had mod with dragons in it...you'll get sued by HBO.

  • @stultustv1226
    @stultustv1226 Před 5 lety +257

    So you recreated Europes actual history. Nice work!

    • @randomriku6774
      @randomriku6774 Před 5 lety +6

      In europe only royals were inbred

    • @jacthing1
      @jacthing1 Před 5 lety +8

      @@eugenisttechnocrat669 would probably depends on how close said cousin is to you genetically

    • @bluewuppo
      @bluewuppo Před 4 lety +12

      Eugenist Technocrat Found the guy from Alabama

  • @fleetwoodcraic4235
    @fleetwoodcraic4235 Před 5 lety +90

    Alternate Title:Making my family tree a family wreath

  • @silverhawk7324
    @silverhawk7324 Před 5 lety +53

    This is next level hentai lmao. Tags include: Incest, NTR, Disabled, Aheago, Medieval, Dirty old bastard, Mental disability etc..

  • @sarellamikk
    @sarellamikk Před 5 lety +287

    I have wanted to see someone playing with my tiny country... But not like this... xD

    • @sk31370n
      @sk31370n Před 5 lety

      Shenryyr has a playthrough

    • @kilderok
      @kilderok Před 5 lety +13

      Not like theese….not like theese.

    • @sephikong8323
      @sephikong8323 Před 5 lety +6

      If it pleases you, one of my favourite campaigns was with Estonia
      25 years after starting I reformed the religion with the feature Bloodthirsty Gods and a warmongering nature. I sacrificed a whole lot of prisoners and at some points I started to mass sacrifice my population to gain the favours of the God for the Flower War I started against the Swedish (who conquered a great deal of Finland) and I won and sacrificed the Swedish nobility to the gods.
      In this world Estonia is synonymous with barbarity and violence and children everywhere are scared with stories of how the Estonians will kill them and eat their heart for their gods if they don't -Finnish- finish their soup. Happy ?

    • @christianfreedom-seeker934
      @christianfreedom-seeker934 Před 5 lety +2

      I suspect that was actually happening in Albania....I mean good gods who names their kid "Zog"??????? As in the last King of Albania.

    • @johnwestensnorris6391
      @johnwestensnorris6391 Před 4 lety

      I'm trying to make an Estonian merchant republic.

  • @kyros9848
    @kyros9848 Před 5 lety +113

    "Incest only challenge" aka regular gameplay of crusader kings 2

  • @TheEthanGamer
    @TheEthanGamer Před 5 lety +75

    The Lannisters sends their regards.

  • @michaeledmunds7266
    @michaeledmunds7266 Před 4 lety +23

    *Husband returns home from scheming*
    His wife: "Honey! Good news! I've had another child... I named him after your father."

  • @isaacg2886
    @isaacg2886 Před 5 lety +189

    Jesus the royal family is undergoing mitosis

  • @sarkhan_guy
    @sarkhan_guy Před 5 lety +468

    Why are you making a documentary about Alabama?

  • @Mikey-zk5wc
    @Mikey-zk5wc Před 5 lety +128

    King: *kills wife!*
    King: *has children with daughter*
    King: Getth Næ Næd

  • @TheDbend
    @TheDbend Před 5 lety +77

    "United ireland"
    I see those blue counties.

  • @TheHughgee
    @TheHughgee Před 5 lety +63

    Graduated from war crimes to straight up crimes against humanity I see

  • @lpfan4491
    @lpfan4491 Před 5 lety +82

    16:57 xD this is why incest is just the best thing in fiction. it always leads to confusion and that gets insanely funny

    • @Kimikachu22
      @Kimikachu22 Před 5 lety +9

      Too bad SJW's think it is "normalizing" actual incest.

    • @mitsvanmitsvanio6106
      @mitsvanmitsvanio6106 Před 5 lety +7

      @@Kimikachu22 SJW's probably would thing The Producers is nazi propaganda and hate speech, nevermind that it is quite the opposite and Mel Brooks is a Jew.

    • @default6274
      @default6274 Před 4 lety +6

      "incest is just the best thing in fiction"
      Oh, God.

    • @kostatesla200
      @kostatesla200 Před 2 lety +1

      Please give me the title of the book that has this, I want to laugh

  • @cookiecracker2
    @cookiecracker2 Před 5 lety +66

    FBI OPEN UP!!!!!
    Valiefisk: "Ah, our sister is finally of age, it begins!!
    FBI: "......"

  • @dELTA13579111315
    @dELTA13579111315 Před 5 lety +75

    I've never heard of you or this game, and this was the funniest thing I've seen today 😂😂

  • @Jerald_Fitzjerald
    @Jerald_Fitzjerald Před 5 lety +35

    17:32
    I think the phrase you're looking for is "sister-niece-daughter-in-law"

  • @UristMcPerson
    @UristMcPerson Před 5 lety +120

    The line stayed pure. Just as tainted by the end, as it was at the beginning.

    • @wyrdean_9649
      @wyrdean_9649 Před 5 lety

      'Ello DaggerMcPerson!
      How goes the fort?

  • @jonshaw840
    @jonshaw840 Před 5 lety +76

    After seeing the poll results, I’m proud of this community. Sort of?

  • @thomasmontgomery958
    @thomasmontgomery958 Před 5 lety +41

    "For this guys ambition, I want him to aspire for what I can't have" *Plots to turn his family tree into a family circle*

  • @zoidsfan12
    @zoidsfan12 Před 5 lety +146

    16:37 technically he isn't having an affair with his daughter, he is having an affair with his half sister/niece.
    Edit: aight you thought about it lol

    • @pleasenohate7505
      @pleasenohate7505 Před 5 lety +12

      This excuse already worked fir your parents so why not

    • @cheesecakelasagna
      @cheesecakelasagna Před 5 lety +2

      roninn same goes to your quotation marks.

    • @tallahriehl8220
      @tallahriehl8220 Před 5 lety

      @roninn It's actually like this, "Proper Quotation Marks."

    • @tallahriehl8220
      @tallahriehl8220 Před 5 lety +1

      @roninn Apologies, I didn't know other countries did it differently.

    • @cheesecakelasagna
      @cheesecakelasagna Před 5 lety

      roninn understandable, have a nice day.

  • @katesometimeslate158
    @katesometimeslate158 Před 5 lety +55

    vidi, vici, veni must be one of the nerdiest jokes ever. I've never had that and played a lot of CK2

  • @gmclucy
    @gmclucy Před rokem +5

    I've had this in my watch later for literally years and I'm so glad to finally be watching it

  • @ascoolas77
    @ascoolas77 Před 5 lety +160

    Vale can you do a real life version of this challenge just to show that it works

    • @vlad-ns6yt
      @vlad-ns6yt Před 5 lety +11

      and also try the minecraft version!

    • @ascoolas77
      @ascoolas77 Před 5 lety +15

      Crack Tax yeah for “scientific” reasons

    • @Puhtatr
      @Puhtatr Před 5 lety +3

      *hentai fans like this*

    • @MandrakeFernflower
      @MandrakeFernflower Před 5 lety +1

      *Charles II of Spain is calling*

    • @nikitasvorin9504
      @nikitasvorin9504 Před rokem

      @@MandrakeFernflower nah, too many ancestors, Ptolemaic dynasty is much cooler

  • @vaug7n
    @vaug7n Před 5 lety +186

    The fact that you aren't playing as Austria is kind of unrealistic.

    • @ninjadeathM
      @ninjadeathM Před 5 lety +3

      I didn't know Austria was Alabama v2.0

    • @jrtorero
      @jrtorero Před 5 lety +35

      Did you ever heard about the Habsburgs dude? They are the OG Alabama

    • @sirweebs2914
      @sirweebs2914 Před 5 lety +9

      I never knew that and Im Austrian.. Hm maybe I actively forgot. After all I was in a relationship with a second grade cousin. What am I doing here..

    • @jrtorero
      @jrtorero Před 5 lety +14

      @@sirweebs2914 Hol' up

    • @sirweebs2914
      @sirweebs2914 Před 5 lety +8

      @@jrtorero I mean I didnt knew that she was my cousin if that helps.. Really loved her.
      You should have see the conversation my mother had with her when she first saw my "girlfriend".. yep fun times. And a good story for either alot of drugs and a campfire or right before I kill myslef.

  • @masterman1001
    @masterman1001 Před 4 lety +29

    Ah yes, the great Kingdom of Karen. So that's where they all come from.

  • @beepthefox
    @beepthefox Před 5 lety +32

    In this episode, the Estonian royalty turns their family tree into a family wreath.

  • @ferna2294
    @ferna2294 Před 5 lety +69

    "Historically Accurate." 10/10

  • @GrasshopperKelly
    @GrasshopperKelly Před 5 lety +40

    "united Ireland" you have a like Sir!
    "married my way into the Holy Roman Empire"
    You have an Irish Sub Sir!

  • @betambalu9785
    @betambalu9785 Před 5 lety +342

    Basically it’s just
    Crusader Kings 2: Alabama Edition

  • @randomradek5284
    @randomradek5284 Před 5 lety +89

    Southerners and Habsburgs, the most overpowered faction ever.

    • @Rickuo
      @Rickuo Před 5 lety +6

      No, the most overpowered incest faction is the Rothschild dynasty. The Rothschild's really show you how you make incest into wincest.

  • @mathlete855
    @mathlete855 Před rokem +4

    10:46 that genuine shock 😂

  • @casval1818
    @casval1818 Před 5 lety +8

    1930s: I bet we'll have flying cars in the future!
    2019: Crusade Kings II: incest only

  • @bigjay9988
    @bigjay9988 Před 5 lety +34

    Others:I play this game the best.
    Valefisk:Hold my codpiece

    • @Samwiz1
      @Samwiz1 Před 5 lety +1

      Lmao best joke in the comments section

  • @jotex329
    @jotex329 Před 2 lety +7

    THIS VIDEO, of all things, is what got me into CK2.
    i now have 3500 hours.
    thanks valefisk, for making a video about incest

  • @D1machaerus
    @D1machaerus Před 5 lety +10

    The whole “Virve Situation” is extremely reminiscent of Zeus and Demeter in both the incest sense and the “I am king, you have no choice” sense. Poor Virve

  • @eshock753
    @eshock753 Před 5 lety +23

    I never even considered getting crusader kings until now. You’ve forced my hand

    • @TheEsdaniel
      @TheEsdaniel Před 5 lety +3

      i literally got the game 2 days after watching the video , I'm still a noob , but enjoying it

  • @ToastyMcGrath
    @ToastyMcGrath Před 5 lety +26

    The family that lays together, stays together.

  • @gerritdeman6410
    @gerritdeman6410 Před 5 lety +193

    I feel uncomfortable saying this but... I loved this and I need more :p

  • @darren9752
    @darren9752 Před 5 lety +115

    *doom du du doom du doom*
    *What are you doing stepbro?!*
    That was the pornhun into btw

  • @Zero001
    @Zero001 Před 5 lety +60

    all i'm gonna say is that this could be the plot for an RPGMaker hentai game...
    and no, i am not proud of myself for knowing that

    • @thelonecourier3439
      @thelonecourier3439 Před 5 lety +15

      *raises finger, lowers finger*

    • @soul6733
      @soul6733 Před 5 lety +9

      Time to learn how to program.

    • @oddluck4180
      @oddluck4180 Před 5 lety +2

      This is pretty much the plot of quite a few renpy games. I will still never understand why.

    • @priyanshugoel3030
      @priyanshugoel3030 Před 4 lety +1

      Tough times man, tough times.

    • @itsashane1552
      @itsashane1552 Před 4 lety +1

      Zero001 I hate myself for knowing exactly what you’re talking about

  • @cabal_2
    @cabal_2 Před 5 lety +34

    Estonia but they're High Valyrian

    • @aegonii8471
      @aegonii8471 Před 5 lety

      Estonians but they’re from Alabama

    • @ahtinen4004
      @ahtinen4004 Před 4 lety

      FurorTeutonicus oh shit, the Doom is here!

  • @pooktafyte3989
    @pooktafyte3989 Před 5 lety +16

    *"Oh! My sister's pregnant again..."*

  • @AvengerAtIlipa
    @AvengerAtIlipa Před 5 lety +72

    Turn up the ingame volume. I can't hear it over the police sirens. Do headphones help?

  • @chaosherald8879
    @chaosherald8879 Před 5 lety +22

    Good luck playing a CK2 game where half your time doesn't go to figuring out how closely related you are to the people you seduce.