Obsessive Compulsive Disorder made me feel like a monster | Throwback Thursday
Vložit
- čas přidán 8. 04. 2020
- On her fourteenth birthday, Lindsey watched a Lifetime movie about a woman who murders her husband. While watching, she felt something inside her shift. Her mind was in overdrive: What if I could kill somebody? What if I lose control? For months, these thoughts circled in her head. Was she really a monster or was it something else?
Lindsey is a hair stylist, model and OCD advocate. She lives in Houston, TX.
“Throwback Thursday” is a series from the Washington Post that explores the truth that lives beneath our childhood memories. In this docuseries, adults take a look back at their younger years. What begins as a trip down memory lane, ends in a heart-opening examination of what was really going on behind the trapper keepers and the bubble yum. New episodes launch every Thursday in April 2020.
To watch more episodes of "Throwback Thursday" on youtube: • Throwback Thursday
Follow "Throwback Thursday" on instagram for exclusive behind the scenes content: / throwbackthursdaythese...
SPECIAL OFFER: To thank you for your support, here’s a deal on a Washington Post digital subscription: $29 for one year washingtonpost.com/youtubeoffer.
Subscribe to The Washington Post on CZcams: wapo.st/2QOdcqK
Follow us:
Twitter: / washingtonpost
Instagram: / washingtonpost
Facebook: / washingtonpost - Zábava
I have this thing which they called it OCD, let me say, it's not something you want in your life, it's the illness of the brain. The condition is basically like you are stuck in a thought and you seem can't get rid of it. It keeps repeating in your mind. Simply put, it's like ads in the internet, which are excessive and you don't want them, or like pop-up ads, the way to get rid of them is to click a button, this time, you don't have the button in your mind. Enough said.
There is some research that the brain is misfiring and gets you stuck in a thought (in painful ways) There are therapists that specialize in working with people who have OCD can are very successful in helping you get to a better place
That's 100% what it's like. Like radio static, stuff going on and on. I call it "stepping on the hamster wheel," because once you get on- it's hard to step off
Good description.
It's mainly the nature of the thoughts that are the issue.
U literally described my own brain to me 🙏
I thought I had genuine psychopathy as a kid I’m glad I’m not the only one who has had this experience. OCD is a very powerful mental disorder it makes you afraid of yourself, imagine what you could do if you made your OCD work for you.
Did you ever recover?
No but I learned ways to deal with it better
I always have repeatedly to tell myself in my head that I’m a good person 😭
Hey
You have no idea how worse peoples condition is than yours
@@kaimkhashashina730 Don’t say that…. You have no idea what this person is going through. What you said is a typical old minded saying, by the way, it is more destructive than helpful. Don’t try too help people mentally, your just the wrong person for the job. ✌️
@@captainhotbunz659 That is very ironic to hear that lmao friendly fire much??
@@reconsyt7128 how so do you know how damaging ocd can be to someone? OCD is a mental disease that can branch out to other way more Dangerous thing.
Its easy to feel crazy and like an evil human when you live with ocd. Its pure hell at times. Thanks for sharing 💙
I was in a similar situation, back when I was 10, I was watching a Vsauce video on cannibalism…while eating Dinner. Hands down worst decision I’ve ever made, had a horrible thought pop in my head, “i wonder what human meat tastes like”, my life fell downhill from there. I isolated myself, I was depressed, there was months were I felt normal, then months that felt like I was going to loose it at any given moment. I fell through internet rabbit hole, and kept thinking I was being possessed, or had Schizophrenia, and that I was going to turn into a whacko serial killer. I later found out that the thoughts I kept getting were Intrusive thoughts, and was a symptom of Pure-O. I’m still struggling, but family and friends help me keep going.
I was diagnosed and I have severe OCD. The similarities in this video are insanely accurate
Seeing your daily struggles in others offers a bit of comfort knowing you are not crazy. We truck on daily but that peace, that peace we wish we had it’s worth it’s weight in gold. God bless everyone.
The puppet is a really good embodiment of what OCD feels like.
I've suffered with OCD from about 10 years old. I'm now 43. Before i found out that I am not my thoughts, I really thought i was a bad person. Being alone in my own mind was a terrifying neighborhood to be in. I still suffer with violently intrusive thoughts, which i know are not me, but they still feel as if these thoughts actually happening irl when they occur. I'm searching for help with them.
OCD paralyses your brain. It makes life difficult to function because of the constant thoughts in your head
I have OCD and that was the best description of OCD I have ever seen. Thank you.
I had severe ocd, with intrusive thoughts, imagies, i couldnt function properly, i start healing the gut, change diet, and take medication..always find help😊❤
There is no cure for ocd
@@thealifexablecreed9811 if you speak for yourself than you are right, but there is cure
I understand I struggle badly with my ocd making me think/feel that I was a horrible abusive person growing up who did terrible things but then I look back at pictures and videos of me as a kid and realise how sweet I was it makes me sad :(
Oh my goodness, this changes a lot. I live with Harm OCD at 16 and literally feel as if I'm a psycho and a bad and crazy person and feel as if I will just go crazy when I hate to think of it. This brings me so much reassurance!
Nah I went through the same thing, and it’s it was hardest thing to get through alone, just learned to have courage over my fears
@@TheRenciso9courage as in you know you’re stronger than your fears? I’m starting to get there. I used to struggle w it everyday until I figured out what was going on. I’m struggling rn which is why it sounds like I’m asking for reassurance. But, lately I’ve been responding the fear w “cool”, “maybe maybe not”, “ok”. And it helps a lot
I had pocd, and it was pretty severe for me. It’s a lot more minor now, but I felt like an evil person.
I am sure you are the most empathic Person, and nice😊❤
Love these human-centric and endearing stories. More please!
Shame on you
@@ras_krystafari3333 for what :0
I hate intrusive thoughts. I’ve been having them for years. One of the worst things that ever happened to me. I don’t why this is happening to me. I just want them to stop. The frustration from this makes me want to blow my brains out.
don't give up!
I was/am in the same position as you, I advise you to do some research about them. The more you understand them, the easier it is to deal with them. Try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or other kinds of self-treatment, talk to your friends/family for support and, if it's not enough, talk to a professional. It's never wrong to ask for help when you need it
@@ikerrad2804i agree, i am still in process of getteing better ( from Panic disorder, ocd in form of intrusive thoughts about violence or sexual violence/ getting insane), but i think i'm halfway there. Cognitive behaviour therapy gave me some tools to deal with it and low dosed SSRI's made it better. But what what really helped me a lot is IFS therapy(inner family system)+ daily meditation!
I wish you all the best, much love and a good and successful recovery! Even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes, when we honestly confront our problems and truly worked on them, as hard as it is, once done these problems seem like a joke and you can laugh at them and move on with life!
Stay strong beautiful people, we all are the universe experiencing and observing itself, let's have this wonderful experience together.💪♥️
Has anyone heard of ERP therapy and knows how effective it can be?
I hope no one gets ocd that's how bad it is
I almost had a heart attack looking at that puppet on the thumbnail in the middle of the night
Poggers.
Why can’t I just be normal
Because normal is usually evil, most people with ocd are the most kind and caring that's why they attach so much power to thoughts in ways most humans wouldn't even attach to actions
@@vodheartygreatly worded.
I want to leave a long heartfelt comment but I'm OCD (diagnosed) and I'm scared of talking about myself too much. This video wasn't easy to watch but I'm high and a bit drunk so it's a little bit easier to accept right now.
... I don't even know what to say. I just want you to know I appreciate this video this video. And your message. Thank you
I had been fighting far worse OCD and social fear and depression for years. I'm better now.
Hi, if you don't mind me asking, what helped you get better?
@@emelyrodriguez8084 I don't think mental health is separate from physical health. When a person is depressed, his body will become tired. At the same time, when a person is tired, his mood will become depressed. However, a healthy person will also be depressed if he experiences the pain of breaking up or losing his family. But if he takes good care of life and does not let his health be affected, he will still recover. If a person is hit, he gives up on himself, let himself fall, destroy his body, then he is likely not to recover from the sadness. Over the years, I started with the simplest things. First of all, when I was a junior, I decided to increase my weight and treat some diseases I suffered physically. I try to run every day, and supplement nutrition, understand my disease, and get rid of bad habits. After a few months of persistence, I found that my physical strength has been greatly strengthened, and then my mood has become better. Although I am still very lonely, I am optimistic. Some of my diseases have also improved with my persistence. Some infections have been treated, my teeth have been mended, and my digestion has also improved. After I work, I still stick to healthy habits. In the past, when I had physical examination, I had bradycardia and low blood pressure, but after I gained weight, my blood pressure and heart rate were normal. Later, due to poor diet control, I gained too much weight and had high uric acid. Then last year I took the initiative to do manual work for a few months, which reduced my weight by 8kg, and when I checked last year, my uric acid level became normal. It has been six years since my university decided to save myself. During this period, my OCD gradually reduced, and almost disappeared, and I was not so depressed. Although my personality is still very introverted, and sometimes there will be social fear, but I blame myself a lot less. I think when you decide to save yourself, you need to make yourself develop in a better direction every day. It needs great perseverance, not waiting. Just like a person's physical exercise, the process from being thin to being strong can be realized step by step. Mental health is the same as physical health.
@@boblee3870 Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and sharing your experience! I'm glad your mental and physical health has improved
@@boblee3870 Hi I know it’s been a year since you wrote this but thank you for taking the time to write this. I’m 17 and have ocd and am trying to figure out how to turn my life around, whether to get off of medications, etc. and this was very helpful
It is the guilt of the thoughts, the label we place on them make them alive
God bless you Lindsey. Your story resonates with me so much. It’s obvious you are a beautiful soul! ❤
This is exactly what it was like for me. Except I abused alcohol to cope with my OCD
I’m tired of having to touch the same thing 10,000 times until i think just the right thought that doesn’t make me anxious. of course, when I encounter a trigger, my brain fills with horrible thoughts and says “you can’t let go of the thing/you have to keep touching it until you are thinking a happy thought during because if you are thinking a bad thought it will come true” I’m quite intelligent and major in psychology in college and i know that all of this is ridiculous and if anyone ever saw me do it I’d look insane and weird and cringey and freaky (all the things my social anxiety refuses to let me be). but i still can’t stop from doing it when I’m alone. i need to go see a therapist again because i used to have this same problem but it went away, but now it’s back and seems worse than ever because it’s so distressing that i know what I’m doing is silly and irrational but i just can’t stop because my brain convinces me its arbitrary rules (“when you close the shower curtain you have to think of something good because if you are thinking something bad it will happen” and the bad thoughts are really hard to get rid of when this happens) are real.
Wow, a lot of Lindsay's here. I really appreciated this. I have a remarkably similar story. I was about the same age when OCD wrecked my life and wiped me of my personality. It's also taken me just as long to come to terms with it. I've been doing well for over a year but I started falling back into a rut about a month ago. Help. 😥
Over and over again and again every seconds while I'm awake
Shes my age so I was able to relate. Thank you for good story, I think this was good one.
I have it really bad around ruminating and feeling like I’m a bad person and questioning my morality. It’s not something I can discuss on here so what I’ve said so far won’t make sense. I got triggered yesterday reading someone’s post about something related to their issues and started to feel extra bad about myself
I hope you are coping and feeling a bit better?
@@puppetken Thanks Nina. Just trying to be positive
I understand that feeling of not being able to discuss. I feel for you
@@chloeb6229 It’s the fear of being misunderstood and if you open up to the wrong person who doesn’t understand, it could make you feel worse after
@@justmadeit2 I worry that no one will understand but finding little communities like this gives me hope that I’m not alone in this, best of wishes to you 💕
OCD is really really hard.
Am kinda obsessed with my ocd or whatever it makes me happy
So glad I found out I was ocd, I almost ended my life from it
Dude I resonate so much with the lifetime stuff so it’s not just me who got triggered by lifetime too😭
I get thought ocd like this.
I love the puppet hair
I think I might be a bad person. Maybe it's my OCD, maybe it's me. I have argued with my mom so many times, and I'm not good at controlling my cool, even despite my prayers. I always apologize in the end, but the repetition and not doing better...Makes me feel like a bad person. I just can't help myself. whenever we have a fight, it's always MY fault. I have very bad OCD, and it makes me lose it, get touchy, flip out, and yell. You know, there are pairs in life where one person is practically always right and the other person is practically always wrong. Like, the winning/innocent wife and the losing/guilty husband. Well, basically, I feel that way about my mom and me. I own that I screw up and lose my cool and make our arguments worse, with my emotions, pride, and OCD. It is my fault. But that's the problem. It's always my fault. I'm always the loser here. This isn't as simple as "human beings make mistakes" or "Everybody has flaws." No, I'm part of the _real_ pathetic humans of this world, like Nick Godejohn or Joe Biden or any other politicians. I am always the source of our fights and my flaws and mistakes lead to them. I just can't seem to stop my behavior, and in addition, I have to be the loser here. I don't know what to do. If I could take a buIIet for her I would. I wish I could make up for my faults and redeem myself, but until I save her, I don't know how I can. (Not to imply I want her in danger, so don't take my words literally.)
You need to forgive yourself after you have apologized and move on. Also, try to not take anything said in an argument or disagreement with anyone to heart. Instead don't be overly defensive let it slide off your shoulders. Try to and eat healthy, get lots of sleep and take good supplements etc..
Considered just turning to a life of drugs today because my sober life with ocd is way too hard
I was born with OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I have obsession with buses 🚌 🚍 🚎 , trains 🚂 🚆 🚊 , people twitching on both eyes 👀 and perhaps 🤔 other things. 👍
I luv u sister.God grant us humor...
I can relate. Not that I’ve ever taken weed or anything.
It’s a great description and explanation of ocd but it’s crazy to hear her say weed helped, I’ve suffered with what’s feel like every type of ocd possible, especially pure o, weed made it worse, tremendously worse, to the point I didn’t think I could come back from it, I’ve also done shrooms and at the moment you hear nothing but great things about shrooms yet they messed my ocd up massively, I’ve been in a ocd loop now for what must be 7 months I’ve been in a terrible way, the intensity of the ocd over the last 7 months as been some of the worst I’ve had in years, her explanation of ocd is great thou.
How do you make it stop is there any cure
No cure just therapy , medicine or natural remedies that do help.
You are so beautiful girl😃, i understand youu complet ❤
As I’m born with OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, dated back to the year 1997 I was obsessed 🤩 😍 with the labels 🏷️ 🏷️ 🏷️ at the Spar shop 🏬 in Bear 🐻 Street, Barnstaple, North Devon, southwest of England 🏴 now it’s called Premier. I have an obsession of what I’m buying in the shop 🏬 anywhere. I have a haircut 💇♂️ used by a scissors ✂️ and a razor 🪒 to have my hair cut 💇♀️ short on number 1 is when I feel like 👍 it. I have my obsession feeding the seagulls everyday. 👍
❤
OCD can be controlled by Buspirone ❤
💪❤️
You had a car dang lucky...
??
There are a bunch of different types of OCD as well, not just obsessing over a thought.
Is that really the best starting image?
It made me just as likely to unsubscribe from WP. I was worried about clicking on it because I thought it might be malware.
Literally a suicide doll image thing kept on coming into my CZcams feed.....from the WP?!
Have I been hacked?
I can't explain why and I dont want to think about it. That image is disturbing.
Poggers.
OCD
It’s not the life you were given.. I have severe ocd but it’s not what we think.. it manifests.. it’s a demon.. we both need deliverance ✝️🙏❤️
SHES CRIME
LOL
Uhh what-
Poggers!
OCD is not funny
I still don't understand what OCD is .... You just think that what you think is not normal?
No. You *obsess* over unwanted thoughts, which *compel* you to behave ritualistically as a way to resolve the anxiety.
So, for example, someone could obsess over the compulsion to count the number of white cars they see while driving, because in their head, they might have the intrusive thought that "if I don't count the white cars, everyone I love will die." The thing that separates OCD from like schizophrenia or something, is that people with OCD are FULLY aware that their behavior is illogical. They are not delusional, in other words. In fact, the main source of the suffering is over the fact that they don't WANT to do the things they are compelled to do by the unwanted obsessions. But they have to anyway, because otherwise, the anxiety will not be resolved. Not until they do it.
@@shadow_of_thoth thank you very much! now i am much closer to understanding 😃 thank you.
No dude it's more
@@shadow_of_thoth yes 😞
OCD paralyses your brain. It makes life difficult to function because of the constant thoughts in your head