New Standards, Who Dis? How I've Raised my Standards after Lacking Them | Date Night Vlog
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- čas přidán 23. 07. 2024
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TIMES STAMPS
0:00 Choosing an outfit
5:00 Number 1
7:45 Number 2
12:!3 Number 3
16:18 Number 4
17:38 Number 5
21:14 Number 6 + Outfit option 1
24:21 Outfit option 2
27:28 Headed out
FAQS
Age: 34 (October 10th)
City: Atlanta, GA (from St. Louis, MO)
College: Spelman College (Class of '12)
Camera: Canon EOS R
Editing Software: Final Cut Pro X for MacBook
FOR BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY: Maya@NYLAinfluencers.com
DISCLAIMER My opinions are not influenced by free PR products or brand partnerships in any way. This description includes affiliate links (should you decide to make a purchase I will receive a small commission). Thanks for your support babe!
PSALM 46:5 God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. - Jak na to + styl
Ya girl been WORKING! Lol. So I didn't have time for this to be a full weekly vlog. So we'll be back with a regular weekly vlog next Sunday! 🫶🏾
Make sure you take time to heal and pray for God's will over your life in relationships or whatever area.
Maya, my only concern is that you uploading pictures showcasing you are a new homeowner and that you have luxury pieces in your wardrobe will attract the wrong type of men.
Mya, do not share your standards with the internet. My advice is to seek friendship and let it grow from there.
This is good advice
That part they will mask themselves that’s what happened with my last marriage
I did try bumble once, but reaching out to the men first just didn’t sit right in my spirit. Not saying it’s a bad thing, but definitely not for me. Especially if you want him to lead. Allow him to express his interest in you. Just my personal preference. Keep shining Queen…take your time and allow God to lead you in this season. ❤
Agreed
Yes I feel you on that
Total agreed!
❤🎉
Same.
These apps work for some people but for me I rather be friends first then things falls in place getting to know a person on that level says alot.
Even if hypothetically or realistically speaking you think you don’t have a lot to lose you shouldn’t date down. No matter where you are , the person you’re with should inspire you to be better and want you to be better
That part ✨ !!
I can always tell when Maya has a date, she’s EXTRA excited and jittery. I do admire your optimism on date nights. I’m usually like whatever happens happens, Jesus take the wheel.
lol same. All the excitement is cute but it mostly feels me with dread now lol
Yeah. Good to see someone being positive about it
I heavily relate to making sure I genuinely like the person. As I look back on most of my relationships with people I did not like them and I felt like I had to give them a “chance” just because they liked me and I found that they were nice. At my big age I am just learning to focus on if I even like the person lol
Me too Sis upon self reflection I realized I just took what was offered as if I had no other options. Every relationship was give a brother a chance.Sis let me tell you I did some Charity WORK!!!!!
Thank God for wisdom and growth!
@@ajlocs2361 yes! Cheers to wisdom 🥂
Yes, I concur. I’ve learned from experience to not talk about my boundaries. If he does something that makes me feel some type of way, I’m out. Because talking about it will make me negotiate my boundaries & I’m not in that mindset anymore. Thanks for sharing your experience ❤
No! U tell him the mistake he made or about the boundary n then monitor how he reacts. His reaction should be the dealbreaker!!!
I have been watching you Maya for years. This year I made a decision to improve my overall life. When I first started out on this journey I felt alone and unsure because change requires separation a lot of times, which includes friends. I was like God I feel so alone on this journey. Then one day I opened up CZcams and your new journey was in direct alignment with the direction God was putting me. Ever since then you’ve been my CZcams bestie lol. Thank you for these videos and sharing this journey with us ❤.
In the words of Pastor #RCBlakes "PhD Women should not entertain GED Men".❤
Baybeh! The Bishop be Bishopin! ❤❤❤
RC Blakes is the truth! Reading queenology right now
@@Zelmesha Hope to see you at the conference in August!! New Orleans was a blast!!
Just curious, if you’re not dating for anything serious, why are you dating right now? Aren’t you concerned you may actually fall for someone (or them you) and they or you are not ready?
You attract what you put out. It will end up going in the way of the energy being put out.
Hey Maya...I liked the black fit better. Anyway...i feel you on having standards/ boundaries; however, if just feel like you are expecting that perfect person. We are not perfect people and will have flaws (I know that sounds old but it's very true!). I also understand this is your life and you have the freedom to live it as you like.
I think people expect so much so soon. We have to consider that every relationship is different and will require flexibility. In my opinion, I feel that we sometimes harm our own selves because we judge the book by the cover instead of reading the entire book before we make our assumptions.
Maya, I do wish much success with your dating chronicles. Since you are a spiritual woman...Remember the good book says...."When a man FINDS a wife..." Loving your growth, positivity, and transparency as you continue to balance life and womanhood. God bless Sis 🥰
Stay off those dating sites.
Happy Sunday Galore Ladies. I pray you’ve had the best weekend ever!!!🥰🥰
Having standards/ boundaries are top tier❤ I don't know if I like the idea of talking to them first on the dating site it's like being out in public and saying excuse me and start "shooting your shot" nope lol he needs to find me and I will decide from there!
Ladies stay off that app! Let God do what God does! Please don't be SO DESPERATE that you miss the person that God has for you!! God knows exactly where you are and where he can find you💯 He doesn't need our help.
"Is the conversation great because I'm funny." A Word!!
Hi Maya. I adore you very much. I’m not throwing shade or anything but I think you’re doing too much. Don’t let one disappointment cause another. You’re beautiful intelligent and any man of stature would be very lucky to be on your arms.. just go with the flow and all your boundaries would fall into place naturally with the right person. Just saying. Happy new week.❤
I totally agree💯
Doing too much for real. 😢
How is she doing too much? By learning from her mistakes? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity toots. I think sister girl is doing just what one should expect her to do. What I would say is guard your heart Maya, but don't let the next man pay for what the last man did it didn't do. 💕
@@JaneshaTrenese even if we tried to explain it to you, you wouldn't still comprehend🤦🏽♀️
@@MrsMirandaWarren and you know this how? Lol you don't know what I can and cannot understand. Try me.
"Mirroring the essence of who he is". Wow. I never thought about that! Thank you Maya!
A word. It's so true.
Thanks Sis! I learned quickly about myself after my divorce-6 months. It was horrible! I now have none negotiables & enjoying my life as it is. God is Faithful. Real talk... so many need to hear this. Women sacrifice too much, too often. All is well with my soul! Moving forward ✨️
Hey Maya! The white dress looked very sophisticated! Good choice! The black was cute too. Hope you enjoyed your date! I’m glad you are dating around. Enjoy your singledom! When you meet “Mr. Right”, God will let you know! Happy Sunday! ❤
Who you marry or date will rub off on you? yes, the degree depends though Maya. I been married for 16 years, I am not easily influenced, so I did not take on many of my husband's traits, nor did any of the married women in my life. I think there has to be an understanding that because we are all different and need different things, the way we dwell in a relationship will look different. So, even though there are things that happen generally in relationships, they may not happen the same way.
So excited for you Maya, continue to have fun and don’t bend on those boundaries. I learned that the hard way as well. ❤❤
Maya darling, you have morphed into a beautiful and self-confident butterfly. You have me in owe every week when I see you in a new video. Keep up the great work. I am excited to see what you do and say next.❤❤❤
Maya I screamed "noooooo" at my phone when you chose that short dress!
It complemented her well but men are extremely visual… bottom portion leaves potential for mixed messages. She has great goals and I’d hate for her to be lusted after so early on.
@@Teytey871 I get what your are saying but u feel like she would be bodacious no matter how much she covers. She will just need to vet even more of motives/ intentions
The statement of dating your standard or higher because you have a lot to lose really hit for me. I feel I often here date above but that having a lot to lose shifted my perspective.
Well done Maya ❤ this for u! So proud of how ur using ur platform & all the content u are creating. 🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️
You’re using this time to plant seeds, Maya, it’s beautiful. Even if you never swipe on the man God has for you, God may reveal the fruit of a relationship in a later season with a man you passed by. The significance is you saw him now, but your blessing is still maturing and growing into ripe fruit. Your obedience began when you prayed and put yourself in spaces to meet qualified men. God has a funny way of reminding us that He is full control. Stay encouraged, Maya. Loving the content❤
This was so good and i really loved both outfits they were super cute.
Happy Sunday Maya
Another great vlog! Thank you for sharing. ❤
Happy Sunday Maya sis❤❤
Loved this!!🥰🫶🏽
Happy Sunday Maya ❤
Maya you got me yelling at the phone today girl!!!!!!! Yes baby standing on business.👏🏾👏🏾💪🏾💪🏾💋💄
I really resonated with the celibacy part. If your choosing that path you have to be intentional about your environment because the flesh is weak!
Keep them standards high… yes and yes…. You look beautiful Maya. Great video, great!!!!!!❤❤
It's so funny how I asked on your last vlog about dating apps and now you are introducing one to me. Nice going
Well put together Lady, and thanks for the dating advice 😊
Happy Sunday! I hope you're enjoying your day thus far.
Yes, Mya - I see growth! I am not the woman for you, period
WHEW!!! This was SO GOOD!!
Maya, why don't you allow God to send you your mate. Trust me it works. You are marketing yourself! What's the difference between those other sites. Remember once you put those pic selling yourself you cannot reverse it... If you believe what you say about God choosing a mate for you.... you are surely trying too hard...let God
From I’m waiting on God to give me a sign that it’s time to date to having a roster.
I agree!
MAYA!! You give me LIFE!!!!
Happy Sunday lady🥰
Happy Sunday ❤❤
Your bumble profile is so cuteeee!
Half way in and I'm loving every tip ❤
I don't know how she do it I would be Scared to date for the next 3 yrs 🤦♀️💯 ijs😁.
She's lonely and getting desperate not trying to affend just speaking truth
Since you like high value men (mentally and Financially) you should be on sites, at places where only the elite frequent. Online, you need to apply and be verified that you are who you are and have what you have before you can match or search the sites. Elite men don't have time to play/waste. It will eliminate the chance of at least Financially incapable suitors having access to you. Part of elevation is changing your plan of action along with execution 😉 We in ATL Maya...pray before these dates and we will be praying for you. Can't wait for the "post-date tea" 😂❤❤❤❤
Hey girl Hey!!! Hope you are well Maya❤
10:31 my ex was extremely pessimistic. He absolutely drained me. I always felt like I needed to regulate his emotions because he was quick to anger and upset. Exhausting!!
Favorite CZcamsr 🫶🏾🫶🏾
Maya!!!! You have no idea how this content is helping so many of us!! Especially me. Never had anyone to really talk about this topic and explain/suggest ways to go about certain things of this nature. Also the growth I have seen in you is just amazing. Please keep going and keep empowering us! ❤️❤️❤️🫶🏾
Happy Sunday Maya my beautiful friend ❤
I hope the lesson in your growth is this, that a person is male does not a leader make. Always keep that in mind, you can see a leadership mindset before a relationship is established.
This lesson ate down! 😂 thanks girl I think I’m ready to date again (6 years later) lol downloading bumble now 😬
Sis, there is nothing wrong with dating as the main aim of dating is to gather data and, in the process, you discover more about yourself and what you are looking for. In doing so, you're better able to discern certain behaviours very quickly. Similar to how you are re-discovering who you are in Christ and put negotiable or non-negotiable standards/boundaries in place, sometimes had we not been through what we've been through, we will continue to accept the things that are not for us. No more settling for who is not for us but to await God's best for us and in the process, we are deepening a healthy relationship with ourselves and Christ.
Hi Maya, you are so beautiful! Both were cute! But the black was my favorite & looked effortless & elegant. The white dress was cute, but didn’t stay in place. I don’t like to fidget in my clothes ❤
Truth about those boundaries
I think you are trying too hard; I realize that‘finding” the one is important to women wanting to marry. But what about if God wants you to stay single? Or He waits till much later in your life to send you a husband. It’s His will and not ours. Just some thoughts of mine. I am not being negative, just remember God is in control and has all the power.
Your points were excellent ❤
Are yall watching the videos to comment or are you truly watching and listening? She said everything you said at the 8:58 mark.
Factsssss… ❤❤❤standards are a must!!
I resonated so much with these standards
You go girl❤
Hey Beautiful Maya Thanks For The Tips
I hope you had a good date!!!!
Dating online scares the heck out of me, some men are literally looking for a hookup not marriage, and I would feel so uncomfortable pursuing the man first, if I am going to meet someone let it be at an event or outting that that we’re both attending and we make a connection and see if it’s worth pursuing. Theses men real spicy nowadays, in too much of a rush relationships should grow organically, not give me your list of what you want in a man, I’ll let you know when it’s necessary, just keep being you and time will always reveal who’s in it for the long haul. Blessings sis❤❤
Hey Maya Gurl! ❤
Hi Maya! It's what she said!
I understand exactly what you saying. No one is perfect. My daddy was a gd father. The way that he did for us with growing up as far as cars and the way he treats my mom also our vehicle and a whole list of other things. If the man I'm dating is not doing that I'm not interested in him. He has to be working and want something in life. Be respectful and going to church. The list goes on. 😂😂😂
I’ve learned never date someone you are more into!
PREACH ! What can you teach me!
No 4 is a non-negotiable for sure! He has to not only know God he has to have a personal relationship with Him! How can a man lead unless he know Who to follow 😊🙏🏽
Hi, Maya! 😌✌🏾🩷
It feels good knowing that I’m not the only one that has lived in Delulu Land. Cheers to raising our standards all 2024🥂
Sis, I'm luv'n these Date Night Vlogs... It makes me feel like I'm in my favorite class hanging on to the instructors every word😆.... 🤩🧡
Honestly, I hope this was only a video because of your sponsorship because you just need to leave dating content alone. I truly want to know what drove you to get married cause how are you realising these things now after you told us that god told you thats your husband. you do not seem to have any great relationship experiences
I tried to do bumble but I am too chicken to reach out first so it's safe to say I deleted the app HAAAAAAAAAAA🤪
U must try dressing in colors u are beautiful u wud look fabulous
I hope you wore the white . Better than wearing the stomach out . Not bad but not first date vibes either . Loved this video and I absolutely agree. I don’t even respond to text after a certain time . If they invite me to their home or wanna come over to soon I automatically stop talking to them
It's the "Joking but not joking" for me. Because, where is the lie!
Hey yall.M ay you look gorgeous in both outfits. I actually would not choose either outfit on a first date.. The white color looking dress seems kinda event type dress and the black I would'nt show mid driff skin at all.. I would wear a bodycon type dress with a lil back out or criss cross type design around the neck or a nice dressy jumpsuit (not leggins type cat suit) thats straight leg or even a nice top like off shoulder with some cargo style semi dressy pants with the scrunch bottom
A lady never wears pants on a first date.
I agree , do not lower your standards for any man👏
It was the white ❤
Maybe it’s me but… after my breakup I grieved for a long time before even thinking of putting myself out there again. And I certainly wasn’t on my social media platforms giving out advice.
Hi! Just a heads up about a grammatical error in your thumbnail title - the word “weren’t” is misspelled.
1M by summer …because Maya is at 501M
How do you see yourself what are you willing to put up with as it pertains to the scrutiny that you will place on yourself
Hey Maya...loved today's video ❤. Quick question from a younger sis, how do you differentiate settling on your standards and not compromising while at the same time not expecting perfection from an imperfect human?...
@beauty_nguka I know this question was directed at Maya, but I'll respond since there's no reply, and this might help. I'd say the first step is to know what your standards are and why they are important to you.
It's important to differentiate between standards (Non-negotiables i.e things that have dire consequences and affect you negatively if you ignore them E.g your core values) and Negotiables/qualities that are nice to have but you can ignore, because they have a less negative effect on your well-being if overlooked.
Once you can differentiate between those and their significance in your life, you will be able to prioritize and know what standards you must keep and what minor imperfections you can overlook.
Another way to gauge is their response when you point it out. Are they arrogant and dismissive about it? Ask yourself: will I be okay if this never changes? If the answer is no, then let them go; that's a standard you shouldn't let go of. If it's something not as important and you can ignore and still be happy, that can be overlooked.
PS: Don't ever fall into the temptation of second-guessing yourself about your non-negotiables, some might try to gaslight you by reminding you that you aren't perfect too but stand on business as regards the non-negotiables. You deserve to be happy and fully satisfied. Compromising those will only lead to heartache and depression if you remain in an unhealthy/ unwholesome relationship. ❤❤
@@abiesdew4319 Thank you so much for the insight...I really appreciate the response❤️
Key Takeaways and Classic lines...
LEAD me, I shouldn't BE the only one with knowledge. 2nd..I gotta like you! #LibraTingz
Hey Maya 👋🏽🩷
YAYYYYYY🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Bumble didnt work for me I matched with a man we were vibing then he ghost me and other one was acting weird
90% of the men online dating aren't good men.
Yeah. They think they are the catch on there so many of them are low effort.
You should get your hair professionally cut after you install it. That will take you to another level. Omg
So true I hadn't start cussing till I got with my dude
Correction, to God🙏🏽❤️
Hi Maya- hope this reaches you. You talked about not having a strong father figure in your life. I really encourage you to watch at least one of RC Blakes’ videos on healing before your next date. I was raised by and have an EXCELLENT relationship with my father and Bishop Blakes still touches me. I pray he touches you. Trust me- his advice will make you stronger.
The black was a better and classy look.
Pls pls be careful.. men will mirror your wants and desires until they can’t anymore and that can be 1 day-10 yrs. Blessings to you and your new journey.