Stoicism's Tips For Solving Problems With People

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  • čas přidán 6. 06. 2024
  • Ryan Holiday breaks down his strategies for how the Stoic responds to problems with people.
    It’s a fact of life that we will encounter rude people. It happens every day. People cut in line. People lie and take credit for your work. Not only will this happen, but many times there will be no consequences for this.
    00:00 Intro
    00:58 Care Less About People's Opinion
    01:55 Be Honest
    02:27 Don't Take Things Personally
    03:19 Be Patient
    4:15 Be An Example
    4:52 Tune Out The Haters
    05:53 Be Full OF Love
    06:47 Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
    07:46 Cherish Your Loved Ones
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Komentáře • 1,7K

  • @mikeg3439
    @mikeg3439 Před 2 lety +2545

    53 years has taught me to have very low expectations of people and to guard against this. The result has been I'm very very rarely surprised or upset at the conduct of others. Once in a while I'm delighted at the goodness of someone and it brightens my day.

    • @marikalathem813
      @marikalathem813 Před 2 lety +51

      Mike G: an interesting and likely brilliant approach to dealing with the human condition✌️

    • @deconstructedbyrishabh6415
      @deconstructedbyrishabh6415 Před 2 lety +15

      Beautiful

    • @YoHo18
      @YoHo18 Před 2 lety +25

      My dad used to say exactly that to me.

    • @lexiemaep7930
      @lexiemaep7930 Před 2 lety +40

      I have yet to see any goodness...where do you find these "good" people?😅

    • @marikalathem813
      @marikalathem813 Před 2 lety +43

      @@lexiemaep7930 : oh my goodness, I had to reply… so true✌️
      Edit: isn’t that why we are all on these channels…? Trying to make sense of the craziness we have encountered…?

  • @nichole2757
    @nichole2757 Před 2 lety +468

    A note on giving empathy toward people who make a mistake; be sure to protect yourself in those situations and be sure that you’re not just enabling a cycle of abuse. But generally being a more forgiving person is a beautiful thing

    • @DefundTheFringes
      @DefundTheFringes Před 2 lety +30

      Like the times when narcissists appear to care about others.

    • @tos100returns
      @tos100returns Před rokem +20

      Forgive them before you cast them into The Cold Abyss for their transgressions.

    • @chuck1804
      @chuck1804 Před rokem +20

      Hear, hear! "Be compassionate, but alert to narcissism" should be a modern day hallmark of stoicism.

    • @joincoffee9383
      @joincoffee9383 Před rokem +30

      The advice to be patient with bad behaviors is totally wrong when it’s a narcissist or cluster B personalities you are dealing with. It is gaslighting the victims, making them even more confused. it prolongs and deepen their suffering. Psychopath sociopath, narcissist, borderlines, these abusive personalities needs the opposite of patience.

    • @zorbathegeek
      @zorbathegeek Před rokem +7

      You can give someone empathy, but also give them a wide path in the future, I would suggest.

  • @FFLL2112
    @FFLL2112 Před rokem +544

    2 things:
    1) When treated bad or talked down to, I literally say to myself I’m so glad I’m not like you and then I say or do something positive in return. There’s a huge wave of positive emotion that comes from focusing 100% on your positive reaction.. not their negative infringement
    2) in life, don’t use any negative language. Every word has an energy.. every curse word is negative.. don’t attach any negative energy to any of your words and watch your life change almost instantly

    • @jackhaugh
      @jackhaugh Před rokem +34

      That’s not true at all. If you yell out “F*** Yeah” at a concert when your favorite band plays your favorite song, it’s actually very positive!

    • @dmreddragon6
      @dmreddragon6 Před rokem +28

      @@FFLL2112 -Why would we go to church? Why would we yell in a quiet environment?
      I do like your #1 though. Thank you for sharing that.

    • @Rino37
      @Rino37 Před rokem +37

      @@FFLL2112context matters. Life is full of nuance. Thinking in black and white can be problematic sometimes.

    • @1summerflower
      @1summerflower Před rokem

      ❤🎉

    • @andrewhunter9119
      @andrewhunter9119 Před rokem

      @FFLL2112 and why not? I would gladly go to a church and yell out fuck yeah. If it were a normal place for the crowd to express themselves i dont see why not. If a church ostracizes you for positively expressing that you support the church...wouldnt that make the church exactly the kind of evil or "shitty ppl" he keeps reffering to this whole video. This outdated boomer logic of curse words are BAD is antiquated. Words are words. Intent is whats important. Its the same gun argument. Guns arent inherently evil just as words arent. Whats evil or good is how theyre used. Stop hating ppl for speaking their comfortable dialect, you beautiful son of a bitch!

  • @manckid7795
    @manckid7795 Před 2 lety +421

    I loved that: “you’d be envious of yourself if you didn’t have the things you have right now” on comparing yourself to others. Thank you❤️

    • @gj9933
      @gj9933 Před 2 lety +10

      Yes this resonated with me so much! I will do this thought exercise from now on.

    • @nineteenfortyeight6762
      @nineteenfortyeight6762 Před rokem +1

      Counterproductive if you don't have much

    • @ElRammo
      @ElRammo Před 11 měsíci +2

      @@nineteenfortyeight6762you could have less. It always applies.

  • @jackiesantangelo6610
    @jackiesantangelo6610 Před 2 lety +626

    The Four Agreements - took me years to stop taking life personally. The world is indifferent to me, people aren't out to hurt me, they want to enrich themselves. I choose Joy everyday. Good one, Texas Son.

    • @MrAllywood79
      @MrAllywood79 Před 2 lety

      Won't recommend The four agreement?

    • @classygary
      @classygary Před 2 lety +15

      So sorry but oh yes indeed some are specifically out to hurt you… if only by enriching themselves with their indifference . There’s is nothing worse than indifference.

    • @chicagobearstj20
      @chicagobearstj20 Před 2 lety +7

      The Four Agreements was lent to me when I was travelling at it is to this day still on of the best books I’ve read especially about taking things personally, it’s crazy you know inside but you can’t explain it in full why you’re anxious etc. That’s why I feel like these books help understand better

    • @ivoryquays6661
      @ivoryquays6661 Před 2 lety

      Good comment Jackie. Live long and prosper.

    • @smarteranna24
      @smarteranna24 Před 2 lety

      Totally agree! This did the same for me. Love Ryan holidays work changing my life

  • @soryantolyan
    @soryantolyan Před 2 lety +138

    The part about cherishing loved ones really got me. I spent years chasing people and fighting for one-sided relationships while ignoring those who were there for me. Now I give love where I receive it and feel much happier

    • @tos100returns
      @tos100returns Před rokem +9

      Remember that "loved ones" are people, too, and PEOPLE SUCK!
      Also, you're a people. And me. You are the "other" to every single person on the planet.

    • @AyushmaanMishra
      @AyushmaanMishra Před rokem +1

      @@tos100returns Wait a sec... YOURE A PEOPLE?! YOU SUCK!!!!!1!1!1!!!

    • @cindyrobertson3780
      @cindyrobertson3780 Před 9 měsíci

      ​@@tos100returnsI love my parents 💖

  • @JDLambright
    @JDLambright Před 2 lety +66

    "Enough will never be enough for the person who thinks enough is too little." Wow. This gives a lot of perspective on our society today. So many people are focused on gaining wealth that they don't appreciate the riches they already have. Great video!

    • @angusmorrison9433
      @angusmorrison9433 Před rokem

      The old “he who dies with the most toys wins” scam. Same as believing “greed is good” (they can’t think for themselves and believed a movie script). A lot of rich people buy into sh*t like that.

    • @DSAK55
      @DSAK55 Před 9 měsíci

      Too Much Is Not Enough

  • @UltimateBargains
    @UltimateBargains Před rokem +71

    "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind, always." -- Robin Williams

    • @martywilliard
      @martywilliard Před rokem +1

      AMEN! Together we can help each other through the occasional molasses experiences

  • @rickaguilar1833
    @rickaguilar1833 Před rokem +138

    As a teenager, and religious, I believed everyone was honest and good! But I was surprised when I found out how people are mean and lie!

    • @maureendoyle6632
      @maureendoyle6632 Před rokem +11

      Sadly especially in the church. Patriarchy

    • @yoonahkang7384
      @yoonahkang7384 Před rokem +10

      That is called growing up 😅

    • @SkyHammackDrones
      @SkyHammackDrones Před rokem +7

      ​@@maureendoyle6632 is patriarchy your signature?

    • @waqstar7067
      @waqstar7067 Před rokem +1

      Yes I still feel this way. Can't really grasp it.

    • @joanndeck4315
      @joanndeck4315 Před rokem +10

      @@yoonahkang7384 it’s a “realization” rather than “growing up” I’d say it’s more like “growing down”😅. Some of us are born with THAT MUCH inherent “goodness”….high MORALS and VALUES that it is difficult for others whose standards are not that high….to understand. This causes cognitive dissonance in the person with high morals once the realization sets in. It’s too bad that we are outnumbered in this world. It’s also too bad that a lack of morals is seen as the “standard” and those of us with inherent good qualities are seen as naive. Backwards thinking for sure…but all too common in the population 😊

  • @IM-uh5tk
    @IM-uh5tk Před 2 lety +211

    1. Care less about people's opinions.
    2. Be honest.
    3. Don't things personally.
    4. Be patient.
    5. Be an example.
    6. Tune out the haters.
    7. Be full of love.
    8. Stop comparing yourself to others.
    9. Cherish your loves ones.

    • @123jmccoy
      @123jmccoy Před rokem +13

      Thanks. I really don't like this guy's presentation style with all the pointing. But good to get the summary.

    • @cristinaevans139
      @cristinaevans139 Před rokem +3

      Thanks 🙏 for the notes ,I have brain fog and it makes it hard to write notes ❤thank you 😊

    • @mychicksrthick
      @mychicksrthick Před rokem +10

      Being honest has screwed me over w all my jobs.

    • @luciantudor1527
      @luciantudor1527 Před rokem +3

      *3. Take

    • @sstolarik
      @sstolarik Před rokem +1

      Thanks for the list. Much appreciated.

  • @Drpermer
    @Drpermer Před 2 lety +79

    Actually, the best philosophy to dealing with people I received by working with radionuclides. There are three basic safety strategies with radioactive materials, 1) time, 2) distance, and 3) shielding. More specifically, minimize the amount of time you spend with people, when you must spend time with people, maximize your distance away from others, and where possible, use physical and emotional shields when near people.

    • @vladkagreen1824
      @vladkagreen1824 Před rokem +13

      LOL I love it!! Treating people like radioactive material!

    • @mammajamma4397
      @mammajamma4397 Před rokem +5

      Love this

    • @JamesAlexander14
      @JamesAlexander14 Před rokem +9

      Or you could simply just accept people for whom they are and just move on🙏

    • @Drpermer
      @Drpermer Před rokem +5

      @@JamesAlexander14 Accept, no; move on from them, yup

    • @trophyscene5015
      @trophyscene5015 Před rokem +7

      @@vladkagreen1824 they really are though. When stupid people are around me, I feel like I'm infected with something and Must Escape asap lol

  • @sideswiped6874
    @sideswiped6874 Před 2 lety +35

    it took me 50 years to understand that the family I was born into is the worst people in my life (every day was just another day with them. that is why I put-up with them so long!!). you go into a marriage knowing and understanding that it just may fail. but you don't go around thinking that the family you were born into would come to be the worst people in your life. it's been 6 years and it's getting easer for me. yes it still hurts at times.
    they have lost what I had for them. and they have no insight to understand what they have lost. I looked up-to my mother, father and brother for 50 years. not anymore. they have lost what I had for them.

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Před rokem +10

      Same here. We are the Family Scapegoats. They exchange us (the Truth) for a bowl of earthly pottage (our portion of the family inheritance).

    • @v.m.8472
      @v.m.8472 Před rokem +3

      @@reesedaniel5835 same

    • @mychicksrthick
      @mychicksrthick Před rokem +1

      What did they do to you or what happened details plz?

    • @LawNerd23
      @LawNerd23 Před rokem

      You pity them because you understand now that their life was better with you in it? That's very egotistical of you to say. Maybe you ought to rethink that. Based on that comment alone, maybe they are doing just fine without you.

    • @Wassenhoven420
      @Wassenhoven420 Před rokem

      @@LawNerd23 You sound like his crazy Mother. You cannot assume someone is better off without family because of one sentence. I can see that you are not that smart.

  • @Soapandwater6
    @Soapandwater6 Před 2 lety +85

    Ryan, I love how you get down to business and start your video right away instead of wasting time doing banal introductions and trite greetings, etc. All of your strategies are useful and spot on.
    For those people who are feeling unloved, remember there are 2 ways to feel love. One is to receive it, the other is to give it away. It's true. You feel it when you give it away.

  • @Falconlibrary
    @Falconlibrary Před rokem +18

    I've gravitated towards Stoicism because it seems the philosophy with the most "real world" applicability.
    I have terrible neighbors whose bad behavior used to distress me greatly. I expected them to behave as, well, neighbors.
    They no longer disturb me because of my Stoic response. I do not let them steal my peace of mind from me, and I've noticed an uplift in my daily mood as a result. I was letting them control me and now I am my own master. It was not their actions but my response to their actions that was the source of my difficulty; I cannot control them, but I can control myself.
    And for that revelation, I can thank a nearly two thousand year old philosophy practiced by one of the great Roman emperors.

    • @cyn7842
      @cyn7842 Před 10 měsíci

      And also, I hope you own a gun..
      Negligent neighbors 😑😒
      Suck.!👎

  • @lexiemaep7930
    @lexiemaep7930 Před 2 lety +47

    I have spent 39 years being a good person. Giving to ungrateful people, always helping others, always trying to be the best me I could be. After being stolen from by people I gave things to has basically broken the camel's back. I'm done. People suck. Tired of the lying, stealing, cheating. I am done with people

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Před rokem +8

      Same here.

    • @AGENTARMES
      @AGENTARMES Před rokem +6

      He didn’t say to be a door mat. He says lower your expectations of others

    • @lexiemaep7930
      @lexiemaep7930 Před rokem +8

      @@AGENTARMES I wasn't being a doormat. I like helping people. But the last two people I helped stole from me right after I helped them so I cut them off completely. I only have 1 expectation when I give, that the person won't steal more right after and even that was asking too much.

    • @justdev8965
      @justdev8965 Před rokem +10

      ​@@lexiemaep7930 get a non human friend. They put even the best human to shame.
      cat, dog, lamb, koala doesn't matter... they'll show gratitude

    • @lindachristianson196
      @lindachristianson196 Před 10 měsíci +4

      I always had good jobs and chose not to have children. By nature, I’m generous. I have given thousands and thousands of dollars to my siblings and their children. Now, all these years later, I’m a senior with no one in my family who cares if I live or die. Recently I find myself googling CZcams videos about loneliness and forgiveness. Thank God I have God.

  • @sarahdunn2680
    @sarahdunn2680 Před rokem +60

    My elderly friend told me to treat everyone as a cheat and a liar and and I thought this was a terrible way at looking at life .You won’t be disappointed but on the odd occasion you’ll find a real jewel like I did with her .

    • @bill7853
      @bill7853 Před rokem +3

      So you took her advice and ignored what she said I presume ?😉

    • @justdev8965
      @justdev8965 Před rokem +1

      ​@@bill7853 🤣 LMAO everyone is a guru today. Love your response, made me laugh

    • @michaelvalentino2349
      @michaelvalentino2349 Před 3 měsíci

      Well this works if you want to stay safe, but it comes at a cost. Like most of life there is a trade off for everything we do.

  • @lightgiver7311
    @lightgiver7311 Před 2 lety +153

    Thoreau expressed the same thought by saying, “To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, nor even to found a school … it is to solve some of the problems of life, not only theoretically, but practically.”

    • @tenzinryanlee9782
      @tenzinryanlee9782 Před 2 lety +4

      I really it, much appreciate and thank you 🖖

    • @67NewEngland
      @67NewEngland Před 2 lety +2

      Thoreau was a great mind. So many nuggets in his writing. Simplify!

    • @bnsgokugreat
      @bnsgokugreat Před rokem

      Wow

    • @barbarajoyce4737
      @barbarajoyce4737 Před rokem

      I can’t help but wonder when Henry David Thoreau write this if he was thinking of his contemporary, Bronson Alcott, the father of Louisa May Alcott. 🤔

  • @2tallnegrito7cmn55
    @2tallnegrito7cmn55 Před 2 lety +68

    Do not know who you are, but you have no idea how happy I found this video.

    • @amit.paul.10
      @amit.paul.10 Před 2 lety +2

      Thanks for saying what I wanted to say 😊👍

    • @kesplays9929
      @kesplays9929 Před 2 lety +4

      Thanks from me too 😁

    • @langwell21
      @langwell21 Před 2 lety +8

      His name is Ryan Holiday. He has published quite a few Books. I’m listening to one now. I recently just found out about him too

    • @stevefowler6943
      @stevefowler6943 Před 2 lety +2

      Ya, I thoroughly enjoy all of his stuff. He's got a few books and some kickass interviews with guys like Tom Bilyeu that are great as well

    • @deltatango6793
      @deltatango6793 Před 2 lety

      Buy his books. I love his audiobooks. Hearing him deliver these messages is amazing and inspiring. Motivating. Supporting. All that you need.

  • @strangemagic4704
    @strangemagic4704 Před rokem +14

    You're right about the fact that sometimes nothing is ever enough for other people and I've come to realize, sometimes it's just time to walk away.

  • @onisgagan2481
    @onisgagan2481 Před 2 lety +28

    I don’t know if this message found me, or I found it, either way I feel like a pauper who just found a pot of gold…
    Thank you Ryan.

  • @elizabethbarnes3969
    @elizabethbarnes3969 Před 2 lety +121

    Thank you Ryan. I look forward to these videos very much. I began the “Stoic Path” after reading Sharon Labell’s The Art of Living. It is dog eared and well lived. Now, I have your talks, so well thought out, as a daily companion on my journey. Incidentally, I’m 79+ and will never stop learning more about living the life I intend. It’s never too late to begin anew.

  • @YOUROLDFRIEND666
    @YOUROLDFRIEND666 Před rokem +6

    When people say or do negative things to me it makes me feel glad that I can see who they are; and I feel even better to know I'm not like them.

  • @KidFresh71
    @KidFresh71 Před rokem +9

    "If you want to feel good, do good. If you want to receive love, put love out into the world." Such sage advice!

    • @justdev8965
      @justdev8965 Před rokem +1

      Life experience shows us that, on the contrary, when you do good, you receive the worst.
      So whoever you heard that from was either talking out of their ass, or doesn't have enough life experience to give advice.

    • @gzoechi
      @gzoechi Před 9 měsíci

      It probably depends on the reason why you do good. If doing good feels good it's OK.
      If you do good because you expect a positive reaction from the environment, you are doomed.

  • @elsiemarina2572
    @elsiemarina2572 Před 2 lety +52

    "When have I done that?" Exactly the question I ask myself when I watch how my adult children are behaving now. I understand they are dealing with pain and still growing up. You cannot put an old head on young shoulders but you can be patient and help them.

    • @Slayer2000
      @Slayer2000 Před 2 lety +6

      Eventually you have to let them fall, or they'll never learn to grow on their own and always be dependent on you.

    • @Michaelhateshandles
      @Michaelhateshandles Před 2 lety +1

      Well said indeed. Excellent perspective!

    • @tos100returns
      @tos100returns Před rokem +2

      I have given some things thought, especially in current times.
      I've thought about it. Nope. I never worshipped a celebrity who got me so angry that I tried to overthrow the United States government in an armed in surrection.
      No, I haven't done that.

  • @taabishkhanself-improvemen7331

    *”Making a big life change is pretty scary. But, you know what’s even scarier? Regret.”*
    Love from a small CZcamsr💙

    • @yehudimcewan5167
      @yehudimcewan5167 Před 2 lety

      How can regret bring fear as fear is about something that might happen and not what didn't happen?

  • @chrishouston1708
    @chrishouston1708 Před 2 lety +216

    One of Ryan’s best videos yet. They keep getting better and better. I love waking up and watching these to get my day started. Thank you Ryan!

    • @PlazaMoon
      @PlazaMoon Před 2 lety +3

      I'm assuming your day is just great after watching this.

    • @Greg_Chase
      @Greg_Chase Před 2 lety +1

      Important thing to remember:
      Everyone is a shambone. That includes me and you.
      All part of the shambone circus.
      That means no one has any leverage over you.
      Only bluffing. "I'll bust out some impressive jargon and rumors of personal success to blow them away."
      Nope. You have no leverage over anyone. Do you want to be real or a laughing stock when you leave the room?
      _Choose now_
      .

    • @ashcam1791
      @ashcam1791 Před 2 lety +2

      Same here. Totally a great way to start the day. Cheers my friend (*lifting morning cup of coffee in your direction).

  • @nickp3949
    @nickp3949 Před 2 lety +70

    As an empath, it just sucks for me because a negative person or a person that I don’t get along with…it really takes a lot out of me. It could put my head in an extremely negative space. I can’t change how it makes me feel. I can change how I think about it, but how it makes me feel from within, whether it bothers me at my core or not…I can’t change that.

    • @voidson9483
      @voidson9483 Před rokem +19

      Youre not an empath, you just have emotions and we aren’t in control of our emotions. we are in control of how you react to those emotions.

    • @99guspuppet8
      @99guspuppet8 Před rokem +3

      @@voidson9483 …. ❤❤❤ …. Let’s all go to Sugar rock Candy Mountain

    • @Prosecute-fauci
      @Prosecute-fauci Před rokem +7

      @@voidson9483 yep. The folks who call themselves “empaths” are just admitting that they have no control over themselves when they feel an emotion. I’m pretty sure it’s a prefrontal cortex issue. No impulse control.

    • @cincin4515
      @cincin4515 Před rokem +3

      Translation.
      Empath = drama queen.

    • @RK-bj8ho
      @RK-bj8ho Před rokem +3

      People who claim to be empaths are usually narcissist

  • @TonyRedunzo
    @TonyRedunzo Před 2 lety +100

    You got me in the first 5 seconds with "people suck...." Finally a youtube philosopher who doesn't sugarcoat! Exploring stoicism and the teachings of Marcus Aurelius has made me realize I've always been a stoic. If I could just stop being annoyed when people who I don't like and respect don't like and respect me. How ironic. Liked and subbed

    • @SS-gx7tg
      @SS-gx7tg Před 2 lety +1

      lol stoicism. Keep bottling up your true nature and drowning your emotions, gents. Eventually that cork will pop and everything you've bottled up will explode. You're gonna hate the result.

    • @TonyRedunzo
      @TonyRedunzo Před 2 lety +11

      @@SS-gx7tg You actually make a good point. Suppression and aversion can make for sleepless nights and existential crises. There's more I don't know about stoicism than i do but I learned from buddhist philosophy that a person should not deny feelings and monkey mind thoughts. Let them arise and pass. Don't become ATTACHED to anything. What is "true nature" People define it differently. I've been trying to find my true nature for many years and I can't find anything.

    • @anntrope491
      @anntrope491 Před rokem +5

      The PARADOX OF HUMAN RELATIONS...EXPECTING SOMETHING FROM OTHERS...WE DON'T OFFER THEM...

    • @anntrope491
      @anntrope491 Před rokem +5

      @@TonyRedunzo BE like the willow...flexible, resilient, not rigid like the oak...

    • @TonyRedunzo
      @TonyRedunzo Před rokem +2

      @@anntrope491
      “The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm.”
      ― Confucius

  • @daevable
    @daevable Před 2 lety +20

    I needed to hear about this kind of advice and lifestyle. Right now I’m full of anger, disappointment and I don't want to continue like this because I know I'm hurting myself. It is difficult to accept that someone from your own family makes you go through so many problems, fights among many other things. I understand that we have to forgive, turn the page but it is very difficult for me to do that. On the other hand I am filling myself with hatred and I am very clear that this is not right.

    • @justdev8965
      @justdev8965 Před rokem +4

      It's so messed up. The very people claiming to care for you place the biggest hurdles to your success and what's worst, they stab the sharpest daggers to your emotional well-being.
      Much love for people like you. Probably because I can relate.

    • @DKR-1881
      @DKR-1881 Před 11 měsíci +4

      I hear you.

    • @Rachel-jh2mx
      @Rachel-jh2mx Před 8 měsíci

      Hope you’re in a better place nowadays.

    • @daevable
      @daevable Před 8 měsíci

      @@Rachel-jh2mx Getting there :)

  • @heavymeddle28
    @heavymeddle28 Před 2 lety +170

    The positive thing about getting older, I'm 50 now, is that the faster the years go by the less I give a dang what people think of me. I'm not here to impress anyone else than my old doberman. You just realise that everyone won't love you no matter how hard you try. In fact i love the ones that don't try to be someone they're not 😊

    • @marcusjones2382
      @marcusjones2382 Před 2 lety +1

      well said

    • @heavymeddle28
      @heavymeddle28 Před 2 lety

      @@marcusjones2382 thank you 😊 That is how I honestly feel and wish I had felt as younger too

    • @marcusjones2382
      @marcusjones2382 Před 2 lety +3

      @@heavymeddle28 I'm half your age. any advice?

    • @heavymeddle28
      @heavymeddle28 Před 2 lety +12

      @@marcusjones2382 hehehe, the only thing I can think of is that you're always gonna be 25. Just that one day you realise that the mirror doesn't agree with you on that anymore. And if I could get one more life and do things differently, it would be to take care of my family and loved ones more. And I wouldn't touch drugs. Those are my two things that I'd like to have done differently 😊

    • @marcusjones2382
      @marcusjones2382 Před 2 lety +2

      @@heavymeddle28 thanks

  • @j4513
    @j4513 Před rokem +37

    Something I tell myself when faced with rudeness: only unhappy people are rude to others.
    Then I think - well how unfortunate they are so unhappy in their own lives.
    Those who truly have happiness and contentment in their lives - it’s a natural extension of themselves to treat others with kindness.

    • @aicerg
      @aicerg Před rokem +5

      Maybe all rude people are unhappy, but not all unhappy people are rude.

    • @justdev8965
      @justdev8965 Před rokem

      Profound stupidity in this statement. Many "happy" people are self absorbed and the absolute worst piece of garbage you can meet. It has got nothing to do with happiness.

  • @reginasemenenko148
    @reginasemenenko148 Před 2 lety +4

    Ryan, I'm so glad you have popped up in my youtube feed. I studied Stoicism in a philosophy course many years ago and was intrigued. I found your youtube channel during the pandemic and it has changed my life! I've been listening to you very often and reading Marcus Aurelius as well as Epictetus and others Stoic philosophers. I'm so glad that I'm beginning to learn how to be unbothered. I am at the beginning of my journey and I have much more to learn, but it's so nice to be able to enjoy the journey more and not just the destination! I've been working on being content rather than being happy as contentment is realistic and happiness is fleeting. I am so thankful to you for introducing me to this wonderful philosophy and way of life.

  • @abdonassar2180
    @abdonassar2180 Před 2 lety +211

    these are 9 tips not 8
    1 - 00:58 Care Less About People's Opinion
    2 - 01:55 Be Honest
    3- 02:27 Don't Take Things Personally
    4- 03:19 Be Patient
    5- 4:15 Be An Example
    6 - 4:52 Tune Out The Haters
    7 - 05:53 Be Full OF Love
    8 - 06:47 Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
    9 - 07:46 Cherish Your Loved Ones

    • @orsie200
      @orsie200 Před rokem +16

      abdo nassar,
      I love when commenters do this. Thank you.

    • @tiredofallthis7716
      @tiredofallthis7716 Před rokem +1

      Yeah, user cliff notes are great. These ideas or life hacks didn’t begin with Marcus Aurelius, though I take nothing away from him for his realization of truth.

    • @andrewhunter9119
      @andrewhunter9119 Před rokem +2

      #10 - stop correcting ppl when they misnumber their youtube videos bahahaha jk

    • @monicaramirez51015
      @monicaramirez51015 Před rokem

      ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤yes❤

    • @Aleyah
      @Aleyah Před rokem

      Thank you!

  • @18Bees
    @18Bees Před 2 lety +159

    Love the opening “People suck…” But we don’t have to. Tnx for posting today.

    • @pits7035
      @pits7035 Před 2 lety +1

      @@sfjlfkjsdlfkjds and you don't care bout that, neither do they ahahaha it goes on

    • @hermesnoelthefourthway
      @hermesnoelthefourthway Před 2 lety

      Nothing succeeds like a budgerigar

    • @tos100returns
      @tos100returns Před rokem +1

      But WE are people, and you are an "other" to everyone on the entire planet.

    • @tos100returns
      @tos100returns Před rokem

      @@hermesnoelthefourthway They're a tasty snack. I like the yellow ones.

  • @ryoung3837
    @ryoung3837 Před 2 lety +11

    Thanks Ryan, I watched your video a few times, ruminating on the situation I find myself in with poor mental health and challenges at work seeming beyond my control. This video resonated with me and forced my to concentrate on me, doing my best and appreciating my family. Maybe today, I give myself and other people a break. 42 year old dude nearly in tears now. Please keep up the good work, what you do is important to our community.

    • @68M35A2
      @68M35A2 Před rokem +1

      You hang in there bro, I’ll cry with you.

  • @aurorealis3249
    @aurorealis3249 Před 2 lety +4

    Excellent blueprint for life. As one who has studied psychology and counseled those who are on the brink of suicide, despair and loneliness - the Stoics have been time-tested and critically relevant today more than ever. Thank you for this clear and applicable philosophy in a concise video presentation. I apply the teachings of Stoicism everyday - it has made a world of difference!

  • @pac2840
    @pac2840 Před 2 lety +9

    I'm the 2nd of 12 kids, only 13 years and no twins, little space between us. I remember being in 3rd grade and feeling jealous that my older sister was a much better students. Then I looked around and noticed if I was going to compare myself to my siblings, it would be exhausting and a losing game. One of them was probably going to be better than me at pretty much everything. Better to stay focused on myself and not worry about what they were doing. I only needed to be me. A very freeing moment that has stood me well.

  • @das9636
    @das9636 Před 2 lety +41

    As a misanthropic stoic, I find this video immensely helpful! People are everywhere, and they SUCK

    • @junkjunk2493
      @junkjunk2493 Před 2 lety +5

      misanthropic ??? you wanna hugg ? ha , made my day , thx

    • @user-mg9en3gb9n
      @user-mg9en3gb9n Před rokem

      if it's only thing you have understand from the video it's sad

    • @tos100returns
      @tos100returns Před rokem +1

      Back in 1983, when I was 18, my college roommate invited me to drink beers at his brother's house. His brother was a 40-year-old Marine. When I asked him if he was married, he first gave me a lecture about how he owned EVERYTHING in the house, including the house, outright. No mortgages or loans.
      Then he looked me in the eye and he told me something that I will never forget.
      "People are pieces of shit and they deserve to be obliterated."
      I'm not in the business of obliteration. But the first half, totally. And Stoicism confirmed that ALL humans are pieces of shit. It would be foolish to look in the mirror and determine one's own self to be the exception.

    • @user-mg9en3gb9n
      @user-mg9en3gb9n Před rokem

      @@tos100returnssorry for you pal

  • @cameronmckay3504
    @cameronmckay3504 Před rokem +4

    Stocism is something I've practiced for years without having a language to describe my philosophy until now. I read meditations and it hit home so perfectly. To be expected, most writings about stoicism have been chunky at best and this channel has been great to refresh, clarify and chew thoughts. Thank you for the channel and content

  • @theresebrandser
    @theresebrandser Před rokem +1

    Thank you. I had an incident recently where a friend said something hurtful/gossip about me. I thought about the times I behaved the same, and came to the realization that I behaved that way in hopes of making friends or fitting in. It’s easier to forgive someone when you can see yourself in them. Your video helped me see that. ❤️

  • @goodie7557
    @goodie7557 Před 2 lety +14

    I am one of those people who suck at times. I am working to be more aware of my thoughts and behaviors in difficult situations. I wish I could love myself more. I’m working on it. Ryan is a huge help!

    • @terkelalgevind529
      @terkelalgevind529 Před 2 lety

      I wish the gynocrntric order never was, most of todays problems Lies in fatherless homes and ofx that means zero stoicism learned in the most important of years, the forming years..

    • @BetwixtDandD
      @BetwixtDandD Před rokem +2

      We ALL suck at times. But if you are honest about it and try to suck less and less often, you are better than most.

  • @Shanksterfaraibless
    @Shanksterfaraibless Před 2 lety +7

    I agree, definitely one of the best videos thus far. Thanks for this, I can’t thank you enough for opening my eyes to stoicism, it’s changed the last two years of my life. Your books, courses and virtual mentorship has been life altering. Thanks.
    Sarangan from Toronto

  • @swampdogdiggity
    @swampdogdiggity Před rokem +1

    It feels so good to hear someone else say people suck and give all the reasons why. Brutal truth.

  • @thetechguy3993
    @thetechguy3993 Před rokem +4

    I'm so happy that there are still man like who is trying to give people meaning to their life .
    Love you man for the work you are doing you have help me a lot 🖤

  • @horaciocapanelli-soto4710

    I needed to hear and to be reminded of all this today.
    It can be very disappointing when something someone did with all their hearts it’s not appreciated.

  • @dannypresson4815
    @dannypresson4815 Před 2 lety +7

    Thank you. I needed to hear this today and into the future. Gratitude checks depression and despair.

  • @RebeccaLynnMusic
    @RebeccaLynnMusic Před rokem +7

    It is such a challenge to practice some of these stoic tenets as a compassionate, empathetic, and sensitive person. I'm very grateful for this channel.

    • @justdev8965
      @justdev8965 Před rokem

      If it's a challenge, then maybe it's high time we realized and accepted that we aren't what we want to be.
      It's supposed to come naturally, not feeling forced.
      We are the most savage animal.

  • @kalpanabalakrishnam5203
    @kalpanabalakrishnam5203 Před 2 lety +2

    Thank you Ryan. I came across your book through audible recommendation! I loved it from the moment I started listening to it. Since then I also started watching your CZcams videos. I feel the changes in me and I like it. I think there was always some elements of stoicism present in me but your books and videos have elevated that. I notice the questions I ask everyday? I started journaling as well. It’s truly life changing- thank you 🙏

  • @pierremonney5351
    @pierremonney5351 Před 2 lety +11

    You're amazing brother! I appreciate the time you put into trying to make a change for the good in the world.

  • @tsb7911
    @tsb7911 Před 2 lety +23

    CZcams recommended this guy to me. He's great! As Bob Dylan would say, "right on target, so direct."
    Guys like Holiday are far better than a therapist. The therapist dwells on YOU. Ironically, that's the trouble in the first place, people think their problems are just them; they're not.
    Books and videos are also cheaper than a therapist. )

  • @ashcam1791
    @ashcam1791 Před 2 lety

    Love your videos Ryan. I've recommended them to so many friends. I hope you continue to share your work on youtube, it's greatly appreciated. It has been especially helpful during these challenging covid times.

  • @nerdfamous5794
    @nerdfamous5794 Před 2 lety

    I always get so amped up and ready to take on the world when I watch your videos! Thanks for the morning pep talks ,and sharing this beautiful information.

  • @etripp111
    @etripp111 Před 2 lety +8

    This is your best video so far. Thank you for all you do; you're making a difference in the world.

  • @rawseed2973
    @rawseed2973 Před 2 lety +3

    Thank you,for posting, Ryan. You are doing a great thing.I love you

  • @Blings12345
    @Blings12345 Před 9 měsíci

    4:40 thank you for the words of wisdom. This is very helpful and I pray we all love and care for each other.

  • @M13asan
    @M13asan Před 2 lety

    Thank you for your books, daily emails and videos Ryan. Truly have changed my life and I even got a picture of Marcus Aurelius and the four virtues of stoicism tattooed on my sleeve!

  • @Galaxyofbrian
    @Galaxyofbrian Před 2 lety +6

    Ry thank you from UK 🇬🇧 for breaking down stoicism into everyday easily understandable practical advice. You are a God send. 🤘💯

  • @grahamscott449
    @grahamscott449 Před 2 lety +19

    I really enjoyed this wonderful post - thoughtful and true - great teaching for everyone, but especially teens and young adults

  • @samfrito
    @samfrito Před 3 měsíci +1

    You remind me of things my mom said to me 50 years ago. Grateful for your wisdom and grateful her wisdom allowed me to make 50 more years.

  • @maplehouseknives
    @maplehouseknives Před rokem +1

    Thanks for this video, man! I had a particularly tough job interview today. I didn't get the job. I came home, and this video was in my feed. I truly appreciate you for making this video, you made the rest of my day worth looking forward to!

  • @seandunn2732
    @seandunn2732 Před 2 lety +31

    Ryan, your videos are so inspiring that they almost bring me to tears. I've become a better person since I discovered your books and your channel . Thank you, you are my mentor from a far.
    Sincerely,
    Sean Dunn

  • @robertonallin6736
    @robertonallin6736 Před 2 lety +4

    Amazing video Ryan! One of yours best videos. Your spontaneous stoics insights promotes kindness. Thank you a lot!!

  • @wallyworld817
    @wallyworld817 Před rokem +1

    Thank you for posting and all the work that this entails. "To thy ownself be true"
    Operating from the position of Love is key in these otherwise confusing and fearful times!!! Be the change, it's catchy!!!

  • @jrromman
    @jrromman Před 9 měsíci +1

    Just want to tell you that I appreciate these videos very much. Learning how much of this I already practice and how much of this I need to begin practicing. Thank you.

  • @ChochiLuko
    @ChochiLuko Před 2 lety +14

    My pet peeve has been people being snoopy or sticking their nose in other people's business.Why do we care so much about what's going on in someone's else life?

    • @pepper1188
      @pepper1188 Před rokem

      Truth, made worse with the stay at home workers, sitting in front of a screen in one's pajamas limits perspective

  • @jennifermaguire7965
    @jennifermaguire7965 Před 2 lety +6

    Love that Ryan is continuing Marcus's good work

    • @TheMrchuck2000
      @TheMrchuck2000 Před rokem +1

      Love that you’re on a first name basis with Marcus Aurelius.

  • @duvessa2003
    @duvessa2003 Před 2 lety

    So glad I discovered this. I never knew about The Stoics. These philosophies seem a clear path toward becoming a better person. Thank you!!!

  • @MichaelNealeYT
    @MichaelNealeYT Před 2 lety +7

    It's a long road but I'm learning to care less about other people's opinions of me and my work

  • @outthewaydre6450
    @outthewaydre6450 Před 2 lety +15

    This man literally give a full lesson on how to deal with people..... wow life is priceless.....great video...

  • @carmelgrace6402
    @carmelgrace6402 Před 2 lety

    I so needed to hear this! I was feeling so crushed and broken just by some persons comment about me … their opinion! Thank you Ryan…xx

  • @reginagatti8367
    @reginagatti8367 Před 2 lety +1

    I really appreciate you taking time to share your wisdom and insights. You are providing a mature perspective to people who desperately need it. Common sense wisdom would be a lost art if not for people like you.

  • @patrickhay2561
    @patrickhay2561 Před 2 lety +8

    This was great, you’re a natural at this video format Ryan!

  • @Protesto2012
    @Protesto2012 Před rokem +5

    Excellent! Love your enthusiasm and passion! I don’t see people as good or bad anymore, I see them as a human being who is like me when unconscious we do stupid things that can be quantified as bad. We must learn to trust, not see the “bad” person but see ourselves in them and forgive and love them as we forgive ourselves and learn to love ourselves in all our human programming. Thank you Ryan! Keep going friend.

    • @zion367
      @zion367 Před rokem +1

      Love and forgive them and let them assault and abuse me some more. Great advise!

  • @katherinegarcia3256
    @katherinegarcia3256 Před rokem

    When I started watching your videos I was grieving the loss of my wife. I found so many things to argue about in what you were saying, funny enough it helped me get through the anger in the grieving process. Now I watch your videos to learn about stoicism. I'm reading alot of book on the subject. So thank you.

  • @EdenP68
    @EdenP68 Před rokem

    Thank you. I appreciated the whole video but the last segment really hit home. I’ve been trying to live my life differently and this has helped me renew my commitment to it. I just found your page. I’m so glad that I did.

  • @carleygrundy771
    @carleygrundy771 Před 2 lety +10

    This was a glorious way to begin my day, thank you 🙏

  • @sunnyreads1845
    @sunnyreads1845 Před 2 lety +7

    You made my day! A good friend sent this to me moments ago without knowing I received a few calls from family and friends expressing despair at what's happening in the world. This arrived just in time, and I will be sharing it with everyone I know who will benefit from these incredible words of encouragement. Much love to you, your loved ones and this audience. Thank you! 💖

  • @ivan40229
    @ivan40229 Před rokem

    Thank you for making and posting this video. I always appreciate a reminder that the things in life that matter most are not things.

  • @KuttersVideos
    @KuttersVideos Před 2 lety +2

    Best video i've seen for a long time, im a manufacturing supervisor and people do suck, but at the same time its my job to educate, and empower my employees not to suck. subscribed.

  • @donnamarsh3474
    @donnamarsh3474 Před 2 lety +3

    This is awesome! Thank you for the words of wisdom and interesting views.

  • @teddymills1
    @teddymills1 Před 2 lety +33

    The Stoics would be happy knowing Ryan is continuing their messages.

    • @sampetrie340
      @sampetrie340 Před 2 lety +2

      Would a Stoic care what other people think of them?

    • @B3rrymon
      @B3rrymon Před 2 lety +1

      @@sampetrie340 You're not wrong but what I believe Jack meant is a teachers pride that their teachings and profound thoughts have been passed to a new generation upholding them. Bless you, Ryan!

    • @sampetrie340
      @sampetrie340 Před 2 lety

      @@B3rrymon and I don’t begrudge them that. Philosophers are human too.

  • @ARTENSASS
    @ARTENSASS Před rokem

    Needed this today. Thank you for sharing🙏

  • @lionnelmonaco9464
    @lionnelmonaco9464 Před rokem

    This is the best pep talk on YT. Thanks!!

  • @rubixlx0
    @rubixlx0 Před 2 lety +155

    “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil”

  • @jimvanallen8987
    @jimvanallen8987 Před 2 lety +3

    This was on point for me today Ryan, thanks.

  • @pattyberryman3037
    @pattyberryman3037 Před rokem +1

    Thank you Daily Stoic for your amazing work.

  • @vualac
    @vualac Před 2 lety +1

    Thanks for uploading. You're the best.

  • @SC-fk9nc
    @SC-fk9nc Před 2 lety +13

    Thx Ryan, this video reminds me of not becoming a grumpy old man which is a challenge sometimes.

  • @jaykay6387
    @jaykay6387 Před 2 lety +13

    Glad these videos found me. I've evolved into being a stoic quite "organically", so it's great to see through these videos that I'm on the right track, so to speak.
    Some of the stoic "precepts" he speaks of are easier than other to follow, however! I really don't struggle with envy, but sometimes it's a bit hard to just dismiss somebody's
    bad behavior and not be "bothered" by it. Humans do have irrational emotions, unlike Mr. Spock, who probably would have done well as a stoic!

  • @omarrodriguez3116
    @omarrodriguez3116 Před 2 lety +2

    I feel this video is really helping me find real positivity coming out of depression..

  • @darrenryan07
    @darrenryan07 Před 2 lety +1

    Hi Ryan , i found you at beginning of Pandemic ,, and you and Stoicism have saved me from myself , Thank you kindly .

  • @timmanansala5346
    @timmanansala5346 Před 2 lety +5

    Thank you! Stoicism for life ❤️

  • @janesmith8050
    @janesmith8050 Před 2 lety +3

    People are also Brave and Generous and Selfless and Compassionate and Thoughtful and Kind and Honest and Committed and Loyal and Protective and more.

  • @AsiraBettas
    @AsiraBettas Před rokem +1

    Thanks, I needed that, I often think I am not worthy, I will stop those thoughts today.

  • @kelly-annmaddox
    @kelly-annmaddox Před 2 lety +1

    This was the first thing I watched this morning and I know I'll have a better day because of it. ❤

  • @SaudMasud
    @SaudMasud Před 2 lety +6

    Great video Ryan. Empathy and self compassion.

  • @AlanHornkohl
    @AlanHornkohl Před 2 lety +5

    Always a great message!

  • @angusmorrison9433
    @angusmorrison9433 Před rokem

    Major beauty. I’m glad I found you. Of course, No. 8 broke my heart bc my husband (Angus) passed away unexpectedly without me having chance to tell him “I love you”. -Kathy 😢💔💕

  • @Trapezius8oblique
    @Trapezius8oblique Před 2 lety +1

    Wow! This is terrific thank you for posting.

  • @Mziselman
    @Mziselman Před 2 lety +4

    MAN, did I need this video! Thank you, Ryan.