A Guide To Enjoying Madame Web - A Future Cult Classic
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- čas přidán 28. 02. 2024
- Madame Web is a cyborg sent from the future! My brilliant theory.
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Madame Web is a future cult classic. It has it all. A story that makes no sense. A terrible script. Wooden acting. Bad special effects. A lead actor who just does not care. An obsession with CPR. It’s the perfect disaster. A prophecy of failure. And a 1000 times more enjoyable when you realize Madame Web is a cyborg from the future!
Join me so I can explain my brilliant theory.
#madameweb #spiderman #moviereview - Zábava
Hey Legends! It’s Madame Web time. Have you watched it? And were you sober at the time? Stay safe and if you enjoyed the video send it to everyone you know. It’s the perfect gift. Cheers!
Sorry, I just can’t bring myself to invest the two hours
"The perfect gift" 😂 oh lord I love you. ❤️
I wasn't even sober watching your review 🤖
@@ciaranrooney6756 wtf is sober?
@@sageoz9886 what if I told you that it will bring you everlasting life?
On 2nd thought that sounds more like a curse.
"I don't think I'm right for this part, I'm only 34."
"Babe, you're a woman in Hollywood, that's practically 64."
Ha! 😅
Someone obviously didn't tell this to the casting director of the Borderlands movie lol
Time to start playing those witch roles. Oh, wait. Madame Web basically is a witch role.
She looks 39….
@@OmenCrimsonI suspect the reason such old actresses were hired, was because the female filmmakers were violently jealous of any "younger, more beautiful queen," the EXACT SAME WAY Cersei Lannister is.
I cried when she said “hasta la vista, Webbie” wow, like….just epic storytelling
😅👍
Would have improved the movie tbh 😂
You can't be serious (before watching)
@@Chives1797I am surely…and don’t call me serious. Wait…..
I loved that bit just before she sacrificed herself, where she said to Morbius, "I know now why you Morb. But it's something I can never do."
It looks like a straight to dvd movie, but it still cost something like $80m to make! Money laundering at its finest
never thought of that as an aspect of Hollywood... good point. Now what income would Hollywood be laundering hmmm
@@liukang85 Probably that brought in off the coast of Little Saint James, if I were to guess.
I've been saying for some time that modern action films look like fronts for money laundering - they have mega million dollar "CGI budgets" & then just look like hastily drawn cartoons.
When Sidney Sweeney said, "we won! we destroyed all the girl bosses."
Then Madame Web points to her own head and says "no. Theres one more"
Heartbreaking
LOL FUCKING LOL
Dakota 800 receives paycheck "I know now why you act, but it is something I can never do!"
This comment deserves way more likes. Brilliant
"Come with me if you want to laugh at inept storytelling and acting!"
😂
Can I bring a friend?
the more the merrier@@kaykutcher2103
"They're not jump-starting her heart, they're pushing the batteries back in." Comedic gold.
"You cannot bargain with her...
You cannot reason with her...
She doesn't feel pity...or pain...or remorse...
and she absolutely WILL NOT Stop.....
Until Sony goes broke
Reading this with epic voice.
@@octaviovaladaoferreirinhad2689 It's the only way
When she asked the other girls "why do you web," I fell out of my seat sobbing. Truly, the most touching moment since Titanic.
"I know now why you web, but it is something I can never do."
Pain causes it?
Seriously 🤣🤣🤣
Dakota Johnson’s acting is at Zendaya levels of wooden plank.
Glad I'm not the only one thinking the same about Zendaya
Dunno, she was the best MJ we had
@@Finngrinder she was the best depressed MJ we had
And yet she was pretty good in the Suspiria remake. Well, even a broken clock I suppose.
@@Finngrinderin what world?
Weirdest Pepsi ad I've ever seen.
So good, it will kill you instantly.
You mean "Pepi."
It was probably Coca Cola with a fake moustache that signed on it.
At least Showgirls was from the director of Robocop and Starship Troopers.
The people who made this wish they could be as talented as that.
You're forgetting Total Recall.
I do remember Total Recall, I just had Troopers on my mind since people talked about Helldivers 2.@@archstanton9073
@@archstanton9073and The Fourth Man and Soldier Of Orange and Black Book
@@YeastextractDutch works for the win.
I've been waiting for good old Robot Head to skewer this heap.
Cheers!
"My CPU is a neural net processor... a learning computer..."
I heard it like: "My GBU(Girl Boss Universe) is a neural net processor... a lecture computer..."
Probably the writing AI wrote Cassie like itself. Cassienator need to soak up knowledge, Cassienator need to learn
Let's smash it THIS time, please
@@tagir9123Not good enough. Throw it to the molten lava. 😂
Neural *web processor
That was a sick opening edit lol
Cheers & Thanks 👍
@@RobotHead AHAAHAHAHA, you know.... this is exactly what the film-makers probably wanted to NOT do... and YET.....
Sony needs to give up on their Spider-Man side character solo films.
They need to pick better ones. Venom was good. Madam web is just too soon.
I think Sony should do a Mr Ditkovich solo film
@@el_chapo_ibn_john_al_drakowski
That is a great idea.
@@el_chapo_ibn_john_al_drakowski ditkovich is a retired kraven.
@@el_chapo_ibn_john_al_drakowski ditkovich is a retired version of kraven the hunter. So it would be interesting seeing his journey from a hunter to landlord.
actually mouth to mouth is less important as you think. THere is enough oxygen in the blood for 3-5 minutes but it need to be pumped so the pumping is really important. In a city or anywhere else that should be enough time until the professionals arrive. I just did my emergency help learning yesterday and that is what the dude told me
Right the important thing is to keep the blood circulating until the defibrillator arrives.
I've just had a quick look on the Internet about this. Basically it's now possible that compressions are more effective than mouth to mouth so non-trained civilians are told to do that and to not worry so much about the mouth to mouth part.
But having said that the mouth to mouth part can still be effective in getting oxygen into the lungs and bloodstream so it's not a complete waste of time (but it can be time wasted not doing the compressions as bloodflow is so important, yadda yadda yadda....).
That's all kinda academic though since the film is set in 2003 when the new guidelines wouldn't have existed yet. Or maybe Madame Web had a vision about them and shared them with her colleagues. Or she's a cyborg from the future who already knew about them? The possibilities are endful....
Regardless of all that:
1. She's still doing the compressions wrong.
2. She didn't tilt the head to make sure the oxygen flow is clear.
3. Non-trained civilians don't need to do mouth-to-mouth, but she's a trained professional, so should be doing it.
4. The movie takes place in 2003, as another commenter said, so mouth-to-mouth would still be expected even of civilians.
Yeah I have three generations of doctors/ nurses/combat medics in the family and I’ve always been told it’s easier, safer and sometimes more effective to forgo mouth-to-mouth. Apparently the main reason is to minimise the risk of exposure to infectious diseases transferring during CPR, but the other reasons listed here is equally valid.
But… in defense to Robot Head… the breaths were still part of CPR training in 2003.
I love when Madam Web turned around to the kids she left in the woods and said: "I'll be back."
I love when she saw the future of the race-swapped reboot and said: "I'll be black"
@@NotQuiteFirstor when she transformed into methamphetamines and said “I’ll be crack”
To be completely fair to Cassie the Cyborg, and as an American, that is not how you grill burgers. Fat _is_ flavor. But either way, her flawed programming still shows through because you would never _say_ that to the man grilling. BBQ etiquette is a thing after all.
Wouldn’t the guy with the grill hobby know that? It’s like burger 101
2003 was so they could use “Toxic” 😂😂😂
A song which takes a simple Google search to discover came out in 2004.
Who could’ve guessed an all female Spider-Man movie full of Calvin Klein and Pepsi ads would be terrible 🙄
I actually had no idea madame web was a thing until a couple days ago💀💀
You and the lead actress, apparently.
Ezekiel jumping to get hit by the ambulance sums up his self-sabotage. Same can be said about the showrunners lol
It really appears if he just stood there, it would have went over his head.
@@LordHollowa case of spider-non-sense
The mouth to mouth part of CPR was suggested to be less important than the compressions rather recently, not that you shouldn't do them. The idea is that breathing is less important than if nothing is moving the oxygen, further cementing the idea that Madame Web is indeed a terminator from the future as she would be programmed with future CPR techniques.
I like it! 😅👍
Recently? Maybe if your existence is based off online trends 😂
It’s been common knowledge for anyone attending any formal CPR training that the compressions take priority if mouth to mouth is unavailable/ undesirable. It’s ALWAYS been that way.
Only thing that happened recently is that someone found content to milk by announcing that detail as breaking news TBH
@@CoercedJab Well, yeah--if one step of a two step process is unavailable, the best you can do is the other step. You don't even need training to learn that, it's basic logic. However, not doing mouth-to-mouth at all, ever, is just hilariously stupid.
"Industrial grade fireworks" LOL
Yes. All those fireworks they use in the factories and construction industry, to blow up walls. Truly, a masterpiece script.
They should have said "professional grade" and had a bunch of GMC trucks in the scene.
A well adjusted person would have quietly skipped the mom story game by taking a powder or dropping a deuce. But a narcissist would make the scene about herself.
There’s always the socially awkward person who doesn’t know what to do…
Madame Web may not be a masterpiece, but this review sure as hell is. I'll never watch Madame Web, but thanks to RH I can still enjoy it!
Madam Web: "My GBU (Girl Boss Universe) is a neural net computer... a lecture machine..."
I seriously cannot believe that they covered up Sydney Sweeney the entire time. A truly tragic loss for humanity as a whole.
The filmmakers were gifted with one of the hottest young stars in the business today, & completely squandered that gift.
We should thank the people responsible for Madame Web and The Marvels.
They took down the crappy girl-boss era, maybe if we are lucky it slowed to a grinding halt, but I am not getting my hopes up yet.
THAT WAS MY THEORY!! That this was an intention nail in the Disney-MCU tire!
Movies spend years in pre production. Even if this was the last of the girl boss movies, there are still others in the pipeline. It's rare for a studio to cancel a film after they have invested whatever amount on it.
@@justinm2697
Last I recall was Batwoman from WB.
They're definitely scrambling, but I don't think it's over yet. Disney still plans to release Agatha & I suppose Ironheart as well. Though that finished shooting a year or more ago & still hasn't been released.
Watch the new episode of the Walking Dead. The once mighty hero Rick Grimes stupidly chopped off his hand in order to get back to his Black girlfriend. It's all downhill from the once beloved franchise. No more strong male characters anymore, just Woke storylines with strong girl bosses from now on. Even the zombie apocalypse is not immune to the DEI crap 🤣🤣🤣
Where have you been my friend? We’ve missed you.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👋
I've missed you guys too 👍
@@RobotHead you know what.... you missed something crucial, a MAJOR plot point that re-contextualizes the entire movie.... Ezekiel Sims isn't evil in the comics. And as you point out... Webb seems to be the villain of this story...
@@marhawkman303Bu-but he killed her mother while she was researching spiders in the Amazon.
@@kaykutcher2103 yeah, but... does that excuse Web's crimes?
Thank you, Robot Head, for coming up with an interpretation that makes this turkey entertaining. Only someone who was part-cyborg themselves could have done so. Felicitations, O Antipodean Andro-bot!
I believe the budget was actually over $100 million, which is further proof that Hollywood is a giant money-laundering op.
Cheers Man 👍
The robot vision focusing on stretcher guy had me in tears 😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭
Uncle Ben's hair is the most believable part of this film.
Madame Terminator is definitely something present-day James Cameron would make.
we already had madame terminator, remember?
@@Napoleonic_S But that shoehorned sequel to another sequel was 1000 times better than this garbage.
T3 Rise of the Machines.
i got cpr certified a while back, and im pretty sure the important bit is actually the compressions, not the breath. as long as you get and keep the heart beating you have a chance to save the patient. you should still do 2 breaths every 30 pumps, but in cases where you cant its more important to just keep doing compressions.
He's correct. The pumping adds oxygen to the blood. Maybe try reading a book instead of being an arrogant fool 😂@@andrewblundall5475
This is correct. Mouth to mouth is now optional as chest compressions also compress the lungs.
@@andrewblundall5475 I'm hoping you are being sarcastic. @Theos is absolutely correct. Medical professional here... it used to be ABC: airway, breaths, compressions. Now it is CAB: compressions, airway, breaths. Moving blood is MUCH more difficult (and therefore more important) than moving air. Compressions actually WILL move enough air through the compressed (and released) lungs to get O2 into the blood (and just as importantly get CO2 OUT). You can pump all the oxygen into the lungs you want... if it can't get to the brain, WTF does it matter?
Agree. I do annual training for work. This past year they removed mouth to mouth and only do chest compressions.
Thank you, robot medic from the future.
I think it was written by AI- which is why it ripped off other films in weird ways.
Years ago on a construction site a worker literally dropped dead of a heart attack in front of me, me and a couple of other trained first aiders administered CPR until the ambulance got there and put him on a defibrillator. It seemed to go on forever but he actually bloody well lived. We brought him back! The guy had the worst teeth you’ve ever seen, brownish yellow rotting stumps. As the ambulance drove away and we stood there gasping for breath and eyeballing each other I reached into my pocket and passed a packet of tic-tacs to the guy who’d done mouth to mouth on him and said “here you go mate, you need these more than I do, there was no effing way I was putting my mouth there!” And we all cracked up laughing.
I’d rather go through that traumatic experience again than ever watch this movie lol
The funniest part is, somebody watched this, and decided to release it.
17:27 the ambulance wouldnt have been hit (or it would have taken the collision in the rear part) if she didnt try to stop her boss
turning this movie into a terminator parody is the best idea ever xD
Cheers 👍
You mean it wasn't??
My life wasn’t complete until I found your channel.
I'm happy to make you happy 👍
Okay, Consoomer
Thanks Robothead 😊
You actually made me want to watch this now 😂
Tommy Wiseau should have introduced and narrated the trailer. No offence to Tommy though, I'm sure he could have made a better movie.
At midnight screenings of The Room audience members throw spoons at the screen. Maybe this movie can become a cult movie too if people can spray silly string and Pepsi at the screen
This movie was amazing and the characters were all unique and special in their own amazing way. The plot is genius and grabs the viewers attention within the first 5 minutes. The characters actions are understandable and justifiable from what we know about each of them. The action is paced well and the main character discovering they have powers is interesting to see. Would watch again as I have hundreds of times already. If you’ve come to the end of my review for Star Wars A New Hope then thanks for reading :)
17:20 - By delaying her boss with the warning, she put his vehicle in the path of the other one, ensuring his death. Had she not intervened the collision never would have occurred.
You stole that from Pitch Meeting, but no. His ambulance would've run out of gas on the road or he would've stopped to take a phone call mid road or something. Also, he was drinking alcohol at the barbecue like an hour before. Don't give the script that much credit by thinking Mike Epps would've lived.
@@MarvinPowell1 Nope.
@@steveouk90126 Well, it *was* in Pitch meeting lol, but yeah its really easy to put that together. The fact that a movie costing $80 million didn't clue into that is just poor writing/directing.
@@MarvinPowell1 You're the one inventing things to try and save the script. From what actually happens, it seems clear he could not have been hit by that car if he had driven off 30 seconds earlier, so she did in fact delay him just long enough for it to happen.
My friend and couldn't stop laughing out at the Pepsi product placement! The baby shower scene was essentially a commercial
I like D. Jonson approach to marketing of this film.
One of the producers said they set it in 2003 so they could use a song. I forget which one. I rang to say toxic?!?
Cassie: "Come with me if you want to web."
Julia: "That guy tried to kill us! How did he even find us at this diner?"
Cassie: "He used the World Wide... Information Super-highway."
Julia: "That guy... Is some kind of spider... Person!"
Cassie: "Yeah, you can he's a pretty _toxic_ male!"
Anya: "The Daily Bugle is a thing, too! Great power! Friendly neighborhood car thief! And more references!"
This is what Nolan meant in Tenet. "Don't try to understand it, feel it."
Bruce lee said it years ago
Her talking to her boss delayed him enough to get hit. Murderer!
What are the odds that I just happen to be wearing a terminator T-shirt when I clicked on this video? Great content as always Mr. Head!
You know it’s a good day when robot head drops another banger vid. Cheers🥂
I've heard it's Arnold with makeup. Congrats to the make up team.
What industry are 'industrial grade fireworks' used in? I guess it's the film industry.
This narrative was a massive improvement over the actual movie, thank you 😆 Loved the intro edits especially
Cheers!
For anyone thinking that current CPR training does not include mouty to mouty, youre correct, but it did imclude it in 2003 when the film is set.
Mouth-to-mouth ventilation does not improve CPR -1992 to August 1998.
This movie feels like it was directed and run by a kid from the Make A Wish Foundation.
Well, id say its pretty good if it was directed by a 10 year old. 10 year old me thought actors really died when they died in movies. 😆
I have a theory, I believe Madam web was supposed to be a goofy comedy. I believe it was originally written to be a comedy and originally shot to be a comedy. Then they changed their minds and did some re-shoots to change the tone.
Basically the reverse of what was done with the original Suicide Squad.
Sony should make RobotHead a thank you card.
Good evening! Glad to see yet another review
"Well-fed women" 😂😂😂
You are so amazing and I love your accent. I look forward to anything new you put out. you are so funny
Cheers and thanks 👍
Your analysis of this movie, like the many other ones you have made about other movies, is absolutely perfect
Robot Head, you're wrong about CPR. For many years it has been taught without breathe supplementation. It is universally taught as JUST chest compressions...
HOWEVER, in 2003 it would've still been taught with mouth to mouth. Once again the writers being so smart to keep it real like it's 2003
Brilliant! I would never have connected James Cameron’s classic with this plot, but u totally right!!
Your robot theory is beautiful and hilarious.
Like a good robot, Madame Webb is there. 😂
In Schwarzenegger voice:"LIKE EIGH GHOOD ROHBAHT MAHDAHME WHEEB IS THEAAH!" 🤣
The can of Pepsi in the thumbnail. Two different scenes early where she has a can of soda. She fondles that soda can throughout the scene. I can't decide if it was intentional direction, or the actress was too fragile to pop the top. I am absolutely obsessed with this lmfao.
At the end, with a takeout dinner with the technical orphans, there is a set of open soda bottles. This shows incredible character growth as Madam Web accepts the fact that she will never successfully open an aluminum can, but now has Spider Girl Bosses that can supply open glass bottles.
Your Terminator analogy is gold!! I will watch this movie with your reference.
I saw someone say Sydney Sweeney should play Power girl in DC movies and that would be perfect.
Finally, the Terminator reboot we've been waiting for all these years.
What a good thumbnail. She looks incredible
By Jove, I think you're on to something here ... brilliant!!!
Thankfully the AI has spared me the deluge of ads for this flick.
Holden: “Tell me only the good things about your mother.”
Leon: “Let me tell you about my mother.”
She’s a Replicant.
Why would he even go after them as a group? It can't be that difficult to kill three unsuspecting, unrelated women separately when you have the powers of Spider-Man.
Robot Head, you are on a different level. Another great video. Thank you.
Neighbah
The ending, with the credits rolling and a music playing, is fine.
0:30 - I love the fact that the villain inexplicably jumped up INTO the ambulance when it would've missed him if he'd simply stood still. 🤣
Also, whoever came up with the idea of dressing up Sydney Sweeney like a frump and sticking her in the background of a movie should never be allowed to work in cinema again.
As a brother to a very good editor, that's sharp work yet again, mate. Well done.
o7
you put more thought into this film than the creators themselves
Cheers, Robot Head. Finally a review of Madame Web that isn't just another expose of blaring gaffes and embarrassing film making. The Terminator take not only makes sense but it also gives the film actual validation for existing in this time line. Well caught. Signed: John Conner.
Bro this is actually brilliant!
Well, at least you mentioned 12 Monkeys 😆 Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt were brilliant in that movie; it was so good! 😄
If a super-spider's bite gives you superpowers, how do super-spiders manage to get anything to eat? A bug gets caught in the super-spider's web, the super-spider bites it, and then the bug becomes strong enough to break free. Are there a bunch of superpowered flies in the Amazon? Can we research _them_ right before we die?
I have seen 100 of these reviews. Yours was the best I have come across
Cheers and thanks 👍
We got drunk and watched Aquaman 2 last night and it was hilarious…can’t wait to do the same with this gem
This video taught me there is an acceptable cam with dodgy audio out there. Thanks!
Excelsior!
...what an awesome vid.
Best movie review ever! You nailed it, RobotHead!
Cheers & Thanks! 👍
Dude.... 12 monkeys was such a good flick! It deserves more love.
@2:31 She drives the ambulance over him....he jumps up so he can get hit by it. WHY!?!? Because DERPY DERP DEE DERP! 🤪
Great job, Robot Head😂💪😁!
This is absolutely brilliant. Your idea is like the Dude’s rug, it ties everything together.
Never clicked a YT notification so fast. 😂
The “have you seen this boy?” joke is lowkey brilliant
I would not be surprised if Cyborg-Lady drove the stolen taxi to JFK airport and parked it in the long term parking garage.