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I Am a Survivor of Bullying | Unpacked with Relebogile Mabotja - Episode 87 | Season 3
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- čas přidán 14. 08. 2024
- A guest shares her experience with bullying
Studio Guests: Martha Thsehla
#UnpackedWithRelebogile
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Most people admit to being bullied but no one admits to being a bully.
is because they believe they are within their rights.
To everyone that does not understand; can I ask you to do an exercise for me. Find a cup in your cupboard that you do not mind losing. Scratch it with a nail every single morning for one month. At the end of the month look at it. How will that cup look? Now imagine that cup being a persons spirit, being vandalised every day for years... When people say things like: be strong, kids are mean, you should grow a tough skin... It is insensitive because most victims of bullying are severely scarred. And just like you would find it extremely difficult to repair your cup, it is extremely difficult to heal wounds from many years of bullying.
Good analogy 💫💫
Well put Thuli
Wow 😒
I could not have put it any better
Delivery is important. That is deep. No matter how true your message is, if it's carelessly delivered, it harms more than helps.
I have a 5 year old son who was bullied by girls in his morning transport to school, what hurt me the most is that he was bullied right in front of an adult (transport malume), he started not wanting to wear his winter hats and when I asked the transport guy he said "how do you even say this is bullying because these are girls and this one is a boy" 🥺🥺 I was so angry I had to take him to school every morning and fetch him after school... I am so sorry my dear for your experience, you are so beautiful ♥️
Dont even trust those malumes,they even laugh when our kids are being bullied
@@Mabobo333 🥺🥺🥺 it is so sad... I don't even understand why an adult will allow bullying to happen right in front of them...
I didn't know stupid people still existed like that transport guy you're talking about, he's stupid isthuphethu leso.
This reminds me of schools where I have taught where bullying was on its prime between the grades 3-8. There is a lot of nasty comments that kids pass especially when they have something in them that seeks attention. Kids generally in our days come from families with pieces of puzzle that are missing in the circle of their upbringing and as a result they clash with other kid's characters and someone will be hurt or hurting others in the process.
This interview on its own should serve as an eye opener to parents also as an awareness that there is a lot that happens in children's lives the minute they are left at the school drop-off zone. As much as there are teachers in schools and other security measures the school may put in place, you will always find dark corners in the school. (Bathrooms, little groups behind casses, undet the tree etc)
I personally would advise parents to have common / daily conversations with their children, regardless of the age group . Fire burns better with lots of wood. Lots of children with clashing behaviours and corrupt characters, can easily spoil the good ones.
A trip from school back home can cover all that kind of a day dissection questions. What made them angry, happy, sad etc and why??? Emotions are always driven by a cause. Hence it is important to know why were you happy, sad, angry etc.
To team...thanks again for makin us aware that such still lives in our community.
I’ve always been bullied for being skinny in high school. I’ve always been small, I’ve accepted and learnt to live with it. I love myself the way I am❤️❤️❤️
Me too, I was bullied for being skinny. I am still small at 39 I weigh 59kg. I will never be big.
Since primary to high school, I was a social outcast. I was bullied for literally everything for my looks and acting "white" or not acting black enough. Boys and Girls were always hostile towards me. In grade 9, there was a girl that turned the whole class agaisnt to gangbully me. I was attacked verbally and sometimes physically. And always tried to publicly humiliate me, my friends never really had my back when this attack was happening. This bully told me to go hang myself. My friend was friends with the bully. It's one of the most painful experience ever.
I was bullied too, for being bigger and taller than everyone else.. I was called big mama. I still avoid people till today,and I find it difficult to maintain friendships and I always feel picked on. I have never seen my bullies again.. And I can't believe how much it has affected my entire life
Sorry to hear that. Accept and love yourself.
It's a process I will attend therapy.. Hopefully that will help.
I hope so too, I'm really sorry. No one should make you feel bad about how you look. It's wrong.
It is a process you will heal with time...
Sending you lots of hugs
I was bullied by everyone including friends, when we were playing in the streets, at school (primary and high school) , including my parents. My parents friends would come home and ask my mom and dad why do I look like this, my parents would not defend me instead laugh as well and tell me to loose weight. My mom told me I am beautiful and gave me pagans steak she passed away 5 months later now I know they didn't know better. While we do let's teach our children better.
This had me in my feels, She just described my situation.
*huggy*
Parents should also teach their children about not to participate in bullying 😔 😤 😒
To our guest, you're beautiful and unique ❤ 💕 💖 enjoy and live your life to the fullest ❤.
To the bullies Shame on you.
The way this girl is so beautiful😍😍, i hope she realise how beautiful she is
Big up to you girl, you are strong, beautiful and worthy
I was bullied by my brother, cousin brother and our helper for being too quiet and not too active as a child. When I was in grade five I started having my periods, unfortunately my neighbour who is the same age as me and we used the same transport found out about my periods, she told everyone in our school transport then everyone started bullying me for that... For high school I moved to Mp, kwamhlanga, was sent to a boarding school in Limpopo,i got bullied for being Xhosa.
And I hate this bullying. I dont get this thing of you should be talkative....
Because of bullying I am a 29 year old who suffers from imposter syndrome and body dismorphia
sorry sis...ditlamoragi tsa teng. its a journey😘. sending you hugs.
Am very sorry dear, hope you will get professional help
@@ebonytriumph3816 thank you so much, I really appreciate it 🥺
@@boledielizabethmaake8369 I will try to do something about it,this year😞
@@nehemiamokgaliphe6383 Will pray for your healing so that it does not affect your marriage and kids in the future.
This is very sad and hope she will continue to be strong and taking care of herself, Praying that God will strengthen her
You are such a gorgeous girl... beautiful body I cannot even see what she is talking about...I'm sorry you had to go through all this trauma..they are just mean spirited people
You are so beautiful ❤️ I hope you find healing
This was so triggering, people really don’t understand the deep effects of bullying, your bullies can happily move on with their lives and probably won’t even remember you or what they did to you , but you as the victim are left with so many scars, painful memories, depression, lack of self-confidence ect. There are times when I even cry when I remember just how much I was put through at the hands of bullies, I missed out on my childhood, whilst other kids where excited to go to school see their friends and learn , I would be terrified of the tormenting I knew I would recieve. Yoh it’s heavy. Hopefully I can heal from it one day, but the scars are deep. It’s even worse when “home” also wasn’t a safe haven and you receive abuse there too from caregivers. It’s so so heavy.
so sorry u had to go thru all that darlin...i was bullied from primary for my being tall and thin, for havin lil hair on my long fingers, they said if i hav hair on my fingers it meant i had pubic hair already, that time m not even on puberty stage yet, thy'd call me ostrich, girrafe, tall manyekenyeke, motsetserepa etc thru to my high skul, i finished skul and relocated to the city, now everyone sees me beauty when i visit home,....sick world
You make so proud. Keep healing. Sending you so much love and light.💞💞💞
how I wish we went to school together I'm sorry..I hope you will heal and activate your self esteem so that you will have thick skin in varsity
Oh dear... I see you and hear you💜 you could not pay me enough to go back to school. Having walked this path, the teachers being part of the problem the whole nightmare. God is good and it gets better🤗
You are gorgeous sis😍love and light to you 🤗
People are shameless !! Sorry you had to go thru this!
It hits different when you relate 😪
You are beautiful 😍 .I just got diagnosed of thyroid issues , it only made sense to me why I was struggling to lose weight .
Its so said i experienced 90 percent of this. And it does cause emotional damage and it damages your self confidence.
I was bullied in Primary School in my transport, to think the girl was in a lower grade than me but she made me loose my self esteem, She used to make fun of me and ridicule me everyday and whenever she was absent yho id be sooooo happy.
I relate so much my own twin brother would tease me and bully me, I was a big child as well and I still battle with my weight, but I'm doing something about it now.
At 12:01 I can relate about the lunch box and my classmates and other students would continuously make fun of me because I came with packed lunch every day and lunchtime became the time I dreaded so I would eat alone every day at lunch to avoid being made fun of and bullied and even up to now as an adult I struggle to eat in public. I was also bullied throughout primary and high school and was always given a hard time at home by my parents just for being a quiet person and the other students would just call me names on a daily basis and I've never provoked anyone and the teachers thought I was stupid and it has negatively affected my self-esteem and confidence but I'm working on improving myself but its been difficult
She still gets emotional when she talks about her experience of being bullied.
I really hope she finds peace and the weight is lifted off her shoulders. Bullies are horrible people honestly.
She is so strong I hope she knows that
Yho and she is so beautiful 🥺❤️
So sorry you had to go through this mama❤️
Martha is so beautiful! ❤❤
I'm also from phalaborwa 🥺❤️this was really sad😭❤️. Bullying stays with you forever 💔😓i wonder if bullies know that they're causing people childhood trauma's
I'm sorry dear I was also being bullied about my body since from primary in high school I got thin because of a distance then I was being bullied by the way I use to dressed because at home we were poor. Now that I am working I gained back my weight. I don't allow bulling I stand up for myself.
bullies they never stop ,even when they grown up.at working places they carry on bullying pple ,until someone put a stop to it.
I love this lady…❤️👌🏼
I have been to a physchatric hospital and I know exactly what she is talking about. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰
Bulies are everywhere. No one talks about family bullying
You are so beautiful baby girl!
This is not victim blaming but kids are mean, everywhere. If you are overweight, dark, poor or not smart,you are a target.
I was thin, got picked on for that.
I was called puffer fish because of my lips.
A really tall girl tried to fight me, I refused, I didn't want to be ghetto. The only way to counteract this is by building a strong character and confidence, affirmations every morning that kind of thing.
The poor girl had thyroid problems, shame.
I mean that it isn't a matter of your socioeconomic group nor your ethnic background.
In the beginning she mentioned public school and private school, even in affluent communities you find bullies, in the States there are kids who are mean. They just tease each other about different things. It's really dumb to tease someone because they packed lunch.
So what? Tolerate being abused emotionally because your" building character"? How about people teach themselves to not be assholes and learn how to treat other people decently. People are killing themselves out there due to being bullied everyday. What's even worse, is that we don't even know what these people that are being bullied are going thru in their private lives. Then they have to come to school and deal with constant abuse from broken children who are on a mission to break other children. NOOOOOO!! No one should be dealing with that type of shit!!
You misunderstood, at no point did I say that bullying builds character. 😂🤣🤔😅I said that parents should help their kids become strong at home, because the world will label you, whether fat or thin, rich or poor.
@@jaiyaalexandra144 people parents should teach their kids to be kind and not being mean to one another.
Kids are very mean. Sometimes it is best to teach out kids to be confident in their own skin, because they will never have control of the outside world. Askies gal
I'm sorry she had to go through this 😔
I sometimes wonder what goes on in a child's as young as grade 1's mind for them to be ruthless is something that some parents instill in their children by saying negative things about other people in front of their children?.
I wanted help and my sister told me that I have to deal with my problems and stop being childish
When I got to varsity I saved up some money and I went to therapy for 3 months, now I am not going because of financial issues and now my depression is coming back in waves
I actively avoid my sister now
I feel like killing myself would be a relief from my problems
I struggle with my weight
I've been exercising for a year eventhough there's I don't want to acknowledge because it's not enough to make people stop judging for my weight
Am dark skinned & I still get bullied until today
Even me too 😩😩
Some children can be really mean
I didn't know i was bullied in primary till i watch to this video. Grade 4 by my teacher, kids... Grade 5 was the worst year for me. Primary kids are the worst mxm
So sorry to hear that. Wish you healing.
Kids can be very cruel shame mina l hate my primary years,and there's a teacher that l hate who bullied me to an extent that even today l don't want to see her,at times l felt she was suppose to be a parent but she was my worse nightmare
I hope u did go back to tell her shit
Kids are definitely mean. I think its mainly due to ignorance. At a school going age, kids dont realise the consequences of their bullying. It's deeper than making a quick "joke"... people carry the trauma through their lives into adulthood. Let's teach our kids to be better and do better ❤. Let's teach kindness.
Love and light to you sis... you look gorgeous!!❤❤
Location,sila
Yes!📍
I was also bullied at school for being ugly and they said i looked like a giraffe
How is it that people remember their lifes in grade 1 and i can hardly remember what was happening with me at that age 😲 i can only remember pieces from grade 4
Trauma does that, if you faced trauma even at 2 years old you will remember it, it gets embedded in your memory.
I can only remember the bullying 🤞🏽🤞🏽 some of the good things i get reminded by good people
She's still hurting about this you can hear it from her voice.
I’m inlove with this woman,she’s beautiful 😍 that’s my future wife watch..
Rhaaa!Basile laboTeachers sies