I Hate John Grammaticus | Warhammer 40k Lore
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- čas přidán 5. 07. 2024
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My Meme Channel: / @chronotheharlequin
00:00 - Intro
01:15 - John Grammaticus
03:26 - The Horus Heresy
24:51 - The Siege of Terra
41:18 - Closing Thoughts
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If John Grammaticus has a million haters, then I am one of them. If John Grammaticus has ten haters, then I am one of them. If John Grammaticus has only one hater then that is me. If John Grammaticus has no haters, then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is for John Grammaticus, then I am against the world.
Oh cool, the Warhammer meme guy.
I fucking hate John Grammaticus. I can't state this enough, he feels like neutered Lucius The Eternal.
Amen
I just watched your video and had to learn why John was such an ass
I thought he was a joke character
John Grammaticus canonically deals more damage to Horus than Sanguinius does.
I hadn't realized that and now I'm fuming
Thanks, Dan.
@@livefromtheblacklibrarydoes this Vol 3 sucks worse than a 100-year-old vacuum?
I hate this😂
Should've put john on the fucking cover.
Aeldari; literally murder rapes a new chaos God into existence
The Cabal; hmmm humanity is the problem.
As much as I hate the Cabal, to be fair Humanity are the main ones feeding the gods by that point in time. The Cabal is stupid but, they weren't wrong that Humanity was the main power source for Chaos at that time.
I mean, I don't blame them, we got John grandma test
@@lordexohunter558they LITERALLY created him.
The good thing about the eldar birthing slaanesh is that this action also got rid of the eldar. The ones that remain are the ones that don't vibe with chaos endorsement, and the drukhari. But those seem like one of those problems that will ecentually solve itself, in the grand scheme of the galaxy.
Hahahahhaha.
This is the equivalent of a dwarf making a 26-hour video of why he hates elves. I'm still gonna watch it though
Except I'M the elf LMAO
@@livefromtheblacklibrary Give him one round of Leaf Lover's Special
A book like that wouldn't end for a Dwarf.
Never forget the War of the Beard.
Never forgive the Elves.
But will agree, John Dramatapuss sucks.
@@livefromtheblacklibrary Stop this charade. Now. Change the channel's name to 'Live from Mendregard' and get a proper Iron Warrior avatar
John Grammaticus is the kind of guy to go “oh jeepers” when slipping on a puddle
John Grammaticus is the kind of guy to go "jeez louise" when something catches him by surprise
😂
Not British enough. He would say "oh my"
@@murphy7801alright john grammaticus is the type of guy to stumble into something strange and put his hands on his hips and say "what's all this then?"
@@murphy7801He's not british.
'John Grammaticus' sounds like a name you give to a trope character to MacGuffin around
Which is what he does, and could also describe 75% of warhammer characters
Indeed, for that's what he is
Actual news reader on BBC4 Radio
John Macguffin
Fun fact, originally this was Chrono's review of The End and the Death Part 3 but he noticed the script was just "All John Grammaticus and no logic makes Chrono an angry boy" over and over so we got this video instead.
Yep, this unironically is what happened
@@livefromtheblacklibrary what a legend
(sees title) (looks at runtime) Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about
I've accepted my role as a massive hater and I'm LIVING
John Grammaticus busts down the door on the vengeful spirit to see Horus and a bunch of demons have strung up Sanguinius’s corpse
John: “Wow talk about a hang over! I bet he’s gonna feel that in the morning!”
And during the duel between Big E and Horus.
"Talk about thanksgiving arguments."
An Eversor Assassin is standing behind John Grammaticus, ready to tear him limb from limb
“He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
A psyker unleashes their power, destroying an entire squad of imperial soldiers in one stroke, leaving only Grammaticus alive
"Well, that just happened"
IN THIS HOUSEHOLD WE HATE JOHN GRAMMATICUS
IN THIS HOUSE, IN THIS BLACK, IN THIS TOWN, IN THIS COUNTRY, ACROSS THE WORLD
All my homies hate Johnny G
*Heavy breathing and fork hitting plates noises* He may be a hero out dere, but in dish housh John Grammaticus ish a fanouk!
Your house is in a bad neighborhood so no one cares
"Like, zoinks Oll, that Horus guy sure is scary"
Oh God, I won't not be able to see JG as shaggy now
I fucking love Johnny Linguisticus
And his brother, Joe Spellingus
And their nerd sidekick, Jonathan Syntaxicus
Don't forget Jessie Rhetoricus and Jeremy Semanticus and Joshua Etymoligus
Nathan lexicon and Trevor words
I love this thread
Sly Marbo looks at John Grammaticus, and felt pitty for him. For he isn't Sly Marbo
Sly feels that way for all others.
@@jasonroberts4470 but for the sake of the joke, it goes double for him
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" Sly Marbo's opinion on this issue
@@breadstick4458 pure poetry.
“If I weren’t John Grammaticus, I’d like to be Sly Marbro”
-John Grammaticus
“If I weren’t Sly Marbro, I’d also like to be Sly Marbro”
-Sly Marbro
John Grammaticus drinks from the milk bottle and makes sure there isn't enough for breakfast the next morning.
Sanguinius' frosted nips...
That's awful!
Then puts the empty milk carton back in the fridge.
John Grimaticus is the Jar Jar Binks of 40k
At least he jar kar make laugh and not cry out of frustration.
No that's Samus, John is the young Anakin Skywalker
@@livefromtheblacklibrary i will not tolerate this, Samus is one of my favourite characters, he's also more like an Ewok. They're both just some silly guys doing silly shenanigins in the middle of a galactic conflict!
@@crockles8754 Samus is silly for you when the poor victim he's using for his jumpscare is not your friend or your loved ones.
@@livefromtheblacklibrary Midichlorians
John Grammaticus is the type of guy to turn into an accordion after getting hit on the head with a mallet.
The worst thing he has ever said in my opinion was: “I do not care about the Godfather” and “it insists upon itself “ like what does that even mean?
Of course it insists upon itself, it has a point to make!
“Something most think is profound but in reality is pretentious and ostentatious.”
Takes two seconds to Google something bro.
Made me laugh my ass off, thanks
I'd like John if he was in a DIFFERENT scifi
YEAH LOL, like if he was in anything else he'd be FINE
@livefromtheblacklibrary he sounds like a Mary Sue OC I can't see him fitting into anything with this amount of the writers sucking off they're pet character
He’d be pretty good in Halo or Star Wars. But in 40k he’s so out of his element
how why I dont see it
@@TheUncivilizedNation Can't see Halo.
Let’s not forget he was against the Emperor in the Emperor’s presence and we’re supposed to believe he didn’t get his ass smote for that instantly.
Erebus is the character folks love to hate, Grammaticus is the character that just deserves hate
Adding something about why these two characters who have the same kind of plot armour are received so differently.
Erebus is handwringing and Grammaticus is hand waving.
YEP LMAO, you put it perfectly
“I-It’s not like I like you or anything, John… BAKA!” -Crono
JG in the book Legion was a damn good/promising character - thanks for acknowledging that!
YEAH! Honestly it just makes everything WORSE
Truck-kun, truly the darkest of the chaos gods' champions, be'lakor couldn't begin to compete
My favourite part about End and the Death Vol III is John’s fate
Dude has to spend all of forever going through the locations of the heresy to make sure the future happens, which we know he does because the future present and past all occur. Meaning John did/is doing/and will do that forever.
Obliviously The Author did not go on 200 page long adventure with JOHN FREAKIN GRAMMATICUS
Kind of ironic that Oll dies the EXACT WAY you want John to doe lol
“You’re telling me you were just making this all up Ol! You never had a plan!?” John to Ol Pearson
Yeah, this is Dan making a confession right here on the whole series.
What annoyed me most there was that I'll never said he had a plan, in fact the whole harping on taking it on faith thing was irritatingly in your face throughout. Totally ignores everything.
LETS GOOOO, WE HATE GRAMATICUS IN THIS HOUSE
GET HIS ASS
All my homies hate gramaticus
I thought I hated John Grammaticus more than anyone. Then I listened to your rant.
You Hate John Grammaticus more than I do.
Kudos.
John Grammaticus should have been whacked by Erebus.
No. John Grammaticus should have killed Erebus and stole his identity, it’s like poetry, it rhymes.
Erebus only kills important characters.
@@InquisitorThomasholy shit that made me laugh my ass off, gj my dude
He shouldn't have existed at all, like the cabal or other perpetuals
I'm genuinely convinced the normal human perpetuals in the Heresy were more pointless than The Furios Abyss
Battle for the abyss was such a bad book. Felt so pointless. I regretted getting that book
@@PinkyDink7at least it wasn't about perpetuals
@@Brandelwyn well true, they are pretty bland and boring. Sad how he went from an ok character to honestly the worst. Just badly wrote, all of them
God, Chrono is such a Tsundere.
SO HELP ME GOD
@@livefromtheblacklibraryyou mean So Help Me God Emperor?
I have a feeling I’ll understand this once I finish the video
@@khuri9030 "So help me Cegorach", if anything. Or Asuryan. I *presume* the Harlequins still hold faith and respect for the rest of the pantheon despite serving Cegorach specifically. But they're also all dead. Except Isha... who is captured... and Khaine... who is shattered
Your hate for John could power an Astronomican lol
Your rants are he best structured 40k rants on youtube, not one other channel gets to the bone marrow like you 💯
THANKS MAN XD
"John Grammaticus is love! John Grammaticus is life!" -The Emperor (probably)
He’s a Gary Stu. A character for whom the setting/narrative changes to cater to them.
I can *feel* the hours of hatred poured into making this scrip
John Grammaticus tried touching my Abacus.
I couldn't keep him from my thesaurus
John Grammaticus taught the entire world to love again
Erebus over John Grammaticus?! Good lord, you DO hate J.G.
I can’t.
I will always hate Erebus over JG.
3 minutes in and I can FEEL your passion on this topic lol
I've been holding this in for a WHILE
Johnny Grimbo truly is the Hamwarmer 40'000
Come to think of it, Abaddon is kinda like a reverse John Grammaticus: he's a good character when in the spotlight but the less he's shown the more he sucks.
"Does [being a logokine] warrant the atttention of the Emperor?"
It does if it means he can speak Enuncia.
Big E was so dangrously infatuated with that tongue Ollianus Pius had to destory the Tower of Babel.
This doesn't redeem the character or anything. I just thought this point in partiuclar fell flat.
Did they ever make that the point of his character because if they didn't then cronos point didn't fall flat also it seems like a no brainer and something that he could actually affect without coming off as a OC
@@isiahalcindor6278 yes. The only reason the loyalists stopped horus was John using a word of Enuncia to stun him to buy time.
Makes sense why Lorgar is so into it.
@@charlyjordan3545 Using warp speech so powerful that it was/could have simply deleted the warp to knock someone on their ass is probably the most retarded way to wield such power.
As said once before, using the reality warping to summon a tapdance show of by the C'tan crew would be less immersion breaking.
I mean considering the crazy bs Eunica is shown to do honestly it makes sense why the Big E is obsessed with it, hell I'd be obsessed with it given half the crazy stuff its done
My eyes roll into the back of my head every time I hit a John Grammaticus chapter. He’s like the sacrificial bad character Abnett has to keep alive so the rest of his writing can be good.
This 1000000000 %
I got the same feeling with them as I did with Bran when reading Game of Thrones, every time met with the decision of "Do I just skip this? I know nothing THAT important is going to happen"
How can you hate him? He's just Joooooooooohn freaking gramaaaaaaaaaaaaticus.
I agree strongly! He completely underminded Ollanius Pius plot arch and Ollanius's character in general.
He does do a Jedi mind trick in legion - when he’s discovered in Rhuksana’s quarters
John Grammaticus was meant to be James Bond. In Legion? You can't read him as anything other than the classic James Bond.
.. the other books are a crappy Tumblr/Twitter OC version.
I think Dan was forced to bring him back, and resented it, so he tried writing a character to make the editors mad enough to kill off. Pretty sure they didn't notice.
Seeing as Abnett has been producing "worse than tumblrinas AI boyfriend" level writing for a while, i think its more that some prior works were lightning in a bottle. After all, no good writer would ever retcon a story of how no matter who you are, the lowliest soldier to the closest a physical god could be, you are still human and its the humanity which matters/will be both your main strength and downfall to a magic trick illusion show with a bad liquid crystal wafer based side reference to TTS (that wasn't even on jetbikes nor would send one to ultramar).
Perpetuals were a mistake. Yes even Vulcan being one sucks he didn't need to be.
Completely agree. He should have been dead, but now hes just a stereotypical black dad
Vulcan,Malcador and The Big E make sense. Theyre all insanely powerful,and have reason to be perpetuals and surviving for so long. Someone like John and Oll somehow surviving for thousands of years and Ollanius being even older than E with no powers or actual ability bro the chances of surviving without even being functionally invincible for over 30,000 years should be a negative chance of happening. How did he survive the collapse of mankind,millions of wars,demons,and psykers by being a random lad. I mean hell you'd think he'd have encountered a famine at least once where he'd just fukin starve to death.
John grammaticus is what happens when josh Whedon writes warhammer
Man is out here written like a Steven Segal protagonist...bet he runs like him too
Once again, Chrono is based
FGHJ THANKS REN
He's like ciaphas cain but in reverse plot armor. Ciaphas cain see's john carmmaticus and how he serves the Imperium of man and the emperor. Ciaphas cain tell Jurgen to hold his beer. Same goes for Sebastian Yarick and gaunt. To show john carmmaticus how it's done right.
"I want him backhanded into the next dimension"
Horus did that to LE-2 and dude just walked back
I was first introduced to Grammaticus in legion, so I now understand why I view him so differently than you do 😂
Same bro
I think John Grammaticus actually did the Jedi mind trick thingy in Legion, but certainly not on a space marine and it wasn’t permanent
John and Draco sitting beside each other contemplating their massive self importance
The entire argonauts arc is sooo painfull
Lol
"I love erebus"
Opinion discarded instantly
I gotta say going into this warhammer 40k lore video the last thing I expected to discover was that Martin Luther King was assassinated by time traveling aliens.
I just realized something. He is literally just Captain Jack Harkness, but in Warhammer. American accent and all.
Yeah but none of the charm of Captain Jack lol.
My first video of Chrono’s was about TEATD Vol. II and his rant about John Grammaticus in there reminded me of Kitten from TTS ranting about the Tau (which I loved). Glad he could finally get it all out lol
PFFFTT LMAO, I’m honoured XD
Drinking game: take a shot everytime you hear "that being"
John grammaiticus is the person who rubs his hands together before he eats and allways declares "let's dig in guys".
I really hate your voice but you are the smartest analyst on 40k so you deserve a sub and a like.
Honestly, that would put you in the minority because that's one thing people compliment me on consistently when they hear me stuff BUT THANKS
If only John Grammaticus died at the end of the Legion book, it would fit his story so damn good and we wouldn't have to suffer the stuff he does afterwards as well.
"Oh, here's the video chrono kept saying he was gonna upload. What's the runti-45 MINUTES???"
That voice you do for John sounds pretty similar to your normal voice ngl.
But for reals cant wait for your review of the final book. The genuine passion you put into this channel really makes you stand out from the rest.
Hah, Johnny G sounds like Steven Seagal of 40k, playing Steven Seagal in a Steven Seagal movie
Ngl, I hated him after the shadow crusade and Legion, and I was kinda hyped when I found your channel and saw that I wasn’t the only one. But he kinda grew on me over the Siege of Terra. Not sure why.
Stockholm Syndrome
@@livefromtheblacklibrary😂
This is how I feel as well. In the seige (as far as I've read) he's doing well
I enjoyed John and his crazy journey. It was just a human thrown into the worst possible situations in the setting. It was also rare for a human pov in the heresy so that was a welcome change of pace. That he was tied to alpha legion was also quite funny couse he also struggled to figured out which hes actualy on and if there is even a good side in this war.
I am the godfuckin Johhhhnnnnnn gramaaaticuuuss
When you said "I love Erebus" is genuinely put down the mini I was painting and glared at my phone.
Oll and john reminds me of that one Spiderman meme where peter is thinking of trying to make something out of the situation, and Miles is just acting goofy.
Ollie pearson was found on Calth, not on Terra, and made his way to Terra. So he did leave for a very long time. John brought him back into the war.
I have waited for this moment since I first watched a video from you. You have truly blursed us on this day.
Engagement
TARGET ENGAGED
I think what pisses me off about John is that he's canonically the last catholic in the 40k universe. And as a catholic myself, this offends me on a fundamental level. XD
That's ollanius, unless I missed something (or its at the very end). Viva Christo Rey!
@@kingofsicily Viva Christo Rey! And you're right, it's Ollanius. I've might gotten It mixed up in the End and the Death vol. 2 video
John Grammaticus is the 40k equivalent of Olaf form Frozen.
I was waiting for this.
ME TOO MAN
He managed to go the whole way through this without even mentioning the time travelling eldar scissors of destiny.
I’ve been waiting for this video since I first learned of your hatred for Johnny G
During my nearly 4 years of Warhammer 40k fanaticism (beginning when I first read, nay, absorbed, _Horus Rising_ in county jail, of all places) I've slept on this character. No longer, I have a need to know everything about The Setting.
John Gramaticus is intensely interesting. Thank you for this entry, Brother
May I ask what you did to land in jail?
@erdachtzumuntergang During an (alleged) average, routine, retail merchboost mission, I was charged with 'resisting' the detainment commands of 2 nonplussed Street Judges patrolling the Walmart commercblock.
Who then proceeded to perform a nonvehicular P.I.T. maneuver on my face,
then consigning me to a 2 week term in the Tulsa County isocubes. 😁
I can't wait for the part 2 of this video that solely is about what he does in Vol 3
Have they made it so that he's different now than Marty Stu?
Holy shit, it's John Warhammer! I mean John Grammaticus!
Salamanders.... get the flamers.
*THE HEAVY FLAMERS.*
SIR YES, SIR
Heavy framers aren't even enough, get the multi melta
@@bushsbakedbeans2348 empty out the armory
Summon the Exterminatus!
Honestly, just blow up the sun just to be safe.
John Grammaticus is Dan Abnett's self-insert. No really, this isn't a joke. 🙄😭
JAAAAAHNN FREAKIN GRAMMMMATTTICUS!
Sometimes a character is not a character but just a plot device
John was ok in legion and I geniuenly felt sorry for him because it was clead that he was never going to be allowed to rest in peace and would have to live to witness the results of his actions.
Ive not read the siege of terra books yet so ill wait until after to watch this.
I have awaited this day for long awaited moons! Perfect
"John used Talk No Justsu! It was super effective!"
I never read the books, but from the example given to me, it seems to be that John is the textbook example of just because someone’s old or older than you mean they’re much more mature or wise.
Skipped all John parts in the siege of terra and nothing was taken away other than googling Oll for like 6 seconds.
Damn, never thought I’d hear negative self talk from the great chrono.
Honestly at the end of the book I looked forward to this hissy fit more than any other story John could infect 😂. Love the vids
about Ol’ fighting in the unification wars, I got the impression from a few different stories that Ol’ is so old and has lived so many lives that sometimes he forgets large chunks of the past if he’s not actively working to remember.
I’m not gonna lie, volume 1 was the best and it went down hill from there. Especially with Horus vs the big E. Like the emperor literally didn’t do anything until he got the dagger
Well I don't know, I'm just John frickin Gramaaaaticus
Indeed.
19:50 To be fair, when captured by the Alpha Legion, the pet pyrokine that the Alphas have with him warns him not to use mind tricks because he will burn him immediately.