I've definitely noticed the change in behaviour, in the sense that before, you seemed more anxious, and now you just look so much more at peace. Maybe that has to do with transition or maybe with just growing up, or both, but in any case I'm glad to see you happier, more confident, and wanting the most out of life. I wish you luck on all your endeavors ❤
I had a double mastectomy 45 years ago and I still have numb spots. I think it just comes with the territory. Don't let it bother you too much, that's the way it will probably be the rest of your life. I don't mean to upset you, but, you might as well know now, right? Love you Alex!!!
This all sounded sooo familiar to me. It's interesting that you mention your "lumpy" chest because I have exactly the same problem/feeling (also peri-areolar). Since my areolas are still too big anyway, I'm planning on having a revision and hope to then get rid of those "roundy" shapes on my chest, too.
Everyone should get therapy. Everyone needs it. No one is perfectly happy. But therapy isn't just for people that aren't happy. Therapy helps you understand your mind and feelings, and that can make your life so much better! I'm so happy for you, you look awesome! 👏
lara * _Nope nope_ *NOopEEe* If it wasn't for transitioning purposes I wouldn't ever come close to a therapist again. Never helped me, just made things much much worse. But that's just me personally.
Not everyone needs therapy, and not everyone like therapy, there are different ways to do things emotionally other than "therapy" I personal hate therapy because it does not help me, I help myself like some others out there.
What’s crazy is I watched this in 7th grade thinking I’d never get close to where he is but now I’m almost a year on t and surgery in planning and I’ll continue to watch this man. Because he taught me everything. Thank you
But GOSH DARN IT I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU (You've really inspired me to keep on, if you you can be happy to be alive, mabey I can be one day. Best regards, -a smol trans boy)
*finger guns* hahaha we're all suffering here, dysphoria is fun. :'D (Unless you're cis and are just insecure about you're bod, then you probs don't have dysphoria, but you're prob still suffering, Idk your life)
This is the first time I watched any video of the FTM transition. I know very little about this subject but I just want to applause you for your courage and your willingness to share your journey with the world. You are a truly amazing guy!
OH MY GOODNESS. I just pulled myself through the darkest mental health time and I am also worrying about death and eternity and infinity when previously I had such a different relationship with it. I'm pleased you're feeling happy, good luck, we're always here.
I'm cryinggg. I have been watching your video for a few years now and it's soooo amazing to see how far you've come!! I am so proud of you for being strong through everything :D congrats
alex ive been following your transition for a couple of years now and im just so so happy for you i cant even put it into words. you deserve all the happiness in the world
the comment about death. . .yeah I get that. I went through some tough times and now I realise i'm scared of dying when I used to wish I could sleep and never wake up. Like, i'm so glad you've reached the point when you can say that you want to live now, because it took me a while to realise this too. and I guess this reminded me that i'm here to live, not just exist. thanks
So proud of you bud. You make this sound a lot less awkward than it usually is, and it's helpful to a lot of people. You inspire people, and I'm sure we're all happy for you. I love how you joke about things, and it makes it easier to think about. It's great that you're happy about your body now, and are comfortable with it. I wish everyone who watches your videos someday become happy with themselves.
Your hairline has a "male distribution" now (thats what we call it in the physical exam), which is shaped like an M. I dont think it has to do with going bald, dont worry
I love how excited you became when talking about wanting to live. I can't imagine the thoughts that have gone through your head over the years, but I'm glad to see that happier ones are taking center stage now.
I love this video because we see a lot of younger Alex mannerisms. It's so fun to watch people grow up, and also it's great once in a while to remember that this person you are now is distinctly connected to tiny pre-T Alex who first met Jake and all that stuff
Just want to thank you for your words about your fear of death at 5:48. It reaches me. Now I can't stop thinking that maybe... maybe I'm slacking living because I don't enjoy where I am atm or who I am. Its so obvious, I know, like, everyone talk about it. But I just realised with my own heart that at the moment when I will get this hunger for living - it will be a sigh of me being at MY place, living MY life. Thank you.
as a pre-transitioned transmale, seeing your videos makes me feel so much better for myself... like, you give me a clear vision of what i want to be, and you make me feel not ashamed for being transgender. thanks alex
its beautiful to see how far you have come, how much you have changed, your so much happier!! and thats what motivates me to keep going, i really look up to you and can sort of relate to things you say? i am so far from getting top surgery and going on t but i know its going to happen, you remind me of that each time you upload a video, it makes my day so much better. One day i can actually go outside and be so much more confident!! since i have ptsd its hard to talk to people. i tend to isolate myself, but you. your an inspiration. seeing your journey encourages me every day. Even on days i just never want to move or get up. thank you!! i love you so so much!! have a amazing day or night hun! just know that every one of your fans admire you for being you. and we all hella fucking love ya :D
hey Alex. I use a sugar fave scrub that I found a recipe for online and it works really well and makes my face really soft. Here's the recipe. • 1 1/2 cups of brown sugar • 1 cup of white sugar • 1 cup of oil (any essential oil) • 1 tbs of vanilla
You were the first trans guy youtuber I looked up, you weren't even on t yet. So happy to see so much progress and you smiling. You were there for me at my most scared time even though you don't know it, so thank you
Dude i just got a referral to a GIC and i just wanna say a huge thank you for being so helpful and informative! Honestly i've been watching your videos even before you went on T and it seemed like suuuuch a long way for me to get T as well but now I'm getting close and I'm so happy :). Wishing you all the best mate 💜
Thanks for the update! Happy to hear you're doing well regarding the disphoria! But I really hope that you'll find peace in other mental aspects as well :)
Wish you luck bro. To be honest, you look pretty good, and even though you are maybe not feeling completely okay (like mentally), I can see, that it is better than it was a year ago. And I'm really happy for that. You deserve to be happy and not just because what you've already came through. You are good person and you should treasure yourself, because in this world there is a shortage of people like you. You've helped a lot of us trust me. Thank you
it's so nice to see you so happy and proud of your body. i've been watching you for the best part of two years and i'm so glad your quest for a beard has finally been satisfied! sending all the love alex 💖💖
I really enjoy listening to your voice and Im happy about the fact how much you`ve changed: I`m here on your channel for a while now and it makes me glad to see you happy
I had that phase where I was terrified of dying too in my first year. I was finally happy for the first time ever and I was really scared of losing that. It's cool to know I'm not the only one.
I absolutely love your top surgery results. Thank you for talking about your surgical experience it's really helping me decide what I want in the future.
man i was feeling why do i exist here in this world but when you said you want to live after transition i felt so hopeful for my future. Thank you Alex.
I'm so glad to see you happy ! Before you seemed very anxious and unhappy but now I see that you're full of life and enjoying yourself ☺️ it's truly inspiring and amazing to see you living your life 100% authentically yourself while inspiring others to do the same.Love you Alex 💙
A little advise for your acne: I take zinc tablets, they're super cheap and I notice a HUGE difference when I'm using them, it can take about a week of taking them (you take one every day but they're only little) before they start to kick in but after that they are super helpful and there's no side effects. Also I put sudocrem on my spots every night and I have no idea what it does but it makes them go down LOADS. I hope that helps 😁❤️
Emma Young zinc helps support the immune system and a strong immune system brings down inflammation and increases disease fighting and helps eliminate pathogens. It also can help with hormone regulation slightly
You’re so inspirational!!! I just stumbled upon your channel today (and have been going down the rabbit hole of videos...) and it’s just clever, honest and fresh!! Oh, and you and jake are totally adorable!!! ❤️❤️
You should react to your first video to "the quest to Alex's beard" series. I watched it after watching this and DAMN. You've came so far and I want to cry
African Black Soap is a miracle worker for acne. Here in the states they have a brand called Shea Moisture and they have a bar...body wash...toner...moisturizer...face mask...etc.All of the products are great. I am struggling with acne really bad right now and this has been the only thing over the counter that has helped and I saw a dramatic improvement in less than a week of using it 3x a day.My bacne is almost totally gone from using the body wash. My face is 75-80% better. I no longer feel like people see my acne then my face...now I have a face that has a little acne. I have faith that this will keep it at bay till my levels settle and this second puberty is over. Good Luck!
Alex. I've been following you ever since you were 15 years old. You are the CZcamsr that made me realize that I was trans. And you've been my inspiration ever since. If there was a person who I didn't know that I had to pick to be happy for the rest of there lives it would be you man. I'm so glad your happy. Your still my inspiration. Honestly I want to look exactly like you, your beard is fucking awesome and that jawline man. I just started hormones like a month and a half ago, wish me luck Alex! Wish me luck guys. BTW I really want to meet you so hopefully that will happen soon!
i started watching him when he was 15 and then i kinda forgot about him then i saw one of his old videos and thought "huh, i wonder what he looks like now." so i clicked on the video, went to his channel, went to his videos and i was like "OMG. MY LIL BEAN IS A GROWN UP BEAN"
I noticed the same "Wait my dysphoria is gone but why am I still depressed??" thing. It was easy to pile all my shit into the "it'll go away when I transition" basket...but it doesn't go away without treatment of some sort. Definitely look into therapy. It's good for all people at some point!
I had the same top surgery done and I also had crazy sensitive sensation on one side which returned much faster than the other side. It levelled out eventually after about a year and the same thing happened to the other side with increased sensitivity and then the sensation mellowed out evenly to more or less normal. Regarding the acne - I found that cutting milk products out of my diet helped tremendously (e.g. whey protein, latte, milkshakes, ice cream, etc.). I still have it as a treat now and then so it's not the end of the world but your mileage may vary.
I've been here all along the way for your transition and honestly I'm so happy for you and proud of you seeing you genuinely happy and feeling good about yourself just makes me happy and is so inspiring and I'm cis so I can't imaging what you're doing for the trans community and idk this video just made me really happy
For the death thing i suggest a youtuber called "ask a mortician"!! she has videos talking about the death industry, death history as well as how to tackle your own fear of death. Ive learned so much from her and can gladly say shes helped me change the way i think about death (shes also very funny)!
I really related to what you said about death. For pretty much as long as I can remember I've been, at the most, indifferent about life. Recently, I've become more hopeful about the future. At the same time I also became terrified of death, which is something I have never experienced before. It felt like these feeling came out of nowhere and I didn't really know how to handle it. It was nice hearing that someone else feels the same way!
If your acne is really bad go online and check out the body shop. They have some shops in the U.K also. They have a tea tree line for face washes and I use them and it works well!
i really like your hairline honestly mine is way too round, I don't want to be bald or have thinning hair, but i definitely want a more masculine hairline like yours! your hair seems nice and full.
Here in a couple months I'm going to be stationed at Mildenhall Air Force Base. Would be amazing to meet you one day. I've followed your transitioning for quite some time now. You look amazing!
It makes me so happy to see you grow and gaining all this confidence! Keep on rocking this life Alex, you deserve every bit of it! Thanks for this good content! :):):)
5:48 I want to be alive! I am alive! Alive, I tell you! I wanna hold you! I wanna run in a stream! I want to taste ice-cream! I don't want to just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat but really eat it!
Alex don't worry to much about spots when i first started T i had terrible acne and after i hit the two year mark on Nebido its really settled down when i went through my first puberty i also had terrible acne that needed long term treatment - bearing in mind im 34 so it might have settled down quicker for me than it will you but it does settle down I promise.
RAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I'm both super happy for & SO envious of you, Alex!!! ...But you're still awesome, either way. ^^ Looking forward to more great updates!
Your hairline pre-T was super feminine in the sense that it didn't go back at all, but now it looks like an average cis man's. I don't think you're balding yet, but it is likely you will in the future since you said your family has a history of that.
The healing/recovery process will continue.... the acne thing; wash hands more often.... the death thing will pass so do not focus on that. I am really happy for you.... best wishes.....
Just teared up a bit whist hearing the ending of this video. Glad you wanna live. Best of luck, Alex. You deserve everything you wish for. x P.S.: Also, looking for therapy is a great idea. Go for it! Take care of yourself.
You look more mature with your facial hair and your hair line. I kind of wish I had a more male hair line. Hope all is well. Been watching off and on for years you are an inspiration to me.
Been watching your journey for a few years now and it's so wonderful seeing you so happy. I do think you should look into therapy though - if there is a chance to feel even better why not take it? :-)
Looking gorge. I'm really happy I have been on your channel for so long and watched yo go on this amazing journey. I'm really proud of how far you've come. I work in skincare and have an amazing product for acne. It's so much healthier than the stuff the doctors will give you. Let me know if you would like some information xxx
I'm 3 years on T and I'm a pretty small guy and I still have love handles, they drive me crazy because I'm so small but I don't think they're going away so ur not alone with that
I love these Videos so much and this makes me rly happy bc you are so happy with yourself. like you do have a few things you don't like (everyone has that) but you're so happy about your body! I also think that therapy could rly help you if you want to do it and I'm rly prouf of ypu for aknowledging that and thinking about going to help yourself ♥ I'm so happy for you Alex, ily :)
I go through patches of anxiety, where my mood is generally better but anxiety is terrible and I’m terrified of dying, and depression where mood is on the floor and I want to lull myself. I SWEAR THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND 🙈
I use Dream Cream from Lush its really good for skin complaints. I think that to a degree because you are analysing your body that you are aware of the differences from one side to another, in general people are not quite as symmetrical as they think but because they are used to what they look like so cant see it as much. as for the sensation if I remember my sensory Science correctly, the touch system is mapped in groups the level of sensitivity can vary sometimes depending on what has happened to that area, eastern medicine talk about this a lot. Have you tried Accupuncture this may be a possible way of changing the sensitivity of the skin, I had it to sort my Sciatic nerve many years ago and It helped a lot. the hair line, again it often a testosterone thing, but it does look good on you and it probably contributes to the overall male aesthetic. shaving rash and itching, you could try pre-shave lotion or something with chamomile in it. Mental health, this is common one problem will often mask another so when one thing is solved there is sometimes another unresolved issue beneath there is no shame is getting counselling or psychotherapy, its more recognising the need then going and doing it, and identifying what kind of therapy would work. Sometimes a simple bending of the ear of a neutral person helps, sometimes someone helping you make strategies to deal with a problem helps. Personally I use meditative practices for some things. The important thing though is you keep talking about it especially to the people who are closest to you. Also concerning hormones, though your testosterone intake is controlled every individual will metabolise it differently and at different times the body will metabolise it differently too so its still possible to get mood variation and libido variation. also there are other Endorphin's which may change some of this too i think. Either way though you have done really really well and very much admire your courage
"*My Butt issssss...SO Hairy*" - 😂 at least that part of your body will stay warm 😂
I've definitely noticed the change in behaviour, in the sense that before, you seemed more anxious, and now you just look so much more at peace. Maybe that has to do with transition or maybe with just growing up, or both, but in any case I'm glad to see you happier, more confident, and wanting the most out of life.
I wish you luck on all your endeavors ❤
i'm glad you're feeling better boyo !!
Your hairline doesn’t look like it’s receding. It looks like a mature male hairline. I got mine around 20 and it’s been the same for the last 6 years.
Wow your chest looks great dude
I had a double mastectomy 45 years ago and I still have numb spots. I think it just comes with the territory. Don't let it bother you too much, that's the way it will probably be the rest of your life. I don't mean to upset you, but, you might as well know now, right? Love you Alex!!!
This all sounded sooo familiar to me.
It's interesting that you mention your "lumpy" chest because I have exactly the same problem/feeling (also peri-areolar). Since my areolas are still too big anyway, I'm planning on having a revision and hope to then get rid of those "roundy" shapes on my chest, too.
Everyone should get therapy. Everyone needs it. No one is perfectly happy. But therapy isn't just for people that aren't happy. Therapy helps you understand your mind and feelings, and that can make your life so much better! I'm so happy for you, you look awesome! 👏
lara * _Nope nope_ *NOopEEe* If it wasn't for transitioning purposes I wouldn't ever come close to a therapist again. Never helped me, just made things much much worse. But that's just me personally.
Not everyone needs therapy, and not everyone like therapy, there are different ways to do things emotionally other than "therapy" I personal hate therapy because it does not help me, I help myself like some others out there.
What’s crazy is I watched this in 7th grade thinking I’d never get close to where he is but now I’m almost a year on t and surgery in planning and I’ll continue to watch this man. Because he taught me everything. Thank you
Asdfghjkl, your jaw is, so square, your chest, so flat, your voice, so deep, my jealousy, so high.
Calvin Pope I love this haha sammmmmeeee
But GOSH DARN IT I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU
(You've really inspired me to keep on, if you you can be happy to be alive, mabey I can be one day.
Best regards,
-a smol trans boy)
*finger guns* hahaha we're all suffering here, dysphoria is fun. :'D
(Unless you're cis and are just insecure about you're bod, then you probs don't have dysphoria, but you're prob still suffering, Idk your life)
Im ftm haha
This is the first time I watched any video of the FTM transition. I know very little about this subject but I just want to applause you for your courage and your willingness to share your journey with the world. You are a truly amazing guy!
OH MY GOODNESS. I just pulled myself through the darkest mental health time and I am also worrying about death and eternity and infinity when previously I had such a different relationship with it. I'm pleased you're feeling happy, good luck, we're always here.
IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUUU 💕💕
your giggle could cure my sadness
I'm cryinggg. I have been watching your video for a few years now and it's soooo amazing to see how far you've come!! I am so proud of you for being strong through everything :D congrats
I started therapy about 7 months ago - Best thing I've ever done. ❤️ you!
alex ive been following your transition for a couple of years now and im just so so happy for you i cant even put it into words. you deserve all the happiness in the world
the comment about death. . .yeah I get that. I went through some tough times and now I realise i'm scared of dying when I used to wish I could sleep and never wake up. Like, i'm so glad you've reached the point when you can say that you want to live now, because it took me a while to realise this too. and I guess this reminded me that i'm here to live, not just exist. thanks
I have been watching your channel for 3 years and it has been amazing to watch your transition. I am so unbelievably happy for you
I am literally crying. I've been watching you for the last 5 years and I am so happy to have seen you grow up.
So proud of you bud. You make this sound a lot less awkward than it usually is, and it's helpful to a lot of people. You inspire people, and I'm sure we're all happy for you. I love how you joke about things, and it makes it easier to think about. It's great that you're happy about your body now, and are comfortable with it. I wish everyone who watches your videos someday become happy with themselves.
Your hairline has a "male distribution" now (thats what we call it in the physical exam), which is shaped like an M. I dont think it has to do with going bald, dont worry
I love how excited you became when talking about wanting to live. I can't imagine the thoughts that have gone through your head over the years, but I'm glad to see that happier ones are taking center stage now.
I love this video because we see a lot of younger Alex mannerisms. It's so fun to watch people grow up, and also it's great once in a while to remember that this person you are now is distinctly connected to tiny pre-T Alex who first met Jake and all that stuff
Just want to thank you for your words about your fear of death at 5:48. It reaches me.
Now I can't stop thinking that maybe... maybe I'm slacking living because I don't enjoy where I am atm or who I am. Its so obvious, I know, like, everyone talk about it. But I just realised with my own heart that at the moment when I will get this hunger for living - it will be a sigh of me being at MY place, living MY life.
Thank you.
Super jealous of your chest bro!
as a pre-transitioned transmale, seeing your videos makes me feel so much better for myself... like, you give me a clear vision of what i want to be, and you make me feel not ashamed for being transgender. thanks alex
I haven't watched your videos in ages and I'm so amazed at how far you've come! So happy for you.
you guys I'm literally crying.. I'm so happy for him. I've seen him grow and change so much and I'm just ugh so happy :,)
I remember watching you, like, 3 years ago? if you were even on CZcams then idk but man you came far and I'm proud
its beautiful to see how far you have come, how much you have changed, your so much happier!! and thats what motivates me to keep going, i really look up to you and can sort of relate to things you say? i am so far from getting top surgery and going on t but i know its going to happen, you remind me of that each time you upload a video, it makes my day so much better. One day i can actually go outside and be so much more confident!! since i have ptsd its hard to talk to people. i tend to isolate myself, but you. your an inspiration. seeing your journey encourages me every day. Even on days i just never want to move or get up. thank you!! i love you so so much!! have a amazing day or night hun! just know that every one of your fans admire you for being you. and we all hella fucking love ya :D
hey Alex. I use a sugar fave scrub that I found a recipe for online and it works really well and makes my face really soft. Here's the recipe.
• 1 1/2 cups of brown sugar
• 1 cup of white sugar
• 1 cup of oil (any essential oil)
• 1 tbs of vanilla
You were the first trans guy youtuber I looked up, you weren't even on t yet. So happy to see so much progress and you smiling. You were there for me at my most scared time even though you don't know it, so thank you
Dude i just got a referral to a GIC and i just wanna say a huge thank you for being so helpful and informative! Honestly i've been watching your videos even before you went on T and it seemed like suuuuch a long way for me to get T as well but now I'm getting close and I'm so happy :). Wishing you all the best mate 💜
that's so encouraging that now you're happy to be alive
Thanks for the update! Happy to hear you're doing well regarding the disphoria! But I really hope that you'll find peace in other mental aspects as well :)
It's so great that you are sharing your journey with us, Alex! Thank you :) Also, very excited for the release of your book!
Wish you luck bro. To be honest, you look pretty good, and even though you are maybe not feeling completely okay (like mentally), I can see, that it is better than it was a year ago. And I'm really happy for that. You deserve to be happy and not just because what you've already came through. You are good person and you should treasure yourself, because in this world there is a shortage of people like you. You've helped a lot of us trust me.
Thank you
OMG IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I WATCHED YOU AND YOU GREW UP SO MUCH AND YOUR VOICE SOUNDS SO MUCH DEEPER. ALSO CONGRATS ON THE SURGERY
it's so nice to see you so happy and proud of your body. i've been watching you for the best part of two years and i'm so glad your quest for a beard has finally been satisfied! sending all the love alex 💖💖
I really enjoy listening to your voice and Im happy about the fact how much you`ve changed: I`m here on your channel for a while now and it makes me glad to see you happy
I had that phase where I was terrified of dying too in my first year. I was finally happy for the first time ever and I was really scared of losing that. It's cool to know I'm not the only one.
I absolutely love your top surgery results. Thank you for talking about your surgical experience it's really helping me decide what I want in the future.
man i was feeling why do i exist here in this world but when you said you want to live after transition i felt so hopeful for my future. Thank you Alex.
I'm so glad to see you happy ! Before you seemed very anxious and unhappy but now I see that you're full of life and enjoying yourself ☺️ it's truly inspiring and amazing to see you living your life 100% authentically yourself while inspiring others to do the same.Love you Alex 💙
A little advise for your acne: I take zinc tablets, they're super cheap and I notice a HUGE difference when I'm using them, it can take about a week of taking them (you take one every day but they're only little) before they start to kick in but after that they are super helpful and there's no side effects. Also I put sudocrem on my spots every night and I have no idea what it does but it makes them go down LOADS. I hope that helps 😁❤️
Emma Young zinc helps support the immune system and a strong immune system brings down inflammation and increases disease fighting and helps eliminate pathogens. It also can help with hormone regulation slightly
I'm very glad you want to be here on earth. It's great having you here :)
I finally got everything together for my insurance, so they will cover my top surgery. Your videos really helped me a lot, so thanks!
You’re so inspirational!!! I just stumbled upon your channel today (and have been going down the rabbit hole of videos...) and it’s just clever, honest and fresh!! Oh, and you and jake are totally adorable!!! ❤️❤️
You should react to your first video to "the quest to Alex's beard" series. I watched it after watching this and DAMN. You've came so far and I want to cry
African Black Soap is a miracle worker for acne. Here in the states they have a brand called Shea Moisture and they have a bar...body wash...toner...moisturizer...face mask...etc.All of the products are great. I am struggling with acne really bad right now and this has been the only thing over the counter that has helped and I saw a dramatic improvement in less than a week of using it 3x a day.My bacne is almost totally gone from using the body wash. My face is 75-80% better. I no longer feel like people see my acne then my face...now I have a face that has a little acne. I have faith that this will keep it at bay till my levels settle and this second puberty is over. Good Luck!
Alex. I've been following you ever since you were 15 years old. You are the CZcamsr that made me realize that I was trans. And you've been my inspiration ever since. If there was a person who I didn't know that I had to pick to be happy for the rest of there lives it would be you man. I'm so glad your happy. Your still my inspiration. Honestly I want to look exactly like you, your beard is fucking awesome and that jawline man. I just started hormones like a month and a half ago, wish me luck Alex! Wish me luck guys. BTW I really want to meet you so hopefully that will happen soon!
SkinNYmini Good luck on your journey ! It's great that you're living your life 100% you
SkinNYmini when I was first figuring out my gender my friend told me about Alex and he helped me realise so much.
i started watching him when he was 15 and then i kinda forgot about him then i saw one of his old videos and thought "huh, i wonder what he looks like now." so i clicked on the video, went to his channel, went to his videos and i was like "OMG. MY LIL BEAN IS A GROWN UP BEAN"
It's so weird that it's already been 8 months since you've had top surgery wtff, only feels like it's been 3 xD really happy for you Alex :)
I noticed the same "Wait my dysphoria is gone but why am I still depressed??" thing. It was easy to pile all my shit into the "it'll go away when I transition" basket...but it doesn't go away without treatment of some sort. Definitely look into therapy. It's good for all people at some point!
I had the same top surgery done and I also had crazy sensitive sensation on one side which returned much faster than the other side. It levelled out eventually after about a year and the same thing happened to the other side with increased sensitivity and then the sensation mellowed out evenly to more or less normal.
Regarding the acne - I found that cutting milk products out of my diet helped tremendously (e.g. whey protein, latte, milkshakes, ice cream, etc.). I still have it as a treat now and then so it's not the end of the world but your mileage may vary.
I've been here all along the way for your transition and honestly I'm so happy for you and proud of you seeing you genuinely happy and feeling good about yourself just makes me happy and is so inspiring and I'm cis so I can't imaging what you're doing for the trans community and idk this video just made me really happy
You look so much happier Alex, I'm so excited for what's to come!
For the death thing i suggest a youtuber called "ask a mortician"!! she has videos talking about the death industry, death history as well as how to tackle your own fear of death. Ive learned so much from her and can gladly say shes helped me change the way i think about death (shes also very funny)!
Ahhhhh I'm so proud of you 💕 been here since almost the beginning and it's been amazing to watch you reach your goals
I'd love to see a before and after now! You've come so far.
Thank u for putting words to how I felt mate 2 years ago I found u and I'm so happy I did
I really related to what you said about death. For pretty much as long as I can remember I've been, at the most, indifferent about life. Recently, I've become more hopeful about the future. At the same time I also became terrified of death, which is something I have never experienced before. It felt like these feeling came out of nowhere and I didn't really know how to handle it. It was nice hearing that someone else feels the same way!
If your acne is really bad go online and check out the body shop. They have some shops in the U.K also. They have a tea tree line for face washes and I use them and it works well!
i really like your hairline honestly
mine is way too round, I don't want to be bald or have thinning hair, but i definitely want a more masculine hairline like yours! your hair seems nice and full.
Woah, no way... This is the best transition I've ever seen.
Alex I really enjoy these little updates and I'm so glad you're happy!!!
Here in a couple months I'm going to be stationed at Mildenhall Air Force Base. Would be amazing to meet you one day. I've followed your transitioning for quite some time now. You look amazing!
It makes me so happy to see you grow and gaining all this confidence! Keep on rocking this life Alex, you deserve every bit of it! Thanks for this good content! :):):)
5:48 I want to be alive! I am alive! Alive, I tell you! I wanna hold you! I wanna run in a stream! I want to taste ice-cream! I don't want to just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat but really eat it!
Alex don't worry to much about spots when i first started T i had terrible acne and after i hit the two year mark on Nebido its really settled down when i went through my first puberty i also had terrible acne that needed long term treatment - bearing in mind im 34 so it might have settled down quicker for me than it will you but it does settle down I promise.
RAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I'm both super happy for & SO envious of you, Alex!!! ...But you're still awesome, either way. ^^ Looking forward to more great updates!
Your hairline pre-T was super feminine in the sense that it didn't go back at all, but now it looks like an average cis man's. I don't think you're balding yet, but it is likely you will in the future since you said your family has a history of that.
if you look up men short hairstyles the hairline thing is a generalization lol, alex does look good tho
Your chest looks so good like there are no scars or anything
I had a breast reduction last year I have numb feeling . I am on the wait list for top surgery can't wait for it .
The healing/recovery process will continue.... the acne thing; wash hands more often.... the death thing will pass so do not focus on that. I am really happy for you.... best wishes.....
i can't believe its already been that long.. time has gone over so so fast
Hey Alex I'm so happy to see that things are progressing really really well! Sending only the best to you my friend, from across the pond!😘
i love watching these types of videos it gives me so much hope for my future and i'm so happy that you're so happy thank you for sharing so much
Just teared up a bit whist hearing the ending of this video. Glad you wanna live. Best of luck, Alex. You deserve everything you wish for. x
P.S.: Also, looking for therapy is a great idea. Go for it! Take care of yourself.
You look more mature with your facial hair and your hair line. I kind of wish I had a more male hair line. Hope all is well. Been watching off and on for years you are an inspiration to me.
Interesting what you said about feeling warm. I had no idea that was a symptom x
Been watching your journey for a few years now and it's so wonderful seeing you so happy. I do think you should look into therapy though - if there is a chance to feel even better why not take it? :-)
Glad you're feeling good about your body dude!
So proud of you!
Last time i was this early i thought i was a girl
Btw thanks for saving my life, alex
god, you’re incredible and i’m really proud of you !!
So happy for you, my guy! You're looking really good!
This is a real eye opener but also giving me hope (I have another year of nhs waiting list hell - as you know it's fucking hard).
Looking gorge. I'm really happy I have been on your channel for so long and watched yo go on this amazing journey. I'm really proud of how far you've come. I work in skincare and have an amazing product for acne. It's so much healthier than the stuff the doctors will give you. Let me know if you would like some information xxx
I love this video!! it makes me feel like i might have the courage to start saving up for t, because it's a big thing and all. i'm so happy for you!!
I'm 3 years on T and I'm a pretty small guy and I still have love handles, they drive me crazy because I'm so small but I don't think they're going away so ur not alone with that
Omg, I haven't seen ur videos and a few months and you've changed so much! Oh, you look absolutely fantastic!!!❤❤❤
I feel like I grew up and have been transitioning with you. I am so fucking proud and happy for you💜
Mate how wonderful to hear you say, "I wanna live now". (PS I did enjoy looking at you too.)
i couldnt stop crying when you started talking about wanting to live 💙 ily
I love these Videos so much and this makes me rly happy bc you are so happy with yourself. like you do have a few things you don't like (everyone has that) but you're so happy about your body!
I also think that therapy could rly help you if you want to do it and I'm rly prouf of ypu for aknowledging that and thinking about going to help yourself ♥
I'm so happy for you Alex, ily :)
For the acne I would suggest looking at your diet. Mine only flare up when I have a lot of sugar or fatty foods
I go through patches of anxiety, where my mood is generally better but anxiety is terrible and I’m terrified of dying, and depression where mood is on the floor and I want to lull myself. I SWEAR THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND 🙈
im glad ur feeling better alex...i wish to talk with u in private but idk how...
Your videos have always and will always be my favourite Alex
I use Dream Cream from Lush its really good for skin complaints. I think that to a degree because you are analysing your body that you are aware of the differences from one side to another, in general people are not quite as symmetrical as they think but because they are used to what they look like so cant see it as much. as for the sensation if I remember my sensory Science correctly, the touch system is mapped in groups the level of sensitivity can vary sometimes depending on what has happened to that area, eastern medicine talk about this a lot. Have you tried Accupuncture this may be a possible way of changing the sensitivity of the skin, I had it to sort my Sciatic nerve many years ago and It helped a lot.
the hair line, again it often a testosterone thing, but it does look good on you and it probably contributes to the overall male aesthetic. shaving rash and itching, you could try pre-shave lotion or something with chamomile in it.
Mental health, this is common one problem will often mask another so when one thing is solved there is sometimes another unresolved issue beneath there is no shame is getting counselling or psychotherapy, its more recognising the need then going and doing it, and identifying what kind of therapy would work. Sometimes a simple bending of the ear of a neutral person helps, sometimes someone helping you make strategies to deal with a problem helps. Personally I use meditative practices for some things. The important thing though is you keep talking about it especially to the people who are closest to you.
Also concerning hormones, though your testosterone intake is controlled every individual will metabolise it differently and at different times the body will metabolise it differently too so its still possible to get mood variation and libido variation. also there are other Endorphin's which may change some of this too i think.
Either way though you have done really really well and very much admire your courage