I'm just starting the video, but I wanted to drop a big, warm THANK YOU!!! Thank you for all your work, resources, heart, mind, personality, time, and videos!!! Also, I love the fresh cut and style today! As always, you are so handsome, BUT above all and most importantly, your mind, heart, soul, and spirit SHINES so brightly, my brother! ❤️🔥 Much love from a sister, who is in Christ, praying for you and your family to come to know (or to already know) Jesus as Lord and Savior for His plans and purposes for you on earth and the way more impactful eternity soon coming for us all! I pray blessings, protection, strength, endurance, peace, and joy for you, in Jesus' name, Amen! 🙌✝️🐑🦁👑💯💞🙏🤝
As a person who had to deal with bullies as a kid, yes. Yes they can. Kids aren't innocent. That's one reason I'm a South Park fan. Matt Stone and Trey Parker pretty much said they were sick of kids being treated as innocent and pure hearted in sitcoms. So they created a show with kids who weren't.
What really needs to be addressed in lawful society is the potential brain damage that occurs in children during development. For example, when the narcissistic parent divorces and alienates to inflict more harm on the child and the child no longer has protection from an abusive family dynamic.
I'm in this situation right I have 4 kids with the narc , and I know there is emotional abuse so I tell the truth and what there Dad is without name calling and putting him down he is slim of the worst being open transparent compassion but firm on your conviction so they can think for themselves and know there is alot of Narc around so I point out this is something you have to learn about people I make it a life lesson on everyday people and life
Personality disorders develops very early so kids should be monitored while they still can be corrected. In society however narcissistic behaviors get rewarded and the narcissistic kid learns quickly he has power over others. As an empath I was bullied by narcissistic classmate and her flying monkeys. At that time I've thought it's because I am shy etc. Later I've realized she was jealous of many things and one of them was me genuinely seeing good in others, I didn't have hate towards anybody, I had good intentions and that's something narcs aren't capable of which I've learned much later in life. I believe it triggered her, bc she saw the unspoken difference between me and her. Narcs feel disconnected no matter how friends they have.
I think they learn narcissism at a young age. My narc ex had the symptoms as a small child. Ok with stealing: He’d steal quarters from his grandmother to go play video games (this was in the 80s). Manipulation: He had asthma and he’d fake asthma attacks to get out of school. Bullying: He bullied his supposed best friend about his weight. These are just a few.
That UK baby killer nurse (7 babies and now some parents coming forward with their kids' near misses) felt/incapable of feeling remorse, said doc and it's in her DNA! Pretty weird, it's her way of getting off, pretty sick! Docs who red flagged her got criticized, an earlier whistle blower doc had to write her a letter of apology even, imagine!
Yes, my narcissistic mother had my younger sister as the golden child and teached her how to control and manipulate others, my sister is a narcissist just like my NM, so it is something that is taught by the narcissistic parent very early on, she would send my sister with me everywhere so that my sister can tell her what I was doing or also to compete with me, when I went to get my driving test she sent my sister, when I went to nursing school she sent my sister, when I would tell my NM I wanted to buy a certain item guess who would end up buying it my sister!! It is hell to live with a narcissistic mother and then she puts your siblings against you, so yes children learn to be narcissist because the narcissistic parent is molding them to be the same! I'm so happy I went no contact with my covert narcissistic mother and dysfunctional family. Never ever trust the narcissistic parent or their flying monkeys. My narcissistic mother also got me a diary when I was younger then it went missing so she took it to find out my business you have no privacy with a narcissistic parent. Stay woke people they are everywhere!
My son’s father,grandmother, aunt are all narcs. I had to grieve the loss of my own child although he is still alive. It was painful but it was the best decision ever!
My answer is YES. I dealt with a narcissistic jealous female child in the early 2000s to late 2010’s with her controlling, abusive behavior. Now looking back she was a narcissistic sociopathic child to young teen who LOVED to set me up for humiliation when we were growing up. It was highly traumatic for me on top of being raised by a narcissistic mother. I’m starting to heal now at 25 since the pandemic!
For quite a long time I went to a therapist, trying to understand the insanity of my family. She told me that if I could look back into the past, I would find examples of ancestors exactly like I was dealing with inthis life. She was correct! I tried repeatedly to get my child to go with me to therapy to work out and understand. Always refused, same as the narc father. A narcisstic child is the greatest hurt I have ever experienced. They re-write a fictious history abt things that never even happened. Everything in their life is your fault! And they marry people just like them. I finf most children of narcs will work hard as empaths to never repeat parental mistakes. Some how it really serms to be in the dna.
Definately. Looking back I think it can be seen as young as 7 or 8. There's certain point where a certain amount of decency and empathy has developed in normal kids. It doesn't happen for narcissists and they haven't learned to hide it yet.
Yes! My 22yr old son is definitely a malignant narcissist as well as some other mental illnesses! I became a widow/single mom of 2 kids when I was only 33yrs old. The absolute devastation of losing my husband (their father) has taken a massive toll on all 3 of us. My son has always dealt with mental disorders since he was 3yrs old; way before losing his father. We’ve had him not only on medication but also he’s has always seen a psychiatrists and therapists regularly from 6yrs old to 16 yrs old. He was 11 yrs old when he lost his dad and my daughter was 4 yrs old. I dedicated myself whole heartedly to my children after our loss! I’m STILL single. I wanted to be there for my kids every step of the way because of what we’ve been through! I felt it was my job (and I still do) to be the example of navigating through life no matter what life throws at you. Figure out solutions and deal with things head on and not taking the easy way out! Working hard to overcome obstacles together! Well, when my son turned 14-15 he started to be very abusive towards me verbally, mentally and emotionally!! I’m so scared of him know!! My daughter is scared of him too. I had to cut him out of my life. He’s very very dangerous!!
You sound like a fabulous mom. You did everything right, I love how you got him help. Take, for example, the kid who is born with a deformed arm or hand, etc etc... Then it's easy to realize something can go wrong in the brain.
Sadly YES! Narcissim has a genetic component and those children have a tendency to be very manipulative to say the least. She was very insidious in her covert tactics from a very young age yet she ALWAYS would get her way buldozing her father, cousins, anybody on that side of the family whom she was raised to hate. It's unbelievably sick coming from a 5yr old! Your tye 2 exactly describes her, even at a young age, she would do unspeakable things with no remorse whatsoever but demanded her needs are met on the spot, if not hell breaks lose! However maybe with good parenting, they can be raised to be less harmful or even balanced adults. This is hardly the case when a parent is a narcissist and when they're used as weapons in the alienation game after the inevitable divorce. Some of them turn out to be even more toxic than the toxic parent. This is exactly what happened to my husband's daughter from his narcissistic ex. Much needed topic and thanks for covering this Danish. God bless you for shining the light on truth and helping many!
Who is "she"? You sound very vague. There is no context in your descriptions, therefore you can't be trusted just for your words alone. 5 is quite young. Narcissistic personality disorder can be diagnosed only after 18
Yep. Mine too. But I worked incredibly hard to get her help and eventually she has become a much milder narcissist. She has a real understanding of empathy and that her behavior impacts others.
Yes because for those of us who were raised in it, we witnessed it. Also, back in the 1950’s or so, the child psychologists, who were studying childhood behavior, were supposed to vet out children coming from dysfunctional homes and often times they made their analysis first and then later discovered that that child came from misbehaved parents and they would not change their findings because the work was already done. So personality disordered children got into the mix and their bad behavior was deemed as, “ normal “ childhood behavior because they didn’t want to redo the tests.
@johanna006, It’s not impossible. I took a basic psychology course, in community college. We were shown films of these tests. I saw children, the same age, go into a room, by themselves, with cameras, where they were tasked to do something. Now, if every single one of those children did every single thing the same. Then yes, it would be impossible. But guess what? Different children did different things, PROVING that it’s not impossible! And THIS IS WHY THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO VET THEM OUT FROM DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES. And I must have saw a film where they failed to vet them out properly hence, how I have this idea. Because you have to have controls in any experiment. So there’s probably A LOT wrong with generalizations on childhood behavior due to faulty testing! And then being lazy and not scratching the project and starting over because of being funded for a large amount for the experiment and being dishonest. Do you know that there’s a lot of dishonesty in the world? I just watched a show on a serial killer, who was a nurse. He killed hundreds of patients. The hospitals were figuring it out but then would send him on his way with good referrals just so that they wouldn’t get sued so he murdered with impunity! So yes, yes it’s possible when you are already dealing with a corrupt world!
Can children be narcissistic? ABSOLUTELY! But I don’t think children can officially be diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder until they’re 18. How many of these children are true narcissists versus the amount of them who are being bratty, immature, little sh*ts of teenagers is debatable. Those children are definitely worth keeping an eye on. If a parent sees a child with these negative personality traits, it’s probably best to get the child some therapy early in an attempt to stop further trouble later on. If a parent doesn’t do something to curb narcissistic tendencies in their children early, that child is going to be a handful as an adult.
Borderlines can be diagnosed early if they are cutting or if they have an eating disorder. So they will be lucky and get treatments whereas the others will not due to this stupid rule. Parents are going to need to be informed of this, somehow, so that they can start getting books, such as the one Danish recommended, and act accordingly.
@briannesbitt5907, Well, a child that displays psychopathic traits gets a different diagnosis, a different term, given to him so that he does not get the stigma of psychopath and because, apparently, it is thought that they can outgrow these behaviors.
Oh ok, they call it, conduct disorder: Symptoms of ASPD begin in childhood or adolescence, but when children show serious signs of antisocial behavior, they are diagnosed instead with conduct disorder.
There is a scripture that reads, "They go astray from the womb." Psalm 58:3 The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
My brother inlaw and his wife are a narcissistic couple. I've already noticed many narcissistic traits displayed by their son... I have 3 sons myself all around his age, and the difference is obvious 😮💨
This is consistent with the bible Rom 1: 29 having been filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, violent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful;
Not always, it depends a lot on the genetics and also, if the parents train the child to be an empath by scapegoating it. Many children raised in narcissistic families are the opposite of narcissistic.
Thank you Danish. I'm about to watch this but YES! The DSM is not always thorough as you have pointed out in previous videos. And children have inherited certain traits, "nature", that no amount of "nurture" can counteract. I no longer feel guilty about this, because the family statistics on both sides were loaded against my (adult) kids. On the bright side, they will always be taken care of by their father and his loyal "cult." Let the healing begin and continue for us all!
I'm concerned for my former stepson. He could lie like it was nothing. Look you straight in the face and lie as if he were breathing. Even at age 9-10 he could ball his eyes out on cue, and he cared soooo much what others thought of him. One time we called him out on his crying and he just stopped instantly, like flipping a switch. I'm so glad my now ex was there to see that one. He cared so much about how others thought about him that it became this massive driving force/motivation for him to get everyone to like him. Also, when a family member died, he didn't shed any tears as far as I know, but cried all the time over minor things. Plus his mom is a narcissist and a stone cold liar, as it turns out. I love him and miss him after a year since his mom took her "toy" and walked out. But looking back on everything, I see the seeds of narcissism and am concerned for him.
I just thought of something that I never really thought about until recently, when I was a child my grandmother was the only one who ever showed pure love. I loved her so much, I still do, but when she died when I was 9 a huge part of me died as well. I have yet to feel the same kind of love from anyone on this earth except my old dog, Buck. I made this quote "I'd say that I'm just a rug to some people but a rug gets treated with more respect and dignity."
Yes, I noticed it early on in my daughter. When I divorced her father she learned how to manipulate me to get her way. She would play us against each other so that we would never communicate with each other and when I put her in preschool her teacher said she didn’t play well with the other kids. On top of the fact her father is a narcissist and was one reason why I divorced him. She is now 45 yrs old and we haven’t had a relationship for the past 3 years. Breaks my 💔
@@janebaker4912 Yes, I agree but as a mother you keep trying to be in their life. You hope they will grow out of it or that she would get help for it. She has made it clear she doesn’t want me in her life so I have to respect that. I was young (1981) when I divorced her father and didn’t even know what a narcissist was until I was 38 yrs old which was many yrs. later. Looking back now I wish I wouldn’t had agreed to joint custody, (so he wouldn’t have been around her as much) but he didn’t want to pay child support and I wanted out. I called him Satan and her Satan’s spawn to my friends before I knew there was a name for their behavior. She is my only child and I miss her but not her behavior. Thx for your comment.✌🏼💋🙏🏼
Many people who grew up in narcissistic families become good people. Damaged, but empathic and kind, prone to get abused in relationships because of a habit to put up with abuse.
I believe this! I carpooled with a 10 year old boy that would try to manipulate me on an adult level. There was something very very wrong with this kid.
I've tried my best to advice and make my narcissistic son understand and change his approach. But sadly I've failed. My prayer is that let him realise it one day and lead a happy life.
100% born that way. I shared a room with my narc sister from toddlerhood. She has traumatized my entire life. We can all sin but these people are born with inverted thinking. No amount of trauma can make a person consistently evil and soulless. Quite the opposite, we become more empathic understanding the pain of another who suffers same. I do not know how the theory of raised to be a true narcissist started but that whole idea needs to stop. Check out the work of Dr.Hare, who is a famous psychiatrist at a penitentiary who did research on the inmates. His conclusion is born that way. Christ even referred to Judas as a devil. No where in scripture does it say that childhood treatment caused this but there is mention of familial curses and demonic possession. We are warned about this kind. The bible is full of warnings and clear examples.. My “successful” family lineage is full of these asses but my parents were decent neurotypical empathetic people. My mother understood psychopathy. Couldn’t of asked for better parents. Narcs have genetic neurological disfigurations for sure.
Thank you for showing this video. I have watched your videos on narcissism and found them very informational, but I particularly like this one because it shows the "other side" of the coin, non-narcissistic parents who happen to have narcissistic children (or at least one narcissistic child). All too often, a lot of people like to blame parents for EVERYTHING, so I like it when I see videos that show BOTH sides of the situation.
It's a really sad thought for children to be like this. My little sister seemed that way as a small child, but she had her moments of showing love and compassion. I recall her crying as I read her "Where the Red Fern Grows" and we decided to stop reading it together since she was too sad. I remember having to help her clean up after bedtime accidents, but as time went on she became smug about it. Maybe it was that she was just embarrassed though. She seemed extremely self centered by adulthood. She faked cancer, harmed pets she hoarded for money and attention, etc. She eventually went on to seclude herself in my parents' basement. She's hardly left in the past 11 years and not once since Covid hit over three years ago - not to go even outside.
Sounds like maybe she is schizoid personality disorder. Either way, all these disorders are along the same continuum with different highlight. They all cause trouble.
@@selfesteem3447 I realize her struggles go beyond and NPD isn't primary issue. She's just the only person with a cluster b disorder who I knew through childhood through adulthood. I've known a couple people who are only primarily narcs. I'd guess that my mother is covert, but my father is a classic malignant narcissist. In my sister's case, I don't feel like she was destined or born to grow up to be uncaring.
I had to live with my cousins when I was a kid. They would lie on me and other people and for some strange reason they could do no wrong. Everyone always believed them. They were learning to treat me like crap from their parents though. But then I seen them treat their mom like crap too. It was a complete hell hole living there. All of them against me. I was constantly trying to figure out what I did wrong to get in trouble. But I was in trouble cuz my cousins lied. I got the worse of the abuse but when I was thrown out I think my cousins got what was heaped on me.
Very Interestinng Danish, Thank You! I'll use Myself as an Example, for No Better reason than to Shine a Light of ... Inspiration? How Does One Child Being Raised In a Family of Narc's. Grow Up to be the Only Empath? Overtly So. I'm Claiming- 4 Grandparent's, 9 Aunts and Uncles, 26 Cousins, Four Sister's... ALL Narcissists to the Very Black Soul. I Stand Alone. Still getting attacked in so Many Sick Ways even though I moved 1200+ Miles away 38 Years Ago. No Contact. That's the BEST Rule I Ever Found Out- Yet- You Know Narc's. They'll Seek and Find! Only to Blame YOU for Not Knowing your Mother Had Died 3 Months earlier. Long Story How I Found Out. In Perfect Narcissistic Language- Which I Pointed Out- It's Not MY Job to Tell You Mom Died. Oh, My Dear Sister, Spoken as the True Narcissist You ARE- YES it WAS YOUR JOB to Tell Me. You Were Named Executor of the Estate! I've NEVER been Hung Up on So Quickly in My Entire Life!!!! So How is it a Family of Evil, Spawns ONE SINGLE EMPHATIC Person?
It's because such family systems need a scapegoat, and that was you, because you had the most empathy of them all. That's why you were chosen, because they sensed you were different from them. There are recessive genes that suddenly show up out of nowhere.
I am truly unsure if she wants to heal. I think she likes being a victim because people go out of there way for her. Even if she understands empathy and shame. She also understands how to manipulate people like crazy. She's 19 now and hee behaviors toward me are much improved. She doesn't constantly gasligjt me or have angry outbursts. But she does still manipulate. So, improvement, definitely.
So what can we teach our children? Lovingly explain that yes, life has been unfair to them..as everyone accumulates trauma to some degree. But that it is ok, because as we grow we learn that our trials can lead to good, strength, peace. It is up to us to do what is right, honest, and upbuilding...regardless of our situation. And when we make a mistake, we stand up and try again. And your Dad and Mama will be there to support you in every way we can, including correction at times.
My two children with the narc, one was always a tad dark and manipulative but we still had a fairly good relationship. She would keep her personal life secret in her teens but she was, I believe, very capable of managing her emotions, was popular and did well at school. Second child was horrified by his father’s behaviour of tantrums and control up to his late teens, but once in his early twenties they worked together, 10 years later they still do regularly and Dad became an ok guy who helped him earn good money. Neither child will speak to me now I’m divorcing the narc husband and I’m often gleefully informed by him of the good times he has with them. I don’t understand it but there’s nothing I can do as they’re in their 30’s. It also means they withhold contact with grandchildren. I don’t understand it, I’m a respectable person who works hard and there’s no reason to do that.
True story : When I was 3 and my brother 5, he brought me to where my parents were storing medication and vitamin bottles. He was giving me the medication, but he was only taking vitamins. When I was 4 and my brother 6, he brought me in the basement, he wanted to break glass bottles against concrete, and asking me to go in the pile of broken glass to bring him back the unbroken pieces so he can throw them again, I fell (Don't remember what exactly happened then) in the broken glass and got a nice scar on my face because of this. When I was 5 and my brother 7, he tried to make me drink cleaning products, but was caught in time by my uncle who told him how dangerous it was, if he understood how bad it was. When I was 6 and my brother 8, he asked me to follow him in the garage, then he asked me to drink some fondue gas, which has a skull pictogram on it and "Poison" written on it. He told me "It tastes like juice, take some! I'll take some after you" so at this age I was able to understand that it was poison, so I faked to drink a bit, then handed him the bottle, told him it's his turn, but he refused and walked away like nothing happened. We're both in our thirties now, but a lot of things that happened through the years made me wonder if he's a psychopath. I could refer to a lot of weird behaviors from him over time, but he's the kind to always be polite with people, always charming, but never talks about anything related to any feelings, like asking him "How do you feel about X, Y, or Z" he's lost, never display feelings but joy, being surprised, and sometimes sudden rages, especially when he loses at a game, playing card for example if he loses he can slap everything off the table then play along as if it was just a joke. A couple years ago when our beloved grand mother was on her death bed right in front of him, no emotions at all. He has a chameleon personality, as if he was sticking others' personality to his mask just to appear normal.... Like if he's with someone who uses "O my God!" then he proceeds to use this phrase too, mirroring. He's often mimicking others. When he talks he often use words that he knows the interlocutor won't understand, like technical terms related to his domain (Computer science) or things that are related to a particular TV series, then if the other doesn't know what he's talking about he goes "What!?!? You don't know that? It's lacking to your culture" He like to judge people based on their "lack of knowledge". I recently asked him about when we were young when he was trying to make me drink the fondue gas, I asked him "Why did you do this?" He told me there was no reason, it was not for revenge or anything. I asked him "When is the last time you did something like this?" then he told me "What!?!? I would never do that! Do you think I'm a poisoner?" Then I say to him "No I trust that your consciousness evolved and you're not". Then he says with a smirk on his face "But maybe I'm lying". So, I think I have a psychopathic brother, but he's smart and very good at manipulation and at putting up a "normal" mask made of bribes of other people's personality. So now I'm unable to have normal discussions with him without wondering if he's faking interest, lying, or trying to manipulate. Am I crazy or all of this is not normal at all?
What you describe about your brother's behavior and patterns is truly scary. Trust your instincts, your experience, your memories, your knowledge. You know. You have been through what you have been through and you have seen what you have seen. Keep your distance and protect your family from your brother. Maybe to "keep the peace" you can maintain a shallow relationship with him, but please never trust him, especially with people and things dear to you, and always remain on your guard🙏 Best luck to you!
It's hard to imagine the amount of anxiety these thoughts can induce... Up to recently I never really did research about narcissism/psychopathy/sociopathy. I also didn't know about his attempts to make me eat medics and the attempt to make me drink cleaner before recently. He told me these 2 things when I asked him "What's the worst thing you ever did to someone else?" Thinking he would tell me about the fondue gas thing (That I remember vividly) So then I started to wonder if he tried to do the same to my other siblings or parents. It's only then that I asked him when's the last time he did something like this... My sister got an untreatable auto immune disease, I do too, my mother got cancer when I was 12. Leaving me wondering if he could be the cause. Not easy to deal with, all the family is seeing him as a good person too.... Not many things I can do but being cautious, put cameras on, watching for anything suspect, almost making me paranoid... I asked my siblings if he ever tried to make them take anything that's not supposed to be consumed, they said no, but my brain makes so many scenarios, it's draining mentally. It brings a lot of anxiety, it's almost debilitating sometimes. Before doing research I thought he was probably not thinking much about it at the time, I was considering his weird behaviors just as a coping mechanism because he was probably not feeling good about himself so he would mimic others just to be accepted in the group and boost his confidence a bit, never thought further than that, but when I put everything together I get a strong intuition that he's a psychopath, with covert narcissistic traits. He's not the grandiose type, he's more of a loner, but he's acting extraverted when in public, he seems to care, he's a good actor I think. I feel like talking about that to anyone would put a "crazy" label on me, especially for those who are convinced he's a goo guy. It's like a lose lose situation no matter what I could do. I'll probably die young from stress
@@Just-Ice271 Consider cutting ties or at least minimizing your interactions with him, for your own sake and mental health. Let people think of your brother what they want; you've done your part of warning them/making them aware of the situation. People with such condition can be very deceitful... Please focus on healing yourself and your trauma, and reach out for professional help (specialized in narcisstic/sociopathic/psychopathic abuse). You're not crazy and deserve a happy and stress-free life!!🌷
@@Betulaaah Many things you're saying resonate with me. I also figured the best thing I could do is tell my brother I don't think he's like I think he is. That's why I told him "No I trust that your consciousness evolved and you're not" when he said "What!?!? I would never do that! Do you think I'm a poisoner?" ... I don't want him to think I'm suspecting him of still being the same, but my intuition is telling me otherwise. He's probably not causing physical harm, but he sure still is manipulative, lying, mimicking people, gaslighting. It's like he doubled effort to mask and mimic empathic actions since then. I have a hard time faking to be sympathetic though so I'm not friendly most of the times with him, just neutral, trying to not talk for too long it's draining my energy... But I told him if he ever finds I have a bad attitude it's just because of my depression and asked him to take nothing personally because it wasn't... Well I lied there but it's ideal I think too. After talking to my sister, she asked my brother "Are you capable of empathy?" even if I told her that it would be better to not talk about it at all... Then my mother got the memo, and what she said is that it demolished him when my sister asked him this question... Thing is his attitude here in the apartment never changed so I think he faked it. When I told my sister about that, she answered with something that troubled me a bit more : Once, when my brother was drunk, he slipped his hands on her breast, both hands. Since then she has a hard time to show any sign of affection to him. When talking to my other brother (Let's say brother 2), he told me that it happened a couple times that brother 1 had flirty behavior with brother 2's exes. Regarding seeking for help, it's a fight in itself. I'm from a poor family, I worked most of my life but since the burn out my mental state is simply not there for finding a job (Then add the typical judgements "No work? You lazy." But well, not that it affects me much compared to everything else). So with the public system, I was put on a 2 years waiting list to see a psychotherapist, but I had to report every week to a social worker. I missed 2 calls so they removed me from the list 1 year after. Now I'd have to reapply and wait 2 years, or go in the private sector but I can't afford. I found an organism that could maybe help with low cost psychological support, that's my next step I forgot to say, after University my brother didn't find work, so my dad did rent an apartment in the basement of his home to him. After my burn out I couldn't afford anymore to pay for my own place so I moved in the same apartment with him. It doesn't help. Maybe it's the first thing I should work on : Moving out of there.... But then I need a job, or a way to make money. No employer would want to hire me with my actual state of mind, and faking that everything is fine, I did it long enough, I'm not able anymore, it would sure show in any interview I get, and I'm already stressed a lot if I add new job to that without first finding tools to heal my brain, I'm not sure I can handle more stress. Sorry for these long texts, kind of going therapy mode in a comment section on youtube... Might not be ideal but it helps to get others' opinion on this, it helps to remove doubts that I might be the one who's crazy. Trying to cope with stress by taking walks in the woods, breathing exercises, meditation, playing music, but when anxiety kicks in, and it's always coming back, it's destructive, irregular breathing, by the thorax, shoulders high and tense, high stress, abdominal pain, insomnia and cold sweat. Watching Buddhists' videos about acceptance recently helped in my meditation, it's fun you talk about that, I found this technic just a couple days ago, and it helps bring down anxiety when it rushes in from nowhere. Thank you for your input, it's very appreciated both you and @Titpomderen8
@@Just-Ice271that's a lot, and glad you shared. I've been able to 75% deal with anxiety thru breathe, breathing techniques. Please read on different methods and I believe it will immediately help you. 🤝🫂
It's not always the parents who are responsible... Sometimes you get influenced by your surroundings.. Like watching TV serials and thinking that the manipulative and multifaced character are cool
Yes, I do believe it was learned or heavily influenced by a narcissistic guardian. My mother is a narcissist and my son was her golden grandchild up until her control and manipulation lost its grip on him. He was taught to be abusive (literally). Since we have moved away and severed ties he is slowly starting to see that she has a mental problem and is overcoming the brainwashing. But I don’t expect him to recover overnight. He is reluctant to attend therapy. But I do see the old loving boy he once was slowly reemerging.
Oh yes, my son would not study, school even had him tested, "Not up to his potential" said doctor, @ 15 he put himself in the physch-ward to get out of exams and I said as much to them (oh no what's big pharma going to do?), and so not so said the docs, psychotic episode (aka smoked a joint) even gave him an on "Stage" doc, (huh?)! I told my son "If you don't come home with me they're going to lock you up and put you on meds", he didn't come home with me, I got him out a few days later. 3 yrs of court, lawyers ($) and he got out of his self-inflicted narc mode. He's now a nurse! I let him be his own train wreck, it was the only way!
My daughter was under a narcissist father. But she was also confused whom to follow. Whenever there was a showdown, she always was at loggerheads with her father. Before she left the house, she told me to come along with her and we both can live a peaceful life. Now that she has moved out. She makes it a point to speak to me. But when she comes home and sees me in a dull mood, she holds herself responsible and takes out that self anger on me. I don't know how to handle this situation, because I feel as long as she is around I want to spend happy moments with her.
I think I was on the way to become a narcissist. They took me away from my mother right after birth for medical reasons, but being without physical contact for six weeks messed me up. Up to this day, I don’t expect anyone to be there for me. I have to brave it out alone. But my mom taught me compassion and empathy when I was a kindergartener, so I didn’t become an evil person at least.
Sounds like you could have been on your way to becoming narcissistic but if you are able to reason your thinking like you are then you cannot be. A narc cannot escape their disease. Not with love, understanding, patience, or time. That devil needs to be cast out.
Ok, those with traits and good core can be saved if the parent become aware if their own disfunctions, otherwise the good hearted one can easiky end being the scape goat and later on borderline. Those with malignant core from birth are the list one that will manipulate their own unaware barcissistic manipulative parents so to bond with them and get all what their brattjness desires ending to be the Golden Child and next main narcissist when the parent will die. Attention though to the compensative dynamic of the scape goat at home becoming the narcissist at work!! Awareness and self awareness are the keys.. Personally experienced my sis as malignant narcissist and can say she was like that since in the crib, has never being corrected as my mother was since than starting to follow her family pattern, and so spoiled my sis is the great narc she is now. Not easy yo recover when your full famly has been stolen from you by this demon, cause yes I am firmely convinced at spiritual level this to be demoniac
You are not lying or exaggerating. For years, from childhood to grown-adult-parent. Have never apologized. Regard themselves as invincible. Taken, wasted with no regard. Believing no one knows. If we do, what are we going to do about it? Easy, don't talk to me about anything. "But, you're my brother". Over $1 mil ago, it did not matter. Be happy w/ what you 2 have. I gave my parents. I helped feed them. I helped them make major decisions. I chose not to harm them or drop out of school. It served me well. From single digit age. Yet, I pray for them. Marines & Air Force.
I believe the longer you stay in the narcissistic relationship especially the mother is the narcissist and especially the child spends more time with narcissistic mother, the child more likely to be come a narcissist. However, if there is a discard from non-narcissist father to narcissistic mother. The father does everything right by providing love, caring, and kindness to the child, most likely the child will be normal or regulated. Therefore, it is crucial for the child not to spend most of their time with the narcissistic mother. Also good to get rid of the narcissistic spouse or partner permanently for the sakes of the children. The longer the narcissistic relationship is the worst outcome for the children especially with the narcissistic mother.
I have several children and at sometime or other they all show narcissistic behaviors. One of them, their overtly narcissistic paternal grandfather's favorite, showed a lot of narcissistic traits. After he passed and she began to get old enough to reason I was able to point out her poisonous actions and how to change them. She also wanted her siblings to include her, but had to change in order for them to be able to include her. Another one was my little boy who was his covert narcissistic paternal aunt's favorite. He would treat his older brother(a year and a half older) like trash and got really heady with me. I quit allowing her to watch him and his brother and he has gone back to being a sweet boy. His older brother looks like my side of the family while he looks like his father's side. This particular aunt has a lot of trouble with me which is why I believe she subconsciously started pitting them one against the other. I know another child who is narcissistic, one of their cousins on the same family side. She is permitted to be the way she is by her parents. They always believe her and when she wants her way she gives them whatever sob story will pull their heart strings so they will give her her way. I know they love her, but they do not see that they are making a monster out of her!
I thank you so much, Danish for your words of inspiration and wisdom. I, through the grace of the gods, had been able to see the narcissistic abuse I was experiencing from my spouse and have just come out of a long, expensive, painful divorce. I was blessed with 3 children but have been fighting to limit the amount of custody that their narcissistic father has with them. I am trying so hard to help them heal as well as trying to help myself. I just don't know if both of my teen girls can be saved, or if only one can. I don't want to give up on them and pray every day for their healing. My youngest, my son, has the fewest narc tendencies and rules with his heart but unfortunately has the most parenting time with his father because he "doesn't want Daddy to be all alone". 😢
Thank you so much danish😊😊 u make me take breath.. I always worried about my child but, with this vedio I came to know my child is not narc because he z showing remorse ,he says sorry for commiting wrong nd he loves me alot... Thanqq
? When did I first notice the little girl who I was born along side of, who I shared birth - space with, who I made mud - pies with, who I shared the toilet seat with as little girls when our behinds were oh so narrow... my identical twin sister,... who was NEVER NOT A COMPLETE STRANGER to me. It's as if, I kid you not, I sware my soul knew it before I was able to actually be able to pick out valid signs as to how she was dead and cold on the inside, having no feelings for me/no care for me. Here is the first things I remember.... When I first had a feeling she was evil, was as 4 year olds playing in the dirt as we uncovered a bright red long root. We both simultaneously called it the "devils finger" and hurriedly covered it back up. I then at that very moment had a thought "I hope she doesn't turn out evil" (WHAT ?) This is what I now refer to how I say "my soul KNEW" bc even at that very moment as a lil kid I was asking myself "why would I say/think such a thing, where out in left field would I get a thought like that, why would I pick up on a feeling or thought about her like that" ? Next signal or sign was when we transitioned to leaving our mom's side to go to Kindergarten, as our narc 💩👺 🤡 "father" had long since been threatening mass murder suicide upon the family, (not to mention a laundry list of all forms of abuse too). I was separated from "being able to protect my mom" (who I now know my mom to have been (she died in 2012) a codependent very low level narcissist herself). My response, in my terrorized child mind and overwhelmed self was to cry all day at Kindergarten. What told me something was wrong with my twin sister? It was, she NEVER had any compassion for me crying. She would constantly tell me to SHUT UP. And I get it, it must have been very annoying to be alongside me, w/my constant crying but for her to have never had a single moment of compassion for me INCLUDING her not sharing in my terror of also being worried for our mom, told me something was very very wrong w/ her. The next thing was she developed a habit of hitting me in my head HARD,...my skull would be PAINFULLY penetrated, ...had to of hurt her fist. This was usually done for something I hadn't really done anything wrong for/to CONTROL ME, And it became a habit, I could expect to continue. When I tried to express to my mom what she was doing to me, she would fake crying like I had done something to her and my mom would buy it. I formed a plan, the next time she hit me like that I would hit her in the head just like she hit me. Well,... She showed me. When I did as such, she came at me tenfold and hit me in the head 10 times harder than ever, showing me that I would never be doing that again. This is when she started showing me who she really was. This is the person I've always known to have her have been to me. And this is the psychopath I now still know her to be today WHO I HAVE BEEN IN NO CONTACT with for many years AND I WILL NEVER AGAIN be in contact with. The lasr I heard about her recently is, she is living a miserable life and her kids are well aware their mom is a psychopath and narcissist and are FED UP w/her.
Danish, I believe I am the parent of such an adult child. Until just recently I had thought it was just my ex Narc husband having undue influence on my middle son, or that he was "getting inside of his head" and basically abusing me by proxy. Now I'm not so sure. My son is 29. When he was starting puberty, roughly 13, 14 years old he was having these terrible violent outbursts. Violent rhetoric, tantrums, cursing, impulsive behavior, etc. This was also during the time our divorce was going on (it took 18 months). It kept getting worse. I was worried maybe he was bi-polar or my secret fear was that he was being abused by someone. We sent him to a psychiatrist, and a therapist. We had to physically carry him out of the house to go to these sessions. Screaming, cursing, kicking, etc. Therapists said no he wasn't bi-polar. He was just "depressed". Later he was substance abusing. Marijuana, alcohol, possibly cough medicine, smoking, things he was not getting from our home - - he went to other kids houses, etc to get these things. Fast forward. He still has issues with substances, and he says he has anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation - - so I am kind of stuck in this state of worry constantly about him. He will go long periods of no contact, then when he makes contact again it's almost like love bombing or fawning, then picking some sort of argument, and calling me crazy, then not talking to me for a big chunk of time. So I don't know. His father is in my opinion quite a sadistic narcissist, who wears many masks. HIs biggest mask is that he's a loving family man, and I am a crazy person who never wanted a family. My son talks to me like this a lot. On the one had he says you were the best Mom ever, on the other he says you never wanted your children. So I am confused. Is he possibly bi-polar, or is he feigning the depression, anxiety to control me? I live in another state with my new husband. All of my children are adults. I see them most of the time once or twice a year. With this child, sometimes he won't even see us when we come to visit.
Golden Children are narcissists and will likely stay narcissists. Even though children shouldn't be called narcissists because they may change when they have more freedom, if you see a Golden Child... and it's being a narcissist.... it will likely stay that way.
That position can be interchangeable tho. I was the GC and I got dethroned to scapegoat when I realized smth was off and started calling her out. (mom). 🤷♀️...it can happen anytime.
I've just come to realize that I am the parent of a narcissistic son. He's grown now, with children of his own. I haven't seen him or his wife or my five grandchildren in 8 years, but he called me ince a week until about 2 1/2 years ago. I really didn't see signs of this as he was growing up. I shared some information with him that he didn't like or agree with, so he's been nasty to me ever since. He's made a number of accusations toward me, which he never did before. I've just learned about narcissism over the last couple of years, so maybe I didn't see it in him. I felt peace with him though, where I didn't feel peace with his father. His father didn't have anything to do with him after our divorce, but I think my son kept trying to have a relationship with his father and may have succeeded in contacting him. If so, that would mean he's had 8 years of his father's influence in his life. Also, my son's father-in-law is definitely a narcissist. He's also been around his influence. Can an adult child become narcissistic later in life or did I just miss the signs, like I did early on with his father? Earlier, right after the divorce, my son complimented me for being a single mother because his father was never there for him, but I was. This is shocking to say the least!!!
7:40 same! 4th grade girl, new in school, jwish, took a mousy blonde shy girl and groomed her to be her golem or right hand man. very assertive, aggressive, sexual even . very smart but i was smartest in the class. i loved that year learned a lot
Has anybody ever noticed that there also can be other neurological disorders attached to psychopathy in general? Hearing problems, vision problems, problems with gait or coordination, learning difficulties? I have been observing this from the kids whose parents or parents was a narc.
When the child is placed on daycare while both parents work is a recipy for disaster. I as a mother bought into the concept of career and using "top rated" childcare facilities. When I found my 3 year old being abused on site the management instead of addressing the staff issue launched a full scale smear and gang-stalking campaign against me. This child got locked into 'fright or flight' mode, lost all trust, lost the ability to read and concentrate, went mute in any social situation outside the house, began fantasy lies. Because she lost the ability to concentrate and speak she was harangued by teachers on the classroom and was targeted by bullies all way through primary and secondary school. The worst perpatrator was a veru basic middle aged nun with grandiose attitude who literally turned the whole convent school into a gang stalking inferno involving flying monkey staff and opportunistic students and parents in the community. It was inbelievable. Now, the child is a 21 year old with extreme narcisstic tendencies and I am literally her survival enabler as you describe in one of your videos. She takes me to the point of literally extinguishing her life if i dont intervene to rescue her from mindless behaviours.
@@benji4330 from what I know, based on the information thus far on NPD their false self is created during childhood and thus they have arrested development issues.
I grew up with a psychopathic narcissist. I was surprised her husband was still alive after he divorced her. Her parents were narcissists too. He dad was downright psychotic. He set my parent's front porch on fire because his wife came to our house to get away from him. My parents didn't know it was him who set the fire until his wife told my parents years later. His daughter was a female chuckie as a child. She even had red hair like Chuckie.
Yes , when I took my cousin to the park , it was 6 year old narcissist running with a pack of others just as themselves unapologetic , disrespectful, filthy mouthed at such a young age I’ve seen it
Omg that story you told about your female classmate. Damn i had a friend like that in sch too. She'd start crying wolf the minute things dont go her way and when teachers would ask her she would implicate the person she wanted to target. (like pinching herself)
Daycare breeds them. The earlier they start daycare full time, the higher the chance they will develop narcissistic personality disorder. Children need emotionally healthy environments to develop healthy minds. Daycare will never be that kind of environment.
Short answer,yes. Lord Of The Flies. But there's more to it than that,right? Genetics,generational narcissistic abuse are big ones but in personal experience I saw it go hand in hand with ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). Both by age 7,definite tendencies but also having a neglectful NPD mom didn't help. Poor kid. Decades later,it's progressed to malignant narcissm with sociopathic tendencies. Now,it's her kids,either a flying monkey or a polyanna. They are both empathic but she has done everything to derail their good hearts. Pure evil at this point. Good luck sorting things out,everyone. Good site, thanks!
I believe trauma can cause the brain to develop differently and become more evil or good with influences, as God states he gave All his creation a “free will”. This is why God made it easy to come home, by believing on Jesus, in your mind and heart, you choose to change your behavior and God can heal you. The starting point is believing ❤ Shalom Shalom
Hi, I have a 16y son, who seems to have narcissistic traits. But i am still confused whether he is beyond recovery or not. He behaves in a mixed way. Can't decide when he is showing his true self. Need help with him
I knew a few of these children, at 7 years old at the elementary school a girl with other 2 bullied me and I hided behind a tree and scared the free time to play because of them. All of them where daughters of rich families of the zone. Also, a very disturbed kid at the age of 9 in another school tried to sexually herass me in the toilet and I managed to escape. He revenged at the higher grade school, when I tried to change class (he was there in my class) and the teachers said they didn't want to discriminate a child, giving him the chance to say sorry and recover. Result? In summer he tried to strangulate me in the summer camp with the school. Nobody protected me with the excuse he was in a disfunctional family and he was only a child.
Children imitate adults they admire and are drawn to, therefore they can behave in a narcisistic way and psychologists claim that all teenagers display narcisistic traits to some extent. We can not diagnose children as their personality is still developing. If the narcisistic traits are still present in a young adult at the age of about 25 then we can diagnose their disorders.
Make sure there aren’t other underlying MH issues. A kid who is AUDHD (autistic/ADHD), for example can almost seem like the second example. And their narcissistic parent will often do all they can to avoid a diagnosis or treatment - using it for their own purposes. It’s horrible to see. Horrible.
My stepson is a narcissistic child beyond hope. His mom, grandmothers his mom's mom, and my sister-in-law are the narcissistic people including his stepdad. She hides the kid from friends and family so he can not talk to them. he told me two years ago at age 10 how he would kill me like Chucky did the girl. The killer doll Chucky. He's called me filthy names. His mom disobeys court orders and does what she wants to. I feel he is beyond hope. I have my Psychology Degree and it saddens me that she does this to him.
He’s not ok. He treated you like an object. He objectified you instead of humanizing you. You will be psychologically messed up from this somehow. Keep researching personality disorders. Look at the DSM-5 there are three categories: A, B and C. Some people can have traits from many of these categories mixing and matching. Your dad was a psychopath and might have been mixed with other stuff. That means that there is going to be a genetic component that may or may not have been passed down to you or that was given to you in varying degrees. See, genetically, some genes can be turned on or remain off giving varying degrees of the disorder. You might be Borderline in some degree because Borderline has categories as well. Plus some Borderlines are co-morbid ( that means co-occurring ) with NPD/psychopathy and that kind is hard to recover from.
TAROTBOT1111 with a tarot card reading for TAURUS. Taurus, are you involved somehow with a Scorpio? [Cards]: Eight of Baskets, STRENGTH, MISS IDA. READING: a child has seen things they cannot unsee under the guardianship of a parent and his girlfriend.... -😽
Link to my best resources:
linktr.ee/narcabusecoach
OK thanks dear🥰
I'm just starting the video, but I wanted to drop a big, warm THANK YOU!!! Thank you for all your work, resources, heart, mind, personality, time, and videos!!! Also, I love the fresh cut and style today! As always, you are so handsome, BUT above all and most importantly, your mind, heart, soul, and spirit SHINES so brightly, my brother! ❤️🔥 Much love from a sister, who is in Christ, praying for you and your family to come to know (or to already know) Jesus as Lord and Savior for His plans and purposes for you on earth and the way more impactful eternity soon coming for us all! I pray blessings, protection, strength, endurance, peace, and joy for you, in Jesus' name, Amen! 🙌✝️🐑🦁👑💯💞🙏🤝
As a person who had to deal with bullies as a kid, yes. Yes they can.
Kids aren't innocent. That's one reason I'm a South Park fan. Matt Stone and Trey Parker pretty much said they were sick of kids being treated as innocent and pure hearted in sitcoms. So they created a show with kids who weren't.
I didn't know that. Thanks for sharing. We need to unteach😊 it.
That's why I love them (Matt and Trey) ❤️
Yes, kids are not innocent at all. I see it in one of my stepsons.
Never watched South Park, but interesting, nonetheless. Hmmmm......
There is the primary narcissism, and children are innocent, because they are young and have few abstract skills and very short life experience.
What really needs to be addressed in lawful society is the potential brain damage that occurs in children during development. For example, when the narcissistic parent divorces and alienates to inflict more harm on the child and the child no longer has protection from an abusive family dynamic.
Brain damage? What does this mean?
@@TroubleActual PTSD, C-PTSD, Hippocampus shrinkage
@@TroubleActual Studies have shown narc abuse changes our brains, Specifically the Amygdala is smaller. Other things too, that's just one detail.
I'm in this situation right I have 4 kids with the narc , and I know there is emotional abuse so I tell the truth and what there Dad is without name calling and putting him down he is slim of the worst being open transparent compassion but firm on your conviction so they can think for themselves and know there is alot of Narc around so I point out this is something you have to learn about people I make it a life lesson on everyday people and life
@@tracyProverbs31 I can't think of any better way of informing loved ones. 🥰❤️🩹
Personality disorders develops very early so kids should be monitored while they still can be corrected. In society however narcissistic behaviors get rewarded and the narcissistic kid learns quickly he has power over others.
As an empath I was bullied by narcissistic classmate and her flying monkeys. At that time I've thought it's because I am shy etc.
Later I've realized she was jealous of many things and one of them was me genuinely seeing good in others, I didn't have hate towards anybody, I had good intentions and that's something narcs aren't capable of which I've learned much later in life.
I believe it triggered her, bc she saw the unspoken difference between me and her. Narcs feel disconnected no matter how friends they have.
Exactly. They feel so empty and disconnected.
✔️💯
I think they learn narcissism at a young age. My narc ex had the symptoms as a small child. Ok with stealing: He’d steal quarters from his grandmother to go play video games (this was in the 80s). Manipulation: He had asthma and he’d fake asthma attacks to get out of school. Bullying: He bullied his supposed best friend about his weight. These are just a few.
Sounds a lot like my ex.
Sounds like he was just sharpening his skills of manipulation as he grew.
Yes I believe so, even though we all start life as a narcissist but with the lifelong psychopaths it's in their DNA.
That UK baby killer nurse (7 babies and now some parents coming forward with their kids' near misses) felt/incapable of feeling remorse, said doc and it's in her DNA! Pretty weird, it's her way of getting off, pretty sick! Docs who red flagged her got criticized, an earlier whistle blower doc had to write her a letter of apology even, imagine!
@@joseenoel8093What!?
True, it is in their DNA they are dangerous
Yes, my narcissistic mother had my younger sister as the golden child and teached her how to control and manipulate others, my sister is a narcissist just like my NM, so it is something that is taught by the narcissistic parent very early on, she would send my sister with me everywhere so that my sister can tell her what I was doing or also to compete with me, when I went to get my driving test she sent my sister, when I went to nursing school she sent my sister, when I would tell my NM I wanted to buy a certain item guess who would end up buying it my sister!! It is hell to live with a narcissistic mother and then she puts your siblings against you, so yes children learn to be narcissist because the narcissistic parent is molding them to be the same! I'm so happy I went no contact with my covert narcissistic mother and dysfunctional family. Never ever trust the narcissistic parent or their flying monkeys. My narcissistic mother also got me a diary when I was younger then it went missing so she took it to find out my business you have no privacy with a narcissistic parent. Stay woke people they are everywhere!
I believe so. The same ways that I got bullied by narc children in middle and high school are also happening by the narc adults in my workplace.
My son’s father,grandmother, aunt are all narcs.
I had to grieve the loss of my own child although he is still alive. It was painful but it was the best decision ever!
😢😢😢😢
Born that way. Not your fault.
My answer is YES. I dealt with a narcissistic jealous female child in the early 2000s to late 2010’s with her controlling, abusive behavior. Now looking back she was a narcissistic sociopathic child to young teen who LOVED to set me up for humiliation when we were growing up. It was highly traumatic for me on top of being raised by a narcissistic mother. I’m starting to heal now at 25 since the pandemic!
For quite a long time I went to a therapist, trying to understand the insanity of my family. She told me that if I could look back into the past, I would find examples of ancestors exactly like I was dealing with inthis life. She was correct! I tried repeatedly to get my child to go with me to therapy to work out and understand. Always refused, same as the narc father. A narcisstic child is the greatest hurt I have ever experienced. They re-write a fictious history abt things that never even happened. Everything in their life is your fault! And they marry people just like them. I finf most children of narcs will work hard as empaths to never repeat parental mistakes. Some how it really serms to be in the dna.
I totally agree with you ! , this is more deeper than we could even imagine , that’s what a lot of people must understand
Definately. Looking back I think it can be seen as young as 7 or 8. There's certain point where a certain amount of decency and empathy has developed in normal kids. It doesn't happen for narcissists and they haven't learned to hide it yet.
Late in life I married into a narcissist family! I was surrounded by narcissists!😢 Thank you Danish!!
It's everywhere.
Yes! My 22yr old son is definitely a malignant narcissist as well as some other mental illnesses! I became a widow/single mom of 2 kids when I was only 33yrs old. The absolute devastation of losing my husband (their father) has taken a massive toll on all 3 of us. My son has always dealt with mental disorders since he was 3yrs old; way before losing his father. We’ve had him not only on medication but also he’s has always seen a psychiatrists and therapists regularly from 6yrs old to 16 yrs old. He was 11 yrs old when he lost his dad and my daughter was 4 yrs old.
I dedicated myself whole heartedly to my children after our loss! I’m STILL single. I wanted to be there for my kids every step of the way because of what we’ve been through! I felt it was my job (and I still do) to be the example of navigating through life no matter what life throws at you. Figure out solutions and deal with things head on and not taking the easy way out! Working hard to overcome obstacles together!
Well, when my son turned 14-15 he started to be very abusive towards me verbally, mentally and emotionally!! I’m so scared of him know!! My daughter is scared of him too. I had to cut him out of my life. He’s very very dangerous!!
Born that way. Not your fault.
You sound like a fabulous mom. You did everything right, I love how you got him help.
Take, for example, the kid who is born with a deformed arm or hand, etc etc...
Then it's easy to realize something can go wrong in the brain.
you sound like a narcissist on a smear campaign. I hope he never speaks to you.
Sadly YES! Narcissim has a genetic component and those children have a tendency to be very manipulative to say the least. She was very insidious in her covert tactics from a very young age yet she ALWAYS would get her way buldozing her father, cousins, anybody on that side of the family whom she was raised to hate. It's unbelievably sick coming from a 5yr old! Your tye 2 exactly describes her, even at a young age, she would do unspeakable things with no remorse whatsoever but demanded her needs are met on the spot, if not hell breaks lose! However maybe with good parenting, they can be raised to be less harmful or even balanced adults. This is hardly the case when a parent is a narcissist and when they're used as weapons in the alienation game after the inevitable divorce. Some of them turn out to be even more toxic than the toxic parent. This is exactly what happened to my husband's daughter from his narcissistic ex. Much needed topic and thanks for covering this Danish. God bless you for shining the light on truth and helping many!
Who is "she"? You sound very vague.
There is no context in your descriptions, therefore you can't be trusted just for your words alone.
5 is quite young. Narcissistic personality disorder can be diagnosed only after 18
Yep. Mine too. But I worked incredibly hard to get her help and eventually she has become a much milder narcissist. She has a real understanding of empathy and that her behavior impacts others.
I think my step daughter is a narcissist too. Just like her mum
It’s physical and spiritual genetics and epigenetics. Change is possible but most won’t choose change.
Yes - if they’re raised by narcissist adults as early as 5 years old- and especially if they have the temperament of a narcissist from birth (genes )
Yes because for those of us who were raised in it, we witnessed it. Also, back in the 1950’s or so, the child psychologists, who were studying childhood behavior, were supposed to vet out children coming from dysfunctional homes and often times they made their analysis first and then later discovered that that child came from misbehaved parents and they would not change their findings because the work was already done. So personality disordered children got into the mix and their bad behavior was deemed as, “ normal “ childhood behavior because they didn’t want to redo the tests.
Hmmmm... interesting. I believe you.
@johanna006,
It’s not impossible. I took a basic psychology course, in community college. We were shown films of these tests. I saw children, the same age, go into a room, by themselves, with cameras, where they were tasked to do something. Now, if every single one of those children did every single thing the same. Then yes, it would be impossible. But guess what? Different children did different things, PROVING that it’s not impossible! And THIS IS WHY THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO VET THEM OUT FROM DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES. And I must have saw a film where they failed to vet them out properly hence, how I have this idea. Because you have to have controls in any experiment. So there’s probably A LOT wrong with generalizations on childhood behavior due to faulty testing! And then being lazy and not scratching the project and starting over because of being funded for a large amount for the experiment and being dishonest.
Do you know that there’s a lot of dishonesty in the world? I just watched a show on a serial killer, who was a nurse. He killed hundreds of patients. The hospitals were figuring it out but then would send him on his way with good referrals just so that they wouldn’t get sued so he murdered with impunity! So yes, yes it’s possible when you are already dealing with a corrupt world!
Can children be narcissistic? ABSOLUTELY! But I don’t think children can officially be diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder until they’re 18. How many of these children are true narcissists versus the amount of them who are being bratty, immature, little sh*ts of teenagers is debatable. Those children are definitely worth keeping an eye on. If a parent sees a child with these negative personality traits, it’s probably best to get the child some therapy early in an attempt to stop further trouble later on. If a parent doesn’t do something to curb narcissistic tendencies in their children early, that child is going to be a handful as an adult.
Borderlines can be diagnosed early if they are cutting or if they have an eating disorder. So they will be lucky and get treatments whereas the others will not due to this stupid rule.
Parents are going to need to be informed of this, somehow, so that they can start getting books, such as the one Danish recommended, and act accordingly.
So...we wait til they're 18 adult to work with them? I'm confused
@briannesbitt5907,
Well, a child that displays psychopathic traits gets a different diagnosis, a different term, given to him so that he does not get the stigma of psychopath and because, apparently, it is thought that they can outgrow these behaviors.
Oh ok, they call it, conduct disorder:
Symptoms of ASPD begin in childhood or adolescence, but when children show serious signs of antisocial behavior, they are diagnosed instead with conduct disorder.
I'm a teacher and had a sociopathic 7th grade student once. Sometimes you just know.
Now he's in prison for robbing local stores at gunpoint.
There is a scripture that reads, "They go astray from the womb." Psalm 58:3 The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
Thank you, I've been looking for scriptures and what to do with a narcissistic child.
My brother inlaw and his wife are a narcissistic couple. I've already noticed many narcissistic traits displayed by their son... I have 3 sons myself all around his age, and the difference is obvious 😮💨
This is consistent with the bible Rom 1:
29 having been filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips,
30 slanderers, haters of God, violent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,
31 without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful;
When a child is put into the care of narcissists they take on their behaviors. It's sad but these kids morph very quickly... 😥
Not always, it depends a lot on the genetics and also, if the parents train the child to be an empath by scapegoating it. Many children raised in narcissistic families are the opposite of narcissistic.
Thank you Danish. I'm about to watch this but YES! The DSM is not always thorough as you have pointed out in previous videos. And children have inherited certain traits, "nature", that no amount of "nurture" can counteract. I no longer feel guilty about this, because the family statistics on both sides were loaded against my (adult) kids. On the bright side, they will always be taken care of by their father and his loyal "cult." Let the healing begin and continue for us all!
I'm concerned for my former stepson.
He could lie like it was nothing. Look you straight in the face and lie as if he were breathing.
Even at age 9-10 he could ball his eyes out on cue, and he cared soooo much what others thought of him. One time we called him out on his crying and he just stopped instantly, like flipping a switch. I'm so glad my now ex was there to see that one.
He cared so much about how others thought about him that it became this massive driving force/motivation for him to get everyone to like him.
Also, when a family member died, he didn't shed any tears as far as I know, but cried all the time over minor things.
Plus his mom is a narcissist and a stone cold liar, as it turns out.
I love him and miss him after a year since his mom took her "toy" and walked out. But looking back on everything, I see the seeds of narcissism and am concerned for him.
I just thought of something that I never really thought about until recently, when I was a child my grandmother was the only one who ever showed pure love. I loved her so much, I still do, but when she died when I was 9 a huge part of me died as well. I have yet to feel the same kind of love from anyone on this earth except my old dog, Buck. I made this quote "I'd say that I'm just a rug to some people but a rug gets treated with more respect and dignity."
Yes, I noticed it early on in my daughter.
When I divorced her father she learned how to manipulate me to get her way.
She would play us against each other so that we would never communicate with each other and when I put her in preschool her teacher said she didn’t play well with the other kids.
On top of the fact her father is a narcissist and was one reason why I divorced him.
She is now 45 yrs old and we haven’t had a relationship for the past 3 years. Breaks my 💔
It's tragic. I'm so sorry ☹💛 But a relationship with them comes at such a cost. Their demons make it impossible.
It's better for your health to not have her in your life
@@janebaker4912 Yes, I agree but as a mother you keep trying to be in their life.
You hope they will grow out of it or that she would get help for it.
She has made it clear she doesn’t want me in her life so I have to respect that.
I was young (1981) when I divorced her father and didn’t even know what a narcissist was until I was 38 yrs old which was many yrs. later.
Looking back now I wish I wouldn’t had agreed to joint custody, (so he wouldn’t have been around her as much) but he didn’t want to pay child support and I wanted out.
I called him Satan and her Satan’s spawn to my friends before I knew there was a name for their behavior.
She is my only child and I miss her but not her behavior.
Thx for your comment.✌🏼💋🙏🏼
@@caroleminke6116 I’m so sorry to hear about your brother and your niece.
I hope the counseling helps your nieces mother.✌🏼💋🙏🏼
I am so sorry you have to go through this.
They're exposed to Narcissm at home
Which they're growing up in the environment with Narcissists 😢
Many people who grew up in narcissistic families become good people. Damaged, but empathic and kind, prone to get abused in relationships because of a habit to put up with abuse.
YES my teenage daughter had to learn an extremely hard lesson from a mean girl friend who is a narcissist
I believe this! I carpooled with a 10 year old boy that would try to manipulate me on an adult level. There was something very very wrong with this kid.
I've tried my best to advice and make my narcissistic son understand and change his approach. But sadly I've failed. My prayer is that let him realise it one day and lead a happy life.
100% born that way. I shared a room with my narc sister from toddlerhood. She has traumatized my entire life. We can all sin but these people are born with inverted thinking. No amount of trauma can make a person consistently evil and soulless. Quite the opposite, we become more empathic understanding the pain of another who suffers same. I do not know how the theory of raised to be a true narcissist started but that whole idea needs to stop. Check out the work of Dr.Hare, who is a famous psychiatrist at a penitentiary who did research on the inmates. His conclusion is born that way. Christ even referred to Judas as a devil. No where in scripture does it say that childhood treatment caused this but there is mention of familial curses and demonic possession. We are warned about this kind. The bible is full of warnings and clear examples.. My “successful” family lineage is full of these asses but my parents were decent neurotypical empathetic people. My mother understood psychopathy. Couldn’t of asked for better parents. Narcs have genetic neurological disfigurations for sure.
Thank you for showing this video. I have watched your videos on narcissism and found them very informational, but I particularly like this one because it shows the "other side" of the coin, non-narcissistic parents who happen to have narcissistic children (or at least one narcissistic child). All too often, a lot of people like to blame parents for EVERYTHING, so I like it when I see videos that show BOTH sides of the situation.
It's a really sad thought for children to be like this. My little sister seemed that way as a small child, but she had her moments of showing love and compassion. I recall her crying as I read her "Where the Red Fern Grows" and we decided to stop reading it together since she was too sad. I remember having to help her clean up after bedtime accidents, but as time went on she became smug about it. Maybe it was that she was just embarrassed though. She seemed extremely self centered by adulthood. She faked cancer, harmed pets she hoarded for money and attention, etc. She eventually went on to seclude herself in my parents' basement. She's hardly left in the past 11 years and not once since Covid hit over three years ago - not to go even outside.
Horrible😞
Sounds like maybe she is schizoid personality disorder. Either way, all these disorders are along the same continuum with different highlight. They all cause trouble.
I'm sure you've considered she's also on top of what you say here, she's also apparently goraphopic.
@@selfesteem3447 I realize her struggles go beyond and NPD isn't primary issue. She's just the only person with a cluster b disorder who I knew through childhood through adulthood. I've known a couple people who are only primarily narcs. I'd guess that my mother is covert, but my father is a classic malignant narcissist. In my sister's case, I don't feel like she was destined or born to grow up to be uncaring.
I had to live with my cousins when I was a kid. They would lie on me and other people and for some strange reason they could do no wrong. Everyone always believed them. They were learning to treat me like crap from their parents though. But then I seen them treat their mom like crap too. It was a complete hell hole living there. All of them against me. I was constantly trying to figure out what I did wrong to get in trouble. But I was in trouble cuz my cousins lied. I got the worse of the abuse but when I was thrown out I think my cousins got what was heaped on me.
Very Interestinng Danish, Thank You!
I'll use Myself as an Example, for No Better reason than to Shine a Light of ... Inspiration?
How Does One Child Being Raised In a Family of Narc's. Grow Up to be the Only Empath? Overtly So. I'm Claiming- 4 Grandparent's, 9 Aunts and Uncles, 26 Cousins, Four Sister's... ALL Narcissists to the Very Black Soul.
I Stand Alone. Still getting attacked in so Many Sick Ways even though I moved 1200+ Miles away 38 Years Ago. No Contact. That's the BEST Rule I Ever Found Out- Yet- You Know Narc's. They'll Seek and Find!
Only to Blame YOU for Not Knowing your Mother Had Died 3 Months earlier. Long Story How I Found Out. In Perfect Narcissistic Language- Which I Pointed Out-
It's Not MY Job to Tell You Mom Died.
Oh, My Dear Sister, Spoken as the True Narcissist You ARE- YES it WAS YOUR JOB to Tell Me. You Were Named Executor of the Estate!
I've NEVER been Hung Up on So Quickly in My Entire Life!!!!
So How is it a Family of Evil, Spawns ONE SINGLE EMPHATIC Person?
It's because such family systems need a scapegoat, and that was you, because you had the most empathy of them all. That's why you were chosen, because they sensed you were different from them. There are recessive genes that suddenly show up out of nowhere.
Plenty of children were influenced in that school situation. 🏫
They definitely can. My brother is a Narcissistic and I've been suffering his traits since I can recall
Can be born this way !
I am truly unsure if she wants to heal. I think she likes being a victim because people go out of there way for her. Even if she understands empathy and shame. She also understands how to manipulate people like crazy.
She's 19 now and hee behaviors toward me are much improved. She doesn't constantly gasligjt me or have angry outbursts. But she does still manipulate. So, improvement, definitely.
So what can we teach our children? Lovingly explain that yes, life has been unfair to them..as everyone accumulates trauma to some degree. But that it is ok, because as we grow we learn that our trials can lead to good, strength, peace. It is up to us to do what is right, honest, and upbuilding...regardless of our situation. And when we make a mistake, we stand up and try again. And your Dad and Mama will be there to support you in every way we can, including correction at times.
My two children with the narc, one was always a tad dark and manipulative but we still had a fairly good relationship.
She would keep her personal life secret in her teens but she was, I believe, very capable of managing her emotions, was popular and did well at school.
Second child was horrified by his father’s behaviour of tantrums and control up to his late teens, but once in his early twenties they worked together, 10 years later they still do regularly and Dad became an ok guy who helped him earn good money.
Neither child will speak to me now I’m divorcing the narc husband and I’m often gleefully informed by him of the good times he has with them.
I don’t understand it but there’s nothing I can do as they’re in their 30’s.
It also means they withhold contact with grandchildren.
I don’t understand it, I’m a respectable person who works hard and there’s no reason to do that.
True story :
When I was 3 and my brother 5, he brought me to where my parents were storing medication and vitamin bottles. He was giving me the medication, but he was only taking vitamins.
When I was 4 and my brother 6, he brought me in the basement, he wanted to break glass bottles against concrete, and asking me to go in the pile of broken glass to bring him back the unbroken pieces so he can throw them again, I fell (Don't remember what exactly happened then) in the broken glass and got a nice scar on my face because of this.
When I was 5 and my brother 7, he tried to make me drink cleaning products, but was caught in time by my uncle who told him how dangerous it was, if he understood how bad it was.
When I was 6 and my brother 8, he asked me to follow him in the garage, then he asked me to drink some fondue gas, which has a skull pictogram on it and "Poison" written on it. He told me "It tastes like juice, take some! I'll take some after you" so at this age I was able to understand that it was poison, so I faked to drink a bit, then handed him the bottle, told him it's his turn, but he refused and walked away like nothing happened.
We're both in our thirties now, but a lot of things that happened through the years made me wonder if he's a psychopath. I could refer to a lot of weird behaviors from him over time, but he's the kind to always be polite with people, always charming, but never talks about anything related to any feelings, like asking him "How do you feel about X, Y, or Z" he's lost, never display feelings but joy, being surprised, and sometimes sudden rages, especially when he loses at a game, playing card for example if he loses he can slap everything off the table then play along as if it was just a joke. A couple years ago when our beloved grand mother was on her death bed right in front of him, no emotions at all. He has a chameleon personality, as if he was sticking others' personality to his mask just to appear normal.... Like if he's with someone who uses "O my God!" then he proceeds to use this phrase too, mirroring. He's often mimicking others. When he talks he often use words that he knows the interlocutor won't understand, like technical terms related to his domain (Computer science) or things that are related to a particular TV series, then if the other doesn't know what he's talking about he goes "What!?!? You don't know that? It's lacking to your culture" He like to judge people based on their "lack of knowledge".
I recently asked him about when we were young when he was trying to make me drink the fondue gas, I asked him "Why did you do this?" He told me there was no reason, it was not for revenge or anything. I asked him "When is the last time you did something like this?" then he told me "What!?!? I would never do that! Do you think I'm a poisoner?" Then I say to him "No I trust that your consciousness evolved and you're not". Then he says with a smirk on his face "But maybe I'm lying".
So, I think I have a psychopathic brother, but he's smart and very good at manipulation and at putting up a "normal" mask made of bribes of other people's personality. So now I'm unable to have normal discussions with him without wondering if he's faking interest, lying, or trying to manipulate. Am I crazy or all of this is not normal at all?
What you describe about your brother's behavior and patterns is truly scary. Trust your instincts, your experience, your memories, your knowledge. You know. You have been through what you have been through and you have seen what you have seen. Keep your distance and protect your family from your brother. Maybe to "keep the peace" you can maintain a shallow relationship with him, but please never trust him, especially with people and things dear to you, and always remain on your guard🙏 Best luck to you!
It's hard to imagine the amount of anxiety these thoughts can induce... Up to recently I never really did research about narcissism/psychopathy/sociopathy. I also didn't know about his attempts to make me eat medics and the attempt to make me drink cleaner before recently. He told me these 2 things when I asked him "What's the worst thing you ever did to someone else?" Thinking he would tell me about the fondue gas thing (That I remember vividly) So then I started to wonder if he tried to do the same to my other siblings or parents. It's only then that I asked him when's the last time he did something like this... My sister got an untreatable auto immune disease, I do too, my mother got cancer when I was 12. Leaving me wondering if he could be the cause. Not easy to deal with, all the family is seeing him as a good person too.... Not many things I can do but being cautious, put cameras on, watching for anything suspect, almost making me paranoid... I asked my siblings if he ever tried to make them take anything that's not supposed to be consumed, they said no, but my brain makes so many scenarios, it's draining mentally. It brings a lot of anxiety, it's almost debilitating sometimes.
Before doing research I thought he was probably not thinking much about it at the time, I was considering his weird behaviors just as a coping mechanism because he was probably not feeling good about himself so he would mimic others just to be accepted in the group and boost his confidence a bit, never thought further than that, but when I put everything together I get a strong intuition that he's a psychopath, with covert narcissistic traits. He's not the grandiose type, he's more of a loner, but he's acting extraverted when in public, he seems to care, he's a good actor I think. I feel like talking about that to anyone would put a "crazy" label on me, especially for those who are convinced he's a goo guy. It's like a lose lose situation no matter what I could do. I'll probably die young from stress
@@Just-Ice271 Consider cutting ties or at least minimizing your interactions with him, for your own sake and mental health. Let people think of your brother what they want; you've done your part of warning them/making them aware of the situation. People with such condition can be very deceitful... Please focus on healing yourself and your trauma, and reach out for professional help (specialized in narcisstic/sociopathic/psychopathic abuse). You're not crazy and deserve a happy and stress-free life!!🌷
@@Betulaaah Many things you're saying resonate with me. I also figured the best thing I could do is tell my brother I don't think he's like I think he is. That's why I told him "No I trust that your consciousness evolved and you're not" when he said "What!?!? I would never do that! Do you think I'm a poisoner?" ... I don't want him to think I'm suspecting him of still being the same, but my intuition is telling me otherwise. He's probably not causing physical harm, but he sure still is manipulative, lying, mimicking people, gaslighting. It's like he doubled effort to mask and mimic empathic actions since then. I have a hard time faking to be sympathetic though so I'm not friendly most of the times with him, just neutral, trying to not talk for too long it's draining my energy... But I told him if he ever finds I have a bad attitude it's just because of my depression and asked him to take nothing personally because it wasn't... Well I lied there but it's ideal I think too.
After talking to my sister, she asked my brother "Are you capable of empathy?" even if I told her that it would be better to not talk about it at all... Then my mother got the memo, and what she said is that it demolished him when my sister asked him this question... Thing is his attitude here in the apartment never changed so I think he faked it. When I told my sister about that, she answered with something that troubled me a bit more : Once, when my brother was drunk, he slipped his hands on her breast, both hands. Since then she has a hard time to show any sign of affection to him. When talking to my other brother (Let's say brother 2), he told me that it happened a couple times that brother 1 had flirty behavior with brother 2's exes.
Regarding seeking for help, it's a fight in itself. I'm from a poor family, I worked most of my life but since the burn out my mental state is simply not there for finding a job (Then add the typical judgements "No work? You lazy." But well, not that it affects me much compared to everything else).
So with the public system, I was put on a 2 years waiting list to see a psychotherapist, but I had to report every week to a social worker. I missed 2 calls so they removed me from the list 1 year after. Now I'd have to reapply and wait 2 years, or go in the private sector but I can't afford. I found an organism that could maybe help with low cost psychological support, that's my next step
I forgot to say, after University my brother didn't find work, so my dad did rent an apartment in the basement of his home to him. After my burn out I couldn't afford anymore to pay for my own place so I moved in the same apartment with him. It doesn't help. Maybe it's the first thing I should work on : Moving out of there.... But then I need a job, or a way to make money. No employer would want to hire me with my actual state of mind, and faking that everything is fine, I did it long enough, I'm not able anymore, it would sure show in any interview I get, and I'm already stressed a lot if I add new job to that without first finding tools to heal my brain, I'm not sure I can handle more stress.
Sorry for these long texts, kind of going therapy mode in a comment section on youtube... Might not be ideal but it helps to get others' opinion on this, it helps to remove doubts that I might be the one who's crazy. Trying to cope with stress by taking walks in the woods, breathing exercises, meditation, playing music, but when anxiety kicks in, and it's always coming back, it's destructive, irregular breathing, by the thorax, shoulders high and tense, high stress, abdominal pain, insomnia and cold sweat. Watching Buddhists' videos about acceptance recently helped in my meditation, it's fun you talk about that, I found this technic just a couple days ago, and it helps bring down anxiety when it rushes in from nowhere. Thank you for your input, it's very appreciated both you and @Titpomderen8
@@Just-Ice271that's a lot, and glad you shared. I've been able to 75% deal with anxiety thru breathe, breathing techniques. Please read on different methods and I believe it will immediately help you. 🤝🫂
First 🥰...all your videos are valuable for me Danish......Thank you so much 🙏👍keep going
It's not always the parents who are responsible... Sometimes you get influenced by your surroundings.. Like watching TV serials and thinking that the manipulative and multifaced character are cool
Yes, I do believe it was learned or heavily influenced by a narcissistic guardian. My mother is a narcissist and my son was her golden grandchild up until her control and manipulation lost its grip on him. He was taught to be abusive (literally). Since we have moved away and severed ties he is slowly starting to see that she has a mental problem and is overcoming the brainwashing. But I don’t expect him to recover overnight. He is reluctant to attend therapy. But I do see the old loving boy he once was slowly reemerging.
Oh yes, my son would not study, school even had him tested, "Not up to his potential" said doctor, @ 15 he put himself in the physch-ward to get out of exams and I said as much to them (oh no what's big pharma going to do?), and so not so said the docs, psychotic episode (aka smoked a joint) even gave him an on "Stage" doc, (huh?)! I told my son "If you don't come home with me they're going to lock you up and put you on meds", he didn't come home with me, I got him out a few days later. 3 yrs of court, lawyers ($) and he got out of his self-inflicted narc mode. He's now a nurse! I let him be his own train wreck, it was the only way!
My daughter was under a narcissist father. But she was also confused whom to follow. Whenever there was a showdown, she always was at loggerheads with her father. Before she left the house, she told me to come along with her and we both can live a peaceful life. Now that she has moved out. She makes it a point to speak to me. But when she comes home and sees me in a dull mood, she holds herself responsible and takes out that self anger on me. I don't know how to handle this situation, because I feel as long as she is around I want to spend happy moments with her.
Yes, they can.
I think I was on the way to become a narcissist. They took me away from my mother right after birth for medical reasons, but being without physical contact for six weeks messed me up. Up to this day, I don’t expect anyone to be there for me. I have to brave it out alone. But my mom taught me compassion and empathy when I was a kindergartener, so I didn’t become an evil person at least.
Sounds like you could have been on your way to becoming narcissistic but if you are able to reason your thinking like you are then you cannot be. A narc cannot escape their disease. Not with love, understanding, patience, or time. That devil needs to be cast out.
Ok, those with traits and good core can be saved if the parent become aware if their own disfunctions, otherwise the good hearted one can easiky end being the scape goat and later on borderline. Those with malignant core from birth are the list one that will manipulate their own unaware barcissistic manipulative parents so to bond with them and get all what their brattjness desires ending to be the Golden Child and next main narcissist when the parent will die.
Attention though to the compensative dynamic of the scape goat at home becoming the narcissist at work!! Awareness and self awareness are the keys..
Personally experienced my sis as malignant narcissist and can say she was like that since in the crib, has never being corrected as my mother was since than starting to follow her family pattern, and so spoiled my sis is the great narc she is now. Not easy yo recover when your full famly has been stolen from you by this demon, cause yes I am firmely convinced at spiritual level this to be demoniac
Most of this is learned behavior.
More on N adult children would be so welcome! Thank you.
You are not lying or exaggerating. For years, from childhood to grown-adult-parent. Have never apologized. Regard themselves as invincible. Taken, wasted with no regard. Believing no one knows. If we do, what are we going to do about it? Easy, don't talk to me about anything. "But, you're my brother". Over $1 mil ago, it did not matter. Be happy w/ what you 2 have. I gave my parents. I helped feed them. I helped them make major decisions. I chose not to harm them or drop out of school. It served me well. From single digit age. Yet, I pray for them. Marines & Air Force.
I believe the longer you stay in the narcissistic relationship especially the mother is the narcissist and especially the child spends more time with narcissistic mother, the child more likely to be come a narcissist. However, if there is a discard from non-narcissist father to narcissistic mother. The father does everything right by providing love, caring, and kindness to the child, most likely the child will be normal or regulated. Therefore, it is crucial for the child not to spend most of their time with the narcissistic mother. Also good to get rid of the narcissistic spouse or partner permanently for the sakes of the children. The longer the narcissistic relationship is the worst outcome for the children especially with the narcissistic mother.
I have several children and at sometime or other they all show narcissistic behaviors. One of them, their overtly narcissistic paternal grandfather's favorite, showed a lot of narcissistic traits. After he passed and she began to get old enough to reason I was able to point out her poisonous actions and how to change them. She also wanted her siblings to include her, but had to change in order for them to be able to include her. Another one was my little boy who was his covert narcissistic paternal aunt's favorite. He would treat his older brother(a year and a half older) like trash and got really heady with me. I quit allowing her to watch him and his brother and he has gone back to being a sweet boy. His older brother looks like my side of the family while he looks like his father's side. This particular aunt has a lot of trouble with me which is why I believe she subconsciously started pitting them one against the other.
I know another child who is narcissistic, one of their cousins on the same family side. She is permitted to be the way she is by her parents. They always believe her and when she wants her way she gives them whatever sob story will pull their heart strings so they will give her her way. I know they love her, but they do not see that they are making a monster out of her!
I thank you so much, Danish for your words of inspiration and wisdom. I, through the grace of the gods, had been able to see the narcissistic abuse I was experiencing from my spouse and have just come out of a long, expensive, painful divorce. I was blessed with 3 children but have been fighting to limit the amount of custody that their narcissistic father has with them. I am trying so hard to help them heal as well as trying to help myself. I just don't know if both of my teen girls can be saved, or if only one can. I don't want to give up on them and pray every day for their healing. My youngest, my son, has the fewest narc tendencies and rules with his heart but unfortunately has the most parenting time with his father because he "doesn't want Daddy to be all alone". 😢
Thank you so much danish😊😊 u make me take breath.. I always worried about my child but, with this vedio I came to know my child is not narc because he z showing remorse ,he says sorry for commiting wrong nd he loves me alot... Thanqq
You're so right,this is very important question.
? When did I first notice the little girl who I was born along side of, who I shared birth - space with, who I made mud - pies with, who I shared the toilet seat with as little girls when our behinds were oh so narrow... my identical twin sister,... who was NEVER NOT A COMPLETE STRANGER to me.
It's as if, I kid you not, I sware my soul knew it before I was able to actually be able to pick out valid signs as to how she was dead and cold on the inside, having no feelings for me/no care for me. Here is the first things I remember....
When I first had a feeling she was evil, was as 4 year olds playing in the dirt as we uncovered a bright red long root.
We both simultaneously called it the "devils finger" and hurriedly covered it back up. I then at that very moment had a thought "I hope she doesn't turn out evil" (WHAT ?)
This is what I now refer to how I say "my soul KNEW" bc even at that very moment as a lil kid I was asking myself
"why would I say/think such a thing, where out in left field would I get a thought like that, why would I pick up on a feeling or thought about her like that" ?
Next signal or sign was when we transitioned to leaving our mom's side to go to Kindergarten, as our narc 💩👺 🤡 "father" had long since been threatening mass murder suicide upon the family,
(not to mention a laundry list of all forms of abuse too). I was separated from "being able to protect my mom" (who I now know my mom to have been (she died in 2012) a codependent very low level narcissist herself).
My response, in my terrorized child mind and overwhelmed self was to cry all day at Kindergarten. What told me something was wrong with my twin sister?
It was, she NEVER had any compassion for me crying. She would constantly tell me to SHUT UP.
And I get it, it must have been very annoying to be alongside me, w/my constant crying but for her to have never had a single moment of compassion for me INCLUDING her not sharing in my terror of also being worried for our mom, told me something was very very wrong w/ her.
The next thing was she developed a habit of hitting me in my head HARD,...my skull would be PAINFULLY penetrated, ...had to of hurt her fist. This was usually done for something I hadn't really done anything wrong for/to CONTROL ME, And it became a habit, I could expect to continue. When I tried to express to my mom what she was doing to me, she would fake crying like I had done something to her and my mom would buy it.
I formed a plan, the next time she hit me like that I would hit her in the head just like she hit me. Well,... She showed me. When I did as such, she came at me tenfold and hit me in the head 10 times harder than ever, showing me that I would never be doing that again.
This is when she started showing me who she really was. This is the person I've always known to have her have been to me. And this is the psychopath I now still know her to be today WHO I HAVE BEEN IN NO CONTACT with for many years AND I WILL NEVER AGAIN be in contact with.
The lasr I heard about her recently is, she is living a miserable life and her kids are well aware their mom is a psychopath and narcissist and are FED UP w/her.
PS Looking back, I never saw her cry about anything, ever.
An identical twin !! Like you were born out of the same sperm and ovum right??
Unrelated to the video, but your hair looks super shiny and healthy here! 😁💗
Danish, I believe I am the parent of such an adult child. Until just recently I had thought it was just my ex Narc husband having undue influence on my middle son, or that he was "getting inside of his head" and basically abusing me by proxy. Now I'm not so sure. My son is 29. When he was starting puberty, roughly 13, 14 years old he was having these terrible violent outbursts. Violent rhetoric, tantrums, cursing, impulsive behavior, etc. This was also during the time our divorce was going on (it took 18 months). It kept getting worse. I was worried maybe he was bi-polar or my secret fear was that he was being abused by someone. We sent him to a psychiatrist, and a therapist. We had to physically carry him out of the house to go to these sessions. Screaming, cursing, kicking, etc. Therapists said no he wasn't bi-polar. He was just "depressed". Later he was substance abusing. Marijuana, alcohol, possibly cough medicine, smoking, things he was not getting from our home - - he went to other kids houses, etc to get these things. Fast forward. He still has issues with substances, and he says he has anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation - - so I am kind of stuck in this state of worry constantly about him. He will go long periods of no contact, then when he makes contact again it's almost like love bombing or fawning, then picking some sort of argument, and calling me crazy, then not talking to me for a big chunk of time. So I don't know. His father is in my opinion quite a sadistic narcissist, who wears many masks. HIs biggest mask is that he's a loving family man, and I am a crazy person who never wanted a family. My son talks to me like this a lot. On the one had he says you were the best Mom ever, on the other he says you never wanted your children. So I am confused. Is he possibly bi-polar, or is he feigning the depression, anxiety to control me? I live in another state with my new husband. All of my children are adults. I see them most of the time once or twice a year. With this child, sometimes he won't even see us when we come to visit.
Golden Children are narcissists and will likely stay narcissists. Even though children shouldn't be called narcissists because they may change when they have more freedom, if you see a Golden Child... and it's being a narcissist.... it will likely stay that way.
That position can be interchangeable tho. I was the GC and I got dethroned to scapegoat when I realized smth was off and started calling her out. (mom). 🤷♀️...it can happen anytime.
@@monicarai1497 good point, but I'm talking about stable Golden Children. Those who were either from birth or for the majority of the time.
I've just come to realize that I am the parent of a narcissistic son. He's grown now, with children of his own. I haven't seen him or his wife or my five grandchildren in 8 years, but he called me ince a week until about 2 1/2 years ago. I really didn't see signs of this as he was growing up. I shared some information with him that he didn't like or agree with, so he's been nasty to me ever since. He's made a number of accusations toward me, which he never did before. I've just learned about narcissism over the last couple of years, so maybe I didn't see it in him. I felt peace with him though, where I didn't feel peace with his father. His father didn't have anything to do with him after our divorce, but I think my son kept trying to have a relationship with his father and may have succeeded in contacting him. If so, that would mean he's had 8 years of his father's influence in his life. Also, my son's father-in-law is definitely a narcissist. He's also been around his influence. Can an adult child become narcissistic later in life or did I just miss the signs, like I did early on with his father? Earlier, right after the divorce, my son complimented me for being a single mother because his father was never there for him, but I was. This is shocking to say the least!!!
7:40 same! 4th grade girl, new in school, jwish, took a mousy blonde shy girl and groomed her to be her golem or right hand man. very assertive, aggressive, sexual even . very smart but i was smartest in the class. i loved that year learned a lot
Has anybody ever noticed that there also can be other neurological disorders attached to psychopathy in general? Hearing problems, vision problems, problems with gait or coordination, learning difficulties? I have been observing this from the kids whose parents or parents was a narc.
When the child is placed on daycare while both parents work is a recipy for disaster. I as a mother bought into the concept of career and using "top rated" childcare facilities. When I found my 3 year old being abused on site the management instead of addressing the staff issue launched a full scale smear and gang-stalking campaign against me. This child got locked into 'fright or flight' mode, lost all trust, lost the ability to read and concentrate, went mute in any social situation outside the house, began fantasy lies. Because she lost the ability to concentrate and speak she was harangued by teachers on the classroom and was targeted by bullies all way through primary and secondary school. The worst perpatrator was a veru basic middle aged nun with grandiose attitude who literally turned the whole convent school into a gang stalking inferno involving flying monkey staff and opportunistic students and parents in the community. It was inbelievable. Now, the child is a 21 year old with extreme narcisstic tendencies and I am literally her survival enabler as you describe in one of your videos. She takes me to the point of literally extinguishing her life if i dont intervene to rescue her from mindless behaviours.
yes my son is a narcissist, i think its his wife who made him that way or cemented his narcissism. its really wild to go through this.
She married your son between the ages of 0 - 10 years?
@@KimMarshall44 maybe 35-40
@@benji4330 then she had no part in your son becoming a narcissist.
@@KimMarshall44 I don't know
@@benji4330 from what I know, based on the information thus far on NPD their false self is created during childhood and thus they have arrested development issues.
I grew up with a psychopathic narcissist. I was surprised her husband was still alive after he divorced her. Her parents were narcissists too. He dad was downright psychotic. He set my parent's front porch on fire because his wife came to our house to get away from him. My parents didn't know it was him who set the fire until his wife told my parents years later. His daughter was a female chuckie as a child. She even had red hair like Chuckie.
Yes , when I took my cousin to the park , it was 6 year old narcissist running with a pack of others just as themselves unapologetic , disrespectful, filthy mouthed at such a young age I’ve seen it
Omg that story you told about your female classmate. Damn i had a friend like that in sch too. She'd start crying wolf the minute things dont go her way and when teachers would ask her she would implicate the person she wanted to target. (like pinching herself)
Hello yes that's where it starts
Daycare breeds them. The earlier they start daycare full time, the higher the chance they will develop narcissistic personality disorder. Children need emotionally healthy environments to develop healthy minds. Daycare will never be that kind of environment.
Thank you for this video
Whenever I throw a tantrum I just feel like killing someone have an unhealed trauma and need some healing mahn trauma really sucks
Short answer,yes. Lord Of The Flies. But there's more to it than that,right? Genetics,generational narcissistic abuse are big ones but in personal experience I saw it go hand in hand with ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). Both by age 7,definite tendencies but also having a neglectful NPD mom didn't help. Poor kid. Decades later,it's progressed to malignant narcissm with sociopathic tendencies. Now,it's her kids,either a flying monkey or a polyanna. They are both empathic but she has done everything to derail their good hearts. Pure evil at this point. Good luck sorting things out,everyone. Good site, thanks!
Spot on Danish
I believe trauma can cause the brain to develop differently and become more evil or good with influences, as God states he gave All his creation a “free will”. This is why God made it easy to come home, by believing on Jesus, in your mind and heart, you choose to change your behavior and God can heal you. The starting point is believing ❤
Shalom
Shalom
Hi, yes child also
I am gonna be honest. I was a child very narcissistic and also as a teenager.
Hi, I have a 16y son, who seems to have narcissistic traits. But i am still confused whether he is beyond recovery or not. He behaves in a mixed way. Can't decide when he is showing his true self. Need help with him
Please create a hindi channel for your videos. It will benefit many others.
Brilliant
I knew a few of these children, at 7 years old at the elementary school a girl with other 2 bullied me and I hided behind a tree and scared the free time to play because of them. All of them where daughters of rich families of the zone. Also, a very disturbed kid at the age of 9 in another school tried to sexually herass me in the toilet and I managed to escape. He revenged at the higher grade school, when I tried to change class (he was there in my class) and the teachers said they didn't want to discriminate a child, giving him the chance to say sorry and recover. Result? In summer he tried to strangulate me in the summer camp with the school. Nobody protected me with the excuse he was in a disfunctional family and he was only a child.
Children imitate adults they admire and are drawn to, therefore they can behave in a narcisistic way and psychologists claim that all teenagers display narcisistic traits to some extent. We can not diagnose children as their personality is still developing. If the narcisistic traits are still present in a young adult at the age of about 25 then we can diagnose their disorders.
I don't think you can sense dark energy or that thing exists
yes, there children.
Thank you its so hard to tell whats going on and what to do and how to stop it. Also how to help them
They need to learn about it and how people end up if their negative emotions remain unchecked
Make sure there aren’t other underlying MH issues. A kid who is AUDHD (autistic/ADHD), for example can almost seem like the second example. And their narcissistic parent will often do all they can to avoid a diagnosis or treatment - using it for their own purposes.
It’s horrible to see. Horrible.
I really have this problem mostly
In their DNA, learned traits from society, and/or family dynamics can all create narcissistic children 😢 my son is one😪
Yes I struggle with a narcissist adult child😮
Yes, YES. The grandfather was one, the father was one , oh hell no!!! the child worse than the two put together.
My stepson is a narcissistic child beyond hope. His mom, grandmothers his mom's mom, and my sister-in-law are the narcissistic people including his stepdad. She hides the kid from friends and family so he can not talk to them. he told me two years ago at age 10 how he would kill me like Chucky did the girl. The killer doll Chucky. He's called me filthy names. His mom disobeys court orders and does what she wants to. I feel he is beyond hope. I have my Psychology Degree and it saddens me that she does this to him.
I would drop contact that kid like a hot potato. He has made a threat on your life. What is on their mind comes out of their mouth.
Kerry, you are right. I have gone no contact he is not even allowed in my home per a court order. An age 12 has to go to anger management
Obscrum6 I am contactless at this point no contact at all
Yes they can be.
Yes
What if they are 26?
I hope I'm not my dad sexually abused me I don't no if he was ok never heard this before
He’s not ok. He treated you like an object. He objectified you instead of humanizing you. You will be psychologically messed up from this somehow. Keep researching personality disorders. Look at the DSM-5 there are three categories: A, B and C. Some people can have traits from many of these categories mixing and matching.
Your dad was a psychopath and might have been mixed with other stuff. That means that there is going to be a genetic component that may or may not have been passed down to you or that was given to you in varying degrees. See, genetically, some genes can be turned on or remain off giving varying degrees of the disorder. You might be Borderline in some degree because Borderline has categories as well. Plus some Borderlines are co-morbid ( that means co-occurring ) with NPD/psychopathy and that kind is hard to recover from.
TAROTBOT1111 with a tarot card reading for TAURUS. Taurus, are you involved somehow with a Scorpio? [Cards]: Eight of Baskets, STRENGTH, MISS IDA. READING: a child has seen things they cannot unsee under the guardianship of a parent and his girlfriend.... -😽
I grew up with narcissists parents and I dont go in relationships I don't want to hurt noone because I dont have empaty and I can't love noone