Yes I have been noticing myself feeling understimulated and wanting to use my phone more and then being overstimed by my phone usage! I've been really struggling with intentional silence but as my therapist says baby steps!!
I have adhd but most of the information for people with adhd is how to be more productive, use calendars and timers. I don’t want to be more productive, I want to be healthy and happy and balanced and I so appreciate the audhd community looking at things a different way ❤ my son is autistic and I want to teach him every tool to regulate and enjoy life and I inadvertently have learned to take care of myself more too ❤️
100%, if I "get my morning wrong I'm dysregulated the rest of the day" ... I'm 50yrs old and I'm *just* learning how to put words to that. I've been accidentally stumbling over little things that help me put my morning together in ways that don't set me up/load the dice for failure &/or shutdown, over the last 3 years, but only within the last few months have I really started to realize how those hard-won partial bits of understanding about myself need me to make them full-on boundaries. I'm not a morning person and I've spent my entire life trying to find ways of not having to wake up at an early hour... but it turns out that ideally, I *need* to get up early so I can gently unroll these little bits of non-negotiable morning routine, so that I can be "ready" to tackle all the shit I struggle with that other people call "life." If I don't get up earlier than I ever thought I'd choose to set the alarm for, my morning routine can take me until 11am or something ridiculous (on a not-great day when I need to invest extra time into it) and then I don't have time in the business day (or daylight left for gardening), to get the stuff done that if I don't tackle it, causes me significant problems by one means or another. I have to go to bed way earlier than I'd have ever imagined would be my choice (I've always been a night owl) but a med I take for other things makes me drowsy and helps that process. So long as I can remember/convince myself to take it when I should, lol! But I'm getting there. It's an utter revelation to have realized that *I* need a lengthy morning routine when most of the years of my life I've slept until the last possible minute, rolled out of bed, and thrown myself into the day (to varying levels of success but mostly, I can now see, just wearing myself thin).
yo this video is legit helping me rn more than I expected thank you fr. Like i so glad your talking about specific stretching, ie EMDR eye movements or face muscles. A huge thing thats been game changing for me is having a consistent diet but that w sleeping and stretching really is so important for us esp with hypersensitive feelings. its also super relatable because i went for a long run on our local bike path and i literally just let myself get discarated stare at nature aka meandering. We need to let ourselves get distracted intentionally sometimes. thank you for your vids!
Agree so wholeheartedly, I feel exactly the same. I’ve been doing a lot of those things daily now and in combination with many other factors I’m feeling soooo much better and just so present for myself and my loved ones. However i had never considered the eye movement or face stretching and am excited to add that into the mix :)
This is so bizarre! Years and years of trial and error and stumbling into things lol I have found most of these exact things work for me as well. Stretching, eye movement, gentle mornings, walking, breathe work, sitting in silence... all are necessary to help me begin regulating. I do all of these things in my own space and they are very personal. No one knows about these little innocuous, inconspicuous practices. Not many people understand or are consciously aware of how much work is needed to keep from being overloaded. This content is awesome. It blows my mind that we do the same things lol
That’s the thing, these things are so small and so simple that it could only matter to you cause you’re the one who feels it. It’s not anything special or grandiose or expensive
....I've never been diagnosed with ADHD, but I've always had to do many of these practices in order to feel "right". I never noticed my "T-rex" arms, but I'm totally going to try meandering on my walks and swinging my arms. Also, the eye stretches! I've always thought that facial massages sounded like annoying "how to look prettier" advice, but as a way to soothe my jaw muscles that are constantly clenched, it makes sense! Thanks for the holistic, principal-focused advice. Great content.
I definitely notice that thing where instead of just using visual/audio stimulation to get through tasks in a healthy way, I end up doing it constantly to drown out my own thoughts because I'm dysregulated and not acknowledging it. Allowing quiet times is such a big project but such an important one. This channel and the community is such a beautiful haven of understanding 💛
Amazing vid thank you for this resource!! I'm working on this consistent regulation at the moment and the eye movement thing is a great idea!! I've silenced myself a lot through my life with my masking so I also do a lot of noise making, growling and silent screaming which helps me a lot.
I’ve had my septum fixed. I’ve had a lot of surgeries and that one was the easiest. For a week it feels not good… but after the follow up appointment and the doctor removes these giant things from inside your nose and you can finally breath. *BEST FEELING EVER!!! Being able to breath on both sides of your nose, no longer mouth breathing anytime I need more air , breathing more quietly so it doesn’t distract me or others, it’s amazing! So totally worth it! I had a coworker who had to replace her top and bottom jaw for extreme pain and migraines. It started with braces and then 2 big surgeries. It was such a long road for her but a decade later she still posts about how life changing it was and how she would do it all again in a heart beat. Her life is so much better now. I hope all of your breathing issues get better once you have your septum and jaw fixed.
I think the T-rex position is about proprioception. the tension helps us stay connected. I do that with my legs, unfortunately. always twisting them around each other or chairs. dissociating instantly if I don't.
I took a walk after watching the video and realized I t-rex pose more than I thought. Then I started reading the comments and saw this and noticed the way my legs were twisted around each other.
I think it’s valuable that you want to look inward and help the self, not for the “fix”. Nobody is coming to save us. We aren’t going to wake up different one day. We are going to keep being here until we aren’t, and important to take every day as it comes and find what works to keep yourself regulated. It helps to understand that many of us likely struggle with permanence and can easily fall into thinking we’ve fixed it and now we are done, hooray. It’s not that way. We do have to put effort into ourselves like this out of love for us and our needs. In truth I think most people are really asking “what will make me normal” and not “how can I handle not being normal” because we want so badly to be relinquished of the tiring effort it is to be here. But this kind of approach is what makes that unavoidable process any more doable.
The way you said we have to be ready to surrender to the possibility of a better way to live really resonated with me. I have a turbulent relationship with hope as I’m sure many of us do. I’ve been surviving via dissociation and distraction - it feels safe. But lately, I’ve been reevaluating whether it’s actually working for me because I’m exhausted all the time even though I’ve transitioned to working from home and have more control over my environment. I’m significantly more regulated than I was before going into work daily, but I’m still exhausted all the time, my sleep is terrible and I dread getting out of bed in the morning. For the longest time I’ve believed this is as good as it’s gonna get. I just have to radically except that I’m going to feel this way forever. Then I found your channel. Your videos have helped me realize that there is possibility. Of all the autistic content creators, your channel brings me this feeling of peace and fills me with this sense of openness. Like I can let go of some of the cynicism and surrender to possibility.
How were you able to find a work from home job? It seems so difficult and competitive to get one. I have such a hard time being at work for 9 hours a day 😭
@@arimaybe4404 Re: working home, I work for an academic medical center and before COVID I was going into the office everyday. When they sent all of us nonessential employees home, most office space was taken over for clinical care so the folks like myself working remotely were told we are now remote workers and coming to campus is optional. So I just got lucky. I really wish I had some advice or something helpful to offer. 😔 Do you work in an IT field by chance? Or live in the pacific northwest? I can check to see if there’s any open positions at my institution. They allow fully-remote staff to live anywhere in the US.
For me, there are nature walks, and free online classes in yoga and qigong. I plan to relearn the Tai Chi Yang long form, which I haven’t done in over two decades.
... reading this prompted my heart to leap. idk if it will work, but I think I'd like to try switching out some of the "I'm almost ready to tackle something *light* but productive" part of my morning routine with Tai Chi. One of the last remaining road bumps in my "omg, have I found a routine that works for me?" routine (I'm a person for whom routine has always been a disaster) is that sometimes I still feel a bit creaky when I'm otherwise ready to get going. Haven't felt happy when I tried yoga or "non-yoga stretching" in that slot. But thinking about Tai Chi *feels* good. I have much more experience with yoga than I do Tai Chi, but I had a beginner class instruction and enjoyed it and am very willing to learn slowly on my own in my living room. ... thanks for sharing!
I tend to take walks often, until this video I never suspected it was my body asking for it. My impulse for walks comes literally out of nowhere like "Ok I finished this task, let's go for a walk" Stretching is also a very good piece of advice, even for neurotypicals, specially helpful for desk-jobs
Um. I listen to podcasts like crazy. Some days, like you said, i wake up and *need* to put a podcast on to get me out of bed. But regardless, i am listening to podcasts for all of my "boring tasks", constantly throughout the day, like the same episodes again and again through the years bc they're comforting...and i cannot believe i never put together that it's a stim. It makes so much sense now.
After a lifetime of high stress, I now use the neurotransmitter L-theanine and the herb morning glory root, which helps a great deal with my anxiety. Because psychiatric drugs didn't do a thing for me ever. Which, my diagnostician told me, is common.
Your channel is called the Thought Spot so I’m glad you frame things in a way that makes me THINK about what is right for me. Also thank you for this one in particular. You said a lot of things I needed to hear.
as a chronically ill ADHD autistic who juggles POTS with MCAS (and occasional gastrointestinal issues and uveitis/arthritis), and someone who has just learnt that I might have EoE as I am going through a hefty pollen-induced inflammation and reflux, I really needed this video right now. I was just recently wondering if dedicating 20 mins every night to unwind and stim made sense. that was before the current flare. now I know, huge daily stress should be counteracted by huge rest. there's no other way, it's simple maths.
Whats MCAS? I have ankylosing spondilitis (it mimicks arthritis in some aspects but attacks the spine harder, i had uveitis once and it really sucked) and yeah i need to move but not too much. Its hard to balance rest and activity to keep the pain manageable. And im with allergy now too. I hope it slows down by itself...i dont like anti histaminics. I will only take if i start to be too tired walking outside. Im already crying from my eyes and my nose lol 😂
MCAS manager (I don't want to feel a victim) here, too. Somehow the last decade had so many revelation that were all like "holy shit, now it all makes sense!!!" but somehow it is terribly hard to find good doctors or practitioners in Germany, who are willing to do their research and willing to give you credits or at least the benefit of the doubt. These conditions come with so much need for pacing and adaptation to be able to run a "normal" life. As if one of those conditions weren't enough. And overall: THEY ARE INVISIBLE!!!! INVISIBLE ILLNESS = "Imagined" illness seems to be the easy way out for clinicians, GPs and less empathic medical staff. Jesus, I just want to have better tests and screenings. It would have saved me stress and the fear of another useless doctor's appointment....
@@margilvi5890 Ketotifen and other mast cell stabilizers are fine, too. Not sure about the actual bioavailability of isolated quercetin plus you have to be careful about highly processed foods that aren't actually controlled like other meds. They can contain weird stuff. So an apple a day might be the better option ;) My personal opinion
Just wanted to say thank you for making this video! I’m late-diagnosed autistic and this made me realise how de-regulated I have been for years. Already seeing some small positive changes in how I feel, almost like my mind is clearer somehow 🙏
YES! Also, daily Gua Sha has helped my jaw tension and headaches so much!! Also letting someone hold your elbows with bent arms. It feels so nice... To me lol maybe it takes tension off the shoulders and neck
Oh… my heart sank when I saw your video drop right as I was logging off the internet 😩. And I had just finished watching another video by you, the one about your childhood traits pre-diagnosis, I really loved that one as well 😊 Can I start by saying, I’m sorry you go through so much with your body, in any regular day. I thought it was just the chronic pain, but you sometimes struggle with breathing as well…😢. Everything you talk about on your channel really does come from a place of love. When you always say “make sure to stay regulated” at the end of every video, I didn’t realize how far that went for you. It’s beautiful that you understand yourself so well, I’m sure it wasn’t easy, but you made a lot of progress. I love meandering walks, too 😊, the body stretches are such great advice, the eye movement thing I first heard about it on natgeo, I’m so happy it helps you out. I hope there’s people in your family that recognize all the good work that you do here on CZcams. As somebody who lost their dad earlier on, I live everyday like I want to make him proud of me. I hope there’s people in your life proud of your beautiful soul. PS: you look extra pretty in this video, definitely taking good care of your skin ☺️
One of the best ways I regulate myself, which I know is scary for many people, is going to the gym and doing an intense training. Helps A LOT with repressed emotions and anxiety.
Disengaging from and not reacting to negative, unrealistic people brings peace and control to my life. As soon as I stop giving them the expected response and give them none instead, it either makes them think twice about changing their ways, or they give up the association altogether. Most of the time, these people are painfully unaware or lack self-awareness, so they don't change their ways. I have to accept this and move forward without them or with little albeit measured interactions. You can't change the people around you (people themselves), but you can change the people around you (your environment with the people who enter it).
Omggggg this video is RIGHT on time- I had the worst mental health night 2 nights ago. I got to work feeling so stressed I thought I might pass out. When I got moving & started feeling a little more regulated, I noticed my internal resistance to it. Like my consciousness was saying ‘I don’t feel like I want to trust this.’ I felt absurd, finally feeling a little better, and almost not wanting to. It was confusing. I “felt the penny drop” watching this. I’m gonna go for a walk in a few hours. This video has been online for 15 hours & it’s legitimately saving lives. Hooo, I could cry like when I made it to “amen” on “cowboy carter” lol ❤️ THANK YOU!!!!!!! 😫🥰
Replying to your rant about the comments of your video on autistic folks and jobs at the end: lol She said she not about to do all the work for you 😂 You gotta do SOME of the work for yourself if you want to actually figure out what works for you! And honestly most of the work is internal you can go from job to job following a list and still not be satisfied. You gotta look internally and see what you actually need and want.
My OCD was triggered and i was starting to feel VERY overwhelmed so I am watching this video with my headphones while trying to regulate. Thank you so much, it's just in time!
The tiktok video in the beginning and what you said after made me tear up because Ive always had a hard time standing up for myself and what I want to do. Whenever I have to protect myself Ive always felt guilty. Recently I went part time at my job and I already know people will be upset, they already are when someone calls off. But I did this for me and I haven't felt this happy doing something for myself knowing I cant please the other person. This new happy is hard to keep because like the video, im used to feeling on guard....but im trying to open myself to this feeling of happiness so I can feel safe in it
Love these techniques 💛 I've been doing a ton of research on the vagus nerve and ways to regulate the nervous system over the past few years. Some of my favorite techniques I've found are (lightly) massaging the ears to loosen up the ear cartilage- you can try looking up "vagus massage auricular stimulation." Other techniques for stimulating the vagus nerve include singing, toning (Vooooo is a great one,) putting cold stuff on your face (cucumber slices on the eyes is actually super relaxing,) and having a high fiber diet. Taking good care of the gut is really important for emotional regulation- and this may seem unrelated, but personally I've found that following along with foot reflexology videos really helps my whole digestive system. So basically, reflexology has been really helpful for me. Taking care of my body has been really supportive for me, especially salt baths and foot baths. I like to soak my feat in a bowl with bath salts and herbs or green tea. Oh, and grounding helps me a ton, too. I also have some serious breathing problems due to the way my body is shaped. I've found breathing apps to be surprisingly helpful, and I play woodwind instruments, too, which is by far the most helpful for me when it comes to breathing. I let myself rest as much as possible. I try not to be hard on myself about what I'm "supposed" to be doing. I take every morning to just sit, drink tea, journal, listen to the birds outside, and watch YT videos. It also really helps me to have at least my own room by a sanctuary of beauty for me. I make sure that my space is as colorful and filled with beautiful things as possible, from high quality tapestries to high quality incense. So I always have a space that feels magical, no matter how grey and mundane the other places I have to be in. And of course, unmasking is super important. Thats why I make my room a sanctuary of things I love, no matter how unusual they are. Often it feels like the only time I can unmask is alone in my room, so I like it to be a space that facilitates out of the ordinary thinking and being.
I do many of these things too (admittedly not as often as I "should" be haha), and they really help get me back in my body, feeling less tense and more grounded. 😊
Since dropping my decades-old Mask, which I didn't know I was doing, I absolutely love moving and stretching now. We have no idea how chained we were by conformity, until we manage to get ourselves free.
I’m working on fixing my Ed but since I used that to regulate myself it’s been a struggle to find alternatives. Thank you for making this video I was thinking of giving up. I need professional help but I don’t have the money to get it. Thanks for the help ❤
Please don’t feel like giving up, I’m so happy the video gave you motivation. I’m somebody who’s severely emotionally abused, it kinda bums me out when I see someone feeling defeated 😔. And I’m not saying, don’t give up, for me, but I just want all of us to make it ❤
@@TismunitedJust wanted to say that recognising you have an ED is already a HUGE step. On top of that, you've ALSO already identified that one of its functions was helping you regulate. Not easy to find alternatives when you've had a go to that was so effective (albeit one that has a high cost) but you can do it!
i noticed that a lot of these are things i used to be doing all the time as a kid. arm swinging, eye movements, moving myself in the opposite direction. ill definitely be doing more of those now
Omg I do everything you described in this video exactly the same im also Audhd and i also suffer from chronic Tmj pain for years, one thing ive leanred is you can add like voice exercises while stretching your face and neck and the vibration really helps rleaxing these muscles and also opening up the throat!! thank you so much for your videos they are gold!!!!!
Wrote this a while back and forgor to post it. Since writing this, I've yet to do the best at this but it's still on my mind. ----- I'm glad I found this video tonight. These are all things I know I should be doing for myself and yet I have always felt like they were just another thing I had to do as a result of living under capitalism. Not sure exactly what, but something about the way you presented these things I have heard a million times before, got through to me. Taking care of myself isn't just another chore. It's not another job. Work & capitalism are certainly the reason my conditions are so severe, but why have I always felt like self-care was tied to that as well? It's something I deserve to do, not something I have to do. Again, I have no clue what you said that was different, but thank you.
This was more helpful than I expected. I relate so much to what you've said. When I was in a really dark place all the self-help techniques seemed so fake and useless, but I simply wasn't ready to start getting better. I found that kindness towards myself was the primary thing I had to work on in order to be a happy human. I never thought that stopping to take in the nature and life surrounding me could be considered stimming. I've had ppl complain that I'm in the way or too slow bc I stopped to look at a beautiful tree (or whatever), but I find that I enjoy being alive way more when I allow myself to just look at the world around me.
I also have those same issues with jaw popping and neck, it's so annoying sometimes. thanks for the tips for regulation, it feels realy good afterwards
i do like 90% of this:) the way i think of it is that i have to practice using all the different circuits in my brain so that they don't fade out. i feel like my mind has high plasticity - it is easy for me to learn new things, grasp new ideas - but i also have to make sure that i don't forget the basics. i do breathing exercises; streching & mobility exercises; moving my eyes around (combined with focusing far and near); when i'm sitting for a long time i'll stand up look around and try to really understand what i'm seeing, sort of representing it in a 3d space in my mind; shaking my body and letting it loose - i especially like letting my upper body loose when riding my bike; and i really try to take a walk every day. i started paying serious attention to doing these things regularly not so long ago (after i reached a really nasty low point due to family troubles) and they've made me much more stable.
"There's so little things in this world that will do right by you, do right by us, we have to be our number one advocate " This hit me so hard.. , I keep coming back to this video to remind myself to practice regulating my nervous system, I truly hope everyone who needs this video finds it.
19:42 I think it has more to do with what the people expected as they clicked on the video. To them it might seem like a click bait since they wanted to explore options in specifically autistic category which I know sounds vague but that's the best I can describe it atm. So maybe when you talk about getting in tune with oneself it's a bit frustrating to them as in their heads it's really just off topic and again maybe they've done the inner work and are just out there tryna see what has practically worked for others. Some people do better with lists myself included. Nonetheless, love ur work Irene ❤ You're one of the finest ones out there! Glad to have you on the platform.
I think that you have very calming voice. For me when I feel stressed and overwhelmed it's just enough to listen to you. As an kind of autistic person I can relate to the way you think and I can take some real advices from you. Thank you ❤️
This is super in line with where I am at going through all kinds of struggles l, all of these little things add up and it is validating to know that I'm on the right track with all of what I have been doing, all the things that I have found to work for me to get some air while sometimes feeling like I'm drowning in struggle😊
I am wiccan and I do reiki a lot. Years ago I read about emotional freedom technique and just like five months ago I remembered about it. Then I recently remembered it again and I'm going to try it because I have alcohol abuse and it's getting bad and harmful. It feels good to tap parts of your body as you say a mantra. Or just tap your body without saying anything feels good too. I guess it would be stimming. I do lots of energy work as a wiccan so I'm really into healing. By the way I love your videos and I rewatch them sometimes too lol. They are so informative
I had one night where I had to get up early for my retail job. Could not sleep AT ALL. No matter what I did- listening to podcasts, getting up and reading elsewhere, breathing, I could not calm down and it made me even more anxious than I already was. I then remembered a redditor mention something similar you said about practicing eye movements. At first, I felt really silly doing it, but it helped knock me out after about 5-10 min. It was like my mind finally took a break in thinking and I felt myself relax into a slumber. It's almost crazy to me how the simplest of actions can help regulate us
We need those beginning visuals more!!!!!!! Please 🙏 🙏 🙏 Those are like my oxygen cylinders now!! If possible pls make a whole film including that scenery, it's beautifullllll, what place is that? That actually regulated me!!!!
This is a much needed topic, thank you so much. Thank you as well for the stern but sensitive reminder that we have to be the one to make the changes, even if our nervous system is trying to reject the good. I know no one is going to do it for me but now I feel like I have the power to push through that uncomfortable state as my body learns to be regulated. Especially when you mentioned that you used to struggle with dissociation and alexithymia but that you have worked through that now. It gave me so much hope to hear that. When I truly think about it, I think I have spent a lot of time unknowingly dysregulated and I don't want that to be my future. We all deserve to spend more time with inner peace and joy! Aside from this, if you could, would you mind elaborating on what your go to breath work exercises are? I know deep belly breathing is important but if you have anything else you've found helpful I'd love to know. Thank you again!
Outstanding video!!! So cool you are including visual and other neurology drills to regulate yourself! So many things to do with vestibular work, cranial nerve work, breathing and movement!!! (Facial stretches, tongue stretches are technically cranial nerve work) I wish more people know about this kind of stuff.
Thank you for the soothing first few seconds of the video. I've been on the edge of a bad meltdown for days and the videos I've tried to watch on self-soothing techniques were so loud and jarring that it made me want to scream. I'm so glad you're here and sharing your techniques with us.
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. It really resonated with me. I'm disregulated almost all the time it seems so these were great reminders about simple methods to incorporate. I'm glad you mentioned a holistic approach at the end because that truly is the key. And it's frustrating because we all want a quick fix. Unfortunately it doesn't work like you said. I'm glad you talked extensively about the breathing. I have been struggling with this for a long time as well. I wake up gasping for air (this could also be sleep apnea). My chest is really and hurts. I usually wake up in a panic so I completely feel you when you say it's no fun. I may need to consider looking into the shape of my jaw as well (i have a deviated septum too). Thank you again for sharing your story. I feel crazy sometimes and it's comforting to find others out here in the interweb. Haha. Much healing and peace to you. ❤️
Loved every single recommendation Irene; especially the face one...actually needed to hear that right now *relaxes face*. Wishing you Great Health and Continous Healing 🙏
your videos have helped me so much to understand myself!!! SO MUCH! like before I started watching your content I barely even understood my autism diagnosis & what it actually meant & my stims etc. THANK YOUUU FOR BEING YOUU!
these are such great tips, thank you!! i also have really bad jaw tension and sleep with trex arms and never realized the implications of them, or that such little actions could help so much
Hi Irene! Loved the gentle vibes of this video! I really loved your video you did a few months ago where you reacted to bad advice! Would love to see a part 2 as I think you always bring up such good discussion points!
Very interesting, thank you! I tend to be skeptical about all body-care things and procrastinate them, because the benefits seem to me not so visible and not immediate. But you discussed a lot the why and the how in a way that made me think. It also show how much intentional effort we have to put into EVERYTHING in our life... even breathing. It's exausting.
I love your content and thank you for opening my mind to new ideas and pointing things out that have always been true for me! It's so cool seeing people's odd physical techniques for relaxing because absurd movements are the most relaxing to me, but the hardest to practice due to the fear of being perceived... I'm currently in the difficult spot of finding new coping methods as a newly pregnant person, who previously only depended on cannabis all day for a decade to regulate. Dance has been the best alternative but right now it feels like I have to shake off a year of stiffness to start dancing. Wish me and my anxious baby luck s
19:53 Thank you so much for your videos. That’s exactly what I’ve been telling my psychologist who tries to give me quick fixes for things. Gosh, finally someone said it!!! ❤
This video has helped me understand dis regulation on deeper level and I feel so seen in this experience of Autism, picking up on it for first time in my life. The overstimulation is real out here so thank you I needed this 💖💖💖👀 thanks for eye tip 👀
i just watched the end where you talk about people saying 'where's the list'😅 and i just wanted to say that i really appreciate these videos for NOT doing that. i looked up your videos after giving up on another therapist i was seeking help from for mainly issues i've developed from a lifetime of masking and had the experience of the therapist cutting me off while i was trying to express my feelings (about people shutting me down when i tried to express my feelings as a kid, the irony) to tell me what she had determined i should focus on, and what i should do. i feel like people shoving a list in my face of what i should do that i do not relate to at all and does not help me is all the "professional" help i've gotten seems interested in. i really appreciate you using your personal experience to guide other people to use their own knowledge and intuition to find their own way. my experiences in therapy having felt so demeaning and i appreciate your videos that offer support that doesnt take away agency!
This vid is a great reminder to get back into what helped me in the past. I often find things that are helpful, but I often get distracted or forgetful and then I end up back where I started. Gonna start working on breathing exercises every morning. Thanks for the great vid!
I can also relate to dealing with a chronic health condition, I find my physical state directly effects my mental health and maybe being on the spectrum emphasises the connection if that makes sense
i relate to so much here. being more sensitive yet more adaptive, needing to start my day with self care and to have ample time to not feel rushed and neurotic, waking up with lots of anxiety and breathing as if i was catching my breath. the morning after i went to my first breathwork session i woke up and could drink water and breathe normally. it was so refreshing. but didn't last more than a day or two- i want to go another time then develop a regular practice. whether i need to do it daily, or at least every other week like my instructor does herself, that will be something to figure out *and not skimp out on*. i've been considering seeing an ENT as well, especially after someone said they could breath like a normal person and had more energy, and even more so after you described similar symptoms and about how you plan to go through with surgery. 🌬️ i also do want to be stretching every morning, but have been having trouble carving out enough time and forming the habit. but i know it's so important for my body. i want to get that curve cushion too as ~i done slouched a lot~ and have quite a curved spine and some diagonal plates which sometimes cause pain. i haven't tried EMDR but what you said reminds me of the eye strain and disorientation i feel after staring at a screen for too long, and purposely breaking away to 'stretch' my eye sockets sounds nice. face stretches- yes! gah, just stretch everything lol. i went to my first sound healing recently as well, and the two things i took from it were a reminder that i can get to the place of no thoughts if i really give it time, and that i need to stretch out my face! i noticed tension there and kept correcting it over and over, and while it got better it seemed to never go away- until i just put my hands on my face and rubbed it. aaah i'll try to relax my arms more and see if that's a thing for me. and nature is so regenerative and doesn't seem to ask for anything back (at least not until we decompose), so we should take advantage of that free peace. 💚 natural light- i love waking up with it. if i have to wake up in the dark it feels SO WRONG, but losing my job feels wrong-er. i really wish for more flexibility in standard jobs on start time so we can have our goddam morning to regulate and show up better. and yes, truly meandering in a meditative state and giving that hyper-perceptive mode a rest. ugh, basically 'ditto' to everything. so glad you put all these things out to help others. i'm sending this to my breathwork instructor and a women's group i've been a part of. thank you! ❤️
I love your advice! I already go for walks everyday, and I live right next to the forest so I can go for walks relatively undisturbed since most people stay in the city. there's a rope with a stick on it to use as a swing and I use this to swing and spin around every single time I pass it, and not only is it fun but it is so soothing! Also I would like to recommend Journaling! Doesnt have to be anything fancy, if you're like me then actual journaling gets super boring due to the adhd but the autism and my mental health in general still benefit so much from it! The solution is to carry a super small journal book thingie, and a pen and then just write the most important things. I am Diagnosed with OCD aswell so I use this journal for OCD thoughts wich makes them go into the book and out of my head. I use it for anything I wanna remember or just random things that i think of and think is cool and worth writing down and so on! Just short and to the point. It helps so much. Also didnt think of the being in silence thing! It does make alot of sense though! I listen to music basicly 24/7 to be able to cope and shut other sounds and such out.
Irene tysm for sharing 🌟 advice content is especially no BS - because what you share is the result of years of trial-and-error - so I admire the resilience and work it took to make this video! I deleted tiktok today after a while of knowing it was 100% contributing to my disregulation, so this is the video I needed!! The part on not wanting to help yourself really hit home - I used to think my behaviour was not bad enough to qualify as "not helping myself". This video brought the nuance I needed to see that it really was that bad, and it helped me see the many unsustainable habits I built to cope with disregulation since I was young. Clearly super helpful and eye opening! And hearing this topic framed in a nervous system context helped pathologize it which makes it much easier to apply to myself without shame/judgement. I'll be trying the advice I'd usually roll my eyes at these next weeks lol, I think it's finally time 🌟
Bless you omg you don’t know how much I needed this!! My mental health has been off the charts lately and had a horrible panic attack yesterday… I forgot how easy it is to regulate myself and I did that for a while but then I stopped :( I gotta do these things every day and I’ve been doing the eye movement unconsciously, it does really help! It’s so true that it’s easier to stay miserable… it’s all about consistency if I wanna have my nervous system regulated, there’s been a lot going on so I REALLY needed this reminder ❤
I really like this video thank you so much. Particularly appreciate what you say about eye movement, I notice when i’m in conversation with people and taking walks my eyes go all over the place and can have a hard time feeling like I should suppress it/ keep my eyes in one place. I did EMDR a few years ago with a therapist, will definitely incorporate the eye movements in my evening downtime
Au here! been doing the facial messages first as a way to tone/sculpt my face, but it soon became a new stim that really truly helps regulate myself. I’m more in tune with my body’s needs and it’s empowered me to just stim and move with out fear. Super recommend ✌️😋
It took me a bit but I’m very grateful that you don’t “just tell us what to do” but rather HOW to do it. I mean, my brain HATES that I have to figure it out for myself but that’s the point and I do feel my brain coming around (slowly. cautiously). It’s new and unknown and I want answers but thank you for teaching instead. Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for life. (Readies self) now for the hard part…doing it 😬
Thank you. I’m going to do slowly try everything in this video and keep what works for me. And I’m so glad you’re doing what you need to be okay. Hope the surgery goes smoothly ❤
Thank you for this message. A big part of me is always looking for a quick fiix but I think I’ve reached a point in my life, health, and overall journey that this is about being present and getting in tune with myself and that what works this week might not work next week. I have to keep exploring, adapting, and most of all being present for myself. Thank you so much. It’s so funny because I have tried all of these things at one point or other and they have made me feel good but I just give up or think it’s silly or “forget” about how much these tools helped. Btw, I downloaded the sandwich planner. It’s kind of like what I was creating for mysel just a lot slower and in a clumsier manner. Your video truly helped me face that I am different and that I can’t go on dumping all of these to do lists on myself and then watching myself fail. I’m done. The planner was so validating and it provided guidance that I need to structure my day/ week. Thank you ❤.
Thank you so much! My body is telling me I'm repressing (AKA constant migraines, starting behind my right eye) and when you talked about the eye movements I realized that this is a stim I repress constantly. I have had a bit of stress lately and I find it so difficult (and frustrating) to get a sense of when I go into repression-mode. Hopefully this awareness will help me further on my journey to better health!
Do you think you could expand on this topic of self regulation skills but with a focus on hyposensitivity? Experiencing norm stimuli as very dull, flat, and lifeless makes it more difficult to process what's going on around you, but there is a lack of information online on hyposensitivity thats practical for adults to implement.
I suspect one of my family members is hyposensitive autistic. He is a teenager now, but when he was little, he loved to ram his tricycle full speed into a closed metal clad door, or my legs, or outdoors into a tree. He also had no problem screaming a lot, even well after gaining his speech. His grandpa used to sometimes worry his screams would cause neighbors to call CPS. Not that they ever did, and in any case, the boy was completely unhurt, just displeased.
I sometimes went out for walks in the countryside when I felt the need to. I haven't done this for months now becasue for me even nature can be overwhelming. The noises that rivers and birds and the wind make are very intense and tiring. Also I'd like to be alone when I need to, but that's just not possible outside becasue there is always someone walking their dogs, or jogging, or having a party, or riding a bike every day at every hour. Even at night. I'm naturally anxious whenever I see a stranger approaching. I try not to leave my room if possible becasue that's the only place where I can find some degree of silence and tranquility. I occasionally tried to go further during my strolls and walk into some actual woods and I felt immensely better, but walking that far is still tiring and I can't do it all year round. Sometimes I felt the need to sing at the top of my voice and let it all out so to speak. I treid cycling to isolated places at night to do so without annoying anyone but there were still bassersby every five minutes and I felt embarrassed and irritated. I also can't handle stimuli in the morning after staying up. I need to do things calmly and silently at least for an hour or two to give my brain time to get things into order. My alarm sound is the opening track of Banco's 1978 album "Di Terra", a very mellow orchestral theme. I used to have the terror of alarm clocks as a teenager because conventional ones wreck havoc with my brains. When I'm home I never listen to music unless I really feel the need to listen to something in particular. I don't know if it has to do with anything but I also occasionally like to play the piano. I never took music courses and I'm no professional musician but it brings me joy to just play a couple of songs that I like every so often. This is by no means a fixed habit. I can go on a month without ever touching a keyboard. I too have alexithymia and I have no idea how I feel nine times out of ten. Hunger and thirst are a gamble. I feel stuck every day even though I have hundreds of things I could do. Ever since I discovered tarot cards I feel the need once in a while to take them out and lay a deck and see what the present has in store. I don't believe in magic or anything, but I'm very sensitive and when I shuffle the cards I get a feeling in my body when it's time to stop and put them down. I'm very impressed when every time the cards relate to something that happened to me last day or even that is happening right now. That's the easiest way I have to actually realize what I'm goind through in a particular moment. I have a book about tarots where I read about the meaning of every card I picked every time. I can't remember what the cards mean because they relate to many very abstract and emotional concepts that I simply can't wrap my head about, but my book also contains practical examples that make them more accessible. I visually stim all the time and I'm never gonna stop. I don't care what the others think about eye contact and stuff. Thank you for this video and happy autism awareness day. (it's April 2nd In Europe as I watch this)
Ooh, I considered getting tarot cards a couple years ago, but there are so many different decks, I couldn't decide on which one would be best for me, supposedly you need to pick a deck that you feel drawn to, but I didn't feel a "connection" to any particular deck when I looked at them. How did you go about choosing your deck?
@@oksanakaido8437 Well well well... I discovered tarots back in late 2020. I think I was doing some research on numerology and than I happened to read the history of the tarot cards. I frankly don't remember what happened but I was looking for a nice concept for an album I was planning to write and I liked the idea of writing songs about each individual card. At the time I din't know any of the amazing albums written in the seventies on the same topic. But anyway, I told my mother about tarots, which means I info-dumped the whole history of tarots and whatnot, so consider yourself lucky if I don't do it here too. She brought me a set of major arcana she had bought in her youth and forgot about completely for decades. They are called Taro Gatti (tarot-cats). They are very cute cards where the subjects have been replaced by stylized black cats. I first began using them for my decks untill again my mother found a 1971 edition of the classic Rider-Waite-Smith tarots. Now I have four different decks that I like including the Crowley deck but they are mostly for my ego. I only use the Rider-Waite-Smith deck for my readings because it features a higher level of detail compared to most other tarot decks and that goes a long way into helping me visualise the profoundness of the subjects. They also include figures instead of numbers on the minor arcana, which again is helpful since minor arcana also hold a deeper meaning than most would admit. When Waite and Smith designed those cards they put a lot of obvious masonic and esoteric references into them but also generally broadened the capacity of the visual medium though all sorts of innocent details. In those cards nothing is random. A lot of research went into them. If in a card you see flowers of a particular species it is becasue that particular flower species has a meaning related to the card. The same goes for tiny animals that might be passing through the scene for no apparent reason. In the end, I grew comfortable with the imagery used in the Rider-Waite-Smith cards and most new decks are heavily based on them anyway so to me it makes more sense to directly use the original thing. Though at the end of the day every tarot deck bears the same meaning regardless of what is drawn on it, the secret to reading tarots is to understand your cards and what aspect of life they underline. You are always the one in charge, not the cards. You could use pokemon figurines for all that matters as long as you find a way to associate them with the concepts described by tarots.
I'm 26 and the face and arm stuff is new to me but other than that I have ended up all of the same regulation methods you mention. I used meditate and do breathwork once in a while as a teen but I felt like I wasn't made for it because my mind would always wander and it was hard to sit still. However, I started reading more about Buddhism and listening to dharma talks which deepened my practice and helped me understand how important things like meditation, mindfulness, and silence are particularly as someone with AuDHD. Thanks for the video
I do about 20 minutes yoga after waking up, and also massage my face/jaw/neck before bed. On days when my mental health is really bad, I might do a guided breathwork routine and/or EFT tapping (I use their tapping solution app and even though the free options are limited, I find it's a good quick way to shift my mental state at least somewhat). The tips about moving your eyes throughout the day and keeping arms relaxed are great, I try to do those as well but often forget, so thanks for the reminder.
Those things do sound as though they are too simple to work the way you need them to, but they really do. It's like looking at your mind as though it's a house and all the contents. The worse you feel, the more full the house seems to be. And looking at a full house that needs to be organised and tidied seems like a mammoth task. But concentrating on one room first, or one task or one area of one room and continuing that way moving forwards, seems much easier to manage. You're almost retraining your mental pathways and reforming them, to focus on positives as opposed to negatives 💙💙💙
Your videos are always so spot on for me! I have diagnosed ADHD and questioning ASD, and all of the things you’ve mentioned are what’s gotten me through the past couple of years of health issues from receiving incorrect diagnoses and having long COVID. Thank you for sharing!
I knew a lot of this already (except tongue stretches - that's so smart!) but hearing it all together is SUCH a good reminder of little things I can be doing throughout the day to help me stay present and regulated. Thank you for this video. I really hope I can make a habit of these techniques, any advice for how to stick with it would be super helpful. AuDHD makes me forget what's good for me :')
This was really thoughtful. For a long time, i used to find so many things as corny, and not real solutions. Until i started using them. Corny works. And also my caveman brain is scared of change, so chalking it up to corny makes it easier to avoid!! I have been thinking alot of quick-fix and innovation. Spending many years in the self-improvement and minimalism space on CZcams. Watching lots of “new behaviours or actions” that are “life changing” but two years later they arent using them. Not to judge the person, but its made me aware. Quick fixes are fun and exciting, but rarely work long term. Like politics, most things cannot be fixed with a bandaid. They need deep considered, consistent and structural changes.
"Don't let our capatlistic society trick you into thinking that you have to pay for your sense of peace and regulation". I love this!!!!!
Yes I have been noticing myself feeling understimulated and wanting to use my phone more and then being overstimed by my phone usage! I've been really struggling with intentional silence but as my therapist says baby steps!!
Same. I use the phone now as a reward system and not as entertainment. Meaning i listen to yt when im doing house tasks or getting ready to go out...
limiting screen use is so key.
Timetables
5:54 Breathwork
8:14 Gentle mornings
12:56 Eye movements
14:08 Face stretches
15:34 Relaxed arms
Thank you 🫶🏼
+
honestly what is your skincare 🥲🫠🌸
I have adhd but most of the information for people with adhd is how to be more productive, use calendars and timers. I don’t want to be more productive, I want to be healthy and happy and balanced and I so appreciate the audhd community looking at things a different way ❤ my son is autistic and I want to teach him every tool to regulate and enjoy life and I inadvertently have learned to take care of myself more too ❤️
100%, if I "get my morning wrong I'm dysregulated the rest of the day" ... I'm 50yrs old and I'm *just* learning how to put words to that. I've been accidentally stumbling over little things that help me put my morning together in ways that don't set me up/load the dice for failure &/or shutdown, over the last 3 years, but only within the last few months have I really started to realize how those hard-won partial bits of understanding about myself need me to make them full-on boundaries.
I'm not a morning person and I've spent my entire life trying to find ways of not having to wake up at an early hour... but it turns out that ideally, I *need* to get up early so I can gently unroll these little bits of non-negotiable morning routine, so that I can be "ready" to tackle all the shit I struggle with that other people call "life."
If I don't get up earlier than I ever thought I'd choose to set the alarm for, my morning routine can take me until 11am or something ridiculous (on a not-great day when I need to invest extra time into it) and then I don't have time in the business day (or daylight left for gardening), to get the stuff done that if I don't tackle it, causes me significant problems by one means or another.
I have to go to bed way earlier than I'd have ever imagined would be my choice (I've always been a night owl) but a med I take for other things makes me drowsy and helps that process. So long as I can remember/convince myself to take it when I should, lol!
But I'm getting there.
It's an utter revelation to have realized that *I* need a lengthy morning routine when most of the years of my life I've slept until the last possible minute, rolled out of bed, and thrown myself into the day (to varying levels of success but mostly, I can now see, just wearing myself thin).
This. Im cranky in the morning if i have to rush. I need the most silence possible and to do my routine or im completely disregulated.
Me too. I need my morning routine. I wake at 4 a.m., so am in bed by 8 p.m.
@@maryhill3948 🫣 congratulations though. I have severe insomnia. I had times where i slept at 4 am and started worked at 8am 😓
yo this video is legit helping me rn more than I expected thank you fr. Like i so glad your talking about specific stretching, ie EMDR eye movements or face muscles. A huge thing thats been game changing for me is having a consistent diet but that w sleeping and stretching really is so important for us esp with hypersensitive feelings. its also super relatable because i went for a long run on our local bike path and i literally just let myself get discarated stare at nature aka meandering. We need to let ourselves get distracted intentionally sometimes. thank you for your vids!
This is such a great message 😊. Love everything you said here
Agree so wholeheartedly, I feel exactly the same. I’ve been doing a lot of those things daily now and in combination with many other factors I’m feeling soooo much better and just so present for myself and my loved ones. However i had never considered the eye movement or face stretching and am excited to add that into the mix :)
This is so bizarre! Years and years of trial and error and stumbling into things lol I have found most of these exact things work for me as well. Stretching, eye movement, gentle mornings, walking, breathe work, sitting in silence... all are necessary to help me begin regulating.
I do all of these things in my own space and they are very personal. No one knows about these little innocuous, inconspicuous practices. Not many people understand or are consciously aware of how much work is needed to keep from being overloaded.
This content is awesome. It blows my mind that we do the same things lol
That’s the thing, these things are so small and so simple that it could only matter to you cause you’re the one who feels it. It’s not anything special or grandiose or expensive
Same here! it's like we had the same guide through this... It's amazing that somebody else does these discrete things just like me.
....I've never been diagnosed with ADHD, but I've always had to do many of these practices in order to feel "right". I never noticed my "T-rex" arms, but I'm totally going to try meandering on my walks and swinging my arms. Also, the eye stretches! I've always thought that facial massages sounded like annoying "how to look prettier" advice, but as a way to soothe my jaw muscles that are constantly clenched, it makes sense! Thanks for the holistic, principal-focused advice. Great content.
The beginning footage is spectacular, wowwwwwwww 😭 🙌🏻 Love from a fellow AuDHD girlie 🌸
I definitely notice that thing where instead of just using visual/audio stimulation to get through tasks in a healthy way, I end up doing it constantly to drown out my own thoughts because I'm dysregulated and not acknowledging it. Allowing quiet times is such a big project but such an important one.
This channel and the community is such a beautiful haven of understanding 💛
Amazing vid thank you for this resource!!
I'm working on this consistent regulation at the moment and the eye movement thing is a great idea!! I've silenced myself a lot through my life with my masking so I also do a lot of noise making, growling and silent screaming which helps me a lot.
I’ve had my septum fixed. I’ve had a lot of surgeries and that one was the easiest. For a week it feels not good… but after the follow up appointment and the doctor removes these giant things from inside your nose and you can finally breath. *BEST FEELING EVER!!! Being able to breath on both sides of your nose, no longer mouth breathing anytime I need more air , breathing more quietly so it doesn’t distract me or others, it’s amazing! So totally worth it!
I had a coworker who had to replace her top and bottom jaw for extreme pain and migraines. It started with braces and then 2 big surgeries. It was such a long road for her but a decade later she still posts about how life changing it was and how she would do it all again in a heart beat. Her life is so much better now.
I hope all of your breathing issues get better once you have your septum and jaw fixed.
Just scheduled the septoplasty for this month. So excited to breathe!! This comment made me excited
Had the same surgery the relief is amazing!!
@@thethoughtspot222my friend recovered very fast from septum surgery and i think it will be good for you as well. I wish you to get better soon
Also had a septoplasty and other bits in my sinuses. Now I can breathe when I lie on my back!!
I think the T-rex position is about proprioception. the tension helps us stay connected. I do that with my legs, unfortunately. always twisting them around each other or chairs. dissociating instantly if I don't.
Same. I thought everybody sat weird but then I look around and I'm like ahhh ok lol 😂
I too am guilty of this
I took a walk after watching the video and realized I t-rex pose more than I thought. Then I started reading the comments and saw this and noticed the way my legs were twisted around each other.
skincare in the morning sounds way better than at night ;-; I'm going to try this out
Forreal, at the end of the night I’m so pooped (zero spoons) that I just take a baby wipe to the face 😅
I think it’s valuable that you want to look inward and help the self, not for the “fix”. Nobody is coming to save us. We aren’t going to wake up different one day. We are going to keep being here until we aren’t, and important to take every day as it comes and find what works to keep yourself regulated. It helps to understand that many of us likely struggle with permanence and can easily fall into thinking we’ve fixed it and now we are done, hooray. It’s not that way. We do have to put effort into ourselves like this out of love for us and our needs. In truth I think most people are really asking “what will make me normal” and not “how can I handle not being normal” because we want so badly to be relinquished of the tiring effort it is to be here. But this kind of approach is what makes that unavoidable process any more doable.
The way you said we have to be ready to surrender to the possibility of a better way to live really resonated with me. I have a turbulent relationship with hope as I’m sure many of us do. I’ve been surviving via dissociation and distraction - it feels safe. But lately, I’ve been reevaluating whether it’s actually working for me because I’m exhausted all the time even though I’ve transitioned to working from home and have more control over my environment. I’m significantly more regulated than I was before going into work daily, but I’m still exhausted all the time, my sleep is terrible and I dread getting out of bed in the morning. For the longest time I’ve believed this is as good as it’s gonna get. I just have to radically except that I’m going to feel this way forever. Then I found your channel. Your videos have helped me realize that there is possibility. Of all the autistic content creators, your channel brings me this feeling of peace and fills me with this sense of openness. Like I can let go of some of the cynicism and surrender to possibility.
Getting diagnosed with, and treating sleep apnea has made a really big difference for me.
How were you able to find a work from home job? It seems so difficult and competitive to get one. I have such a hard time being at work for 9 hours a day 😭
@@arimaybe4404 Re: working home, I work for an academic medical center and before COVID I was going into the office everyday. When they sent all of us nonessential employees home, most office space was taken over for clinical care so the folks like myself working remotely were told we are now remote workers and coming to campus is optional. So I just got lucky. I really wish I had some advice or something helpful to offer. 😔 Do you work in an IT field by chance? Or live in the pacific northwest? I can check to see if there’s any open positions at my institution. They allow fully-remote staff to live anywhere in the US.
For me, there are nature walks, and free online classes in yoga and qigong. I plan to relearn the Tai Chi Yang long form, which I haven’t done in over two decades.
... reading this prompted my heart to leap. idk if it will work, but I think I'd like to try switching out some of the "I'm almost ready to tackle something *light* but productive" part of my morning routine with Tai Chi.
One of the last remaining road bumps in my "omg, have I found a routine that works for me?" routine (I'm a person for whom routine has always been a disaster) is that sometimes I still feel a bit creaky when I'm otherwise ready to get going. Haven't felt happy when I tried yoga or "non-yoga stretching" in that slot. But thinking about Tai Chi *feels* good.
I have much more experience with yoga than I do Tai Chi, but I had a beginner class instruction and enjoyed it and am very willing to learn slowly on my own in my living room.
... thanks for sharing!
I'm so proud and grateful for the effort and time this individual and ones like her put in helping us understand ourselves more😭😻☺️
You are beautiful. I am learning so much from you. My son is 22 and was diagnosed at age 19. I have so much to learn.
I respect you so much for looking into it and for validating your son. I wish I had that when I was diagnosed. Wishing you well 💗
I tend to take walks often, until this video I never suspected it was my body asking for it. My impulse for walks comes literally out of nowhere like "Ok I finished this task, let's go for a walk"
Stretching is also a very good piece of advice, even for neurotypicals, specially helpful for desk-jobs
Um. I listen to podcasts like crazy. Some days, like you said, i wake up and *need* to put a podcast on to get me out of bed. But regardless, i am listening to podcasts for all of my "boring tasks", constantly throughout the day, like the same episodes again and again through the years bc they're comforting...and i cannot believe i never put together that it's a stim. It makes so much sense now.
After a lifetime of high stress, I now use the neurotransmitter L-theanine and the herb morning glory root, which helps a great deal with my anxiety. Because psychiatric drugs didn't do a thing for me ever.
Which, my diagnostician told me, is common.
Your channel is called the Thought Spot so I’m glad you frame things in a way that makes me THINK about what is right for me. Also thank you for this one in particular. You said a lot of things I needed to hear.
as a chronically ill ADHD autistic who juggles POTS with MCAS (and occasional gastrointestinal issues and uveitis/arthritis), and someone who has just learnt that I might have EoE as I am going through a hefty pollen-induced inflammation and reflux, I really needed this video right now. I was just recently wondering if dedicating 20 mins every night to unwind and stim made sense. that was before the current flare. now I know, huge daily stress should be counteracted by huge rest. there's no other way, it's simple maths.
Whats MCAS? I have ankylosing spondilitis (it mimicks arthritis in some aspects but attacks the spine harder, i had uveitis once and it really sucked) and yeah i need to move but not too much. Its hard to balance rest and activity to keep the pain manageable. And im with allergy now too. I hope it slows down by itself...i dont like anti histaminics. I will only take if i start to be too tired walking outside. Im already crying from my eyes and my nose lol 😂
Did you heard about quercetin? A natural antihistaminic? I give it a try now after readind a lot about it.
MCAS manager (I don't want to feel a victim) here, too. Somehow the last decade had so many revelation that were all like "holy shit, now it all makes sense!!!" but somehow it is terribly hard to find good doctors or practitioners in Germany, who are willing to do their research and willing to give you credits or at least the benefit of the doubt. These conditions come with so much need for pacing and adaptation to be able to run a "normal" life. As if one of those conditions weren't enough. And overall: THEY ARE INVISIBLE!!!! INVISIBLE ILLNESS = "Imagined" illness seems to be the easy way out for clinicians, GPs and less empathic medical staff. Jesus, I just want to have better tests and screenings. It would have saved me stress and the fear of another useless doctor's appointment....
@@margilvi5890 Ketotifen and other mast cell stabilizers are fine, too. Not sure about the actual bioavailability of isolated quercetin plus you have to be careful about highly processed foods that aren't actually controlled like other meds. They can contain weird stuff. So an apple a day might be the better option ;) My personal opinion
I'm undiagnosed with adhd and autism. But I have poTs and gastro issues too. And lately, I've been skimping on doing my stretches/exercises/etc.
I actually like sitting in silence in the morning
Just wanted to say thank you for making this video! I’m late-diagnosed autistic and this made me realise how de-regulated I have been for years. Already seeing some small positive changes in how I feel, almost like my mind is clearer somehow 🙏
YES! Also, daily Gua Sha has helped my jaw tension and headaches so much!! Also letting someone hold your elbows with bent arms. It feels so nice... To me lol maybe it takes tension off the shoulders and neck
Oh… my heart sank when I saw your video drop right as I was logging off the internet 😩. And I had just finished watching another video by you, the one about your childhood traits pre-diagnosis, I really loved that one as well 😊
Can I start by saying, I’m sorry you go through so much with your body, in any regular day. I thought it was just the chronic pain, but you sometimes struggle with breathing as well…😢. Everything you talk about on your channel really does come from a place of love. When you always say “make sure to stay regulated” at the end of every video, I didn’t realize how far that went for you.
It’s beautiful that you understand yourself so well, I’m sure it wasn’t easy, but you made a lot of progress. I love meandering walks, too 😊, the body stretches are such great advice, the eye movement thing I first heard about it on natgeo, I’m so happy it helps you out.
I hope there’s people in your family that recognize all the good work that you do here on CZcams. As somebody who lost their dad earlier on, I live everyday like I want to make him proud of me. I hope there’s people in your life proud of your beautiful soul.
PS: you look extra pretty in this video, definitely taking good care of your skin ☺️
One of the best ways I regulate myself, which I know is scary for many people, is going to the gym and doing an intense training. Helps A LOT with repressed emotions and anxiety.
Disengaging from and not reacting to negative, unrealistic people brings peace and control to my life. As soon as I stop giving them the expected response and give them none instead, it either makes them think twice about changing their ways, or they give up the association altogether. Most of the time, these people are painfully unaware or lack self-awareness, so they don't change their ways. I have to accept this and move forward without them or with little albeit measured interactions. You can't change the people around you (people themselves), but you can change the people around you (your environment with the people who enter it).
Omggggg this video is RIGHT on time- I had the worst mental health night 2 nights ago. I got to work feeling so stressed I thought I might pass out. When I got moving & started feeling a little more regulated, I noticed my internal resistance to it. Like my consciousness was saying ‘I don’t feel like I want to trust this.’ I felt absurd, finally feeling a little better, and almost not wanting to. It was confusing. I “felt the penny drop” watching this. I’m gonna go for a walk in a few hours.
This video has been online for 15 hours & it’s legitimately saving lives. Hooo, I could cry like when I made it to “amen” on “cowboy carter” lol ❤️ THANK YOU!!!!!!! 😫🥰
Replying to your rant about the comments of your video on autistic folks and jobs at the end: lol She said she not about to do all the work for you 😂 You gotta do SOME of the work for yourself if you want to actually figure out what works for you! And honestly most of the work is internal you can go from job to job following a list and still not be satisfied. You gotta look internally and see what you actually need and want.
My OCD was triggered and i was starting to feel VERY overwhelmed so I am watching this video with my headphones while trying to regulate. Thank you so much, it's just in time!
I’m sorry OCD can get in the way of your normal life
The clip of the bumble bee in the beginning was actually really nice, sometimes we need to stop and watch the bees / smell the roses
The tiktok video in the beginning and what you said after made me tear up because Ive always had a hard time standing up for myself and what I want to do. Whenever I have to protect myself Ive always felt guilty.
Recently I went part time at my job and I already know people will be upset, they already are when someone calls off. But I did this for me and I haven't felt this happy doing something for myself knowing I cant please the other person. This new happy is hard to keep because like the video, im used to feeling on guard....but im trying to open myself to this feeling of happiness so I can feel safe in it
Love these techniques 💛 I've been doing a ton of research on the vagus nerve and ways to regulate the nervous system over the past few years. Some of my favorite techniques I've found are (lightly) massaging the ears to loosen up the ear cartilage- you can try looking up "vagus massage auricular stimulation." Other techniques for stimulating the vagus nerve include singing, toning (Vooooo is a great one,) putting cold stuff on your face (cucumber slices on the eyes is actually super relaxing,) and having a high fiber diet.
Taking good care of the gut is really important for emotional regulation- and this may seem unrelated, but personally I've found that following along with foot reflexology videos really helps my whole digestive system. So basically, reflexology has been really helpful for me.
Taking care of my body has been really supportive for me, especially salt baths and foot baths. I like to soak my feat in a bowl with bath salts and herbs or green tea.
Oh, and grounding helps me a ton, too.
I also have some serious breathing problems due to the way my body is shaped. I've found breathing apps to be surprisingly helpful, and I play woodwind instruments, too, which is by far the most helpful for me when it comes to breathing.
I let myself rest as much as possible. I try not to be hard on myself about what I'm "supposed" to be doing. I take every morning to just sit, drink tea, journal, listen to the birds outside, and watch YT videos.
It also really helps me to have at least my own room by a sanctuary of beauty for me. I make sure that my space is as colorful and filled with beautiful things as possible, from high quality tapestries to high quality incense. So I always have a space that feels magical, no matter how grey and mundane the other places I have to be in.
And of course, unmasking is super important. Thats why I make my room a sanctuary of things I love, no matter how unusual they are. Often it feels like the only time I can unmask is alone in my room, so I like it to be a space that facilitates out of the ordinary thinking and being.
I do many of these things too (admittedly not as often as I "should" be haha), and they really help get me back in my body, feeling less tense and more grounded. 😊
Since dropping my decades-old Mask, which I didn't know I was doing, I absolutely love moving and stretching now. We have no idea how chained we were by conformity, until we manage to get ourselves free.
I’m working on fixing my Ed but since I used that to regulate myself it’s been a struggle to find alternatives. Thank you for making this video I was thinking of giving up. I need professional help but I don’t have the money to get it. Thanks for the help ❤
Please don’t feel like giving up, I’m so happy the video gave you motivation.
I’m somebody who’s severely emotionally abused, it kinda bums me out when I see someone feeling defeated 😔. And I’m not saying, don’t give up, for me, but I just want all of us to make it ❤
@@clivematthews95 thank you I appreciate ❤️ I’m not giving up I promise
@@TismunitedJust wanted to say that recognising you have an ED is already a HUGE step. On top of that, you've ALSO already identified that one of its functions was helping you regulate. Not easy to find alternatives when you've had a go to that was so effective (albeit one that has a high cost) but you can do it!
i noticed that a lot of these are things i used to be doing all the time as a kid. arm swinging, eye movements, moving myself in the opposite direction. ill definitely be doing more of those now
Omg I do everything you described in this video exactly the same im also Audhd and i also suffer from chronic Tmj pain for years, one thing ive leanred is you can add like voice exercises while stretching your face and neck and the vibration really helps rleaxing these muscles and also opening up the throat!! thank you so much for your videos they are gold!!!!!
Wrote this a while back and forgor to post it. Since writing this, I've yet to do the best at this but it's still on my mind.
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I'm glad I found this video tonight. These are all things I know I should be doing for myself and yet I have always felt like they were just another thing I had to do as a result of living under capitalism.
Not sure exactly what, but something about the way you presented these things I have heard a million times before, got through to me. Taking care of myself isn't just another chore. It's not another job. Work & capitalism are certainly the reason my conditions are so severe, but why have I always felt like self-care was tied to that as well? It's something I deserve to do, not something I have to do.
Again, I have no clue what you said that was different, but thank you.
This was more helpful than I expected. I relate so much to what you've said. When I was in a really dark place all the self-help techniques seemed so fake and useless, but I simply wasn't ready to start getting better. I found that kindness towards myself was the primary thing I had to work on in order to be a happy human. I never thought that stopping to take in the nature and life surrounding me could be considered stimming. I've had ppl complain that I'm in the way or too slow bc I stopped to look at a beautiful tree (or whatever), but I find that I enjoy being alive way more when I allow myself to just look at the world around me.
I also have those same issues with jaw popping and neck, it's so annoying sometimes. thanks for the tips for regulation, it feels realy good afterwards
Oof this one is so needed, thank you so much ! I also realize I was doing a lot of those things instinctively as a kid 🥲
looking dewy and radiant in this video whoah 😍
The eye movement I had never thought of! Thank you for sharing your knowledge with all us under regulated peeps out here!
i do like 90% of this:) the way i think of it is that i have to practice using all the different circuits in my brain so that they don't fade out. i feel like my mind has high plasticity - it is easy for me to learn new things, grasp new ideas - but i also have to make sure that i don't forget the basics.
i do breathing exercises; streching & mobility exercises; moving my eyes around (combined with focusing far and near); when i'm sitting for a long time i'll stand up look around and try to really understand what i'm seeing, sort of representing it in a 3d space in my mind; shaking my body and letting it loose - i especially like letting my upper body loose when riding my bike; and i really try to take a walk every day.
i started paying serious attention to doing these things regularly not so long ago (after i reached a really nasty low point due to family troubles) and they've made me much more stable.
“we can’t afford not to do it” UGHHHH this hit me.
"There's so little things in this world that will do right by you, do right by us, we have to be our number one advocate " This hit me so hard.. , I keep coming back to this video to remind myself to practice regulating my nervous system, I truly hope everyone who needs this video finds it.
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I think it has more to do with what the people expected as they clicked on the video. To them it might seem like a click bait since they wanted to explore options in specifically autistic category which I know sounds vague but that's the best I can describe it atm. So maybe when you talk about getting in tune with oneself it's a bit frustrating to them as in their heads it's really just off topic and again maybe they've done the inner work and are just out there tryna see what has practically worked for others. Some people do better with lists myself included. Nonetheless, love ur work Irene ❤
You're one of the finest ones out there! Glad to have you on the platform.
I think that you have very calming voice. For me when I feel stressed and overwhelmed it's just enough to listen to you. As an kind of autistic person I can relate to the way you think and I can take some real advices from you. Thank you ❤️
Literally just experienced a need for regulation techniques. This was great timing
This is super in line with where I am at going through all kinds of struggles l, all of these little things add up and it is validating to know that I'm on the right track with all of what I have been doing, all the things that I have found to work for me to get some air while sometimes feeling like I'm drowning in struggle😊
This was one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever seen. A little can go such a long way! Thank you so much
After viewing this video, I want to be your friend 😢 so sorry you have so much pain with just existing. All the best with your surgery ❤
I am wiccan and I do reiki a lot. Years ago I read about emotional freedom technique and just like five months ago I remembered about it. Then I recently remembered it again and I'm going to try it because I have alcohol abuse and it's getting bad and harmful. It feels good to tap parts of your body as you say a mantra. Or just tap your body without saying anything feels good too. I guess it would be stimming. I do lots of energy work as a wiccan so I'm really into healing. By the way I love your videos and I rewatch them sometimes too lol. They are so informative
It was really interesting to realize I already do a lot of this but didn't realize or know why so this video was validating to me in that way.
I had one night where I had to get up early for my retail job. Could not sleep AT ALL. No matter what I did- listening to podcasts, getting up and reading elsewhere, breathing, I could not calm down and it made me even more anxious than I already was. I then remembered a redditor mention something similar you said about practicing eye movements.
At first, I felt really silly doing it, but it helped knock me out after about 5-10 min. It was like my mind finally took a break in thinking and I felt myself relax into a slumber. It's almost crazy to me how the simplest of actions can help regulate us
We need those beginning visuals more!!!!!!! Please 🙏 🙏 🙏
Those are like my oxygen cylinders now!! If possible pls make a whole film including that scenery, it's beautifullllll, what place is that?
That actually regulated me!!!!
Just stuffs I see while meandering in the sun 🌿
This is a much needed topic, thank you so much. Thank you as well for the stern but sensitive reminder that we have to be the one to make the changes, even if our nervous system is trying to reject the good. I know no one is going to do it for me but now I feel like I have the power to push through that uncomfortable state as my body learns to be regulated. Especially when you mentioned that you used to struggle with dissociation and alexithymia but that you have worked through that now. It gave me so much hope to hear that. When I truly think about it, I think I have spent a lot of time unknowingly dysregulated and I don't want that to be my future. We all deserve to spend more time with inner peace and joy!
Aside from this, if you could, would you mind elaborating on what your go to breath work exercises are? I know deep belly breathing is important but if you have anything else you've found helpful I'd love to know. Thank you again!
Will do a video on just breathwork :)
@@thethoughtspot222that’s great, Irene
OP I support your optimism and positive outlook 😊
That opening shot!!!!!!!!!💖💖💖💖
incredibly articulate resource ! great work and excited to see u continue to grow
Outstanding video!!! So cool you are including visual and other neurology drills to regulate yourself! So many things to do with vestibular work, cranial nerve work, breathing and movement!!! (Facial stretches, tongue stretches are technically cranial nerve work) I wish more people know about this kind of stuff.
Thank you for the soothing first few seconds of the video. I've been on the edge of a bad meltdown for days and the videos I've tried to watch on self-soothing techniques were so loud and jarring that it made me want to scream. I'm so glad you're here and sharing your techniques with us.
Thank you so much for sharing, I've been feeling so off lately so this really helps!
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. It really resonated with me. I'm disregulated almost all the time it seems so these were great reminders about simple methods to incorporate. I'm glad you mentioned a holistic approach at the end because that truly is the key. And it's frustrating because we all want a quick fix. Unfortunately it doesn't work like you said.
I'm glad you talked extensively about the breathing. I have been struggling with this for a long time as well. I wake up gasping for air (this could also be sleep apnea). My chest is really and hurts. I usually wake up in a panic so I completely feel you when you say it's no fun. I may need to consider looking into the shape of my jaw as well (i have a deviated septum too). Thank you again for sharing your story. I feel crazy sometimes and it's comforting to find others out here in the interweb. Haha. Much healing and peace to you. ❤️
Loved every single recommendation Irene; especially the face one...actually needed to hear that right now *relaxes face*. Wishing you Great Health and Continous Healing 🙏
your videos have helped me so much to understand myself!!! SO MUCH! like before I started watching your content I barely even understood my autism diagnosis & what it actually meant & my stims etc. THANK YOUUU FOR BEING YOUU!
thank you for your warmth and articulation. beautiful and wise. (also, your skin is simply glorious!)
these are such great tips, thank you!! i also have really bad jaw tension and sleep with trex arms and never realized the implications of them, or that such little actions could help so much
Hi Irene! Loved the gentle vibes of this video! I really loved your video you did a few months ago where you reacted to bad advice! Would love to see a part 2 as I think you always bring up such good discussion points!
Very interesting, thank you!
I tend to be skeptical about all body-care things and procrastinate them, because the benefits seem to me not so visible and not immediate. But you discussed a lot the why and the how in a way that made me think.
It also show how much intentional effort we have to put into EVERYTHING in our life... even breathing. It's exausting.
I love your content and thank you for opening my mind to new ideas and pointing things out that have always been true for me! It's so cool seeing people's odd physical techniques for relaxing because absurd movements are the most relaxing to me, but the hardest to practice due to the fear of being perceived... I'm currently in the difficult spot of finding new coping methods as a newly pregnant person, who previously only depended on cannabis all day for a decade to regulate. Dance has been the best alternative but right now it feels like I have to shake off a year of stiffness to start dancing. Wish me and my anxious baby luck s
Dancing is healthy and so much fun! Good luck! 🤞
Skincare/makeup routine PLEASE! You look so naturally dewy and supple😍😍
the video’s unlisted, but you can find it on its own playlist on my channel🫧
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Thank you so much for your videos. That’s exactly what I’ve been telling my psychologist who tries to give me quick fixes for things. Gosh, finally someone said it!!! ❤
I use the intro to this video with my neurodivergent students. Thanks for all the work you do!
This video has helped me understand dis regulation on deeper level and I feel so seen in this experience of Autism, picking up on it for first time in my life. The overstimulation is real out here so thank you I needed this 💖💖💖👀 thanks for eye tip 👀
i just watched the end where you talk about people saying 'where's the list'😅 and i just wanted to say that i really appreciate these videos for NOT doing that. i looked up your videos after giving up on another therapist i was seeking help from for mainly issues i've developed from a lifetime of masking and had the experience of the therapist cutting me off while i was trying to express my feelings (about people shutting me down when i tried to express my feelings as a kid, the irony) to tell me what she had determined i should focus on, and what i should do. i feel like people shoving a list in my face of what i should do that i do not relate to at all and does not help me is all the "professional" help i've gotten seems interested in. i really appreciate you using your personal experience to guide other people to use their own knowledge and intuition to find their own way. my experiences in therapy having felt so demeaning and i appreciate your videos that offer support that doesnt take away agency!
This vid is a great reminder to get back into what helped me in the past. I often find things that are helpful, but I often get distracted or forgetful and then I end up back where I started. Gonna start working on breathing exercises every morning. Thanks for the great vid!
I can also relate to dealing with a chronic health condition, I find my physical state directly effects my mental health and maybe being on the spectrum emphasises the connection if that makes sense
i relate to so much here. being more sensitive yet more adaptive, needing to start my day with self care and to have ample time to not feel rushed and neurotic, waking up with lots of anxiety and breathing as if i was catching my breath.
the morning after i went to my first breathwork session i woke up and could drink water and breathe normally. it was so refreshing. but didn't last more than a day or two- i want to go another time then develop a regular practice.
whether i need to do it daily, or at least every other week like my instructor does herself, that will be something to figure out *and not skimp out on*.
i've been considering seeing an ENT as well, especially after someone said they could breath like a normal person and had more energy, and even more so after you described similar symptoms and about how you plan to go through with surgery. 🌬️
i also do want to be stretching every morning, but have been having trouble carving out enough time and forming the habit. but i know it's so important for my body. i want to get that curve cushion too as ~i done slouched a lot~ and have quite a curved spine and some diagonal plates which sometimes cause pain.
i haven't tried EMDR but what you said reminds me of the eye strain and disorientation i feel after staring at a screen for too long, and purposely breaking away to 'stretch' my eye sockets sounds nice.
face stretches- yes! gah, just stretch everything lol. i went to my first sound healing recently as well, and the two things i took from it were a reminder that i can get to the place of no thoughts if i really give it time, and that i need to stretch out my face! i noticed tension there and kept correcting it over and over, and while it got better it seemed to never go away- until i just put my hands on my face and rubbed it. aaah
i'll try to relax my arms more and see if that's a thing for me.
and nature is so regenerative and doesn't seem to ask for anything back (at least not until we decompose), so we should take advantage of that free peace. 💚
natural light- i love waking up with it. if i have to wake up in the dark it feels SO WRONG, but losing my job feels wrong-er. i really wish for more flexibility in standard jobs on start time so we can have our goddam morning to regulate and show up better.
and yes, truly meandering in a meditative state and giving that hyper-perceptive mode a rest.
ugh, basically 'ditto' to everything. so glad you put all these things out to help others. i'm sending this to my breathwork instructor and a women's group i've been a part of. thank you! ❤️
This thumbnail is everything ❤
I love your advice! I already go for walks everyday, and I live right next to the forest so I can go for walks relatively undisturbed since most people stay in the city.
there's a rope with a stick on it to use as a swing and I use this to swing and spin around every single time I pass it, and not only is it fun but it is so soothing!
Also I would like to recommend Journaling! Doesnt have to be anything fancy, if you're like me then actual journaling gets super boring due to the adhd but the autism and my mental health in general still benefit so much from it! The solution is to carry a super small journal book thingie, and a pen and then just write the most important things.
I am Diagnosed with OCD aswell so I use this journal for OCD thoughts wich makes them go into the book and out of my head.
I use it for anything I wanna remember or just random things that i think of and think is cool and worth writing down and so on! Just short and to the point.
It helps so much.
Also didnt think of the being in silence thing! It does make alot of sense though! I listen to music basicly 24/7 to be able to cope and shut other sounds and such out.
Irene tysm for sharing 🌟 advice content is especially no BS - because what you share is the result of years of trial-and-error - so I admire the resilience and work it took to make this video!
I deleted tiktok today after a while of knowing it was 100% contributing to my disregulation, so this is the video I needed!!
The part on not wanting to help yourself really hit home - I used to think my behaviour was not bad enough to qualify as "not helping myself". This video brought the nuance I needed to see that it really was that bad, and it helped me see the many unsustainable habits I built to cope with disregulation since I was young.
Clearly super helpful and eye opening! And hearing this topic framed in a nervous system context helped pathologize it which makes it much easier to apply to myself without shame/judgement.
I'll be trying the advice I'd usually roll my eyes at these next weeks lol, I think it's finally time 🌟
Bless you omg you don’t know how much I needed this!! My mental health has been off the charts lately and had a horrible panic attack yesterday… I forgot how easy it is to regulate myself and I did that for a while but then I stopped :( I gotta do these things every day and I’ve been doing the eye movement unconsciously, it does really help! It’s so true that it’s easier to stay miserable… it’s all about consistency if I wanna have my nervous system regulated, there’s been a lot going on so I REALLY needed this reminder ❤
I really like this video thank you so much. Particularly appreciate what you say about eye movement, I notice when i’m in conversation with people and taking walks my eyes go all over the place and can have a hard time feeling like I should suppress it/ keep my eyes in one place. I did EMDR a few years ago with a therapist, will definitely incorporate the eye movements in my evening downtime
Au here! been doing the facial messages first as a way to tone/sculpt my face, but it soon became a new stim that really truly helps regulate myself. I’m more in tune with my body’s needs and it’s empowered me to just stim and move with out fear.
Super recommend ✌️😋
It took me a bit but I’m very grateful that you don’t “just tell us what to do” but rather HOW to do it. I mean, my brain HATES that I have to figure it out for myself but that’s the point and I do feel my brain coming around (slowly. cautiously). It’s new and unknown and I want answers but thank you for teaching instead.
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he eats for life.
(Readies self) now for the hard part…doing it 😬
Thank you. I’m going to do slowly try everything in this video and keep what works for me. And I’m so glad you’re doing what you need to be okay. Hope the surgery goes smoothly ❤
OMG, your jaw and nose tweaking! I hope the operation is successful! Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for this message. A big part of me is always looking for a quick fiix but I think I’ve reached a point in my life, health, and overall journey that this is about being present and getting in tune with myself and that what works this week might not work next week. I have to keep exploring, adapting, and most of all being present for myself. Thank you so much. It’s so funny because I have tried all of these things at one point or other and they have made me feel good but I just give up or think it’s silly or “forget” about how much these tools helped. Btw, I downloaded the sandwich planner. It’s kind of like what I was creating for mysel just a lot slower and in a clumsier manner. Your video truly helped me face that I am different and that I can’t go on dumping all of these to do lists on myself and then watching myself fail. I’m done. The planner was so validating and it provided guidance that I need to structure my day/ week. Thank you ❤.
Thank you so much! My body is telling me I'm repressing (AKA constant migraines, starting behind my right eye) and when you talked about the eye movements I realized that this is a stim I repress constantly. I have had a bit of stress lately and I find it so difficult (and frustrating) to get a sense of when I go into repression-mode. Hopefully this awareness will help me further on my journey to better health!
Do you think you could expand on this topic of self regulation skills but with a focus on hyposensitivity? Experiencing norm stimuli as very dull, flat, and lifeless makes it more difficult to process what's going on around you, but there is a lack of information online on hyposensitivity thats practical for adults to implement.
I’ll keep this in mind!
I, too, am not well versed on hyposensitivity, would love to see a deep dive on that 🤔
But I hope you’re ok, OP
I suspect one of my family members is hyposensitive autistic. He is a teenager now, but when he was little, he loved to ram his tricycle full speed into a closed metal clad door, or my legs, or outdoors into a tree. He also had no problem screaming a lot, even well after gaining his speech. His grandpa used to sometimes worry his screams would cause neighbors to call CPS. Not that they ever did, and in any case, the boy was completely unhurt, just displeased.
Many autistic people are hypersensitive in some ways and hyposensitive in other ways.
I sometimes went out for walks in the countryside when I felt the need to. I haven't done this for months now becasue for me even nature can be overwhelming. The noises that rivers and birds and the wind make are very intense and tiring.
Also I'd like to be alone when I need to, but that's just not possible outside becasue there is always someone walking their dogs, or jogging, or having a party, or riding a bike every day at every hour. Even at night.
I'm naturally anxious whenever I see a stranger approaching.
I try not to leave my room if possible becasue that's the only place where I can find some degree of silence and tranquility.
I occasionally tried to go further during my strolls and walk into some actual woods and I felt immensely better, but walking that far is still tiring and I can't do it all year round.
Sometimes I felt the need to sing at the top of my voice and let it all out so to speak. I treid cycling to isolated places at night to do so without annoying anyone but there were still bassersby every five minutes and I felt embarrassed and irritated.
I also can't handle stimuli in the morning after staying up. I need to do things calmly and silently at least for an hour or two to give my brain time to get things into order.
My alarm sound is the opening track of Banco's 1978 album "Di Terra", a very mellow orchestral theme.
I used to have the terror of alarm clocks as a teenager because conventional ones wreck havoc with my brains.
When I'm home I never listen to music unless I really feel the need to listen to something in particular.
I don't know if it has to do with anything but I also occasionally like to play the piano. I never took music courses and I'm no professional musician but it brings me joy to just play a couple of songs that I like every so often.
This is by no means a fixed habit. I can go on a month without ever touching a keyboard.
I too have alexithymia and I have no idea how I feel nine times out of ten. Hunger and thirst are a gamble.
I feel stuck every day even though I have hundreds of things I could do.
Ever since I discovered tarot cards I feel the need once in a while to take them out and lay a deck and see what the present has in store. I don't believe in magic or anything, but I'm very sensitive and when I shuffle the cards I get a feeling in my body when it's time to stop and put them down. I'm very impressed when every time the cards relate to something that happened to me last day or even that is happening right now.
That's the easiest way I have to actually realize what I'm goind through in a particular moment.
I have a book about tarots where I read about the meaning of every card I picked every time.
I can't remember what the cards mean because they relate to many very abstract and emotional concepts that I simply can't wrap my head about, but my book also contains practical examples that make them more accessible.
I visually stim all the time and I'm never gonna stop. I don't care what the others think about eye contact and stuff.
Thank you for this video and happy autism awareness day. (it's April 2nd In Europe as I watch this)
Ooh, I considered getting tarot cards a couple years ago, but there are so many different decks, I couldn't decide on which one would be best for me, supposedly you need to pick a deck that you feel drawn to, but I didn't feel a "connection" to any particular deck when I looked at them. How did you go about choosing your deck?
@@oksanakaido8437 Well well well... I discovered tarots back in late 2020. I think I was doing some research on numerology and than I happened to read the history of the tarot cards. I frankly don't remember what happened but I was looking for a nice concept for an album I was planning to write and I liked the idea of writing songs about each individual card. At the time I din't know any of the amazing albums written in the seventies on the same topic. But anyway, I told my mother about tarots, which means I info-dumped the whole history of tarots and whatnot, so consider yourself lucky if I don't do it here too.
She brought me a set of major arcana she had bought in her youth and forgot about completely for decades.
They are called Taro Gatti (tarot-cats).
They are very cute cards where the subjects have been replaced by stylized black cats.
I first began using them for my decks untill again my mother found a 1971 edition of the classic Rider-Waite-Smith tarots.
Now I have four different decks that I like including the Crowley deck but they are mostly for my ego.
I only use the Rider-Waite-Smith deck for my readings because it features a higher level of detail compared to most other tarot decks and that goes a long way into helping me visualise the profoundness of the subjects.
They also include figures instead of numbers on the minor arcana, which again is helpful since minor arcana also hold a deeper meaning than most would admit.
When Waite and Smith designed those cards they put a lot of obvious masonic and esoteric references into them but also generally broadened the capacity of the visual medium though all sorts of innocent details.
In those cards nothing is random. A lot of research went into them. If in a card you see flowers of a particular species it is becasue that particular flower species has a meaning related to the card.
The same goes for tiny animals that might be passing through the scene for no apparent reason.
In the end, I grew comfortable with the imagery used in the Rider-Waite-Smith cards and most new decks are heavily based on them anyway so to me it makes more sense to directly use the original thing.
Though at the end of the day every tarot deck bears the same meaning regardless of what is drawn on it,
the secret to reading tarots is to understand your cards and what aspect of life they underline.
You are always the one in charge, not the cards.
You could use pokemon figurines for all that matters as long as you find a way to associate them with the concepts described by tarots.
I'm 26 and the face and arm stuff is new to me but other than that I have ended up all of the same regulation methods you mention. I used meditate and do breathwork once in a while as a teen but I felt like I wasn't made for it because my mind would always wander and it was hard to sit still. However, I started reading more about Buddhism and listening to dharma talks which deepened my practice and helped me understand how important things like meditation, mindfulness, and silence are particularly as someone with AuDHD. Thanks for the video
I do about 20 minutes yoga after waking up, and also massage my face/jaw/neck before bed. On days when my mental health is really bad, I might do a guided breathwork routine and/or EFT tapping (I use their tapping solution app and even though the free options are limited, I find it's a good quick way to shift my mental state at least somewhat).
The tips about moving your eyes throughout the day and keeping arms relaxed are great, I try to do those as well but often forget, so thanks for the reminder.
Those things do sound as though they are too simple to work the way you need them to, but they really do.
It's like looking at your mind as though it's a house and all the contents. The worse you feel, the more full the house seems to be. And looking at a full house that needs to be organised and tidied seems like a mammoth task. But concentrating on one room first, or one task or one area of one room and continuing that way moving forwards, seems much easier to manage.
You're almost retraining your mental pathways and reforming them, to focus on positives as opposed to negatives 💙💙💙
Your videos are always so spot on for me! I have diagnosed ADHD and questioning ASD, and all of the things you’ve mentioned are what’s gotten me through the past couple of years of health issues from receiving incorrect diagnoses and having long COVID. Thank you for sharing!
I knew a lot of this already (except tongue stretches - that's so smart!) but hearing it all together is SUCH a good reminder of little things I can be doing throughout the day to help me stay present and regulated. Thank you for this video. I really hope I can make a habit of these techniques, any advice for how to stick with it would be super helpful. AuDHD makes me forget what's good for me :')
This was really thoughtful.
For a long time, i used to find so many things as corny, and not real solutions. Until i started using them. Corny works. And also my caveman brain is scared of change, so chalking it up to corny makes it easier to avoid!!
I have been thinking alot of quick-fix and innovation. Spending many years in the self-improvement and minimalism space on CZcams. Watching lots of “new behaviours or actions” that are “life changing” but two years later they arent using them. Not to judge the person, but its made me aware. Quick fixes are fun and exciting, but rarely work long term.
Like politics, most things cannot be fixed with a bandaid. They need deep considered, consistent and structural changes.