Let's Talk About... Borderline Personality Disorder

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  • čas přidán 21. 08. 2024

Komentáře • 114

  • @KimPosteryournewpenpal
    @KimPosteryournewpenpal Před 3 lety +122

    BPD AND WORK ANXIETY. I'm so happy someone is talking about this. "I'm never good enough" often comes up for me when I get work triggers.

    • @tshield9884
      @tshield9884 Před 3 lety +11

      Work anxiety. Constantly switching jobs. The cold horror of work the next day. I get it.

    • @chositadream5055
      @chositadream5055 Před 3 lety

      I tripped when my boss used an exclamation point . And the whole can we talk thing. Yes

    • @LaGrossePaulik
      @LaGrossePaulik Před 3 lety +2

      Real subject indeed... It really is something I struggle with, I am doing better but workplace is still too stressful and exposing. It triggers my low self-esteem. It's been three years I quitted my job, it's harder as times fly! No idea of what I want to do in life (poor sense of identity). I also like the egg/basket metaphor she uses! I wish anyone reading a peaceful day 👋

    • @m.n.8822
      @m.n.8822 Před 3 lety +1

      @@LaGrossePaulik it is very hard to work under these conditions. This rollercoster of emotions makes it harder to work. I get easily angry at my co-workers or boss, but I need to pretend that everything is okay.

  • @roastedtoast9337
    @roastedtoast9337 Před 3 lety +102

    Im scared to tell people i have bpd because i know they’ll treat me different after. Its very hard to live this way

    • @mirukethees4286
      @mirukethees4286 Před 3 lety

      Just know your worth it and your beautiful you don’t need to feel scared about people leaving you because no one leave you and if they do that’s their problem

    • @kasparjanssen2932
      @kasparjanssen2932 Před 3 lety +1

      why would u tell. Only tell to people who won;t trheat u differently

    • @graham1039
      @graham1039 Před 3 lety

      Even though it’s hard when people do this, remember that it’s a way for you to see their true colors. If they can’t appreciate your differences and see you through that then they don’t deserve you

    • @nameunknown7
      @nameunknown7 Před 3 lety

      And yet your BPD, unless you've been in treatment for years, will cause you to treat other people differently. You will most likely hurt them and they deserve to know about it.

    • @christopherprado3923
      @christopherprado3923 Před 3 lety +1

      BPD is not like depression which is even cool to have and people kind of understand it now. With BPD people tend to apart from you cause they fell afraid of being manipulated and also the inestability and anger issues we do have. I do understand people when they leave me. I just not talk about it anymore. I just tell I am bipolar, which I thought I was for a very long time of my life.

  • @mortalkomment8028
    @mortalkomment8028 Před 3 lety +8

    Fear of abandonment, panic attacks, people actually leaving...
    It's a 24/7 thing, not a mood disorder.
    End of the world when one thing goes wrong.
    Communication is key!

  • @rayner1704
    @rayner1704 Před 3 lety +44

    Bpd has ruined my life since I was about 16

  • @NewlifeNewbeginnings2
    @NewlifeNewbeginnings2 Před 3 lety +64

    Recently diagnosed and it explains so much. I'm now 41 and just trying to figure out my next steps.

  • @Boymom515
    @Boymom515 Před 3 lety +7

    It is a 24/7 battle. It’s exhausting. And the best part is there is no drug that treats it and no cure. We with BPD are freaking warriors.

  • @jeff_wolf2846
    @jeff_wolf2846 Před 3 lety +10

    I've watched a few BPD videos, and I 'm surprised that the feeling of being abandoned is such a big element

    • @estherkimnz
      @estherkimnz Před 3 lety +6

      Extreme fear of abandonment is basically the number one symptom of BPD, usually resulting from childhood abuse or neglect

  • @blue10880
    @blue10880 Před 2 lety +4

    💙 I thank you so much, my 16 year old. Daughter is struggling atm, and you have helped immensely

  • @myselfme767
    @myselfme767 Před 3 lety +9

    When I'm ok and don't have any symptoms I do fell like there's nothing wrong with me, sadly this doesn't last long. Something happens, or nothing happens, but I'd see something in a "situation " when there's no situation at all and here we go again.....with the bullshit. I get really upset, I worry, I cry, I'm sad or angry, or both and it's the end of everything (the drama is real) , a couple of hours later I'd be so, so emotionally and physically exhausted from all the thoughts....just tired. Than when this goes away I'd feel like I'm fine and nothing's wrong with me. And than the whole thing starts again...I won't know it's "nothing", because for me it's something. Sometimes I feel guilty for my thoughts.

    • @jeannineyvette3317
      @jeannineyvette3317 Před 3 lety +1

      I get the same way. Like today I have been up since 2 am. Anxious, emotional, feeling empty, angry. .sad.. crying spells.. then I watch shows or something to get it off my mind.... but I still feel like shit. Mainly thoughts on my relationship and separation. So that is a big trigger..... I've been like that since it was 15.. it is frustrating and It sucks feeling like something is wrong with me

  • @becjohnson2199
    @becjohnson2199 Před 3 lety +16

    Thank you for sharing. This is totally me. I even know I’m getting used by those I’m scared to lose but I keep doing it so I’m not all alone. I think this all started due to my bad child hood.

  • @tshield9884
    @tshield9884 Před 3 lety +16

    Yeah. This was really helpful. I’m 43 and just got my diagnosis. I really love how you explained this.

  • @desiree111
    @desiree111 Před 3 lety +15

    I have been scared of getting fired for the whole 2 years I’ve been at my job. That’s.. not normal? :O wow

  • @luzvega8527
    @luzvega8527 Před 2 lety +1

    GREAT GREAT VIDEO! I am new to this diagnosis so she couldn't have made it any clearer for those wondering about BPD , just hearing her brought me to tears ..

  • @mikebasil4832
    @mikebasil4832 Před 2 lety +2

    Thank you, Stephanie, for opening our eyes, minds and hearts to a most delicate subject.

  • @ryantripoli4344
    @ryantripoli4344 Před 3 lety +2

    This helped so much to not feel alone. Thank you for opening up online. With BPD I imagine since we are alike, that it must have been a bit terrifying to click upload. So thank you.

  • @athenasimmers1986
    @athenasimmers1986 Před 2 lety +2

    Recently got diagnosed I just turned 20. I've known something was off for a long time but now I know what so that part helps.. but I hate that I'll never stop feeling this way

  • @alaynag6917
    @alaynag6917 Před 3 lety +8

    Im scared to even mention that I think I have it, it took me years to open up about my anxiety, saying that I NEEDED to get an actual diagnosis and go on meds. my mom refused, even tho I would get anxiety over everything (even just walking through halls, paranoia), going to work, not eating while in school, traveling or going somewhere new) now that I think I have this, not only am I paranoid about her thinking that Im looking for attention, but I feel like everyone will judge me. treat me like a lesser of a person

    • @iamstuckinfandomangelicat2890
      @iamstuckinfandomangelicat2890 Před 11 měsíci +1

      I know this reply is 2 yrs past your post but I felt I needed to say it (you may already be aware) but you sound like you also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) because that makes you anxious over EVERYTHING (I have it too). It's possible to have multiple disorders together (like depression, anxiety, and BPD)

  • @InnerSilence123
    @InnerSilence123 Před 2 lety +1

    I dated a woman with BDP, it was a nightmare, it happened like 8 years ago and took me years to move on, I went trough therapy for years I still have dreams about some awful things that happened. then I had another relationship with yet another violent and toxic person and when I finally was able to run away Ive never had another serious relationship again. Ive been single for 6 years now and I had no meaningful relationships ever since not the desire to try again, I only had tinder dates and I cut those persons off my life as soon as I realize that some of them would actually like me. I want to have another serious relationship but Im too scared to live trough that again. she was right when she said that If I wanted to leave her she would ruin my life.

  • @Chinkydolll
    @Chinkydolll Před 3 lety +2

    Thank you for this video..it’s really helped me to realize some things about myself. And I’m proud to say, I’ve been inspired to get help.

  • @bellofigoitaliano5038
    @bellofigoitaliano5038 Před 2 lety +1

    I’m
    One month NC with my BPD ex , it’s the most insidious pain I’ve ever experienced in my life as the non BPD partner

  • @akilakhtar2426
    @akilakhtar2426 Před 3 lety +6

    me too diagnosed a month before and nobody cares especially in my country nepal its getting hard for me day by day :(

  • @Greenivyy
    @Greenivyy Před 3 lety +9

    The struggle is real.

  • @toddsaul
    @toddsaul Před 2 lety +1

    Truthfully people with bpd need a loving person with them but they will destroy that person.

  • @Sameoldfitup
    @Sameoldfitup Před 3 lety +1

    When I was six years old my stepmother left me in a doorway with a note saying not wanted....

  • @lotterylarry7777
    @lotterylarry7777 Před 3 lety +1

    Does anyone else tend to talk to self out loud? I tend to do it when walking to car or something and sometimes I get nervous people hear me and think I'm crazy!

    • @xoxobutterfly
      @xoxobutterfly Před 11 měsíci

      I do that too I have to watch myself some things I say are very violent

  • @kanejanz4173
    @kanejanz4173 Před 3 lety +4

    Lol you explained my whole life story in about 2 minutes of watching this video

  • @basebowman2542
    @basebowman2542 Před 3 lety +2

    My girl leaves me 7 days every month it's so horrible 😞💔

  • @lorenzodesidera1438
    @lorenzodesidera1438 Před 3 lety +4

    Go Stephy!!!

  • @RSbestyRS
    @RSbestyRS Před 3 lety

    Thank you so much for posting!!

  • @karenmenendez7469
    @karenmenendez7469 Před 3 lety

    Thank you so much for this.

  • @derickferraz4129
    @derickferraz4129 Před 3 lety

    I never seen someone else who describes so well how i actualy feel.

  • @thiccletics
    @thiccletics Před 2 lety

    Thank you for sharing 💖

  • @Happy-Me.
    @Happy-Me. Před 11 měsíci

    So beautiful!

  • @Sameoldfitup
    @Sameoldfitup Před 3 lety +1

    When I was six years old my stepmother left me in a doorway with a note saying not wanted

  • @nadiamarie9833
    @nadiamarie9833 Před rokem

    You isolated your partner from their friends on PURPOSE? I have BPD too and I would never do something like that. That's horrible.

  • @mh7891
    @mh7891 Před 3 lety

    Thank you for sharing ❤️

  • @Darren.79
    @Darren.79 Před 3 lety +1

    I've recently been diagnosed.

  • @pk2702pk
    @pk2702pk Před 3 lety

    I suffer from both Bipolar type II and BPD! It's beyond a living hell to be honest! Recently lost my girlfriend of 4 years because of these disorders! Won't even talk to me!
    Heartbroken

  • @davidleroywhitaker2077

    WOW! totally on spot for me.

  • @victoriamolina9718
    @victoriamolina9718 Před 3 lety +1

    I'm not ready to go through this... I need help but I I so scared. I don't want it to be years of bad mixtures of medication.. why can't I just suck it up

    • @lesleyharris2183
      @lesleyharris2183 Před 3 lety +3

      I understand what you are going through. Believe me. Don't focus on meds as much with your bpd... try DBT♥️

  • @PhoenixtheII
    @PhoenixtheII Před 3 lety

    "The we need to chat.... tomorrow"
    T_T
    aka. unable to function like a person till. Every second till, is spent on what did I do wrong... replaying every interaction. over and over.

  • @tarahopwood7893
    @tarahopwood7893 Před 9 měsíci

    I'm 18 my dad has really bad BPD and used to beat me n I think I have BPD n I don't wanna be a guinea pig and put on a bunch of pills I've been threw so many therapists as a kid and I just wanna give up is there any pisific medicine that will help me stay alive

  • @jeannineyvette3317
    @jeannineyvette3317 Před 3 lety +1

    I'm on anxiety and anti depression medication. Anyone else in medicine and if so what kind has worked?

    • @MabelRD08
      @MabelRD08 Před 3 lety

      Im on meds too
      Im on sertraline
      Tanacol
      Quetiapine and xanax(very small dosage)
      Tanacol and sertraline are mainly for depression and mood swings

    • @nameunknown7
      @nameunknown7 Před 3 lety +1

      Medications are not a valid treatment for BPD. Years of therapy is the only treatment. Some medications can temporarily treat the symptoms such as depression but they aren't an actual treatment for the disorder.

  • @toddsaul
    @toddsaul Před 2 lety +1

    I married someone with bpd without knowing what was going on. Took me a year to figure it out and another for her after I exposed her to her behavior. She went to therapy for a couple years but didn't have perhaps the right person. God knows I've tried my heart bleeds, we've been apart as long as we have been together and at this point I want a divorce.

  • @Stephanie_bitches89
    @Stephanie_bitches89 Před 2 lety

    I don't think people talk enough about the anger that comes with bpd. I'm so sick of hearing the same exact thing over and over again "afraid of abandonment" I'm starting to think these stories are fake because they are literally all the same with offering nothing else 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

    • @GrannyGooseOnYouTube
      @GrannyGooseOnYouTube Před 2 lety

      Your fear is something you are entitled to. You also have as much right to be angry as anyone else. You just want to reach a point where YOU are in control of it. I don't have BPD myself, so I haven't experienced it, but an ex did. She didn't want help and feared they would "lock her up" or "give her drugs". She was unable to handle her deep fears, and when I tried to take a break (a walk) during a quarrel, she would literally pursue me in a car, making a public scene. I had to find peace, but I do so hope she found help.
      Best wishes for your recovery.

    • @Stephanie_bitches89
      @Stephanie_bitches89 Před 2 lety +1

      @@GrannyGooseOnCZcams idk if I even have BPD or if u was just in a bad place with my mental health at the time. I'm a Sagittarius, we aren't afraid of "abandonment" or being alone. We would prefer it over a toxic relationship, which I was in at the time. Plus seasonal depression. Idk I'm just trying to figure myself out. I have had outbursts but.... Have you tried dating a Virgo?! 😂🥴😭😑🤦🏼‍♀️
      Plus he's laid off in the winter. It wasn't a good mix... And we all know how crappy of a time the last two years have been.... It was all just a lot.
      Thank you for your kind words!

  • @erismiracle9779
    @erismiracle9779 Před 3 lety

    But if I can relate to some of these does that makes me Borderline ? I don’t think so right?

    • @stephanievicente4784
      @stephanievicente4784 Před 3 lety +2

      Nope! You can work with a therapist to determine if you are though. There are ways to assess it. I think that we can look to any mental illness and find something we identify with but doesn't mean that it is the right diagnosis for us.

  • @rogenaqshairy3097
    @rogenaqshairy3097 Před 2 lety

    My female manager was narcissistic she planned to got me fired when covid hit cuz I was always above of her and my narcissistic ex stole all my money and run to his country Algeria when covid hit ... I'm bpd now I can't work right now cuz if I had narcissistic co-workerd or manger I'm afraid to killed some of them

  • @lilysunshine3447
    @lilysunshine3447 Před 3 lety

    Did you just not fit in. Do you prefer to express yourself artistically. Are others asking you to think and believe what others have embraced? If you are not them does that make you wrong? Are you subjective or diverse. When you are with them they often seem lost.There interpretation of what is happening isn’t clear. It would be nice to know how to help them join in.

  • @virathiyam5401
    @virathiyam5401 Před 3 lety +1

    For a non-sufferer to bluntly say "CHILD ABUSE AND MISTREATMENT BY YOUR PARENTS CAUSED YOUR DISORDER" is an extremely risky thing to say to a person who's already going through hell.
    That doesn't do any good to someone who's already suffering but oblivious to what caused it. Let them stay oblivious. They need some happiness and it's happier that way. Therapeutically, it doesn't serve any function to tell them that.
    Telling someone "You have Cancer" after a diagnosis vs. telling someone "Your wife unintentionally caused your Cancer", are 2 very different things which leads to 2 very different reactions. Once the correct diagnosis is given, the causation is no longer significant to be made aware to the sufferer if it's no longer presently relevant, even if so the Cancer was indeed really caused by the wife.
    Making them believe in that, which is unnecessary in my view, may do much more harm and trigger the worst outcomes. Ex. The BPD may start blaming their parents, have angry outburst toward caregivers and completely sabotage healthy familial relations, or they may break down and make their symptoms worse and unmanageable etc. whichever way it can't be healthy for someone suffering to be let known.
    CZcams and Google search contains helpful information if you're a clinician or a parent looking to help a someone with BPD. But if you're a sufferer, better beware. There's the good and the bad. And ironically, I'd say that 90%+ of the people searching up are sufferers.
    We should keep in mind the person walking in for help had to overcome a lot of stigma and is already suffering from anger, resentment, grudges, suicidality, trust issues and a bunch of other complications involving relationships with others. And in most cases, they have no idea why. And if me, being their expert, tell them that their suffering is caused by other people/caregivers abusing or mistreating them when they were a helpless child is nothing short of craziness. Well unless, I want to rub more salt to their already agonizing wounds and make their condition worse.
    The only 2 exceptions I'd consider letting patients know about what caused it is when they are in treatment and seeing improvements and they look ready to start the ACCEPTANCE process. Or if they're about to start therapy such as EMDR which requires recall. But considering, only a few reach out for help and even fewer can afford therapy, that's totally risky and unnecessary info to be put out to millions.
    Having a disease inflicted by fate/genetics/self such as Cancer vs. having a disorder believed to be inflicted by horrible people to blame with can have a totally adverse reaction to one's personality and state of mind, which also dictates their quality of life. In other words, the sufferer who's made to believe is suffering from a disorder inflicted by others may make recovery harder, or worse live a lonely life full of hate and mistrust toward others.
    Therefore, it's paramount for clinicians and experts not to discuss the causal matters to someone suffering from BPD or any trauma based inflicted disorders unless absolutely necessary or if the sufferers already believes in it.

    • @rayner1704
      @rayner1704 Před 3 lety +2

      I have this condition and I had a wonderful family with out any aspects like mentioned I’m not sure why people say it has to have a traumatic event in order to have this

    • @virathiyam5401
      @virathiyam5401 Před 3 lety

      @@rayner1704 Thanks for clarifying that.

    • @jaiden8529
      @jaiden8529 Před 3 lety

      @@rayner1704 These type of disorders can also be ereditary or by genetics, not necessarily there has to be a traumatic event in your life

    • @stephanievicente4784
      @stephanievicente4784 Před 3 lety

      May I ask what you're referring to? "For a non-sufferer to bluntly say "CHILD ABUSE AND MISTREATMENT BY YOUR PARENTS CAUSED YOUR DISORDER" is an extremely risky thing to say to a person who's already going through hell."
      I don't think I mention anything in regards to this in my video. Just wondering how it relates to the content here.

    • @virathiyam5401
      @virathiyam5401 Před 3 lety

      @@stephanievicente4784 I don't want to re-watch the video. Maybe you didn't mention it here. But it's a good thing to be aware of anyways, because most aren't. And it's really crucial too. Especially if you're someone who occasionally puts out content on the topic to a large audience.

  • @TintinMinh
    @TintinMinh Před 2 lety

    it seems to me borderline pd is still seen as an overwhelmingly "female" disorder. I am a male and has borderline pd.

  • @harlequinn569
    @harlequinn569 Před 3 lety +1

    I’m 45 and a disabled veteran. I just learned that I have BPD. I’ve decided to take my life on 12/22/20.

    • @ashashash9339
      @ashashash9339 Před 3 lety +4

      Please don’t Harley Quinn I love you! You’re a fantastic person. BPD can be managed please reach out for help and keep trying until you find someone who specializes in DBT therapy. I’m praying for you. I love you. You’re so wanted and I’m listening. Sending big hugs to you. Please stay. Please stay.

    • @digitalsalsas
      @digitalsalsas Před 3 lety +2

      Don’t do it friend.

    • @UKLady
      @UKLady Před 3 lety

      I had a Double D Day, too. I keep pushing it back.
      If you want to talk, I'm here.

    • @erismiracle9779
      @erismiracle9779 Před 3 lety

      Please stay!!!! It can be managed.. reach out for help please!! I hope you are still alive and well !!! Please .. 😢😢😢

    • @Kenzingo
      @Kenzingo Před 3 lety

      Are you okay?

  • @VoiceOfThe
    @VoiceOfThe Před 3 lety

    ‘Isolated a partner from his friends to keep him from leaving me’ - a girl I was seeing sent me nudes one evening when she knew my sister was round at mine. I remember thinking this was odd at the time. Would this be an example of what you’re describing here?

    • @jessicajones3046
      @jessicajones3046 Před 3 lety

      Not necessarily. If she did have BPD sh might be doing it because she’s upset you’re spending time with your sister without her and she’s trying to get your attention and make sure you don’t forget about her

    • @VoiceOfThe
      @VoiceOfThe Před 3 lety

      @@jessicajones3046
      That’s what I meant. I think that’s exactly what she was doing. Convinced she has bpd, even though she’s not officially been diagnosed. She has at least 5 of the 9 traits. She even said to me once she felt ‘empty’.
      Lost count how many times she’s boomeranged back to me. Her father was in and out of her life and completely absent from 12 years-old.
      Sick of being the back-up option though. Care deeply for her. She unleashes a primal protector instinct within me, like no other girl has done before.

    • @Czarusiowyogorek
      @Czarusiowyogorek Před 3 lety

      @@VoiceOfThe Do not diagnose other people, please.

  • @garywilliams1373
    @garywilliams1373 Před 5 měsíci

    it’s not a mood disorder. Sorry you are so wrong , my rage is so bad I am taking. , LITHUM A MOOD DISORDER DRUG

  • @StellarScream
    @StellarScream Před 3 lety +2

  • @QuartuvLarry
    @QuartuvLarry Před 3 lety

    ...and the scheming, and the conniving… That’s all due to my inflicted fear of abandonment! I’M the victim, not my victims!

  • @Stephanie_bitches89
    @Stephanie_bitches89 Před 2 lety

    Fake