Brendan Courtney: I'm pretty pissed off my Mam is in this situation
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- čas přidán 13. 09. 2024
- Six years after making a heartbreaking documentary about his Dad's last year, and his fight for home care, Brendan Courtney now finds his family back in the exact same position, trying to find care assistance for his beloved mother who suffers from dementia.
I can guarantee you that none of the parents of politicians have to endure this indignity.
What is the matter with us. We are THEIR employers, those turds work for us.
Yes about time the people got there power back 💪
Brendan, I’m so sorry for you and your family. Yours and your family’s documentary was fantastic, unbelievable and a gift to the thousands in your situation.
Very sad. My parents don't want to end up in a nursing home. I won't let it happen.
So sorry Brendan.
Nursing home care has made a huge difference to my mother's dementia. The socialisation has helped her enormously. Fair Deal is not perfect, but thank God for it. I'm so sorry to hear of your suffering. Very hard seeing your parent's slip away.
Thank you for speaking up about this. In my own experience as well as from what I have learned from others 'person-centered care' must be the one of the biggest misnomers in this country as by and large the wishes of the person, almost invariably referred to as 'the patient', counts for very little to nothing - irrespective of the florid mission statements from organisations and statements from politicians. I hope you can find a path through this that is more acceptable than the one dangled by the officials (who to a person will never be held accountable for their unhelpfulness, and enjoy being kept in the clover by our taxes till their own last breaths. Yep, that is disgusting.)
Best of luck Brendan. Just finished fair deal for parent 10 years and half a million later. Anything but fair for someone who worked so hard all their lives. 🙏
You're better off with nothing in this Country. Honestly.
No strategy, no vision, no competence and no delivery in so many areas that affect us all.
Thankyou so much for saying all this Brendan. I totally agree with you that a parent should be able to be home , my mum has dementia and I’ve had to give up work to care for her full time , as otherwise she’d have to go to a nursing home. So basically, we pay by my not working outside the home as it would cost even more than we could ever earn to pay someone to care for her. It’s a ridiculous system. Also if yr full time working spouse ‘has a job’ earning over about 650 a week , the carer who is 24/7 caring for parent is not entitled to any carers allowance. This is the case for huge numbers of people , another reason why home care for the elderly becomes an impossibility. Do it for free? I think about a quarter of home carers in Ireland are unpaid, as it’s that or the institution for their loved ones.
I’ve met you a couple of times Brendan your near the last of the good guys .
I lost my mother to breast cancer 20 years ago and my father only in Jan 23 .
Take it from me keeping a parent at home with what you’ve just described isn’t an option:::: my family did it - and it’ll stay with us forever for all the wrong reasons.
Best of luck
Difficult time, but many families are going through it, and so many families are worried about their loved ones in NH, the gov are busy closing down some nursing homes, it’s disgraceful how the elderly are being treated in this country as well as so many others. 34 rapes in NH and the investigation is closed down, no justice for victims of rape.
The awful reality is that Ireland, like most developed countries, doesn't have the financial resources to provide 24 hour home care to an ever increasing number of vulnerable elderly people.
Oh my God Brendan I am so with you on this. I am so sorry for the loss of your father & now your poor Mam not been well.
I totally get you on the fair deal only been for nursing homes 🤬Don't get me wrong nursing homes are great when needed. But like you said people are been funnelled into homes that don't even want to go in. My Dad has just recently had to go into a home from hospital😢He wasn't well & durning his time in hospital he was in bed for 4 months & has not been able to move his legs which means he has to have a hoist to get him in & out of bed. But the heart breaking thing with my Dad is apart from a small bit of memory loss {very small} from 2 small strokes he had he has nothing else wrong with him. He is heart broken in the home without my Mam. They have never been apart in all there 56 years together & now it's just visits every day from us that keeps him going. Which is tough on my Mam as well😢😢They are both 80 but in great health. It is breaking my heart 😢😢 because there is nothing I can do to get him home 😢😢He is a man that used to walk for miles & he could put his hand to anything & fix anything but he can't fix this😢😢To say my heart is broken is an understatement to be honest😢😢 My Mam & I just wouldn't be able to manage him😢😢I asked about home help & the best we could get is 3 hours a day & the rest would have to be private. But we haven't got the money for that. It's just like you p***es me off that they will take half of my Mam & Dad's house for a nursing home but won't help us to have him at home🤬🤬😢😢 He could be here with us & someone who really needs the bed could have my Dad's bed😢😢I am not looking into a physio to help with his legs to see what we can do. I just feel so lost & alone not been able to help my Mam & Dad😢😢 It's just not fair😢😢 Sorry for this long message Brian but I just wanted to say I hear you!! Alison Lennon 💜🦋
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Brendan, many of us have had to make the decision to become a full time carer... Why dont you??
Because people need sleep to take care of their children.
@@AL-wn2ttdo you realise how many people have to raise a family as well as being a carer.
Many people have had to park their careers to care for a loved one and are not whining and moaning like him.
How many children has he to rear
@@jimbanda- you seem bitter
@@bcent5758 No!! , he is bitter, very bitter , there are end of life issues we all have to face up to on behalf of our elderly Parents and relations, it's tough, nobody likes it and Brendan's case is no different to the thousands of others who become carers for a period of time, or who must care for their parents entirely at the weekend.... it requires committment that many of us never thought we would have to undertake, but we do it because we love the people who need the care, they loved us when we were helpless and onwards through life. We also face financial consequences. We also have the choice to place an elderly person in a nursing home, he can do that too, the fair deal scheme is there for him too.
Brendan seems to want the state to cough up for 7 days ,24 hours a day care for his Mum and he just pop in for a cuppa every now and then.
Maybe you can explain how those views make me seem bitter?
What am I bitter about??
My Mam was in a nursing home during Covid . She had untreated parkinsons. She got virtually no medical care. So I watched her slowly die over 2 years through a window. Why I'm wasn't allowed in dressed in suitable PPE , ill never understand. 😢
Not one mention or even the notion of quitting work and caring for his mother...a dirty job he is happy to pass on to the lowest paid workers in our society next to childcare ..he is the perfect stand in for Tubridy and as for government they should be making laws to lock these characters up for abandoning their parents who have now become children ...
Clearly you haven’t looked after someone with dementia. It is an around the clock job. He needs to earn money and have a life that is not just his mother. People who work in these jobs get to go home and switch off. I’m sure he is putting in all the hours he can. Your comments are cruel and show a real lack of knowledge about this issue.
Its an indignity, but hardly the only one she...
Sad to say, your mother needs to be in a nursing home, she will adapt and be highly social within two days.
What's a Mam?
Care for them yourself or put them in a home