I Killed An Entire Village With A Newspaper In Hitman 2
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- čas přidán 25. 10. 2019
- The hitman 2 kill everyone challenge, but doing it only with a newspaper! It's really funny to kill everyone in the entire level, I've never done that in a Hitman game before. Enjoy these funny moments!
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Outro animation created by Pixlpit:
/ pixlpit
Outro Song created by "Teknoaxe". It's called "I'm everywhere" and you can listen to it here
• TeknoAXE's Royalty Fre... - Hry
BREAKING NEWS! Like this video or I'll hit you with a newspaper!
jacksepticeye ok
oKay
I already liked the video, please don't kill me with a newspaper
K
Do more Subnautica it updated
Guy: *Sees muffins lying on the ground* "What completely irresponsible person would leave a weapon lying around*
I'd be I know right it's so hahah lol random
@@TheLuckyLuke314 uhhh... what?
It’s irresponsible to leave your chocolate chip weapons lying around and you can trust your local weapon stand, I want to live there
Oh I thought there was an actual weapon among the muffins lol
im a weapon?
"Breaking news: it's your neck"
LMAO THIS NEEDS MORE LIKES
WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE LIKES
no no LMAO WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE COMMENTS
🎩🌄🎮
braking news your dead haha
Jack 2015: NO WITNESSES
Jack 2019: No witnesses
Jack 2021: *NO WITNESSES*
true
Jack in 2031: all witnesses are dead
This is very accurate
Dead men tell no tales.
Me when playing Red Dead
"It seems he was hit repeatedly with a blunt object...:"
"the weapon?"
'a newspaper..."
*gasp*
"How can you tell?"
"His face is an exact copy of yesterday's morning newspaper printed on it."
"This is a newspaper."
"Dear God!"
"But wait, there's more!"
"NO!"
@@samsonguy10k I love that meme 💀
I feel like this could easily be a silly horror movie. The tagline: "Extra, extra.... DIE all about it!'
Or, "What's black and white and DEAD all over?" 😉
Dee L my heart
@@deel2167 This entire thing is an incredible idea omg
i would love that movie
BREAKING news
24:06
Man: "Someone killed some people over there!"
Jack: "oH nO, what are we gonna dooo?"
Man: "Throw up?"
Talk about comedic timing. 😂
🤣
That’s both funny and scary, bc it feels like the man heard him...
Oh noooo
Mission objective : Eliminate Janus, Nolan Cassidy
Jack : eliminates the whole neighborhood and fades away into the sewers
Pulling a reverse Pennywise
Oh no! Your dead!
Jack: I don’t want to rush in and kill people normally
Me: As if killing people is normal in the first place
What do you mean? Isn’t killing people normal....?
It isn’t?? Oh…whoops…
@@Cyanide_Surprise 😑🤦🏻♂️😒
@@raidenbabin726 😒🤦🏻♂️😑
wow😒🤦🏻♂️😑
*Jack Vibe-Check's people for 26 minutes*
jack: hits someone with newspaper
jack: TOP OF MORNINGGGGGG
BREAKING NEWS!
PLS FAV MINE
Completely normal ass
@@RJ-xz4ku don't beg for favorites.
كزتك،&-،،-،-،-،-،-،-،-،-،٢٦٨١٩٩٨١٧٢٧٢٦٢٦٢٧٢٩١٩٩+&-؛تريزيجيه ١على
Imagine just being at your house and a guy comes around and knocks you out with muffins and a newspaper.😂
Then he snaps your neck whilst your knocked out and kicks you down a manhole
Sounds like a lovely afternoon!
I would thoroughly welcome that
@@JuStDoNtRaG3 *barricades my house into a fortress* how about no
Hahahaha
Jack pelting a man with muffins while super intense music plays in the background was absolutely magical, 10/10 game, would muffin again
Jack: Guns are scary and they kill people
Also Jack: Kills someone with a newspaper
ReverZe Also Jack: Also with muffins.
Someone??
I think it's everyone
Almost as if that was the joke.
John wick after killing hitman with a book: am I a joke to you?
Jack: have you heard the news?
Everyone: *runs for their lives*
Run awaaaaay
they won't have enough time to scream, they'll already be dead
@@crimsonflare13 *THE FASTEST PAPER IN THE WEST*
Nobody:
Jack this whole episode: *NON TARGET KILLED*
😂👍🏿Jack🤏🏿
Alternate title, “Deranged bald man wearing suit goes around terrorising neighbourhood with newspaper.”
Or ceremonial robe. Or the Muffin Man's clothes.
The muffin man?
@@charlesthewoodchuck THE MUFFIN MAN!
@@charlesthewoodchuck the one who lives on drury lane?
@@williamshakespeare987 well she’s married to the muffin man
"Hugh Janus"
- Jack 2019
@Dylan Johnson I'm sorry but yes it kinda is
actually I'm pretty sure he picked that from the last F&F xD
Z-Twinturbo this is like a common ass joke jack definitely didn’t come up with it
I don’t get it
Yeah it's a pretty old joke lol..
9:00 I don't think he noticed, but he literally got an achievement called 'Breaking News'.
That is wonderful lmao
👌
I noticed USA Today. MaMiDraaa.. Ma'am m0 Grams. That hurts! Thanks!
5:44 This episode is just 26 minutes of silly shit XD
john wick kills 3 men in a bar with a pencil but jack kills a hole town with a newspaper
Jack is the actual John wick
Sry to be a smartass but it’s spelled “whole town” just for future reference
@@lupineye141 yes but the have a resident Mr. Hue Janus
24:50 Thats gotta be one of the best coincidence ever, the music ended as soon as Jack successfully killed everyone in the map with Newspapers and muffins
This also feels like a Horror comedy movie/show, where the Protagonist just goes around killing random innocent people and it’s primary targets
Jack: “I’m going to kill everyone and put them in the sewer. “
Pennywise: “damn. This place got room service now?”
Just an Ewok with internet access I like the like count
XD
Sorry pennywise
I can just imagine like throwing a corpse down and hearing
"Aah the meal has arrived?
@@TH3M3_ i
"You get your news and then you go into the hole!"- Jacksepticeye
people: "man, kids these days don't know what a news paper is"
Jack: "!" *Kills people with Newspapers*
More like” BREAKING NEWS. And then what u said
Why did I read the "!" With the MGS alert sound LMAO
12:57 Jack: that was a little dramatic.
Also Jack: HE DAAAAAB-
Jack: doesnt post hitman for a while
Me: *saddness noises*
Jack: randomly posts hitman video
Me: *happieness noises*
DON DON DON😱
Character: *unintentionally dabs in death*
Jack: *HE DABBED!!!!!!!!*
That got me..lol
on the jacksepticeye variety channel memes never die lol
I nutted.
12:51
Imagine seeing Jack in person with a screwdriver and newspaper in hand and having fear grip your heart as his head turns your way.
Shit just got FUCKIN REAL
"breaking news"
"actually the only news that is breaking is your neck"
that CRACKED me up XD
☝🏿 Hunting. ☝🏿 BOBBI.-GOGOGOGOOD🤔 Bonn. 🙂
Pft
The only thing cracking up are the roads here
*XDDX*
John Wick who killed 3 people with a pencil: _Ah, my true successor_
A beauty at its finest
John wick kill ppl with book in episode 3
Diana: Remember: A True Assassin NEVER calls attention to himself.
Jack: a TRUe AsSaSsIn NeVeR CaLlS aTtEntiOn tO hImSElF.
woah u watched the video too?
Well if this spelling means anything, than at least he was quieter when saying never.
A true assassin can kill a whole village with a newspaper
“What kind of irresponsible person would leave a weapon lying around?” *picks up muffin*
This is the real reason paper production is at an all time high. Seán feels the urge to deliver some breaking news all the time
“I can’t capuchupur”
-Jack 2019
Yes
He did say that
Yes
@aoife knowd we all call him jack so no matter
A whole new meaning for “Toss” Boy 😂
Hahahaha
Toss boy is from this serise
Toss boy thumbnail quote because why not.
*"I DUG YOUR GRAVE"*
Tell me why
ba dum *TSSSS*
imagine the news headline "entire neighborhood popilation found dead in sewers all appear to have wounds inflicted by newspapers"
No one:
CZcams: Hey wanna see a screaming Irishman obliterate a whole village?
Hugging-Hinckley-GOGOGOGOOD constitutional👍🏿 GOOD NONNOB bottom moon
"I just killed everybody with newspapers and muffins."
Sad screwdriver noises
Yeah, those lads deserved more credit~ this video would have never succeeded had it not been for those boys who were as charming as they were lethal! Seriously, no neck breaks required they were the one shot wonder weapon.
There was a screwdriver kill, though
And one lone apple hangs its head.
@@rockysmith6105 I have no idea what you mean but i agree
@@jameskimbrell6544I was speaking about the screw drivers. The first time jack couldn't split more than two people up he used screw drivers. Thanks by the way, have a good day!
12:59 Only OG's from Totally Accurate Battle Simulator remember this.
Jack should bring back TABS it was my favourite series ngl
HE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB!!!!!!
**gets outfit which explains vital information**
Jack: Look how cool I look!!
ZC-GOGOGOGOOD LO-GOGOGOGOOD PO-GOGOGOGOOD BONN CHINOOK VISIBLE CUBICLE MCGINNIS DETAILS DIGITAL
12:43
F to our fallen construction worker...
His last words were... "Put that thing down no- Ough, Bleugh."
*sees treehouse*
Normal people: Ooo a treehouse
Jacksepticeye: Ooo a newspaper sniper tower!
Sniper towers are great
Luke S. especially with newspapers
@@S_T_0_R_M. ...... with a good tiding.
And a real gun
Or a slingshot with newspaper...
No one:
Random old guy: “I remember the first time I had a blueberry muffin.”
I wish I could remember the first time I had a blueberry muffin. 😋 If that was a memory, it would have been one gooooooood muffin.
I wish i could remember my first cupcake
some Irish bastard starts chucking it at people. we don't know where he went, but we're cautious with this one too
*we can't risk it, not again*
*ok boomer*
I only remember my first muff.
Jack: “I don’t like guns, they’re scary. They kill people.” Literally killed hundreds of people in this game.. Hmmm 🤔.
A great line “an apple a day keeps the doctor away, NOT IN THIS CASE “
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, 'cause they're going straight to the morgue.
Most likely
I find myself always messing around, never finishing missions in this game. The sandbox type element of this game is truly fantastic.
"Newspaper kills!"
-Newspapers the next morning.
*Everyone starts to burn newspapers after reading it*
@Saber Turbo I already do that anyway. Not for the same reasons but I still do it
@@jennybeeT lol May I ask why?
@Henti_Haven because it makes warmth for one and for two 'cause it looks cool
And so..the newspaper were used in world war 3 a missiles
Imagine how embarrassing it would be for your gravestone to say "Killed by a Newspaper".
3:43 jack is the muffin man
“Oh my god, I can knock people out with newspaper-“
**realization**
*”I HAVE FOUND MY PURPOSE.”*
Please play borderlands 3
It’s me regular ass man -Jack 2019
Wow
Ass Man and The killer Paper. coming soon
"Nobody will notice, if there is nobody to notice."
Exactly, Jack generates big brain energy 😌
24:48 I know I'm years late, but the hilarity of Jack killing the last of the people in the map as the song crescendos with the lyrics "Who's got the last laugh now?" is just too freaking perfect.
4:58 "ARE YOU EVER GONNA RUN OUT OF MUFFINS"
"no,because i work at ze muffin factory"
I get the reference good sir.
@@Slendazzz HUZZAH!A MAN OF QAULITY
@@pewgun7832 damn right.
Yes yes yes..
Those good old days..
@@pewgun7832 qaulity
The game: “this is valuable information”
Jack: *running around in circles* “LOOK AT MY COOL, NEW ROBE”
Kareena Kohli YOU’RE A WIZARD JACKEY
"Follow the strange bold man, with a cape."
Me: Wait the pope? Ah no nevermind.
Saitama?
Krillin?
Nappa?
Greg Paul
Jack when he sees newspaper : nice a new weapon
Jack when he sees screwdriver : MY BABY IS BACK !
4:59
Guy: “Ow- hey, stop! Are you ever going to run out of muffins?”
Agent 47: “No, I work at ze muffin factory!”
Nice comment clone
😂😂😂😂😂
ASDF lol 😂
ASDF movie hahah 🤣🤣
Nice
Jack: dumping body’s in the sewer
Tmnt: see all the dead body
Leo: yo dude wtf
Mikey: yo the pizzas gone
Donald: wtf mike
Ralph: yeah what the f bro
He’s not playing hitman 3 😂
@@justinsteinbach2174 I know
teen age mutant ninja turles
@@yodabeast3269 lol
This video should be titled Hitman: Edna Mode Style
"Whoops! My finger slipped!!"
Throws newspapers at the speed of light.
"My fInGeR sLiPPeD aGAin''"
Must have some butter fingers
@@JustSomeLemon-IshLimes lol
@@JustSomeLemon-IshLimes Molten butter
Nobody:
Jack when he sees a mirror: *pep talk mode engages*
You... are... speed...
Sifter 2K I am kerchoo
@@shiblizaman6628 Hi kerchoo, I am dad.
imaging being a highly trained special agent and dying by one of jacks news papers
Somehow, I can imagine that
I have NEVER laughed as hard as I did when Seán started throwing muffins at that man’s head! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jack: "I don't wanna just rush in and kill people normally"
*Now killing people is normal*
Of course it is, what do you do in your spare time?
@@brinonymousredacted3809 I just torture them and let them go with life lasting trauma. No need to be rude and kill them.
@@arathoras12 I was always taught to take no prisoners. They're so needy, y'know?
This is america
@@arathoras12 but when you kill them you can lure in more when they come looking for them, its a self sustaining hobby.
Media: "Video games cause violence!"
Jack: "I could be called the muffin man!"
Proceeds to knock a man unconcious by pelting him with muffins
5:44 This episode is just 26 minutes of silly shit XD
OMG, between the Shrek scene use and the muffin sound effects.....I'm dying
Sean: Oh no he is dead what are we gonna do?
Guy: THROW UP!!!
Is this why dogs bark at mailmen? Because they know what they're capable of.
The dogs knew and they've been trying to warn us the whole time...why didn't we listen?
@@jesseperrella4022 Because we were ignorant, we pissed off a mailman and no one was prepared to handle one. So the town was no more.
@@jesseperrella4022 There are no breaking news anymore, there are only breaking necks.
(i got the idea form Rowan Pollard)
@@Mike-lx9qn some kid in that vault in that one house: (leaves) mom, dad, has anyone seen mom or dad... where is everyone?
@@xx_sirpotatosalad_xx879 The kid in that vault: *checks a garbage can* mommy?
Me: *Wearing headphones*
Jack: HE DABBED
Me: GODDAMMIT MY EARS
This is probably one of the best Hitman videos that I’ve seen.
Imagine going on holidays and coming back to your town with everyone dead
Jack: "Look at them all. Having fun. Enjoying themselves. Makes me sick."
Me: "Slow down there, Grinch. Let's get over Thanksgiving before we get to Christmas."
Jack: “Guns are scary, they kill people”
Also Jack: “In the hole you go”
Jack: guns are scary, they kill people
Ted Bundy: guns don't kill people. I kill people
jack: my name is shaun bro
@@jacklfirth spelled Sean
Justin Fernandez there’s a few ways to spell it and couldn’t be bothered checking which one lol
So we raise a hole awareness meeting
I like to think that Jack forgot to snap one of the first victims neck and he just wakes up and he like "the fuck happened here"
Jack: I don't want to pick up and kill people.
Also Jack: Snaps people's necks in game.
Jack: " She's to fast, I can't CAPUCHUPUR "
hitman is a stealthy kind of game
Jack: I'm going to kill EVERYBODY with a newspaper
Jack: *_"bREAKING NEWS_*_ _*_*throws newspaper*_*
Imagine if salesmen did that
Well, over population wouldn’t be a problem anymore.
Xx_sirpotatosalad_xX your reply is better than the actual comment XD
Trishiee V go back to gravity falls
Car salesman: A HUGE CAR SALE **throws car**
Jack is way too GD hysterical! It Should be illegal 🤣😂
RTGame: **kills everyone with blueberry muffins**
Jacksepticeye: "Amma wreck this whole man's career"
Exactly
RtGame is the first Muffin Man
@@ignitedfury4795 and @puppypasta finally a man of culture
was looking for this exact comment
Irishman v Irishman
Jack: Everyone is a little bit smarter than when they started this video.
Me: Everyone is also a lot more dead than when they started this video.
Jack: sees treehouse
Also jack: A nEwSpApEr SnIpEr ToWeR
Seán: "Steals newspapers from houses"
Also Seán: "These people have not been given the news yet"
"I can't capuchupur"
Why am I dying after this intro? 😂😂
Jack hit u with Newspaper
22:07 bro just said GYAT!!!
*Jacksepticeye gains muffins*
NPC: "Aw man, u ever gonna run out of muffins?"
Jack: "No, because i work at the muffin factory"
John wick: kills man with a pencil
Jack: kills village with a *newspaper*
John Wick: ARE YOU CHALLENGING ME?!
Jack: No I would never Mr Wick *waits for him to turn around while holding a newspaper*
@@durk5331 😂😂😂
A frikin newspaper
The Joker also killed a man with a pencil.
The day Jack gave Pennywise diabetes with so much food.
3:28 “This opens up a HOLE new world”
12:56
"When you got knocked the F out but you gotta stay LIT"
Jack: "I Killed An Entire Village With A Newspaper"
Me: " it is for the greater good"
*the greater good*
That's what I thought too 😂😂
Is that a hot fuzz reference
THE GREATER GOOD
SHUT IT!!
I love that director😍
Me, who has a mailman living below me: :sweats nervously:
So it's been 3 years since I watched this video. Time flies. Random story but I'll type it mostly just to remind myself how a simple quirky video got me through a tough situation. 3 years ago I was having the worst anxiety attack in my apartment, all by myself just me and my thoughts, nauseous and out of breath, felt like I was going to die and I went on CZcams to find something to distract me. This video came up on my explore page for God knows what reason, I played it on my phone as I struggled to get myself back together. All I could hear was this guy's voice and his laughter. The more I heard him enjoying his time I began to feel better. Until finally, I could breathe and process my thoughts. 3 years since that day. And I finally stumbled up with this video, searching endlessly for a hitman gameplay of a guy hitting NPCs with newspaper. Well that's it, thanks Jacksepticeye for unknowingly helping a dude fighting for his life against his own demons 3 years ago lol.
5:03 "are u ever gonna run out of muffins"
"no,becase i work at the muffin factory"
Asdf movie reference lol well done
If u know u know
"Is that someone dragging a dead body?"
47, bloody Newspaper and Screwdriver in hand "Dont worry, thats just my brother, had too much to drink at the party!"
The news paper : I’m not lethal
Jack: oh I think you are
5:17 I thought he was talking about one of the muffins
This is valuable information 47.
Jack: LoOk i’M aLL SwoOshiE
😂
Yes
Jack: Im here to kill you with a newspaper
Woman: Pulls out a gun
Then it is a fair fight
Newspaper deflects bullet off into the distance than jack throws it and it impales through the girls skull and jack tries to hide the body in a mail box.
i love how jack just walks away when two bodies are being incinerated