My Spouse Is Upset About What I Just Did!
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- čas přidán 2. 03. 2022
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She has a long, long road ahead of her marrying someone on disability and then on top of that, having a disabled child. I feel for her.
She's a bag holder
I am married and my husband is also disabled and has dozens of surgeries over the decades and had two kids. We agreed that I would handle the finances and although he did not attend Financial Peace University with me, he stayed home with the kids but he did agree that we needed to focus on paying off our debt. And we 100% agree that I would handle the finances. Mortgage is down to $90k and I feel so much better not having the cloud of debt over my head. You can do it!!
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕
Way to go!!!
We need more woman like you, blessings 🙏🏼
@@Itsdjsigi 👆👆thanks for watching
you can send a message
Great work! One note, Dave Ramsey would highly encourage that your husband attend Financial Peace University and have a seat at the table regarding finances. Just so he knows what is going on.
“Did the right thing in the wrong way.”
I’m very impressed by Dr John on his answer here
John is the best thing to happen to Ramsey Solutions after Dave.
Agree! John and Rachel are the only two personalities I enjoy listening to.
@@mlandrew6288 So funny…both of them drive me crazy. It’s Dave only for me. Anthony was cool too, but has disappeared.
John’s too soft
@@mlandrew6288 me too and anthony 😪
@@staceystrukel1917 Anthony was good half of the time. His demeanor didn't reflect that of the other personalities specially Dave. It seemed like there was some pressure and tension there at Ramsey but I'm sure he's happy now running his channel and that's all that matters.
Poor woman. Marriages are hard enough without spouses being on the same page.
Agreed.
Seriously
Not a bad thing paying off all the cc debts. Dave is correct about talking about it before hand.
He wanted some play money.he needs you greatly. Good choice
Paying off the debt right away makes it hurt now so it doesn't hurt later.
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕.
I agree! However, you have to have your feet on solid ground before you pay off the debt.... Was there an emergency fund in place? Were they current on their other bills? One thing is for sure, the disabled husband wasn't included at all in the decision 🤨. In this particular case the husband might have been right on paying the minimum payments to get their head above water.
as long as he does not rack up more debt... which I bet he will. He does not want to save.
Anyone think Dr John was smiling after saying "Hi Denicia" because it's like the opposite of "Bye Felicia" which he has said before or am I looking I into it 🤣
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕
No... It's because she wasn't answering at first
@@jazzymichael dang lol
My uncle had encephalopathy and could not read or write, he still worked all his life putting together furnature using diagrams.
I got Lutenient Dan vibes from this.
She ABSOLUTELY did the right thing in the WRONG WAY. His ANGER is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. Hubby and I disagree on paying off our mortgage. I want to throw 40K at it, he doesn't. I am responsible for our finances, I could throw that 40K towards it. Instead, I put X amount of dollars towards the principal every month. This way, I keep his trust. C'mon people, money should NOT break up your relationship.
Communication. Communication. Communication.
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕
yeah, I still side with her...the poor guy is just incorrect, shocking how you two pick up on people and listen so well. That is a gift.
2 years later and still wrong
@@v3Frank- and your IQ is still 3
That’s funny-John’s laugh. Dave’s eyebrows just went up and down. Very intuitive- that Dave !
He’s going to be surprised to see the money snowball now that they aren’t paying the minimums.
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕.
Yeah he has no right to be upset it is her money he didn’t contribute any money to the household.it’s because of her he has roof under his head.
@@queen.kristal8395 Would you say the same thing about a stay at home mom who chooses to not work? Would you say that her husband is the only reason she has a roof over her head? This dude isn't even a stay at home dad by choice. He can't work because he's disabled.
@@siddheshmirjankar910 ok he still doesn’t bring money no one wants to be disabled but it happens especially amputation but he needs to think about reality.
John is right....she going to leave him eventually
Also, maybe look at reassessing tax deductions so that you can get more money in your pocket now, and not have such a big return.
Never had a problem being broke,living within means,and debt free in the early years.
Wasn't broke long because without debt there's growth.
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕.
Keep your head up sis. God is on your side. It will get better.
Dave you are my adopted uncle you just don't know yet. John you are just awesome.
Seems like it’s rarely a money issue.
This is going through so much. I hope will be able to overcome their financial challenges.
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕.
Good initiative, bad judgement...... when you have a partnership, all parties need to have a say and you need to come to an understanding
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕
they already decided to spend the money (hence the debt). he cant throw a hissy fit when it comes time to actually get charged for it.
@@jimbragu he's not throwing a fit so much that it was spent, but understand, he is her partner, and all decisions that affect their marriage should be reasoned together, what the wife did was a hostile takeover..... with me being single, the only person I have to check with on decisions is me, but when you are married, there really is no I..... it becomes a we..... he may have intended to pay off the debt eventually, but he may have wanted to store some of those monies away so they would have a cushion to work with because their finances are not in the best of places..... plus he may be of the mindset that you don't go whole hog when money comes your way..... atleast a part of the monies should go to keep your head above water
@@christopherrosas2738 does she also need to ask for permission to pay the electric bill? this isn't her spending their money without consolation, its simply paying a bill they already had agreed to have.
@@jimbragu I see where you're coming from and no she doesn't have to ask to pay the electric bill..... but this is their money and before making drastic money decisions as she did, a partnership should always consult..... needs are not something that you really need permission for, but as a partnership, you both have to be on the same page..... what if he wanted to set some of the money aside for the medical expenses that they are guaranteed to incur.....
When she told Dave that his disability was bilateral amputee, Dave was like, "Oh...that is pretty serious."
But Dave is right, should have talked about it all first. Maybe some Ramsey youtube videos would help, or taking the course.
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕.
I think Dave was taken aback because usually the "disability" is a fairly dubious one where the person could probably find some work if they really wanted.
@@arthrodea Agreed. That's kind of what I was getting at.
My wife wasn't word when I first started making a budget. But she understands it and is totally fine with it.
I have line items for just about every conceivable expense you can think of. If one comes up that we didn't think of we just created another line item.
But the caller and her husband do need to get at the same page
I think the husband should try earning some income within his abilities. Disability allows him to earn some money without getting kicked off the program. And hubby needs financial education so he understands how being debt free is way better than making minimum payments, which might temporarily improve your cash flow situation but leave you trapped in poverty.
I’m not sure it’s that simple. It wasn’t in my case. I was on disability for about a year after injuries in the military and if I made any income I would have to report it and they would basically negate it from the disability. The only logical reason to work part-time, which was all I could do at that time, was just to get experience in that field. The money was completely offset.
I don’t know if things have changed since then though.
Im sorry but a double amputation does not mean you cant work or make money. At bare minimum he can work from home as telephone operator.
Agreed. If your brain is ok, you can WORK.
Love your attitude
A telephone operator? What century is this?
There are always opportunities ... most people just don't look for them .
@@rays242 I think she meant customer service or customer support.
John: Why the need to cut her off with a cackle?
Yep. She did the right thing in the wrong way. They must agree this is all around very sad
John was right on the money
I don't know I feel like these answers are kind of out of touch what if he served in the military and lost his legs in Afghanistan Iraq
Now they have cash flow... the husband needs to realize that.
Buy him a 12-Pack 🍺
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕
Dave said she did the right thing in the wrong way. Would it have been the right thing if she didn't first have an emergency fund set aside?
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕.
You make a fair point, the end goal is to be out of debt, and when you're single is different than when you're married..... when you are single all money decisions go through you and only you, but when you are married, it is a partnership and money decisions have to go through both the husband and the wife and they have to come to a meeting of the minds..... in business what she did would be considered a hostile takeover..... I think the husband wants to pay off the debt, but he understands that they need money set aside for life happening, but she didn't hear him out and that is why he is upset with her now
He just meant that paying off debt aggressively is the best plan, but doing that behind your husbands back is not the right way to do it.
I am curious how much was ??
On disability ? I'm shocked.
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕
The guy is disabled..
Tell that to the double amputee won a medal in the Olympics
@@dawnraquel6891 and you think he does not collect disability? You are clueless.
i would have added that she could also just show him the total cost of paying off the cards just using minimum payments verses the total that she just paid.
You could do that with a normal person. Not with a person who's an absolute self-centered idiot, like the husband shown here.
"Hey Danisha how are you?"
"Fine :)"
"How can we help?"
"My life is a mess..."
Bilateral APG? I’ve never heard of this as a doctor. Can anyone enlighten me?
*amputee
His opinion wasn't necessarily wrong. They teach that you need to cover your "four walls" before paying your debt - food, utilities, rent, transportation to work. If she paid on debt without covering those items, then his opinion may also have been correct based on what they teach. We didn't get all that info.
I would love it my wife did that!!!! But nope it’s vacation time 🤨
This woman cant catch a break.
Without discussing it with her husband. Absolutely not a biblical marriage.
He wanted rims and a big tv
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕
If I’m disabled I would never marry a women that makes or is gonna make more then me… that’s how problems start… I feel like a bum tbh
What if you wasnt disabled ??
Perhaps they got married first and are in love, and his amputations happened later.
@@arthrodea no nothing with the amputations… sorry… I’m saying a disability before marriage… love is love… I seen people struggle together and grow rich together but if I had “any” disability I wouldn’t like my wife to work all the time and me at home… I rather just casually date and just stick to myself.. if I was in someone else’s shoes… no shade on any people with disabilities… 🙏🏼👍🏼
@@GuffWantsGifts559 What if you got disabled during the marriage? Are you going to throw your marriage away because you make less money than your wife. If you are making decisions based on the amount of money the people in a marriage makes, you shouldn't be or get married. Salaries and situations change all the times through the marriage, it should not be an issue about who makes more money.
@@kaycon4823 I believe in that, if you are loved and one of you becomes disabled is a tragedy, and love overcomes all but I’m saying… I’m a 90s baby, I see social media and everything love ain’t reallu like it was back in the day… it’s more like women make their own and don’t need a man or if you don’t make enough you’re unless to a women… some women are good but mostly all I’ve seen online and social media have that mindset… and I believe if a young couple in days age got married by 23 and someone got disabled by 25-26 I strongly believe that someone is filing for divorce soon… but I may be wrong..
Her story is not true.
She is hoping to be praised.
I really don't see much hope for the marriage in the long term. She is going to get resentful if she isn't already. She is pulling most of the weight along with the disabled child. Unless her husband can step it up at home while she is at work? I don't know what bilateral entity is, or what the limitations are, but this lady needs help at home if she is working full time and has a disabled child also. She will burn out and become disabled herself. I know from personal experience.
Bilateral amputee. Both legs or both arms amputated.
Thought she was going to say “mentally disabled” when Dave asked 😂
Why is that funny
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕
Claxton, not being happy about having your cc debt paid off when your family is trying to move out of the grandparents house is dumb. That is funny. However, He was right to be upset about her going around his back paying off the debt
What's the humor??
How does Dave feel about disability income? Seems like he’d be against it in principle.
He might be against it if people used it as a crutch.
@@DoctorSmartyPants if you are diabled... how do you want them to use disability income? WOW... another clueless person.
Why would he be against it? I didn't hear him say anything like that in the conversation.
@john Smith most disabled people can work, if he's in a wheelchair he can still sit at a desk.
@@COINsimp2024 yes!! A lot of people on disability are just allergic to working, I am not talking specifically about this guy, but I have seen a door greeter that is wheelchair bound at Home Depot.... There is a job for just about anyone!!
He be better off being disabled or not getting a job because disability pays what maybe $1000 to $1200 a month.
Disability payment depends on his earnings history.
@@lynnebucher6537 true
John. So cringy on that opening. Yikes.
She absolutely did the right thing. What would she have accomplished by talking with him first? He would still be thinking that making the minimum payment was FINE. I think they need some counseling going forward, and if they can't agree on a plan for the future, she needs to go her own way.
Honestly he has no right to be upset.he doesn’t work and has a disabled child who also will never be able to work too, and she is the breadwinner I believe the breadwinner should make the decisions on what’s right.she did what was best for the family.also if he wants a say he should get a job using his hands or do office work
Marriage isn’t about “rights.”It’s about teamwork, unity, and sacrifice.
Easier said than done. It's my understanding that once you're on disability and you decide to go back to work and you think you can make it happen and then afterwards you find out it's not or can't make it workout, you can forget about flicking a switch and magically you're back on disability. Of course I referring to people legitimately on disability not the people that are faking it and spend the week replacing their garage roof when they supposedly have a bad back.
If the man were the breadwinner and made all the decisions, that would just be taken for granted.
@@christinebutler7630 lots of truth there. But my dad controlled the money with an iron fist (1954-1968) and it helped destroy my parent's marriage.
Lol he a bum
John automatically assumes she is running the household and her husband is doing the minimum. Why does he always come from a position which puts the male half of the relationship in a negative light?
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕.
He a simp
Well husband doesn’t have a job or income, so…0
@@adamseidel9780 Correction, the husband is a disabled amputee! He can't contribute as much as he'd like to.
@@joecookDE No he using his disability as an excuse. A double amputation doesnt mean you cant earn money. Obviously his mind and mouth work. With that only you can make money.
She sounds A LOT like another lady.
If she divorced him she should get a better job afterwards otherwise she might have to pay alimony
They are now broke thanks to Dave.
If only they had income.
They have income. If she paid all the debt, then the next check will be free to do what they want/need with it.
@@kaycon4823 its gonna take years to get back the money they used to pay off debt. Its better to pay little at a time so all your money is not gone.
@@miketheyunggod2534 They are not trying to get back the money. The don't need to get it back because they will have money the next check. Except they won't have to be sending money to the creditors. They are trying to move forward and get into a position where the money that was going to the debt can now be put to better use. Like investing which PAYS YOU interest instead of you paying interest.
Paying minimum payment is what what keeps them in a hole.
@@kaycon4823 don't pay minimum. You can pay more. I can't see draining all my money and have nothing left in case I need it. Having zero cash is frightening.
Time to get a new husband...husband is a freeloader...
I said the same thing that’s her money not his he doesn’t even work
😎✌👍👌🖖🤓
She should just give her kid up for adoption and file for divorce!
Thankfully she has more integrity than you do.
Is this a man or woman?
BLM ✊🏿
This doesn't make sense. I think the husband should have been notified about the decision, but the decision is fine.
HeLpLiNe 💬📞🖕
Oh you support marxism? How fantastic. Mao and Stalin agree with you.
@@saulgoodman2018 they’re brainwashed. It’s about everything.
Broke folks that don’t like in US love down talking other folks in the US… stereotyping and insulting makes y’all’s lives matter ✌🏽