The Me You Don’t See | Tiffany Williams | TEDxWashingtonCorrectionsCenterforWomen
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- čas přidán 7. 04. 2015
- Tiffany wishes prison could be more like fractals, even though prisons do have routines.
At 17 Tiffany was incarcerated and that is where her life began. A lot of her previous life’s memories are vague and lost. She really wants to be known for the good things she has done in her life, instead of the bad. A few years ago, Tiffany was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, which has given her a deeper understanding of herself.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
People on the spectrum often feel empathy even more intensely than the regular person. We just can't express or interpret it.
This is only 2015, and look at the myths being spread.
I’m on the spectrum, and very much struggle in the world due to overactive empathy. It’s quite overwhelming, but it does help me to see multiple perspectives and sides to a given situation or person, to see qualities in just about anyone. It does help to have a more balanced & nuanced view of the world.
Definitely true, to the point where I won't talk cause if anxiety knowing how intense I can be. So there's a million things I think of, but am too scared
While this is true, and I'm certainly a highly sensitive person when it comes to harm done to others, I still only scored a 27 on the Empathy Quotient assessment.
Simon Baron Cohen (who is mentioned here) divides between cognitive empathy and affective empathy. Psychopaths don’t have affective empathy, but nonetheless, the do have cognitive empathy. On the other hand, Autistic people do have affective empathy but lack cognitive empathy.
Check out his lectures
I have Asperger’s, but wasn’t diagnosed until I was 24. Before that I struggled and suffered in school and in the workplace a lot.
The truth is we don’t suffer from our autism, we suffer because of the way people treat us!
That is so true.
I spent half of my 120 treatment in the hole because I couldn’t hardly adapt to prison. I was on suicide watch a lot. Prison was very difficult for me but I’m grateful for the experience. I learned a lot about myself.
Wow! As an aspie girl I was thinking this before she revealed it. To her I am so sorry but you are so wonderful and inspiring to me!!
@@maevemcd4692 no, she got in fights with some ladies and used a knife
As a mom of a son who has ASD and just graduated from high school, I absolutely loved this talk: she’s very genuine and sincere and she’s worked through and continues to work through her challenges, but perhaps the biggest one is accepting herself
if he is, you or his dad probably are, too. its not something we have like we can put it down like a purse - its who we are. We are aspie. We are autistic. We are neurodivergent.
Being an aspie is hard. It must be very hard being one in prison.
That's why killing any neurotypical who bullies you isn't worth it. Karma came to quite a few of my former bullies. Serves them right.
Dear Tiffany, My daughter is 44 yrs old and I believe that she has Asperger's traits. I wish that she could embrace that she is special and unique with many gifts even though she was born thinking as she does. I believe that I have Asperger's traits. So much of what you talk about brings me to things that my daughter and I have struggled with in our lives. I send my wishes and blessings with great hopes that you are able to live a life full of joy and productivity wherever you are. God Bless You!
If she was treated properly from the beginning chances are she would not have gone to prison.
prison is for punishing individuals over the problems with society
I am on the spectrum myself and very inclined to agree with you, granted I am one who says disability is not an excuse for bad behavior yet I was diagnosed with autism when I was 2 and a half but sadly she had to end up in prison to get diagnosed, no I do not condone what she did that got her there but you do ask a good question as it is possible she might not have committed murder to begin with if she had been diagnosed earlier in life and gotten needed help.
Granted since she was a minor when it happened she will be allowed to be released eventually (2027 is projected potential release year) but I do have to wonder if she is even going to want to be let out after all these years of being locked up once the time comes, I mean yeah I've never been arrested myself and my only time inside of a cell was touring police station including the holding cells (and I have the pictures to prove I got to be inside of a cell and a selfie video as well), but alas considering being aware that routines do exist in the prison system, this really leaves me wondering if she will be afraid to get out once the time comes for release.
Granted I do indeed believe she is no longer the person she was at the time of arrest and conviction and that she is a much more pleasant person and one who wants to do good, yet I would totally understand if she was ever afraid to be released in the future, not to say that she is and not to say that she isn't, but I would understand if she didn't want to be let out.
Ryan McReynolds I agree with not using a disability as an excuse, god knows I have plenty of things that don’t work right. But I don’t believe people do things like this randomly, there’s always cause and effect and the given choices a person may have aren’t clear to others. We don’t know her life experiences, her genetics, or what choices she felt she had at the time the crime was committed. It can be so easy to just throw someone away for making such a choice, without trying to understand why it happened. And in this country especially, people are thrown away for making a mistake in their lives and often not given an adequate second chance.
Being released from prison with a criminal record and lack of marketable job skills does not give one a very good foundation to start over and have a second chance. Ignoring whatever damage often comes about while in prison. Certainly some people are able to do it and lead a good life afterwards, but most don’t have a ton of luck. Many aren’t able to see legal means of supporting themselves and end up in lives of crime, creating a vicious cycle.
Over-incarceration in this nation has destroyed so many lives.
@@nou5913 “Society makes you who you are and then blames you for it.” ~me~
@@leetv2223 I know that all too well. I also know that society didn't break me, but it made me what I am today: tough out of the necessity to survive. The way I see it, there are two kinds of autistics: the survivors and the dead. I'm glad I belong in the former category. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't weaned myself off antipsychotics?
Never seen a TEDx from incarcerated people before. Very interesting.
There was some misinformation in this but it was a good talk nonetheless. She's interesting, I wish I could see more videos of her
What was the misinformation? (I haven’t watched the whole thing so sorry if it’s obvious)
Thank you for your awesome, informative speech. Too many adults, especially women fly under the radar. It can be absolutely disastrous without a proper diagnosis. Kudos to you for surviving prison as an Aspie.
Surviving anything is a struggle. But what's the alternative? Dying? No thanks. Not anymore. I did want to die once. I would go inside myself to die. Now there are five reasons keeping me going. Four nephews and one niece who accept me no matter what.
Just met Tiffany in the last couple months. She’s great! Very nice Ted talk
I see people claiming what she did doesn't give her a right to have a platform. If we do not make space for those who have done negative things to heal, how will the world heal? If we do not realize that people can still change and grow then we are allowing hatred to stay, she obviously wants to make the best out of her life for what it is. She is trying to help others with autism who may end up in a similar situation. Not everyone with a life sentence would act this way or try to have some kind of positive influence.
She has a life sentence?
I couldn't do what she did because in the real world, actions have consequences. Once you take that step towards killing, there's no turning back.
Wow, that really made me think in how I see others, I hope everyone that watches this presentation make a real reflection
Tiffany, you are an amazing person with so much to offer ! I have gained a much better understanding of Asperger's as a result of getting to know you. Thank you for sharing !!
Correction: It's now 1 in 48 people who have Asperger's. As a person with Asperger's, I know this more updated fact.Fractals *are* awesome.
Thoroughly thoroughly enjoyed your views Tiffany. Your an amazing speaker and I absolutely agree with everything you had to say about "thyself" "normality" and "differences." I especially love how you expressed that "normal" is an option on the washing machine cycle. I had a good giggle. I look forward to more videos :-)
I've watched a lot of TedTalks today that've been given by someone on the Austism Spectrum. I've also read the comments under each one.
This video is the *only* one that isn't full of encouragement & praise but is instead full of judgement, accusations & hateful words.
Yes, I've read what people claim she did. Her talk wasn't about that.
How about we use the same standards in life for everyone and either start looking up & shouting about the worst things everyone's ever done in their life, starting with yourself, or we judge a person based on who the *ARE* instead of who they were.
Are you the same person you were when you did the thing you regret most? When you hurt someone worse than you've ever hurt anyone else? When you've lost your temper? Thrown a tantrum?
I hope not. I hope you've learned from your mistakes and grown. I know I have.
Very well said, Lady D.
Agreed. Very easy to sit there and judge others whose lives we don’t understand.
I think this is more projection than anything, as people who are truly at peace with themselves and not judging themselves harshly are often more empathetic to others and their struggles. I know I stopped harsh judgement of others once I finally learned to forgive & love myself. Not that I ever really did anything terrible, but had always hated myself so much for most of my life because of who I am. Now I feel immense empathy for others and can often put myself in their shoes, which is heartbreaking.
Our choices are never someone else’s choices in life, so it’s pointless to sit there and claim “I wouldn’t have done that.” Well, you don’t know. There’s cause and effect, reasons people do things. One doesn’t wake up one day and out of the blue decide to kill someone. It’s just a waste of energy to try and assume you would have done better than someone else had the roles been reversed, or that you are somehow better than someone else.
(Not referring to YOU specifically, of course).
Yes i agree. Now who is showing no empathy... The "normal"??
@@sunshinebreeze1
I've always found so called "normal people" the problem. If they were no such people as "normal people" they would be no discrimination or racism, normal people are the creators of discrimination and racism.
The majority of suffering Autistic people go through is not because of the Autism, but stems from the selfish expectations of the society wanting us to be "normal".
The disease is ignorance, unacceptance, intolerance and fear of differences in other people.
Fortunately, I don't see Autistic people with that disease.
Well, sorry, but it's really offending to say that those with Aspergers don't feel empathy!!! Not everyone has got or hasn't got certain traits....
particularly since lacking empathy is incorrect; the majority of the problems stem from misinterpreting the empathic cues, or returning unexpected responses. one might be able to tell that something is wrong, but be utterly unable to figure out what it is, or one might interpret the cues correctly, but get the response wrong. much of the social problems are failing to read or display the expected sub-verbals. this can masquerade as lacking empathy but isn't the same; the empathic link is broken, confused, misdirected, or derailed, not absent.
also, something that makes it seem like we don't have empathy is because we struggle to express the empathy we feel. We are empathetic, just sometimes don't know how to express that
Daaaamn that was hard.
artlessknave a perfect example is my grandson came up behind me, hugged me, and said maybe this is what they say love is. He knew he loved me but what and how was not clear. It has never come up again, that once was huge, now it is just my hugs and my telling him I love him.
As a small kid I had pretty much none, but now I've got too much empathy for everybody and anybody.
Beautiful speech ❤️
Thank you for sharing. This was helpful.
I can relate alot to this.
The 1 thing that very different for me though, is I'm horrible at math & it didn't help that I had to change schools about 20xs during my life.
Great speech, thank you 👍
🖤 Elizabeth
Yes! I hated math but was fascinated with numbers and could remember numbers that interested me. I also changed schools 20 times 😭
Great job Tiffany!!
It is our differences that make us beautiful
You have nailed it, this is me.....
Buzz Buzz brilliant. You talk directly to to other neuro diverse. But the syndrome is affected by abuse (learnt behaviour) thank you.
It seemed that the applause and hooting of the audience drove the speaker off the stage at the end!
Brilliant talk ☺️
I wish more people in my life were like you
That was great !
normal is a cycle on a washing machine. yes.
Thank you for this Ted Talk.
I would be interested in knowing how it's going since you've been released.
nice talk
I loved it
My youngest brother, who is an "Aspie", cried for four days after I had to have our cat Omar put down. He is one of the most empathic human beings I've ever met. I'm Bi-Polar, and even though I know it's not normal, I'll beat someone to death if they try to victimize him. I cannot countenance needless cruelty.
Nor I.
She's right. No one is normal.
Great speech on autism.
There's a book called Butterfly in the Water you might like, a fiction book to pass the time.
Hey Tiffany, its Liesl 😻😻. Ive watched this video a few times, love it. If you get this and message me I would love to catch up.💕💕
Someone has link for "Freehold" group?
Unsure she's correct about en Empathy quotient, I am autistic too and I scored 12. But my assessor said it was too much empathy, rather than a lack of.
i have Asperger's and i hate math
Same here but i love sciences.
when the me you dont see its because i dont need to see it to belive it.
Please refer to a "closed" Facebook account, "Westlake Academy Charter School Corruption & Administrative Retaliation" which lists the City of Westlake's legal representative's PRIVATE email discussion between (1) the Texas Education Agency legal counsel representative and (2) the parent's special education law firm during administrative due process hearing for Child Find violation. The parent's lawyer sent the school lawyer's private email discussion to the parent in ERROR. The school lawyer's private email and other numerous email correspondent letters data shows CLEAR evidence for SPECIAL EDUCATION CORRUPTION and substantiated proof for federal and state violation in acts of CONSPIRACY to defraud a Federal funded program and the government
She doesn't has alexithymia. Just by the way she expresses emotion.
When we reach the point with our Artificial Intelligence where it has general intelligence... some point in their development they will be similar to some people with Asperger's.
Eric Lawrence,
It's actually hypothesised that over 90% of technology including AI is invented by autistic people. Neurodiversity shows Autistic minds function in a systematic way explaining things like routines, all technology is systematic, it makes perfect sense a systematic brain will think of systematic things.
Considering how much research I've done I'm coming to an evident theory that all we assume to be "autism symptoms" have nothing to do with autism, but because of diversity in neurodevelopment known as neurodiversity.
Let's take hypersensitivity for example.
According to my studying hypersensitivity only occurs when an individual is overstimulated, nonautistic people can be overstimulated and have hypersensitivity, so hypersensitivity actually has nothing to do with Autism.
One piece of neurodiversity is an autistic brain doesn't filter out unnecessary information like a nonautistic brain which increases stimulation increasing how likely an autistic person will be overstimulated, that's why we see it in Autistic people more.
When someone is in anxiety, fear, fatigue etc. the reactions we find are things like heart attacks, seizures, panic attacks, increase heart rate, loss/increase of awareness (hypersensitivity) in all people.
My theory is that Autism is actually a condition that causes the desire and will to live as authentic people anywhere, anytime that underlies the neurodiversity.
Less empathy? I suffer from having more of it :)
I'm sorry for what happened to her and her family, and it is obvious that society should improve its way to deal with these issues. Nonetheless, one can't ignore there are lines that can't be crossed and the world cannot realistically work in the way all people want all the time...
I don't condone what she did, but I understand why she did it. There's been many a bully or bystander I've wanted to do away with. But killing them will never undo what they said or did, nor would it make me a better person.
why is she in prison?
She murdered her father.
Well,that'll do it...
@@orenchlor4578 I wonder what he did.
@@Rattus-Norvegicus What neurotypicals do: fail to understand autistics and just expect them to be "normal."
Well, I got 14 in the empathy quotient, which is just one point more than her. I too, was diagnosed with Asperger's.
q qik
I scored 9, should I be worried?
TibbyRaylyn I myself am not knowledgeable enough about the EQ, but I shall acquire more knowledge to learn if it is possible to improve. But my current and dominant view of it, is that there is nothing wrong with being different, and that we function differently. There is a great amount of pros in there, if you would neglect the cons. it depends on where you look. So should you be worried? My reply to that is, it depends on you; in other words, if you think so. IQ, EQ, whatever Qs there is, are standardized tests that was created but a subjective mind looking for objectiveness of the human intelligence (which is not really measurable). The truth is, it's not called stupid, it's called different. It's not called disorders, it's called non-standardized minds. My affective empathy is intact and I rely on that over cognitive empathy. Whatever you have, focus on that.
Is there anywhere one can do this test? I was diagnosed with Asperger's too and now I'm curious what I would score.
I only make eye contact with dogs and babies
I can relate. One little girl I met while out walking one cold morning took a shine to me because I said I liked her hat (yes, I really did!). Whenever I saw her again, she'd always say hello.
💗
Considering how much research I've done I'm coming to an evident theory that all we assume to be "autism symptoms" have nothing to do with autism, but because of diversity in neurodevelopment known as neurodiversity.
Let's take hypersensitivity for example.
According to my studying hypersensitivity only occurs when an individual is overstimulated, nonautistic people can be overstimulated and have hypersensitivity, so hypersensitivity actually has nothing to do with Autism.
One piece of neurodiversity is an autistic brain doesn't filter out unnecessary information like a nonautistic brain which increases stimulation increasing how likely an autistic person will be overstimulated, that's why we see it in Autistic people more.
When someone is in anxiety, fear, fatigue etc. the reactions we find are things like heart attacks, seizures, panic attacks, increase heart rate, loss/increase of awareness (hypersensitivity) in all people.
My theory is that Autism is actually a condition that causes the desire and will to live as authentic people anywhere, anytime that underlies the neurodiversity.
Omg did you just copy/paste this?
@@Rattus-Norvegicus
No.
Ever since I first heard I were autistic (2000) I were curious about what it meant. One of the first things I read is it's a spectrum which made me look for lots of autistic people to try and find a common factor among all people on the spectrum.
@@danielmoore4024 Actually I apologize. After reading it more thoroughly I actually understand what you were trying to say and I agree. It makes sense now that I read it and really think about it. I was in a bad mood earlier and I apologize.
В русских субтитрах совершенно некорректен перевод словосочетания "bumblebee whisperer". Он правильно звучит как "заклинатель шмелей", аналогично более распространëнному "заклинателю змей" ("snake whisperer") Слово whisperer в данном случае переводится как "дрессировщик", "заклинатель", отсылаясь к способности человека находить общий язык с животным и тренировать его. Дословный же перевод этого слова просто бессмысленный.
She's dressed like she's still in prison
She is in prison
@@deliacohen oh
What I see here is, I can't relate so I'm not responsible.
The hurried authorization uncommonly offend because sense postsurgically heap per a thundering iris. overt, legal rod
Her father had over 70 stab wounds... I *guess* that qualifies as repetitive interests...
How long has she been in prison and how long is her sentence? The system has failed these people. Proper psychiatric care is non existent. “Here’s a pill”.
@@garseetr I know all about that. "Take a tablet for me" Dr. Drug-pusher said. "It's perfectly fine" he said. He lied to me. But I didn't kill him. I decided to let Karma do its job.