Personal Tragedy's Effects on Creativity
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- čas přidán 6. 03. 2024
- When Adam Savage makes props in his shop, is he doing it for money or out of passion for the source material? Does Adam have any advice for a maker is struggling after losing his wife of 34 years to cancer? In this live stream excerpt, Adam answers these questions from Tested members Michael Spalsbury and @mszirmay, whom we thank for their support (and again, our sympathies, @Joinmszirmay). Join this channel to support Tested and get access to perks, like asking Adam questions:
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Adam, I lost my first wife in 2001 when my son was 10 years old. When you see that gentleman in Vancouver next month just let him know. Don’t worry about tomorrow until today is over.
Adam, the thing that connects the most distant of us is this. We can make. mistakes, soultions, creations, fun.
Peter, that is profound advice. I got diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer and was given 5 months to live... that was in 2006! Life has a funny way of continuing while we try to puzzle out what the heck is going on. Thank you sir, for a new way of looking at life.
This was a live stream video recorded Jan 24th (the white text at the beginning of the video kinda blended in with his sewing table), and "next month" had already come to pass. But hopefully we can keep your comment at the top and then they'll see it here, as it's good advice...
When you're distraught, trying to worry about days in advance is... stressful, and exhausting. So indeed, just focus on the now and deal with the future at the moment it becomes the present. Granted, for situations that absolutely need planning, that's unavoidable... but for everything else, don't burden your now-self with it. 👍
I feel the grief discussion so keenly after my wife stepped away from the cancer battlefield at the end of ‘22. When she was diagnosed I stopped almost everything creative. “How can I have things I enjoy when she’s going through this??” And I haven’t been able to restart until recently. Grief does a number on you. Big or small it affects everything in those moments and later. It’s hard not to get stuck in it. It’s kinda like being in the center of a sinking mud puddle. To get out you pick a direction and go. It’s a slog but it doesn’t matter which direction you go. You’ll get out if you keep going. You’ll end up dirty and tired, but you’ll be out. And that’s the end goal imo.
Thanks Random, I lost my wife at the end of January, and I'm still totally without motive, because my motive for living is gone. Even so, as you say. I need to pick a direction and go. I just can't seem to decide upon a direction.
I once said, "it takes 3 weeks to a month to overcome or change a habit, my caring for her became a habit. I'm just now beginning to pull out of the adjustment period, Soon I may pick a direction and get moving again.
Once again, I needed your input.
@@robertweldon7909 dude it’s been a year and a half and I’m just now getting back up. Take however long you need and don’t let anyone tell you how long grief should take. Be mindful if people are pointing out you’re heading downward but don’t let them tell you your grief doesn’t matter. Everyone handles it differently. Take care and stay safe!
Yea, no. That's nice to think about but every situation is different. Losing a partner is nothing like losing your only child. Or a child, period.
You don't "get out of..." that grief. Ever. I know this personally. You spend the rest of your life missing a GIANT part of yourself. The part that died with your child. Wondering about that child. Wishing for that child. Longing for that child. Missing that child. From the moment you wake until the moment to go back to sleep. If you're lucky enough to sleep.
Me? I spent the first 6 or 7 years sleeping 1-3 hours/night on average. I cried every day for over 7 years. Every day. Why didn't I sleep? Because every time I wake up, I have to come to the realization, again, that my child is gone. I have to accept it. Again. It's literally like living in the movie "Groundhog Day".
So waking up is the worst part of my day. I wake up angry. Every. Single. Day. I wake sad. It's a pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
And no, you never get out of it.
@@J.C...I’m sorry for your loss and sorry you are stuck. Please find some professional help.
@@J.C... I'm sorry you feel like this, and it's valid that you feel like this, but how would you feel if someone looked at you and said that "every situation is different, losing a kid isn't as bad as xyz", point blank. That's a very bold, incorrect statement of you to assume how another person grieves.
Please seek grief counseling. That hole inside will never feel whole again, even with counseling. You learn to grow around it instead.
I was a full-time caregiver for my parents for many years. I lost my Dad to ALS, and lost Mom in November 2022. She survived 5 cancers, but the lasting effects of the treatments finally took her. She joined my Dad in Arlington National Cemetery this past week, but I couldn’t attend the service because I’m now dealing with my second round of cancer. Grief has been my constant companion, and I find it difficult to find much joy in life. Thankfully I have a Velcro kitty with a very soothing purr.
So deeply sorry to hear what you're going through! I'm dealing with alot of deaths in my family right now and to say it's not fun is an understatement.
On my 3rd case of cancer; throat surgery, throat nuking & chemo, then nuking my liver.
It ain't the cancer that's hard or difficult, it's the treatment. I've went from 64 & laying asphalt w/ 20 yr olds & out working them to feeding through a 6 mm tube in my belly going on 4 yrs, no saliva function, a Rx supplimented thyroid & 24/7 toothache-like jaw pain after tooth removal... oh, yeah, something called First Bite Syndrome as a result of the neck surgery.
That little twinge we get in our jaw when we eat something sour/sweet/tart, etc? Since 2020, I get an ice pick just below my ear jolt of pain, instead.
My sympathy goes out to you for the loss of your parents. I lost mine more than a 2 decades apart & it was still rough.
Be prepared, people, if you ever get the cancer diagnosis, the toughest part is the effects of treatment. Being prepared for it, which I wasn't, will help immensely.
Here's hoping you never hear the words, You have...
GeoD
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now. Almost exactly 24 hours ago I found my kitten who I’d rescued from a breeder who had a bunch of sick babies. I nursed her back to health over 4 months but she succumbed to heart disease suddenly last night due to complications with the sicknesses. She won every battle but ultimately lost the war. I’d been bonding with her every single day during my time off from working outdoors this winter. I couldn’t say no. Not many people get to take the winter off from working and have an emergency vet tech as a wife. She had the best life she could have had in her short time span and I’m absolutely heartbroken. Eyes still swollen, still weeping as I remember certain moments. I thought she was doing so well, she was so much better - but the underlying heart stuff is almost impossible to detect until it happens. Sure, it’s a cat, but she’s been my companion and my baby. Been trying to tell myself I need to grieve and not to block it out, but also feel like being busy would help keep my brain busy while my heart feels like it’s been ripped out and stomped on. Heading down to clean up my shop basement right now. Thanks Adam.
I heard you say you are going to be in Vancouver, and my heart soared for just a moment... Then I realized you probably meant the other one up north in Canadia...
My granddaughter is the one who got me back into making when my depression got the best of me for a while. She asked me if I could make her a new trinket box, something she had never done before, and I realized that I was thrilled just to be asked. I wasnt thrilled about staining a beautiful myrtlewood box pink... but she wants pink, she gets pink... Its nice to be back in the shop.
I suddenly lost the love of my life after 6 short, incredibly blissful years together. Getting back to making just wasn’t happening for me. It was over a year before I could sit down to pickup and finish the piece I was doing when she died. She was an artist and had helped me get the paint colors right on previous pieces and this one too. She was the only person I shared my work with. It was so hard to go back, to do anything.
I finished that piece to a level I’d never previously achieved, truly my best work, and dedicated it to her. But there’s been very little making since then, over 3 years ago. But my creativity turned back to an old friend, music, and I’ve been spending most of my free time playing guitar instead.
We’re never the same after a loss, and the more trauma associated with that loss, the more it will change us. I’m a different person now, and I make music instead of things, but I’m filled with peace, if not the bliss I once had. That’s about as good as we can hope for after traumatic loss. Given what happened, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Much peace to all of you. ✌️😌💜
Adam, I have to tell you that you and MYTHBUSTERS have made who I am. As I was 14 I started watching the show, I got into 2 things since then - English, which I have mastered and been teaching for the last 9 years and making stuff - my hobby. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you've done for me. From Siberia with love
God bless you. May peace be with you, and I hope you know that Russians have friends here in the USA, regardless of the current situation.
Sorry for your loss, if you ever see this. Grief is the deepest pain a human can feel. But it's not forever. Nothing ever is.
Sometimes carrying on with normal tasks or projects in the face of personal tragedy can be grounding for many people. It can provide an anchor when your mind is otherwise unmoored from a loss.
I clicked on this video precisely because of the title, but I wasn't ready.. as soon as you spoke M.S. Zurmay's story and said what sounded like such a heart-felt "I am so sorry" I was gone, in tears. We lost my father May of '22 to lung cancer, the final days of which are something I will never forget (wear your respirators, everyone!), but he loved making things - from working as a carpenter in theatres to (at the end of his career) hypobaric chambers and autoclaves for Premium Aerotek ("his" Airbus A350 fuselages are flying, right now) with 26 years as an air force medic in the middle and *so much* DIY and problem solving at home. He was 74 but as fit as someone in their 60s until a year before the end, and I miss his problem solving and creativity every day.
In the past 2 years I've lost both of my grandfathers. One was a landscape painter and the other was a woodworker. I owe a lot of my creativity to their work ethics and their guidance. Since they passed I have completely lost my creative spark. My desk became a shelf and I have just spent my time occupying myself with other things.
I inherited their respective tools and I had no where to store them, so I decided to watch your videos again and I had forgotten how you store your tools. I had a sudden need to build a cart that could store these new tools.
The bottom half to store hammers, drills, chisels and files and the top half for paints, pencils and brushes.
I still miss them dearly but this whole project has soothed me and mad me realise how much I have missed making.
Thank you Adam.
I can't express how close to home this video hit.... It is an incredible thing to not feel alone in it
I'm so sorry for that gentleman's loss. Personally, when I've experienced grief, sometimes I have to give myself permission to enjoy things again.
There's this weird period of feeling like I have to feel grief, and then I feel guilty about enjoyment. Silly as it may sound.
I think sometimes we have to create a permission structure for being able to enjoy things again.
Your comment hit me hard, lost my dad a week ago... 73, I'm 39 games of any type(Video, board, card, etc) were our life, every visit once a month it be games all day and night, we would never separate it was bliss. Now when I look at a game especially OUR games its hard and a trigger. But games is where I always found enjoyment... or where to relax, unwind, de stress etc. How can I play one now and find enjoyment? PlayStation is what we mostly play... my birthday is now next week, but before it happened he bought me my gift when it came out on Feb 29th Final Fantasy Rebirth, he originally bought this game back in 1998 when I was 12 or so, this game is a remake 27 years later... he always watched me play these games and we experienced them together, the scores of music in this game then and now are VERY emotional... its hard to even start it up but I'm trying because I know he would want me to enjoy it... but its so hard raw and emotional, I don't know what to think anymore
My mother passed just this sunday due to a mix of lung cancer and covid+pneumonia, so the timing of this video is eerie to me on several levels. Definitely gonna save this to watch later.
It's a tricky thing to talk about...🙏 RIP as always Grant... That's why it's emotional for Adam.😢
Thank you for being a genuine human being. We all struggle with these very human experiences, but it's too easy to slip into a state dealing with other's pain (and other uncomfortable emotions) which masks how we truly feel. I appreciate your effort here to be real with the experience of grief.
Thank you so so much for making this video. Your Ram Dass story hit me unexpectedly. In 2022, I was in Europe for a friend's wedding, and my mother passed unexpectedly while I was gone. My dad chose not to tell me until I was back, feeling that it would be harder on me being on the other side of the planet and unable to do anything. Your aphorism about Ram Dass brought me right back to my own dad picking me up at the air port. The jam part resonated as well. I am nought but a humble action figure reviewer, but in the weeks following my mom's passing that work for me through. Having to maintain that certain upbeat patter helped me feel more upbeat, and editing video and making sense of my messy footage helped me make sense of my messy feelings. This video you made was very cathartic for me, and I am sure many others. Again, thank you!
My loss that affected my work was a divorce. I owed a patron a commission, a porcelain doll I was making, but as I tried to work, my hands would shake and I couldn’t create the small detail I needed. It took time to get back into a more stable mind frame so I could work. My patron was lively and understanding and I finished the piece for her.
There's an old saying "from your mind and out your hands". Then, my perspective, get rid of what you made. Several years ago, I started to lose my husband of 50 yrs to vascular dementia. I was devastated by the diagnosis. Couldn't do anything but rail against the universe. I then remembered that adage & made a gift. When I gave it away it was as if I gave away my grief. If I made something & kept it it would be reminder of that terrible time.
It’s not the same as losing someone to death, I absolutely acknowledge that, but I was a professional pianist. When the person I was deeply in love with decided he didn’t want me anymore, I stopped playing. I haven’t touched a keyboard since, nor do I have the will to. He took the music away. I don’t know how to get it back.
Fellow musician here. I cannot imagine the heartbreak you must have experienced. Sometimes, it's a matter of pushing through the resistance and rebuilding momentum. Other times, it is a sign to seek something else. I infer from your writing that you do miss playing piano, so I hope you find a way to reconnect with that side of yourself.
As a father of an aspiring amateur musician I cannot presume to tell you how or what to do but I can only point to the joy and sense of calm my son derives from his music. I would hate to see him lose that by tying it so utterly to a loss like that. Perhaps it’s time to draw some solace from the idea that grief is having so much love that you cannot share with the person for whom you grieve. Perhaps it’s time to unwind the shackles of that grief and let it transform back into something of love for yourself instead.
However or whenever you get there, please accept a virtual hug for the journey back.. x
I am not a musician but a fan of one who went through that. And I can tell you that, to me, Phil Collins made his best stuff putting his heart and soul into his music after his divorce.
Just a thought from a random stranger..
You fell in love with your music before you fell in love with him,
it kept you company before you ever knew they exsisted,
music is just emotion with a different voice .. let it out, let it speak for you when you can't find the words. Grief can leave you numb and lost
But one day. When you least expect it you will find yourself seated infront of your instrument and you will start to play, it may feel raw,there may be tears but the music will still be there when you need it. (I'm divorced and I never saw it coming, it truely broke me.. just a few weeks ago my dad passed away, Ive felt both types of loss,both hit hard if you can, seek solice and comfort in your creativity, wishing you all the best. )
Something that has helped me is going back to something that made me want to pick up the hobby/talent in the first place, and trying to learn how to create for the sake of it and finding joy in exploring and learning and improving. ☺
My sincere sympathies to mszirmay. I can't imagine the pain. Hugs to you and your family while you find your new normal.
It has been a rough patch, the past 6 months. I've lost friends and contacts, and with them went my passion. I'm in my 2nd year of BA in Industrial Design, I don't know where my life is going anymore. I wish to want to do something but I don't, I lost the keys to my self identity. Everyone say it'll come back and I can't wait till something does
God bless this shining example of science and culture, intelligence and wisdom, passion and humility. This is every kind of "love of life" the world needs more of.
I hope the meeting in Vancouver comes with a pleasant tale of recovery.
There is no right way to deal with such a loss. I would say to the person, your creativity will return, at the moment - all the things you do are 'the first ......... since she passed' and that's really hard.
However, you are creative by your nature and that will help you when the time is right. Start by just doing something. Anything. As long as it is distracting. Even - as Adam said - sweeping up, rearranging a bookshelf or putting the bins out. Talk to her about what you are doing, as you do it. Ask her what she would be telling you to do.
Keep a notepad and pen on you.
At some point, you will begin to get ideas of things to create - write them down as they come. When you get the urge to create something, give it a go. It might not be perfect, but that will jump-start you back into the making mindset. You might not get going straight away, but you will eventually. Once you do, it will be time to make a project to honour her memory, a project to be proud of and one which both of you would like.
In the times to come, look back at the notepad and you will be inspired by the progress you made through some of the toughest times of your life.
It's ok to not be ok. Men can & do cry - that's healthy. Asking for help is a good thing, accepting help is equally important.
I've been through this myself - I can tell you it will be hard, there will be highs and lows, but you WILL get through. The loss won't leave you, but the pain will get less. It doesn't mean you 'get over it', it means you are surviving.
Good luck. Talk to friends. Be loved.
🤗
💚🐇🐴💚
Very well said
It gets so mucher harder as we age and our inspirations pass from this life 😢
My father passed away in November just weeks before I was to graduate from carpentry school. I had just gone through having COVID for the first time less than a month before so I'd already missed enough school and work and my dog was attacked about a month before that and that required figuring out how to get him to appointments in between school and work. Those last few months wrecked me and I felt like I barely graduated, but my teacher was so supportive and assured me I showed who I was as a carpenter.
But I didn't want to make or build or do anything when I graduated. I grieved for about 2 months until one day I said, "this is the moment" and I started my own little art channel (here and on Instagram) and started filming little parts of my projects every day. And side quests for small projects in between the big projects. And it feels really good. And on my Dad's birthday about a week ago, I spent the day listening to his music on vinyl (Harry Belafonte, Simon & Garfunkel, etc...) and it felt great to just work with my hands and think about my dad who showed us how to do so many things. ❤
You're a beautiful soul Adam - I'm grateful for the many, many small examples we see, but especially for the one at the end of this vid.
Adam you ROCK brother
Adam. you are such a lovely person. Having watched you since i was like 12, I never cease to be impressed with your approach to life. It's this unexplainable unyielding goodness about whatever you are doing. There are certain people that the internet holds up for that. Steve Irwin, Bob Ross, Marie Kondo. I would place you firmly on that echelon of people. In the pantheons of history, I really hope you're remembered in the same vein as those others, because you deserve to be. Thank you for being you.
Totally feel this Adam. Lost my friend and bandmate last year, and finally at a place where I can finish our last album album together. Working through our ideas as if he were still here has been incredibly cathartic and helping me process grief.
I'm struggling extremely hard with this right now. I've been a creative most of my life and since the beginning of the year a lot of bad things have happened; my relationship with my fiancee ended, I had to put my cat of 20 years down, and I had a falling out with two of my oldest and best friends.
It has completely killed any and all creative drive I've had. In the past when things are going bad, I've always been able to find creativity as a refuge but this time, it's not. I sit down to write, or draw, or design, and nothing comes out. It doesn't feel like there is a block; it feels like it's not there at all.
I'm in therapy which is helping, but I think I need to give it some more time and hopefully I can get out of my own head and back into the right mindset to create things again.
Thank you for this.
That’s bad o lost my dog of 12 years die after I went to check on him back in September 2nd of 2023 then my 8 year old cat had to be put down due to cancer that came out of thin air she died on the 20th of January I wasn’t even able to be there to see her as I was helping a family member move
As a fellow creative, I hope you find the inspiration you need! It’s a hard thing to to recover from once you realize the separation is there. You got this. ✊
I can relate to this, in the last 4 or so years I've had relationships and friendships end on really rocky terms and it inevitably causes severe artists block every time. Most recently I was welcomed into a group I thought I could call friends after a few years of being pretty solitary, which boosted my motivation to create immensely. But even before that I got a slight vibe the leader had an unexplained dislike for me that actually became more and more apparent over time with them berating me on multiple occasions for minor things that really did not deserve it, with no remorse like they were simply taking out some undisclosed frustration on me.
It caused a months long art block, and I still feel frustration about it because in letting them affect my desire to create I feel like I let them "win." On the positive side I'm finally trying to get back into just creating for myself and the joy of learning, and creating something new!
Wow I’m crying. I have never accomplished anything but please put your pain into your work. We feel your emotion in your work. Please help others overcome what you have been through.
What I really like is that, when you want to say something, you suddenly stop - sometimes even after a half spoken first word - take a moment to think and therefore create a silence and then continue with your argument! That testifies to the deeper meaning you want to give your words. That short silence is strong and even illuminating, especially when it comes to such highly charged topics. I know why I like listening to you and this actually confirms that. You're a fine fellow, Mr. Savage.
I lost my father to cancer just 5 months ago. Devastating loss and i can totally relate to this topic.
Sorry for your loss Sir…10 years ago I had a car accident that devastated my life in all aspects .
The grief and guild from tragedy can be so destructive at so many levels. Don’t let it smother that creativity. You owe it to yourself and others around you no matter what that tragedy is.
Can’t play with my kids the conventional way. All those years I was lost, managed to work for a little bit. My creativity was busting at it seams in a non conventional way without an outlet until I discovered 3D printing and 3D modelling. I learned all that, reinvented myself and hopefully being relevant in a professional way and to transcend that into being a better parent by having found something bringing me joy back into my personal self.
It’s so hard to be the best person you can be when you don’t have that personal outlet.
I wrapped up an enlistment in the Marine Corps just before I turned 23, Aug 2005; after 3 tours in Iraq as an infantryman. When I went to college that fall one of the typical Freshman assignments was to write everything we know out, there were 23 Names on mine KIA I knew personally.
In regards to making again: doing something that brings you joy even when you don’t have full capacity to enjoy them is a good way to bring a little light into your dark time. When it’s darkest a pinhole is enough. Keep making, it’ll help you make it.
Pain is one proof you’re human, don’t let a data point define you; get creative, improvise adapt and overcome. One day you’re gonna wake up and that deafening dissonance will seem like music.
If we’re all stardust then I suppose we’re expanding at the same rate as the universe, how much sadness will you need, don’t feed it.
Unless you get it by the tail…now this next parts tricky, feed that tail to your self doubt, and then the same but the other way.
Once they’re up to speed start feeding in the stuff you can’t or wont use and let er ‘rip.
That’s how I understand what I call my minds dumpster fire, everything burns in a dumpster fire and the difference between a dumpster fire and a rocket is intent, design, materials and fuel.
Now that I think about it a dumpster fire a terrible rocket design, like that Tesla guys truck.
I don’t know how to speed run grief, but if if grief is new to you, I say welcome, get comfortable and go from there. The only way to speed run it is slowly. Might as well figure out how to enjoy the misery.
Grief is a chore. So is thinking about it. Choose to be happy. Be your best, that would be adequate for me.
I absolutely cannot be the only one for which this video means so much to me…. Thanks Adam.. :)
First, I'm very sorry for that man's loss. A terrible tragedy and it's ok to NOT feel create or on top of things after a loss like that. Grief does that, and that's ok.
As a professional creative, your mental health state ABSOLUTELY impacts your ability to be or feel "creative." Depression in general completely zaps your energy... ALL of it. "Creative energy" is talent built on top of that base energy... So if you don't have that base to start from, you're not going to be and to force yourself to be creative. You've got to start with the basics. I've called smaller bouts of this, "creative constipation"... And those have happened more frequently as I've aged I've found.
You'll find it. But allow yourself to grieve and set your expectations lower for yourself to start. You will find it again.
First Jon Stewart's video about his dog and now this. I didn't expect to cry today.
when my dad died my job offered to give me a week off, but i chose to come in the next day. it might have been strange for them, but to me, it was therapeutic.
The head scratch at 7:13 hit me to my core. Studied writing for film in college and lost my mom around Christmas my sophomore year and it couldn't not decimate some part of my desire to create. That was 10 years ago, doing much better now, but those head scratch pause moments where you're fighting some sort of wave coming back at you are something only people with loss know.
It's interesting how different grief can be from one case to the next. My father and I used to work on woodworking projects together. We would discuss approaches, artistic directions, even what tools to use. When he died, we had been discussing a project and I was sure I wouldn't be able to touch it again. Until I did. And then I couldn't stop. I finished like a man obsessed, and it was very cathartic to have that outlet. It helped. But it doesn't always work that way. My wife passed two years ago. We also talked frequently about whatever the current art project was, and I had one project in particular we spent a lot of time discussing. I have tried multiple times to get back to that project, but I just can't seem to engage with it on pretty much any level. I still hold out hope I'll be able to get to it some day, but it was nearly the opposite outcome from my father's passing. It's odd how grief works in your head and heart. For anyone going through the process, just give yourself room, and let yourself be OK with whatever works best for you.
There is comfort to be found in the ordinary and the mundane. The fact that these familiar tasks carry on even when your world has shifted, even when doing them at first feels like an insult to your grief, can eventually be a source of stability. It won't "fix" you. But it can be a foundation to your new path.
I know that all sounds corny. But it is what happened for me and for others that I love.
Adam, this was fantastic.
We lost a dear friend a year ago to rapid-onset breast cancer.
Her husband had let her do a thousand things .. he never expected to outlive her.
But he did.
This video gives me some ideas of how we might help our friend Gary.
Thank you.
That moment when you can tell you went back over in your mind the specific, detailed grief associated with those projects and then for the briefest instant relived that grief was intensely powerful.
Life is change, we have to prepare for it and that doesn’t mean it has to be ok. It’s just a part of life. ❤
Adam with the for real for real deep dive. I doff my cap to you sir.
I lost my cat suddenly to cancer in December, it was really sudden and traumatizing for us. I'm not experienced with making and woodworking so it took me months to sand, oil and hang up some wood shelves for my office but the moment I put my cat's ashes on it i felt really satisfied. Those shelves and looking at his urn bring me joy, i like seeing what I built in his memory
I lost my first wife to ALS 10 years ago this December. If anything, my creativity was unleashed by this, and the realization that life is too short to wish you had done something you'd always wanted to do. I've built everything from Tiki bars to theater props to puppets. I've even learned to sew! I'm happily remarried to a wonderful woman to supports and encourages me in this, as I support her creative endeavors. I went through a period where I thought I would never find happiness again, and I was wrong about that.
Expressing your grief through art can be incredibly healing. Nobody wants to grieve, it's not a fun experience, but at some point it catches up to you and you have to go through it. Taking that grief head on and feeling all of those emotions is how you heal. Art can be a great way of processing those emotions and working through them. Making something that represents how you feel forces you to think about those emotions, contextualize them, and then express them. Don't do it with the mindset of making something someone else will like. Do it with the mindset of just making something that represents how you feel.
Thank you Adam. Grief is a beast...
I lost 3 close family members and all of my pets in the span of a year a while ago. It took me literally a year to get back into the mindset of wanting to do stuff again, it really did take that long for my brain to reset and get used to the new world I was personally living in. Loss and tragedy are powerful emotive events in our lives. But humans are resilient and we are able to deal with a lot more than we usually give ourselves credit for.
I lost my 2 closest friends (BFFs) within a year of each other about 5 years ago. It takes time to find yourself again. Realise that you aren’t the only person to go through this and talk to family and friends. Occupy yourself with things that interest you but don’t isolate yourself completely. You need to be amongst others and be part of the living world. My condolences to you and others that are going though this.
Dear Adam and others, i Think you hit the nail on the head, when you talked about starting the healing process. As someone who unfortunately have had to deal with a lot of death of both friends and family, since an early age, you are never really getting back to that almost innocent person you were before. Instead you need to learn how to live with this whole in you, and the first step is just get out the door. Do something. Not to forget or supress your grief, be sad if you need,
Hell be even mad if that is what you feel. But getting outside helps you to get new inputs, Breaking the circle of grief, maybe just only for like a couple of seconds, like getting the sun your face or seeing natur. Being creative or making is also a great way of focusing on something else, give your mind a break, maybe even feel a little hapiness when you have a new idea or finish a project.
I watched Mythbusters from jump and I enjoyed the bits now and then of the philosophical side of the crew. I knew I couldn't create like they did but I can write! This year, suddenly, I lost someone really important and I haven't worked on my WIP in months. This really helped me get some perspective that is very new to my way of thinking. Thank you so much for all you do! This was a really great video. 👏👏👏
I'm in the same boat, Lost my dog in late 2022 and then my Mother at the start of 2023 both were to cancer... I have been able to finish some projects I did in memory of them and abandoned others either because of time or to figure out my next move but hope to get back to the unfinished ones as soon as I can.
Change is the inevitable be it good or bad only you can decide. Your loss of your wife, my condolences, and your looking for focus are changes there are a number of phrases that come to mind...The long brown road starches before me...the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step...fall down 5 times...get up 6... To live...is change...as Master Shifu said, Yesterday is history...Tomorrow is a Mystery but Today is a Gift that is why we call it...The Present...
Grief and art or making is a wild ride. So much creativity can be taken from loss. think of the really good songs, the ones that get you, most are heartbreaking and yet beautiful. I make violins, have since I was a teenager. My mother was an artist (the widest scope of mixed media) she died suddenly right before I turned thirty. I have and still use things from her studio on a daily basis and love the connection. It’s been nearly fifteen years and I still get a chuckle out of using one particular antique hammer because the head likes to fall off. Every time it does I say, “damn it Marge” and start to laugh. Her glass plate for making prints is now the flat plate in the shop, it’s made countless rib structures for violins, violas and cellos. Life lives on and art follows. The loss is always there, but you learn to maybe do something different and meaningful, sometimes meaningful only to yourself and that is what someone might find their own meaning in.
I see my loss directly reflected in my Drawings and Paintings, it´s another part of your story and what makes you, YOU.
There is nothing more tragic than losing a loved one. I. Myself, lost three loved ones between August of 2017 and March 2019.
Always tell the ones you love you love them. Because tomorrow may be too late.
I apreciate the prompt title of this video, its what brought my attention. Your advice and story to the widower felt aplicable, altough I'm mourning over something else than death. Thank you.
Respect! That was very brother of you Mr. Savage
Adam that was some of the most touching advice I think could have possibly come from such a personal question. I truly hope the gentleman grieving the loss of his wife is able to get back into his shop and find joy in making again and at least some comfort in knowing he is not alone in his feelings.
When my studio had burn down, turning everything into ashes, I felt that part of my soul had died but yet I am alive to go on.
Sorry about this😢
I'm sorry for your loss. When I lost my mother, I found that starting a new project, fully aware I might toss it because I wasn't in my right frame of mind helped a lot.
My first two builds after my father died were perhaps the most well designed and put-together pieces of furniture I have ever made. To say so myself, the designs were extremely creative and spontaneous. The materials used were eclectic; remnants from my father's older projects, and the tools I used were also my fathers. As I worked I would think, "How would dad do this? What would he do next? Which tool? Since his second favourite saying, just behind "Put it back where you found it, that way you'll know where it is next time" was "use the right tool for the right job".
Every time I sorted through and found a specific tool another memory would pop into my head. Definitely helped me grieve.
Such a good share about loss and dealing with it and the feelings that you go through. Also the way you tell the story of Ram Dass. Thanks
When it comes to selling something you poured everything into, I have a very different way of seeing it. Yes, it can be hard to release it, but the object doesn't feel like it belongs with me. Usually, I feel like it's the obligation of the maker to give that object a life outside of you and for it to exist in the world. Whether it be on someone's wall, battern and beaten, then wind up in someone's attic, it's important to me that it has an existence. The biggest reason I feel this is I grew up in a farming town. Most of what you saw of art are things like handmade furniture, paintings, and tools. When you come across them and see that name etched into it of who made it, there is no feeling that is better than seeing those objects and holding them in your hands. Anything I make, I want someone to come across it decades later and just be in awe of it.
For me, I do not think about tomorrow, tomorrow will suck just as much as today did
I focus on where I want to be in 6 months. I tell myself that things will be better then
My wife of 25 years just passed away one month ago. So this video hits very close to home. I am heading out tomorrow with my two dogs and photography gear across the country in my mini van looking for some peace of mind..
I don't get to watch your videos but when I can you are always inspiring me to do the best I can. Thanks for the inspection!
Working through things is very good therapy. A big loss in life is a life changing event but how one deals with it is the way in which one can advance. Dedication to a cause or purpose or even remembrance can be a strength to use for the benefit of many.
I lost my dad a little over 3 years ago along with another serious family thing in the same year. I haven't worked on anything since. I really want to, but after having to help my mom out with finances, house upkeep, it just doesn't seem as important any more. I had just bought materials to start a new project and they've been sitting around ever since. Watching these videos and some other channels does make me want to start something again. I also have all his (and by extension his dad and grandpa's) tools, so that does make me feel close to him working around in their garage (where I grew up).
Thanks for sharing this. During lockdown, 4 years ago, I turned to what I know which was and continues to be knitting. It helped me grieve the sudden change and what my life used to be
I lost my boyfriend a year and a half ago, I haven't been working on any projects because I'm still sorting out his things.
I'm getting there but it's a slow process.
We love someone, we loose them, we miss them, but we still love them. It's hard but we can do it.
Adam, I appreciate the philosophy you share with us which allows us to examine the depth of feelings of our fellow makers, your emotional response, and how the interactions amongst all of us. Thank you and those who share their comments.
You are a professor of life my friend. Thank you for everything you do.
Yes sometimes it takes “baby steps “ to recharge the maker spirit “. Grief and loss are , for me, never deeply buried, but as time passes it mellows and it’s affect isn’t as traumatic but still will bring a quick tear.
Your awesome.
So much adoration and respect for you Adam. Been struggling as bit myself, and my face and faith immediately lifted when you used Ram Dass's words
One hundred percent our feeling about the art we make!
This is a great video. It was not my question but I have used my pain to leverage my creative success as well and it really does make life just a little bit better. Keep on making cool stuff yall
Thank you, Adam.
Hey man, you were a huge part of my childhood! Watched mythbusters all the time. It takes time, but it heals
Words of wisdom for sure, Mr. Savage. I'm sorry for that gentlemen loss and send him our condolences.
I was caregiver for my parents. I couldn't really do my art work and get called out of the flow frequently. I gave it up. I started knitting, at first just simple stuff from patterns. Then eventually designing what i wanted. I was getting back into my art when the pandemic hit and that door slammed shut again. Back to garter stitch shawls. Now i am cautiously getting the door open again but in a different way. It isn't the same anymore. It is different. It has to be because i am a different person.
This came at the perfect time. Thank you, Adam, for understanding. Thank you, Tested Team, for selecting this question and giving me this gift.
I actually building a Ghostbusters pack now and while I had it in my head to do for a while and the motivation is because of the new movie I do think that a big part of me working on it was because my grandmother passed recently. The week that I heard that she passed I bought and built a few Lego sets and it really did make me feel better. Since then I have been using my 3d printer to print out the parts and building out the pack. Again this was largely something I already wanted to do but I have felt the need to do more with my hands in the last few months since she passed.
Amazing words of comfort and wisdom Adam. You truly are an amazing individual. Greetings from England UK
Losing a loved one is always hard, and cancer is one of the suckiest ways to lose them. All my positive energies to everyone who's gone through that or who will. *hugs*
On a lighter note, the Ram Dass story reminds me of one my aunt told me that I always just love to share:
She went to one of his talks in the early 70s with an infant in tow. At one point during the q&a/hangout at the end, the baby got fussy and in the way of these things, Ram Dass does his part to try and comfort the child but the kid was having NONE OF IT. Finally, he looks the baby square in the eye and says, "Don't you know how holy I am?" I do not recall whether that was helpful, but I love that sense of humor about the whole thing.
The doing, the making, the working with the material… it is soothing, healing, I suppose.
My motto about yard work is this, and it relates in this way… I love doing yard work. I hate HAVING to do yard work.
When it’s a chore, the lawn is too overgrown for the HOA… it’s not fun..
But, then there is this… it’s a warm sunny Saturday morning and the birds are chirping. The fragrant flowers are blooming.
I am going to plant some flowers in the soil. Feeling the warm slightly damp soil. Pulling out the rocks and old roots from in the soil. That physical touch. The manipulation of the soil with my bare hands. Even scattering the rocks and pebbles into natural designs around the plants… it’s theraputic.
Not unlike turning clay pottery on a wheel. Or feeling the smoothness of a wood working project as you’re sanding it.
Maybe trauma and pain are made slightly less uncomfortable by just working with your hands, experiencing the sensations… creating something from something random and maybe even chaotic.
My dad suddenly died on December 19. 2023, he was 59. It is very hard to comprehend he is no longer with us. I also found when I do something with my hands it’s much more easier to go through the day. I basically live day by day. I have no future plans just to push through the following day.
A lot of wisdom - and compassion - here. Thanks for speaking to these hard things, and about engaging creativity as a means of sitting with where we are.
Thanks Adam! I really appreciate your answer to the second question!
I don't come to this channel everyday but end up here quite often. /this special video is the reason I do come to this channel. Adam is a truly special person and I think in many ways people who work with their hands but still keep close connection with people too tend to be deeply empathetic. maybe because creating things is a tactile metaphor for life itself and, of course, birth.
The deepest video from you, thank you!
Getting some diversion from a loss is important. Many people feel like it is disloyal to the person who has passed. It is not. It is vital to learn to function with the loss and let it reach it’s own level in our heart instead of marinating in it in our thinking.
A beautiful story, and I'm so sorry to your viewer's loss and I hope the memories he has will bring him comfort.
So much hurt and so much love in this video and these comments ❤❤❤
Ram Dass. Now that's a trip down memory lane. I haven't heard that name in decades. I remember Be Here Now from when I read it in high school. It seemed like he was a very friendly soul, and you confirmed that.
Beautiful answer.
Great video with an awesome Q&A but as you explain this, my eye is caught and drawn to the way your workspace is everything meticulously put out an organized clean and just wow😮