First, thanks for the info. The reason why kids with ADD/ADHD like looking at screens so much is that it's soothing, it's comforting. It's a form of self-medicating, just like drinking soda. I still agree that kids need to be taught how to deal with people... however, for some of us that's easier said than done. I wish information like this and ADDitude had been around when I was diagnosed. Would've saved me SO much frustration etc.
I took my son to the store with his 3 siblings when he was 9. I couldn’t find him near me. I scanned the area all around me and then spotted him 20 feet away sitting on the edge of the meat cooler, reading away. He brings books to the store! But this is a good idea.
What you said about the tablets at supermarkets and for trips is so on point. I did this already instinctually. I remember a few times I gave my son my phone when we were at the store when he was really small like 2-3 years old. And then I started to feel bad about it. So since then I stopped doing it because I knew he had to learn how to sit quietly and to tolerate doing boring things. Same with driving. I remember as a kid we did long trips to Arizona from CA to visit family, 8-10 hour drives and we didn’t have tablets, phones or even car tvs at the time. Eventually I got a game boy color when I was 8 but I remember taking breaks and also I loved looking outside, reading signs, looking at the desert, the plants, the hills, the mesas, and using my imagination. So I decided my kids would get used to that as well. My oldest is 6 years old and he doesn’t have a tablet (he used to have one but he actually broke it out of anger) but it was a sign that he wasn’t emotionally mature for one and so it’s been almost 2 years with no tablet. For him it’s highly addictive so I’m so glad I listened to my instincts and we’ve been tablet free and screen free since.
The example of the grocery store and others thinking cringe thoughts.. My grandson response would be “nobody cares but you” Yes perspective taking is a work in progress
My 9 year old gets bored at the store . . . I will find him facing shelves. . . He’s adhd. . . When it’s time to go, he’ll ask if he can finish a part he’s working on . . . The mangers love him.
My supermarket conversation is: "You are 5-years-old you should be wearing shoes and not pooping your pants" ... ... ... "But the toilet is SO boring..." It didn't help that our neighbors and best friends during potty training were also have major toilet issues due to autism. He is also always obsessively telling stories about the naughtiest person in his class.
We have the 30 minute car ride rule for screens - it’s slipped a bit, though, as both kids have started listening to their own music, but we’ll be expanding it to include music as well.
It’s not a limit on music, rather a limit on using screens/headphones for trips less than 30 minutes, since the car is one of the places where it’s easier to get the kids talking about things. When they have headphones on, they don’t interact with anyone. For longer rides this is ok, since they tend to switch things up but for shorter rides, we’re trying to encourage more interaction. They’re able to cast music to the radio, so it’s also a chance for them to share their music
👍👍👍this is very helpful. this is exactly what i’ve trying to my husband about it. but, so many times, my husband just gives in and let our son play with his iphone🙁i will definitely share this youtube with my husband 🙂
This was so helpful. I'm actually gojbg to watch this again and again..my daughter al says tells me she bored can she play a game on the tablet..I suggest things and everything to her is boring and she doesn't wanna do it. Grocery shopping is really hard for her as well and usually we go in the afternoon so she can play game on tablet so I'm going to watch that part again where you talked about grocery shopping so I can take notes on it. That was very good and helpful
Very helpful information!!! I would appreciate any additional strategies on teaching time understanding. Why would a digital watch not be used as compared to an analog?
On the issue of time: are watches helpful in this? I always want my child to wear a watch to help with time awareness, but my child often forgets to put it on. Should I be pushing this or would it not help anyway. (My two are 10 and 14 - both ADHD)
Analog watches yes, digital watches no. A lot of kids don't like wearing watches but if you find ones that they are motivated to wear and they are analog it can't hurt.
@@ADHDDude I'm curious, what is the significance of analog vs digital? I use a Garmin Vivofit Jr with my son as I can set alarms to remind him to take his medications.
Hi Adhd dude - my son with Adhd cannot seem anything that he finds too interesting - except he wants games and videos but I don’t really let him game until he’s like 6 and then only 30 mins per weekend or so - other than that hard to find things that truly have his attention - toys etc not interesting for him. Only interaction - do you have any tips of typical toys and kiddos woth Adhd find appealing - I can’t always be his “play buddy” and would be great if he every now and then could keep himself busy - tried teaching him How to play with his toys etc but somehow doesn’t really happen / help still.
My guess is that what you're describing is a form of learned helplessness. He has learned that if he acts bored either you will entertain him or he'll "prove" in his mind that he doesn't like anything but screens. He can play by himself, he's learned that he doesn't have to do so. That being said, some kids with ADHD lack imagination so if he has legos if you got one of the guide books that shows him how to build something simple that would help. You have to not accommodate his learned helplessness and he'll eventually "get it". He can keep himself busy, he just prefers to be entertained.
You said depending on age, what age is recommended? We have a almost 2 and almost 5 year old boys and give them screens in the car/restaurants/etc. Should we stop at this age and let them cry ?
Can anyone offer any suggestions how to handle the situations where my son will say ‘I don’t care what people think / what is expected’ Sometime he will seem to understand and really makes an effort, but other times he acts like he couldn’t care less and will refuse. He is 10 and has ASD and ADHD .
I cover this in the webinars in the membership site. You can also view the Social Skills playlist here at the channel. I also suggest watching my videos about not responding to "noise".
First, thanks for the info. The reason why kids with ADD/ADHD like looking at screens so much is that it's soothing, it's comforting. It's a form of self-medicating, just like drinking soda. I still agree that kids need to be taught how to deal with people... however, for some of us that's easier said than done.
I wish information like this and ADDitude had been around when I was diagnosed. Would've saved me SO much frustration etc.
I took my son to the store with his 3 siblings when he was 9. I couldn’t find him near me. I scanned the area all around me and then spotted him 20 feet away sitting on the edge of the meat cooler, reading away. He brings books to the store! But this is a good idea.
:)
What you said about the tablets at supermarkets and for trips is so on point. I did this already instinctually. I remember a few times I gave my son my phone when we were at the store when he was really small like 2-3 years old. And then I started to feel bad about it. So since then I stopped doing it because I knew he had to learn how to sit quietly and to tolerate doing boring things. Same with driving. I remember as a kid we did long trips to Arizona from CA to visit family, 8-10 hour drives and we didn’t have tablets, phones or even car tvs at the time. Eventually I got a game boy color when I was 8 but I remember taking breaks and also I loved looking outside, reading signs, looking at the desert, the plants, the hills, the mesas, and using my imagination. So I decided my kids would get used to that as well. My oldest is 6 years old and he doesn’t have a tablet (he used to have one but he actually broke it out of anger) but it was a sign that he wasn’t emotionally mature for one and so it’s been almost 2 years with no tablet. For him it’s highly addictive so I’m so glad I listened to my instincts and we’ve been tablet free and screen free since.
I love that you trusted your instincts 😁
The example of the grocery store and others thinking cringe thoughts.. My grandson response would be “nobody cares but you” Yes perspective taking is a work in progress
Yes, if you don't understand how you're coming across to others, you think everyone has the same thoughts as you.
My 9 year old gets bored at the store . . . I will find him facing shelves. . . He’s adhd. . . When it’s time to go, he’ll ask if he can finish a part he’s working on . . . The mangers love him.
That's great, I love that. :)
My 9yo daughter does the same thing! 😆
My supermarket conversation is:
"You are 5-years-old you should be wearing shoes and not pooping your pants"
... ... ...
"But the toilet is SO boring..."
It didn't help that our neighbors and best friends during potty training were also have major toilet issues due to autism. He is also always obsessively telling stories about the naughtiest person in his class.
We have the 30 minute car ride rule for screens - it’s slipped a bit, though, as both kids have started listening to their own music, but we’ll be expanding it to include music as well.
I don't think you need to put a limit on music, audiobooks work great in the car as well.
It’s not a limit on music, rather a limit on using screens/headphones for trips less than 30 minutes, since the car is one of the places where it’s easier to get the kids talking about things. When they have headphones on, they don’t interact with anyone. For longer rides this is ok, since they tend to switch things up but for shorter rides, we’re trying to encourage more interaction. They’re able to cast music to the radio, so it’s also a chance for them to share their music
👍👍👍this is very helpful. this is exactly what i’ve trying to my husband about it. but, so many times, my husband just gives in and let our son play with his iphone🙁i will definitely share this youtube with my husband 🙂
This was so helpful. I'm actually gojbg to watch this again and again..my daughter al says tells me she bored can she play a game on the tablet..I suggest things and everything to her is boring and she doesn't wanna do it. Grocery shopping is really hard for her as well and usually we go in the afternoon so she can play game on tablet so I'm going to watch that part again where you talked about grocery shopping so I can take notes on it. That was very good and helpful
Thanks so much for watching
Very helpful information!!! I would appreciate any additional strategies on teaching time understanding. Why would a digital watch not be used as compared to an analog?
Because you can't "see" the movement of time on a digital watch.
On the issue of time: are watches helpful in this? I always want my child to wear a watch to help with time awareness, but my child often forgets to put it on. Should I be pushing this or would it not help anyway. (My two are 10 and 14 - both ADHD)
Analog watches yes, digital watches no. A lot of kids don't like wearing watches but if you find ones that they are motivated to wear and they are analog it can't hurt.
@@ADHDDude I'm curious, what is the significance of analog vs digital? I use a Garmin Vivofit Jr with my son as I can set alarms to remind him to take his medications.
Hi Adhd dude - my son with Adhd cannot seem anything that he finds too interesting - except he wants games and videos but I don’t really let him game until he’s like 6 and then only 30 mins per weekend or so - other than that hard to find things that truly have his attention - toys etc not interesting for him. Only interaction - do you have any tips of typical toys and kiddos woth Adhd find appealing - I can’t always be his “play buddy” and would be great if he every now and then could keep himself busy - tried teaching him
How to play with his toys etc but somehow doesn’t really happen / help still.
My guess is that what you're describing is a form of learned helplessness. He has learned that if he acts bored either you will entertain him or he'll "prove" in his mind that he doesn't like anything but screens. He can play by himself, he's learned that he doesn't have to do so. That being said, some kids with ADHD lack imagination so if he has legos if you got one of the guide books that shows him how to build something simple that would help. You have to not accommodate his learned helplessness and he'll eventually "get it". He can keep himself busy, he just prefers to be entertained.
You said depending on age, what age is recommended? We have a almost 2 and almost 5 year old boys and give them screens in the car/restaurants/etc. Should we stop at this age and let them cry ?
I would ask you this-what did people do with 2 and 5 year olds before screen devices were invented?
Can anyone offer any suggestions how to handle the situations where my son will say ‘I don’t care what people think / what is expected’
Sometime he will seem to understand and really makes an effort, but other times he acts like he couldn’t care less and will refuse.
He is 10 and has ASD and ADHD .
I cover this in the webinars in the membership site. You can also view the Social Skills playlist here at the channel. I also suggest watching my videos about not responding to "noise".
I don’t have ADHD, but if I had to wait in a store for 90 minutes, I’d lose my damned mind. And im 59 years old.