Toxic Parenting and Teenagers || The MA Podcast
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- čas přidán 30. 06. 2024
- Toxic Parenting and Teenagers || The MA Podcast || Ep 17
Timecodes:
0:00 - Intro
0:40 - Teaching teenagers
1:25 - Story of a Hafiz e Quran
6:10 - Is Quran a punishment?
8:50 - Are parents really at fault?
9:32 - Toxic Parents
11:45 - Who is a Toxic Person?
13:25 - Parents invading privacy
16:45 - Woman's dominance in homes
19:20 - Children's way of making decisions
21:30 - Parenting of Married Children
27:30 - Categorizing children by Age
41:00 - Who is the boss?
41:38 - Being Over Critical
44:20 - Over possessive and Over controllable
48:20 - Message to Teenagers
51:15 - Empathy is a universal skill
54:07 - Can parents check the phone of their children?
57:25 - Can parents compare children?
1:03:02 - Can parents punish children?
1:05:10 - Islam provides equality
1:08:50 - Advice to All
1:14:25 - Outro - Zábava
My parents were really toxic and tbh it’s affects me now I have low self esteem and no confidence at all I couldn’t even communicate properly with anyone not even with my parents and they blame me but they still don’t understand
Same.
Get help of a good therapist dear...... To function properly n over come your emotional damage, may Allah makes it easy for you 🤲🏼
They will roti their old age. Just wait.
That's what makes us empath or maybe a codependent or ppl pleaser for our generation but girl stay alert get to know your attachment theory and pray for a good husband in future not for sociopath and self awareness is most amazing thing ✨ and trust Allah and keep Faith pain is temporary world is temporary don't expect peace in there lol but pray beshq
Same
Literally I'm unable to stop my tears while listening to this. I'm struggling with the trauma i got from my parents and I'm also mother of 2 kids and i want to become a better mother for them.
So beautiful sis and above all be best friend to ur kids .toxic parenting is so difficult
👑
May Allah ﷻ make things easy for you sister.
Same, I'm healing from traumas.
If your parents are toxic you won't trust anyone.
Yehi mere sath hua hai
True
@@rubbiazaman ptsd l also don't know what to do I got learned helplessness 🆘
@@TOMB0I_1020 what happened believe in Allah
@@rubbiazaman hm :(
I'm just at my breaking point. I'm so done with everything. No matter whatever I do its never enough. They are always scolding me and taunting me for everything I do. I can't even ask for my favourite food now. Its pathetic. I'm just done.
hows the situation now?
Same siso i can understand your situation...😔
R u any way better now?
u should lower your expectations with your parent
As Allah has mentioned in Quran that he is the only helper and no one else not even parents
U should avoid your parents t
There curses have no value Infront of Allah bcz u don't deserve that and its for little mistakes
Allah also tells to maintain a distance from your family cuz he knows some people r toxic by nature
I'm 18 and I'd say I suddenly like this Aunty Jee... She seems to know her stuff and what she's talking about.
Lots of respect
Aunty ka kiya name h?
@@aamna.muneeb Dr. Asia madni
Parents who are narcissist damage their kids to an imaginable level. Hyper critical parents need to get therapy.
Also the toxic shame it's hard to imagine
Emotional blackmailing 😣 and my father used to talk about zina when I was 5 and always when ever he talk about abt Islam. And we come to hear abt his affairs every other day.
Kindly do a session for evil and toxic words that parents use and say to their kids.
After watching this Maine y faisla kia hai k jo relationship mere parents ne mere sath nhi banaya jo mai chahti thi wo ab as a responsible teenager mai khud develope karne ki koshish karu ❤️ Allah bless you all for putting such type of efforts for youth ❤️❤️❤️
God bless you
Your thoughts and your perspective.. such a blessing ❤
Literally "Allah narm hai narmi ko pasand karta hai" should be printed 👌
Yes parents can be toxic. Mental abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and creating highly unhealthy environment at home is all toxic. Any parent telling their kids badly about the other partner or faults of other to gain sympathy from kids is toxic. But parents especially mothers do it. They talk negatively and badly about children’s father to children, which is highly toxic.
Exactly same story ،،😭😭😭
Do not generalise mothers, in my case it's the opposite, m so done with my toxic father n his abuse. M done.
I am now mentally abnormal just because of my mother she always ignores me. She always denied my importance.
Maine bht baar unhen khush kerne ki bht koshish ki lekin wo mjhse kabhi khush nahin huin, unho ne hamesha mjh main buraiyan nikali hain. Ab main ek depressed insaan ban chuki hun. Unho ne mjhe kabhi nahi smjha, hamesha mjh per tanz kiya.
Main ek maa k rishty ko bht miss kerti hun aur sochti hun kash meri maa bhi etni shafeeq hoti. Meri bhi apni maa se dosti hoti main bhi unse hassi mazak ker skti.....😢
Mere walid bht shafeeq aur bht mehrban hain, jo khobian Khuda ne ek maa main rkhi hain wo sari khobian mere walid main hain. Mere walid hamary her dukh sukh k sathi hain, koi bhi muskil hamary qareeb nahi aane dety.❤
@@hassaanrizvi I got an A at exams and my mother said to me ‘tum ne koi tee mara hain’?
Bruhhh just lower your expectations with your parents
Every child deserve good parents but not every parent deserve child
Child abuse is a major problem in Pakistan but government doesn't do anything for children. It is not mandatory that every mother and father is like angel.
💯
100%
True
So true
No bilkul Galt Soch hai apki first of all main apka sath agree toh Kar rahi Hun ke yh social problem hai Pakistan ki or main bhi is problem SE suffer Kar rahi Hun but iska har GIZ yh matlb Nahi ke hum apni government SE koi demand karain ap Kia chahti hain than per bhi Europe wala haal hojaya bacha Ka Jake apna parents KO jailon main dalwain or phir muqafat unka sath bhi ho isbat Ka socha mtlb yho hai ke family system barbad hona Hume khud ki islah Karni Chahiye apni family ki
This light heart conversation hit me so hard. It gives me reality checks. My son is my carbon copy and I repeat all same mistakes which i feel victimize. I try to discipline him at very tender age without emotional connection. May Allah give you all so much ajar. Your words open my thoughts.
You guys are gems. JazakAllah khair. We need to exercise authority but sometimes show humanity as well.
One of the greatest gifts of all time is waking up alive, healthy & strong. Alhumdulillah!
Can't thank HIM enough... Glory be to Him...
Shukr Alhumdulillah for the day & night. It is the measur of Allah SWT. We can breathe, bear patience, keep our relationship with Allah SWT.
Alhumdulillah for the day & night. It is the measure of Allah SWT. Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim.
Tbh My mother is so toxic, because of her I am carrying mental and emotional trauma. I feel too much pain. I am an adult above 25 ..she pressurizes me to get married. None of my sibling was treated like this....I strongly wonder that she is not my real mother....💔
But still i take pledge that my kids will never experience this because I know they dont deserve this❤
Same is here
Please do a session on forced marriages in our society
InshAllah
@@linguafranca7834 p0
Does anyone forcing you in marriage?
surah Nisa Ayat..
Same here
When parents become rigid then their relationship with children is spoiled and its create more issues...every child intellectual level is different. Sometimes parents impose their own wishes on children without knowing their capacity.
So much Indian vibes your comment is radiating.
This podcast is one of a kind, on point and much needed
JazakAllah Khair
What an eye-opening, thoughtful discussion it was.
Ali Bhai and all, Jazak Allah. May Allah give you all the best rewards and hidayat to all of us to follow. Ameen
The lady seems quite confident n dominant among them.
She's vocal.
I think she is a teacher!
Jazak Allahu khairan kaseera
ماشاء الله لا قوة إلا بالله
بارك الله في علمك و عملك
تقبل الله منا ومنكم صالح الأعمال وكل عام وانتم بخير
You trust in His planning, better than your own. You trust that He will guide you towards what is best, again and again. What is doubt? What is pain? What is fear? Don’t worry, Allah is near.
Beashak ،☝️
✨🌼
Most needed section. Thanks to all the team.
Jazakallahukhayr for this much needed content. Especially in our Indo-Pak society. I just hope and pray this reaches the hearts of those that need to hear it.
In Bahrain they Allow the kids to learn and play games related to the chapter they learned.....we need to develop more techniques to help ourselves to help children love Quran
Much needed show. Amazing topic. JazakALLAH Khair.
Such topics need to be discussed more frequently. These are serious teen issues.
Ma sha Allah , I am feeling so blessed that I have come across this conversation.literally every one has a beautiful approach.
Ma sha Allah the ustada is very well. Qualified and her talk is worth listening.
It's one of the most precious podcasts ever!
This was such a nice podcast, hope i'll see more of these in the future
MashaAllah beautiful bayan...JazakAllah khairan kaseera ❤
Let the parents understand that their exists a problem between them and their children. Most of the parents doesn't acknowledge this and thus the tussle goes on...
100 %
My father died a year ago and I have done so wrong to him, he died unconscious and in bad brain condition so me maafi nhi maang sakki so it's so heartbreaking for me but wallahi whenever I cry for him in Salah or anywhere he comes in dreams and comforts me. He stills love me even after dying 😢
My dear its Allah who gives u comfort with appearance of him in your dreams ... and its ok dear we are humans ❤ Touba ka darwaza khulla hy and the comfort is answer that you are forgiven InshaAllah Allah bless u with peace and happiness
And jin ko sign ni mila unka kya😢
Literally crying after listening this. Thank you for this podcast.
After watching this video I realized this video is for my parents more than me
Same bro
MashaAllah such wise words and another amazing podcast. Learnt so much and the best part is all that was said is doable and practical.
Finally...I was waiting for this topic, Thanks Ali Sir
Very good discussion on parenting! Humble request
If one can wait till the first person finishes his talk and express his thoughts.
I see you guys cutting each other in between.
This lecture I need in my life
Love your capacity to cover this extremely important topic story of every other house. Can't get enough. When second part is coming
Subhaan Allah what a discussion by chosen ones , jazakillah ekhair kaseera
I love my parents even though they're pretty toxic, my sister too, makes me feel So hopeless at times, always criticizes me ... And I really don't wanna be like them, I wanna educate myself and be a better parent because I read in my books ke Bache Allah ki taraf se parents ke Liye imanat Hain and as a Muslim hummae imanat ma khayanat nhi krni chahiye.
I am 28 and my mother is still toxic. And i dont know how to deal with her.
And by invading privacy i know what it means. As she tries to interfere in my married life. As I believe since im married my mother should be encouraging in spending my life happily instead she picks everything that my husband or in laws do. She constantly makes me feel stressed and depressed. And i try to avoid talking to her as it keeps me calm. But she complains that we dont pay attention towards her.
I can feel your pain dear. I feel so proud to read your comments keh aaj bhi esi oratyen hain ju apni mother ku apni married life m dakhal Nahi dene deti...jab keh 90% oraton ki mothers apni betion ki zindagion m bilawaja ki dakhal andazi karti hain or finally talaq dalwa laite hain...Ap bht acha karti hain keh apni mother ku apni married life s dor rakhte hain...respect her and love her...but don't let her ruin your married life.
Do what i have seen people do. Daughters put their husband and children first, the way Allah commanded them to do. Then leave the responsibility of parents to the son in their old age, the way Allah commanded sons to do. That will teach them a less, because these days sons do not look after parents either. Their old age will be a misery.
@@rimsha_liaqat worse happens than that, nikah have been broken by parents that arranged it, and worst still millions of women have been divorced after years of marriage because of their own mothers.
@Aayat Siddiqui thanks to my father
this is so true
i feel you
because i am going through same word by word
😢
Excellent Topic .. You have chosen Sir!🌟🌟⭐
Jazakallah for a very informative session!May Allah bless you for your efforts ameen
Alhamdolillah, bahut hi fruitful results ..jazakum Allah ho khairan kaseerah 💞
Brilliant session. Learned a lot from it. Gave me food for thought to do some self analysis as a parent. I'll sure be following the advice and knowledge shared here. Jazakullahu Khairan Khateera to all speakers.
Although I am not married yet still these podcasts are si informative MaashaAllah💟💟 JazakAllah khair. Ameen.
I really liked the parenting discussions in your channel!
Jazakallah khair brothers & sister .In your talk so many things to learn
Extremely beneficial session! May Allah bless you all abundantly.
Apart from teenage,i being in my adult-hood suffers from all of the above; being discussed in the session yet i have a strong connection with Allah talah ,who has rewarded me with the independency and other bold initiatives.Yet it made me cry,scream a lot regarding what I had suffered from.As I always try to bear more than that,even accepting what I couldn't but that actually doesn't makes you valuable what I thought.
Jazakallahu khairan kaseera.. U guys r doing a really great job.. got to learn alot frm the podcast May Allah help us learn & accept it according to his pleasure
Excellent topic I can listen all day to discussion.You all are doing excellent work May Allah swt give all you reward .Waiting for more new topics
Excellent episode. Learnt a lot. And up till 1:00:00 i was feeling that my parents never did those things but this point had them in the circle too. But it wasn't too much. But always there was comparison at some point and at some stage.
I’m posting for all who are young , this is a wonderful video . I’m almost 50 now I grew up with narcissistic parents and very much overpowered mother . I have faced insult at every step from them infront of others but I have always asked Allah for help I have always and will try to keep silent Infront of them . My father is no more and my mother still manipulative but now I recognize and just keep quiet for the sake of Allah who has always helped me . I am a successful educated professional woman today and I give the same empowered upbringing to my kids . Even my kids realize how my parents are and we’re always wrong but I respect them still just for the love of Allah and he has given me more than anyone like myself could have achieved . So please trust in Allah and stay obedient don’t give any flaw from your side leave rest on Allah .
Assalamu alaikum. Your story seems to be just like mine. And every day I pray and train myself to be a better mother to my daughter.
Thanks a lot for discussing on such an important issue.. As a mother of a 4 years old kid, I learnt so much from you guys.. JazakAllah..
Such a beautiful discussion. Jazakumullah khayr
*صبر، شکر، ذکر اور فکر چاروں بہت بڑا درجہ رکھتے ہیں۔ صبر سے مصائب و مشکلات ٹل جاتے ہیں ، شکر سے نعمتوں میں اضافہ ہوتا ھے، ذکر سے درجات بلند ہوتے ہیں، اور فکر سے انسان گناہوں سے رک جاتا ہے*
💞💞
Subhan Allah, really helpful and informative.
Jazakallahu khair kaseeran to everyone present in the discussion. I had all the points in my mind, i did pondering (gaur fikar) over these issues by observing the conflicts n problems of people which are so very common, n by the help of this discussion got a high resolution clarity on everything talked about. I think the emergence of YC has a greater objective, goal in the coming future. I firmly believe that YC is the turning point in Islamic communities in the sub continent.
May Allah bless all of you and us and grant all of us guidance, righteousness, amd steadfastness in our deen. ❤️❤️ Respect from India
Plz a session on how to select a life partner, in present time, there are lots of barriers exist in early or late marriage . There are lots of people who are willing to marrie but non wants to marrie them becoz of in so called criteria like good looks, qualification, job, etc , they don't fit.
Zaberdast eye opening discussion v right talks JAZAKALLAH KHAIR.
As a young mom - how do we learn parenting since everything is changing around us so rapidly.. what my mom did will not work on my kids..
@52:00 empathy - wow. I literally got the answer of training in one word. My mom says the same thing to deal with people.. i guess i need to empathize with the kids
Judge situations between you and your mother to understand better of what to do and what not to do. Do activities to teach them new things.
111ل11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111لل
11¹آقا
قابل
Successful parenting can only be achieved by knowing your religion, knowing that pakistan is ex hindu with a hindu culture, then making the children understand what islam says when they see western culture and hindu culture. Explain that this is our culture, we love it because we are ex hindu, however this is not what islam says. Explain the solutions that islam provides when an issue arrises in the west. Tell them the difference between cultures. Pataans are ex jews thats why despite living in pakistan they have a different ( and better, more connected with islam) culture and a different identity. Tell them about geography, have a map on the wall. Tell them about islamic history. Why shias exist. Tell them they cant marry qadiyanis and shias. Tell them why islam wants a man to have four wives. Tell them islam is not racist. Although marrying in a different culture changes ones life to the point a lot of people are not comfortable in it. Tell daughters they are allowed to demand their inheritance from their brothers in the event both parents die. The brother WILL have to arrange finances, take out a loan, or sell the house. Tell them the importance of education and good grades. People are so thick they dont know the basics, thats why they dont raise kids well. Striving to keep them in good schools is one of the best things you can do. Keep them away from riff raff. And keep them connected with nature. Being outside is good for mental health. Too many mothers are so lazy they dont even take them to the local park, Keep them in local rubbish schools. Then you have mothers who if they have money take them abroad on holiday, never mind the local park. You have mothers who wake up earlier than others and who drive miles to good schools. Dont discourage them from playing outside alone, and going out with their friends alone. Associate fresh home cooking with a good upbringing of children. Especially with sons, who knows what kind of wife he will end up with. He could end up with one that boils a packet of pasta every day.
Kahan ta ye discussion is tareeqe ka lookout mere time pe . Love u all for such an eye opener . Ye sab gutti ab mai apne ghair shaadi shuda bacchon ko pila rahi hoon , jazak Allah khair .
Ma sha Allah ! Booster for us being parents .
really need this topic🥺
Very informative, thanks for this podcast 🫡👏🏻
They touched almost every aspect in a very comprehensive way . I use to wonder about all this and still do in my 30s that was it right for parents to insult and abuse like that and finally when a grown up child in mid 20s speaks up even without using harsh words they are left guilty that they said something bad to their parent and Allah will not be pleased with them.Most of us grows up opposite to islamic teachings and parents are not ready admit the correct ones because they are holding on to their old ways not Islam in reality . My household trauma is never ending and would not heal . But I am educating myself for future generation and brining changes in me because I fell in love with the true and correct Islam. It's incredible hard because in the society people like us are considered outlaws and have hear the words that feels like a knife through the heart but hopefully Allah is watching over and will help. May Allah give all of us correct knowledge and help us to be steadfast on it .
You have explained what I went and am still going through perfectly
A very comprehensive discussion indeed but I'd like to see a session for parents who are living in guilt of not being able to parent their children properly for the first 7-8 yrs of their life, what would b the steps and how to go about correcting the mistakes made
Thanks for sharing precious knowledge about parenting. It is requested to do a session on "rights of in-laws on daughter in law". As usually in our society men serve their parents through their wives. Kindly elaborate the rights and duties of either side.
Great video ,
Knowledgeable channel
These channels are life changer🦋 may allah bless them his blessings
MaaShaaAllah very healthy discussion n need of the hour jazaakallahu khair
Extremely important topic and level discussion 👍
It was wonderful talk Ali Bhai kindly do some discussion for single mothers how they could be good parents
Amazing podcast. It's too informative
The best podcast by Muhammad Ali sb totally related and inspiring
JZAKALLAH anti... M in sb bhaion ko bht sunti ho khana bnaty hoy ghar k kam krty hoy.... But Allah ny apki ki awaz m or way of talking m jo bat rakhi sedha dil m utrti gai h apki sari batain you are right hmari society m ye bht normal issue h. U are the best mery bachy ni h abi recently married but yes the issue you guys are talking is very important.... Appreciate your efforts... Love u from Dubai ❤
No words to express... My feelings... excellent..
Jazak Allah khair
Masha allah .love the way aunty speaks..need more topics about parenting a teenager.its really tough time parenting a teenager.mera teenager beta kabhi ese gusa dila deta hai k khoon khaul jata hai pr such topics help me deal with this kind of situations and after sometimes he comes and hugs me and feels guilty.plz we need more and more such topics
Very beautiful discussion I am very proud of your parents Allah gave these beautiful children
MashaAllah very nice.JazakAllah khair
Great session. I want you guys to talk more on detail on opening argument of children fading away from Quran because of overdoo and eventually going sway from deen. Shukriya
Ma shaa ALLAH, Jazak ALLAH khaira, Ameen sum Ameen
1:05:10 JazakAllah someone finally discussed this.
🥺🥺
Full of information. Jazakallah
Bht hi acha bht helpful JazakAllahkher ap Sab kq
Wonderful podcast...... Jazakallah
I too was repeating the same mistakes which my parents have done to me... 😢 thank u for opening our eyes.
Very well explained Amen 🙏
MashaAllah bht acha topic tha aur sb guests ki baatin b
What A Topic! ❤
جزاكم الله خير 🤲🏻🤲🏻
Parenting is a great ,powerful and careful responsibility.. so plz t.c every parent for built their future
what a great podcast !!
Most awaited video from Ali bhai....so happy to see the title 😀
Much needed topic