Why People with Depression Suffer From Low Self-Esteem?
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- čas přidán 26. 07. 2024
- In this video made on his birthday, author and depression counselor Douglas Bloch explores the question, "Why do so many people who are depressed suffer from low self-esteem?" After answering this question, Douglas shares some simple tools and techniques that a person with depression can use to raise his or her self-esteem.
To visit my personal website which contains links to all of my books, websites, and newsletters, go to douglasbloch.com
To visit my depression recovery website, go to healingfromdepression.com
To visit my website on suicide prevention, go to www.overcomingsuicidalpain.com
To contribute to this channel so that its healing information can reach more people, visit / douglasbloch
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As a kid i never imagined i would feel so sad as an adult.. i imagined myself differently...
Tell me about it! As a kid I felt sure adulthood would be a great experience. Boy, was I wrong? 😩
Yes,when I kid I can't wait to grow as an adult but the thing happened differently😢😢😭
Same, Hope your coping, God Bless
We spend our childhood trying to rush away from it and embrace adulthood, and then once we get there, we start pining for the childhood we left behind. It's a no-win situation. Damn near every expectation you had of adulthood when you were a kid turned out to be a total let-down. It's further compounded by the fact that a lot of people who you knew and loved as a child are now either dead, moved away, at odds with you or simply off the radar. The passing of my grandparents, especially my maternal grandmother, hit me especially hard in this way. The more your loved ones start dropping like flies, the more you feel like you can't rely on anyone to be there for you, because something will inevitably take them away from you permanently. Who can you trust at that point besides yourself? I never looked at life the same way after she died. It felt like a stake through the heart of my childhood and a cold, cruel and callous introduction to adulthood. What's the point of having people near and dear to you if some cruel twist of fate will take them away from you, never to be heard or seen again? Mind you, this is but one of several disappointing and heartbreaking incidents in my life that pretty much cemented my cynicism, inability to trust others and overall lack of dignity and self-esteem. Adulthood feels like some cruel joke which I'm the butt of, and everyone is in on the punchline except me. Aside from physical death, is there any other way to make this madness stop so I can finally get a firm grasp on what's slipping away from me? I guess I'll find out in due time.
@@rjc7289 You said this perfectly. The deaths of people close to me so far in my life have all been people who were a pivotal part of my childhood (first my grandparents, then one of my earliest childhood friends, and most recently one of my uncles). It's stressful because I have felt like with each of their deaths, another aspect of my childhood is gone. It scares me because I fear that whenever my parents pass (especially my mother), I'll be plunged into a deep depression. It also doesn't help that I am very reserved and only have a small circle of people I love and trust. It just feels like as this circle gets smaller, life will be sadder.
Affirmations don't work if you don't believe them..... we need to do something that gives us a sense of accomplishment, we need a few good close relationships, we need to feel loved and appreciated, We need hope that we have a future. But so many people are lonely, jobless, hopeless, and just feel judged and bullied by a society that doesn't understand or care about people that struggle.
This is true. However there are some ways to connect with people. For example meet up.com has lots of groups where people meet who have similar interests.
i agree but the more u say affirmation to urself the more ur brain decides its true. i have tried it, i didnt believe any of it at first as i was saying them, but the more i said them the more my brain believed it n i felt comfortable in myself! unfortunately once i stopped affirmation im back to square 1 bcoz i quit too early.
my point is, i knw it will feel like u r lying to urself and tht its ridiculous but do it every day for atleast a month n see if it makes a difference *hugs*
@@lovedefault1167 it depends on your personality. i feel condescended to when I don't believe something. it actually makes me more annoyed.
So true, sometimes I feel l don’t have close relationships at times even if they aren’t family, there great but sometimes I feel things are off. Then people tell me not to blame others
True
My low self-esteem came from being bullied in school ...and being in a mentally abusive relationship.not to sound cocky but people always tell me I'm pretty but inside I feel completely different...great video
You can reprogram your mind to feel as beautiful on the inside, as you are on the outside
@@DouglasBloch thanks Doug
Do you feel better now?
You are beautiful the way you are.
@leighann you actually are beautiful
I have chronic low self-esteem. Some days are better than others. ☹️
💗💗 best wishes to you always.
Nirvana Girl I am on the same boat. You are not alone.
@@kwstasarampatzis9055 Everybody does ?
@@kwstasarampatzis9055 going for the 8th year .. there's no hope at all.
I feel you❤️
My low self-esteem is came from Lack of support from parents, being bullied from schools, and also failures and mistakes
I am sorry to hear that. However the brain is neoplastic which means it can be changed for the better
@@DouglasBloch Nice to know that
Exactly same here, lack of support and lack of praise. Even at the workplace there is a culture of criticism and no praise. Being surrounded by narcissists is so damaging to self esteem
You are such a beautifully kind man. Your videos are like little life rafts tossed out to those of us who aren't swimming very well. Thank you so much. You comfort me.
I’m glad the videos are being helpful.
I’m suffer from low self esteem. I believe my father had low self esteem as well. As a child, I was ridiculed and belittled this behavior has continued to carry onto my adulthood.
Adrian Small same...it’s not easy
@@estheradao Sending you love. God sees you in a whole different way hold on to that rather.
lol that joke at the beginning 10/10
Glad you liked it.
😂😂😂😂
Depression alone can also worsen the self-esteem. Suddently this thing happens to you and you feel weird and estranged. The solution, as you say, is to connect to people with similar experiences. Making part of a group is essencial
+I completely agree with you. That’s why I’ve been running support groups for the past 17 years.Nazaré’s Lab
And that's a wonderful thing! I wish I could visit one of your groups some day. Unfortunately I live in the other side of the ocean haha
The $20 bill story was very powerful, no matter what it still had its value, I’ll try to remember that one as it’s a simple but effective example
At the age of 35, all of a sudden I discovered that %99 percentage of my painful memories and pains came from lack of self esteem.
Yeah
Everyyyything was rooted in my low self esteem...
I like the book "six pillars of the self esteem"
It hit me and threw me to the reality of my old old chronic problem, self esteem
I hate myself and as a result hate people deep inside
100%
Same lt destroyed everything
Wish I had the opportunity to have listened to you 14,15 years ago.
I would have been a far better place. Keep up the good work!
Thank you
Happy belated birthday Douglas! I'm so happy I found you and your amazing work!
The analogy with the twenty dollars was powerful! This strengthens the affirmations .We can believe in our value because we are assured in this simple way that a state of depression does not diminish ones value!
🙏🏾 a lot for the video. Happy Birthday 🎂 Doug. You made me realize that my self esteem is not dependent on my depressed feeling. Or what I’ve achieved
This was beautifully explained. Thank you Dr. Douglas for brightening my mind about depression. I'm a psychology student who is practicing on weekends at an Addiction Clinic and now i'm having inspiration to treat a patient who has depression.💛
Happy birthday Douglas! Love your channel. It always puts me in a better mood.
I’m glad you find the videos helpful.
I wasn't ready for the Muhammad Ali voice over. HILARIOUS!!!!!!
I agree. My favorite part of the video
Happy birthday Doulas. Good to see you are back in your best form again.
+Thanks. I enjoyed you on the live chat.Enda F
Happy Birthday Douglas!!!!! Thank you for all your help.
+You’re welcome. For future reference my birthday is on February 22, the day this video was recorded.Mildred Peroni
Thank you so much! I've recently found your channel since I've been suffering from depression and anxiety myself, and immediately subscribed. I love your jokes in the beginning, they lighten the topics so well. And the way you tell about those topics, they tend to cheer me up.. I would only add one more point why people with depression have low self esteem ..because of childhood trauma:emotional,physical or sexual abuse..plays a huge role I think and affects adulthood.. Thank you again!
I agree with your point about childhood trauma. I made this video on the subject, which I think you will enjoy.
czcams.com/video/yHolu6rHKCM/video.html
Thank you for your work here on YT. Happy birthday 🎂.
Where the information has been helpful
I hope your feeling well, depression is tough. Thanks for your info.
Thanks Douglas. You are saving so many lives.
Your videos are purely inspiring and I thank you for giving me a little bit of your light.
You're welcome
Happy Birthday to Doug!! I know it’s late (or early) depending on how you look at it! Wishing you many more! 🎈🎂🎂🎂🎈
Thanks. I’m turning 70 on February 22, 1949. You can send me a truffle.
I was the dyslexic/dyspraxic kid in the class, I got bullied senseless from my fellow students and treated like a worthless idiot from the teaching staff. Despite being above average intelligence I was bottom of the class in everything. Everyday was like a living hell. I never thought this would effect me as an adult but then again, they don't call them "your formative years" for nothing.
Exact same problem here. I'm dyspraxic. My dad, as old fashioned as he was, never really "got it". That has affected me.
Same here and when the teachers who know better bring you down, this just makes it worse.
Happy Birthday Douglas.
Hope you had a wonderful birthday. I’ve been watching your videos and I believe they are absolutely correct. I do believe I have this low-grade depression. I’ve had it as long as I can remember. I am now 55 + have continually worried about my age since age 23. I can remember the exact time it started. As a child, I dealt with a narcissist mother. My poor father was always working to support her spending habit. She was pretty mean to me while growing up. I was the oldest of 3. My sister was clearly her favorite but I was too busy to worry about it - my brother was diagnosed with diabetes at age 6. My teens were wonderful. We finally started to feel like a normal family after moving away from my grandparents - my mother’s parents. This was wonderful as we grew up in the north-west mountains of New Jersey. We were then pulled out of our elements by my mother, who decided that she was moving us down to south Jersey and selling the house. I feel like I never recovered and made not-good mistakes. But, here + the now I am in my little house with my pup, which I accomplished after allowing my brother to live with me. It was a horrible ten years of being emotionally abused by a narcissist-turned-stalker. I love your coping techniques - your videos so help me tremendously! Every morning I awake in a panic but I’m trying my best to accomplish at least one thing per day. It’s a struggle getting up every day but the hardest part for some reason is getting myself into the shower without getting distracted. It’s a daily struggle and I just don’t know anymore. I’m trying.
Keep persevering. The mornings are the most difficult, but once you get through them the rest of the day gets easier. If you email me I will send you my chart of self-care activities to improve your mood. douglasbloch@gmail.com
It's good to know depression is not who i am, not part of my identity. Thank you for this video
You're welcome.
Thank you Douglas, that really helped me today.
I taught myself to not care about anything when I was a kid because caring hurts when the thing you care about is ruined or gone, but now I don't even care about the outcome of things I do so I don't feel motivated to do those things. And therefore can not learn anything because I can't care enough about anything to put in effort.
Perhaps you should see a counselor and talk about this. You might feel better
@@DouglasBloch Perhaps, but I doubt they can help
Happy BIRTHDAY Douglas 😍🎂🎂🎂🍰🍰🍰🥂🍾
By the way you look much younger than your real age..👌👍
Thanks.
Yes, I had pegged you for 57 years old or thereabouts, Douglas Bloch.
Hi Douglas, excellent video very informative and interesting, ty so much, regards, Bob
Happy belated birthday. I didn't know you were born in March. I turned 28 on March 19 actually. Still struggling but somehow surviving.
Thanks Marin. I haven't hear from you in awhile. Actually, this video was actually filmed on February 22, which is my birthday. It was published in March.
happy belated birthday Doug!!!
Thank you.
Happy birthday Douglas! You look great!
Thank you. Go to 4:10 and watch me do an imitation of Muhammad Ali.
Sometimes, especially during my darkest and lowest days, I experience the opposite in public.
Alone I feel like a worthless husk.
But in public I strut like the most alpha of males and a confidence I never usually can summon takes over.
It's got to be some sort of compensatory response, I think.
Yes... it happens with me lots of tym...
But i think in my case its becuz i think a lot when i'm alone...
That $20 bill analogy really drove the point home for me that I have self-worth and dignity, no matter how much others try to tear me down. What others think of me should not change my core value. I need to work on that and make it my life's mantra.
This was useful, thank you Douglas for these videos.
You’re welcome.
Happy birthday, much success health and happiness to you
Thank you. Best wishes in your mental health recovery.
Good job , Douglas Happy Birthday
Very Interesting & Informative. May you be Blessed with all Good Things.
Thank you.
Amazing. Thanl you so much! Looking forward to watch more of your content 🙏❤
I’m glad you found it video helpful
I'm happy to see you are so cheerful 😁 Great video. Thank you.
You're welcome Did you see the funny part at 4:20?
Douglas Bloch yes! It shocked me , then made me laugh. 😆
Happy Birthday, Douglas! 🎂🎉 Hope you had a wonderful day. Loved this video ... especially Muhammad Ali 😂 Dude, you’re the King of Komedy™️
+ thanks. I’m glad you like my imitation of Muhammad Ali. Stop Kafirophobia
happy birthday man .
I love that illustration of the $20 bill. Fantastic Gem 💎 to ponder on . Ty!
You are welcome.
Happy Birthday Douglas and many more 🏀
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DOUGLAS! Another year young and another year strong! ☺️🙌🎂🌈💚💚😊😊 This video is extremely helpful. Low self-esteem is something I have struggled with for YEARS.
😂LOL your Muhammed Ali!
And nice "Hot mama" joke 😂
+I’m glad my sense of humor appeals to you.The Forever Freak
Just watching and listening to him is meditative!
Thank you so much... You helped me to begin thinking about it
You are welcome
thank you so much for this video
Another good video and good information!! This does seem to be true, what you say here. It's tough and rather sad. I can really relate! I've felt really beaten up and down!! It's good people like you in life that help. God bless you and keep you and thanks!!! 👍👍👍👍👍🙋😩😩
Thanks. Perhaps you want to come to my Sunday live chat at noon Pacific time
@@DouglasBloch Well, thanks for the invite but I don't know if I'd be interested in a chatroom situation. Really need to think about it. Can it Just be observed??
I miss myself before depression
You can get yourself back again
@@DouglasBloch Its over living in the third world is not like living in america or europe and what make it worse muslim are not welcomed anymore there. there is a bad perception about us Im still a human before being a muslim Im human first but people nowdays jump directly into your background
thanks Douglas.
Happy Birthday!!
+Thanks. It was actually February 22 when the video was recorded.Tracey
Love your videos, can really relate to them
Thank you.
Happy Birthday!
i can appreciate the $20 bill it definitely gives a different perspective. looking for internal value when you feel worthless inside is definitely not easy. looking like a million bucks while feeling homeless inside or feeling like a million buck while looking homeless.
What a wonderful way to explain self esteem and the $20 bill story is beautiful and powerful. Thank you.
You are so welcome!
@@DouglasBloch I am reading one of your fellow countrymen’s book which is excellent and helpful. “Unwinding anxiety” by Dr Judson Brewer (psychiatrist) which for me is first time I have heard someone talk about “resting in and accepting your anxiety (“rain” method) and being “curious” about it (physical sensations, emotions and thoughts). In the past, “distracting oneself” from your anxiety seems to have been the message. Thank you for your efforts in posting.
It's nice to know that im not alone.
Thanks. Perfect solutions.
Thank you Sir. The video is very helpful.
You're welcome.
I'm 17 and lately I have been suffering from low self-esteem. idk why but I'm tearing reading comments of others here with my same problem.
Perhaps it's because you realize you're not the only one with the problem
Thank you for your videos ❤️🙏🏽
You're welcome.
Thanks Douglas
Happy birthday Douglass.
You're welcome. It's coming in six days, February 22
Thank you Dough..l have low self esteem after my two breakdowns but l am improving
Keep up the good work
Thank you Doug
You're welcome.
Thank you for this exemple with the Twenty Dollar. I will always remember myself to my worth.
You’re welcome. That’s a great story
Very helpful video.
Really helpful
Great video thank you.
Glad it helped
It’s not that I have low self esteem it’s that I feel so powerless over horrible things in the world 🌎 that make me so upset. So… here’s what I’m trying. What can I do right this minute to add some positive energy to people in my everyday life. It doesn’t have to be anything really special. Maybe a smile to someone at the grocery store. Maybe just making a delicious dinner for my husband. Then just be in the moment. I finally am just “letting go and letting God” deal with what I don’t have the capacity to deal with. It is enough that just THIS day is lovely.
Sounds like a wonderful strategy.
Thank you
Thank you sir !
You’re welcome.
Doug, if I had to guess your age, I would have said maybe 60. Happy birthday!
You are welcome.
Happy Birthday Douglas...and you'll have many many more.
Thank you for the good wishes
Girls bullied me from the 4th grade on and my parents gave me some traumatic experiences, verbal and emotional abuse.
I hope you can find some counseling to help to release the trauma
@@DouglasBloch I’m doing therapy now it’s taken me out a very dark place, I still struggle mightily but I’m better off than I was
Oh my gosh, tearing up while eating oatmeal at that description of why depression is just a description of how you're suffering, not your entire self. Huge.
I'm glad that you understand that point. Depression is not your identity
The positive affirmations does not work if one is tricking themselves into a false sense of reality. People do it to protect their self esteem . Reality speaks louder than false positive thinking. Its not about reassuring yourself how good or worthy one is or thinking positive ,its about accepting the flaws.
Happy birtday Douglas!👍
You're welcome. My birthday is three weeks from tomorrow, February 22.
I just watch it. Before going to work. I have this issue. ...
My parents were very toxic people. This of course led to them having a very dysfunctional marriage. They often fed off each other's negativity. This negativity rubbed off on me. My parents were also "helicopter" parents. "don't do this don't do that" They never trusted me or had any faith in me which led me to being very sheltered. Any time I did something wrong, they would always be like " I told you so" This caused me to have a lot of anxiety which is why i have such a crippling fear of failure. Growing up I was bullied by pretty much everyone, kids at school, teachers, even my own family. Being a shy awkward and very sheltered kid, You can imagine how easy of a target I was. High school was especially painful. and an experience I try very hard to forget. You can imagine what years of being told you are every bad thing in the book can do to your self esteem. I also had a learning disability that pretty much went undiagnosed until I was in my 30s. Only now am I trying to rebuild myself. I graduated from college and am in a very difficult and demanding profession. Carrying a lot of very deep wounds from my childhood.
Congratulations on your accomplishments. Perhaps you can find a therapist or a counselor who can help you work through those childhood wounds and release them. Ask them about something called EMDR
At least you have good taste in video games!
At the age of 45 years old now I deal with low self-esteem and depression from being called ugly and bullied and be brothers stealing girlfriends from me or women laughing at me ask I tried to talk to them or ask them out I currently still go through this as a adult I don't want to be this way
I think it might be a good idea to see a therapist or counselor who can help you to feel better about yourself and work through your problems/
Thx Bloch :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I suffer from depression. Recently my husband and father of my kids ended our relationship (he has been deeply hurt by my condition). This loss sent me into a downward spiral. I am slowly recovering now, finding my self again. It's a daily conscious effort. Forgiving my self for what has happened is also a huge part of the process. Every day I think about the pain I have caused to the man I love. It's very hard to find peace. Can anyone share some strategies to help relief such thoughts? Thanks! 🙏
I have a video on this channel called forgive yourself for your mistakes. I think that will help if you listen to it. I’d also reach out to a counselor or therapist.
I find your videos so helpful and reassuring. Thank you for all you do.
You’re very welcome welcome
I had always had low self esteem and lack of confidence. I have never felt comfortable with people. The only weapon I have in my arsenal is anger!
Have you ever tried therapy to help do you to manage your feelings better
@@DouglasBloch Yes I have, I am now looking to return to therapy.
That's a good decision. I wish you the best.
My low self-esteem comes from being bullied as a kid and having a very strict father who critizied me as a kid for my physical appereance and my intelligence.
To this day he tells me to get a nose job.
Then the "cherry on the cake" i made a facial beauty test on the Internet and i got a low score....
At the same time i feel bad for feeling bad about something soooo shallow.
Breaking free from past conditioning is difficult. Perhaps you can find a good counselor who can give you the unconditional love you could not get from your father. The great psychiatrist M Scott Peck said that all therapy is the process of re-parenting.
I am 57 still single bad heart issues no career.
And Jesus loves you right where you’re at!! I said a prayer for you my friend, I relate to your struggle.
Tq for ur valuable videos
You’re welcome
thanku sir👍
I have to remind myself that over the last five years when I look back I have written two stories that are on Kindle. There is one pending in another magazine. They have not sent it back yet, so here's hoping on that one. It turns out the drop-in center where I work needs my skills from the working world to fill in for the man who ran the shop. He passed away suddenly. It seems I am in the right place and the right time for a change. There are a few other little things happening that make it feel like things are starting to go my way again. The dysthymia I have been informed is something that I need to regard as chronic. From what I have heard that may not be entirely true.
I’m glad that things are going a little bit better for you. Dysthymia is what I have. It is a long-term condition but you can get a lot of good stuff done and have times of happiness.
these comments made me feel kind of better
Happy birthday mate you don't look a day over 50 hell Id even say 45
Bible verse helped alot
They sure do! And high dose fish oil helps tremendously
i cried when i’m he called me special
I grow as a succes child in every aspect and make many friends in primary school...and it change drastically now...I'm in University and hard to make friend and suffer anxiety and low self esteem ...it's sad and hard to live with this😭😢
Have you reached out and tried to seek counseling at the college
@@DouglasBloch no...
That might be a good thing to try