Star-Crossed Lovers Stories: Why We Love Ill-Fated Romance
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- čas přidán 5. 07. 2024
- Some of the best love stories of all time are tales of star-crossed lovers, opposites with an intense passion for one another and seem to have the odds stacked against them. The term itself comes from one of the most famous examples of the trope: Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. We love these love stories and often want the star crossed lovers to be together… but perhaps part of the reason we are so drawn to these stories is because there is something cathartic about seeing when things don’t work out...
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We are The Take.
00:00 Why do we love tragic tales of love?
01:41 The storytelling devices that keep lovers apart
04:44 The everlasting impact of love that doesn't last
09:03 Realizing how precious love is while it's there - Zábava
WATCH MORE: How was the classic star-crossed lover tale "West Side Story" adapted? Here's our Take on a fresh look on ill-fated love, then and now: czcams.com/video/DYyW5Ju71Vo/video.html
Why did y'all change the thumbnail though? 👀
The romanticization of star crossed lovers is so fascinating to me. It was really called out in the hunger games (much more so in the books)
-how audiences are so aggressively obsessed with it. How it’s sexualized and viewed as beautiful as opposed to actually tragic and depressing
and still the book plays into it and keeps the missconseption alive . . .
They’re obsessed with it in fiction but they’d be too scared to try it irl imo
In the books, I found it not romanticised. On the contrary, the writer brilliantly depicts two wrecked and traumatized people. I was shook by the realism of the ending.
@@mapletree3434 I agree. I think the ending
(*spoiler for the hunger games series*)
portrayed two broken people that actually defied the idea of being “star crossed lovers” (which they were called by the capital multiple times) by surviving beyond the end of the story.
And Suzanne collins (author) deromanticized it throughout by showing how psychologically damaging their situations were. By showing how it didn’t make their love stronger, but their lives harder and sadder. By the end you have two people who love eachother and who are building a life in what will hopefully be a happier world, but it is not portrayed as romantic or a Hollywood style happy ending for a romance. They survive and they have to deal with the psychological horror of their “doomed” situation. It’s not romantic and it’s not beautiful. It’s brutal.
I think Collins’ masterfully portrayed the relationship without falling into this trope.
I think the idea that the books “play into it” as Ariane Winter suggested, is missing the many instances the concept was looked at with mockery/disgust especially in the first book, by katniss herself. At the point which she did not love Peeta and believed him to be lying about his feelings for her, therefore making the capital’s claims that they were “star crossed-lovers” completely ridiculous to both her and the reader and conveys that the capital only believe in the nonsense because they’re gullible and desperate to eat up these dramatic/Hollywood type ideas that make good entertainment.
In catching fire I’ll admit they do become star crossed lovers in katniss’ own mind. So briefly yes, they are in that category, and again when Peeta is hijacked it seems that way,
But I think the ending where they survive and rebuild defies the concept. And the tone in which Collins writes the ending is very much not romanticized.
Please cover the "Unhappily Married" trope, in which a couple are constantly at each other's throats, and their marriage is portrayed as bring miserable for both parties.
Beatrice and Butterscotch Horseman would be great. Fantastic deconstruction of following your heart and the way romanticization of poverty goes horribly wrong. A princess can't just abandon her castle and all its servants and a commoner still needs to make a living.
Just watched Blue Valentine, which is the PERFECT example of this
This would be suuuucchhh a good one! Like Archie and Edith Bunker, or Al and Peg Bundy. 😆
Marriage Story
@@joghog3279 or Ralph and Alice Kramden, who were pretty much this trope before it was a thing
"I love you"
"It will pass"
I've never sobbed so hard.
Maybe when he in a few minutes says I love you back. That scene messed me up.
So it's really the saying "It's better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all" expanded to about two hours and let us see it in practice.
Heck, Anthony Bridgerton needed 8 episodes and a lot of bad decisions to realize this.
A big appeal of star-crossed lovers is the depth of their love and soulmate connection. These couples are mostly separated by external factors, or rarely, internal decisions; but their love itself is so strong it transcends even death. Everyone craves the certainty of such a deep bond, to absolutely know a person is meant for you, no matter what.
Agree, and only add : everyone also craves the assurance that the other party is as committed to being together as are they. After all, nothing says "I really mean it forever and ever!" like risking life, limb, financial security, reputation and/or social standing to be with someone, eh?
I’m a Queer Person. We have too many Star Crossed Lovers to deal with and we want more happy endings.
I have a queer fairy tale story where the lovers end happily together, as birds, not as people, but still happily together forever.
Another fairy tale story of mine is about a transman and a bi princess, who end happily together forever.
@@sammyvictors2603 Omg that’s so cute.
@@sammyvictors2603 that sounds really cute
@@sammyvictors2603 these sound awesome, if we can read them somewhere, do share💖💜💙 And good luck on your journey as a writer!
As a horny queer person I love happy endings 😉 😂
Agreed on all points, but I think we also love it because it really captures the short-lived "first rush of love" essence. If these people had lived, they'd have gone on to the more mundane aspects of life - bills, dirty laundry, diapers, annoying neighbors. That's not exactly what we like to think of when we think of passionate romantic love. These kind of stories get frozen in that "perfect" phase. We don't get to see them grow old and saggy or just weighed down by the stresses of every day life. It's something of a fantasy.
What about Lalaland? I have always like this type of stories but Lalaland hit me really hard and that’s when I realized why I like them so much! I am an artist and I can tell from experience that following your passions and looking for opportunities in life does come with a price. The forever battle between having companionship and not moving towards your goals is the most real thing one can experiment. Reality is that, as you said, for some of us love is part, but not all what matters in life. Some might like these stories for the rush feeling, but some of us do because that’s how real life works.
The real appeal behind the "Star Crossed Lovers" trope is that we can all relate to the challenge of trying to overcome the seemingly insurmountable odds, or human desire, at some point in our lives.
From a psychological standpoint, it can also be a subconscious desire for someone you can't have, for a number of reasons (you're actually afraid of committment, it resembles a parent figure from a childhood who wasn't available and couldn't give you love or be with you, etc).
My least favorite thing is when people try to angle a certain relationship as star-crossed but then they get to be together forever anyways... ignoring their individual lives, their relationships outside of each other, and everything else, to do so. Giving up everything for a person is positioned as society as romantic, but it's mostly just sad.
Agreed! Usually the realist in me is thinking about how these couples are simply in the honeymoon phase and not being able to be together makes the longing even more extreme or it’s more infatuation than love. Once the fire dies down, many couples of this trope wouldn’t be practical or compatible personality wise. The example I can think of is Jack and Rose.
You know, I love a good story about overcoming obstacles and achieving dreams, but you're right. I don't think it's impossible to write these couples getting their happy ending in a way that doesn't completely strip them of everything but each other, but I doubt it's common.
Well, I think the problem is the "happy ending" of a movie wouldn't be the ending in real life, it's merely the beginning. Life doesn't end when people find each other, when they decide to stay together, when they get married or whatever... at least it usually doesn't. And then you have to find out that staying together is hard work, even when you love each other.
Overcoming the initial obstacles is one thing, but overcoming the day-to-day obstacles, for years, for decades... that's a whole different thing.
@@DoloresLehmann that’s exactly it! And I think that’s why star-crossed lovers would rarely work long-term. The ‘us against the world’ mentality can only carry you so long through regular challenges.
@@AlyssaTheGeek Absolutely. For it to work long-term, they would need to find a new basis for the relationship.
Some call this *"twin flames":* you love deeply, *your soul learns/transforms,* but you don't always end up together. A piece of your heart always remembers them ☆
Movies like that captured and romanticized the most passionate as well as the shortest phase of a relationship. We don‘t get to see it withered by the boredom of reality. We don’t get to see it turns ugly. We also don’t get to see it overcomes time and evolves into real love. It‘s like a beautiful fake flower, or a flower that just bloom for 2 hours, that’s why we enjoy watching them.
Totally
Girl: “I want our love to be like Romeo and Juliet!”
Boy: “underage, caught between two gang wars, we both die. Nice!”
Fez: "Just like Romeo and Juliet"
Hyde: "Have you read Romeo and Juliet?"
What girl talks like that....
@@bhavya5692 an annoying theater brat
How about Gomez and Morticia?
Just watching this video kept bringing me close to tears multiple times. There's something so intense and touching about these kinds of couples, I absolutely understand why they are so popular.
I cant say how much this video was important to me right now. I recently broke up a short and deeply profund relationship. And it has been a pain. Understanding that the path was glorious and the end doenst obscure it is the most difficult thing in the process. Thank god videos and content creators like this help us to understand better what is going on in our hearts.
Because we dont get to see the dull/realistic nature of long term relationships. Learning communication styles, dealing with in-laws, etc. Relationships stopped before that point are forever associated with youth and excitement
"call me by your name" broke me to pieces but I loved it, , maybe we're drawn to star crossed lovers and tragic endings because deep down we know they're more realistic and grounded than the dreamy fairytales.
Edit : I wrote this comment before
I completed the video, before the movie is mentioned.
Marianne not only has the book, but also she is opening it at that specific page it was meaningful for them both. No spoilers 😉
If you really love someone, sometimes you have to let them go.
This is one of my favorite tropes so glad you are covering it
Another aspect of the Star Crossed lovers trope that I think doesn't get enough attention is where you have the lovers being forced to hide their love due to societal pressures and laws that would damn them if they ever made their romance public. It comes to a point where the couple are forced to end their relationship, move on with their lives, only to end up back together many years later when society becomes more open and accepting of their type of relationship. This is usually done in stories set decades ago when mixed race and homosexual relationships were outlawed.
One example I can think of is My Policeman. The movie is set in 1950s England, in a time when homosexuality was criminalized. We have a police officer name Tom who starts a romantic affair with an art curator name Patrick. The two men have great passion for each other but because of the laws at the time, compounded by the fact that Tom is a married man and would lose his job, they have to keep their relationship behind closed doors. When they are exposed, the consequences of their romance hit them like a ton of bricks as Patrick goes to prison, while Tom loses his job as a policeman. It was only many decades later when society no longer outlawed or looked down on homosexual relationships that they were finally able to rekindle their love (with the blessing from Tom's wife) and live together as a couple.
I think its also very interesting that in many SCL stories (some, not all), that there is also the Manic Pixie Dream Girl/Boy trope being portrayed at the same time....
Good point! Sometimes it's not just that the relationship is being romanticized, but also that one or both parties are presented as an idealized (or trope-y) partner in order to justify risking all for them.
I love your take on this. Star-crossed lovers may seem like the ultimate perfect fantasy love story but I do believe this happens in the real world a lot. (Speaking from experience: ended my relationship with the person I consider my soulmate because of religious differences)
I think an honorable mention is Pocahontas and John Smith (disney 1995). They are very different in terms of race, culture, and objectives and yet they fell in love, albeit short-lived. And in the end, both their worlds and outlooks have changed and Pocahontas's wind (guess this is their "talisman") carried John safely home.
One of the most memorable lines for me was when John said to Pocahontas "I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you." Has same energy with "better to have loved and lost".
This hit me hard.
Love this topic! Can you do a video that talks about the underdog and the ridiculously average guy? They're kept out of the spotlight
There was this series that Jason Segel made quite recently. The main character was average, boring guy who's life was stuck in a rut.
Dispatches from Elsewhere
Portrait of a lady on Fire and West Side Story?! Love this analysis
"The culmination of love...is grief...
and yet,we love....despite the inevitable....we open our hearts to it..
...to grieve deeply...is to have loved fully..
Open your heart to the world as you have opened it to me, and you will find every reason to keep living in it"
-faye, God of War ragnarok
Harold and Maude is one of my favorite movies, always makes me cry. Just a beautiful story about learning to love life.
I do love the star crossed love trope 💙💙💙
My favorite is Splendor in the Grass.
The ending absolutely guts me
Yup. I have never forgotten it.
😄 Posted 14 hours ago!
I haven't been getting the new Take videos in the top of my recommends as consistently lately. But here it is! And a favorite subject too--something akin to Soul Mates
The irony of another star crossed lover movie, Doctor Zhivago is that the star crossed lovers are actually brought together by outside forces, mainly the First World War (Yuri Zhivago is called up as a battlefield medic while Lara Antipova volunteers as an army nurse to finder her presumed missing husband). Both are already married but both are brought together by circumstance. At first the star crossed lovers are separated by the end of the war. Yuri doesn't meet Lara again until he and his family are exiled from their Moscow estate to the Ural Mountains and secretly has an affair without his wife knowing. Yuri breaks off the affair out of duty to his pregnant wife Tonya however the twist is that he is kidnapped by Red Partisans fighting in the Russian Civil War. During this time his wife is deported and so when he deserts he can only find Lara (with Tonya's deportation and Pasha's descent into the Bolsheviks Yuri and Lara are briefly allowed to continue their affair until Lara's benefactor informs them that both are wanted by the Bolsheviks).
I have a pair of star crossed lovers in my stories that is almost rediciouslus. I have this concept wher in different worlds the same souls exist to justify why I sometimes tend to write the same archetyps taking different paths, in other enviroments what ever. Those twos souls are linked in all the worlds of otherwise unrelated books, they are basicly soulmates, ment to be togeather but as fare as I recall, they never actually get togeather. In two stories he ends up on the opposite side of a conflict and does some things she just can not forgive even if they where done "for the greater good" ending once with both dying for their in the end shared goal, in the other she simply decides against him for her trust in him is broken and settles with her former rival for his affection for they have bonded over their grievences with him . . . . and he takes her place in a sacrifice.
I have lots of starcrossed lovers but I am not one for idolising it. (romantic) Love is not all we need, sometimes it is not worth it, as in cases of abuse, loving them will not cure them, sometimes other things are more importent and sometimes fate is just cruel.
I have experienced your first paragraph in real life. No joke. Real life really IS stranger than fiction. If only I could stop analysing stuff...
@@maiangerjarv7466 true that, there are thinks so unlikely happening you could not write them down for people would call out "lazy" writing and stretching the suspension of disbelief to far
*Jada Pinkett/Blair Underwood in Set It Off.*
*Nia Long/Taye Diggs in The Best Man.*
*Angela Bassett/Taye Diggs in How Stella Got Her Groove Back. But as usual all white everything.*
Taye Diggs in general just be star-crossin
My favorite star-crossed lovers stories so far have to be Loki (series) and Howl's Moving Castle (and all right I loved cmbyn too much when I watched it, but too bad can't watch it again, Elio is an icon for us the *gays* tho💖💜💙) and maybe The Good Place for sth more (paradoxically, pun-intended?) down-to-earth (not so much on the trope but really all of them not dead center, that's probably why I love them).
K, I haven't seen Portrait of a Lady on Fire, but I was under the impression that the lady in the portrait was on fire, not the portrait was on fire. 😂
I think that while this trope can be very entertaining for the depth of feeling and intensuty it provides, it can also be damning when it's so wildly spread in books and movies that we begin to believe that impossible love is the only type of love worth pursuing. That if your love doesn't cause you despare than it must not be deep enough. To me, it would be rewarding for the viewer (or reader) to discover the beauty of not only the crossing of stars but also of when stars align
i think a part of the appeal of star-crossed lovers is that it takes the burden of responsibility off of us. we like to see parts of ourselves in such stories because we can then memorialize our past loves as something beautiful, as opposed to something that perhaps didn't work out because the fault is in ourselves (and not in the stars)
truly the end does not matter. the metafor that the journey is more important than the destination is true in life. the memories we get from the journey is what matter in life, when we are all old and in the end of our life all we have are the memories we made to console our selves with...
Titanic is awesome
Please do a video on Boy Meets World’s Shawn Hunter
Good idea
T1J does a video on Shawn & Angela if that helps
@@nicolemontalvo4560 can you send me a link?
The Sunset to Sunrise Franchise with Ethan Hawk is kind of a Stae Crossed tale about 2 people who meet & only spend a few hours before they part ways everytime. I don't knownif that's what happened in the 3rd movie but I knownthat was the plot of the 1st 2 movies
In a way my D&D character is playing out this trope with another PC. The context is our group is playing through Ravenloft: Curse of Strahd. Halfway through the campaign we get two new players, both playing vampires. One of these vampires (Alexander) is the younger brother of Count Strahd Von Zarovich and Sergei Von Zarovich. My character, Zelda Alagondar, is a half elf cleric and the heir to the city state Neverwinter on the Sword Coast. This story follows Zelda and Alexander as they try to have a wholesome romance in a gothic horror setting with war brewing between Barovia and Neverwinter and the threat of becoming the very thing you despise.
The party was in the village of Barovia during a werewolf attack. We decided to hide in the boarded up tavern and figure out what to do next; we had been to this tavern several times before. At the tavern we met Alexander (going by Alucard at the time) who was in the middle of a bar fight. After some brief introductions, Alexander helped the party get rid of the werewolves and decided to join us on our adventure. Note: We were down two fighters at the time and needed a tank. Additionally, that session only featured Zelda and Anthony (another vampire in the party), so we were looking for all the help we could get.
Now Zelda is immediately skeptical of Alexander as she thinks he's just Strahd in disguise or something so she watches him over the next few weeks to see if he is either the Count himself or one of his numerous spies. After some time of getting to know Alexander, Zelda begins to grow fond of him, first developing a strong friendship with him that turned into a wholesome romance when the party temporarily escaped Barovia. The two would go on dates, talk about their families and much more. Zelda even convinced Alexander to take his place as Count of Barovia once we defeat Strahd. We had to be especially careful as the DM told us about the vampire toxin Alexander has in his blood that could turn or kill Zelda if they weren't careful. This toxin would mess with the prophecy the DM set up as Zelda is one of the key figures in the plot to permanently kill Strahd. Long story short she has to remain mortal in order to fulfil her end of the plan. Another factor dooming this romance is the political tension between Barovia and Neverwinter. Strahd decided to declare war on Neverwinter after a political alliance between the two nations failed. The political tension mixed with the vampirism makes Alexander and Zelda's relationship a forbidden romance that will most likely end in tragedy.
My favorite star crossed are Jack and Rose and Jamie and Landon. I also like Wanda and Vision despite my issues with Wanda
I sooo liked this video ♥️♥️♥️
Also think it helps that the status quo of a lot of other romance stories is to make the conflict come from either some ridiculous contrived miscommunication or one of them behaving in a way that's genuinely awful either to the other or to someone else it's nice to see romance where the conflict is we can't be together because our families are Rivals and not oopsie daisies he was lying to her the whole time or oh no she saw a random conversation and jumped to conclusions rather than letting him explain
Is it bad that I do feel saved by a star-crossed love/connection? Society says only we can save ourselves and you shouldn't give anybody else that power. So, I don't want to admit it but I do feel saved by someone else. Is this bad? Am I wrong?
Yes it's one of those forbidden loves and it was his never meant to be that everybody seems to love.
Surprised you didnt mention the Bridges of Madison County
Why did you change the thumbnail?
How you didn't include The Way We Were is beyond me!
Wait why did the thumbnail change?
yeah came to the video only because of that 💀
'Better to have loved and lost...'
It’s a good trope when done well but it’s hard to do it well. I think it sort peaked in Shakespeare
I needed Disobedience as an example of queerstar crossed lovers
why did you remove portrait of a lady on fire from thumbnail? 🙃🙃🙃
I honestly just really like it when characters suffer
I'm over the whole star crossed lovers trope 🙌, i'll give you one irl - King Charles & his consort 😑.
I'm into brokem people who meet each other and heal together ✌️. LOTR- Faramir & Eowyn 😍
I'm surprised that it wasn't mentioned that in many of these examples of the "Star Crossed Lover" trope that these couples in normal circumstances wouldn't had given one another a second look. Look at Romeo and Juliet. In the play Romeo just got dumped by Rosalind. He is on the rebound and pretty much would date a mop if it would give him a chance and then here comes head strong rebellious Juliet who is sick of being controlled by her family. Now do you really think Romeo would be her type? Makes you think what if Hazel and Gus were healthy, or Jack and Rose weren't on the Titanic or if Maria and Tony were the same ethnicity, or if Enis and Jack lived in the 21st century. Let's be honest here sometimes you want something just because you can't have it. Has nothing to do with love.
I’ve been in a star crossed relationship
Veronica Mars and Logan. What happened to Logan at the end really made me not want to revisit Veronica Mars at all.
Because it did not last for us.
Ending this with a clip of Andrew Glouberman from Big Mouth was…a choice…
LMAO I was also shocked 😂
Is Cate Blanchett not absolutely smoking hot? She's so freaking gorgeous to me
Not always tho troy and Gabriella mal and Ben zed and Addison any of the Disney princesses etc
Make a video about the star crossed lover that do end up together that work out
Alllie and Noah from "The Notebook" are typical star-crossed lover that are separated by class, her family, war and her being engaged to another man but end up living a happy life together. In the book it is elaborated on that they have several kids, built individual careers and fall more and more in love while being together. Sure she suffers from Alzheimer after a long relationship, but I would still qualify them as a star-crossed lover overcoming fate.
They usually do unfortunately
Atonement 😭
Why was the thumbnail changed from a lesbian couple + a straight couple, to two straight couples. Wild...
Hey guess what… my favorite star-crossed lovers are Katniss and Peeta cuz they really end up together.
Quick question is Jack Dawson a manic pixie dream boy?
FIRST COMMENT I LOVE THIS TOPIC
You truly are
My favorite starcrossed romance is Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy 😢
u all missed in the mood for love
Sad that there was no mention of Marvel's Wanda and Vision :c
I wish fiction had more healthy well established romances instead of constant buildup.
The best star-crossed lovers? Buffy and Angel.
You were always my favorite star 🥀💔 ✨123 comments✨
Hancock?? Couldn't have gone with Buffy and Angel?
O' happy dagger!
😃🗡
Do yall think its possible that showing the daily maintenance and unglamourous aspects of love is not seen as ideal or entertaining?
To be honest I think TITANIC would've been more tragic if Rose and Jack would've been married for years when the disaster happened.
I can't take a 2-day-romance that serious.
That somehow happened from this old rich old couple in titanic that had a powerful romance. The husband insisted the wife to save herself (since its mostly women and children) but she insisted not to and she would go to him wherever she is and they died together when the ship sank. This is real and also deleted scene
A film that focused on Isidore and Ida Strauss might be golden. Hollywood needs to learn that not all love is young love.
maybe yall should really watch more anime cause this is literally Banana Fish to the letter :(((((
Romeo and Juliet were teenage lovers in their time's version of a high school drama. The Leonardo DiCaprio version of it was terrible.
Wtf smfh City Of Angels that ending was just saying God is a mean spiteful vengeful father and thi the same thing Mephisto done in Ghost Rider
scary amount of ans*l elg*rt in this one...
The title of this video is incredibly wrong, I hate these stories 😂
Maybe we should just end " Favoreds", so we can have less "star crossed lovers".
I don’t
i don't like this trope,really
it digusting
Overdone tbh
Women love these romances because in this fantasy women never cook, clean or change nappies.
Why do people act like call me by your name isn't a movie about a pedophile and an underage boy disguised as a romance?
For the same reason why the murdering doctor in the Danish Girl is celebrated… because of the policy that states that: “anything that supports the 🏳️🌈 community is good, even if it kills men or abuses male minors.”