65 Childhood Autistic Traits - PART 1
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- čas přidán 29. 06. 2024
- Hi! Please like this video, leave a comment and subscribe if you'd like to follow me on this journey :)
This is PART 1 of my childhood autistic trait series.
Watch PART 2 here: • 65 Childhood Autistic ...
Watch PART 3 here: • 65 Childhood Autistic ...
Timestamps:
04:30 Staring at flames/electronic bedside clock
05:50 Different experience of hunger/low interoception
07:20 'Gifted', 'wise for my age', innately good in school
10:20 Strong sense of wonder/excitement
12:00 Stimming, nervous tics & OCD tendencies
15:20 Flexibility/hypermobility
16:34 Sensitive skin
17:45 Painfully shy (except when talking about my interests)
21:05 Unusual attention span/hyperfixations
22:55 Behavioural issues
25:40 Constant daydreaming
27:20 Asking people to scratch my back all the time (sensory seeking)
28:15 Traumatic first move
30:30 Struggles with change
32:35 Intense interests
34:10 Plushie collection
34:45 Preferring/identifying with animals more than humans
36:00 Monologuing about interests
37:15 Social struggles & bullying
38:25 Friendship difficulties
39:25 Told to speak (up) more in class
39:50 Sensory differences
42:40 Spoke very articulated, 'proper' French & corrected everyone
43:10 Victim/witness of abuse but never thought to tell
43:50 Hated shopping or anything 'girly'
44:55 Differences in facial expressions & handwriting
46:30 Bad in sports
48:10 Easier time expressing feelings in writing
48:30 Slow reader
49:50 Avoided eye contact w/ teachers
50:05 Constantly doing things w/ my hands in class
50:55 Meltdowns
52:00 Echolalia & excellent auditory memory
53:00 Anxiety
53:55 Feeling different
Watch more videos:
• Ways I Mask As A Late-...
• Re-Learning to 'Stim' ...
• My Autistic Special In...
• Childhood Trauma as a ...
• Navigating Social Cons...
• My Sensory Sensitiviti...
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I think the definition of a tantrum is "a reaction to negative emotions which is physically vigorous, loud, or otherwise grabs attention, and which the SPEAKER deems is inappropriate". That last part is something you wouldn't find in many people's definitions, but I put it in mine, because I believe that this element of personal judgment is inherent to the definition. The term is not applied objectively, but subjectively. How do they know it is a tantrum? Because they personally believe it is inappropriate. And we can audit their reasons, and judge for ourselves. Just because people have the power to define things doesn't mean that they are right, and that their judgments cannot be challenged. Maybe we believe that the reaction is justified, and that the people who called it a tantrum were out of line. We can reframe the emotional reaction, if we deem that it should be reframed.
Thank you for bringing this nuance to the discussion ♥️
So may things that you have spoken about resonate highly with me. In your childhood and youth. I was and still am obsessed with animals and still only like 1 or 2 friends. Bullying at school was horrendous. I was shy and spent time on my own. Thank you for explaining things.
First I want to say I think you had a nice smile in that photo you shared. 😊. Thank you for sharing these traits. I do indeed relate to a lot of them.
I skipped lunch every day, too, because the cafeteria was just too overwhelming for me. I would spend the time in the library with a small snack I managed to sneak in (I think the librarian knew and just didn't mind it)
About the fire: there's a painting by Mark Rothko at my favorite museum that's a big orange and brown canvas. I love sitting in front of it and "watching" it because the color reminds me of flames! It feels like meditating.
I think the thing with victims of abuse is universal. I mean the way they don't realize that the abuse is abuse. Because they're in an environment where they are made to believe that the abuse is normal. Anyone who doesn't have examples of healthy family relationships to draw on will come to the same conclusion. It's the same with lots of kinds of relationships. When the messages you receive keep telling you that it's normal, you accept it. It's why so many people who get abuse by oppressive systems think that they deserved the abuse.
Other than the abuse, I hear a lot of things I relate to. You definitely need to turn the opposite way to undo the first turn.
I agree. I decided to include it in the video anyway because I read somewhere that being abused and not thinking of telling anyone can be an autistic trait, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it :)
Dear 🧡 Paune, one thing, is it's completely impossible for me to retype a comment already carefully crafted that the computer suddenly erased unless as here it is begun entirely different.
It is wonderful you do English well. French people say i've a great French accent (though not really knowing a word spoken). Despite wishing to learn other languages never did i ever.
Capital "i"s i cannot stand, unless it must be business writing so vain does it feel !
Though that comment seemed notably original, this highly sensitive brain thoroughly refuses to let me even attempt recreating it.
Interesting vid, i love hearing other's autistic proclivities.
Thanks for successfully putting up this offering ❤.
Sometime i will recomment to 😊 you if you do not mind.
Oh yes, just in case, it is part of my profile that sometimes i don't realize the social, interpersonal consequences of my words !
Have a great day or night Paune ! 😊
Hi Paune, I don't usually comment and mostly lurk. I find myself connecting with so much of what you say. Thank you for uploading and sharing your stories with us. It makes me feel less alone/less crazy.
I'm also 26 f and some of the things I related to in this video were.. frequent day dreaming. Always being asked 'What's wrong?" because I have 'resting bitch face" or "a flat face" I'd often lie or find some kind of excuse, even when I was feeling fine because I was tired of saying I was okay. I also have some ocd tendencies, specifically "evening out" things I'd do with my body. I have double jointed ankles for example and to be able to sleep, I often have to roll them or make them pop x amount of time each and will start over if I miscount. It has to be even or I'm unsettled. As a kid, I would also walk up to kids and do something using flexibility as a way to insert myself, because I wasn't sure what else to do. (I would hold my hands and pull them over my head and back without letting go) My parent's would often describe me as "just different" from others. I was also obsessed with movies as a kid and would rewind to certain parts of moving on my VHS player because I would be mesmerized by certain parts. I especially remember being fond of the ballroom dance scene in Anastasia. My sister and I would fight over the VHS player because I just wanted to replay it frequently. My mom would have to beg me to smile with teeth or change how I was for pictures. I'd get locked outside often and would usually stare at a specific part of my yard where there were rays of light and convince myself they were magical. I would stare at clouds while outside, or my ceiling inside and find patterns in the paint/pictures in the clouds.
I hope the info dumping is okay, I appreciate your content and hope sharing also helps you to feel less alone/imposter like. I will be getting assessed soon. I'm anxious/was struggling with giving myself permission to be assessed. But your channel has really helped me to believe in myself. Thanks Paune!
I’m so happy for you 😍 thanks for sharing your experience, it’s very much appreciated by myself and I’m sure a lot of other people in the comments! Indeed it helps feel less alone and like an imposter ♥️ best of luck with your assessment 🤞🏻
Thanks! @@paunesjourney
@@jayceejellies6424please let us know the results of your assessment once it’s done (if you feel comfortable doing so), I’d love to know how it went for you 🤗
I had to rewarm up to people, too, when I was younger. I don’t understand what was going on there, but it’s like I couldn’t tolerate talking to or interacting with someone until I got used to their presence. Which doesn’t make sense to me. I wonder why that is..
I was almost given glasses I didn’t need because I kept walking into things. They thought surely I just can’t see that a railing is directly in front of me. Just dyspraxia!
I used to stare at clocks and do math with the numbers, too!
Thanks for the video, I relate to a lot of these points.
Some points not related to the point of the video:
-interesting about french grammar, I didn't know it was historically made to be difficult because for me it was very easy 😅
-Also not related to the point of your video but your dad was very old 😱
Haha yes he’s 81 this year 😂 he had me when he was 54 👍
As someone who is not in contact with your birth family, do you feel like it’s risky to have a CZcams channel? My partner wants to make a channel, but she’s afraid of her birth family finding it.
In my case I don’t think there’s a risk because my parents know nothing about social media/youtube, I’m not giving any actual names on my channel that could lead back to me or my family, my partner is the only one who knows my channel name and he’s not in touch with my family, and finally my parents don’t speak English 😅 but tbh, in the unlikely event that they’d discover my channel (and understand what I’m saying in my videos, and actually care enough about me to watch…), I wouldn’t care that much, because I’ve detached myself from what they think of me, and they can’t get to me anymore 🤷🏻♀️
@@paunesjourney I’m glad you feel safe and detached from them. Thank you for sharing.