The Rulebook of Narcissism: Using the Rules for Control and Domination
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- čas přidán 28. 04. 2024
- This is the final part in a short series looking at how narcissistic people gain and maintain control over others. This video looks at how they use and abuse rules, procedures and concepts, exploit loopholes and gaslight to frustrate, sabotage and climb over those they see in their way.
And their lack of empathy and sense of entitlement enable them to justify their actions while disregarding the impact on those around them.
#narcissism #darkpersonality #narcissisticrelationship
Double standards definitely
Narcissists update relationships in real time at their own convenience.
The goalposts move constantly. The more they move, the more you give(up) to them and the less you get in return. Death of relationship reciprocity and accountability for them by a thousand cuts.
Their selfish metrics updates give us the right to fight back. The person we should be negotiating with is the game producer.
Precisely!
Now I understand why my mother harsh with me and more lenient with my brother and sister, even though the two of them caused her far more and severe difficulty when we're growing up. Both of them became more and more dysfunctional to the point that they became substance abusers, high school dropouts, felons, and teen parents. I graduated from highschool, college graduate, no legal issues, no children, military veteran, and professional job now.
Better put: She drove them to dysfunction and she drove me away.
Good for you, jeffrey, GOD BLESS YOU, brother. 🙂
you are safer away from your mum
similar experience. They want everyone around them to be similarly miserable
Lots of highlights the big bell rang for me with 'finding out about rules that you never knew existed'. That was after seven years in the job!
Yep for sure. I worked at a job where 1 office bully wall allowed to play games on her computer. Another girl could look online for 2 days for a new vehicle. One day I was discarding very old emails, and N office manager said if I had time do that, I should ask her if there was anything she needed me to do. Out of there now. Best move I ever made!
That's not true. You must be crazy. I'm the victim, not you. (DARVO) my attempt at humor :)
I know someone that fits that description. Impossiblle to deal with him. Very toxic.
Creates division. Yes, sir! It certainly did. I have gone no contact, live in another state, haven't seen any family between 5 and 8 years depending on the individual, and feel no guilt or shame about it. Life is better that way. I don't want them in my system.
Good for you 👍
Very important video!
They use both the truth (reality, rules), half truths, and lies, to control other ppl.
Spot on. This is exactly what the narcissists do. Monstrous behaviour.
How very many times Pop said "Do as I say, not as I do." His was overt narcissism. Much worse were Mom's covert malicious narcissism. Scary how many of your points they met.
Thank you Darren for speaking about this. They have different rules for different people.
It's a daily torture to have a classic narcissist in charge... head of a university department. You are forced to take sides, you are either a slave or an enemy.
You confirmed my conclusion regarding why my mother was so argumentative about my returning back home 2006. It was under the disguise of concern but ultimately about re-establishing control. I didn't comply. I was told to suit myself and my reply was, "That's what adults do and should do. Only young children suit their parents."
When a narcissist accuses someone of something it's very likely that he/she is projecting their own bad behavior onto the other person. The classic example of this is when a person who is cheating accuses their partner of having an affair. Knowing this can be quite useful for helping the victim reclaim some of their power. Don't become angry or upset, just cal.mly mention that people (don't say narcissist, keep the extent of your knowledge to yourself as much as possible) who make accusations are showing their own faults. This drove my covert narc father crazy or should I say crazier. Your videos have been very helpful to me; I hope my experiences will help people as well.
So informative, thank you.
"My" narcissist is so charismatic with her words that she convinces my colleagues, that are in their 50's, that i am something that im not😂 (in her smear campaign against me) They are flying monkeys and don't even know it.
Darren I'd like to know your take on... It seems that sometimes flying monkeys are not aware of their behaviour/ involvement. I'd love to hear what you think about that. Thanks for what you do
@smartfone231 I’d made a video on the different kinds of flying monkeys if you’d find those helpful?
Your closing reminds me so much of my now deceased narcissistic father. What he did to all of my siblings, especially his sons, he was unable to do to me, even though he tried tenaciously.
At his last attempt, I looked at him, turned around, and walked away from him. The next and last time that I saw him was after he had multiple mini-strokes. He didn't know we were there even though he was conscious. I eventually left and never went back. Eventually, I relocated back to Tennessee. A little more than a year later, I learned that he had passed away. I didn't return for the funeral. Why?
I hadn't lost anything worth having.
"You need to get some compassion but into your heart!"
This was my then narcissistic romantic interest's response to me when I maintained my boundary and refused to allow her into my life again after cheating.
If I hadn't had life experiences and then have them explained by your videos, it would be difficult for me to believe that such people actually exist in this world; because I just can't see my treating people the way that some family and so called friends have treated me.
I’ve made this comment before in your videos, but I will say it again. You must have met my mother! She is everything you said here. The favouritism and different sets of rules for her children which created division. Yep!
Thank you Darren for paintinga a clear picture of what is going on
I seem to have had more than my fair share of dealings with narcissists, given your description. Or perhaps it is a lot because I am a typical personality of their preferred target.
This channel is brilliant! Right up there with Dr Ramani, Sam Vaknin, and Richard Grannon.
Here’s a funny for ya. As my narc husband quietly and slowly crept up into my bedroom doorway I had just clicked on your video and I could just feel him there so I read the title of the video excitedly out loud. I said THE RULEBOOK OF NARCISSISM??? And without any hesitation and without even turning to look at him I said I got your guys RULEBOOK now. Hahahaha. Then I turned and looked at him standing there very angered. 😂😂😂😂. One of his many cry and attempts of arguing with me is how I watch these kinds of videos but this was expected anyhow. I watch these videos for my mental health not his so I don’t actually care what his thoughts about this. 😊
Why would you egg him on like that?
To what end?
To start shit?
To "show" him?!
I'm genuinely curious WHY you found it necessary to piss him off (or whatever your intention was)
Because EVERYTHING we do is done with intention.
And this made you gleeful seeing his anger?
Hmmmm..ok.
Very helpful, you've just explained the pharmaceutical industry and governments behaviour during the recent pandemic. Seems to be the narcissistic pattern of entitlement is repeating and gaining momentum in households and relationships globally. Humanity not learning their history lessons. But the source of the problem I'd like to speculate is the patriarchal culture of misogyny and sexual dominance. That's where the problem lies with humanity. Sexism and dominance leads to all other conquests of power over others. It's a big scam, to believe in the lies of those who seek to dominate.
Thank you. A very good video again. I understood it very well. Sometimes I wish I didn't understand because I only understand it so well because of what I've been through. It is somehow always helpful to just hear it put into words like this to organize it and make sense of it. The load is so immense and traumatic really that videos like this smooth out a piece of it at a time.
You said it all.
Wow… spot on. Great series
This is spot on!!!
Right on ...
I concluded that's why a narcissistic female colleague sent other colleagues an email regarding my boundary setting. You know what came of it? Zilch.
Also see Kai Winn in the series 'deep space nine', who was played by the same actress who played nurse Ratched!
If she had her way, I would not gone to the military and, afterwards, so far away to college. I could tell this by her verbal and nonverbal communication during those time periods.
She would actually prefer that I remained in that dead end town with little to no opportunity for a better life to maintain control, even though I was the only one of three who had promise and did succeed. And this is my mother?
But I understand: She grew up in dysfunction herself. Among other things, with an alcoholic father and witnessing his rampages.
Very good video
Narcissists make great lawyer, car dealers and politicians.
Putin, Trump, Orban, Erdoğan, Johnson, Trust, Sunak are all Narcs. Would never ever describe them as good!
Also police officers and priests.
Here in my middle class Queens neighborhood those two occupations were highly narcissistic.
interface business
A lot of them seem to have chosen jobs in healthcare. I've had a few doctors that were most interested in being right, not actually helping me. One got angry when I refused to take medication that had bad side effects. I got a second opinion from a different doctor and he was appalled by that. There are also a few narc teachers out there. Once you can recognize,, you can neutralize.
They like people who follow them and hate people who don't. That's how they decide and use their fake emotions.
I cant help but notice the parallels between narcissists and those on the political left.
Huh?
What is described, here, are the rules by which the WHO, WEF, and the UN operate.
Back up your statement with examples and reasoning.
@@Joelswinger34 It explains itself, doesn't it?
@Joelswinger34 friendship with the world is enmity with God
@@kat-75 I don't get it? I don't pick up on what you mean?
@@kat-75that's pretty pathological thinking right there
US politics under DT.
You poor thing...😂😂😂😂
@@TheListOf Right? Pure partisanship without an ounce of critical thought. As if it doesn't apply to every administration in recent memory.
@@shsummers It's more a case of Trump Derangement Syndrome...
@@TheListOf Watching from another country, but very concerned for our neighbours and friends in the USA. Concerned for the whole world.
@@susanparker9877 No, you're not. You just hate Trump.
Every authoritarian right winger/hard leftist politician ever. Trump, Stalin, Mao, Putin, Mugabe. can we have mandatory personality checks for politicians please?
Don’t forget Obama.
Narcissist term is been overused these days…People called me an narcissist before, because I am cold, uncaring, callous towards people feelings. Because they love to put label on people because it doesn’t benefit them because i don’t care about them. Narcissist lost his meaning these days…..People are hypocrites these days. I don’t empathize with people at all, i don’t feel it, done. No narcissist, no toxic, no drama. I avoid people as plague because they working on my f nerves….