A bigger penis ≠ more pleasure (unpopular opinion) ft. Dr. Laurie Mintz
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2024
- Does Penile Length actually matter in a sexual experience? What exactly is the Orgasm Gap? What can contribute to a great sexual experience with your partner? How can you help your female partner achieve better orgasms? All these answers are answered in this video interview with Dr. Laurie Mintz! Be sure to watch until the end, and be sure to check out her book!
(affiliate links)
Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It
by Laurie Mintz: amzn.to/3G80En9
She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner:amzn.to/3g2np1n
Dr. Laurie Mintz is a feminist author, therapist, professor, and speaker whose life’s work has been committed to helping people live more authentic, meaningful, joyful-and sexually satisfying-lives through the art and science of psychology.
As a tenured Professor at the University of Florida, she teaches (www.drlauriemintz.com/human-s...) the Psychology of Human Sexuality to hundreds of undergraduate students each year. She also teaches and mentors graduate students in both their clinical and research training. Dr. Mintz has published over 50 research articles (www.drlauriemintz.com/human-s...) in academic journals and six chapters in academic books. She has received numerous professional and teaching awards.
With this same goal of providing scientifically-accurate, sex-positive information to enhance female pleasure, Dr. Mintz also writes a popular Psychology Today blog (www.psychologytoday.com/intl/.... She also gives presentations and workshops (www.drlauriemintz.com/sexuali... professionals and lay audiences and is often quoted in national and international media (www.drlauriemintz.com/mention....
For over 30 years, Dr. Mintz has also maintained a small private practice (www.drlauriemintz.com/sex-the..., working with both individuals and couples on general and sexual issues. One of her greatest honors is supporting her clients during difficult times, as well as helping them make positive changes and reach life goals.
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Rena Malik, MD is a urologist and pelvic surgeon on youtube to educate people about all things urology including erectile dysfunction, how to increase testosterone, problems with sex, premature ejaculation, urinary leakage, or incontinence, overactive bladder, urinary tract infections, prostate issues and more.
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Chapters:
0:00 Intro Card
1:42 What is the Orgasm Gap?
3:26 What can contribute to this "Orgasm Gap"?
4:42 How does the Female Anatomy play a role in this?
7:04 How can men get more involved in Clitoral Stimulation?
8:57 How long does lubrication typically take?
11:25 What is mindfulness and how does it contribute to great sex?
14:08 Is pornography still safe?
18:35 Does Penile Size actually matter...?
21:27 Are Sex Toys a replacement? or an aid?
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DISCLAIMER: This video is purely educational and does not constitute medical advice. The content of this video is my personal opinion and not that of my employer(s). Use of this information is at your own risk. Rena Malik, M.D. will not assume any liability for any direct or indirect losses or damages that may result from the use of the information contained in this video including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness, or death.
I’m thankful I had a girlfriend that told me what felt good and what triggered her. She taught me a lot in my younger years that helped me through life. I should’ve married that girl!
Why and how did you broke up?
Its her loss. Haha
"triggered her"? If she's someone who gets "triggered", you dodged a bullet!
@@ThePrivateGamer19 I wanted to do more things in life and didn’t want to be tied down. Was in our 20’s.
@@Mr1Tanker actually, I literally did. She didn’t take it well and there actually was a gun involved. She went from heartbroken to pissed off pretty quick.
I wish there were some way to give this video 1000 upvotes. It is truly a fast and furious fireworks show of good, solid, vital information.
Congratulations, both of you, Drs. Mintz & Malik; you hit it outa da park!
Fred
i love this.. its not a commentary on men... its a commentary on culture!!!
Thank you both for revealing out all our hidden feelings & anxiety. I'm greatful.
I've learned a lot from this talk. Thank you to both doctors. It really helps more if people can communicate without the fear of taboo or condemnation, but with honesty and trust.
Good Communication is Good Sex.....
It's interesting to note that use of the Hitachi wand in this way caused a big stigma for the company, so they eventually cancelled production of them. All that exist are clones now, unless you can find their old vintage model.
@@Competitive_Antagonist21:32 🎉🎉
Let's be honest. Does size matter alone? No, but it more helps nearly all the time. No woman will choose a 5inch over a 7.5inch with the same relationship qualities and sexual commitment. Just an honest viewpoint
Studies were done using 3D models of different size penises and women were asked which size is the most preferable. 6 and a half inches thick was picked the most. The second size was 7 and a half. The third was 8 inches. The fourth was 9 Inches. After that it was average size.
Great content Dr Malik hit a home run with this one by calming the fears of a lot of men
Thanks for confirming things I've been thinking, all along I've felt that way and it seems I've been around so much negativity about size I stayed single for a very long time afraid to put myself out there, even though I've had some good experiences and know what to do despite being below average, the negative comments I've continuously heard over the years really took a toll.
Hey man just some unsolicited observations. Be secure and confident about what you got even of youbhave to fake it until you are. Never show a lack of confidence to the woman. Learn to be(if you are not already) a good kisser, really good at cunnilingus and foreplay. Learn to build up tension in the woman, tease her, take your time. Foreplay begins in the mind, flirt and tease. The more you build it up the better it will be. Don't sleep with a woman right away, stretch that out as long as you can, esp when it comes to the actual act of copulation. Tease her , eat her out, make her orgasm on your tongue and fingers. Be confident in your body and skills. When you finally get to the act. It's in the hips, move in circles like a dancer, not just in and out, move you hips like a girl walks , side to side and in circles. I have been with girls who felt very tight and some very open. When they feel very open I had to use every trick in the book to get them to orgasm, but I did it and so can you.
Women look for security and that lies outside of the bedroom be that man
I've basically watched everyone of your videos and I just want to say they are very informative and they have taught me so much. I also want to say thank you, you have helped me feel better about myself and my body.
Thank you Rena for educating me so much. From a woman’s prospective is important.
Outstanding video. I've taken notes on everything you've talked about here... Thank you so much for sharing all this great info. You both rock!!! 🙂
One should never leave a partner frustrated, always go the extra mile, and read some books men, we're not all that we should be.
Wow!!! I first started following you when you had 300 subscribers. It's been a minute since I've watched a video but it's amazing how you're almost at 1M!!! You deserve it. This channel has made me consider Urology as a specialty, I'm currently an M1 student. Best of luck in reaching 1M!!
Extremely informative, thank you ladies so much.
THIS …. Is an Awesome conversation ! So many topics to consider. 👍🏻
Buying my partners a toy always lead to the relationship ending. They were too ashamed for their partner to know they did it.
Awesome 👏 thank you. I just bought the book because I need to learn more. Excellent questions and great interview Dr. Malik.
Great video. Thank you for having an expert guest on your show. She really covered everything and set the record straight on all of the sexual topics and issues. Very important information. People need to be more sexually educated. Sadly, the problem is too many people are not. That needs to change.
I never had a girlfriend in my life I never had sex I never got to injoy anything like that because I was always to quit and shy to do anything like that
Love love love Rena! Just an incredible woman and doctor!
I love the creative titles for books like this.
Excellently described. You are a real source of knowledge on that matter. Thanks
Just waiting for the doc to hit a million subs. Thanks for loads of valuable information!
Great information! Thank you doctors for the insight.
I am glad you & your friend explained this
I have really enjoyed your review of this, to me this is why foreplay is so important in a relationship.
Thank you so much Dr. Rena for being a good source of education, especially for the young boys out there whose first exposure to sex is through pornography and the terrible expectations it sets for everybody.
I never knew the dangers of anal sex until know!
Ugly women talking about orgasms is like old women supporting abortion. In other words female equivalent of a sad man !!!
It does help if the lady your with will tell us what they want,it does help. It's not that important,but.🤫
@@brucekilby9957 I would say a woman telling the man she's with or about to be "with" sexually what she likes is VERY important. They say that men are like microwave ovens, we heat up quickly. Conversely women are said to be like crockpots or slow cookers. It takes them awhile to heat up. I would say women are like crockpots with combination locks. What drives one woman wild with pleasure will annoy the hell out of another. Example: One woman I was with LOVED direct clitoral stimulation (fingers, tongue etc...)...she couldn't get enough of it. But another woman I was with didn't like "direct clitoral" stimulation, she liked indirect stimulation. So, ladies, giving the guy you're with some information is a good thing not just for you, but for us as well. Not every woman knows how to give a man great oral sex the first time you're with him, you weren't born with this knowledge and guys aren't either with what pleases you. None of this "he should have known" stuff either, that's childish. We are all different. So, tell him.....TELL HIM!!!! Trust me, the guy will do pretty much what every you ask if he knows it will get you off. Oh, and if he doesn't do what you ask, then you'll know you're with the wrong guy....2 birds, one stone. You're welcome.......
@@tidefanyankee2428 Thank you. You must have lot of time on your hands.🏆🥎
Hi Rena, your videos are fantastic, ive done a binge these last few days, very informative, ty 👊😎
This topic is very important and meaningful to both man and woman to know their own body movement to serve with full satification
Full knowledge in one video...you did great Rena😊
Every time I watch one of your videos I learn something. The saying your never too old to learn something new definitely applies to myself
I’ve learned so much from your videos.
Thank you!
It's amazing to me that guys need to be told this stuff...I get off on her getting off even more than myself most of the time. I was lucky enough to be married 23 years to my my late soulmate and we had total open communication with no judgements and total trust to do the right thing and being mindful of each other's feelings and responses.again I was lucky and blessed...these videos are indeed necessary though and it's a great thing you're doing them and taking the awkward away
my thoughts exactly.. I feel for the woman who have these ignorant insensitive men in their lives 😢
This was a well organized; put together vid. Really enjoyable and very educational. Thanks
This is way sexual education and communication is so important. I had 3 encounters with older women in my younger days that changed my life from a sexual perspective. I learned to communicate better, to not be afraid to try new things and most importantly to keep my business to myself. Even today when I see them, I give them big old hugs. GREAT SHOW
.””
@@rogerjordan7544 ??
Bro
Have you any instagram account?Lets chat about your story
I like how you say encounters like they were some sort of side quest in an rpg
what a great interview. even better Dr. Mintz's book is free for amazon prime members.
Doctor Malik,
Thanks for proving the world with your guidance by educating us. Your topics are very informative and educational. Your classic approach to all subject matter is impeccable.
Sincerely, 🤓thank you for being you. 👍🏻👍🏻.
Have a great day. 🎊 🎉
My cousin said something I alway knew. “Girls don’t coach us”. Up until recently the responsibility has been mostly on men.
It's like they expect men to be mind readers. Would it kill them to at least make a noise when you do something they like? Every woman is different. Some like a light tickle on their clit, others like you to really rub it. Some can't orgasm unless you stimulate their nipples at the same time as the clit. Others like the equivalent of a full body massage on their genitals. Discovering her responses through trial and error leads to a lot of mediocre sex, even before they start sending bad signals. Some of them act like they just want to get it over with; pulling you on top of them when you know they are nowhere near orgasm.
Yes, we play the game and they are the judge.
Here is a pro trip: Care about your own, prolonged pleasure. Use her for that like a tool. Works like a charm. And don't comment before you have tried this a few times and were able to take a huge amount of pleasure out of a woman's body ;)
@mabe2551 I get pleasure out of my body from putting pleasure into a woman's body. I actually give a damn about others in general. The way you say take pleasure from her body or whatever morbid sh*t you wrote, reminds me of a dirty rat or that guy who steals from his own friends.
In my experience most women won't tell you what they like, then blame you for not knowing what they like. Can't win. And I make it a point to try to find out what they expect or prefer- the most successful lasting relationships I've had were with women who weren't afraid to tell me wheh I was doing something "incorrectly".
Agree
exactly!!! You can ask them... and usually they won't show or try to explain it... catch 22 LOL
just buy them LV and Coach. They will tell you what works!
That's because they don't know what they want.
Unfortunately, with lack of experience, you aren't able to show or tell. Also, if she has told you and despite that, your performance seems to get nowhere and she realizes that you aren't able to replicate the feeling she wants, it's a mute cause. To much direction and men get angry. It's a catch 22.
Anyone else get the horse tonic ad before this?
Very important that there is a need for online content education about if we can name it ethical sex. As you mentioned for example I was having so many problems and misunderstandings about sex but I found some online education content that covers, clear, and solve them like your CZcams channel. Finally thank you for clearing up the misunderstanding about sex and keep it up.
This video deserves an A+ y'all covered everyyyyythigggggg. I love it. Love how y'all talked about intimacy and communication which porn doesn't have it's all about penetration and male dominance.
I think you brought up a good point about those of us who are longer -- it isn't the be all and end all, and in fact can cause issues with some. Average is designed to work with average, and when you are longer it can cause pain for the receiving end, and also can cause us to have to hold back so we don't cause our partner pain. That said, there are things like the ohnut that can be used to help limit depth when needed.
Also as I have said before, communication, communication, communication.
My wife is 5’0” tall and 100 lbs. very petite. I am 6.5” long. It makes it painful to do certain positions.
Thank you for posting this
If a woman ever commented on my size I would tell her, "If I knew I was going to play in a cathedral, I would have brought a bigger organ."
OMG🤣🤣
Big girls have cathedrals. Small girls have dog houses
🤣
Damn…lol
Reply with "you're not special & enjoy your dildos. Those are the only thing to put up with you"
Wonderful video, great topics discussed. Thank you both!
Now I’m going to be looking at ear rings haha. Dr. Laurie is always ready. Great video! Love how the topic of sex is becoming more of the norm instead of being one of the shameful topics. It’s about time. Can’t wait to ready the book and for more videos! Thank you for everything you do!
The bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe
Great Knowledge You Share With The Information 🤔😁❤
Penis size and other things? Part of the problem is with communication. Women are so often disingenous men can't trust to get a truthful answer even if they ask. But it's not just sex but relationships in general.
Took a couple years before my wife (then girlfriend) would tell me what she liked and wanted and what I was doing right and doing not so right. I was not offneded at all. In fact I was relieved and the sex got better and she had more orgasms. Women need to be open and honest and men need to pay attention and forget ego.
You are lucky most women never do. Then become more and more frustrated, take it out on the man and then divorce him.
Thank u for reminding the guys on that ego part lol
Ew dude. Stop with the orgasm talk.
@@michaelwaninger3155 sounds about accurate lol
Nah bro, we gotta be mind readers XD
Great video thank you ladies,agree 100%
Oh my gosh.. I found these comments so engaging even more than the video
Just subbed! 1 million right around the corner! Congratulations 🎊!!!
As a man and as student to women, I definitely have been watching Rena's videos to understand the female anatomy.
What a amazing video. Thank you so much
Hey Doc! Great title for Laurie's book, effective marketing for sure...
Great video sisters, much appreciate it
Great lessons here.
Thank you
This is great info - thank you!!
this is a great video Dr Malik very informative lots of love ❤❤ keep up ur good work beautiful lady.
Well I learned a lot that may have saved some past relationships. But this has definitely took away some insecurities I had, thanks doc!
To be fair, if the sexual component of your relationships was the making or breaking point, they weren't worth being with anyways.
Thank you for this. I believe that as a male this isn’t just a video for us but for females to so they can get a understanding as well. Because they as well have unrealistic expectations. Especially when it comes to the pain part where females believe pain is a good approach
YES!!!! Sexual Education for us all!!!
Good for beterment of famaly life.😂😂😂😂
I think also part of the reason men have the insecurity is because a lot of the times women blame men explicitly for their penile length. It closes any path of communication as it puts the man in a vulnerable position.
Nice to see you doctor 💕
All I got to say is shout out to these wonderful women giving men their self esteem and confidence back
What planet are you living on? Critiquing a man, what he does and how he does it is not the beginning of a healthy relationship. Good luck with that one...unless you want him to wear skinny jeans and split the bills with you. Perhaps he can stay home with the kids and do laundry/make dinner while you go out and earn more than him. Totally normal, right?
@@user-vw7qe1cf9x 😂😂 wtf are you talkin about clown WTW WTW
Thats a fcking cap lmao
What a fantastic video, Dr. Malik!
I think this is still rather simplistic - many women are not just comfortable with the loss of control over their bodies they experience in orgasm and are therefore hesitant to relax and allow it to happen. In older women with latent or occasional bladder control issues this becomes a much much bigger hesitation/rejection issue. As a man who cares and tries hard its quite dispiriting to realize the woman you are trying to pleasure is actually trying her hardest not to experience orgasm through will power and eventually physical rejection (pulling away etc).
Thank you for this clip
You are both awesome, thank you for making another good and educative video
I have not finished this video but will say I always approach sex the same way I would approach manners in general.... my mom always said "lady's first" . She was a smart woman...
There should be some talk about the sexual effort gap, because in more than a few of my relationships (Straight), it feels like all effort comes from me as the man. Effort during foreplay, effort during intercourse, and its lopsided in that regard. Men very often do all the work to get themselves to orgasm during intercourse, and all the work during foreplay for hers. Men are considered selfish if they don't want to, or know to put the work in during foreplay, but its almost fine or completely accepted as normal that many women just show up and lay there.
Good point. When Dr Mintz gave the stat about orgasm gap the statistic has no meaning until you compare the effort gap/work/preparation and attitude gap. I wonder why she does not touch on the very crucial topic of effort. These two female doctors seem to have very little knowledge of or respect for the male perspective and experience. Men are required to put in a lot of effort and men judged by the amount of effort they put into the sex act. Women tend to get a free pass on their lack of effort.
As I remember it just about 90% of women did absolutely nothing but be there.
I'm so glad I'm in that 7%. Is not the size. Is the energy. The personality. The experience and the care for the other. The love, regardless of the type and length of the relationship or encounter. Sex and love, deep love are the same. Once we connect to that energy, we are transparent, healthy, lovable and full of passion. Try it. Don't be afraid to Be yourself. Freedom is sexy!
Thank you both for that great interview. There is so much valuable information that you both have shared! I really appreciate!
Dr. Malik, I congratulate you for what you are doing and encourage you to continue. I think it is a great contribution to our health! Again, thank you so much! God bless! 👊🏼
Thank you Dr. Rena and of course Dr. Mintz !! Another excellent video !!⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ From all of my experience in life, my partners pleasure and satisfaction has, “always,” been paramount. I’ve always have taken things slow getting to know my partners (likes & dislikes). I’ve always been mindfully vigilante of her desires and satisfaction through clitoral stimulation, G-spot, etc.
Allowing an enormous time for foreplay is key, along with great intimacy and romance. I’ve always been a romantic person so I’ve never been concerned of my size, because I’ve always received “rave reviews.” I think I’ll get Dr. Mintzs’ book. I totally agreed 105% with everything that was mentioned in this video. Thanks again 🌹🌹 - Keith
I agree. Ask and you shall receive, because I want you to enjoy this as I do. But ladies first!
I remember my first time, it was ackward and my gf at the time didn't help, after that single event she told me she expected me to do better, eventually we had our 2nd time and after that it was normal. it's lack of communication and willingness to teach or reexperience things (i've had women say for various topics, "i've done that already") that can really make dating hard, being a man I often feel a lot of lady think the man has to know and do everything like I can't have blind spots, openness to their experiences or wanting to try something they already experienced myself.
Thank you so much, Dr. Malik, for this video. You confirmed so much of what I thought was true. I love going down on my wife but, she is kind of shy about it but, I am usually able to get her off quite well anyway. I did buy her a toy but it took her a bit to warm up to it now, she uses it regularly and loves it. One thing I really wish is that there was a "private page" or perhaps an "Only Fans" kind of page that does real sex education using couples to demonstrate different sexual techniques and ways for the partners to pleasure each other for all of us to learn from.
Thank you for the great video! I love the vibrator commentary and the mindfulness discussion. In my past experiences, having a vibrator (or two or more) has been very helpful...also can be fun to watch...
And or a tongue
Hi great show love the info.
I learned about being present during relaxation massage. I got no results until I applied a technique I learned in yoga; I placed my awareness where the masseuse's hands were. That was the key.
My wife's pleasure was always first and foremost. We have been married 47 years, and always experimented. So we knew this for a very long time. Men are easy. That's why we always learned her. Both of us together. Keys should be unselfishness, communication, caring. Harder part is to keep it exciting, the other side of menopause. That is where romance should be enhanced, and foremost.
Ya and she has a guy outside who does the job
i agree, with my ex wife i would always make sure she always had an organism first, sex was always best when we both were fulfilled.
Bet y’all relationship is boring😂
@@cflip7452 That’s just rude. You can’t say you think someone’s relationship is boring bc of one comment on a yt video.
Yawn.
Woah she's amazing when comes to this topics, Thank you Doc and our sex therapist very well said,,I'll been Married for 26 years my wife and I we always enjoyed our making love time and always asked her, I can wait to see us go again and again. That's why important for us to keep it real and understand each other's feelings and needs....thank you again...you two are amazing 👏..
Very educative topic indeed
After 8 years of marriage me and my husband talked about what is working and what is not
Great video. Very informative!
What an excellent interview!!
Thank you for this video....I can rant, but anyway I love the content on the channel
Very helpful information thankyou
Females will never let the size go away it's a way for them to make them self feel better
L
In my personal experience , it's all about communication , I have noticed that women can be very bashful about saying what feels good to 'her' , as an individual .
As a monogamous heterosexual Lover, as a Man, and as a Physician, I commend you BOTH for a factually-based presentation (based upon what is Real and thus actually, factually, truthfully, Exists in Reality). This rational and intelligent conversation will help allay pervasive anxieties regarding sexuality, and help to correct misunderstandings regarding sexual intercourse amongst people of all genders.
***The importance of MINDFULNESS (as cogently noted and introduced), mutual Respect, Compassion, Empathy, and Friendship (Relationships) when addressing and implementing sexuality is a fundamental element in sexual and Psychic healthfulness.
Auf Wiedersehen!
Salomè (Peace be with You)! Mögest Du in das Licht, der Wahrheit, und dem SEIN der Schöpfung leben.
LOL VCR I was stuck with the magazines.
A big reason why there is a lack of knowledge of sexual pleasure in men is because most women either don't want to or don't feel like is there responsible to inform their partner as to what they like or want during sex. The longer a man goes thinking he's doing it right or that there is a one method fits all attitude it will stay unbalanced.
True
Very informative and educational
Very educational information for us fellas. Thanks Doc
You are absolutely correct
Dr. Malik rocks!!! Men’s health champion
My wife and I have learned these truths over our 49 years together. It is the warmth of our moments of intimacy that leads to shared orgasm. Now with prostate cancer and waiting for treatment, I know that no matter the side effects, we will be ok. Thanks.
Michael, best wishes to you and I hope you have a speedy recovery. They’ve come a long ways with treatment. God Bless you and your wife.
@@dazeofmylife I received two does of HR Brachytherapy in four days----18 "knitting needles" each. PSA went from 27 to 1.9, a year later. Things still work, but you sure know that you are not 16 anymore. The urologist advised that the freezing procedure means "you will never have erection again." An uncle had the "seeds" and suffered the same fate. In my case, the biopsy was the worst part of the procedure---and that was just multiple jabs of the anesthetic.
Try Ivermectin, it may save you.
@@alitatunertc1775 Ivermectin is for Covid so I've read.
@@dazeofmylife6385 dig deeper. You will find out the benefit of it. Cancer is a big money industry.
Very interesting topic👌👍
LovePlay is Key = MINDFULNESS
How someone is made to FEEL comfortable ‘Get Loose’ with a certain someone
Genuine personality & character ( meaning , what one is really made out of inside …,in their heart &/or mind )
How one make some one feel as a person
My best experience was with a older girl. I was 26 and she was 36. She knew what she wanted and I was eager to ask and listen to her. Was the best relation I ever had both when it came to sex but also when it came to actually talk about sex.
Nice older babe
That's why I marred a slightly older gal second time around
age has noting to do with it this is myth
@@sunbeem4467 With age comes experience...that has a lot to do with it!
@@sqnhunter There is no 'fuckolympics'. There is diminishing returns at some point. You aren't going to become a dramatically better lover over decades of experience. There are many different factors involved.