43 yo and i have no friends. i'm an introvert, neurodivergent (adhd) with social anxiety... i've always felt different than my peers, with different interests and i feel like i see things differently. i feel like people are stupid and shallow LOL they're all sucking up to the emperor but i'm the one saying the emperor is naked... so yeah. i'm alone 99% of my time and i'm mostly ok. i feel lonely when i'm around people, plus social encounters exhaust me after 5 minutes.
Single and no friends or family. Only real people I talk to are at work. Would kill for a cuddle or something every now and again but people are exhausting
Agree with all of your points! Another big one for me was finding out that I have Aspergers and all of the social deficiencies that comes with that. And to piggyback on “capitalism”…a lot of us don’t live in walkable communities after college-which makes it extremely difficult to make and maintain lasting friendships via proximity. For me at least, I feel like a lot of people live kinda far from my area, and it just makes getting together to hang out more of an endeavor than it should be :(
Or if you live in a congested area like LA, for example... meeting up with someone is a planned odyssey (you really have to commit)! Good point about distance and transportation! Thank you so much for watching!
I have one friend who is see a few times a year and its so casual we forget each others birthdays 😂 I have had a lot of friends that are gone and i had this narrative in my head that no-one liked me enough to stick around. When i journaled about it - listing every single friendship and what happened - it turns out i continuously raised my standards and actually dropped them myself by disengaging. I was a big people pleaser when I was younger but as I matured i found nastiness, lying, competitiveness, showing off, differing values, and most of all overbearing behaviour all became intolerable to me. I hope to make some more friends in the future but I have a feeling they’ll be online. All the best people like their own company too much to let other people ruin it!
I can totally relate, I have one really close friend and we’re now a distance away from each other but since I’ve been an only child I do get exhausted with big groups! Good points
Teresa, Thank you for this intriguing video essay. You make many valid points. As you note, friendship is a two-way street and one needs to examine the pros and cons of any relationship. Good friends are important and special, so pick and choose carefully, and be comfortable with yourself.
What a great topic! I am an only child. My friends were like my siblings growing up. I felt lonely sometimes but I had my friends. I am also an ambivert. My husband is totally introverted. And my daughter is totally extraverted. 😂 As an adult I have like four close friends. Two of them live in different states. Two of them live in the same city in close proximity. I had an older lady friend who I met during the pandemic. She was definitely a toxic person, told the same three stories over and over again. Talked badly about other people and her own kids! We were friends for about three years but then she just became too much, so I had to let her go. I felt bad but she was clueless about how her own actions affected other people.
Ideally I would have 3 close friends. I don't know why I'm so set on the number 3... with a party of 4 we can fill out a booth like in Seinfeld! 🤣 Wish there was someone you can pay (a social assassin) who can go up to people who are clueless/toxic like that and tell them to stop and maybe the world would be a better place.
Agreed you need 3 so you have a group of 4. With three, one is always left out! I actually have my own rule about this after learning my lesson - no going out with 2 other girls. Think about it - sidewalks, rollercoasters.. they fit two. You end up awkwardly alone while they bond even more right in front of you! 😂
5:52 I just found this transition funny. Lets remember the good times, now lets talk about CAPITALISM I mostly blame myself for not reaching out and making an effort for friends but work certainly does make it harder to find time to get together with friends and their own schedules. When it is time on my part, I just don't feel like it. I take friends for granted, I take people for granted.
Loyalty, Faithfulness is not valued as it was...Look at our Culture (If we still have one). Where is our History cherished? Family Honored? Free to speak your mind?.....You are so correct: My True Friends are thousands of miles across the 🌍 World! I have zero here in my city...strange and curious
I make pretty good friends but I just move too much for work to really have what I would call “real friends”. Add the fact that I’m in my thirties now, single, and all my friends are married and/or have kids. And my friends that aren’t married are going hard in the clubs lol, which again, I’m in my thirties now so I don’t really want to do that every weekend either. I’m just in social no man’s land lol
I can speak of Retro Cinema, Classic Cocktail Lounge Jazz, Tokyo City Pop, World History, Human Psychology...but also Snoopy cartoons, Looney Tunes, B-Movie Classics, Classic Pop Culture, Tchaikovsky...very few I know have a clue about any of these interests
No friends, No family, Just PEACE.
I dig this motto🤣 Let's replace the Live Laugh Love sign with it!
43 yo and i have no friends. i'm an introvert, neurodivergent (adhd) with social anxiety... i've always felt different than my peers, with different interests and i feel like i see things differently. i feel like people are stupid and shallow LOL they're all sucking up to the emperor but i'm the one saying the emperor is naked... so yeah. i'm alone 99% of my time and i'm mostly ok. i feel lonely when i'm around people, plus social encounters exhaust me after 5 minutes.
introverts✊ understand!
Single and no friends or family. Only real people I talk to are at work. Would kill for a cuddle or something every now and again but people are exhausting
Agree with all of your points! Another big one for me was finding out that I have Aspergers and all of the social deficiencies that comes with that. And to piggyback on “capitalism”…a lot of us don’t live in walkable communities after college-which makes it extremely difficult to make and maintain lasting friendships via proximity. For me at least, I feel like a lot of people live kinda far from my area, and it just makes getting together to hang out more of an endeavor than it should be :(
Or if you live in a congested area like LA, for example... meeting up with someone is a planned odyssey (you really have to commit)! Good point about distance and transportation! Thank you so much for watching!
I have one friend who is see a few times a year and its so casual we forget each others birthdays 😂 I have had a lot of friends that are gone and i had this narrative in my head that no-one liked me enough to stick around. When i journaled about it - listing every single friendship and what happened - it turns out i continuously raised my standards and actually dropped them myself by disengaging. I was a big people pleaser when I was younger but as I matured i found nastiness, lying, competitiveness, showing off, differing values, and most of all overbearing behaviour all became intolerable to me. I hope to make some more friends in the future but I have a feeling they’ll be online. All the best people like their own company too much to let other people ruin it!
I can totally relate, I have one really close friend and we’re now a distance away from each other but since I’ve been an only child I do get exhausted with big groups! Good points
Yep, you pretty much summed up all the reasons beautifully
thank you!
Teresa, Thank you for this intriguing video essay. You make many valid points. As you note, friendship is a two-way street and one needs to examine the pros and cons of any relationship. Good friends are important and special, so pick and choose carefully, and be comfortable with yourself.
What a great topic! I am an only child. My friends were like my siblings growing up. I felt lonely sometimes but I had my friends. I am also an ambivert. My husband is totally introverted. And my daughter is totally extraverted. 😂 As an adult I have like four close friends. Two of them live in different states. Two of them live in the same city in close proximity. I had an older lady friend who I met during the pandemic. She was definitely a toxic person, told the same three stories over and over again. Talked badly about other people and her own kids! We were friends for about three years but then she just became too much, so I had to let her go. I felt bad but she was clueless about how her own actions affected other people.
Ideally I would have 3 close friends. I don't know why I'm so set on the number 3... with a party of 4 we can fill out a booth like in Seinfeld! 🤣 Wish there was someone you can pay (a social assassin) who can go up to people who are clueless/toxic like that and tell them to stop and maybe the world would be a better place.
Agreed you need 3 so you have a group of 4. With three, one is always left out! I actually have my own rule about this after learning my lesson - no going out with 2 other girls. Think about it - sidewalks, rollercoasters.. they fit two. You end up awkwardly alone while they bond even more right in front of you! 😂
5:52 I just found this transition funny.
Lets remember the good times, now lets talk about CAPITALISM
I mostly blame myself for not reaching out and making an effort for friends but work certainly does make it harder to find time to get together with friends and their own schedules. When it is time on my part, I just don't feel like it.
I take friends for granted, I take people for granted.
Lost it when I saw the Zerwee cover at 7:23 😆😆
Loyalty, Faithfulness is not valued as it was...Look at our Culture (If we still have one). Where is our History cherished? Family Honored? Free to speak your mind?.....You are so correct: My True Friends are thousands of miles across the 🌍 World! I have zero here in my city...strange and curious
I make pretty good friends but I just move too much for work to really have what I would call “real friends”. Add the fact that I’m in my thirties now, single, and all my friends are married and/or have kids. And my friends that aren’t married are going hard in the clubs lol, which again, I’m in my thirties now so I don’t really want to do that every weekend either. I’m just in social no man’s land lol
Organised hobbies with mixed groups are what you need - though my own block to this is transport and money 😅
I'm on the same boat
Selfishness, in the end, is the Ultimate Insanity...It only leads to utter destruction of joy, sanity and happiness....
I can speak of Retro Cinema, Classic Cocktail Lounge Jazz, Tokyo City Pop, World History, Human Psychology...but also Snoopy cartoons, Looney Tunes, B-Movie Classics, Classic Pop Culture, Tchaikovsky...very few I know have a clue about any of these interests
People friends are overrated- give me a rescue dog any day! Lol
👏👏👏
my best friend sarah ashley magnum
People r just boring and want a dancing monkey in a friend. No thanks